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BeyondWords: The Cliff Edge, The Tiger, and The Strawberry

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BeyondWords

Forgive the strange title: I believe those words relate to an ancient Zen story.

 

Anyway: a little about me....I have been on Seroxat (Paxil) for close to 20 years, have tried 2 or 3 times before to quit it, I am over 6 weeks into my latest attempt, and it ain't easy just now. I have done a gradual tapering; I used to just about (but not really) get by on 20mg....Ended up during that time living and working in another country ? , finally burnt out over there and admitted defeat. Came back to the UK. On the advice of family, went up to 30mg (not for the first time). The recent tapering has involved: back to 20mg for at least 6 months; then down to 10mg for over 6 months....Down to nothing for the last 6 weeks. (With hindsight, and reading a couple of other posts on here, etc, I realise this was probably too quick). I would say all withdrawal symptoms are mental rather than physical; although I know these two aspects are intimately linked and interacting, I've done it slowly enough to avoid any of the classic "shock" sensations associated with Paxil - or what one might call "Seroxat Flu".... Also, my sleeping patterns don't appear to be too much disturbed.

 

Not too long after I returned from another country my father died. I am 42 years old and lost my mother to cancer at the age of 13, so am effectively now a middle-aged orphan. Have one sibling, a sister, who also has mental health problems, but there is much bitterness and anger between us (even though we do deep down love each other). We haven't spoken for about 6 months. She accuses me of only ever contacting her when I have a problem or am down, so I'm fairly stuffed down that avenue at the moment ?

 

I have never had a proper romantic relationship...Almost hardly ever had sex - and usually not got much "out of it" due to the SSRIs and probably some emotional problems too.

 

I was diagnosed with Body Dysmorphic Disorder in 2000....I am just about managing to hold that at bay at present, but depression and some catastrophic thinking patterns are vying for space in my mind.....I am trying to stay in the moment as much as possible, trying to meditate....Some sporadic success here does alleviate some of the emotional pain occasionally.

 

I try to treat myself to certain material things, or life events, every so often, and that helps also.

When my dad died, I inherited more money than I have had in my life; but it is relatively little considering the cost of living in the UK these days. I have already squandered a small fraction of that money on one occasion on a girl  - an example of lust over love, my own vulnerability and loneliness and naevity - but I have mentally put that behind me.

 

I tentatively manage to hold down full-time work; how well I am actually functioning at work depends on each individual perspective of my various coworkers - as strange and obtuse as that sounds. I suppose I am trying to say that I gel well, in terms of compatibility and likeability, with certain coworkers far more than others.

 

Anyway. I have written far more than most people would easily be able to digest in one sitting.....If you got this far then thank you so much ?

Edited by mammaP
Changed title

I've taken Seroxat (Paxil) for approximately 18 years.
In recent years, I've tended to alternate (as circumstances dictated) between periods of being on 20mg/daily and 30mg/daily.
Over the last year or so I've reduced from 20 to 10 and then to 0mg daily (admittedly, this may have been at too fast a rate)

Update: as of 28th June 2017, have started taking 5mg daily, hopefully as an effective reinstatement dose

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mammaP

Hi, welcome to SA.  Going off a drug in huge steps is not recommended because it is a shock to the system when a drug that has been taken for a long time is suddenly halved. I did this too once and ended up back on the full dose eventually. Many people taper off this way but inevitably end up back on meds because the brain and nervous system haven't been able to adjust. Some can be fine for months before withdrawal sets in and sadly doctors diagnose a relapse and more drugs are prescribed. The symptoms you describe are typical of withdrawal and could be eased with a small reinstatement. 5mg could be enough to help, then when you are stable you could start to taper slowly of the small dose. Withdrawal can go on for a long time for some people, while others and better in a shorter time. Everyone is different but the longer a drug has been taken the more difficult it can be to stop without withdrawal.  I will get some topics for you to read through. First, we ask all our members to fill in the signature, you can find how to do this here.... 

http://survivingantidepressants.org/index.php?/topic/12364-please-put-your-withdrawal-history-in-your-signature/

 

What is withdrawal syndrome

http://survivingantidepressants.org/index.php?/topic/7562-about-reinstating-and-stabilizing-to-reduce-withdrawal-symptoms/

Why taper 10%

http://survivingantidepressants.org/index.php?/topic/603-what-is-withdrawal-syndrome/

Tapering paxil 

http://survivingantidepressants.org/index.php?/topic/405-tips-for-tapering-off-paxil-paroxetine/

About reinstating to stabilise

http://survivingantidepressants.org/index.php?/topic/7562-about-reinstating-and-stabilizing-to-reduce-withdrawal-symptoms/

 

Edited by mammaP

**I am not a medical professional, if in doubt please consult a doctor with withdrawal knowledge.

 

 

Different drugs occasionally (mostly benzos) 1976 - 1981 (no problem)

1993 - 2002 in and out of hospital. every type of drug + ECT. Staring with seroxat

2002  effexor. 

