Scorpio: Will this ever end?

[Scorpio]

35 minutes ago, bubble said:

 I'm so sorry to hear you are struggling so badly!

 

I somehow missed your posts yesterday although I was thinking about you and hoping things would settle down..

 

I asked other mods for their opinion again.

 

Since you are so sensitive starting anything at full those is a bad idea but sadly doctors don't know of anything else.

 

This can't harm you no matter how horrible it is. Are you still able to get some sleep till 2 am?

 

Some people get zero sleep for days and still manage...

 

Epsom salts are a great idea.

 

Do you feel up to describing your symptom pattern again? It seems things have changed, not for the better as we were hoping...

 

I'm sorry I can't be of more help but hope somebody else will have some idea.

 

How did you feel when you didn't take cipralex? Maybe we could see what happens if you reduce it again.. gradual changes are easier on the brain and maybe it would give us an indication of what is it that your brain would be most satisfied wih atm...

 

You will get out of this.

 

 

Thank you bubble for replying. It is all over the place. 

I sleep quite easily when I go to bed but for the last few nights 2am woken with huge surge of panic and anxiety I try to sleep through it but every 15 minutes wake with it again. Today couldn't face getting up til 8.30 but think it probably makes it worse as anxiety panic keep rushing through me. Stomach making acidic noises throughout that time. Tinnitus very loud.  Get up and cry all over the place more from fear I expect 

the anxiety is with me most of the day but I try and distract myself although hard to do.    Burning lower legs and bowel cramp occur most of the day. Nausea comes and goes. Dry mouth the same. Aching legs same. 

I have managed to make myself eat at lunchtime even if only half a sandwich and in the evening I am able to cope with dinner so that has improved. 

I had to stop working in an office when first put on cipralex as said before couldn't get out of house for four months and work from home. The pattern would repeat every time I went into another wave. 

Again mainly in house now can't get out due to anxiety making me feel so ill. Have no energy to do anything same as previous waves. 

Last two evenings felt a small amount better, not much just more bearable. 

Have had to cancel going on holiday to Tenerife on Monday so again letting my family down. 

When I stopped the cipralex I felt me. For five weeks apart from dizziness every so often just brilliant social outgoing making plans. Something I cannot do again since this started.  Life is in tatters again. Impacting my wonderful family. 

[bubble]

Please don't worry about your family.

 

If there is any good in this WD than it is in teaching us how to be healthily selfish. A big part of the problem for many of us that caused us to start taking these drugs was our need to please others. But everybody has to put themselves first.

 

For me it happens that when I have an appointment to go somewhere or do something my anxiety increases dramatically. I've realised that this is the way in which my brain is telling me: please don't do it. I can't cope with this now.

 

Although going to Tenerife sounds relaxing to people with non compromised brains for someone like us it is a huge stress! Coupled with feeling guilty for disappointing your family I'm not surprised you took turn for worse...

 

Try to see yourself as if you had a broken leg. You would rest and everybody would be ok with that. Nobody would expect you to go for a jog. Going to Tenerife is to your brain an invitation of going to a jog with a broken leg.

 

Did I post that video of Mooji for you?

 

We all have to learn so much acceptance and living on a totally different level. There will be time to be social and outgoing. Now you are home nursing a broken leg.

[Scorpio]

48 minutes ago, bubble said:

Please don't worry about your family.

 

If there is any good in this WD than it is in teaching us how to be healthily selfish. A big part of the problem for many of us that caused us to start taking these drugs was our need to please others. But everybody has to put themselves first.

 

For me it happens that when I have an appointment to go somewhere or do something my anxiety increases dramatically. I've realised that this is the way in which my brain is telling me: please don't do it. I can't cope with this now.

 

Although going to Tenerife sounds relaxing to people with non compromised brains for someone like us it is a huge stress! Coupled with feeling guilty for disappointing your family I'm not surprised you took turn for worse...

 

Try to see yourself as if you had a broken leg. You would rest and everybody would be ok with that. Nobody would expect you to go for a jog. Going to Tenerife is to your brain an invitation of going to a jog with a broken leg.

 

Did I post that video of Mooji for you?

 

We all have to learn so much acceptance and living on a totally different level. There will be time to be social and outgoing. Now you are home nursing a broken leg.

Thank you again bubble. Your words make a lot of sense. It is another date I can't keep. 

How much Epsom salts goes into a bowl of water for a foot soak do you know?  My husband is out buying it for me now, hopefully it will help quieten this anxiety that is giving me no relief. 

Any ideas on whether I should go down to half a drop of cipralex or will it cause even more instability. 

Searching for relief. 

[bubble]

I guess there will be some instructions on the packaging.

 

I don't think anyone can tell how a reduction will affect you. It's all a matter of testing waters.

[Gridley]

For a foot bath, I put in about a cup (237 ml) of epsom salt and a dash of baking soda.  You could start with that and if it's okay, you might increase a bit.

[Scorpio]

52 minutes ago, bubble said:

I guess there will be some instructions on the packaging.

 

I don't think anyone can tell how a reduction will affect you. It's all a matter of testing waters.

Thanks bubble. Will stick and keep hoping    And hope for relief. 

[Scorpio]

26 minutes ago, Gridley said:

For a foot bath, I put in about a cup (237 ml) of epsom salt and a dash of baking soda.  You could start with that and if it's okay, you might increase a bit.

Thank you gridley. Will give it a go. 

[Scorpio]

On 29/08/2017 at 10:02 PM, potions said:

Hi scorpio,

I'm not sure if the moderators will approve of me telling you this, but tryptophan has been a lifesaver for me while I was (and am) in the throes of intense, neverending, unbearable withdrawal-induced anxiety. Tryptophan is a serotonin precursor, and although it may not help in the long run (as it does stimulate the serotonin receptors we are trying to heal), it has helped me immensely even though the pain was still there, it made it even just a little more bearable. I think it's much better than reinstating, that's for sure. I also read somewhere about benadryl helping with this anxiety, and I can vouch for that one too. When you are in intense anxiety, it is hard for you to try anything because you believe nothing will work and you're afraid of everything and anything you may try. But just taking these two things has lessened the severity of the horrid pain and anxiety I have felt (and am feeling) during this withdrawal journey and all it takes is going to your room or pantry or whatever and swallowing a pill. Good luck, I wish you the best, and I hope everything turns out okay.

Hello potions. Thank you for your tips. Sorry haven't replied before but in a bad way with this severe anxiety and panic. I see from your signature you are dropping lexapro what we call cipralex. Well done if I can ever get this to balance I hope to get to 0 too.  Good luck with your journey and as you said we will get there 

[JS11]

6 hours ago, bubble said:

Please don't worry about your family.

 

If there is any good in this WD than it is in teaching us how to be healthily selfish. A big part of the problem for many of us that caused us to start taking these drugs was our need to please others. But everybody has to put themselves first.

 

For me it happens that when I have an appointment to go somewhere or do something my anxiety increases dramatically. I've realised that this is the way in which my brain is telling me: please don't do it. I can't cope with this now.

 

Although going to Tenerife sounds relaxing to people with non compromised brains for someone like us it is a huge stress! Coupled with feeling guilty for disappointing your family I'm not surprised you took turn for worse...

 

Try to see yourself as if you had a broken leg. You would rest and everybody would be ok with that. Nobody would expect you to go for a jog. Going to Tenerife is to your brain an invitation of going to a jog with a broken leg.

 

Did I post that video of Mooji for you?

 

We all have to learn so much acceptance and living on a totally different level. There will be time to be social and outgoing. Now you are home nursing a broken leg.

Hello Bubble and Scorpio,

I am new to this site and was looking for words to help ease my anxiety.  Although I don't want others to suffer, I admit that there is comfort when you know you are not alone.   I like your analogy, Bubble.  It just helps put things in perspective when your brain is overloaded.  Not that I want a broken leg, but it would seem to be so much easier to explain to others that I am in withdrawals from anti-depressants.

  

[bubble]

12 minutes ago, JS11 said:

Hello Bubble and Scorpio,

I am new to this site and was looking for words to help ease my anxiety.  Although I don't want others to suffer, I admit that there is comfort when you know you are not alone.   I like your analogy, Bubble.  It just helps put things in perspective when your brain is overloaded.  Not that I want a broken leg, but it would seem to be so much easier to explain to others that I am in withdrawals from anti-depressants.

  

yes JS, that's maybe the most painful part of our situation: that not even our loved ones can understand what we are going through like they can with physical issues. 

