Scorpio Posted September 25, 2017 Author Share Posted September 25, 2017 Hello bubble don't know if you caught any of my posts over the last few days but been in a nightmare. Woke up in bad way Saturday but pushed myself to see daughter and baby in the afternoon. Then whilst picking up the baby my back went. An old injury of two torn discs which when torn secrete their liquid into the nerve canal. Hence the past three days have been agony and my symptoms from lexapro have all visited badly. I am in a bit of a state very frightened that this will not balance out. 8mg then nothing then 1mg for 10 weeks I feel despair that there will be no improvement for me. Have I cooked my brain beyond recovery 2006 After sudden death of mother put on 20mg of citaloprom for depression. 2014 Drug stopped working after two weeks of panic attacks felt fine. Aug 2014. Doctor put me on lyrica for rash on face, diarrhoea, sleeplessness,muscle cramp, bruising. Initial dose too strong, halved dose. Stopped taking it 22/10/14 2014 severe anxiety after several ssri's attempted, seem to have developed severe sensitivity to any drug, but giving severe reactions put on cipralex drop form.started on 2 drops and had to increase by 1 drop every 3 days. Eventually got to 12 drops and had to stop as side effects every step of the way dreadful. Psychiatrist kept telling me to stick with it and my body would get used to it. Eventually down to 8 drops. Bad reactions throughout the time I was on it Have been on this until may 2017. Stopped over two weeks. Felt fine for 5 weeks after initial dizziness, nightmares, nausea, insomnia. Given diazepam by gp and told to take them when anxiety bad. Have only taken them very rarely as they frighten me. Last two weeks severe anxiety returned and feeling hopeless 11July 2017. Cipralex 2mg. Anxiety, nausea still severe 13 July 2017 Cipralex 1mg due to advice of too high dosage by kind person on thus site. so dropped from 2mg to 1mg and feelings of anxiety still at severe. As well as nausea, headaches, fatigue. 15 July still feeling extremely anxious verging on panic. Nausea, feelings of fainting, fatigue. Lots of head pains 3 August. Three weeks into trying to stabilise on one drop of cipralex. Still have waking from 4am. Sporadic upset stomach. Nausea. High anxiety. Throbbing/burning in nether regions seems to have eased for time being but stabbing/burning in calves of legs. Tinnitus. Occasional half to whole better days but mainly still struggling. Fatigue Link to comment
Moderator Emeritus bubble Posted September 25, 2017 Moderator Emeritus Share Posted September 25, 2017 I'm sorry to hear you are struggling, especially with the added hurt of the discs. I also haven't bounced back after a month but gently pushed myself to a few hours of forest time on Saturday, farmers' market, clothes shopping and a yoga class on Sunday - close to what 'regular' people do except that I did it through a tick fog of mental yuckiness which would briefly clear here and there. Also waiting for better times and enduring in the meantime. I see that you mention mindfulness practice. It's normal that your thoughts will be running. That's why it is called practice. We just practice letting go off our thoughts. Sometimes we succeed, other times not. But this is all building a meditation muscle which in turn builds a sturdier and calmer brain. When I read through your posts especially when you say 4 hours ago, Scorpio said: the past three days have been agony and my symptoms from lexapro have all visited badly. it reminds me of two things: the rubic cube way of healing: things keep going back to square one (because they are being repaired at some other place). The second: if things have been horrible and worse for the last 3 days it means that before that it was better (although it didn't seem like that because it wasn't what we would want it to be). So we can say that how you felt 3 days ago is your baseline and we can expect you will return to it and it will be improved. Fear is also a symptom. In the same way as anxiety, insomnia, nausea and everything else. Thinking that there will be no improvement and that there's been some lasting damage is another such symptom. It always goes hand in hand with return of symptoms. But since these are our thoughts and emotions we can't really distance ourselves from them and can't call them out: you are just symptoms. You are not true. I would just continue with self-care and calming. I do daily calm every morning. It's 10 minutes. Then I do 7 days of calm or 7 days of managing stress or something like that and then a sleep story in the evening. I like colouring (for adults somebody wrote how good it is for the anxious brain. How do you spend your day? I think you mentioned a garden. I have a small patch in front of the building. I potter around it even when I feel horrible. It's called fake it till you make it. Just doing things which once gave us pleasure to remind our brain of good times and helping it return to that state sooner. I like this video also: I think that we can say that you have had times and moments when things were tolerable since 13 July: looking after the grandchild, going for a boat trip... It was a struggle but it was better than the worst of it and then you are feeling at the moment. This would all indicate that you are on the right track and better days are ahead. I hope this wave exhausts itself soon! Current: 9/2022 Xanax 0.08, Lexapro 2 2020 Xanax 0.26 (down from 2 mg in 2013), Lexapro 2.85 mg (down from 5 mg 2013) Amitriptyline (tricyclic AD) and clonazepam for 3 months to treat headache in 1996 1999. - present Xanax prn up to 3 mg. 2000-2005 Prozac CT twice, 2005-2010 Zoloft CT 3 times, 2010-2013 Escitalopram 10 mg went from 2.5 to zero on 7 Aug 2013, bad crash 40 days afterreinstated to 5 mg Escitalopram 4Oct 2013 and holding liquid Xanax every 5 hours 28 Jan 2014 Xanax 1.9, 18 Apr 2015 1 mg, 25 June 2015 Lex 4.8, 6 Aug Lexapro 4.6, 1 Jan 2016 0.64 Xanax 9 month hold 24 Sept 2016 4.5 Lex, 17 Oct 4.4 Lex (Nov 0.63 Xanax, Dec 0.625 Xanax), 1 Jan 2017 4.3 Lex, 24 Jan 4.2, 5 Feb 4.1, 24 Mar 4 mg, 10 Apr 3.9 mg, May 3.85, June 3.8, July 3.75, 22 July 3.7, 15 Aug 3.65, 17 Sept 3.6, 1 Jan 2018 3.55, 19 Jan 3.5, 16 Mar 3.4, 14 Apr 3.3, 23 May 3.2, 16 June 3.15, 15 Jul 3.1, 31 Jul 3, 21 Aug 2.9 26 Sept 2.85, 14 Nov Xan 0.61, 1 Dec 0.59, 19 Dec 0.58, 4 Jan 0.565, 6 Feb 0.55, 20 Feb 0.535, 1 Mar 0.505, 10 Mar 0.475, 14 Mar 0.45, 4 Apr 0.415, 13 Apr 0.37, 21 Apr 0.33, 29 Apr 0.29, 10 May 0.27, 17 May 0.25, 28 May 0.22, 19 June 0.22, 21 Jun updose to 0.24, 24 Jun updose to 0.26 Supplements: Omega 3 + Vit E, Vit C, D, magnesium, Taurine, probiotic I'm not a medical professional. Any advice I give is based on my own experience and reading. Link to comment
Scorpio Posted September 25, 2017 Author Share Posted September 25, 2017 Hi bubble i think I need you just sitting on my shoulder repeating all your sensible and reassuring points every time I lose hope. It is hell at the moment the back pain is stopping me from doing anything other than look like Quasimodo and all the horrible symptoms just add to the misery. 'Thank you for the link will have a look at it and also I'm sorry you are dragging yourself through another down spell. Brilliant you can manage to keep going the way you do. I tend to try and read or play brain games etc in my iPad to try and distract myself. I know the back trauma has just shoved me back again but as you know whilst going trough it logic flies out the window. My garden is a bit of a wilderness at the moment so not like me but since July just haven't been able to gather the energy to tackle it. 'Thank you bubble I am sure you don't realise how much support you give to me and many others. 2006 After sudden death of mother put on 20mg of citaloprom for depression. 2014 Drug stopped working after two weeks of panic attacks felt fine. Aug 2014. Doctor put me on lyrica for rash on face, diarrhoea, sleeplessness,muscle cramp, bruising. Initial dose too strong, halved dose. Stopped taking it 22/10/14 2014 severe anxiety after several ssri's attempted, seem to have developed severe sensitivity to any drug, but giving severe reactions put on cipralex drop form.started on 2 drops and had to increase by 1 drop every 3 days. Eventually got to 12 drops and had to stop as side effects every step of the way dreadful. Psychiatrist kept telling me to stick with it and my body would get used to it. Eventually down to 8 drops. Bad reactions throughout the time I was on it Have been on this until may 2017. Stopped over two weeks. Felt fine for 5 weeks after initial dizziness, nightmares, nausea, insomnia. Given diazepam by gp and told to take them when anxiety bad. Have only taken them very rarely as they frighten me. Last two weeks severe anxiety returned and feeling hopeless 11July 2017. Cipralex 2mg. Anxiety, nausea still severe 13 July 2017 Cipralex 1mg due to advice of too high dosage by kind person on thus site. so dropped from 2mg to 1mg and feelings of anxiety still at severe. As well as nausea, headaches, fatigue. 15 July still feeling extremely anxious verging on panic. Nausea, feelings of fainting, fatigue. Lots of head pains 3 August. Three weeks into trying to stabilise on one drop of cipralex. Still have waking from 4am. Sporadic upset stomach. Nausea. High anxiety. Throbbing/burning in nether regions seems to have eased for time being but stabbing/burning in calves of legs. Tinnitus. Occasional half to whole better days but mainly still struggling. Fatigue Link to comment
Moderator Emeritus bubble Posted September 25, 2017 Moderator Emeritus Share Posted September 25, 2017 A bit of a lame joke: for all we know my poor brain might be in a worse shape-I commiserate with you about your back injury and then enclose a video with exercises for the back But you see, after all these years of mulfunctioning I just do the best I can. I keep mentioning that book Embracing Uncertainty all the time because it really left an impression on me. I think I finally understood what acceptance means: not feeling bad about our gardens being wilderness but being grateful that we have a garden, find beauty in its wild state, feel grateful for all the nice moments it gave us, feel grateful that we are still here and so on. Just sitting in the garden (if the thought of all the things you could/should do doesn't upset you This period of not being like ourselves is teaching us something. My favourite pastime during bad spells is reading reassuring posts. I'm very fortunate that my mind just dismisses doom and gloom. Even if those thoughts were right (which they are not!), it's better to be happy than right (Susan Jeffers says In other words doom and gloom serves us no purpose and as you so logic is the first to go out of the window. Better times ahead. Maybe just round this bend Current: 9/2022 Xanax 0.08, Lexapro 2 2020 Xanax 0.26 (down from 2 mg in 2013), Lexapro 2.85 mg (down from 5 mg 2013) Amitriptyline (tricyclic AD) and clonazepam for 3 months to treat headache in 1996 1999. - present Xanax prn up to 3 mg. 2000-2005 Prozac CT twice, 2005-2010 Zoloft CT 3 times, 2010-2013 Escitalopram 10 mg went from 2.5 to zero on 7 Aug 2013, bad crash 40 days afterreinstated to 5 mg Escitalopram 4Oct 2013 and holding liquid Xanax every 5 hours 28 Jan 2014 Xanax 1.9, 18 Apr 2015 1 mg, 25 June 2015 Lex 4.8, 6 Aug Lexapro 4.6, 1 Jan 2016 0.64 Xanax 9 month hold 24 Sept 2016 4.5 Lex, 17 Oct 4.4 Lex (Nov 0.63 Xanax, Dec 0.625 Xanax), 1 Jan 2017 4.3 Lex, 24 Jan 4.2, 5 Feb 4.1, 24 Mar 4 mg, 10 Apr 3.9 mg, May 3.85, June 3.8, July 3.75, 22 July 3.7, 15 Aug 3.65, 17 Sept 3.6, 1 Jan 2018 3.55, 19 Jan 3.5, 16 Mar 3.4, 14 Apr 3.3, 23 May 3.2, 16 June 3.15, 15 Jul 3.1, 31 Jul 3, 21 Aug 2.9 26 Sept 2.85, 14 Nov Xan 0.61, 1 Dec 0.59, 19 Dec 0.58, 4 Jan 0.565, 6 Feb 0.55, 20 Feb 0.535, 1 Mar 0.505, 10 Mar 0.475, 14 Mar 0.45, 4 Apr 0.415, 13 Apr 0.37, 21 Apr 0.33, 29 Apr 0.29, 10 May 0.27, 17 May 0.25, 28 May 0.22, 19 June 0.22, 21 Jun updose to 0.24, 24 Jun updose to 0.26 Supplements: Omega 3 + Vit E, Vit C, D, magnesium, Taurine, probiotic I'm not a medical professional. Any advice I give is based on my own experience and reading. Link to comment