Tapered  March 2012 to March 2013, ending with 5 beads.

Withdrawal April 2013 . Reinstated 5 beads reduced to 4 beads May 2013

Restarted taper  Nov 2013  

OFF EFFEXOR Feb 2015    :D 

Tapered atenolol and omeprazole Dec 2013 - May 2014

 

Tapering tramadol, Feb 2015 100mg , March 2015 50mg  

 July 2017 30mg.  May 15 2018 25mg

Taking fish oil, magnesium, B12, folic acid, bilberry eyebright for eye pressure. 

 

My story http://survivingantidepressants.org/index.php?/topic/4199-hello-mammap-checking-in/page-33

 

Lesson learned, slow down taper at lower doses. Taper no more than 10% of CURRENT dose if possible

 

 

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brassmonkey

Hi Beyond-- Welcome to SA. We can help. I just completed a taper off of 40mg of paxil that I took for 23 years.  I'm in recovery and everything is going great.  The trick is a very long, slow taper,but it does work.  The speed of you taper is what is causing your WD symptoms.  Once we get the information sorted out I think a small reinstatement will help stabilize the symptoms.  Then once stable a slow taper will successfully get you free of the drugs.

 

I'm sorry to hear about the recent loss of your father.  Loosing a parent is always a tough one to get through.

 

Again welcome to the group.

 

Brassmonkey

Edited by mammaP

20 years on Paxil starting at 20mg and working up to 40mg. Sept 2011 started 10% every 6 weeks taper (2.5% every week for 4 weeks then hold for 2 additional weeks), currently at 7.9mg. Oct 2011 CTed 15oz vodka a night, to only drinking 2 beers most nights, totally sober Feb 2013.

Since I wrote this I have continued to decrease my dose by 10% every 6 weeks (2.5% every week for 4 weeks and then hold for an additional 2 weeks). I added in an extra 6 week hold when I hit 10mg to let things settle out even more. When I hit 3mgpw it became hard to split the drop into 4 parts so I switched to dropping 1mgpw (pill weight) every week for 3 weeks and then holding for another 3 weeks.  The 3 + 3 schedule turned out to be too harsh so I cut back to dropping 1mgpw every 4 weeks which is working better.

Current dose 0.000mg 04-15-2017

 

"It's also important not to become angry, no matter how difficult life is, because you can loose all hope if you can't laugh at yourself and at life in general."  Stephen Hawking

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BeyondWords

Thank you so much Brassmonkey and MammaP,

Yes, the loss of my father was a toughie....I loved him very much, but he was so strong and philosophical as he reached the end, and I was so proud of him....His second battle with cancer -  with over a three decade gap in between - but he was such a brave man.


I've taken Seroxat (Paxil) for approximately 18 years.
In recent years, I've tended to alternate (as circumstances dictated) between periods of being on 20mg/daily and 30mg/daily.
Over the last year or so I've reduced from 20 to 10 and then to 0mg daily (admittedly, this may have been at too fast a rate)

Update: as of 28th June 2017, have started taking 5mg daily, hopefully as an effective reinstatement dose

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LostInTheWoods

Is this the story behind your title?

 

"Pursued by a tiger, you scramble off the edge of a 60′ cliff managing to find a couple of vines to hold you from falling. Looking down, you see another tiger hungrily waiting below.
You notice that the vines you hold are slowly being uprooted. Its only a matter of time before you fall, though, you have done, and are doing, everything in your power to find a way out of this.
Beside you, you notice a ripe wild strawberry growing within reach. You pick it and temporarily slip away into a blissful state, thinking it to be as ripe and perfect as a strawberry could taste."

 

I do find it a little sad, but that could be the depressed current me. Love how you appreciate and recognize the bravery of your father, hope it serves you as an ideal to cling during the hard times.

 

+1 to the advice of tapering slowly, even if it the pace looks like a crawling snail. As long as you can hang out happy and safe from the truly bad WD symptoms, little else matter.


