Scorpio Posted July 28, 2017 Author Share Posted July 28, 2017 Hi brass monkey thank you so much yet again for your very kind and inspiring words. I am so grateful to you for your help. I apologise sincerely for rambling about my morbid thoughts but it was, as you say, to show the unreality of the way my brain is working in my very bad times. There would be more chance of me winning the Lottery than jumping into a sea of freezing cold water willingly. Believe me the sea in England even in the middle of summer is beyond cold! Once again you have given me the support to continue this rocky road. 2006 After sudden death of mother put on 20mg of citaloprom for depression. 2014 Drug stopped working after two weeks of panic attacks felt fine. Aug 2014. Doctor put me on lyrica for rash on face, diarrhoea, sleeplessness,muscle cramp, bruising. Initial dose too strong, halved dose. Stopped taking it 22/10/14 2014 severe anxiety after several ssri's attempted, seem to have developed severe sensitivity to any drug, but giving severe reactions put on cipralex drop form.started on 2 drops and had to increase by 1 drop every 3 days. Eventually got to 12 drops and had to stop as side effects every step of the way dreadful. Psychiatrist kept telling me to stick with it and my body would get used to it. Eventually down to 8 drops. Bad reactions throughout the time I was on it Have been on this until may 2017. Stopped over two weeks. Felt fine for 5 weeks after initial dizziness, nightmares, nausea, insomnia. Given diazepam by gp and told to take them when anxiety bad. Have only taken them very rarely as they frighten me. Last two weeks severe anxiety returned and feeling hopeless 11July 2017. Cipralex 2mg. Anxiety, nausea still severe 13 July 2017 Cipralex 1mg due to advice of too high dosage by kind person on thus site. so dropped from 2mg to 1mg and feelings of anxiety still at severe. As well as nausea, headaches, fatigue. 15 July still feeling extremely anxious verging on panic. Nausea, feelings of fainting, fatigue. Lots of head pains 3 August. Three weeks into trying to stabilise on one drop of cipralex. Still have waking from 4am. Sporadic upset stomach. Nausea. High anxiety. Throbbing/burning in nether regions seems to have eased for time being but stabbing/burning in calves of legs. Tinnitus. Occasional half to whole better days but mainly still struggling. Fatigue Link to comment
Scorpio Posted July 28, 2017 Author Share Posted July 28, 2017 Hello powerback thank you for your support and kind words. I will definitely start looking on utube re neuroplastisity and hopefully gain more insight into what is going on with my scrambled brain you are so right in using a change of channel approach. I am lucky to have my daughter and baby grandson living close by. They were with me most of today and even though I had extreme feelings of anxiety etc once that baby is here my mind focuses on him and his funny ways plus stopping him trying to insert fingers etc into any unsuitable space or item. 2006 After sudden death of mother put on 20mg of citaloprom for depression. 2014 Drug stopped working after two weeks of panic attacks felt fine. Aug 2014. Doctor put me on lyrica for rash on face, diarrhoea, sleeplessness,muscle cramp, bruising. Initial dose too strong, halved dose. Stopped taking it 22/10/14 2014 severe anxiety after several ssri's attempted, seem to have developed severe sensitivity to any drug, but giving severe reactions put on cipralex drop form.started on 2 drops and had to increase by 1 drop every 3 days. Eventually got to 12 drops and had to stop as side effects every step of the way dreadful. Psychiatrist kept telling me to stick with it and my body would get used to it. Eventually down to 8 drops. Bad reactions throughout the time I was on it Have been on this until may 2017. Stopped over two weeks. Felt fine for 5 weeks after initial dizziness, nightmares, nausea, insomnia. Given diazepam by gp and told to take them when anxiety bad. Have only taken them very rarely as they frighten me. Last two weeks severe anxiety returned and feeling hopeless 11July 2017. Cipralex 2mg. Anxiety, nausea still severe 13 July 2017 Cipralex 1mg due to advice of too high dosage by kind person on thus site. so dropped from 2mg to 1mg and feelings of anxiety still at severe. As well as nausea, headaches, fatigue. 15 July still feeling extremely anxious verging on panic. Nausea, feelings of fainting, fatigue. Lots of head pains 3 August. Three weeks into trying to stabilise on one drop of cipralex. Still have waking from 4am. Sporadic upset stomach. Nausea. High anxiety. Throbbing/burning in nether regions seems to have eased for time being but stabbing/burning in calves of legs. Tinnitus. Occasional half to whole better days but mainly still struggling. Fatigue Link to comment
AliG Posted July 28, 2017 Share Posted July 28, 2017 (edited) Of course Brass is spot on with his advice. It is a " rocky road " but if you can change the channel whenever you experience negative thoughts it will be very helpful.I also found distraction to be a positive tool. Doing something you enjoy can shift you into a more positive head space. Edited July 29, 2017 by AliG Many SSRI's and SSNRI's over 20 years. Zoloft for 7 years followed by Effexor, Lexapro, Prozac, Cymbalta, Celexa, Pristiq, Valdoxan, Mianserin and more - on and off. No tapering. Cold turkey off Valdoxan - end of May 2014 Psych Drug - free since May 2014 . Link to comment
powerback Posted July 28, 2017 Share Posted July 28, 2017 41 minutes ago, Scorpio said: Hello powerback thank you for your support and kind words. I will definitely start looking on utube re neuroplastisity and hopefully gain more insight into what is going on with my scrambled brain you are so right in using a change of channel approach. I am lucky to have my daughter and baby grandson living close by. They were with me most of today and even though I had extreme feelings of anxiety etc once that baby is here my mind focuses on him and his funny ways plus stopping him trying to insert fingers etc into any unsuitable space or item. your welcome scorpio ,of course we got to recognise the pain ,but being aware when to turn the focus away also ,it can take practice . that's nice you've family near by ,soak all that positive energy up I've made a serious effort to visit my niece since she was born 1.5 years old .and she is a breathe of fresh air ,she will grow up never knowing the joy she's has brought me in a very difficult time .ile cherish them memory's for ever .I even call on them in bad times . Her mam sent me a card for my birthday recently from my niece with pictures of us .and I burst out crying ,all good though . take care and be safe PB Alcohol free since February 2015 1MG diazepam 4.5MG PROZAC. Link to comment
powerback Posted July 28, 2017 Share Posted July 28, 2017 53 minutes ago, Scorpio said: Hello powerback thank you for your support and kind words. I will definitely start looking on utube re neuroplastisity and hopefully gain more insight into what is going on with my scrambled brain you are so right in using a change of channel approach. I am lucky to have my daughter and baby grandson living close by. They were with me most of today and even though I had extreme feelings of anxiety etc once that baby is here my mind focuses on him and his funny ways plus stopping him trying to insert fingers etc into any unsuitable space or item. cant take all the credit for the change the channel wisdom ,I read it on this site a good while ago . Alcohol free since February 2015 1MG diazepam 4.5MG PROZAC. Link to comment