 

I had suffered for years on my own not knowing what was happening so coming across this community meant the world to me. And it still does. 

 

The problem is also that we don't understand it ourselves that our brain has been literally physically injured on a cellular level, that we expect too much of it and are very upset with various aspects of its temporary dysfunctionality. We show much more understanding for a physical injury and adjust our life and self-care accordingly. It's a vast oversimplification but it's the best I could come up as a way of explaining some of the things we are going through.

[Scorpio]

33 minutes ago, JS11 said:

Hello Bubble and Scorpio,

I am new to this site and was looking for words to help ease my anxiety.  Although I don't want others to suffer, I admit that there is comfort when you know you are not alone.   I like your analogy, Bubble.  It just helps put things in perspective when your brain is overloaded.  Not that I want a broken leg, but it would seem to be so much easier to explain to others that I am in withdrawals from anti-depressants.

  

Hello js11. You will receive so much support on this site. As you can see bubble and others have been absolutely brilliant in keeping me going especially over the past couple of weeks when things have gotten worse. The anxiety and panic are the worst things for me too but hopefully we will both improve soon. It means far more sharing with understanding people who have been there, done that and now wear the t-shirt. I don't know how sensitive you are to any supplements but I am having a hard time trying anything. I had a go at a magnesium foot soak this evening, not sure if it helped but only put a small amount in, but it hasn't hurt me either. I tried magnesium very low dose in a drink sipping through the day and it was wonderful for a couple of days anxiety went completely then came back with a vengeance so had to stop it, so if you are not sensitive try it.   You are welcome to chat to me anytime we can moan and groan together 

[JS11]

10 minutes ago, bubble said:

yes JS, that's maybe the most painful part of our situation: that not even our loved ones can understand what we are going through like they can with physical issues. 

 

I had suffered for years on my own not knowing what was happening so coming across this community meant the world to me. And it still does. 

 

The problem is also that we don't understand it ourselves that our brain has been literally physically injured on a cellular level, that we expect too much of it and are very upset with various aspects of its temporary dysfunctionality. We show much more understanding for a physical injury and adjust our life and self-care accordingly. It's a vast oversimplification but it's the best I could come up as a way of explaining some of the things we are going through.

Oh no, I think my brain can only handle simplifications at the moment.  I read the information that I have desperately craved for so long and it just makes me feel a little less alone and dare I say, crazy--less like a diagnosis and more like a wounded human.  

So many uncertain situations in my life at present, not sure how personal to get, and the present overwhelming nature of those and the added anxiety and other withdrawal symptoms are very overwhelming.

I am not sure how to proceed, I guess.  I want so much to connect and share with others, become friends, but I honestly don't know how. I've never been part of an online group before. Sharing some of the deep dark things going on inside me increases what already seems to be heightened insecurity and vulnerability?  Wednesday, there  was light in the darkness when a kind soul responded to a late night question.  All these thoughts and feelings are popping out of my head and now I wonder if I, maybe shared too much?  I don't know, I suppose I am just very afraid right now. Such an out of control feeling when your body does unfamiliar things.  Thank you for your kindness, Bubble.  Just feeling rather alone..

 

 

[JS11]

20 minutes ago, Scorpio said:

Hello js11. You will receive so much support on this site. As you can see bubble and others have been absolutely brilliant in keeping me going especially over the past couple of weeks when things have gotten worse. The anxiety and panic are the worst things for me too but hopefully we will both improve soon. It means far more sharing with understanding people who have been there, done that and now wear the t-shirt. I don't know how sensitive you are to any supplements but I am having a hard time trying anything. I had a go at a magnesium foot soak this evening, not sure if it helped but only put a small amount in, but it hasn't hurt me either. I tried magnesium very low dose in a drink sipping through the day and it was wonderful for a couple of days anxiety went completely then came back with a vengeance so had to stop it, so if you are not sensitive try it.   You are welcome to chat to me anytime we can moan and groan together 

Oh thank you, Scorpio. It's lovely to meet you.   I spilled my guts yesterday to only the second person I have chatted with on this site and then I thought, "Oh no!  I want to put them back in.  They are so..bleck."  And yes, people who know and have the experience to understand make all the difference.  Just a little odd for me I guess, maybe it is for everyone, to post all these deep darks.  

If not one before, I think I have become an ultra sensitive soul at least to medications.  Had no idea this might have been brought on by withdrawal or maybe years of use.  I am taking Magnesium Citrate and Omega 3's.  I read about the Magnesium you drink.  Do you have any particular brand to recommend?  The thought of having a couple of anxiety free days sounds so inviting. The foot bath sounds lovely, but at present, I don't know if I could sit still long enough to enjoy the effects.

But the vengeance?  Blast!  I wonder what brought that on?  So nice to talk to someone.  And I do so love the British word, "whinge."  Used to live in London and moaning and groaning always sounds so much better to me with a British accent.  take care

[Scorpio]

Hi js11. 

Nice to see you have lived in London so you understand our dry sense of humour!  Don't worry about speaking about how you are feeling, I overcame that on here as I got more frightened and cried out for help. Remember everyone on here has been damaged by these poisonous drugs so we are all in the same boat and understand the fears and fragilities that we have. If you are taking the magnesium has it not helped?  I have Calms magnesium - powder that you add to water and makes a not unpleasant drink. If you have seen my thread then you can see how brass monkey and especially bubble have been so supportive of my panic even though they are going through their own terrible times. Have you looked at the supplements forum for other things that can help you if you are lucky enough to be able to take them, no doubt my time will come. The hard thing is for family and friends to understand what on earth has happened to us. 

[JS11]

19 minutes ago, Scorpio said:

Hi js11. 

Nice to see you have lived in London so you understand our dry sense of humour!  Don't worry about speaking about how you are feeling, I overcame that on here as I got more frightened and cried out for help. Remember everyone on here has been damaged by these poisonous drugs so we are all in the same boat and understand the fears and fragilities that we have. If you are taking the magnesium has it not helped?  I have Calms magnesium - powder that you add to water and makes a not unpleasant drink. If you have seen my thread then you can see how brass monkey and especially bubble have been so supportive of my panic even though they are going through their own terrible times. Have you looked at the supplements forum for other things that can help you if you are lucky enough to be able to take them, no doubt my time will come. The hard thing is for family and friends to understand what on earth has happened to us. 

Oh I adore London!  A part of me will always be there.  Smelling diesel fumes, which are not the norm here, used to make me misty.  

I"ve only taken the tablet form of magnesium and I don't have a clue if it's helping or not.  I would jump in a vat of the stuff if I thought it would calm me down.

I did go to the supplements forum.  I think.  I have been clicking here and there and must admit to being on information overload.  Although it is so lovely to have something to help explain all of this.   

 

And yes, I have read some of the posts of the obviously caring souls who are here.  Bubble just responded to my pleas and was comforting my insecurities, which I'm sure will subside with time.

I'm sure the health food store or Amazon will have some Magnesium powder.  Better now than waiting for the post which might be delayed.  It is a holiday here on Monday, Labor day.  Many kids have already started back to school but back when I was a lass, we always started the day after.   

 

So wonderful to meet a new friend, especially one from my former home.  At the time. I was made an honorary British citizen as my friends could not stomach the thought of being friends with an American--although I think they managed.

 

Once I was very good at adding and subtracting by 8 hours, which is the time difference as I am here on the West Coast.

 

Have a lovely evening, Scorpio

take care,

JS 

 

 

Quote

 

 

[Scorpio]

10 hours ago, JS11 said:

Oh I adore London!  A part of me will always be there.  Smelling diesel fumes, which are not the norm here, used to make me misty.  

I"ve only taken the tablet form of magnesium and I don't have a clue if it's helping or not.  I would jump in a vat of the stuff if I thought it would calm me down.

I did go to the supplements forum.  I think.  I have been clicking here and there and must admit to being on information overload.  Although it is so lovely to have something to help explain all of this.   

 

And yes, I have read some of the posts of the obviously caring souls who are here.  Bubble just responded to my pleas and was comforting my insecurities, which I'm sure will subside with time.

I'm sure the health food store or Amazon will have some Magnesium powder.  Better now than waiting for the post which might be delayed.  It is a holiday here on Monday, Labor day.  Many kids have already started back to school but back when I was a lass, we always started the day after.   

 

So wonderful to meet a new friend, especially one from my former home.  At the time. I was made an honorary British citizen as my friends could not stomach the thought of being friends with an American--although I think they managed.