Scorpio Posted September 25, 2017 Author Share Posted September 25, 2017 Hi bubble back exercise will come later. I hope the better times are coming very soon for both of us and all the others on here needing relief. 2006 After sudden death of mother put on 20mg of citaloprom for depression. 2014 Drug stopped working after two weeks of panic attacks felt fine. Aug 2014. Doctor put me on lyrica for rash on face, diarrhoea, sleeplessness,muscle cramp, bruising. Initial dose too strong, halved dose. Stopped taking it 22/10/14 2014 severe anxiety after several ssri's attempted, seem to have developed severe sensitivity to any drug, but giving severe reactions put on cipralex drop form.started on 2 drops and had to increase by 1 drop every 3 days. Eventually got to 12 drops and had to stop as side effects every step of the way dreadful. Psychiatrist kept telling me to stick with it and my body would get used to it. Eventually down to 8 drops. Bad reactions throughout the time I was on it Have been on this until may 2017. Stopped over two weeks. Felt fine for 5 weeks after initial dizziness, nightmares, nausea, insomnia. Given diazepam by gp and told to take them when anxiety bad. Have only taken them very rarely as they frighten me. Last two weeks severe anxiety returned and feeling hopeless 11July 2017. Cipralex 2mg. Anxiety, nausea still severe 13 July 2017 Cipralex 1mg due to advice of too high dosage by kind person on thus site. so dropped from 2mg to 1mg and feelings of anxiety still at severe. As well as nausea, headaches, fatigue. 15 July still feeling extremely anxious verging on panic. Nausea, feelings of fainting, fatigue. Lots of head pains 3 August. Three weeks into trying to stabilise on one drop of cipralex. Still have waking from 4am. Sporadic upset stomach. Nausea. High anxiety. Throbbing/burning in nether regions seems to have eased for time being but stabbing/burning in calves of legs. Tinnitus. Occasional half to whole better days but mainly still struggling. Fatigue Link to comment
Flowers Posted September 28, 2017 Share Posted September 28, 2017 Hello Scorpio Thought I would just stop by and introduce myself. I was reading through someone's thread and saw that you come from Portsmouth. I live in Spain but was originally from Gosport! I don't get to go home much these days but love Gunwharf! I miss the shops at home and the fact they open on Sundays unlike here. I am so sorry you have been suffering but this is a fantastic site to get support and advice to put you on the right road to get well. What a shame you hurt your back too to add to the stress of all this. I haven't had the best year and am trying to stabilise too before continuing on with my taper. At least with the support here we don't feel alone in our continuing struggles! Best Wishes from Flowers xxx Hope things 15 yrs on 20 to 30 mgs CITALOPRAM. MAY 2014 Increased to 40 mgs per day.SEPT/NOV 2014 tapered in 6 weeks down to 10 mgs as per Dr instructions due to violent nightmares/palpitations.Given Noctamid (lormetazepam) to help with anxiety. On average took 2mg per day for 8 weeks.No taper was advised.DEC 2014 WD severe. Nervous tic in eyes and limbs, muscle pain,fluct temp, weakness, dep and anxiety, nausea, giddy, unstable when walking. Different Dr suggested taking 20mgs CIT. BROMAZEPAM 3mgs up to 3 x daily for anxiety.DEC 9 2014 Updose CIT to 30mgs. Only taking BROMAZEPAM in emergency.DEC 31 2014 Settling at 30mg CIT - helping with depression. No Brom for 2wks.Found SA.APR 2015 Trying to stabilise on 30mgs CIT. JAN 2016 Started Cit Taper reducing by 5% per month. 28.5 mgs FEB Taper held bereavement. APR Taper resumed 27mgs . MAY 25.50 mgs . JUNE 24 mgs . JULY I stupidly mixed up my BP meds with CIT. Consequently took no CIT for 3 days and doubled my BP meds. Waiting for the fallout....Holding for a while until any chance of repercussions have abated. SEPT taper resumed to 22.5 mgs . OCT 21 mgs .NOV 19.95 mgs DEC crashed. 2017: FEB 3rd updose to 20.5 mgs to try to stabilise.FEB.switched over to 75mgs of Venlafaxine XR for 3 weeks.Too stimulating so switching back to Cit. 12 March 37.5 Ven and 20 Cit. 21 March 18mg Ven 20mg Cit. 4 April 9mg Ven 20mg Cit. Xanax .50mg when needed. 13 April 0 mgs Ven, 20mg Citalopram. Xanax .50 mg per day. 5 May reinstated a small amount of Ven to stabilize 1 mg twice a day. 20 mg Citalopram at night. Xanax .25 mg twice per day.Other Meds: Losartan (BP)Started 1993 at 50 mgs at night. Seretide (Asthma) Started 1996 at 1 puff twice a day. Jan 2019 Antibiotic Ceclor 500mgs twice a day for bronchitis and Atrovent 2ml capsules twice a day for asthma. Finished the course of both Jan 17. XANAX Jan 27 - Feb 3 2019 Failed Valium Crossover. Feb 14 2019 Updosed Xanax by .0625 Feb 17 2019 Decreased Xanax by .0625. Back to .50mg daily. Update Xanax 28.2.20 tapered to .1250 mg 8am .25 mg midnight. Update Xanax 11.8.21 tapered to .25 mg at night. Current Meds 28.2.19: CITALOPRAM 20mg taken at midnight. VENLAFAXINE .9 mg twice a day at 8am and 10pm. XANAX .50 mg split into 4 doses per day. 10am .0625mg / 2pm .1250mg/ 6pm .0625mg / midnight .25mg.Update 10.8.22 .25 mg at night. LOSARTAN 50 mgs taken at midnight. SERETIDE 1 puff taken at 8am and 10pm. 7.7.19 VENLAFAXINE UPDATE: Started tapering 10% every 4 weeks. Currently .4 mg twice a day at 8am and 10 pm. 2.9.19 .36 mg x 2. 1.10.19 .32 mg x 2. 26.11.19 .29 mg x2. 26.12.19 .26 mg x 2. 23.1.20 .23 mg x 2. 20.2.20 .21 mg x2.20.3.20 .19 mg x 2. 21.4.20 .17 mg x 2. 19.5.20 .13 mg x 2. 18.6.20 .11mg x 2 .18.7.20.10 mg x 2.1.9.20.09 mg x 2. 30.9. 20 .08 mg x 2. 1.11.20 .07 mg x 2. 2.12.20 .06 mg x 2. 8.1.21 .05 mg x 2. 4.2.21 .04 mg x 2. 9.3.21 .03 mgx2. 7.4.21 .02 mg x 2. 9.5.21 .01 mg x 2. 21.6.21 .01 mg x 1. 11.8.21 ZERO! Link to comment
Scorpio Posted September 28, 2017 Author Share Posted September 28, 2017 Hello flowers thank you for writing and yes it's nice to talk to a fellow Brit. Especially a Hampshire one. Granada is a beautiful city have you lived there long? I can see you have also been through the wringer isn't it hell but as you say thank goodness for the support on here. It has made me feel less alone and thinking I was just imagining everything. Gunwharf is thriving. We were there last week and it is such an easy place to enjoy. Do you get home very often? Yes my back is very painful but I am not helping by picking up my little grandson even though under strict orders not to. I find it impossible to not react when his arms reach out for me. Today I have all the symptoms back again so not very happy but hopefully tomorrow will be better. Stabilising is taking so long but according to bubble she was three or four months before she felt any relief I am 11 weeks today so hoping it will get better soon. Do you get the same symptoms anxiety, nausea, tinnitus, dizzy, bowel cramping yuk or do you have different ones. We had a lovely sunny day today so unusual for nearly October isn't it. I am sure you are bathed in hot sunshine most days you lucky thing. 2006 After sudden death of mother put on 20mg of citaloprom for depression. 2014 Drug stopped working after two weeks of panic attacks felt fine. Aug 2014. Doctor put me on lyrica for rash on face, diarrhoea, sleeplessness,muscle cramp, bruising. Initial dose too strong, halved dose. Stopped taking it 22/10/14 2014 severe anxiety after several ssri's attempted, seem to have developed severe sensitivity to any drug, but giving severe reactions put on cipralex drop form.started on 2 drops and had to increase by 1 drop every 3 days. Eventually got to 12 drops and had to stop as side effects every step of the way dreadful. Psychiatrist kept telling me to stick with it and my body would get used to it. Eventually down to 8 drops. Bad reactions throughout the time I was on it Have been on this until may 2017. Stopped over two weeks. Felt fine for 5 weeks after initial dizziness, nightmares, nausea, insomnia. Given diazepam by gp and told to take them when anxiety bad. Have only taken them very rarely as they frighten me. Last two weeks severe anxiety returned and feeling hopeless 11July 2017. Cipralex 2mg. Anxiety, nausea still severe 13 July 2017 Cipralex 1mg due to advice of too high dosage by kind person on thus site. so dropped from 2mg to 1mg and feelings of anxiety still at severe. As well as nausea, headaches, fatigue. 15 July still feeling extremely anxious verging on panic. Nausea, feelings of fainting, fatigue. Lots of head pains 3 August. Three weeks into trying to stabilise on one drop of cipralex. Still have waking from 4am. Sporadic upset stomach. Nausea. High anxiety. Throbbing/burning in nether regions seems to have eased for time being but stabbing/burning in calves of legs. Tinnitus. Occasional half to whole better days but mainly still struggling. Fatigue Link to comment
Flowers Posted September 28, 2017 Share Posted September 28, 2017 We have lived here for 14 years now - we are on the coast near Granada as due to my roots I always like to be near the sea! I used to get back a lot more than I do now. The flights are so expensive and I have had to cancel several trips due to feeling unwell with the WD lark! We are due to come back end of November and I am stressing about it already in case I don't feel well enough to travel and ruin our holiday! Grrhhhh! It must be hard to resist your sweet grandson. I expect it makes you feel a little better having him around though to distract you from your symptoms. I get all the symptoms you do and am in a wave at the moment so feeling very nauseous. My weight yo yo's all the time. When I feel well in a window I eat well when I am in a wave I struggle to eat a slice of toast! When WD first hit after my Dr advised me to come off Citalopram in 6 weeks ( after taking it for 20 years) it took me a good 4 to 5 months to stabilise. I think it is early days for you really but if you are having some improvements even for part of a day then you are headed in the right direction. This all takes so much patience doesn't it? Is Cipralex Citalopram's big sister? I can imagine how lovely it would have been over there today in the sunshine. I do miss the British countryside, pub lunches and shops! We can't get much Brit food where we live so we go crazy in the supermarkets when we come over! We have had the hottest summer for many, many years here. They called it Lucifer! We badly need some rain or we will be in a drought situation. The summer is hell here with the crowds and heat but the other seasons are wonderful. It is still very hot here so we went up into the mountains on Monday where the air was cooler and quite refreshing. I will keep following you to see how you are doing. Take care. Love from Flowers xxx 15 yrs on 20 to 30 mgs CITALOPRAM. MAY 2014 Increased to 40 mgs per day.SEPT/NOV 2014 tapered in 6 weeks down to 10 mgs as per Dr instructions due to violent nightmares/palpitations.Given Noctamid (lormetazepam) to help with anxiety. On average took 2mg per day for 8 weeks.No taper was advised.DEC 2014 WD severe. Nervous tic in eyes and limbs, muscle pain,fluct temp, weakness, dep and anxiety, nausea, giddy, unstable when walking. Different Dr suggested taking 20mgs CIT. BROMAZEPAM 3mgs up to 3 x daily for anxiety.DEC 9 2014 Updose CIT to 30mgs. Only taking BROMAZEPAM in emergency.DEC 31 2014 Settling at 30mg CIT - helping with depression. No Brom for 2wks.Found SA.APR 2015 Trying to stabilise on 30mgs CIT. JAN 2016 Started Cit Taper reducing by 5% per month. 28.5 mgs FEB Taper held bereavement. APR Taper resumed 27mgs . MAY 25.50 mgs . JUNE 24 mgs . JULY I stupidly mixed up my BP meds with CIT. Consequently took no CIT for 3 days and doubled my BP meds. Waiting for the fallout....Holding for a while until any chance of repercussions have abated. SEPT taper resumed to 22.5 mgs . OCT 21 mgs .NOV 19.95 mgs DEC crashed. 2017: FEB 3rd updose to 20.5 mgs to try to stabilise.FEB.switched over to 75mgs of Venlafaxine XR for 3 weeks.Too stimulating so switching back to Cit. 12 March 37.5 Ven and 20 Cit. 21 March 18mg Ven 20mg Cit. 4 April 9mg Ven 20mg Cit. Xanax .50mg when needed. 13 April 0 mgs Ven, 20mg Citalopram. Xanax .50 mg per day. 5 May reinstated a small amount of Ven to stabilize 1 mg twice a day. 20 mg Citalopram at night. Xanax .25 mg twice per day.Other Meds: Losartan (BP)Started 1993 at 50 mgs at night. Seretide (Asthma) Started 1996 at 1 puff twice a day. Jan 2019 Antibiotic Ceclor 500mgs twice a day for bronchitis and Atrovent 2ml capsules twice a day for asthma. Finished the course of both Jan 17. XANAX Jan 27 - Feb 3 2019 Failed Valium Crossover. Feb 14 2019 Updosed Xanax by .0625 Feb 17 2019 Decreased Xanax by .0625. Back to .50mg daily. Update Xanax 28.2.20 tapered to .1250 mg 8am .25 mg midnight. Update Xanax 11.8.21 tapered to .25 mg at night. Current Meds 28.2.19: CITALOPRAM 20mg taken at midnight. VENLAFAXINE .9 mg twice a day at 8am and 10pm. XANAX .50 mg split into 4 doses per day. 10am .0625mg / 2pm .1250mg/ 6pm .0625mg / midnight .25mg.Update 10.8.22 .25 mg at night. LOSARTAN 50 mgs taken at midnight. SERETIDE 1 puff taken at 8am and 10pm. 7.7.19 VENLAFAXINE UPDATE: Started tapering 10% every 4 weeks. Currently .4 mg twice a day at 8am and 10 pm. 2.9.19 .36 mg x 2. 1.10.19 .32 mg x 2. 26.11.19 .29 mg x2. 26.12.19 .26 mg x 2. 23.1.20 .23 mg x 2. 20.2.20 .21 mg x2.20.3.20 .19 mg x 2. 21.4.20 .17 mg x 2. 19.5.20 .13 mg x 2. 18.6.20 .11mg x 2 .18.7.20.10 mg x 2.1.9.20.09 mg x 2. 30.9. 20 .08 mg x 2. 1.11.20 .07 mg x 2. 2.12.20 .06 mg x 2. 8.1.21 .05 mg x 2. 4.2.21 .04 mg x 2. 9.3.21 .03 mgx2. 7.4.21 .02 mg x 2. 9.5.21 .01 mg x 2. 21.6.21 .01 mg x 1. 11.8.21 ZERO! Link to comment