Scorpio Posted July 31, 2017 Author Share Posted July 31, 2017 Hello brass monkey, i am sorry to keep bothering you but still struggling badly, another virtually sleepless night, severe anxiety, nausea, bowel cramping. The weekend saw me curled up in a ball again wishing I could just function. Two and a half weeks on trying to stabilise and very scared that a better life is beyond me. I am supposed to be helping me daughter by looking after my grandson but at the moment I can't even go and wash. I know you have no definitive answers but from your experience can I still hope for better days? 2006 After sudden death of mother put on 20mg of citaloprom for depression. 2014 Drug stopped working after two weeks of panic attacks felt fine. Aug 2014. Doctor put me on lyrica for rash on face, diarrhoea, sleeplessness,muscle cramp, bruising. Initial dose too strong, halved dose. Stopped taking it 22/10/14 2014 severe anxiety after several ssri's attempted, seem to have developed severe sensitivity to any drug, but giving severe reactions put on cipralex drop form.started on 2 drops and had to increase by 1 drop every 3 days. Eventually got to 12 drops and had to stop as side effects every step of the way dreadful. Psychiatrist kept telling me to stick with it and my body would get used to it. Eventually down to 8 drops. Bad reactions throughout the time I was on it Have been on this until may 2017. Stopped over two weeks. Felt fine for 5 weeks after initial dizziness, nightmares, nausea, insomnia. Given diazepam by gp and told to take them when anxiety bad. Have only taken them very rarely as they frighten me. Last two weeks severe anxiety returned and feeling hopeless 11July 2017. Cipralex 2mg. Anxiety, nausea still severe 13 July 2017 Cipralex 1mg due to advice of too high dosage by kind person on thus site. so dropped from 2mg to 1mg and feelings of anxiety still at severe. As well as nausea, headaches, fatigue. 15 July still feeling extremely anxious verging on panic. Nausea, feelings of fainting, fatigue. Lots of head pains 3 August. Three weeks into trying to stabilise on one drop of cipralex. Still have waking from 4am. Sporadic upset stomach. Nausea. High anxiety. Throbbing/burning in nether regions seems to have eased for time being but stabbing/burning in calves of legs. Tinnitus. Occasional half to whole better days but mainly still struggling. Fatigue Link to comment
Terry4949 Posted July 31, 2017 Share Posted July 31, 2017 Hi Scorpio I am sorry you are suffering like this , I am in exactly the same boat and just want this nightmare to end , I was c/t of a few meds 5 months ago and this last month has hit me so hard even though I have been in withdrawel for 3 years , I have that horrible anxiety from the pit of my stomache and feel like I am going to pass out , fatigue and a horrible sense of weakness , can't eat either , I keep searching for answers but realise they are none that can help me only time , I hate the way I feel so I truly no what you are going through , I have those suicidel thoughts that come and go about how I would end all my suffering , they are horrible but it's just part of the withdrawel , I wish I could give you a quick fix but try and stay strong even though it is so hard 2001 to jan 2015 Effexor 150 mg jan 2015 15 mg mirtazapine 20 mg quetiapine feb 2015 quetiapine stopped feb 2015 30 mg of citalopram added feb 2015 mirtazapine increased to 30 mg july 2015 citalopram stopped sept 2015 200mg of pregabalin jan 2017 mirtazapine stopped jan 2017 20 mg fluoxetine march 2017 all meds stopped Link to comment
Scorpio Posted July 31, 2017 Author Share Posted July 31, 2017 Hello terry 4949 thank you so much for your support and I am so sorry you are also suffering this hell. You and me both on the horrible thoughts they dominate my mind for hours at a time. I don't know if you have the same but my stomach starts making all sorts of noises then the anxiety etc hits hard. Always starts either very early hours of morning or when I get up. I have lost even more weight over the past couple of weeks and was already too thin from the past two years of hell. All I want to do is stay curled in a ball as feel unable to cope, do or face anything but I am just about to try and go to my daughters to help with the baby Hopefully it will help me too. Try and stay strong today, I will repost to you this evening to see how you coped with the day. At least we are not on our own and can truly understand what the hell has happened to us since we found this lifeline on here. 2006 After sudden death of mother put on 20mg of citaloprom for depression. 2014 Drug stopped working after two weeks of panic attacks felt fine. Aug 2014. Doctor put me on lyrica for rash on face, diarrhoea, sleeplessness,muscle cramp, bruising. Initial dose too strong, halved dose. Stopped taking it 22/10/14 2014 severe anxiety after several ssri's attempted, seem to have developed severe sensitivity to any drug, but giving severe reactions put on cipralex drop form.started on 2 drops and had to increase by 1 drop every 3 days. Eventually got to 12 drops and had to stop as side effects every step of the way dreadful. Psychiatrist kept telling me to stick with it and my body would get used to it. Eventually down to 8 drops. Bad reactions throughout the time I was on it Have been on this until may 2017. Stopped over two weeks. Felt fine for 5 weeks after initial dizziness, nightmares, nausea, insomnia. Given diazepam by gp and told to take them when anxiety bad. Have only taken them very rarely as they frighten me. Last two weeks severe anxiety returned and feeling hopeless 11July 2017. Cipralex 2mg. Anxiety, nausea still severe 13 July 2017 Cipralex 1mg due to advice of too high dosage by kind person on thus site. so dropped from 2mg to 1mg and feelings of anxiety still at severe. As well as nausea, headaches, fatigue. 15 July still feeling extremely anxious verging on panic. Nausea, feelings of fainting, fatigue. Lots of head pains 3 August. Three weeks into trying to stabilise on one drop of cipralex. Still have waking from 4am. Sporadic upset stomach. Nausea. High anxiety. Throbbing/burning in nether regions seems to have eased for time being but stabbing/burning in calves of legs. Tinnitus. Occasional half to whole better days but mainly still struggling. Fatigue Link to comment
Terry4949 Posted July 31, 2017 Share Posted July 31, 2017 Hi Scorpio thankyou for your reply , like you from the moment I open my eyes the anxiety starts ,all I do is look forward to crawling in bed at night and then it all starts again next day , I think I might have akathesia now I have been of now for 5 months , I have this horrible inner shake and termoil, especially in my legs , its with me all day just can't relax I want to move my muscles all the time , I shake constantly internal drives me mad , I hope you have a better day , god how we need a break , I keep thinking I need some sort of med to help me through but that's a no go , when does it end , doctors c/t have made me so much worse 2001 to jan 2015 Effexor 150 mg jan 2015 15 mg mirtazapine 20 mg quetiapine feb 2015 quetiapine stopped feb 2015 30 mg of citalopram added feb 2015 mirtazapine increased to 30 mg july 2015 citalopram stopped sept 2015 200mg of pregabalin jan 2017 mirtazapine stopped jan 2017 20 mg fluoxetine march 2017 all meds stopped Link to comment
Scorpio Posted July 31, 2017 Author Share Posted July 31, 2017 Hi terry 4949 isnt it awful and no respite to the continuous litany of symptoms. You poor thing I haven't had the shaking yet. I have permanent burning throbbing in the nether regions which is horrible and that is with me day and night. i had nearly five weeks of feeling like me when I came off the cipralex so I know I am in there somewhere just hope I come back. 2006 After sudden death of mother put on 20mg of citaloprom for depression. 2014 Drug stopped working after two weeks of panic attacks felt fine. Aug 2014. Doctor put me on lyrica for rash on face, diarrhoea, sleeplessness,muscle cramp, bruising. Initial dose too strong, halved dose. Stopped taking it 22/10/14 2014 severe anxiety after several ssri's attempted, seem to have developed severe sensitivity to any drug, but giving severe reactions put on cipralex drop form.started on 2 drops and had to increase by 1 drop every 3 days. Eventually got to 12 drops and had to stop as side effects every step of the way dreadful. Psychiatrist kept telling me to stick with it and my body would get used to it. Eventually down to 8 drops. Bad reactions throughout the time I was on it Have been on this until may 2017. Stopped over two weeks. Felt fine for 5 weeks after initial dizziness, nightmares, nausea, insomnia. Given diazepam by gp and told to take them when anxiety bad. Have only taken them very rarely as they frighten me. Last two weeks severe anxiety returned and feeling hopeless 11July 2017. Cipralex 2mg. Anxiety, nausea still severe 13 July 2017 Cipralex 1mg due to advice of too high dosage by kind person on thus site. so dropped from 2mg to 1mg and feelings of anxiety still at severe. As well as nausea, headaches, fatigue. 15 July still feeling extremely anxious verging on panic. Nausea, feelings of fainting, fatigue. Lots of head pains 3 August. Three weeks into trying to stabilise on one drop of cipralex. Still have waking from 4am. Sporadic upset stomach. Nausea. High anxiety. Throbbing/burning in nether regions seems to have eased for time being but stabbing/burning in calves of legs. Tinnitus. Occasional half to whole better days but mainly still struggling. Fatigue Link to comment