 

Once I was very good at adding and subtracting by 8 hours, which is the time difference as I am here on the West Coast.

 

Have a lovely evening, Scorpio

take care,

JS 

 

 

 

Hi JS and bubble

Hope your evening has been better. I took a 1mg melatonin at bedtime last night and had the foot soak whichever it was I actually slept til 6. Completely full of it again this morning and having another foot soak hoping it will help again. 

Our school children go back on Monday so roads will be busy again. 

I love USA have been to various parts of Florida, NY, and Las Vegas quite a lot. Although not for a couple of years as due to brexit our pound is worth nothing if we travel. 

Hope you sleep better and tomorrow is another day. 

[bubble]

Hello JS and Scorpio!

 

Scorpio this is such great news! Once we experience that symptoms reduce without touching the drug and through just patiently riding them out we are on the road to recovery. this is so liberating. 

 

Maybe it's melatonin, maybe it's foot soak, maybe it's just brain having fixed something somewhere... but boy you needed this

 

Despite being unwell I couldn't help helping people in an institution so today I went to visit them. It was quite exhausting but they were so happy and it meant so much to them that it was worth it. I hope it wasn't too bad for my nerves and now I will have the rest of the weekend just for spoiling my nerves rotten: Epsom salt bath is a good reminder. I could use some melatonin too. Lately I've had to do mindfulness meditation and listen to sleep stories to fall asleep and then lie wide awake in the middle of the night. But hope better days are coming...

[JS11]

2 hours ago, bubble said:

Hello JS and Scorpio!

 

Scorpio this is such great news! Once we experience that symptoms reduce without touching the drug and through just patiently riding them out we are on the road to recovery. this is so liberating. 

 

Maybe it's melatonin, maybe it's foot soak, maybe it's just brain having fixed something somewhere... but boy you needed this

 

Despite being unwell I couldn't help helping people in an institution so today I went to visit them. It was quite exhausting but they were so happy and it meant so much to them that it was worth it. I hope it wasn't too bad for my nerves and now I will have the rest of the weekend just for spoiling my nerves rotten: Epsom salt bath is a good reminder. I could use some melatonin too. Lately I've had to do mindfulness meditation and listen to sleep stories to fall asleep and then lie wide awake in the middle of the night. But hope better days are coming...

Hi the both of you, 

So nice to hear from you both.  Oh yes, to sleep.  I'm so glad you got some Scorpio.

I'm sorry the anxiety is plaguing you.  It is a demon isn't it?  

 

I didn't used to get it at bedtime or maybe I did and happily repressed the memory but now, oh ugh.  Last night I was rather beside myself.  

 

Oh my gosh I was just reading your signature, Scorpio,  You have had burning in said nether regions too?  I've been, well, beside myself.  

 

Thoughts from both of you on my dose of Escitalopram/Lexapro.  If you look at my signature, it tells of the chaos.  I too think I have developed extreme sensitivity as have had adverse reaction to pretty much anything I have taken including an antibiotic.

 

I have been having such dizziness too, like you Scorpio.  Especially upon waking.  I don't know about you Bubbles. I had Vertigo once and this is nastiness.  A bad flashback.

 

I don't know what either of your thoughts are on trying to stabilize my dosage of Lexapro.  I was totally off for 4 months, reinstated at behest of Psychiatrist.  There was plenty of anxiety present, however, now I know it was withdrawal.  I was lowering my dose of Adderall XR from 10mg to 5mg.  

 

I initially did Lex at 2.5 then up to 3.75.  Psychiatrist kept wanting me to increase.  I kept wanting not to.  An oddly whenever I started the liquid Lexapro, the anxiety came on first thing after I took it in the morning.  Once or twice it happened before so then I started to believe that it was truly the anxiety, as suggested by the psychiatrist and not the Lexapro, which is what I thought.  

 

So again, I crept up on the dose.  I was holding at 5mg but still that horrendous stuff.  So back and forth I went.  And NOW, what do I do?  Any thoughts.

 

I need to stabilize my dosage.  Yes, I have only been on 8.5 mg (5mg tablet and 3.5mg liquid) but that same sensation has happened.  This morning, not even 15 minutes after I took the liquid, the anxiety was there.  The dizziness started almost immediately after I got up.  

 

So do I go still lower?  I don't want to mess up my system anymore than it already is but as I tried to explain to the nurse before I reluctantly agreed to this and then a slew of other medicines to help my anxiety and ironically to assist with the side-effects from taking the Lexapro which was supposed to help me:  My psychiatrist, although very, thoughtful and caring, is handing me a poison apple.  I keep telling her it is poison and she keeps telling me it is nutritious.  

 

And we know what happens when we take a bite of a bad apple.  

 

I hope the Magnesium foot soak has helped ease your symptoms somewhat, Scorpio.  

 

And Bubble, what a gem you are.  Those souls at the institution no doubt were more recipients of your kind generosity.  What we all need.  Some love and comfort.  I know I do.

If either of you could offer up your suggestions.  How do you decide how much poison to ingest?

Thanks again for your kindness and for being there.

take care,

JS

 

 

 

 

[JS11]

22 hours ago, JS11 said:

Oh no, I think my brain can only handle simplifications at the moment.  I read the information that I have desperately craved for so long and it just makes me feel a little less alone and dare I say, crazy--less like a diagnosis and more like a wounded human.  

So many uncertain situations in my life at present, not sure how personal to get, and the present overwhelming nature of those and the added anxiety and other withdrawal symptoms are very overwhelming.

I am not sure how to proceed, I guess.  I want so much to connect and share with others, become friends, but I honestly don't know how. I've never been part of an online group before. Sharing some of the deep dark things going on inside me increases what already seems to be heightened insecurity and vulnerability?  Wednesday, there  was light in the darkness when a kind soul responded to a late night question.  All these thoughts and feelings are popping out of my head and now I wonder if I, maybe shared too much?  I don't know, I suppose I am just very afraid right now. Such an out of control feeling when your body does unfamiliar things.  Thank you for your kindness, Bubble.  Just feeling rather alone..

 

 

Oh my I just reread what I wrote and realize I wasn't all there yesterday.  Thank you for being there, where ever that was.  

[Scorpio]

5 hours ago, bubble said:

Hello JS and Scorpio!

 

Scorpio this is such great news! Once we experience that symptoms reduce without touching the drug and through just patiently riding them out we are on the road to recovery. this is so liberating. 

 

Maybe it's melatonin, maybe it's foot soak, maybe it's just brain having fixed something somewhere... but boy you needed this

 

Despite being unwell I couldn't help helping people in an institution so today I went to visit them. It was quite exhausting but they were so happy and it meant so much to them that it was worth it. I hope it wasn't too bad for my nerves and now I will have the rest of the weekend just for spoiling my nerves rotten: Epsom salt bath is a good reminder. I could use some melatonin too. Lately I've had to do mindfulness meditation and listen to sleep stories to fall asleep and then lie wide awake in the middle of the night. But hope better days are coming...

Bubble you are such an inspiration.  I am in awe.  How do you manage to get through and cope with these awful symptoms and reach out to people such as you did today. Fabulous yes I don't know which bit of magic it was and today has not been easy with anxiety still dragging at my heels but the nights sleep was worth a million pounds. Even spoke to my oldest friend on the phone for an hour this evening when she rang. Normally I can't take the call so today has seen a major lift and tomorrow if bad will keep telling myself good days will come back. 

As for you bubble dip your toes in the Epsom salts, take the melatonin and I wish you a wonderful nights sleep as you certainly deserve it. 

[Scorpio]

2 hours ago, JS11 said:

Hi the both of you, 

So nice to hear from you both.  Oh yes, to sleep.  I'm so glad you got some Scorpio.

I'm sorry the anxiety is plaguing you.  It is a demon isn't it?  

 

I didn't used to get it at bedtime or maybe I did and happily repressed the memory but now, oh ugh.  Last night I was rather beside myself.  

 

Oh my gosh I was just reading your signature, Scorpio,  You have had burning in said nether regions too?  I've been, well, beside myself.  

 

Thoughts from both of you on my dose of Escitalopram/Lexapro.  If you look at my signature, it tells of the chaos.  I too think I have developed extreme sensitivity as have had adverse reaction to pretty much anything I have taken including an antibiotic.

 

I have been having such dizziness too, like you Scorpio.  Especially upon waking.  I don't know about you Bubbles. I had Vertigo once and this is nastiness.  A bad flashback.