Scorpio Posted September 28, 2017 Author Share Posted September 28, 2017 8 minutes ago, Flowers said: We have lived here for 14 years now - we are on the coast near Granada as due to my roots I always like to be near the sea! I used to get back a lot more than I do now. The flights are so expensive and I have had to cancel several trips due to feeling unwell with the WD lark! We are due to come back end of November and I am stressing about it already in case I don't feel well enough to travel and ruin our holiday! Grrhhhh! It must be hard to resist your sweet grandson. I expect it makes you feel a little better having him around though to distract you from your symptoms. I get all the symptoms you do and am in a wave at the moment so feeling very nauseous. My weight yo yo's all the time. When I feel well in a window I eat well when I am in a wave I struggle to eat a slice of toast! When WD first hit after my Dr advised me to come off Citalopram in 6 weeks ( after taking it for 20 years) it took me a good 4 to 5 months to stabilise. I think it is early days for you really but if you are having some improvements even for part of a day then you are headed in the right direction. This all takes so much patience doesn't it? Is Cipralex Citalopram's big sister? I can imagine how lovely it would have been over there today in the sunshine. I do miss the British countryside, pub lunches and shops! We can't get much Brit food where we live so we go crazy in the supermarkets when we come over! We have had the hottest summer for many, many years here. They called it Lucifer! We badly need some rain or we will be in a drought situation. The summer is hell here with the crowds and heat but the other seasons are wonderful. It is still very hot here so we went up into the mountains on Monday where the air was cooler and quite refreshing. I will keep following you to see how you are doing. Take care. Love from Flowers xxx Hi flowers granada sounds wonderful even though you must have felt uncomfortable during excess heatwave. I know when we visited for a day while we were staying in nerja it was 42 degrees ouch very hot and such a dry heat. 'You make me feel better,sorry, saying it took you that length of time to stabilise. Hope for me yet then. Yes cipralex is liquid escalitoprom I became super sensitive to drugs after citaloprom pooped without realising that was the reason and it was the only thing I could take but had terrible reactions to it the whole time. Had to take one drop and increase every three days by one drop but could only get to 12 drops instead of 20 as side effects were awful. Took from November until march before I had a slight window and was a nightmare time. 'I am exactly the same I can eat and drink anything when in a window but when a wave is bad I can just about manage water and yoghurt if lucky. So my weight is far too low and I am decidedly skinny what with the back as well it doesn't make for a good look! 'I had to cancel our holiday in September as too ill to go, my poor husband had just retired and he fell ill with a cold caught from my grandson which turned into nasty infections in chest and kidneys so thank goodness we didn't go as it would have not been easy with him I'll. my daughter and family went unwillingly as first holiday with baby and yes not there to support them but they had a brilliant time so all worked out in the end. I look forward to a holiday when feeling stronger. Jude, my grandson, is one of the few things that makes me cope even when riddled with nausea and anxiety. I love him to bits and he us such a happy little thing it is infectious. Do you have a lot of family over here. Did you go to Granada for work or change of lifestyle. In fact looking at your history we both went through the start if our nightmare at the same time November 14. Must have been a bad year. I hope you keep strong and can enjoy coming over end of November the pubs will be lit up with decorations and the shops will be playing xmas music so it will definitely be Christmassy. 'Keep fighting. 2006 After sudden death of mother put on 20mg of citaloprom for depression. 2014 Drug stopped working after two weeks of panic attacks felt fine. Aug 2014. Doctor put me on lyrica for rash on face, diarrhoea, sleeplessness,muscle cramp, bruising. Initial dose too strong, halved dose. Stopped taking it 22/10/14 2014 severe anxiety after several ssri's attempted, seem to have developed severe sensitivity to any drug, but giving severe reactions put on cipralex drop form.started on 2 drops and had to increase by 1 drop every 3 days. Eventually got to 12 drops and had to stop as side effects every step of the way dreadful. Psychiatrist kept telling me to stick with it and my body would get used to it. Eventually down to 8 drops. Bad reactions throughout the time I was on it Have been on this until may 2017. Stopped over two weeks. Felt fine for 5 weeks after initial dizziness, nightmares, nausea, insomnia. Given diazepam by gp and told to take them when anxiety bad. Have only taken them very rarely as they frighten me. Last two weeks severe anxiety returned and feeling hopeless 11July 2017. Cipralex 2mg. Anxiety, nausea still severe 13 July 2017 Cipralex 1mg due to advice of too high dosage by kind person on thus site. so dropped from 2mg to 1mg and feelings of anxiety still at severe. As well as nausea, headaches, fatigue. 15 July still feeling extremely anxious verging on panic. Nausea, feelings of fainting, fatigue. Lots of head pains 3 August. Three weeks into trying to stabilise on one drop of cipralex. Still have waking from 4am. Sporadic upset stomach. Nausea. High anxiety. Throbbing/burning in nether regions seems to have eased for time being but stabbing/burning in calves of legs. Tinnitus. Occasional half to whole better days but mainly still struggling. Fatigue Link to comment
Flowers Posted September 28, 2017 Share Posted September 28, 2017 Hi Scorpio There is so much hope for you - I know it is hard as we can't get an instant result but it will happen in time. We do have many similarities in what has happened to us. You have had a tough time no wonder you have lost a lot of weight. Oh Dear! Sorry you had to cancel your holiday too. Sometimes I think things happen for a reason and if your husband had been on holiday and got as ill as he was it would have been terrible. I hope he is feeling better now. Nerja isn't far from us really. I like it there always lively even in winter. We had a holiday home here and liked the lifestyle so much we decided to live here full time. We work (me when I can) and don't have much family in the UK. So we had no real ties to keep us there. It is good that you have Jude to keep you going through the hard times. I don't have children but have animals who have been abandoned and we took them on. 2 dogs and 4 (soon to be 6) cats. It would be more if I had the room! They give me so much pleasure and I am so glad we could give them a good home. They are the babies we never had! Hope you have a good day tomorrow. Keep in touch. Love from Flowers xxx 15 yrs on 20 to 30 mgs CITALOPRAM. MAY 2014 Increased to 40 mgs per day.SEPT/NOV 2014 tapered in 6 weeks down to 10 mgs as per Dr instructions due to violent nightmares/palpitations.Given Noctamid (lormetazepam) to help with anxiety. On average took 2mg per day for 8 weeks.No taper was advised.DEC 2014 WD severe. Nervous tic in eyes and limbs, muscle pain,fluct temp, weakness, dep and anxiety, nausea, giddy, unstable when walking. Different Dr suggested taking 20mgs CIT. BROMAZEPAM 3mgs up to 3 x daily for anxiety.DEC 9 2014 Updose CIT to 30mgs. Only taking BROMAZEPAM in emergency.DEC 31 2014 Settling at 30mg CIT - helping with depression. No Brom for 2wks.Found SA.APR 2015 Trying to stabilise on 30mgs CIT. JAN 2016 Started Cit Taper reducing by 5% per month. 28.5 mgs FEB Taper held bereavement. APR Taper resumed 27mgs . MAY 25.50 mgs . JUNE 24 mgs . JULY I stupidly mixed up my BP meds with CIT. Consequently took no CIT for 3 days and doubled my BP meds. Waiting for the fallout....Holding for a while until any chance of repercussions have abated. SEPT taper resumed to 22.5 mgs . OCT 21 mgs .NOV 19.95 mgs DEC crashed. 2017: FEB 3rd updose to 20.5 mgs to try to stabilise.FEB.switched over to 75mgs of Venlafaxine XR for 3 weeks.Too stimulating so switching back to Cit. 12 March 37.5 Ven and 20 Cit. 21 March 18mg Ven 20mg Cit. 4 April 9mg Ven 20mg Cit. Xanax .50mg when needed. 13 April 0 mgs Ven, 20mg Citalopram. Xanax .50 mg per day. 5 May reinstated a small amount of Ven to stabilize 1 mg twice a day. 20 mg Citalopram at night. Xanax .25 mg twice per day.Other Meds: Losartan (BP)Started 1993 at 50 mgs at night. Seretide (Asthma) Started 1996 at 1 puff twice a day. Jan 2019 Antibiotic Ceclor 500mgs twice a day for bronchitis and Atrovent 2ml capsules twice a day for asthma. Finished the course of both Jan 17. XANAX Jan 27 - Feb 3 2019 Failed Valium Crossover. Feb 14 2019 Updosed Xanax by .0625 Feb 17 2019 Decreased Xanax by .0625. Back to .50mg daily. Update Xanax 28.2.20 tapered to .1250 mg 8am .25 mg midnight. Update Xanax 11.8.21 tapered to .25 mg at night. Current Meds 28.2.19: CITALOPRAM 20mg taken at midnight. VENLAFAXINE .9 mg twice a day at 8am and 10pm. XANAX .50 mg split into 4 doses per day. 10am .0625mg / 2pm .1250mg/ 6pm .0625mg / midnight .25mg.Update 10.8.22 .25 mg at night. LOSARTAN 50 mgs taken at midnight. SERETIDE 1 puff taken at 8am and 10pm. 7.7.19 VENLAFAXINE UPDATE: Started tapering 10% every 4 weeks. Currently .4 mg twice a day at 8am and 10 pm. 2.9.19 .36 mg x 2. 1.10.19 .32 mg x 2. 26.11.19 .29 mg x2. 26.12.19 .26 mg x 2. 23.1.20 .23 mg x 2. 20.2.20 .21 mg x2.20.3.20 .19 mg x 2. 21.4.20 .17 mg x 2. 19.5.20 .13 mg x 2. 18.6.20 .11mg x 2 .18.7.20.10 mg x 2.1.9.20.09 mg x 2. 30.9. 20 .08 mg x 2. 1.11.20 .07 mg x 2. 2.12.20 .06 mg x 2. 8.1.21 .05 mg x 2. 4.2.21 .04 mg x 2. 9.3.21 .03 mgx2. 7.4.21 .02 mg x 2. 9.5.21 .01 mg x 2. 21.6.21 .01 mg x 1. 11.8.21 ZERO! Link to comment
Scorpio Posted September 29, 2017 Author Share Posted September 29, 2017 19 hours ago, Flowers said: Hi Scorpio There is so much hope for you - I know it is hard as we can't get an instant result but it will happen in time. We do have many similarities in what has happened to us. You have had a tough time no wonder you have lost a lot of weight. Oh Dear! Sorry you had to cancel your holiday too. Sometimes I think things happen for a reason and if your husband had been on holiday and got as ill as he was it would have been terrible. I hope he is feeling better now. Nerja isn't far from us really. I like it there always lively even in winter. We had a holiday home here and liked the lifestyle so much we decided to live here full time. We work (me when I can) and don't have much family in the UK. So we had no real ties to keep us there. It is good that you have Jude to keep you going through the hard times. I don't have children but have animals who have been abandoned and we took them on. 2 dogs and 4 (soon to be 6) cats. It would be more if I had the room! They give me so much pleasure and I am so glad we could give them a good home. They are the babies we never had! Hope you have a good day tomorrow. Keep in touch. Love from Flowers xxx Hi flowers it is now 4pm and have had another rotten day. Took melatonin last night to try and help the sleep but yes it did although not a refreshing sleep and then high anxiety, nausea etc etc all day plus back killing me. Oh well another day got through. My daughter and Jude came in again for a couple of hours and yes picked him up again but can't help it although doing myself no good. I really enjoyed Nerja and we had a good holiday. How lovely to be surrounded by your pets and when you say 4 soon to be 6 is that because you have chosen two more? I'm sure animals like babies are very therapeutic and firmly believe they make us feel better. We don't have any now we did have two cats but because we love (or should say loved) our holidays it just wasn't fair for us to get anymore as my mum had died and she used to come and look after them. Had a bad experience with a cattery the one and only time we used one. I read your thread this this morning and oh my goodness what horrible times you have gone through. It makes my experience a walk in the park. I admire your determination and the way you pick yourself up and continue. Bubble and others have suggested the mindfulness and meditation and I do keep trying but just think my brain is wired differently as I just cannot concentrate enough to get the relief and end up even more frustrated. I have tried the legs up the wall but the dizziness kicks in so left that for a time when I can hopefully keep a straight head. I find this whole 11 weeks so frightening as the many bad days far outweigh the good but reading your story gives me hope I will get more. Hopefully not too far away. I hope you are feeling better and done if your horrible symptoms have eased. 