Terry4949 Posted July 31, 2017 Share Posted July 31, 2017 Hi Scorpio I have burning skin especially hands and feet , but I generally feel so unwell even to walk round the block makes me feel so sick and faint , I have a terrible heat intolerance ,one minute I am so hot the shivering I have no control over my body temperature , just want to lye down all day feel so weak , I used to be so active but now have no energy, I am so tired all the time but I can't sleep even a nap in the day as my mind won't shut of , the days are so long , do you get depression or is it just anxiety and the feeling of hopelessness 2001 to jan 2015 Effexor 150 mg jan 2015 15 mg mirtazapine 20 mg quetiapine feb 2015 quetiapine stopped feb 2015 30 mg of citalopram added feb 2015 mirtazapine increased to 30 mg july 2015 citalopram stopped sept 2015 200mg of pregabalin jan 2017 mirtazapine stopped jan 2017 20 mg fluoxetine march 2017 all meds stopped Link to comment
ShakeyJerr Posted July 31, 2017 Share Posted July 31, 2017 Scorpio and Terry - I am so sorry you are both suffering in what can only be termed the "early days" of withdrawal. But I want you both to take up hope - you will improve and you will recover. The "burning" you both describe is neuropathic pain. It's caused by your nervous system trying to adjust to the new reality of being off of/tapering the meds. These drugs do a number to our nervous system, and it takes time for the body to heal and adjust. I too had this burning/tingling sensation, as did most of us here on SA. But it will subside. So will your anxiety. Yes, it may take a while. I have experienced waves of anxiety that I thought would destroy me. But that is a trick of the mind - a trick that is triggered by biochemistry. Right now, our nerves are sensitized because our adrenal glands push out too much adrenaline and cortisol. If you allow your mind to accept the fact that this is chemically induced, you will find that you can float through the sensations instead of focusing on them, fretting over them, and trying to fight them. Practice mindful breathing, clean up your diet so as to remove things that trigger your adrenals (caffeine, sugar, white flour, white rice, processed foods), and do not allow your mind to be bluffed by your sensations and emotions. I'm praying for you both! SJ Main thread: http://survivingantidepressants.org/index.php?/topic/14472-shakeyjerr-say-hello/ History: Prozac & Lithium from 1999 to 2003. Ended up back on after 4 months because taking a beta-blocker caused immediate depression (just 2 doses - turned out I didn't even need it; I had no other withdrawal symptoms - I might have ended up med and withdrawal-free otherwise ). - Switched to Effexor (75mg 3/day) and Seroquel (50mg 3/day) in 2010. - Did a self-taper during 2016. - Developed Discontinuation Syndrome 02/17. Supplements: Magnesium-Glycinate 400mg split into 4 100mg doses throughout the day. Vitamin C 500mg - once per day. Fish Oil 1360 mg (950 mg Active Omega-3) - twice per day. I'm not a doctor. I use the internet, experience, and trial & error. Seek medical advice if necessary. Link to comment
Moderator brassmonkey Posted July 31, 2017 Moderator Share Posted July 31, 2017 Hi Scorpio-- It will get better. You're getting hit by a bad wave caused by the dosage adjustments, but it will pass. Right now your main job is just getting through it, minute by minute, hour by hour if necessary. It will seem like an eternity but things will start to settle out and improve. (((((((((((((HUGS)))))))))))) 20 years on Paxil starting at 20mg and working up to 40mg. Sept 2011 started 10% every 6 weeks taper (2.5% every week for 4 weeks then hold for 2 additional weeks), currently at 7.9mg. Oct 2011 CTed 15oz vodka a night, to only drinking 2 beers most nights, totally sober Feb 2013. Since I wrote this I have continued to decrease my dose by 10% every 6 weeks (2.5% every week for 4 weeks and then hold for an additional 2 weeks). I added in an extra 6 week hold when I hit 10mg to let things settle out even more. When I hit 3mgpw it became hard to split the drop into 4 parts so I switched to dropping 1mgpw (pill weight) every week for 3 weeks and then holding for another 3 weeks. The 3 + 3 schedule turned out to be too harsh so I cut back to dropping 1mgpw every 4 weeks which is working better. Final Dose 0.016mg. Current dose 0.000mg 04-15-2017 "It's also important not to become angry, no matter how difficult life is, because you can loose all hope if you can't laugh at yourself and at life in general." Stephen Hawking Link to comment
Scorpio Posted July 31, 2017 Author Share Posted July 31, 2017 Hi shakeyjerr thank you for taking the time once again to try and make us both realise that it is the withdrawal playing these horrible games with our minds and bodies. I do try to take heed of what you say but as I am sure you well know when it is hitting hard you lose sense of anything but the trauma and pain you are experiencing. I will try really hard to remember your words when I am struggling with the crippling anxiety and hopefully it will make it more bearable. 2006 After sudden death of mother put on 20mg of citaloprom for depression. 2014 Drug stopped working after two weeks of panic attacks felt fine. Aug 2014. Doctor put me on lyrica for rash on face, diarrhoea, sleeplessness,muscle cramp, bruising. Initial dose too strong, halved dose. Stopped taking it 22/10/14 2014 severe anxiety after several ssri's attempted, seem to have developed severe sensitivity to any drug, but giving severe reactions put on cipralex drop form.started on 2 drops and had to increase by 1 drop every 3 days. Eventually got to 12 drops and had to stop as side effects every step of the way dreadful. Psychiatrist kept telling me to stick with it and my body would get used to it. Eventually down to 8 drops. Bad reactions throughout the time I was on it Have been on this until may 2017. Stopped over two weeks. Felt fine for 5 weeks after initial dizziness, nightmares, nausea, insomnia. Given diazepam by gp and told to take them when anxiety bad. Have only taken them very rarely as they frighten me. Last two weeks severe anxiety returned and feeling hopeless 11July 2017. Cipralex 2mg. Anxiety, nausea still severe 13 July 2017 Cipralex 1mg due to advice of too high dosage by kind person on thus site. so dropped from 2mg to 1mg and feelings of anxiety still at severe. As well as nausea, headaches, fatigue. 15 July still feeling extremely anxious verging on panic. Nausea, feelings of fainting, fatigue. Lots of head pains 3 August. Three weeks into trying to stabilise on one drop of cipralex. Still have waking from 4am. Sporadic upset stomach. Nausea. High anxiety. Throbbing/burning in nether regions seems to have eased for time being but stabbing/burning in calves of legs. Tinnitus. Occasional half to whole better days but mainly still struggling. Fatigue Link to comment
Scorpio Posted July 31, 2017 Author Share Posted July 31, 2017 Hi brass monkey what would I do without your kind and sensitive words to try and get me through this. I am very well aware you have all been through this nightmare and are speaking from painful experience so I take your encouragement to heart. Thank you and you have once again given me hope and a bit more fighting spirit. 2006 After sudden death of mother put on 20mg of citaloprom for depression. 2014 Drug stopped working after two weeks of panic attacks felt fine. Aug 2014. Doctor put me on lyrica for rash on face, diarrhoea, sleeplessness,muscle cramp, bruising. Initial dose too strong, halved dose. Stopped taking it 22/10/14 2014 severe anxiety after several ssri's attempted, seem to have developed severe sensitivity to any drug, but giving severe reactions put on cipralex drop form.started on 2 drops and had to increase by 1 drop every 3 days. Eventually got to 12 drops and had to stop as side effects every step of the way dreadful. Psychiatrist kept telling me to stick with it and my body would get used to it. Eventually down to 8 drops. Bad reactions throughout the time I was on it Have been on this until may 2017. Stopped over two weeks. Felt fine for 5 weeks after initial dizziness, nightmares, nausea, insomnia. Given diazepam by gp and told to take them when anxiety bad. Have only taken them very rarely as they frighten me. Last two weeks severe anxiety returned and feeling hopeless 11July 2017. Cipralex 2mg. Anxiety, nausea still severe 13 July 2017 Cipralex 1mg due to advice of too high dosage by kind person on thus site. so dropped from 2mg to 1mg and feelings of anxiety still at severe. As well as nausea, headaches, fatigue. 15 July still feeling extremely anxious verging on panic. Nausea, feelings of fainting, fatigue. Lots of head pains 3 August. Three weeks into trying to stabilise on one drop of cipralex. Still have waking from 4am. Sporadic upset stomach. Nausea. High anxiety. Throbbing/burning in nether regions seems to have eased for time being but stabbing/burning in calves of legs. Tinnitus. Occasional half to whole better days but mainly still struggling. Fatigue Link to comment