 

I don't know what either of your thoughts are on trying to stabilize my dosage of Lexapro.  I was totally off for 4 months, reinstated at behest of Psychiatrist.  There was plenty of anxiety present, however, now I know it was withdrawal.  I was lowering my dose of Adderall XR from 10mg to 5mg.  

 

I initially did Lex at 2.5 then up to 3.75.  Psychiatrist kept wanting me to increase.  I kept wanting not to.  An oddly whenever I started the liquid Lexapro, the anxiety came on first thing after I took it in the morning.  Once or twice it happened before so then I started to believe that it was truly the anxiety, as suggested by the psychiatrist and not the Lexapro, which is what I thought.  

 

So again, I crept up on the dose.  I was holding at 5mg but still that horrendous stuff.  So back and forth I went.  And NOW, what do I do?  Any thoughts.

 

I need to stabilize my dosage.  Yes, I have only been on 8.5 mg (5mg tablet and 3.5mg liquid) but that same sensation has happened.  This morning, not even 15 minutes after I took the liquid, the anxiety was there.  The dizziness started almost immediately after I got up.  

 

So do I go still lower?  I don't want to mess up my system anymore than it already is but as I tried to explain to the nurse before I reluctantly agreed to this and then a slew of other medicines to help my anxiety and ironically to assist with the side-effects from taking the Lexapro which was supposed to help me:  My psychiatrist, although very, thoughtful and caring, is handing me a poison apple.  I keep telling her it is poison and she keeps telling me it is nutritious.  

 

And we know what happens when we take a bite of a bad apple.  

 

I hope the Magnesium foot soak has helped ease your symptoms somewhat, Scorpio.  

 

And Bubble, what a gem you are.  Those souls at the institution no doubt were more recipients of your kind generosity.  What we all need.  Some love and comfort.  I know I do.

If either of you could offer up your suggestions.  How do you decide how much poison to ingest?

Thanks again for your kindness and for being there.

take care,

JS

 

 

 

 

Hi JS

its good to hear from you again. I am not experienced enough to counsel you only have my own nightmare to share but I'm sure the moderators will tell you to hold on your dose until you have stabilised. I could be wrong but see what they say. I am nearly seven weeks on one dose of liquid escalitoprom from 8mg when I withdrew too rapidly and you have seen the consequences from my thread. The burning/sensitivity down below has gone thank god after about three or four weeks now I get burning/tingling lower legs and lower bowel cramping although that lessened a lot today, back this evening but I think it is all nerve endings which means the brain is changing - that's what I'm telling myself. I have always had the liquid dose and do you get tinnitus too?  The dizziness is easing its now more when I lay down to play with my baby grandson I forget and the room starts spinning - yuk. 

[JS11]

1 minute ago, Scorpio said:

Hi JS

its good to hear from you again. I am not experienced enough to counsel you only have my own nightmare to share but I'm sure the moderators will tell you to hold on your dose until you have stabilised. I could be wrong but see what they say. I am nearly seven weeks on one dose of liquid escalitoprom from 8mg when I withdrew too rapidly and you have seen the consequences from my thread. The burning/sensitivity down below has gone thank god after about three or four weeks now I get burning/tingling lower legs and lower bowel cramping although that lessened a lot today, back this evening but I think it is all nerve endings which means the brain is changing - that's what I'm telling myself. I have always had the liquid dose and do you get tinnitus too?  The dizziness is easing its now more when I lay down to play with my baby grandson I forget and the room starts spinning - yuk. 

Hi Scorpio,

Desperate times call for desperate measures...or so it seems when you are overwrought.  Yes, I did ask Bubble.  So lovely to have both your support.

I'm glad to hear that uncomfortableness does relent.  I was saying nether regions too, how funny.  Well, I private messaged the moderator who originally responded, Mamma P, as I was rather embarrassed to just put it out there.  

I have been reading notes on my chart which is a medical website, trying to track all my medication changes and so forth.  I'll tell you.  Roller Coaster.

 

It is good to here that your dizziness has gotten better but how can one not play with a wee babe?  I'm sure it easy to forget.  

I did have some back pain and weird cramping too past couple of days which seemed to lessen. Yeah for us both!

 

I never thought about the nerve endings and brain change.  Been too consumed by the other things.  Hope on the horizon.  Do Dah.

 

How is your anxiety doing?  Did the soak help?  Mine went away maybe midmorning and then came back a little before noon.  The dizziness too.  Ick.  

Are you going to attempt to get some rest?

I have been taking Melatonin for some time.  I had been on Ambien/Zolipedem which our prescription sleep aids for years.  Off then just once in a while.

Melatonin never seemed to work but then my Doctor, a lovely, lovely soul, gave me instructions from a sleep specialist.  You are supposed to take Melatonin after supper as it takes 5 or 6 hours to kick in.  And you really only need 1mg maybe a touch more.  I usually break a 3 in half but lately have been taking the whole darned thing to help calm me down.  

Most people take it right before bed and then can't fall asleep as Melatonin takes a while to kick in.  So then they can't sleep and it starts to kick in when you are trying to drag your body out of bed.  Don't know if that might help.  

Sleep oh so necessary to well being.  I had issues for years.  

Hope you had/are having a lovely day.  

I  have been up to next to nothing.  Looking at medicines prescribed over the years....oh so many...

take care,

chat when you can

JS 

 

[Scorpio]

22 minutes ago, JS11 said:

Hi Scorpio,

Desperate times call for desperate measures...or so it seems when you are overwrought.  Yes, I did ask Bubble.  So lovely to have both your support.

I'm glad to hear that uncomfortableness does relent.  I was saying nether regions too, how funny.  Well, I private messaged the moderator who originally responded, Mamma P, as I was rather embarrassed to just put it out there.  

I have been reading notes on my chart which is a medical website, trying to track all my medication changes and so forth.  I'll tell you.  Roller Coaster.

 

It is good to here that your dizziness has gotten better but how can one not play with a wee babe?  I'm sure it easy to forget.  

I did have some back pain and weird cramping too past couple of days which seemed to lessen. Yeah for us both!

 

I never thought about the nerve endings and brain change.  Been too consumed by the other things.  Hope on the horizon.  Do Dah.

 

How is your anxiety doing?  Did the soak help?  Mine went away maybe midmorning and then came back a little before noon.  The dizziness too.  Ick.  

Are you going to attempt to get some rest?

I have been taking Melatonin for some time.  I had been on Ambien/Zolipedem which our prescription sleep aids for years.  Off then just once in a while.

Melatonin never seemed to work but then my Doctor, a lovely, lovely soul, gave me instructions from a sleep specialist.  You are supposed to take Melatonin after supper as it takes 5 or 6 hours to kick in.  And you really only need 1mg maybe a touch more.  I usually break a 3 in half but lately have been taking the whole darned thing to help calm me down.  

Most people take it right before bed and then can't fall asleep as Melatonin takes a while to kick in.  So then they can't sleep and it starts to kick in when you are trying to drag your body out of bed.  Don't know if that might help.  

Sleep oh so necessary to well being.  I had issues for years.  

Hope you had/are having a lovely day.  

I  have been up to next to nothing.  Looking at medicines prescribed over the years....oh so many...

take care,

chat when you can

JS 

 

Hi JS

lovely to hear from you too. Well I would have called it my fanny which as you probably know as an adopted Brit is what we call the ****** but USA use it for another part of the anatomy!  All very confusing. Yes we must keep telling ourselves all these strange symptoms is a sign of the brain trying to mend. 

The anxiety was biting at my heels all day but slightly more bearable than the past week or so when it got so much worse. Even managed to go with my husband for a quick supermarket shop - miracle. 

I always used 3mg melatonin on flights back from USA and other far flung places to help sleep on the plane. But last night halved the tablet. Didn't realise we should take it so much earlier than going to bed will have a go at that. I can't be sure if the foot bath or the melatonin helped but have had another two foot soaks during the day today and it hasn't agitated me so fingers crossed. I am just not able to find anything I can take easily thanks to these awful drugs. If I get ill and need drugs etc it is a nightmare. Doctors just keep giving me different antibiotics until one stops giving me awful reactions. Did you find the Calms magnesium powder?  

It is now 10pm here so winding down and will go to bed in an hour or so and read from my kindle and start all over again with this merry go round. 