Name LostInTheWoods evokes both the feeling of getting stranded, forsaken and alone in an alien, hostile environment and the chance to experience awareness, tranquility and self-discovery during the experience. Just call me Lost in the posts.

 

February 2012. After a crisis, a crippling anxiety that culminated in a panic attack. Started 20 mg Paxil and Clonazepam.

Clonazepam left quickly in the 2nd attempt.

About about a year on 20 mg, begin tapering.

June 2014, after several weeks on 5 mg and trying to dose down, went CT.

May 2015.Anxiety came back again, went to psychiatrist back. Fluoxetine was tried and left because of bad reaction, returned to paroxetine. Start tapering in mid 2016.

December 2016. After like 2 months of going 2,5 mg, stopped paroxetine.

Truth to be told, descended into a downward spiral of caffeine, alcohol and masturbation.

January  26, 2017. Wave with some tinnitus that was fixed by a visit to the ENT.

April 21, 2017. Acid reflux at night was a stressor that triggered another wave.Vices have been put into check and only a drink or two a week remain.

By May 7 stabilized with a little anxiety left and some pains.

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BeyondWords

Hi LostInTheWoods,

Yes, it is indeed to that story (or any similar version of it) that I'm referring. I am sorry to hear that it also resonates with your own predicament, but I'm happy that you talk about it in relation to yourself as "the current me", which implies that you will be able to make progress in the future; and I sincerely hope that we (and any others like us) can always see at least one avenue towards progress, nomatter how narrow and treacherous that avenue can seem at times.

It's funny, but I've been back to the doctors today, to try the reinstatement method....And sure enough, it is always a stark lesson when you realise just how much a doctor's opinion can differ from, for example, many of the people with first-hand experience on these message boards.

He was only a young doctor (not sure if that's relevant) but firstly he tentatively suggested that the rate at which I'd tapered didn't sound too severe....After I'd reminded him that I'd been on these meds for 18 years, he did concede that that was a "good point" :huh:

Then I raised the question of whether Paroxetine Hydrochloride (i.e. Paxil / Seroxat) is available in liquid form over here in the UK...After a small search, he discovered that it was, but then expressed (again tentatively) concern about the cost of it....After saying that I would pay additional costs, he revealed that he was thinking more about the costs incurred by the National Health Service (NHS) over here.....However, after reconsidering the amount of time I'd been on the pills, he concluded his assessment in a manner which suggested that it was definitely a possibility that the liquid would be available to me.

Anyway, to sum up, as of today I am back on a daily dose of 5mg, which I'm hoping will prove to be a successful reinstatement strategy after my six-week break from the med.

The last point I will make is to say that I informed the doctor that the chief reason I have tried to come off this time [and in reality, it probably has been every time] was concern over PSSD symptoms.....I related to him with alarm that by doing a little research on the internet, I had discovered that often there is no cure for these :wacko: He then jumped in, "until you come off"; and I added, "well, the worrying thing is that it persists for many people without there being reliable treatments"......I truly believe that, at least over here in the UK, and at least in the world of the General Practitioner (the name we give over here to just a general doctor), the knowledge-base is way behind the collected knowledge of those who've made it their business, through desperation, to know these things......Oh well.

All the best to everyone who reads this ;)


I've taken Seroxat (Paxil) for approximately 18 years.
In recent years, I've tended to alternate (as circumstances dictated) between periods of being on 20mg/daily and 30mg/daily.
Over the last year or so I've reduced from 20 to 10 and then to 0mg daily (admittedly, this may have been at too fast a rate)

Update: as of 28th June 2017, have started taking 5mg daily, hopefully as an effective reinstatement dose

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BeyondWords

OK, so I should probably document the following; as much as anything so that it provides a future source of reference about my "recovery" should I need it.

 

After taking 5mg of Seroxat (Paxil) yesterday morning to combat the rising of ominous WDs resulting from a six week CT from the drug (after having been on 10mg the previous 6 months) I report the following symptoms:

 

* Although a very mild impression at first, I felt a practically instant tiny increase in my level of optimism about the day ahead. I was still almost dreading going to work, but there was an almost imperceptible improvement in the energy levels and motivation.