Scorpio Posted July 31, 2017 Author Share Posted July 31, 2017 Hello terry 4949 how did you cope with the day? Its evening now and I managed to get to my daughters but did very little to help just sat like a zombie feeling awful. The baby is 8 months so once awake demands attention which I had to concentrate on so took my mind off my problems. They came back here this afternoon and I looked after the baby while my daughter did shopping and then we all had dinner. I am now on the settee hopefully to get a little relief from the rotten symptoms as it's evening and they always seem to lessen for a few thankful hours, i have become very emotional over the last few weeks, desperately sad or hopeless. It was depression from the death of my mother in 2006 that sent me on this rocky road. It is anxiety that developed after citaloprom pooped in 2014 that I have had the worst time with. I also get the fatigue that leaves me unable to do anything. I also was a very active, social, outgoing woman who loved life. Now I can't make any commitments to anyone because I never know if I am going to be able to face anyone let alone talk on the phone. My heart goes out to my husband and daughter who for two years couldn't work out what was going on. I too get the burning on my feet and ankles. I hope your day was manageable and am thinking of you. 2006 After sudden death of mother put on 20mg of citaloprom for depression. 2014 Drug stopped working after two weeks of panic attacks felt fine. Aug 2014. Doctor put me on lyrica for rash on face, diarrhoea, sleeplessness,muscle cramp, bruising. Initial dose too strong, halved dose. Stopped taking it 22/10/14 2014 severe anxiety after several ssri's attempted, seem to have developed severe sensitivity to any drug, but giving severe reactions put on cipralex drop form.started on 2 drops and had to increase by 1 drop every 3 days. Eventually got to 12 drops and had to stop as side effects every step of the way dreadful. Psychiatrist kept telling me to stick with it and my body would get used to it. Eventually down to 8 drops. Bad reactions throughout the time I was on it Have been on this until may 2017. Stopped over two weeks. Felt fine for 5 weeks after initial dizziness, nightmares, nausea, insomnia. Given diazepam by gp and told to take them when anxiety bad. Have only taken them very rarely as they frighten me. Last two weeks severe anxiety returned and feeling hopeless 11July 2017. Cipralex 2mg. Anxiety, nausea still severe 13 July 2017 Cipralex 1mg due to advice of too high dosage by kind person on thus site. so dropped from 2mg to 1mg and feelings of anxiety still at severe. As well as nausea, headaches, fatigue. 15 July still feeling extremely anxious verging on panic. Nausea, feelings of fainting, fatigue. Lots of head pains 3 August. Three weeks into trying to stabilise on one drop of cipralex. Still have waking from 4am. Sporadic upset stomach. Nausea. High anxiety. Throbbing/burning in nether regions seems to have eased for time being but stabbing/burning in calves of legs. Tinnitus. Occasional half to whole better days but mainly still struggling. Fatigue Link to comment
Terry4949 Posted July 31, 2017 Share Posted July 31, 2017 Hi Scorpio not really done much today as I have felt so bad , I walked my dogs today and that's about it but even that made me feel so ill , have managed to eat a little today , I used to get a rest bite in the evenings from the anxiety but just lately it has been 24/7 . I to have very emotional today and hopeless , I even had a thought about just doing away with myself and save all this suffering , I honestly don't know how I am going to get through this , I look at my first post on here in Jan 2016 and think it's the end of July 2017 and I am still suffering nothing has changed only got worse thanks to the c/t , I wish I could go back and do it real slow but that was taken away from me , I think it is a lot harder to heal if you ever do from a c/t. I was supposed to go on a cruise last October but couldn't go as I was so,I'll so my daughter went instead , so I booked another one for September this year all payed for but I don't think I will be going as I feel worse than I did last year , life sucks , I hope you have a more relaxed evening and manage to sleep well 2001 to jan 2015 Effexor 150 mg jan 2015 15 mg mirtazapine 20 mg quetiapine feb 2015 quetiapine stopped feb 2015 30 mg of citalopram added feb 2015 mirtazapine increased to 30 mg july 2015 citalopram stopped sept 2015 200mg of pregabalin jan 2017 mirtazapine stopped jan 2017 20 mg fluoxetine march 2017 all meds stopped Link to comment
Scorpio Posted July 31, 2017 Author Share Posted July 31, 2017 Hi terry4949 i am sorry you have had a bad day but the good thing is that even though you felt so ill you did manage to walk your dogs and you ate a little - two good things. We both said this morning about those morbid thoughts that keep entering our heads and we both now know it is the w/d not us. Same as the anxiety. Maybe if we can both try and keep saying to ourselves it is our brains readjusting to normal that is causing this we maybe able to fight it a little better plus concentrating on breathing. I have put my husband and also my daughter through bad times on holidays overs the past two years that were booked when I was in a brief window to be in a wave when it was time to go. Holed up in a hotel bedroom unable to go to anywhere for days of the holidays have been hell on all of us. But on some of the days I was able to get out and enjoy it. We are due to go away in September and I am dreading what will happen. Tomorrow is another day let's hope it is a better one. 2006 After sudden death of mother put on 20mg of citaloprom for depression. 2014 Drug stopped working after two weeks of panic attacks felt fine. Aug 2014. Doctor put me on lyrica for rash on face, diarrhoea, sleeplessness,muscle cramp, bruising. Initial dose too strong, halved dose. Stopped taking it 22/10/14 2014 severe anxiety after several ssri's attempted, seem to have developed severe sensitivity to any drug, but giving severe reactions put on cipralex drop form.started on 2 drops and had to increase by 1 drop every 3 days. Eventually got to 12 drops and had to stop as side effects every step of the way dreadful. Psychiatrist kept telling me to stick with it and my body would get used to it. Eventually down to 8 drops. Bad reactions throughout the time I was on it Have been on this until may 2017. Stopped over two weeks. Felt fine for 5 weeks after initial dizziness, nightmares, nausea, insomnia. Given diazepam by gp and told to take them when anxiety bad. Have only taken them very rarely as they frighten me. Last two weeks severe anxiety returned and feeling hopeless 11July 2017. Cipralex 2mg. Anxiety, nausea still severe 13 July 2017 Cipralex 1mg due to advice of too high dosage by kind person on thus site. so dropped from 2mg to 1mg and feelings of anxiety still at severe. As well as nausea, headaches, fatigue. 15 July still feeling extremely anxious verging on panic. Nausea, feelings of fainting, fatigue. Lots of head pains 3 August. Three weeks into trying to stabilise on one drop of cipralex. Still have waking from 4am. Sporadic upset stomach. Nausea. High anxiety. Throbbing/burning in nether regions seems to have eased for time being but stabbing/burning in calves of legs. Tinnitus. Occasional half to whole better days but mainly still struggling. Fatigue Link to comment