[JS11]

15 minutes ago, Scorpio said:

Hi JS

lovely to hear from you too. Well I would have called it my fanny which as you probably know as an adopted Brit is what we call the ****** but USA use it for another part of the anatomy!  All very confusing. Yes we must keep telling ourselves all these strange symptoms is a sign of the brain trying to mend. 

The anxiety was biting at my heels all day but slightly more bearable than the past week or so when it got so much worse. Even managed to go with my husband for a quick supermarket shop - miracle. 

I always used 3mg melatonin on flights back from USA and other far flung places to help sleep on the plane. But last night halved the tablet. Didn't realise we should take it so much earlier than going to bed will have a go at that. I can't be sure if the foot bath or the melatonin helped but have had another two foot soaks during the day today and it hasn't agitated me so fingers crossed. I am just not able to find anything I can take easily thanks to these awful drugs. If I get ill and need drugs etc it is a nightmare. Doctors just keep giving me different antibiotics until one stops giving me awful reactions. Did you find the Calms magnesium powder?  

It is now 10pm here so winding down and will go to bed in an hour or so and read from my kindle and start all over again with this merry go round. 

Oh yes, as with all thing British to American, we took off the (s.)  So it is just calm.  Rather like what we do with your math(s).  And we won't get into those other names...

Yes, it's, "Here kitty, kitty!."  Not, "P****, P*****!"  Hope you didn't learn that the hard way when going on holiday here.   

 

And as to the weird and wild symptoms.  Who knew?  I bet that isn't on any of the patient inserts, though I couldn't bloody read it anyway.  I don't know why I refuse to get my eyes retested when I must ask the assistance of some youth to help me decipher things.  

 

Oh the shop!  I have hardly been venturing out of the house.  Poor neighbors.  Borrowed eggs last night.  Told her I would replenish to day and I must get out and do something as the cupboards are fairly bare. Does feel like such an accomplishment though when you can get out.  I did yesterday for an appointment and although it was so very hot--upper 90's F so maybe 30's C, I am a delicate flower, it made me feel like I was participating in the world.

 

Trying not to feel guilty about allowing myself to linger.  I have two great nephews who usually spend weekends, vacations and any other minute they can, with me.  They will be along in a couple hours probably 5pmish.  No doubt wanting to be feed.  They have lived on lots of pizza of late.  Not a bad diet once in a while I suppose.

 

I have never tried a Magnesium soak.  I did read the label and the words of a moderator who indicated that I should take it slow.  I too am wary of all these things that I am putting in my body, but it seems my anxiety takes over and I just want to alleviate by taking something.  Not a comforting feeling.  The fizzy Magnesium doesn't taste too bad. 

I'm a tea girl and not into sugary drinks, so it is nice that this is a little lemony.  Lord, I haven't even been having my morning tea.  Now that is a shocker.  Seems not to even want it.

 

Yes, I think many of us become sensitized from all these medications.  Just sensitive souls I guess.  Maybe our systems way of telling us enough!  I want freedom.  I had a horrific adverse reaction to both anew anti-depressant and a new antibiotic which prompted me to want to rid my body of all this stuff.  So, I guess some good out of that.

 

I hope the Melatonin helps.  I often forget to take it at the right time as I am not always thinking about bed right after supper but I am trying to be more aware.

 

I do keep my fingers crossed that the foot baths won't antagonize your delicate system and that you will get some much needed sleep.

My hope for you from far, far away.

take care,

Scorpio

JS

 

[Scorpio]

11 hours ago, JS11 said:

Oh yes, as with all thing British to American, we took off the (s.)  So it is just calm.  Rather like what we do with your math(s).  And we won't get into those other names...

Yes, it's, "Here kitty, kitty!."  Not, "P****, P*****!"  Hope you didn't learn that the hard way when going on holiday here.   

 

And as to the weird and wild symptoms.  Who knew?  I bet that isn't on any of the patient inserts, though I couldn't bloody read it anyway.  I don't know why I refuse to get my eyes retested when I must ask the assistance of some youth to help me decipher things.  

 

Oh the shop!  I have hardly been venturing out of the house.  Poor neighbors.  Borrowed eggs last night.  Told her I would replenish to day and I must get out and do something as the cupboards are fairly bare. Does feel like such an accomplishment though when you can get out.  I did yesterday for an appointment and although it was so very hot--upper 90's F so maybe 30's C, I am a delicate flower, it made me feel like I was participating in the world.

 

Trying not to feel guilty about allowing myself to linger.  I have two great nephews who usually spend weekends, vacations and any other minute they can, with me.  They will be along in a couple hours probably 5pmish.  No doubt wanting to be feed.  They have lived on lots of pizza of late.  Not a bad diet once in a while I suppose.

 

I have never tried a Magnesium soak.  I did read the label and the words of a moderator who indicated that I should take it slow.  I too am wary of all these things that I am putting in my body, but it seems my anxiety takes over and I just want to alleviate by taking something.  Not a comforting feeling.  The fizzy Magnesium doesn't taste too bad. 

I'm a tea girl and not into sugary drinks, so it is nice that this is a little lemony.  Lord, I haven't even been having my morning tea.  Now that is a shocker.  Seems not to even want it.

 

Yes, I think many of us become sensitized from all these medications.  Just sensitive souls I guess.  Maybe our systems way of telling us enough!  I want freedom.  I had a horrific adverse reaction to both anew anti-depressant and a new antibiotic which prompted me to want to rid my body of all this stuff.  So, I guess some good out of that.

 

I hope the Melatonin helps.  I often forget to take it at the right time as I am not always thinking about bed right after supper but I am trying to be more aware.

 

I do keep my fingers crossed that the foot baths won't antagonize your delicate system and that you will get some much needed sleep.

My hope for you from far, far away.

take care,

Scorpio

JS

 

Hi JS and bubble 

'well it didn't last long. Back to waking at 5am this morning with screaming anxiety, tinnitus playing its own horrible tune in my ears, hot sweats, nausea,  the works.  Yesterday felt a little more hopeful to then be slammed again. Cruel isn't it. 

 

How lovely that your great nephews want to be with you and I'm sure that they are not bothered what you give them to eat .  You made me smile about *****, *****. Well done on getting out and attending your appointment an achievement in itself. 

 

I only put 100g of magnesium in a bowl of hot water for a foot soak and quarter of a teaspoon of calm in a tall glass of water. Terrified of reactions too.  Probably worse again today as took the easy route and picked up pizza for us for dinner last night as couldn't think about cooking and also had a rare glass of wine - stupid.  I was fine on having the odd wine before I stopped taking 8mg cipralex but now seems to react. As for tea, same as you, but I have two cups when I get up and that's it for the day. Drink camomile tea for the rest of the day - tastes just like cat pee but hopefully helps a little although haven't felt any calmer. 

 

I wear varied focal glasses all the time otherwise blind as a bat. 

 

Hope your night was easier and you managed some sleep. 

[bubble]

I'm sorry to hear that Scorpio.

 

Food and alcohol in particular definitely upset our fragile brains. Alcohol is a big no. Not even an occasional glass of wine. In particular since you have such strongly pronounced digestive tract symptoms you would benefit from being extra careful about what you eat and note correlations between the type of food you eat and the increase in your symptoms. Processed food and preservatives are not really good for anyone and for us in particular. A lot of people feel better with eliminating sugar, gluten, dairy. 

 

It is a struggle when we don't have the energy to live let alone shop for heathy groceries and cook but what can we do... 

 

Once a window opens it means it will open again...

 

[JS11]

9 hours ago, Scorpio said:

Hi JS and bubble 

'well it didn't last long. Back to waking at 5am this morning with screaming anxiety, tinnitus playing its own horrible tune in my ears, hot sweats, nausea,  the works.  Yesterday felt a little more hopeful to then be slammed again. Cruel isn't it. 

 

How lovely that your great nephews want to be with you and I'm sure that they are not bothered what you give them to eat .  You made me smile about *****, *****. Well done on getting out and attending your appointment an achievement in itself. 

 

I only put 100g of magnesium in a bowl of hot water for a foot soak and quarter of a teaspoon of calm in a tall glass of water. Terrified of reactions too.  Probably worse again today as took the easy route and picked up pizza for us for dinner last night as couldn't think about cooking and also had a rare glass of wine - stupid.  I was fine on having the odd wine before I stopped taking 8mg cipralex but now seems to react. As for tea, same as you, but I have two cups when I get up and that's it for the day. Drink camomile tea for the rest of the day - tastes just like cat pee but hopefully helps a little although haven't felt any calmer. 