2006 After sudden death of mother put on 20mg of citaloprom for depression. 2014 Drug stopped working after two weeks of panic attacks felt fine. Aug 2014. Doctor put me on lyrica for rash on face, diarrhoea, sleeplessness,muscle cramp, bruising. Initial dose too strong, halved dose. Stopped taking it 22/10/14 2014 severe anxiety after several ssri's attempted, seem to have developed severe sensitivity to any drug, but giving severe reactions put on cipralex drop form.started on 2 drops and had to increase by 1 drop every 3 days. Eventually got to 12 drops and had to stop as side effects every step of the way dreadful. Psychiatrist kept telling me to stick with it and my body would get used to it. Eventually down to 8 drops. Bad reactions throughout the time I was on it Have been on this until may 2017. Stopped over two weeks. Felt fine for 5 weeks after initial dizziness, nightmares, nausea, insomnia. Given diazepam by gp and told to take them when anxiety bad. Have only taken them very rarely as they frighten me. Last two weeks severe anxiety returned and feeling hopeless 11July 2017. Cipralex 2mg. Anxiety, nausea still severe 13 July 2017 Cipralex 1mg due to advice of too high dosage by kind person on thus site. so dropped from 2mg to 1mg and feelings of anxiety still at severe. As well as nausea, headaches, fatigue. 15 July still feeling extremely anxious verging on panic. Nausea, feelings of fainting, fatigue. Lots of head pains 3 August. Three weeks into trying to stabilise on one drop of cipralex. Still have waking from 4am. Sporadic upset stomach. Nausea. High anxiety. Throbbing/burning in nether regions seems to have eased for time being but stabbing/burning in calves of legs. Tinnitus. Occasional half to whole better days but mainly still struggling. Fatigue Link to comment
Moderator brassmonkey Posted September 29, 2017 Moderator Share Posted September 29, 2017 Instead of picking him up, sit down and let him crawl into your lap. Same result and less strain on the back. 20 years on Paxil starting at 20mg and working up to 40mg. Sept 2011 started 10% every 6 weeks taper (2.5% every week for 4 weeks then hold for 2 additional weeks), currently at 7.9mg. Oct 2011 CTed 15oz vodka a night, to only drinking 2 beers most nights, totally sober Feb 2013. Since I wrote this I have continued to decrease my dose by 10% every 6 weeks (2.5% every week for 4 weeks and then hold for an additional 2 weeks). I added in an extra 6 week hold when I hit 10mg to let things settle out even more. When I hit 3mgpw it became hard to split the drop into 4 parts so I switched to dropping 1mgpw (pill weight) every week for 3 weeks and then holding for another 3 weeks. The 3 + 3 schedule turned out to be too harsh so I cut back to dropping 1mgpw every 4 weeks which is working better. Final Dose 0.016mg. Current dose 0.000mg 04-15-2017 "It's also important not to become angry, no matter how difficult life is, because you can loose all hope if you can't laugh at yourself and at life in general." Stephen Hawking Link to comment
Flowers Posted September 29, 2017 Share Posted September 29, 2017 Hi Scorpio Sorry you have had a bad day. Anxiety is the pits isn't it? I think being laid up with a bad back isn't helping you either you poor thing. At least you had a visit from your daughter and Jude to cheer you up. Have you looked at Headspace on the internet? I think you can get it for free. It is a mindfulness site but very relaxing and someone talks you through it until you get enough practice to do it on your own. It took some time to work but has helped me so much. Laying down with your feet up the wall is a bit tricky if you are dizzy and nauseous. Have you tried progressive muscle relaxation exercises? There are lots on youtube. You could do it last thing at night in bed while you are waiting for your melatonin to take effect to get you some practice in relaxing. I go to bed an hour before my husband to read and do these exercises. They really help me but again took awhile to get the hang of it. Even deep breathing can relax you a little. We have some friends who are selling their house and can't take the wild cats in their garden with them so we have offered to take them on once the sale of their house goes through. They are a tie but we live in the countryside so can get someone to pop over and feed them everyday and they are all happier being in their own neck of the woods. If we ever get another holiday that is!! Thank you for reading my thread but please don't be discouraged by my bad experiences. We are all different! I was doing really well with my taper over a year when disaster struck and I ended up bed bound really. I couldn't be sure what had triggered it. I made a bad decision in letting my GP try me on another AD that nearly sent me to hell. Since May this year I have been stabilising slowly after getting my meds sorted out with the mods help here. I have got used to the physical symptoms and how to handle them. It is just harder with the mental symptoms like anxiety. It is very scary in WD especially at first when you don't understand what is happening to you and this just ramps up the anxiety. You will be fine it just takes patience and acceptance. My day wasn't so bad today. I got out for a bit but haven't managed to eat anything yet. Frogie who I follow here has suggested some things for nausea. She has suffered a long time with it. She lives in the USA and they have a diet called BRAT which is bananas, rice, stewed apples and toast. It is really bland but I might try some boiled rice tonight. My husband injured his shoulder badly in March and has been having daily physio for 2-3 hours since. He may need an operation but they are trying with the physio first. We are a right pair! Sometimes though he needs help himself so I step in and it does me good to focus on someone else and their pain for a little while. He has been my rock throughout all this and I am lucky. He doesn't really understand how I am feeling but does his best to look after and support me. I would have been lost without SA though and am so glad you have found it. Hope your sleep is good tonight and that tomorrow is a better day for you. Hugs from Flowers xxx 15 yrs on 20 to 30 mgs CITALOPRAM. MAY 2014 Increased to 40 mgs per day.SEPT/NOV 2014 tapered in 6 weeks down to 10 mgs as per Dr instructions due to violent nightmares/palpitations.Given Noctamid (lormetazepam) to help with anxiety. On average took 2mg per day for 8 weeks.No taper was advised.DEC 2014 WD severe. Nervous tic in eyes and limbs, muscle pain,fluct temp, weakness, dep and anxiety, nausea, giddy, unstable when walking. Different Dr suggested taking 20mgs CIT. BROMAZEPAM 3mgs up to 3 x daily for anxiety.DEC 9 2014 Updose CIT to 30mgs. Only taking BROMAZEPAM in emergency.DEC 31 2014 Settling at 30mg CIT - helping with depression. No Brom for 2wks.Found SA.APR 2015 Trying to stabilise on 30mgs CIT. JAN 2016 Started Cit Taper reducing by 5% per month. 28.5 mgs FEB Taper held bereavement. APR Taper resumed 27mgs . MAY 25.50 mgs . JUNE 24 mgs . JULY I stupidly mixed up my BP meds with CIT. Consequently took no CIT for 3 days and doubled my BP meds. Waiting for the fallout....Holding for a while until any chance of repercussions have abated. SEPT taper resumed to 22.5 mgs . OCT 21 mgs .NOV 19.95 mgs DEC crashed. 2017: FEB 3rd updose to 20.5 mgs to try to stabilise.FEB.switched over to 75mgs of Venlafaxine XR for 3 weeks.Too stimulating so switching back to Cit. 12 March 37.5 Ven and 20 Cit. 21 March 18mg Ven 20mg Cit. 4 April 9mg Ven 20mg Cit. Xanax .50mg when needed. 13 April 0 mgs Ven, 20mg Citalopram. Xanax .50 mg per day. 5 May reinstated a small amount of Ven to stabilize 1 mg twice a day. 20 mg Citalopram at night. Xanax .25 mg twice per day.Other Meds: Losartan (BP)Started 1993 at 50 mgs at night. Seretide (Asthma) Started 1996 at 1 puff twice a day. Jan 2019 Antibiotic Ceclor 500mgs twice a day for bronchitis and Atrovent 2ml capsules twice a day for asthma. Finished the course of both Jan 17. XANAX Jan 27 - Feb 3 2019 Failed Valium Crossover. Feb 14 2019 Updosed Xanax by .0625 Feb 17 2019 Decreased Xanax by .0625. Back to .50mg daily. Update Xanax 28.2.20 tapered to .1250 mg 8am .25 mg midnight. Update Xanax 11.8.21 tapered to .25 mg at night. Current Meds 28.2.19: CITALOPRAM 20mg taken at midnight. VENLAFAXINE .9 mg twice a day at 8am and 10pm. XANAX .50 mg split into 4 doses per day. 10am .0625mg / 2pm .1250mg/ 6pm .0625mg / midnight .25mg.Update 10.8.22 .25 mg at night. LOSARTAN 50 mgs taken at midnight. SERETIDE 1 puff taken at 8am and 10pm. 7.7.19 VENLAFAXINE UPDATE: Started tapering 10% every 4 weeks. Currently .4 mg twice a day at 8am and 10 pm. 2.9.19 .36 mg x 2. 1.10.19 .32 mg x 2. 26.11.19 .29 mg x2. 26.12.19 .26 mg x 2. 23.1.20 .23 mg x 2. 20.2.20 .21 mg x2.20.3.20 .19 mg x 2. 21.4.20 .17 mg x 2. 19.5.20 .13 mg x 2. 18.6.20 .11mg x 2 .18.7.20.10 mg x 2.1.9.20.09 mg x 2. 30.9. 20 .08 mg x 2. 1.11.20 .07 mg x 2. 2.12.20 .06 mg x 2. 8.1.21 .05 mg x 2. 4.2.21 .04 mg x 2. 9.3.21 .03 mgx2. 7.4.21 .02 mg x 2. 9.5.21 .01 mg x 2. 21.6.21 .01 mg x 1. 11.8.21 ZERO! Link to comment
Scorpio Posted September 29, 2017 Author Share Posted September 29, 2017 1 hour ago, brassmonkey said: Instead of picking him up, sit down and let him crawl into your lap. Same result and less strain on the back. Hi brassmonkey thank you I have tried that trick but the little monkey is at the stage where he us pulling himself up on anything and hardly ever wants to sit. Permanently on the move and when he can't reach things he wants to be picked up so he can. 2006 After sudden death of mother put on 20mg of citaloprom for depression. 2014 Drug stopped working after two weeks of panic attacks felt fine. Aug 2014. Doctor put me on lyrica for rash on face, diarrhoea, sleeplessness,muscle cramp, bruising. Initial dose too strong, halved dose. Stopped taking it 22/10/14 2014 severe anxiety after several ssri's attempted, seem to have developed severe sensitivity to any drug, but giving severe reactions put on cipralex drop form.started on 2 drops and had to increase by 1 drop every 3 days. Eventually got to 12 drops and had to stop as side effects every step of the way dreadful. Psychiatrist kept telling me to stick with it and my body would get used to it. Eventually down to 8 drops. Bad reactions throughout the time I was on it Have been on this until may 2017. Stopped over two weeks. Felt fine for 5 weeks after initial dizziness, nightmares, nausea, insomnia. Given diazepam by gp and told to take them when anxiety bad. Have only taken them very rarely as they frighten me. Last two weeks severe anxiety returned and feeling hopeless 11July 2017. Cipralex 2mg. Anxiety, nausea still severe 13 July 2017 Cipralex 1mg due to advice of too high dosage by kind person on thus site. so dropped from 2mg to 1mg and feelings of anxiety still at severe. As well as nausea, headaches, fatigue. 15 July still feeling extremely anxious verging on panic. Nausea, feelings of fainting, fatigue. Lots of head pains 3 August. Three weeks into trying to stabilise on one drop of cipralex. Still have waking from 4am. Sporadic upset stomach. Nausea. High anxiety. Throbbing/burning in nether regions seems to have eased for time being but stabbing/burning in calves of legs. Tinnitus. Occasional half to whole better days but mainly still struggling. Fatigue Link to comment