powerback Posted July 31, 2017 Share Posted July 31, 2017 30 minutes ago, Scorpio said: Hi terry4949 i am sorry you have had a bad day but the good thing is that even though you felt so ill you did manage to walk your dogs and you ate a little - two good things. We both said this morning about those morbid thoughts that keep entering our heads and we both now know it is the w/d not us. Same as the anxiety. Maybe if we can both try and keep saying to ourselves it is our brains readjusting to normal that is causing this we maybe able to fight it a little better plus concentrating on breathing. I have put my husband and also my daughter through bad times on holidays overs the past two years that were booked when I was in a brief window to be in a wave when it was time to go. Holed up in a hotel bedroom unable to go to anywhere for days of the holidays have been hell on all of us. But on some of the days I was able to get out and enjoy it. We are due to go away in September and I am dreading what will happen. Tomorrow is another day let's hope it is a better one. i can so relate about the windows and holidays ,but you know what Scorpio ,haven't we tried ,that shows an awful lot of determination ,also have something coming up in September ,but ile draw on the other times that I've pulled through it .and if i have to rest then so be it .we have to practice non drug techniques all the time . peace to all of us that suffer PB Alcohol free since February 2015 1MG diazepam 4.5MG PROZAC. Link to comment
powerback Posted July 31, 2017 Share Posted July 31, 2017 IM routing for you terry such pain to suffer . hoping peace and recovery for you . we will walk through hell together . my little night time window is even making me feel guilty seeing others suffer . peace PB Alcohol free since February 2015 1MG diazepam 4.5MG PROZAC. Link to comment
Scorpio Posted July 31, 2017 Author Share Posted July 31, 2017 Hello powerback yes it does show we have amazing strength that we would never have known we had if we hadn't had to go through this hell. I'm sure whoever we are on holiday with want us to be with them no matter what state we are in at the time than to not have us there at all. We will all come out of this stronger and kinder, compassionate people. 2006 After sudden death of mother put on 20mg of citaloprom for depression. 2014 Drug stopped working after two weeks of panic attacks felt fine. Aug 2014. Doctor put me on lyrica for rash on face, diarrhoea, sleeplessness,muscle cramp, bruising. Initial dose too strong, halved dose. Stopped taking it 22/10/14 2014 severe anxiety after several ssri's attempted, seem to have developed severe sensitivity to any drug, but giving severe reactions put on cipralex drop form.started on 2 drops and had to increase by 1 drop every 3 days. Eventually got to 12 drops and had to stop as side effects every step of the way dreadful. Psychiatrist kept telling me to stick with it and my body would get used to it. Eventually down to 8 drops. Bad reactions throughout the time I was on it Have been on this until may 2017. Stopped over two weeks. Felt fine for 5 weeks after initial dizziness, nightmares, nausea, insomnia. Given diazepam by gp and told to take them when anxiety bad. Have only taken them very rarely as they frighten me. Last two weeks severe anxiety returned and feeling hopeless 11July 2017. Cipralex 2mg. Anxiety, nausea still severe 13 July 2017 Cipralex 1mg due to advice of too high dosage by kind person on thus site. so dropped from 2mg to 1mg and feelings of anxiety still at severe. As well as nausea, headaches, fatigue. 15 July still feeling extremely anxious verging on panic. Nausea, feelings of fainting, fatigue. Lots of head pains 3 August. Three weeks into trying to stabilise on one drop of cipralex. Still have waking from 4am. Sporadic upset stomach. Nausea. High anxiety. Throbbing/burning in nether regions seems to have eased for time being but stabbing/burning in calves of legs. Tinnitus. Occasional half to whole better days but mainly still struggling. Fatigue Link to comment
powerback Posted July 31, 2017 Share Posted July 31, 2017 6 minutes ago, Scorpio said: Hello powerback yes it does show we have amazing strength that we would never have known we had if we hadn't had to go through this hell. I'm sure whoever we are on holiday with want us to be with them no matter what state we are in at the time than to not have us there at all. We will all come out of this stronger and kinder, compassionate people. without question we will .we can look forward to the normal things to complain about Alcohol free since February 2015 1MG diazepam 4.5MG PROZAC. Link to comment
Scorpio Posted August 4, 2017 Author Share Posted August 4, 2017 Hello brass monkey i am sorry to bother you yet again but I am still in trouble. After my message on Monday, Tuesday seemed a little better I took an interest in life and was able to do something's. Wednesday I started high anxiety, nausea, tinnitus and horrible burning/stabbing in my calves. Yesterday I just wanted to sleep, cry, and still had the other symptoms. I slept from 10pm last night until 5.30 but cannot get out of bed, sleeping waking and sleeping again as though I have been sedated. When awake the nausea, tinnitus, empty feelings, milder anxiety, lethargy, is raging. I cannot make myself get up or do any of the simple chores. The pains in my legs seem to have eased. it is now three weeks since I started to restabilise and life is still hell. I am letting everyone down by not even being able to make a sandwich for my husband when he comes home at lunchtime from work. Do I have a hope this will get better still? 2006 After sudden death of mother put on 20mg of citaloprom for depression. 2014 Drug stopped working after two weeks of panic attacks felt fine. Aug 2014. Doctor put me on lyrica for rash on face, diarrhoea, sleeplessness,muscle cramp, bruising. Initial dose too strong, halved dose. Stopped taking it 22/10/14 2014 severe anxiety after several ssri's attempted, seem to have developed severe sensitivity to any drug, but giving severe reactions put on cipralex drop form.started on 2 drops and had to increase by 1 drop every 3 days. Eventually got to 12 drops and had to stop as side effects every step of the way dreadful. Psychiatrist kept telling me to stick with it and my body would get used to it. Eventually down to 8 drops. Bad reactions throughout the time I was on it Have been on this until may 2017. Stopped over two weeks. Felt fine for 5 weeks after initial dizziness, nightmares, nausea, insomnia. Given diazepam by gp and told to take them when anxiety bad. Have only taken them very rarely as they frighten me. Last two weeks severe anxiety returned and feeling hopeless 11July 2017. Cipralex 2mg. Anxiety, nausea still severe 13 July 2017 Cipralex 1mg due to advice of too high dosage by kind person on thus site. so dropped from 2mg to 1mg and feelings of anxiety still at severe. As well as nausea, headaches, fatigue. 15 July still feeling extremely anxious verging on panic. Nausea, feelings of fainting, fatigue. Lots of head pains 3 August. Three weeks into trying to stabilise on one drop of cipralex. Still have waking from 4am. Sporadic upset stomach. Nausea. High anxiety. Throbbing/burning in nether regions seems to have eased for time being but stabbing/burning in calves of legs. Tinnitus. Occasional half to whole better days but mainly still struggling. Fatigue Link to comment
powerback Posted August 4, 2017 Share Posted August 4, 2017 11 minutes ago, Scorpio said: Hello brass monkey i am sorry to bother you yet again but I am still in trouble. After my message on Monday, Tuesday seemed a little better I took an interest in life and was able to do something's. Wednesday I started high anxiety, nausea, tinnitus and horrible burning/stabbing in my calves. Yesterday I just wanted to sleep, cry, and still had the other symptoms. I slept from 10pm last night until 5.30 but cannot get out of bed, sleeping waking and sleeping again as though I have been sedated. When awake the nausea, tinnitus, empty feelings, milder anxiety, lethargy, is raging. I cannot make myself get up or do any of the simple chores. The pains in my legs seem to have eased. it is now three weeks since I started to restabilise and life is still hell. I am letting everyone down by not even being able to make a sandwich for my husband when he comes home at lunchtime from work. Do I have a hope this will get better still? Please be watchful of the guilt creeping in scorpio ,if you need to rest don't fight it ,it really goes against us .last week I had a day in bed all day ,I got up in the evening and went to the shops to get food and I was relaxed walking around ,we need to learn to just give in sometimes . I had a terrible day yesterday ,today is better so never give in . PB Alcohol free since February 2015 1MG diazepam 4.5MG PROZAC. Link to comment