 

I wear varied focal glasses all the time otherwise blind as a bat. 

 

Hope your night was easier and you managed some sleep. 

Oh dear Scorpio, I burst out laughing with the remark about the cat pee.  I hate chamomile tea, not sure if that is the reason but possibly.  

And Hi Bubble.

 

Well it looks as though we may be in different time zones, we seemed to be plagued by the same demon:  Anxiety.  I woke at 5am as well.  Same thing.  Although I don't get tinnitus.  I'm so sorry that must be hideous.  Do you get any respite or is that constant too?  

 

I was trying to figure out what time 5am is here, 8 hours earlier,  Lord I cannot do math(s) for the life of me.  9pm?  I don't know if you have been hopping on the computer first thing, never been one of those, not a constant technology girl but I seem to run there now in search of answers and a friendly voice.  

 

When you wake, do you take your prescriptions first thing?  I believe you said you have only been on the liquid Citaloprex? (same drug, different continent).  This a.m I took part liquid 3.5mg at 5am to see if it would help, uh, no, and then the other 5mg tablet and other RX's at 5;30.  I read somewhere about doing a combination and it is rather necessary to try and manage exact amounts when you don't.  

 

It's easy to forget things, like wine and such, and possible reactions.  I'm sorry that it had such a negative effect.  I wonder if this is how people become obsessive if they aren't already, thinking about every little thing and its impact, you know, if I stomped my foot and the anxiety went away, I would be stomping away like a mad woman.  Guess I could be an Irish dancer.

 

I haven't yet tried the foot soak.  Probably would need an anchor the way I am feeling.  It impresses me that you can sit still.  Although I say that as I lay here upright in bed.  My nephews are plugged into technology as apparently am I.  Do you have that freight train in your chest feeling?  That is what it feels like to me.  Also, it feels oddly warm too.

And those blasted nether regions.  That I could certainly do without.  Thank goodness I read your signature!  I had nightmares too when I was switching forms of medicines.  Thank fully those went away.  Dizziness seems to come and go.  Loves to accompany me to bed. Nasty bugger!

 

I hope you got some relief in your day. I laughed again when I saw the pizza remark as I have some cold stuff in a box downstairs.

 

Oh, it is, I don't want to say nice, as I don't want you or anyone to suffer, but I truly don't feel so alone hearing about what is happening with you and others.  If I said that before forgive me.  My memory, well. another subject altogether.

 

Whatever time it is there, almost 8pm, I'm thinking--Counting ahead is so much easier than backwards--I hope it is treating you well.

take care,

JS.

 

 

 

 

 

[JS11]

7 hours ago, bubble said:

I'm sorry to hear that Scorpio.

 

Food and alcohol in particular definitely upset our fragile brains. Alcohol is a big no. Not even an occasional glass of wine. In particular since you have such strongly pronounced digestive tract symptoms you would benefit from being extra careful about what you eat and note correlations between the type of food you eat and the increase in your symptoms. Processed food and preservatives are not really good for anyone and for us in particular. A lot of people feel better with eliminating sugar, gluten, dairy. 

 

It is a struggle when we don't have the energy to live let alone shop for heathy groceries and cook but what can we do... 

 

Once a window opens it means it will open again...

 

That last part is especially lovely, Bubble.  

 

I have noticed odd things about food too.  I don't know if I wasn't conscious of it before but when I eat something, I think it was a mix you added to hamburger (minced beef), I got a headache.  So very strange.  All these new happenings.

 

I hope you got some rest from your outing of yesterday.

take care ladies.

JS

[Scorpio]

13 minutes ago, JS11 said:

Oh dear Scorpio, I burst out laughing with the remark about the cat pee.  I hate chamomile tea, not sure if that is the reason but possibly.  

And Hi Bubble.

 

Well it looks as though we may be in different time zones, we seemed to be plagued by the same demon:  Anxiety.  I woke at 5am as well.  Same thing.  Although I don't get tinnitus.  I'm so sorry that must be hideous.  Do you get any respite or is that constant too?  

 

I was trying to figure out what time 5am is here, 8 hours earlier,  Lord I cannot do math(s) for the life of me.  9pm?  I don't know if you have been hopping on the computer first thing, never been one of those, not a constant technology girl but I seem to run there now in search of answers and a friendly voice.  

 

When you wake, do you take your prescriptions first thing?  I believe you said you have only been on the liquid Citaloprex? (same drug, different continent).  This a.m I took part liquid 3.5mg at 5am to see if it would help, uh, no, and then the other 5mg tablet and other RX's at 5;30.  I read somewhere about doing a combination and it is rather necessary to try and manage exact amounts when you don't.  

 

It's easy to forget things, like wine and such, and possible reactions.  I'm sorry that it had such a negative effect.  I wonder if this is how people become obsessive if they aren't already, thinking about every little thing and its impact, you know, if I stomped my foot and the anxiety went away, I would be stomping away like a mad woman.  Guess I could be an Irish dancer.

 

I haven't yet tried the foot soak.  Probably would need an anchor the way I am feeling.  It impresses me that you can sit still.  Although I say that as I lay here upright in bed.  My nephews are plugged into technology as apparently am I.  Do you have that freight train in your chest feeling?  That is what it feels like to me.  Also, it feels oddly warm too.

And those blasted nether regions.  That I could certainly do without.  Thank goodness I read your signature!  I had nightmares too when I was switching forms of medicines.  Thank fully those went away.  Dizziness seems to come and go.  Loves to accompany me to bed. Nasty bugger!

 

I hope you got some relief in your day. I laughed again when I saw the pizza remark as I have some cold stuff in a box downstairs.

 

Oh, it is, I don't want to say nice, as I don't want you or anyone to suffer, but I truly don't feel so alone hearing about what is happening with you and others.  If I said that before forgive me.  My memory, well. another subject altogether.

 

Whatever time it is there, almost 8pm, I'm thinking--Counting ahead is so much easier than backwards--I hope it is treating you well.

take care,

JS.

 

 

 

 

 

Hi JS

You made me laugh with trying to work out the time difference I have the same problem but I think you are now 12 noon and we are 8pm. Hope you have been enjoying your great nephews and they help to take your mind off the horrible symptoms. 

I take my 1mg in a small glass of water after my cup of tea in the morning. Swiftly followed by a probiotic drink and probiotic yoghurt in the hope my stomach won't notice the drug hitting it - doesn't work, but I live in hope. 

 

I didnt have have a problem with wine or lager, about the only things alcoholic that I drink, while on 8mg even though it gave me so many other problems. I haven't been able to eat chocolate since started this drug or any sweet things really. As I have lost so much weight it would be more helpful if I could eat sweet stuff. You also made me laugh about stomping etc we are so much alike. As I had a good night Friday I had the foot soak, melatonin exactly the same last night but didn't works but just in case will do the same tonight! It reminds me of when we were children and don't step on the cracks!  

Can you put your computer on and get involved in a game on there while sticking your feet for 15 minutes in a bowl. It might help keep you grounded - haha. 

 

The burning fanny will go trust me it stopped for me and I'm sure it will for you. The chest is where my anxiety sits like a huge burning brick, spreading throughout my body.   Hard day today as cancelled holiday. My daughter very emotional which upset me so two crying women with a baby stuck between us wondering what on earth we were up to. Lots more anxiety, hot sweats, nausea and achy legs today but did manage to eat both at lunchtime and tonight so one good thing. 

 

Hope me your day is improving,  

scorpio

 

Hope you 

[JS11]

2 minutes ago, Scorpio said:

Hi JS

You made me laugh with trying to work out the time difference I have the same problem but I think you are now 12 noon and we are 8pm. Hope you have been enjoying your great nephews and they help to take your mind off the horrible symptoms. 

I take my 1mg in a small glass of water after my cup of tea in the morning. Swiftly followed by a probiotic drink and probiotic yoghurt in the hope my stomach won't notice the drug hitting it - doesn't work, but I live in hope. 

 

I didnt have have a problem with wine or lager, about the only things alcoholic that I drink, while on 8mg even though it gave me so many other problems. I haven't been able to eat chocolate since started this drug or any sweet things really. As I have lost so much weight it would be more helpful if I could eat sweet stuff. You also made me laugh about stomping etc we are so much alike. As I had a good night Friday I had the foot soak, melatonin exactly the same last night but didn't works but just in case will do the same tonight! It reminds me of when we were children and don't step on the cracks!  