 

* At work, although some of the recent catastrophic thoughts, or majorly depressing thoughts (I hardly know which are worse), occasional popped into my head, I found that a steady engagement in the work I was doing just about kept me on an even keel. Incidentally, I work in retail, and there is probably slightly more physical than mental activity involved. (That's not intended to be ironic - rather just to express that I tend to be moving about quite a bit; and I think this provides somewhat of a distraction from my woes)

 

[There was a rather worrying moment about half way through the shift, when a customer's handling of a grievance about something (not entirely unjustified) about the store I work in felt like a personal attack on me, and I had more trouble than usual handling it in the professional manner which I normally assume - but I think I just about "scraped through"]

 

* At the end of the shift, and waiting to catch the train home, I sensed a remarkable improvement to feelings of wellbeing, and I was cautiously optimistic about letting a little hope about the future enter my thinking (I was cautious because I didn't want to forget how bad WD can be and how real the troubling thoughts accompanying it had seemed only a few hours earlier)

 

* I was prompted to write this at 5am this morning because I had woken up (from excitable dreams, which I usually don't have any of) much earlier than expected with an elevated heart rate, and a sense of slightly uncomfortable digestive sensations....I was worried I might have some onset of Seratonin Syndrome (SS), but on using the bathroom I was relived to find that the stools, though loose, were not like diarrhea (said the be a possible symptom of SS)

 

* Almost on hour on from that now and my body (and mind) seemed to have calmed down again....I had been thinking that another trip to my doctor might have been necessary this morning had the symptoms not calmed down.


I've taken Seroxat (Paxil) for approximately 18 years.
In recent years, I've tended to alternate (as circumstances dictated) between periods of being on 20mg/daily and 30mg/daily.
Over the last year or so I've reduced from 20 to 10 and then to 0mg daily (admittedly, this may have been at too fast a rate)

Update: as of 28th June 2017, have started taking 5mg daily, hopefully as an effective reinstatement dose

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BeyondWords

Update:

 

Still dosing at 5mg daily.

 

Strange pangs of paranoia and catastrophic thinking whilst lying in bed last night. I know the Cognitive Behavioural model would have it that all emotions etc, begin with a thought. But sometimes it feels as though these sensations begin and arise from the gut, and they sometimes feel alarmingly detached from thought activity, which adds to a sense that they are somehow connected to something more real in life - realities that one feels powerless against at the worst times.

 

After all, if we can get something down on paper in front of us, we can challenge such a thought. Without that, one feels like a little like a car careering along a treacherous road with the brake cables cut ?

 

Still - I am forcing myself in to work every day, and the physical activity is a good distraction.


I've taken Seroxat (Paxil) for approximately 18 years.
In recent years, I've tended to alternate (as circumstances dictated) between periods of being on 20mg/daily and 30mg/daily.
Over the last year or so I've reduced from 20 to 10 and then to 0mg daily (admittedly, this may have been at too fast a rate)

Update: as of 28th June 2017, have started taking 5mg daily, hopefully as an effective reinstatement dose

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BeyondWords

Another 3 days on at 5mg/daily, and I'm frightened I'm not stabilising.

I'm supposed to be going on a 5 day holiday/classical guitar retreat in Scotland, and since it's cost me money I don't want to lose for nothing I HAVE to go; but right now it's almost a mammoth task just to get out of bed.

I am at my friend's house (who also has depression issues, etc), but I am struggling to be any kind of good company.

 

What a mess I feel I have got myself into yet again! - yet it is not entirely my fault; more a build up of bad circumstances across the whole of my life....I have precious few ppl to talk to....

 

I hope  I can climb out of a hole yet again ?


I've taken Seroxat (Paxil) for approximately 18 years.
In recent years, I've tended to alternate (as circumstances dictated) between periods of being on 20mg/daily and 30mg/daily.
Over the last year or so I've reduced from 20 to 10 and then to 0mg daily (admittedly, this may have been at too fast a rate)

Update: as of 28th June 2017, have started taking 5mg daily, hopefully as an effective reinstatement dose

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scallywag

It can take many weeks to stabilize after a dose change. Please read:

How long to stabilize after reinstating or updosing.

 

Recovery often happens in a pattern; please read The Windows and Waves pattern of stabilization.

 

Most of us find it helpful to keep track of our symptoms. Please keep notes on paper of your symptoms and the times of your dose(s). This post has a useful format for a daily log:

Take notes of doses and symptoms.


This is not medical advice. Discuss any decisions about your medical care with a knowledgeable medical practitioner.
1997-1999 Effexor; 2002-2005 Effexor XR 37.5 mg linear taper, dropping same #beads/week with bad results

Cymbalta 60 mg 2012 - 2015; 2016: 20 mg to 7 mg exact doses and dates in this post; 2017: 6.3 mg to  0.0 mg  Aug. 12; details here


scallywag's Introduction
Online spreadsheet for dose taper calculations and nz11's THE WORKS spreadsheet

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JanCarol

Hey Beyond - 

 

That you had an almost immediate response to your reinstatement is an excellent indicator that your reinstatement will "stick."