Scorpio Posted August 4, 2017 Author Share Posted August 4, 2017 Hello powerback thank you for your kind words especially when you are suffering. I feel dreadful as though I am letting everyone down. Haven't been able to do anything for most of this week and my poor husband has had two years of me struggling the tiredness is overwhelming and I am going to do as you say and have a second day just sleeping and achieving nothing. 2006 After sudden death of mother put on 20mg of citaloprom for depression. 2014 Drug stopped working after two weeks of panic attacks felt fine. Aug 2014. Doctor put me on lyrica for rash on face, diarrhoea, sleeplessness,muscle cramp, bruising. Initial dose too strong, halved dose. Stopped taking it 22/10/14 2014 severe anxiety after several ssri's attempted, seem to have developed severe sensitivity to any drug, but giving severe reactions put on cipralex drop form.started on 2 drops and had to increase by 1 drop every 3 days. Eventually got to 12 drops and had to stop as side effects every step of the way dreadful. Psychiatrist kept telling me to stick with it and my body would get used to it. Eventually down to 8 drops. Bad reactions throughout the time I was on it Have been on this until may 2017. Stopped over two weeks. Felt fine for 5 weeks after initial dizziness, nightmares, nausea, insomnia. Given diazepam by gp and told to take them when anxiety bad. Have only taken them very rarely as they frighten me. Last two weeks severe anxiety returned and feeling hopeless 11July 2017. Cipralex 2mg. Anxiety, nausea still severe 13 July 2017 Cipralex 1mg due to advice of too high dosage by kind person on thus site. so dropped from 2mg to 1mg and feelings of anxiety still at severe. As well as nausea, headaches, fatigue. 15 July still feeling extremely anxious verging on panic. Nausea, feelings of fainting, fatigue. Lots of head pains 3 August. Three weeks into trying to stabilise on one drop of cipralex. Still have waking from 4am. Sporadic upset stomach. Nausea. High anxiety. Throbbing/burning in nether regions seems to have eased for time being but stabbing/burning in calves of legs. Tinnitus. Occasional half to whole better days but mainly still struggling. Fatigue Link to comment
Moderator brassmonkey Posted August 4, 2017 Moderator Share Posted August 4, 2017 Hi Scorpio-- I sorry to read that you're still in the thick of a bad wave. If there's one nice thing about waves, it's the fact that they do pass, and this one will. I don't want to trivialize the pain you've been in for the past three weeks, but in the overall scheme of ADWD that's not very long at all. When we talk about things "taking a while" or "you need to wait a bit longer" we're usually talking in terms of months, not days and weeks. This is a frustratingly slow process, which requires the patience of a saint and more. That patience does get rewarded in the end. There are some very good threads on the Symptoms and Selfcare Forum for techniques on coping with the process. By it's nature psychic drug use is a very personal and individual thing that can have big repercussions for those around us. The same is true for ADWD. It's happening to the individual while those around us have to suffer the fallout. ADWD, by its nature must be a very selfish experience. Our mind, our very being is basically fighting for its existence. No one and very little from the outside can help, as it's an internal battle that only the individual can experience. To survive it, that individual must withdraw into themselves and concentrate their energies there. It can be a real test of relationships and understanding, but if their energy is not inwardly directed the fight can be dragged out for a much longer time. We are taught all our lives to be selfless and helpful to others, but this is one of those times when we should be selfish and needy. Be kind to yourself and allow others to take care of you. ((((((((((((((((((HUGS))))))))))))))) Brass 20 years on Paxil starting at 20mg and working up to 40mg. Sept 2011 started 10% every 6 weeks taper (2.5% every week for 4 weeks then hold for 2 additional weeks), currently at 7.9mg. Oct 2011 CTed 15oz vodka a night, to only drinking 2 beers most nights, totally sober Feb 2013. Since I wrote this I have continued to decrease my dose by 10% every 6 weeks (2.5% every week for 4 weeks and then hold for an additional 2 weeks). I added in an extra 6 week hold when I hit 10mg to let things settle out even more. When I hit 3mgpw it became hard to split the drop into 4 parts so I switched to dropping 1mgpw (pill weight) every week for 3 weeks and then holding for another 3 weeks. The 3 + 3 schedule turned out to be too harsh so I cut back to dropping 1mgpw every 4 weeks which is working better. Final Dose 0.016mg. Current dose 0.000mg 04-15-2017 "It's also important not to become angry, no matter how difficult life is, because you can loose all hope if you can't laugh at yourself and at life in general." Stephen Hawking Link to comment
Scorpio Posted August 4, 2017 Author Share Posted August 4, 2017 Hi brass monkey what can I say, I owe you big time for putting things into perspective for me every time I panic and whinge. Everything you say makes sense and I have to learn to hold onto these sensible words. After two years nearly of suffering with cipralex with only few and far windows it seems as though I have been in this state for so long and to get those few short wonderful weeks when I first came off made me realise how much of me was lost. I have added further info on my signature as well, whilst laying in my bed this morning, lyrica popped into my head and how it was the first drug given to me when the rash etc initially started. I was told it was non addictive and could stop at any time. From reading the topics on here it would appear the dr had it wrong again which caused my rapid decline. Thank you so much for being a guiding light for me when I fully appreciate you have your own demons to contend with. I will stick with the one drop and hope it will eventually settle. 2006 After sudden death of mother put on 20mg of citaloprom for depression. 2014 Drug stopped working after two weeks of panic attacks felt fine. Aug 2014. Doctor put me on lyrica for rash on face, diarrhoea, sleeplessness,muscle cramp, bruising. Initial dose too strong, halved dose. Stopped taking it 22/10/14 2014 severe anxiety after several ssri's attempted, seem to have developed severe sensitivity to any drug, but giving severe reactions put on cipralex drop form.started on 2 drops and had to increase by 1 drop every 3 days. Eventually got to 12 drops and had to stop as side effects every step of the way dreadful. Psychiatrist kept telling me to stick with it and my body would get used to it. Eventually down to 8 drops. Bad reactions throughout the time I was on it Have been on this until may 2017. Stopped over two weeks. Felt fine for 5 weeks after initial dizziness, nightmares, nausea, insomnia. Given diazepam by gp and told to take them when anxiety bad. Have only taken them very rarely as they frighten me. Last two weeks severe anxiety returned and feeling hopeless 11July 2017. Cipralex 2mg. Anxiety, nausea still severe 13 July 2017 Cipralex 1mg due to advice of too high dosage by kind person on thus site. so dropped from 2mg to 1mg and feelings of anxiety still at severe. As well as nausea, headaches, fatigue. 15 July still feeling extremely anxious verging on panic. Nausea, feelings of fainting, fatigue. Lots of head pains 3 August. Three weeks into trying to stabilise on one drop of cipralex. Still have waking from 4am. Sporadic upset stomach. Nausea. High anxiety. Throbbing/burning in nether regions seems to have eased for time being but stabbing/burning in calves of legs. Tinnitus. Occasional half to whole better days but mainly still struggling. Fatigue Link to comment