Scorpio Posted September 29, 2017 Author Share Posted September 29, 2017 1 hour ago, Flowers said: Hi Scorpio Sorry you have had a bad day. Anxiety is the pits isn't it? I think being laid up with a bad back isn't helping you either you poor thing. At least you had a visit from your daughter and Jude to cheer you up. Have you looked at Headspace on the internet? I think you can get it for free. It is a mindfulness site but very relaxing and someone talks you through it until you get enough practice to do it on your own. It took some time to work but has helped me so much. Laying down with your feet up the wall is a bit tricky if you are dizzy and nauseous. Have you tried progressive muscle relaxation exercises? There are lots on youtube. You could do it last thing at night in bed while you are waiting for your melatonin to take effect to get you some practice in relaxing. I go to bed an hour before my husband to read and do these exercises. They really help me but again took awhile to get the hang of it. Even deep breathing can relax you a little. We have some friends who are selling their house and can't take the wild cats in their garden with them so we have offered to take them on once the sale of their house goes through. They are a tie but we live in the countryside so can get someone to pop over and feed them everyday and they are all happier being in their own neck of the woods. If we ever get another holiday that is!! Thank you for reading my thread but please don't be discouraged by my bad experiences. We are all different! I was doing really well with my taper over a year when disaster struck and I ended up bed bound really. I couldn't be sure what had triggered it. I made a bad decision in letting my GP try me on another AD that nearly sent me to hell. Since May this year I have been stabilising slowly after getting my meds sorted out with the mods help here. I have got used to the physical symptoms and how to handle them. It is just harder with the mental symptoms like anxiety. It is very scary in WD especially at first when you don't understand what is happening to you and this just ramps up the anxiety. You will be fine it just takes patience and acceptance. My day wasn't so bad today. I got out for a bit but haven't managed to eat anything yet. Frogie who I follow here has suggested some things for nausea. She has suffered a long time with it. She lives in the USA and they have a diet called BRAT which is bananas, rice, stewed apples and toast. It is really bland but I might try some boiled rice tonight. My husband injured his shoulder badly in March and has been having daily physio for 2-3 hours since. He may need an operation but they are trying with the physio first. We are a right pair! Sometimes though he needs help himself so I step in and it does me good to focus on someone else and their pain for a little while. He has been my rock throughout all this and I am lucky. He doesn't really understand how I am feeling but does his best to look after and support me. I would have been lost without SA though and am so glad you have found it. Hope your sleep is good tonight and that tomorrow is a better day for you. Hugs from Flowers xxx Hi flowers its lovely to hear from you again. You amaze me just shrugging off the physical symptoms but I do agree it is the mental anguish like anxiety etc that is so soul destroying, and which stops dead any social interaction. I have just downloaded a how to muscle relaxation on u tube so will have a look at that tomorrow and yes i have the headspace app and calm which us one bubble mentioned. I will try them again. Oh your poor husband has been through the mill too, I read how much support he has given you and same as my husband is my rock too. Unfortunately mine can't cook but he is always there for me and he can always buy something to eat on the odd days I just can't manage to make something for him. He has learnt how to boil an egg or open a tun of beans for his lunch when I just can't do it. Evenings I generally manage to do it. My appetite is like yours badly affected when in a wave but I have been forcing myself to eat a banana in the mornings and probiotic ginger yoghurt. Hopefully when I stabilise I will manage to put some weight on. I am sure the two cats will be happy as Larry once they move in with you especially as they know the area. Are the cars you have tame now or are they still outside cats. I wish you a good evening and better day tomorrow, let's hope we can kick the anxiety and nausea into touch. Hugs. Xx 2006 After sudden death of mother put on 20mg of citaloprom for depression. 2014 Drug stopped working after two weeks of panic attacks felt fine. Aug 2014. Doctor put me on lyrica for rash on face, diarrhoea, sleeplessness,muscle cramp, bruising. Initial dose too strong, halved dose. Stopped taking it 22/10/14 2014 severe anxiety after several ssri's attempted, seem to have developed severe sensitivity to any drug, but giving severe reactions put on cipralex drop form.started on 2 drops and had to increase by 1 drop every 3 days. Eventually got to 12 drops and had to stop as side effects every step of the way dreadful. Psychiatrist kept telling me to stick with it and my body would get used to it. Eventually down to 8 drops. Bad reactions throughout the time I was on it Have been on this until may 2017. Stopped over two weeks. Felt fine for 5 weeks after initial dizziness, nightmares, nausea, insomnia. Given diazepam by gp and told to take them when anxiety bad. Have only taken them very rarely as they frighten me. Last two weeks severe anxiety returned and feeling hopeless 11July 2017. Cipralex 2mg. Anxiety, nausea still severe 13 July 2017 Cipralex 1mg due to advice of too high dosage by kind person on thus site. so dropped from 2mg to 1mg and feelings of anxiety still at severe. As well as nausea, headaches, fatigue. 15 July still feeling extremely anxious verging on panic. Nausea, feelings of fainting, fatigue. Lots of head pains 3 August. Three weeks into trying to stabilise on one drop of cipralex. Still have waking from 4am. Sporadic upset stomach. Nausea. High anxiety. Throbbing/burning in nether regions seems to have eased for time being but stabbing/burning in calves of legs. Tinnitus. Occasional half to whole better days but mainly still struggling. Fatigue Link to comment
Scorpio Posted October 1, 2017 Author Share Posted October 1, 2017 On 25/09/2017 at 8:45 PM, bubble said: A bit of a lame joke: for all we know my poor brain might be in a worse shape-I commiserate with you about your back injury and then enclose a video with exercises for the back But you see, after all these years of mulfunctioning I just do the best I can. I keep mentioning that book Embracing Uncertainty all the time because it really left an impression on me. I think I finally understood what acceptance means: not feeling bad about our gardens being wilderness but being grateful that we have a garden, find beauty in its wild state, feel grateful for all the nice moments it gave us, feel grateful that we are still here and so on. Just sitting in the garden (if the thought of all the things you could/should do doesn't upset you This period of not being like ourselves is teaching us something. My favourite pastime during bad spells is reading reassuring posts. I'm very fortunate that my mind just dismisses doom and gloom. Even if those thoughts were right (which they are not!), it's better to be happy than right (Susan Jeffers says In other words doom and gloom serves us no purpose and as you so logic is the first to go out of the window. Better times ahead. Maybe just round this bend Hi bubble i am hoping you have come out of your horrible wave and are feeling better. I am hesitant about contacting you in case you are also struggling. You can ignore this if bad time for you. since damaging my back last Saturday have been in bad way with it seemingly getting worse. Where I was always able to get out of bed in the mornings now I struggle to get up at all. Depression and sustained crying is continuous, face is on fire at times, anxiety still very high, nausea, bowels, appetite. And that’s without the crippling back ache. Is this just another bad time, my feelings of helplessness are very high and my poor husband is at a complete loss and frightened for me. 2006 After sudden death of mother put on 20mg of citaloprom for depression. 2014 Drug stopped working after two weeks of panic attacks felt fine. Aug 2014. Doctor put me on lyrica for rash on face, diarrhoea, sleeplessness,muscle cramp, bruising. Initial dose too strong, halved dose. Stopped taking it 22/10/14 2014 severe anxiety after several ssri's attempted, seem to have developed severe sensitivity to any drug, but giving severe reactions put on cipralex drop form.started on 2 drops and had to increase by 1 drop every 3 days. Eventually got to 12 drops and had to stop as side effects every step of the way dreadful. Psychiatrist kept telling me to stick with it and my body would get used to it. Eventually down to 8 drops. Bad reactions throughout the time I was on it Have been on this until may 2017. Stopped over two weeks. Felt fine for 5 weeks after initial dizziness, nightmares, nausea, insomnia. Given diazepam by gp and told to take them when anxiety bad. Have only taken them very rarely as they frighten me. Last two weeks severe anxiety returned and feeling hopeless 11July 2017. Cipralex 2mg. Anxiety, nausea still severe 13 July 2017 Cipralex 1mg due to advice of too high dosage by kind person on thus site. so dropped from 2mg to 1mg and feelings of anxiety still at severe. As well as nausea, headaches, fatigue. 15 July still feeling extremely anxious verging on panic. Nausea, feelings of fainting, fatigue. Lots of head pains 3 August. Three weeks into trying to stabilise on one drop of cipralex. Still have waking from 4am. Sporadic upset stomach. Nausea. High anxiety. Throbbing/burning in nether regions seems to have eased for time being but stabbing/burning in calves of legs. Tinnitus. Occasional half to whole better days but mainly still struggling. Fatigue Link to comment
Moderator Emeritus bubble Posted October 1, 2017 Moderator Emeritus Share Posted October 1, 2017 Sorry to hear things took a turn for the worse. But that would mean you felt a bit better before? It's so hard to distinguish between feeling worse and feeling even worse when just worse becomes better (if you know what I mean). If you were better (better as in less bad) prior to this you will go back to that place. Sometimes just giving in and not fighting it but accepting it fully helps to make it go away faster. If you can't get out of bed - don't. Or alternate getting up and staying. Don't force yourself and don't feel bad about it. It might be your brain needs this. Maybe taking care of your grandson as much as it seems innocent (and shouldn't be a problem at all under normal circumstances) is now too much for you. We have no choice but to adjust to all 'deviations from our regular functioning'. I've noticed that the sooner we adjust the sooner we recover. I think I noticed your comment about practicing mindfulness: how it just doesn't work for you because you mind is too busy, you get frustrated with it and it doesn't bring you any relief. It took me a lot of time to start to understand how meditation works. First of all it is called practice. And actually its goal is not to make us feel better (that happens as a side effect after a while). The goal is just to practice to quiet your mind. But without pressing it. Just letting go off thoughts as they come and returning to breath. Over and over again. That's the only goal. To spend some time returning your focus to your breath. I always start with only 3 minutes and gradually build it up. I must say that my app gives me a lot of comfort. There are small 'lectures' called daily calm which usually focus on some theory behind practicing mindfulness. Then there are sessions like & days of calming anxiety, 7 days of managing stress which also come with great instructions. For a long time I wasn't quite convinced it could do anything for me. But then I read articles about how regular practice of meditation physically changes our brain making it less prone to react to anxiety. It doesn't produce immediate results. Just like any other form of exercising. It takes time. But since we desperately want to do something to make ourselves feel better (and drugs are not an option) then it is really worth to explore those non-drug coping methods. What we have to do is just find something that suits us. Breathing exercises help a lot and bring relief. To sum up, it seems to me that you just overdid it (physically which you noticed in your injury) and mentally. And that injury didn't help with mental stuff. Fear and