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emiiclare

Emiiclare: Did I really have anything wrong?

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emiiclare

Hey guys!

 

I was diagnosed with autism (then eventually PDD nos), bipolar, GAD (generalized anxiety) and fibromyalgia. I have been on anti-depressants since I was 9 and stopped them almost a year ago at age 21. I was on sleeping pills from age 6-20. I also was on like 12 prescribed pain pills because my pain was so bad from age 17-21. I had bad withdrawls from everything (I got my doctor's guidance to safely taper). Turns out my fibro pain that caused me to be unable to barely walk for 4 years was being caused my Abilify pill. I now have no symptoms of any of these things I was diagnosed with. I took 7 years to finish high school because of my anxiety and agoraphobia. The pills seemed to make everything worse because without them I am now I'm full-time university which I never dreamed I could do. It's really hard for me because I wonder if all those years of suffering (especially with my pain and anxiety) were caused by the pills. Anyone have any experience with this?

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KarenB

Oh Emiiclare,

 

Your post could just make me cry.  How are you doing these days?  Obviously able to cope with a fair bit, as you are at Uni.  How is everything else in your life - sleep, pains, anxiety etc?  Have the withdrawals stopped?

 

I don't have experience personally with being wrongly diagnosed as a child, but I have read plenty which suggests it happens far more often than it should.  Such negligent, criminal behaviour for those doctors to so badly over-prescribe. 

 

There is a book called Anatomy of an Epidemic by Robert Whitaker which does a great job of explaining the big picture of psychiatric drugs.  It'll probably make you sad, and angry, (it did for me), but in the end understanding why things have happened can help you to process a bit easier. 

 

I hope you feel less alone here at SA,

Karen

 

 

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emiiclare
36 minutes ago, KarenB said:

Oh Emiiclare,

 

Your post could just make me cry.  How are you doing these days?  Obviously able to cope with a fair bit, as you are at Uni.  How is everything else in your life - sleep, pains, anxiety etc?  Have the withdrawals stopped?

 

I don't have experience personally with being wrongly diagnosed as a child, but I have read plenty which suggests it happens far more often than it should.  Such negligent, criminal behaviour for those doctors to so badly over-prescribe. 

 

There is a book called Anatomy of an Epidemic by Robert Whitaker which does a great job of explaining the big picture of psychiatric drugs.  It'll probably make you sad, and angry, (it did for me), but in the end understanding why things have happened can help you to process a bit easier. 

 

I hope you feel less alone here at SA,

Karen

 

 

Hi Karen!

 

Thanks so much for your reply. It is really helpful to have support from someone who understands. That book sounds great!

 

I am doing better than I ever have. I do think my anxiety was a valid diagnosis since Ive had it since I can remember. My mom told me the other day that I never acted "like a child." She said I always understood everything and noticed things she never even did. I think because of that I thought very differently and felt like an outcast. As a teen I had adult friends, including a brilliant scientist, that took me under their wings. Yet society saw it as something "wrong" and put my on meds that I'd beg my mom to take me off. They made me angry and agitated. I got horrible nightmares, sleep paralysis, weight gain and non-stop migraines. Everyone told my mom that I NEEDED them so I wasn't allowed to stop. It was awful. It makes me sad to think about what I went through (I moved out at 13 and have been on my own ever since) and that it was probably caused by the meds. Also that I was labelled with all these things that didn't define me. I just wanted to be myself. I just needed to vent sorry.

 

Anyway now I'm doing great. I have a good relationship with my parents for the first time, have a loving bf that really helped me though the worst withdrawls (anger, pain, brain zaps etc), a great dog and my anxiety has almost vanished in the past year. Since I've been off my meds, I haven't been depressed, felt any unwarranted physical pain, I have more energy (I cut out caffeine and I used to be on like 5 energy drinks a day), I am exercising daily and have lost weight, I eat healthier, I can think clearly and I can sleep with just guided meditations. I'm like a new person.

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KarenB

Then, even after the sadness of what you've been through, I'm really happy for how well you are feeling now. 

 

Lately I have started working with my local doctor's clinic here in New Zealand, concerning the over-prescription and mis-management of psychiatric drugs.  One of the things we are looking at is finding non-drug pathways for teens who come to their doctor with anxiety etc.  Your story is a very timely and first-hand reminder of why it is so important for other pathways to be provided.

 

Thanks so much for sharing it with us.

 

Karen

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Madeleine

Welcome to the forum.  What a lot of suffering you have gone through! -- but I am so very glad that you have got through it successfully and are now in university. Congratulations and may you have many successes in your academic life and beyond.
With very best wishes,

M.

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TryingToHoldOn

I am so glad that we're able to taper off all your meds!  How are you feeling now?

 

i have a little one who has high functioning autism and I will NEVER ever put him on any kind of medication.  If he needs some intervention it will definitely be addressed holistically (i.e. OT, therapy, social groups, modeling, etc.) 

 

i am going through a horrific WD and cannot imagine a child/teenager having to deal with all of this!

 

i am so proud that you were brace and smart enough to free yourself from these drugs.  You are truly a success story!

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rupa

Dear Emi

How is your sleep quality now?

What about the nightmares,are they disappeared totally?

With what medication your sleep paralysis cured?

 

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