Scorpio Posted August 21, 2017 Author Share Posted August 21, 2017 Hello brass monkey im sorry but desperate again. Have followed your advice and given in to the wave just trying to get through it. I tried quarter of teaspoon of calms magnesium which for a couple of days took the anxiety and lethargy away then seemed to have no effect. Last Wednesday feeling not too bad went with my daughter to get baby weighed when a woman working there advised seeing dr about hypermobility which really impacted on my chest felt tighten etc. Since then been absolutely dreadful. Extreme mind numbing anxiety, nausea, stomach, tinnitus, fatigue, sleepless nights again. The fact that the cipralex gave me such a bad time for the two years whilst on it although the windows were getting longer and more frequent towards the end frightens me that I won't stabilise on the one drop. My husband, at the end of his tether, is begging me to see a doctor as he doesn't know how to help and of course his life is seriously impacted by this as well. 'I realise people are probably in a far worse state than me but I'm so frightened. 2006 After sudden death of mother put on 20mg of citaloprom for depression. 2014 Drug stopped working after two weeks of panic attacks felt fine. Aug 2014. Doctor put me on lyrica for rash on face, diarrhoea, sleeplessness,muscle cramp, bruising. Initial dose too strong, halved dose. Stopped taking it 22/10/14 2014 severe anxiety after several ssri's attempted, seem to have developed severe sensitivity to any drug, but giving severe reactions put on cipralex drop form.started on 2 drops and had to increase by 1 drop every 3 days. Eventually got to 12 drops and had to stop as side effects every step of the way dreadful. Psychiatrist kept telling me to stick with it and my body would get used to it. Eventually down to 8 drops. Bad reactions throughout the time I was on it Have been on this until may 2017. Stopped over two weeks. Felt fine for 5 weeks after initial dizziness, nightmares, nausea, insomnia. Given diazepam by gp and told to take them when anxiety bad. Have only taken them very rarely as they frighten me. Last two weeks severe anxiety returned and feeling hopeless 11July 2017. Cipralex 2mg. Anxiety, nausea still severe 13 July 2017 Cipralex 1mg due to advice of too high dosage by kind person on thus site. so dropped from 2mg to 1mg and feelings of anxiety still at severe. As well as nausea, headaches, fatigue. 15 July still feeling extremely anxious verging on panic. Nausea, feelings of fainting, fatigue. Lots of head pains 3 August. Three weeks into trying to stabilise on one drop of cipralex. Still have waking from 4am. Sporadic upset stomach. Nausea. High anxiety. Throbbing/burning in nether regions seems to have eased for time being but stabbing/burning in calves of legs. Tinnitus. Occasional half to whole better days but mainly still struggling. Fatigue Link to comment
Moderator brassmonkey Posted August 22, 2017 Moderator Share Posted August 22, 2017 I'm sorry to hear that things have gone south so badly. WD is such a touchy balancing act. It seems that the treatment you took threw that balance off and tripped off a wave. I would hold everything constant for a while to let things settle out. Being scared of what has happened is a natural response, but not necessary. It's very hard to admit that any little thing can have such a painful affect and the fear comes from not knowing what will set things off and how bad they will be. What we are left with is the belief that things will get better given time. We have to use that belief to quench the fear and help us make it through. This is a wave that was set off by a good intention and it will sort itself out. I totally understand what your husband is going through. Monica (DW) went through several years of pain fighting with a displaces stomach and heart. I was beside my self the entire time because there was nothing I could do. It finally all got sorted and she's fine. But it was a very rough several years. Reassuring him and thanking him for being there can go a really long ways. As will understanding that his shortness is caused by being powerless and watching someone he loves suffer. Working together, communicating as much as possible and acceptance are needed on both parts as you work the problem as a team. Have you gotten him on here to read out information? ((((((((((((((((((HUGS))))))))))))))) Brass 20 years on Paxil starting at 20mg and working up to 40mg. Sept 2011 started 10% every 6 weeks taper (2.5% every week for 4 weeks then hold for 2 additional weeks), currently at 7.9mg. Oct 2011 CTed 15oz vodka a night, to only drinking 2 beers most nights, totally sober Feb 2013. Since I wrote this I have continued to decrease my dose by 10% every 6 weeks (2.5% every week for 4 weeks and then hold for an additional 2 weeks). I added in an extra 6 week hold when I hit 10mg to let things settle out even more. When I hit 3mgpw it became hard to split the drop into 4 parts so I switched to dropping 1mgpw (pill weight) every week for 3 weeks and then holding for another 3 weeks. The 3 + 3 schedule turned out to be too harsh so I cut back to dropping 1mgpw every 4 weeks which is working better. Final Dose 0.016mg. Current dose 0.000mg 04-15-2017 "It's also important not to become angry, no matter how difficult life is, because you can loose all hope if you can't laugh at yourself and at life in general." Stephen Hawking Link to comment
Scorpio Posted August 22, 2017 Author Share Posted August 22, 2017 Hello brass monkey thank you for your reply. I understand everything you say but having been awake since 4again with terrible anxiety. Hot sweats etc I am so frightened. I have been nearly 5 weeks on this one drop of cipralex and admittedly have had a few better days but whether it is because of the stress of decorators and other things not letting me just 'be quiet' and relax calmly that is causing this awful relapse again or whether I am just making it worse with taking the one drop I don't know. Is it better to keep taking the one drop and just hope it will eventually stabilise to at least live half a life instead of this agony. 2006 After sudden death of mother put on 20mg of citaloprom for depression. 2014 Drug stopped working after two weeks of panic attacks felt fine. Aug 2014. Doctor put me on lyrica for rash on face, diarrhoea, sleeplessness,muscle cramp, bruising. Initial dose too strong, halved dose. Stopped taking it 22/10/14 2014 severe anxiety after several ssri's attempted, seem to have developed severe sensitivity to any drug, but giving severe reactions put on cipralex drop form.started on 2 drops and had to increase by 1 drop every 3 days. Eventually got to 12 drops and had to stop as side effects every step of the way dreadful. Psychiatrist kept telling me to stick with it and my body would get used to it. Eventually down to 8 drops. Bad reactions throughout the time I was on it Have been on this until may 2017. Stopped over two weeks. Felt fine for 5 weeks after initial dizziness, nightmares, nausea, insomnia. Given diazepam by gp and told to take them when anxiety bad. Have only taken them very rarely as they frighten me. Last two weeks severe anxiety returned and feeling hopeless 11July 2017. Cipralex 2mg. Anxiety, nausea still severe 13 July 2017 Cipralex 1mg due to advice of too high dosage by kind person on thus site. so dropped from 2mg to 1mg and feelings of anxiety still at severe. As well as nausea, headaches, fatigue. 15 July still feeling extremely anxious verging on panic. Nausea, feelings of fainting, fatigue. Lots of head pains 3 August. Three weeks into trying to stabilise on one drop of cipralex. Still have waking from 4am. Sporadic upset stomach. Nausea. High anxiety. Throbbing/burning in nether regions seems to have eased for time being but stabbing/burning in calves of legs. Tinnitus. Occasional half to whole better days but mainly still struggling. Fatigue Link to comment