hopelessness are also symptoms of an unsettled central nervous system. I usually give myself some timeframe: OK, I will allow myself to feel as bad as I need to feel for the next 2,3,4 days without worrying. I will just do things that bring me a tiny bit of relief or make me happy (or those that used to do so in the past). I will lie in bed and won't worry. Are you doing anything that brings you comfort? Maybe reading here about people who were in a bad way but got better? Getting ideas on what calming technique to try to build up your tool kit. What is in your self-soothing tool kit now? I know it is very painful for our loved ones to see us in so much pain and suffering and not being able to help. I have so many instances of when I was in a very bad way and then got better after a while (and they have experienced it too) so that now we have this attitude of: oh it's happening again! (Every time is horrible and it feels like this time it just won't get better but it does! I wish I could help more... But I really believe you will start feeling better soon. Current: 9/2022 Xanax 0.08, Lexapro 2 2020 Xanax 0.26 (down from 2 mg in 2013), Lexapro 2.85 mg (down from 5 mg 2013) Amitriptyline (tricyclic AD) and clonazepam for 3 months to treat headache in 1996 1999. - present Xanax prn up to 3 mg. 2000-2005 Prozac CT twice, 2005-2010 Zoloft CT 3 times, 2010-2013 Escitalopram 10 mg went from 2.5 to zero on 7 Aug 2013, bad crash 40 days afterreinstated to 5 mg Escitalopram 4Oct 2013 and holding liquid Xanax every 5 hours 28 Jan 2014 Xanax 1.9, 18 Apr 2015 1 mg, 25 June 2015 Lex 4.8, 6 Aug Lexapro 4.6, 1 Jan 2016 0.64 Xanax 9 month hold 24 Sept 2016 4.5 Lex, 17 Oct 4.4 Lex (Nov 0.63 Xanax, Dec 0.625 Xanax), 1 Jan 2017 4.3 Lex, 24 Jan 4.2, 5 Feb 4.1, 24 Mar 4 mg, 10 Apr 3.9 mg, May 3.85, June 3.8, July 3.75, 22 July 3.7, 15 Aug 3.65, 17 Sept 3.6, 1 Jan 2018 3.55, 19 Jan 3.5, 16 Mar 3.4, 14 Apr 3.3, 23 May 3.2, 16 June 3.15, 15 Jul 3.1, 31 Jul 3, 21 Aug 2.9 26 Sept 2.85, 14 Nov Xan 0.61, 1 Dec 0.59, 19 Dec 0.58, 4 Jan 0.565, 6 Feb 0.55, 20 Feb 0.535, 1 Mar 0.505, 10 Mar 0.475, 14 Mar 0.45, 4 Apr 0.415, 13 Apr 0.37, 21 Apr 0.33, 29 Apr 0.29, 10 May 0.27, 17 May 0.25, 28 May 0.22, 19 June 0.22, 21 Jun updose to 0.24, 24 Jun updose to 0.26 Supplements: Omega 3 + Vit E, Vit C, D, magnesium, Taurine, probiotic I'm not a medical professional. Any advice I give is based on my own experience and reading. Link to comment
Scorpio Posted October 1, 2017 Author Share Posted October 1, 2017 33 minutes ago, bubble said: Sorry to hear things took a turn for the worse. But that would mean you felt a bit better before? It's so hard to distinguish between feeling worse and feeling even worse when just worse becomes better (if you know what I mean). If you were better (better as in less bad) prior to this you will go back to that place. Sometimes just giving in and not fighting it but accepting it fully helps to make it go away faster. If you can't get out of bed - don't. Or alternate getting up and staying. Don't force yourself and don't feel bad about it. It might be your brain needs this. Maybe taking care of your grandson as much as it seems innocent (and shouldn't be a problem at all under normal circumstances) is now too much for you. We have no choice but to adjust to all 'deviations from our regular functioning'. I've noticed that the sooner we adjust the sooner we recover. I think I noticed your comment about practicing mindfulness: how it just doesn't work for you because you mind is too busy, you get frustrated with it and it doesn't bring you any relief. It took me a lot of time to start to understand how meditation works. First of all it is called practice. And actually its goal is not to make us feel better (that happens as a side effect after a while). The goal is just to practice to quiet your mind. But without pressing it. Just letting go off thoughts as they come and returning to breath. Over and over again. That's the only goal. To spend some time returning your focus to your breath. I always start with only 3 minutes and gradually build it up. I must say that my app gives me a lot of comfort. There are small 'lectures' called daily calm which usually focus on some theory behind practicing mindfulness. Then there are sessions like & days of calming anxiety, 7 days of managing stress which also come with great instructions. For a long time I wasn't quite convinced it could do anything for me. But then I read articles about how regular practice of meditation physically changes our brain making it less prone to react to anxiety. It doesn't produce immediate results. Just like any other form of exercising. It takes time. But since we desperately want to do something to make ourselves feel better (and drugs are not an option) then it is really worth to explore those non-drug coping methods. What we have to do is just find something that suits us. Breathing exercises help a lot and bring relief. To sum up, it seems to me that you just overdid it (physically which you noticed in your injury) and mentally. And that injury didn't help with mental stuff. Fear and hopelessness are also symptoms of an unsettled central nervous system. I usually give myself some timeframe: OK, I will allow myself to feel as bad as I need to feel for the next 2,3,4 days without worrying. I will just do things that bring me a tiny bit of relief or make me happy (or those that used to do so in the past). I will lie in bed and won't worry. Are you doing anything that brings you comfort? Maybe reading here about people who were in a bad way but got better? Getting ideas on what calming technique to try to build up your tool kit. What is in your self-soothing tool kit now? I know it is very painful for our loved ones to see us in so much pain and suffering and not being able to help. I have so many instances of when I was in a very bad way and then got better after a while (and they have experienced it too) so that now we have this attitude of: oh it's happening again! (Every time is horrible and it feels like this time it just won't get better but it does! I wish I could help more... But I really believe you will start feeling better soon. Hi bubble you are definitely my font of wisdom and calm. You didn’t say if you were still struggling yourself if you are I wish you a speedy recovery. Thank you for the tips I have to learn some patience and less feelings of hopelessness each time it feels worse but I am sure like you as a strong, busy, energetic, happy woman that has turned for the past nearly three years into a wreck it is one scary journey. I will keep at the headspace and calm apps and hopefully practice will become more easy. Littlegrandma and I message a few times a day and we support each other as we are both on yo-yos. I was talking to js11 but she has disappeared for a while. Flowers has also been messaging and quest. All people who have had and are having a very hard time. It helps a lot . Today slowly became better, I managed three meals, flicking a duster, cleaning and ironing. Accomplished things I never thought I would be able to do when I got up and more than the past week. Now if I could get rid of the anxiety, depression and nausea etc I would dance a jig. Thank you so much bubble you are one inspirational woman who has given me back my hope. 2006 After sudden death of mother put on 20mg of citaloprom for depression. 2014 Drug stopped working after two weeks of panic attacks felt fine. Aug 2014. Doctor put me on lyrica for rash on face, diarrhoea, sleeplessness,muscle cramp, bruising. Initial dose too strong, halved dose. Stopped taking it 22/10/14 2014 severe anxiety after several ssri's attempted, seem to have developed severe sensitivity to any drug, but giving severe reactions put on cipralex drop form.started on 2 drops and had to increase by 1 drop every 3 days. Eventually got to 12 drops and had to stop as side effects every step of the way dreadful. Psychiatrist kept telling me to stick with it and my body would get used to it. Eventually down to 8 drops. Bad reactions throughout the time I was on it Have been on this until may 2017. Stopped over two weeks. Felt fine for 5 weeks after initial dizziness, nightmares, nausea, insomnia. Given diazepam by gp and told to take them when anxiety bad. Have only taken them very rarely as they frighten me. Last two weeks severe anxiety returned and feeling hopeless 11July 2017. Cipralex 2mg. Anxiety, nausea still severe 13 July 2017 Cipralex 1mg due to advice of too high dosage by kind person on thus site. so dropped from 2mg to 1mg and feelings of anxiety still at severe. As well as nausea, headaches, fatigue. 15 July still feeling extremely anxious verging on panic. Nausea, feelings of fainting, fatigue. Lots of head pains 3 August. Three weeks into trying to stabilise on one drop of cipralex. Still have waking from 4am. Sporadic upset stomach. Nausea. High anxiety. Throbbing/burning in nether regions seems to have eased for time being but stabbing/burning in calves of legs. Tinnitus. Occasional half to whole better days but mainly still struggling. Fatigue Link to comment
Flowers Posted October 5, 2017 Share Posted October 5, 2017 On 29/09/2017 at 10:10 PM, Scorpio said: Hi flowers its lovely to hear from you again. You amaze me just shrugging off the physical symptoms but I do agree it is the mental anguish like anxiety etc that is so soul destroying, and which stops dead any social interaction. I have just downloaded a how to muscle relaxation on u tube so will have a look at that tomorrow and yes i have the headspace app and calm which us one bubble mentioned. I will try them again. Oh your poor husband has been through the mill too, I read how much support he has given you and same as my husband is my rock too. Unfortunately mine can't cook but he is always there for me and he can always buy something to eat on the odd days I just can't manage to make something for him. He has learnt how to boil an egg or open a tun of beans for his lunch when I just can't do it. Evenings I generally manage to do it. My appetite is like yours badly affected when in a wave but I have been forcing myself to eat a banana in the mornings and probiotic ginger yoghurt. Hopefully when I stabilise I will manage to put some weight on. I am sure the two cats will be happy as Larry once they move in with you especially as they know the area. Are the cars you have tame now or are they still outside cats. I wish you a good evening and better day tomorrow, let's hope we can kick the anxiety and nausea into touch. Hugs. Xx Hello Scorpio Thank you for checking in on me and visiting my thread. You are so lovely! I have replied to you there but will write something here too. The physical and mental symptoms are a constant daily battle but I refuse to let them get the better of me. When I get up each day I feel dreadful. Yesterday I got showered and dressed and even though felt sick, dizzy,shaky and anxious went for a wander around my local town. I bumped into several people I knew and had a chat with them. After being out for an hour or so I felt so much better than just sitting at home thinking about myself. That is how I cope with most days. I have to get out of the house for a little while even for a stroll or visit friends. I need the distraction. I hope you will soon feel up to doing this.Sometimes my husband just takes me for a drive in the car! The cats we have are domesticated except one who prefers to live outside and just pops in for food or if it is raining or cold!! I expect we will see more of her in the winter but she still finds somewhere in the house to hide and sleep and doesn't like the dogs much!! I have managed to eat dinner the last two nights but the morning nausea has been dreadful. How is yours? I manage to eat more if we are out or someone prepares something for me. Hope this evening has been better for you and that you have a good nights sleep. Love and hugs from Flowers xxx 15 yrs on 20 to 30 mgs CITALOPRAM. MAY 2014 Increased to 40 mgs per day.SEPT/NOV 2014 tapered in 6 weeks down to 10 mgs as per Dr instructions due to violent nightmares/palpitations.Given Noctamid (lormetazepam) to help with anxiety. On average took 2mg per day for 8 weeks.No taper was advised.DEC 2014 WD severe. Nervous tic in eyes and limbs, muscle pain,fluct temp, weakness, dep and anxiety, nausea, giddy, unstable when walking. Different Dr suggested taking 20mgs CIT. BROMAZEPAM 3mgs up to 3 x daily for anxiety.DEC 9 2014 Updose CIT to 30mgs. Only taking BROMAZEPAM in emergency.DEC 31 2014 Settling at 30mg CIT - helping with depression. No Brom for 2wks.Found SA.APR 2015 Trying to stabilise on 30mgs CIT. JAN 2016 Started Cit Taper reducing by 5% per month. 