 

It doesn't mean that all of your withdrawals will go away - the hope is to make them just bearable enough to go on.  Plan on holding at 5 mg for a significant amount of time, say 3-6 months, or - if you have a good month, wait another month before tapering again.

 

So did you go to Scotland?  As hard as it might seem, it sounds like an uplifting thing to be involved in!

 

I hope you see the sun today!


"Easy, easy - just go easy and you'll finish." - Hawaiian Kapuna

 

Holding is hard work, holding is a blessing. Give your brain time to heal before you try again.

 

My suggestions are not medical advice, you are in charge of your own medical choices.

 

A lifetime of being prescribed antidepressants that caused problems (30 years in total). At age 35 flipped to "bipolar," but was not diagnosed for 5 years. Started my journey in Midwest United States. Crossed the Pacific for love and hope; currently living in Australia.   CT Seroquel 25 mg some time in 2013.   Tapered Reboxetine 4 mg Oct 2013 to Sept 2014 = GONE (3 years on Reboxetine).     Tapered Lithium 900 to 475 MG (alternating with the SNRI) Jan 2014 - Nov 2014, tapered Lithium 475 mg Jan 2015 -  Feb 2016 = GONE (10 years  on Lithium).  Many mistakes in dry cutting dosages were made.


The tedious thread (my intro):  JanCarol ☼ Reboxetine first, then Lithium

The happy thread (my success story):  JanCarol - Undiagnosed  Off all bipolar drugs

My own blog:  https://shamanexplorations.com/shamans-blog/

 

 

I have been psych drug FREE since 1 Feb 2016!

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BeyondWords

Hii JanCarol,

 

Thanks for your words of support ☺

 

I did go to Scotland but unfortunately I didn't enjoy myself for several reasons:

 

- it cost a small fortune; to me at any rate (one of the reasons I didn't abandon the trip altogether was that I knew at least part of it was nonrefundable, and the other half probably having costs outstanding which I couldn't reverse).

 

- the island, the scenery and the weather combined for what should have been "breathtaking" views, with lots of "idyllic" little bays. Pretty much none of this could cut through my despondency and depression ? [aaargh, the power of chemicals!].

 

- the guitar "teachers" were, mostly, unsympathetic and full of ego. However, my mood was so low, it probably wouldn't have made much difference had they been the most cheery supportive bunch anyway ?

 

- Lastly - and probably most importantly - I got a phone call from a police officer, asking me to confirm my address, how long I'd lived there, and telling me they'd been trying to contact me. She told me that it was nothing to worry about and that I wasn't in trouble. I told her that I had mental health problems, was on "holiday", and now it would worry me. She sounded sympathetic enough when again telling me not to worry, and not to let it spoil my trip...... The problem is, there are rumours abound that the guy living a couple of doors down from me occasionally deals drugs, and I have spotted him once or twice messing around in a cupboard which is right outside my front door ?....Obviously, in my current state of mind (with catastrophic thinking and intense anxiety, etc) I am worried about getting somehow caught up in this - if not by this guy's previous actions, then by his future ones, given that the police are now aware that I live on the end flat, when that they didn't seem to be aware of that before.

 

I now feel vulnerable and stuck where I live, especially since I have no proper housing contract and don't deal with the landlord directly. But the idea of moving flat - although probably a very wise idea - feels like a mammoth task in my current state of mind; where getting out of bed seems now as huge a physical effort as perhaps cycling 10 miles might have been 6 months ago.

 

The irony is - and despite everything I mentioned before the police matter, etc - that I was determined to give 5mg/daily paroxetine hydrochloride a good go for several months, to see if my mood levelled out and became manageable. Now it frustrates me that situational circumstances (ie not really feeling safe where I live) could force me to have my dosage upped again; when in withdrawals, it is difficult to tease apart truth from fantasy, especially when thinking about what might happen in the future.

 

As an additional pressure, I am worried about my ability to get to work, and carry out work to a good standard.....I am supposed to be being transferred soon to a workplace much closer to where I live - which would be very useful considering that I can't drive (I failed my driving test twice this year already ?). But lately, I have wondered whether I would only be "strong" enough to ask my doctor for a sicknote and try to recuperate off work for a time.