Moderator brassmonkey Posted August 22, 2017 Moderator Share Posted August 22, 2017 Having been going through a remodel for the past year I know for a fact that you can blame a lot of it on the decorators not giving you a chance to relax. I would keep everything as steady as possible, use every chance possible to relax and other than that just "let it go". Unless something actually is important IRL and you have some control over it, then it's not worth the time and energy to worry about it and should be dropped from your mind. Handle what needs to be handled with the decorators, eat, drink, sleep and wash. Other than that it's not important. Get through as best as you can until your life settles down, then allow yourself a real break. Things will eventually stabilize and you'll be back on track. (((((((((((((((((((((HUGS)))))))))))))))))))) Brass 20 years on Paxil starting at 20mg and working up to 40mg. Sept 2011 started 10% every 6 weeks taper (2.5% every week for 4 weeks then hold for 2 additional weeks), currently at 7.9mg. Oct 2011 CTed 15oz vodka a night, to only drinking 2 beers most nights, totally sober Feb 2013. Since I wrote this I have continued to decrease my dose by 10% every 6 weeks (2.5% every week for 4 weeks and then hold for an additional 2 weeks). I added in an extra 6 week hold when I hit 10mg to let things settle out even more. When I hit 3mgpw it became hard to split the drop into 4 parts so I switched to dropping 1mgpw (pill weight) every week for 3 weeks and then holding for another 3 weeks. The 3 + 3 schedule turned out to be too harsh so I cut back to dropping 1mgpw every 4 weeks which is working better. Final Dose 0.016mg. Current dose 0.000mg 04-15-2017 "It's also important not to become angry, no matter how difficult life is, because you can loose all hope if you can't laugh at yourself and at life in general." Stephen Hawking Link to comment
Scorpio Posted August 22, 2017 Author Share Posted August 22, 2017 Thank you brass monkey again. Life is such hell at the moment it is hard to see a way through. The anxiety is through the roof without all the other symptoms. Your words give me hope to try and keep fighting. Thank you. 2006 After sudden death of mother put on 20mg of citaloprom for depression. 2014 Drug stopped working after two weeks of panic attacks felt fine. Aug 2014. Doctor put me on lyrica for rash on face, diarrhoea, sleeplessness,muscle cramp, bruising. Initial dose too strong, halved dose. Stopped taking it 22/10/14 2014 severe anxiety after several ssri's attempted, seem to have developed severe sensitivity to any drug, but giving severe reactions put on cipralex drop form.started on 2 drops and had to increase by 1 drop every 3 days. Eventually got to 12 drops and had to stop as side effects every step of the way dreadful. Psychiatrist kept telling me to stick with it and my body would get used to it. Eventually down to 8 drops. Bad reactions throughout the time I was on it Have been on this until may 2017. Stopped over two weeks. Felt fine for 5 weeks after initial dizziness, nightmares, nausea, insomnia. Given diazepam by gp and told to take them when anxiety bad. Have only taken them very rarely as they frighten me. Last two weeks severe anxiety returned and feeling hopeless 11July 2017. Cipralex 2mg. Anxiety, nausea still severe 13 July 2017 Cipralex 1mg due to advice of too high dosage by kind person on thus site. so dropped from 2mg to 1mg and feelings of anxiety still at severe. As well as nausea, headaches, fatigue. 15 July still feeling extremely anxious verging on panic. Nausea, feelings of fainting, fatigue. Lots of head pains 3 August. Three weeks into trying to stabilise on one drop of cipralex. Still have waking from 4am. Sporadic upset stomach. Nausea. High anxiety. Throbbing/burning in nether regions seems to have eased for time being but stabbing/burning in calves of legs. Tinnitus. Occasional half to whole better days but mainly still struggling. Fatigue Link to comment
powerback Posted August 22, 2017 Share Posted August 22, 2017 5 minutes ago, Scorpio said: Thank you brass monkey again. Life is such hell at the moment it is hard to see a way through. The anxiety is through the roof without all the other symptoms. Your words give me hope to try and keep fighting. Thank you. Wel walk through hell together scorpio,im terrified myself ,loads of deep breathing and healthy nutrition is my bet Alcohol free since February 2015 1MG diazepam 4.5MG PROZAC. Link to comment
Scorpio Posted August 22, 2017 Author Share Posted August 22, 2017 Thank you power back. My life hardly seems worth fighting for but I have so much to live for! I can't even make myself eat today just water. 2006 After sudden death of mother put on 20mg of citaloprom for depression. 2014 Drug stopped working after two weeks of panic attacks felt fine. Aug 2014. Doctor put me on lyrica for rash on face, diarrhoea, sleeplessness,muscle cramp, bruising. Initial dose too strong, halved dose. Stopped taking it 22/10/14 2014 severe anxiety after several ssri's attempted, seem to have developed severe sensitivity to any drug, but giving severe reactions put on cipralex drop form.started on 2 drops and had to increase by 1 drop every 3 days. Eventually got to 12 drops and had to stop as side effects every step of the way dreadful. Psychiatrist kept telling me to stick with it and my body would get used to it. Eventually down to 8 drops. Bad reactions throughout the time I was on it Have been on this until may 2017. Stopped over two weeks. Felt fine for 5 weeks after initial dizziness, nightmares, nausea, insomnia. Given diazepam by gp and told to take them when anxiety bad. Have only taken them very rarely as they frighten me. Last two weeks severe anxiety returned and feeling hopeless 11July 2017. Cipralex 2mg. Anxiety, nausea still severe 13 July 2017 Cipralex 1mg due to advice of too high dosage by kind person on thus site. so dropped from 2mg to 1mg and feelings of anxiety still at severe. As well as nausea, headaches, fatigue. 15 July still feeling extremely anxious verging on panic. Nausea, feelings of fainting, fatigue. Lots of head pains 3 August. Three weeks into trying to stabilise on one drop of cipralex. Still have waking from 4am. Sporadic upset stomach. Nausea. High anxiety. Throbbing/burning in nether regions seems to have eased for time being but stabbing/burning in calves of legs. Tinnitus. Occasional half to whole better days but mainly still struggling. Fatigue Link to comment
powerback Posted August 22, 2017 Share Posted August 22, 2017 1 hour ago, Scorpio said: Thank you power back. My life hardly seems worth fighting for but I have so much to live for! I can't even make myself eat today just water. its horrible isn't it ,I have the same thoughts myself today ,constantly needing to find distracting ,constant white knuckle today Alcohol free since February 2015 1MG diazepam 4.5MG PROZAC. Link to comment
Scorpio Posted August 22, 2017 Author Share Posted August 22, 2017 13 minutes ago, powerback said: its horrible isn't it ,I have the same thoughts myself today ,constantly needing to find distracting ,constant white knuckle today It is such a battle to get through each day. The extreme anxiety is what I find the hardest to bear. From the early hours of the morning until I get a few hours relief when I go to bed. I was having windows in the evenings but they seem to have disappeared too. It's so hard on not just me but my poor husband too he had to fend for himself with food tonight after a hard day at work. 2006 After sudden death of mother put on 20mg of citaloprom for depression. 2014 Drug stopped working after two weeks of panic attacks felt fine. Aug 2014. Doctor put me on lyrica for rash on face, diarrhoea, sleeplessness,muscle cramp, bruising. Initial dose too strong, halved dose. Stopped taking it 22/10/14 2014 severe anxiety after several ssri's attempted, seem to have developed severe sensitivity to any drug, but giving severe reactions put on cipralex drop form.started on 2 drops and had to increase by 1 drop every 3 days. Eventually got to 12 drops and had to stop as side effects every step of the way dreadful. Psychiatrist kept telling me to stick with it and my body would get used to it. Eventually down to 8 drops. Bad reactions throughout the time I was on it Have been on this until may 2017. Stopped over two weeks. Felt fine for 5 weeks after initial dizziness, nightmares, nausea, insomnia. Given diazepam by gp and told to take them when anxiety bad. Have only taken them very rarely as they frighten me. Last two weeks severe anxiety returned and feeling hopeless 11July 2017. Cipralex 2mg. Anxiety, nausea still severe 13 July 2017 Cipralex 1mg due to advice of too high dosage by kind person on thus site. so dropped from 2mg to 1mg and feelings of anxiety still at severe. As well as nausea, headaches, fatigue. 15 July still feeling extremely anxious verging on panic. Nausea, feelings of fainting, fatigue. Lots of head pains 3 August. Three weeks into trying to stabilise on one drop of cipralex. Still have waking from 4am. Sporadic upset stomach. Nausea. High anxiety. Throbbing/burning in nether regions seems to have eased for time being but stabbing/burning in calves of legs. Tinnitus. Occasional half to whole better days but mainly still struggling. Fatigue Link to comment
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