28.5 mgs FEB Taper held bereavement. APR Taper resumed 27mgs . MAY 25.50 mgs . JUNE 24 mgs . JULY I stupidly mixed up my BP meds with CIT. Consequently took no CIT for 3 days and doubled my BP meds. Waiting for the fallout....Holding for a while until any chance of repercussions have abated. SEPT taper resumed to 22.5 mgs . OCT 21 mgs .NOV 19.95 mgs DEC crashed. 2017: FEB 3rd updose to 20.5 mgs to try to stabilise.FEB.switched over to 75mgs of Venlafaxine XR for 3 weeks.Too stimulating so switching back to Cit. 12 March 37.5 Ven and 20 Cit. 21 March 18mg Ven 20mg Cit. 4 April 9mg Ven 20mg Cit. Xanax .50mg when needed. 13 April 0 mgs Ven, 20mg Citalopram. Xanax .50 mg per day. 5 May reinstated a small amount of Ven to stabilize 1 mg twice a day. 20 mg Citalopram at night. Xanax .25 mg twice per day.Other Meds: Losartan (BP)Started 1993 at 50 mgs at night. Seretide (Asthma) Started 1996 at 1 puff twice a day. Jan 2019 Antibiotic Ceclor 500mgs twice a day for bronchitis and Atrovent 2ml capsules twice a day for asthma. Finished the course of both Jan 17. XANAX Jan 27 - Feb 3 2019 Failed Valium Crossover. Feb 14 2019 Updosed Xanax by .0625 Feb 17 2019 Decreased Xanax by .0625. Back to .50mg daily. Update Xanax 28.2.20 tapered to .1250 mg 8am .25 mg midnight. Update Xanax 11.8.21 tapered to .25 mg at night. Current Meds 28.2.19: CITALOPRAM 20mg taken at midnight. VENLAFAXINE .9 mg twice a day at 8am and 10pm. XANAX .50 mg split into 4 doses per day. 10am .0625mg / 2pm .1250mg/ 6pm .0625mg / midnight .25mg.Update 10.8.22 .25 mg at night. LOSARTAN 50 mgs taken at midnight. SERETIDE 1 puff taken at 8am and 10pm. 7.7.19 VENLAFAXINE UPDATE: Started tapering 10% every 4 weeks. Currently .4 mg twice a day at 8am and 10 pm. 2.9.19 .36 mg x 2. 1.10.19 .32 mg x 2. 26.11.19 .29 mg x2. 26.12.19 .26 mg x 2. 23.1.20 .23 mg x 2. 20.2.20 .21 mg x2.20.3.20 .19 mg x 2. 21.4.20 .17 mg x 2. 19.5.20 .13 mg x 2. 18.6.20 .11mg x 2 .18.7.20.10 mg x 2.1.9.20.09 mg x 2. 30.9. 20 .08 mg x 2. 1.11.20 .07 mg x 2. 2.12.20 .06 mg x 2. 8.1.21 .05 mg x 2. 4.2.21 .04 mg x 2. 9.3.21 .03 mgx2. 7.4.21 .02 mg x 2. 9.5.21 .01 mg x 2. 21.6.21 .01 mg x 1. 11.8.21 ZERO! Link to comment
Scorpio Posted October 5, 2017 Author Share Posted October 5, 2017 Hi flowers oh I didn’t see this post before I replied to the one on your thread. I am the same the morning dread anxiety, nausea, dizziness and tinnitus and as long as they are the only symptoms I also drag myself off to shower, etc. This week have been out every day and I quite agree getting out is a lifesaver and distraction when the waves are at their worst I find it impossible to drag myself out the door but will have to try in the future. I have also this week managed The forcing of the banana and probiotic ginger yoghurt down my throat when I get up, snack lunch and enjoyed dinner so this week has been really good. No weight gain yet but hopefully if I can stabilise more it will come. I even had snack lunch in m & s on Tuesday - blimey - haven’t managed to eat in anything like a restaurant since June. Maybe I ought to print this out to remind myself next time I moan it’s never going to change when the depression has me in its ugly grip. Wishing you a better day tomorrow and also sweet dreams to you. Big hugs 2006 After sudden death of mother put on 20mg of citaloprom for depression. 2014 Drug stopped working after two weeks of panic attacks felt fine. Aug 2014. Doctor put me on lyrica for rash on face, diarrhoea, sleeplessness,muscle cramp, bruising. Initial dose too strong, halved dose. Stopped taking it 22/10/14 2014 severe anxiety after several ssri's attempted, seem to have developed severe sensitivity to any drug, but giving severe reactions put on cipralex drop form.started on 2 drops and had to increase by 1 drop every 3 days. Eventually got to 12 drops and had to stop as side effects every step of the way dreadful. Psychiatrist kept telling me to stick with it and my body would get used to it. Eventually down to 8 drops. Bad reactions throughout the time I was on it Have been on this until may 2017. Stopped over two weeks. Felt fine for 5 weeks after initial dizziness, nightmares, nausea, insomnia. Given diazepam by gp and told to take them when anxiety bad. Have only taken them very rarely as they frighten me. Last two weeks severe anxiety returned and feeling hopeless 11July 2017. Cipralex 2mg. Anxiety, nausea still severe 13 July 2017 Cipralex 1mg due to advice of too high dosage by kind person on thus site. so dropped from 2mg to 1mg and feelings of anxiety still at severe. As well as nausea, headaches, fatigue. 15 July still feeling extremely anxious verging on panic. Nausea, feelings of fainting, fatigue. Lots of head pains 3 August. Three weeks into trying to stabilise on one drop of cipralex. Still have waking from 4am. Sporadic upset stomach. Nausea. High anxiety. Throbbing/burning in nether regions seems to have eased for time being but stabbing/burning in calves of legs. Tinnitus. Occasional half to whole better days but mainly still struggling. Fatigue Link to comment
Flowers Posted October 9, 2017 Share Posted October 9, 2017 Hi Scorpio Have seen on lg's thread that you haven't had a great day. I know it is awful and all we can see is doom and gloom when feeling bad but I think you are doing a lot better than you think. You have looked after Jude and cooked a roast dinner for everyone. That is amazing. Just try to remember those good days last week - they will come again. I have been in a wave for around 3 weeks but today the symptoms lifted a little and I actually felt like I wasn't just going through the motions. I actually felt like giving myself a pedicure and manicure etc and that was after doing some work this morning. I know I am lucky living here as the fine weather makes going out for walk so much easier. I pottered around the garden yesterday again and did some tidying up as it is cooling down a little now. We share the same taste in TV. I am just about to watch Liar so will say goodnight. I am thinking of you, have a good nights sleep and hopefully you will awake feeling better. Love and hugs Flowers xxx Flowers xxx 15 yrs on 20 to 30 mgs CITALOPRAM. MAY 2014 Increased to 40 mgs per day.SEPT/NOV 2014 tapered in 6 weeks down to 10 mgs as per Dr instructions due to violent nightmares/palpitations.Given Noctamid (lormetazepam) to help with anxiety. On average took 2mg per day for 8 weeks.No taper was advised.DEC 2014 WD severe. Nervous tic in eyes and limbs, muscle pain,fluct temp, weakness, dep and anxiety, nausea, giddy, unstable when walking. Different Dr suggested taking 20mgs CIT. BROMAZEPAM 3mgs up to 3 x daily for anxiety.DEC 9 2014 Updose CIT to 30mgs. Only taking BROMAZEPAM in emergency.DEC 31 2014 Settling at 30mg CIT - helping with depression. No Brom for 2wks.Found SA.APR 2015 Trying to stabilise on 30mgs CIT. JAN 2016 Started Cit Taper reducing by 5% per month. 28.5 mgs FEB Taper held bereavement. APR Taper resumed 27mgs . MAY 25.50 mgs . JUNE 24 mgs . JULY I stupidly mixed up my BP meds with CIT. Consequently took no CIT for 3 days and doubled my BP meds. Waiting for the fallout....Holding for a while until any chance of repercussions have abated. SEPT taper resumed to 22.5 mgs . OCT 21 mgs .NOV 19.95 mgs DEC crashed. 2017: FEB 3rd updose to 20.5 mgs to try to stabilise.FEB.switched over to 75mgs of Venlafaxine XR for 3 weeks.Too stimulating so switching back to Cit. 12 March 37.5 Ven and 20 Cit. 21 March 18mg Ven 20mg Cit. 4 April 9mg Ven 20mg Cit. Xanax .50mg when needed. 13 April 0 mgs Ven, 20mg Citalopram. Xanax .50 mg per day. 5 May reinstated a small amount of Ven to stabilize 1 mg twice a day. 20 mg Citalopram at night. Xanax .25 mg twice per day.Other Meds: Losartan (BP)Started 1993 at 50 mgs at night. Seretide (Asthma) Started 1996 at 1 puff twice a day. Jan 2019 Antibiotic Ceclor 500mgs twice a day for bronchitis and Atrovent 2ml capsules twice a day for asthma. Finished the course of both Jan 17. XANAX Jan 27 - Feb 3 2019 Failed Valium Crossover. Feb 14 2019 Updosed Xanax by .0625 Feb 17 2019 Decreased Xanax by .0625. Back to .50mg daily. Update Xanax 28.2.20 tapered to .1250 mg 8am .25 mg midnight. Update Xanax 11.8.21 tapered to .25 mg at night. Current Meds 28.2.19: CITALOPRAM 20mg taken at midnight. VENLAFAXINE .9 mg twice a day at 8am and 10pm. XANAX .50 mg split into 4 doses per day. 10am .0625mg / 2pm .1250mg/ 6pm .0625mg / midnight .25mg.Update 10.8.22 .25 mg at night. LOSARTAN 50 mgs taken at midnight. SERETIDE 1 puff taken at 8am and 10pm. 7.7.19 VENLAFAXINE UPDATE: Started tapering 10% every 4 weeks. Currently .4 mg twice a day at 8am and 10 pm. 2.9.19 .36 mg x 2. 1.10.19 .32 mg x 2. 26.11.19 .29 mg x2. 26.12.19 .26 mg x 2. 23.1.20 .23 mg x 2. 20.2.20 .21 mg x2.20.3.20 .19 mg x 2. 21.4.20 .17 mg x 2. 19.5.20 .13 mg x 2. 18.6.20 .11mg x 2 .18.7.20.10 mg x 2.1.9.20.09 mg x 2. 30.9. 20 .08 mg x 2. 1.11.20 .07 mg x 2. 2.12.20 .06 mg x 2. 8.1.21 .05 mg x 2. 4.2.21 .04 mg x 2. 9.3.21 .03 mgx2. 7.4.21 .02 mg x 2. 9.5.21 .01 mg x 2. 21.6.21 .01 mg x 1. 11.8.21 ZERO! Link to comment
Scorpio Posted October 9, 2017 Author Share Posted October 9, 2017 Hi flowers thank you for your kind words. I know it is stupid to feel hopeless but it’s the insidious symptom of w/d isn’t it. I should know better having had the windows waves cycles for the two years on this horrible drug but it always brings me to my knees. I agree I am doing more than I was just a few weeks ago. It’s now 12 weeks trying to get stability but patience is a virtue and I haven’t got many of them! Funny you say you gave yourself a manicure etc I keep looking at my nails thinking I must cut them and manicure. I have kept them fairly short as like you I love my garden and long fingernails just don’t work with soil for me. Nit that digging has happened for a few months but I will get out there and dirty before winter really set in I hope I so envy you your sunshine, more grey sky and rain again today, so depressing. I am so pleased you can feel slight improvement in your wave you have been through such a long haul. Fingers crossed you are coming out the other side. Are you seeing the Doctor tomorrow if so, good luck, I hope they can sort out your stomach problems. Our girl, is the serial that starts again tomorrow, I love it and holby as well so good nights viewing tomorrow to look forward to. Enjoy liar I haven’t watched that one. Are you a game of thrones fan too? Bug hugs and thinking of you for tomorrow if you go. Scorpio 2006 After sudden death of mother put on 20mg of citaloprom for depression. 2014 Drug stopped working after two weeks of panic attacks felt fine. Aug 2014. Doctor put me on lyrica for rash on face, diarrhoea, sleeplessness,muscle cramp, bruising. Initial dose too strong, halved dose. Stopped taking it 22/10/14 2014 severe anxiety after several ssri's attempted, seem to have developed severe sensitivity to any drug, but giving severe reactions put on cipralex drop form.started on 2 drops and had to increase by 1 drop every 3 days. Eventually got to 12 drops and had to stop as side effects every step of the way dreadful. Psychiatrist kept telling me to stick with it and my body would get used to it. Eventually down to 8 drops. Bad reactions throughout the time I was on it Have been on this until may 2017. Stopped over two weeks. Felt fine for 5 weeks after initial dizziness, nightmares, nausea, insomnia. Given diazepam by gp and told to take them when anxiety bad. Have only taken them very rarely as they frighten me. Last two weeks severe anxiety returned and feeling hopeless 11July 2017. Cipralex 2mg. Anxiety, nausea still severe 13 July 2017 Cipralex 1mg due to advice of too high dosage by kind person on thus site. so dropped from 2mg to 1mg and feelings of anxiety still at severe. As well as nausea, headaches, fatigue. 15 July still feeling extremely anxious verging on panic. Nausea, feelings of fainting, fatigue. Lots of head pains 3 August. Three weeks into trying to stabilise on one drop of cipralex. Still have waking from 4am. Sporadic upset stomach. Nausea. High anxiety. Throbbing/burning in nether regions seems to have eased for time being but stabbing/burning in calves of legs. Tinnitus. Occasional half to whole better days but mainly still struggling. Fatigue Link to comment