Can you put your computer on and get involved in a game on there while sticking your feet for 15 minutes in a bowl. It might help keep you grounded - haha. 

 

The burning fanny will go trust me it stopped for me and I'm sure it will for you. The chest is where my anxiety sits like a huge burning brick, spreading throughout my body.   Hard day today as cancelled holiday. My daughter very emotional which upset me so two crying women with a baby stuck between us wondering what on earth we were up to. Lots more anxiety, hot sweats, nausea and achy legs today but did manage to eat both at lunchtime and tonight so one good thing. 

 

Hope me your day is improving,  

scorpio

 

Hope you 

Oh, I am so sorry about your holiday, Scorpio.  I know your daughter loves you and wants what is best for you even if she is disappointed she loves her mum.  My mama passed in 2006 too, from cancer, and I so adored her.  It is so disconcerting not being able to do things when we so want to.  I cannot imagine going on holiday though.  In your heart, know that you did what was best for you and for your family.  They wouldn't want you to be far from home and miserable, having to stay in the hotel while they tried to get on with things but were worried.  Just blast it!

 

Sadly my nephews will be leaving in a little while to be with their mom.  They live with my oldest brother and don't get to see her very often.  I should be glad for them, as I have done absolutely nothing with them laying around in bed while they play their games, but I will so miss the companionship.  And the life.  Just makes it all more bearable.  Probably like you and your grandbaby.

 

Don't want to creep into dark places, the hopeless feeling can be so difficult to break out of.  So many changes going on in my life, they would produce anxiety for anyone, but hard to cope with in this state.  Lots of instability.  I know fatigue doesn't help.  I'm sure you understand that too.  

 

I have been losing weight too but went from thin to not so much after years of taking anti-depressants.  I was a beast for a while.  When I first went off of Lex.  lost 30 pounds.  Nothing really has sounded very good, although I have been drinking these chocolate protein drinks from Costco.  Oh, I do so love Costco.  I was going to go yesterday but the mere thought was anxiety producing.  

 

No haven't stepped on any cracks.  Although I must move my carcass.  Have been so sedentary.  My legs starting to rebel.  I have an exercise bike which I must make myself do, at least for a bit.  I know it will help.  I think just the anticipation.  Need a minion to help me move my legs up and down.  Oh, how pathetic is that.  Have you seen the movie WALL-E?  Very sweet.  I think a Walt Disney.  I love those.  All the people ride around in these hover chairs and slurp drinks and use computers.  Uh-oh.  At least I am sipping, well gulping Magnesium.  

 

Oh by the way, how much of that do you drink every day?  I suppose with the foot baths maybe you add that into your daily total.  I don't want to run screaming,,,,okay shlep slowly for a quarter teaspoon and water every time I feel anxious, which has been steady on today I fear. Is your morning dose the only one?  I was taking probiotics but haven't in a while.  Had a dodgy stomach forever.  Seems to have improved.  I so hope yours will as well.  Do you ever do ginger?  It is one of those things that people either like or loathe.  I am on of the likers.  Got this chewy, dried stuff at Costco.  Does help with the tummy.  Have never made it into tea but I think you can.  As for chocolate, it doesn't sound good at all.  I'm sure our taste buds are trying to figure things out too.  My mouth feels like a desert.  Constant ice water doesn't seem to help.  You know how Americans love their ice.  I must admit to being one of them.  

 

8:50pm there.  Any good Sunday telly to help?  I do watch the British shows on a channel here we call PBS.  Haven't really done that either.  Seem to be very sound sensitive.  

Egad.  

 

take care, Scorpio

a hug to your daughter and baby.

Oh have to keep fighting....

Will no doubt be glued here today...maybe try to close eyes although don't want to...don't know what I want to do..that restless feeling.  rats!

 

 

 

 

 

 

[JS11]

Just now, JS11 said:

Oh, I am so sorry about your holiday, Scorpio.  I know your daughter loves you and wants what is best for you even if she is disappointed she loves her mum.  My mama passed in 2006 too, from cancer, and I so adored her.  It is so disconcerting not being able to do things when we so want to.  I cannot imagine going on holiday though.  In your heart, know that you did what was best for you and for your family.  They wouldn't want you to be far from home and miserable, having to stay in the hotel while they tried to get on with things but were worried.  Just blast it!

 

Sadly my nephews will be leaving in a little while to be with their mom.  They live with my oldest brother and don't get to see her very often.  I should be glad for them, as I have done absolutely nothing with them laying around in bed while they play their games, but I will so miss the companionship.  And the life.  Just makes it all more bearable.  Probably like you and your grandbaby.

 

Don't want to creep into dark places, the hopeless feeling can be so difficult to break out of.  So many changes going on in my life, they would produce anxiety for anyone, but hard to cope with in this state.  Lots of instability.  I know fatigue doesn't help.  I'm sure you understand that too.  

 

I have been losing weight too but went from thin to not so much after years of taking anti-depressants.  I was a beast for a while.  When I first went off of Lex.  lost 30 pounds.  Nothing really has sounded very good, although I have been drinking these chocolate protein drinks from Costco.  Oh, I do so love Costco.  I was going to go yesterday but the mere thought was anxiety producing.  

 

No haven't stepped on any cracks.  Although I must move my carcass.  Have been so sedentary.  My legs starting to rebel.  I have an exercise bike which I must make myself do, at least for a bit.  I know it will help.  I think just the anticipation.  Need a minion to help me move my legs up and down.  Oh, how pathetic is that.  Have you seen the movie WALL-E?  Very sweet.  I think a Walt Disney.  I love those.  All the people ride around in these hover chairs and slurp drinks and use computers.  Uh-oh.  At least I am sipping, well gulping Magnesium.  

 

Oh by the way, how much of that do you drink every day?  I suppose with the foot baths maybe you add that into your daily total.  I don't want to run screaming,,,,okay shlep slowly for a quarter teaspoon and water every time I feel anxious, which has been steady on today I fear. Is your morning dose the only one?  I was taking probiotics but haven't in a while.  Had a dodgy stomach forever.  Seems to have improved.  I so hope yours will as well.  Do you ever do ginger?  It is one of those things that people either like or loathe.  I am on of the likers.  Got this chewy, dried stuff at Costco.  Does help with the tummy.  Have never made it into tea but I think you can.  As for chocolate, it doesn't sound good at all.  I'm sure our taste buds are trying to figure things out too.  My mouth feels like a desert.  Constant ice water doesn't seem to help.  You know how Americans love their ice.  I must admit to being one of them.  

 

8:50pm there.  Any good Sunday telly to help?  I do watch the British shows on a channel here we call PBS.  Haven't really done that either.  Seem to be very sound sensitive.  

Egad.  

 

take care, Scorpio

a hug to your daughter and baby.

Oh have to keep fighting....

Will no doubt be glued here today...maybe try to close eyes although don't want to...don't know what I want to do..that restless feeling.  rats!

 

 

 

 

 

 

Oh P.S.  My niece is in labor with her second child.  So, some bright news on the horizon.

[bubble]

Congrats JS!

 

Here is a must read. Helped me understand what is actually happening with our brains and gave me patience and hope: 

 

[Scorpio]

7 minutes ago, JS11 said:

Oh, I am so sorry about your holiday, Scorpio.  I know your daughter loves you and wants what is best for you even if she is disappointed she loves her mum.  My mama passed in 2006 too, from cancer, and I so adored her.  It is so disconcerting not being able to do things when we so want to.  I cannot imagine going on holiday though.  In your heart, know that you did what was best for you and for your family.  They wouldn't want you to be far from home and miserable, having to stay in the hotel while they tried to get on with things but were worried.  Just blast it!

 

Sadly my nephews will be leaving in a little while to be with their mom.  They live with my oldest brother and don't get to see her very often.  I should be glad for them, as I have done absolutely nothing with them laying around in bed while they play their games, but I will so miss the companionship.  And the life.  Just makes it all more bearable.  Probably like you and your grandbaby.

 

Don't want to creep into dark places, the hopeless feeling can be so difficult to break out of.  So many changes going on in my life, they would produce anxiety for anyone, but hard to cope with in this state.  Lots of instability.  I know fatigue doesn't help.  I'm sure you understand that too.  

 

I have been losing weight too but went from thin to not so much after years of taking anti-depressants.  I was a beast for a while.  When I first went off of Lex.  lost 30 pounds.  Nothing really has sounded very good, although I have been drinking these chocolate protein drinks from Costco.  Oh, I do so love Costco.  I was going to go yesterday but the mere thought was anxiety producing.  