 

Of course, this could jeopardise the transfer altogether - and I have always relied on work as one method to try to stay on an even keel...?

 

Why does all the s*!# seem to happen to me all the time? With precious few people to talk to, I even found myself once again on the phone to The Samaritans again today - with the last time I did that being over 15 years ago!

 

Sorry for the long vent.....

 

 

 

 

 


I've taken Seroxat (Paxil) for approximately 18 years.
In recent years, I've tended to alternate (as circumstances dictated) between periods of being on 20mg/daily and 30mg/daily.
Over the last year or so I've reduced from 20 to 10 and then to 0mg daily (admittedly, this may have been at too fast a rate)

Update: as of 28th June 2017, have started taking 5mg daily, hopefully as an effective reinstatement dose

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BeyondWords

Things have reached crisis level for me, I think. I am considering ringing the 111 out-of-hours emergency NHS number (here in the UK). This will inevitably lead to doctors upping my meds again.....but I am not functioning.

 

I can't really get out of bed; trying to eat regularly is a struggle; how the hell I will be able to get on a train on Monday and go to work is beyond me.

 

I think I have probably lost at least a stone (14 pounds) in weight in the last year - some of it muscle mass, which emotionally pains me. I am crying out for people to be able to talk to - yet this inevitably leads to the situation where they realise there is little they can do to help (besides offering words of encouragement here and there, which can give me the internal energy to perhaps "fight on" for another few hours, couple of days, etc) and back to professional medics again seems the only option.

 

I have become like a rag doll in my bed, wishing someone would come to my rescue and perhaps take care of me for a while. There is no one capable or willing to do this (no close family who can - no close friends who could ever be expected to).

 

Though I suspect WD plays the larger part of all this, there is no guarantee that underlying conditions are not complicating all this....For example, I used to have serious appearance concerns (BDD). Watching myself lose weight in this manner is horrible to behold.

 

Even if this 5mg reinstatement were eventually to prove successful, it isn't going to happen by next Monday, which means my only option would be to obtain a sicknote from the doctors, and then it's back down that potentially slippery slope: there has always been a sense that my job was one of the only things holding me together.

 

I feel very stuck ?


I've taken Seroxat (Paxil) for approximately 18 years.
In recent years, I've tended to alternate (as circumstances dictated) between periods of being on 20mg/daily and 30mg/daily.
Over the last year or so I've reduced from 20 to 10 and then to 0mg daily (admittedly, this may have been at too fast a rate)

Update: as of 28th June 2017, have started taking 5mg daily, hopefully as an effective reinstatement dose

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powerback

Hi beyondwords   ,reading your thread ,you've dealt with a lot I thank you for your honesty and cander ,such a pain living near a nasty drug dealer ,the funny  thing is I went to visit my brother in Scotland and he had one of these nasty people there ,junkies coming in and out all day ,I went over there for peace and rest and this what I had to put up with ,luckily there was a nice park near .be very careful with anyone when going through this process ,we can be extremely vulnerable .maybe go see your local MP ,you shouldn't have to put up with the nonsense,you never know you could get a transfer ,maybe a junkie wants closer to drugs and out of a nice area [tounge in cheek but u get my drift  ].you pay taxes and are a contributing member to society .

Good on you to keep working ,barely getting buy in work is loads ,as long as no one gets hurt you don't owe anyone anything .

come here and vent and you'll find loads of help and advice .

Do you walk in nature ,I highly recommend it ,its been  a solace for me ,maybe go on walking weekends ,our environment can be terrible on our moods .I always plan one if even for a day .I had a bad day yesterday but I got out for a walk in nature and good for it .

You say underlying conditions ,we all have them .the trick i reckon is learning not to label ourselves ,like what doctors do to us .

 

you say crisis point :.some back round on me ,I had a breakdown in November .trying to cope with withdrawal while working up to 6 days a week and very physical work ,my brain finally snapped ,I'm recovering still but living and getting by ,I'm clued in and a big critic of doctors and medication by this time ,so I refused the Zyprexa and  hospital ward ,I needd complete and utter rest nothing else .now I don't recommend my way by any means but society needs us back ticking away like little robots not our body ,our body needs total rest .its very tricky trying to find this balance ,from changing what I read and believe helped me take control back from doctors and make that decision in November .only you can make a decision about your body no one else .

Take great care and guard yourself .

PB


Alcohol free since February 2015 

1MG diazepam

4.5MG PROZAC.

 

 

 

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