 

No haven't stepped on any cracks.  Although I must move my carcass.  Have been so sedentary.  My legs starting to rebel.  I have an exercise bike which I must make myself do, at least for a bit.  I know it will help.  I think just the anticipation.  Need a minion to help me move my legs up and down.  Oh, how pathetic is that.  Have you seen the movie WALL-E?  Very sweet.  I think a Walt Disney.  I love those.  All the people ride around in these hover chairs and slurp drinks and use computers.  Uh-oh.  At least I am sipping, well gulping Magnesium.  

 

Oh by the way, how much of that do you drink every day?  I suppose with the foot baths maybe you add that into your daily total.  I don't want to run screaming,,,,okay shlep slowly for a quarter teaspoon and water every time I feel anxious, which has been steady on today I fear. Is your morning dose the only one?  I was taking probiotics but haven't in a while.  Had a dodgy stomach forever.  Seems to have improved.  I so hope yours will as well.  Do you ever do ginger?  It is one of those things that people either like or loathe.  I am on of the likers.  Got this chewy, dried stuff at Costco.  Does help with the tummy.  Have never made it into tea but I think you can.  As for chocolate, it doesn't sound good at all.  I'm sure our taste buds are trying to figure things out too.  My mouth feels like a desert.  Constant ice water doesn't seem to help.  You know how Americans love their ice.  I must admit to being one of them.  

 

8:50pm there.  Any good Sunday telly to help?  I do watch the British shows on a channel here we call PBS.  Haven't really done that either.  Seem to be very sound sensitive.  

Egad.  

 

take care, Scorpio

a hug to your daughter and baby.

Oh have to keep fighting....

Will no doubt be glued here today...maybe try to close eyes although don't want to...don't know what I want to do..that restless feeling.  rats!

 

 

 

 

 

 

Hi JS

Thank you for those kind words. I was completely devastated when my mum died. I spoke to her daily and saw her three or four times a week. She was becoming frail but she was as sharp as a button. Yes the baby and my daughter both lift me. Will the boys be back next weekend, they obviously love your company and I'm sure they don't mind what you can or can't do. 

 

My legs are feeling pretty redundant at the moment too but I did try and flick a duster and shove a hoover around a little today. I love Disney movies and watched moonstruck this afternoon which I also love. One that lifted me the other week was as good as it gets with jack Nicholson Brilliant film.  If you get on that bike only do it gently and not for long to start with otherwise your body will complain again. 

 

Magnesium quarter of teaspoon in glass that I sip during the morning that's it and I really don't think my system is enjoying it and will have to leave it alone again for a couple of weeks and try again. I tried probiotic tablets but they really didn't go down well for me so stopped them too. Seems a bit better with the foot soak. I really like ginger and someone else recommended ginger tea, bash it down and stew in boiling water. My brain keeps forgetting and I must make a note to buy some. I drink water like it's going out of fashion. I'm at the tap all day. It's been a horrible day here today feels just like we have hit autumn already it's been raining virtually all day. 

 

Sunday tv we have a serial on at the moment that we watch called strike but find it difficult to concentrate on it. That restless feeling is horrible. You wish you could do something, anything but you just don't have the energy to do it. Maybe tomorrow. 

[JS11]

2 minutes ago, Scorpio said:

Hi JS

Thank you for those kind words. I was completely devastated when my mum died. I spoke to her daily and saw her three or four times a week. She was becoming frail but she was as sharp as a button. Yes the baby and my daughter both lift me. Will the boys be back next weekend, they obviously love your company and I'm sure they don't mind what you can or can't do. 

 

My legs are feeling pretty redundant at the moment too but I did try and flick a duster and shove a hoover around a little today. I love Disney movies and watched moonstruck this afternoon which I also love. One that lifted me the other week was as good as it gets with jack Nicholson Brilliant film.  If you get on that bike only do it gently and not for long to start with otherwise your body will complain again. 

 

Magnesium quarter of teaspoon in glass that I sip during the morning that's it and I really don't think my system is enjoying it and will have to leave it alone again for a couple of weeks and try again. I tried probiotic tablets but they really didn't go down well for me so stopped them too. Seems a bit better with the foot soak. I really like ginger and someone else recommended ginger tea, bash it down and stew in boiling water. My brain keeps forgetting and I must make a note to buy some. I drink water like it's going out of fashion. I'm at the tap all day. It's been a horrible day here today feels just like we have hit autumn already it's been raining virtually all day. 

 

Sunday tv we have a serial on at the moment that we watch called strike but find it difficult to concentrate on it. That restless feeling is horrible. You wish you could do something, anything but you just don't have the energy to do it. Maybe tomorrow. 

You are so welcome.  My mum was my rock too.  She was a a tiny thing, 5 feet she would make sure to include the half inch! and 100lbs, but boy what a presence.  She was always laughing and filled with so much joy.   Passed from cancer after 3 and a half years.  I was on the phone with her constantly as well.  I moved in with my dad 8 very long years ago.  He has dementia.  Been taking care of him and boys, the best that I can, which has been all over the place.  All you can do I suppose, but didn't take care of me.  Now paying that price.  

 

We have to move, either have a week or two to leave family home of 45 years.   Long story, but dad got involved in mortgage scam. Tragic.  We can move in with my brother temporarily, but that is a difficult option as he lives an hour from town  I work, well must start again, much anxiety about that, and I am on an on-call basis, teaching.  Was a long ago career which I left, had another, then did the caring and returned to it last couple years.  Need to get full time to support myself.  Dad needs to go to a care home.  The thought of trying to cope with kids....scary.  Trying not to go to far in advance but must.  Just overwhelmed in the middle of all of this.  Don't know if too personal but there it is.  Rather want to forget it all at the moment.

 

Funny you should mention the Jack Nickolson as that is exactly the movie I was thinking of when I talked about the feet stomping.  I saw Moonstruck years ago.  Love Cher.  What a woman.  Yes, I am a sucker for sappy movies.  I love happy endings.  Need some of those.

 

I probably should add more water to my Magnesium as I only put in a bit and then it disappears after a couple of drinks.  At least it would last longer that way.  

 

Yes, I think we are all delicate creatures, even if we weren't before.  

 

There are some ginger candies, I think Asian, don't know if you have them there, don't have to mess with the plant, can just eat or pop into a cup of boiling water.  The easy way out.  Must have something like that there. I'd say the shop but know how we both feel about that.  

 

Rain sounds refreshing as it is supposed to be scorching here--100 F.  I know though that with the rain can come but oh the grey.  Yuck.  Yes, Autumn already does seem soon for you.  

 

I'm so impressed you dusted and hoovered.  Wow!  I have managed very little.  Packing boxes everywhere.  When people say Spring cleaning I say Controlled burn as sometimes I just don't know what to do with all this stuff.  I save everything, which doesn't help matters.  Been averting my eyes and throwing things away, but oh tough.

 

I hope your anxiety has eased a bit.  You hopefully should be going to bed.  May your sleep be so very restful my friend.

Only sweet dreams, none of that other nasty stuff.

take care,

JS

 

 

[JS11]

1 hour ago, bubble said:

Congrats JS!

 

Here is a must read. Helped me understand what is actually happening with our brains and gave me patience and hope: 

 

Thanks Bubble, no news as of yet.  Yes, I think MammaP gave me this link, although I could certainly read it again as I have been sifting through so much that a lot of it hasn't settled yet.  

[Scorpio]

18 hours ago, bubble said:

I'm sorry to hear that Scorpio.

 

Food and alcohol in particular definitely upset our fragile brains. Alcohol is a big no. Not even an occasional glass of wine. In particular since you have such strongly pronounced digestive tract symptoms you would benefit from being extra careful about what you eat and note correlations between the type of food you eat and the increase in your symptoms. Processed food and preservatives are not really good for anyone and for us in particular. A lot of people feel better with eliminating sugar, gluten, dairy. 

 

It is a struggle when we don't have the energy to live let alone shop for heathy groceries and cook but what can we do... 

 

Once a window opens it means it will open again...

 

Hi bubble 

hell again from 2am. Hot sweats. Nausea. Stomach playing tunes  tinnitus raging  burning legs and anxiety through the roof. 

I think the magnesium foot soak and melatonin are a failed experiment and can only think the emotional day yesterday exacerbated things. This is so hard and so frightening