Scorpio Posted October 11, 2017 Author Share Posted October 11, 2017 On 01/10/2017 at 7:59 PM, Scorpio said: Hi bubble you are definitely my font of wisdom and calm. You didn’t say if you were still struggling yourself if you are I wish you a speedy recovery. Thank you for the tips I have to learn some patience and less feelings of hopelessness each time it feels worse but I am sure like you as a strong, busy, energetic, happy woman that has turned for the past nearly three years into a wreck it is one scary journey. I will keep at the headspace and calm apps and hopefully practice will become more easy. Littlegrandma and I message a few times a day and we support each other as we are both on yo-yos. I was talking to js11 but she has disappeared for a while. Flowers has also been messaging and quest. All people who have had and are having a very hard time. It helps a lot . Today slowly became better, I managed three meals, flicking a duster, cleaning and ironing. Accomplished things I never thought I would be able to do when I got up and more than the past week. Now if I could get rid of the anxiety, depression and nausea etc I would dance a jig. Thank you so much bubble you are one inspirational woman who has given me back my hope. Hello bubble sorry but back again. Having had a relatively good week last week since Monday gone downhill badly. Depression has set in with me just wanting to cry and sleep unable to do anything plus anxiety nausea bowel cramping burning face and legs. It is now 12 weeks of trying to stabilise and I feel hopeless and helpless again. Sorry to be so pathetic but so frightened it’s not going to get better. 2006 After sudden death of mother put on 20mg of citaloprom for depression. 2014 Drug stopped working after two weeks of panic attacks felt fine. Aug 2014. Doctor put me on lyrica for rash on face, diarrhoea, sleeplessness,muscle cramp, bruising. Initial dose too strong, halved dose. Stopped taking it 22/10/14 2014 severe anxiety after several ssri's attempted, seem to have developed severe sensitivity to any drug, but giving severe reactions put on cipralex drop form.started on 2 drops and had to increase by 1 drop every 3 days. Eventually got to 12 drops and had to stop as side effects every step of the way dreadful. Psychiatrist kept telling me to stick with it and my body would get used to it. Eventually down to 8 drops. Bad reactions throughout the time I was on it Have been on this until may 2017. Stopped over two weeks. Felt fine for 5 weeks after initial dizziness, nightmares, nausea, insomnia. Given diazepam by gp and told to take them when anxiety bad. Have only taken them very rarely as they frighten me. Last two weeks severe anxiety returned and feeling hopeless 11July 2017. Cipralex 2mg. Anxiety, nausea still severe 13 July 2017 Cipralex 1mg due to advice of too high dosage by kind person on thus site. so dropped from 2mg to 1mg and feelings of anxiety still at severe. As well as nausea, headaches, fatigue. 15 July still feeling extremely anxious verging on panic. Nausea, feelings of fainting, fatigue. Lots of head pains 3 August. Three weeks into trying to stabilise on one drop of cipralex. Still have waking from 4am. Sporadic upset stomach. Nausea. High anxiety. Throbbing/burning in nether regions seems to have eased for time being but stabbing/burning in calves of legs. Tinnitus. Occasional half to whole better days but mainly still struggling. Fatigue Link to comment
Flowers Posted October 12, 2017 Share Posted October 12, 2017 Hi Scorpio Sorry to see you are in a bad way. I am sure Bubble or another mod will come by to see if they can offer any advice as soon as they can. I was where you are in Feb/March this year due to a change of meds. I could only stay in the bedroom where I felt safe. The fear and panic that I would always be like it made everything a hundred times worse. I know it is hard to do anything when we feel like this but is there a chance you might be able to get up and have shower? That used to make me feel a little better. Also I tried to walk if only around the immediate area where I live. Sometimes I needed a stick! Somehow using a little energy seemed to help. A mod on here even suggested walking on the spot indoors which seemed to help also. My husband also took me out for a short drive in the car everyday so I could focus on the outside world for a while. It did me good to get out and I realised that staying in the house was making me feel so much worse. I think it is well known that some of us have too much cortisol when in WD and anything to burn some of that off may help you. Only do what you feel capable of though as pushing too hard will make things worse. Of course you may be too poorly to try this. I hope not and that you can try these things. Having felt well for a little while and then to get knocked back with a wave is demotivating and cruel so this has probably made you feel worse. I always feel completely gutted when a wave comes along. I am thinking of you and hoping for the best. Love and hugs Flowers xxx 15 yrs on 20 to 30 mgs CITALOPRAM. MAY 2014 Increased to 40 mgs per day.SEPT/NOV 2014 tapered in 6 weeks down to 10 mgs as per Dr instructions due to violent nightmares/palpitations.Given Noctamid (lormetazepam) to help with anxiety. On average took 2mg per day for 8 weeks.No taper was advised.DEC 2014 WD severe. Nervous tic in eyes and limbs, muscle pain,fluct temp, weakness, dep and anxiety, nausea, giddy, unstable when walking. Different Dr suggested taking 20mgs CIT. BROMAZEPAM 3mgs up to 3 x daily for anxiety.DEC 9 2014 Updose CIT to 30mgs. Only taking BROMAZEPAM in emergency.DEC 31 2014 Settling at 30mg CIT - helping with depression. No Brom for 2wks.Found SA.APR 2015 Trying to stabilise on 30mgs CIT. JAN 2016 Started Cit Taper reducing by 5% per month. 28.5 mgs FEB Taper held bereavement. APR Taper resumed 27mgs . MAY 25.50 mgs . JUNE 24 mgs . JULY I stupidly mixed up my BP meds with CIT. Consequently took no CIT for 3 days and doubled my BP meds. Waiting for the fallout....Holding for a while until any chance of repercussions have abated. SEPT taper resumed to 22.5 mgs . OCT 21 mgs .NOV 19.95 mgs DEC crashed. 2017: FEB 3rd updose to 20.5 mgs to try to stabilise.FEB.switched over to 75mgs of Venlafaxine XR for 3 weeks.Too stimulating so switching back to Cit. 12 March 37.5 Ven and 20 Cit. 21 March 18mg Ven 20mg Cit. 4 April 9mg Ven 20mg Cit. Xanax .50mg when needed. 13 April 0 mgs Ven, 20mg Citalopram. Xanax .50 mg per day. 5 May reinstated a small amount of Ven to stabilize 1 mg twice a day. 20 mg Citalopram at night. Xanax .25 mg twice per day.Other Meds: Losartan (BP)Started 1993 at 50 mgs at night. Seretide (Asthma) Started 1996 at 1 puff twice a day. Jan 2019 Antibiotic Ceclor 500mgs twice a day for bronchitis and Atrovent 2ml capsules twice a day for asthma. Finished the course of both Jan 17. XANAX Jan 27 - Feb 3 2019 Failed Valium Crossover. Feb 14 2019 Updosed Xanax by .0625 Feb 17 2019 Decreased Xanax by .0625. Back to .50mg daily. Update Xanax 28.2.20 tapered to .1250 mg 8am .25 mg midnight. Update Xanax 11.8.21 tapered to .25 mg at night. Current Meds 28.2.19: CITALOPRAM 20mg taken at midnight. VENLAFAXINE .9 mg twice a day at 8am and 10pm. XANAX .50 mg split into 4 doses per day. 10am .0625mg / 2pm .1250mg/ 6pm .0625mg / midnight .25mg.Update 10.8.22 .25 mg at night. LOSARTAN 50 mgs taken at midnight. SERETIDE 1 puff taken at 8am and 10pm. 7.7.19 VENLAFAXINE UPDATE: Started tapering 10% every 4 weeks. Currently .4 mg twice a day at 8am and 10 pm. 2.9.19 .36 mg x 2. 1.10.19 .32 mg x 2. 26.11.19 .29 mg x2. 26.12.19 .26 mg x 2. 23.1.20 .23 mg x 2. 20.2.20 .21 mg x2.20.3.20 .19 mg x 2. 21.4.20 .17 mg x 2. 19.5.20 .13 mg x 2. 18.6.20 .11mg x 2 .18.7.20.10 mg x 2.1.9.20.09 mg x 2. 30.9. 20 .08 mg x 2. 1.11.20 .07 mg x 2. 2.12.20 .06 mg x 2. 8.1.21 .05 mg x 2. 4.2.21 .04 mg x 2. 9.3.21 .03 mgx2. 7.4.21 .02 mg x 2. 9.5.21 .01 mg x 2. 21.6.21 .01 mg x 1. 11.8.21 ZERO! Link to comment
Scorpio Posted October 12, 2017 Author Share Posted October 12, 2017 1 hour ago, Flowers said: Hi Scorpio Sorry to see you are in a bad way. I am sure Bubble or another mod will come by to see if they can offer any advice as soon as they can. I was where you are in Feb/March this year due to a change of meds. I could only stay in the bedroom where I felt safe. The fear and panic that I would always be like it made everything a hundred times worse. I know it is hard to do anything when we feel like this but is there a chance you might be able to get up and have shower? That used to make me feel a little better. Also I tried to walk if only around the immediate area where I live. Sometimes I needed a stick! Somehow using a little energy seemed to help. A mod on here even suggested walking on the spot indoors which seemed to help also. My husband also took me out for a short drive in the car everyday so I could focus on the outside world for a while. It did me good to get out and I realised that staying in the house was making me feel so much worse. I think it is well known that some of us have too much cortisol when in WD and anything to burn some of that off may help you. Only do what you feel capable of though as pushing too hard will make things worse. Of course you may be too poorly to try this. I hope not and that you can try these things. Having felt well for a little while and then to get knocked back with a wave is demotivating and cruel so this has probably made you feel worse. I always feel completely gutted when a wave comes along. I am thinking of you and hoping for the best. Love and hugs Flowers xxx Hi flowers its so nice of you to reply I know you are also struggling and really appreciate it. It is just so frightening as we discussed before that when having felt relatively a little better last week to come crashing down again just scares me so. I feel as though stabilisation won’t ever happen considering I went through these waves while on this blessed drug for two years. This time as well as the anxiety the depression is just so deep and am reduced to a wreck. Can’t accomplish anything just existing I do shower every day and I have Jude today as Luisa is in London so had no alternative but to get up with the alarm. He is having a nap at the moment so a little peace but my mind is whirling my bowels are cramping, tinnitus raging and nausea and anxiety high. I hope your visit to the doctors was ok and you can get relatively simple treatment and it hasn’t knocked you too much. At least the sun is trying to shine today first time this week so once Jude is awake we can go into the soaking garden for a while. Bug hugs to you flowers 2006 After sudden death of mother put on 20mg of citaloprom for depression. 2014 Drug stopped working after two weeks of panic attacks felt fine. Aug 2014. Doctor put me on lyrica for rash on face, diarrhoea, sleeplessness,muscle cramp, bruising. Initial dose too strong, halved dose. Stopped taking it 22/10/14 2014 severe anxiety after several ssri's attempted, seem to have developed severe sensitivity to any drug, but giving severe reactions put on cipralex drop form.started on 2 drops and had to increase by 1 drop every 3 days. Eventually got to 12 drops and had to stop as side effects every step of the way dreadful. Psychiatrist kept telling me to stick with it and my body would get used to it. Eventually down to 8 drops. Bad reactions throughout the time I was on it Have been on this until may 2017. Stopped over two weeks. Felt fine for 5 weeks after initial dizziness, nightmares, nausea, insomnia. Given diazepam by gp and told to take them when anxiety bad. Have only taken them very rarely as they frighten me. Last two weeks severe anxiety returned and feeling hopeless 11July 2017. Cipralex 2mg. Anxiety, nausea still severe 13 July 2017 Cipralex 1mg due to advice of too high dosage by kind person on thus site. so dropped from 2mg to 1mg and feelings of anxiety still at severe. As well as nausea, headaches, fatigue. 15 July still feeling extremely anxious verging on panic. Nausea, feelings of fainting, fatigue. Lots of head pains 3 August. Three weeks into trying to stabilise on one drop of cipralex. Still have waking from 4am. Sporadic upset stomach. Nausea. High anxiety. Throbbing/burning in nether regions seems to have eased for time being but stabbing/burning in calves of legs. Tinnitus. Occasional half to whole better days but mainly still struggling. Fatigue Link to comment
Flowers Posted October 12, 2017 Share Posted October 12, 2017 Hi Scorpio I am so sorry that you are in such a bad way. Don't know how you manage to look after Jude feeling like that. Dr's was OK and he has arranged for some tests just to check all is good. I am feeling good today again so think wave has ebbed after 3 weeks. I really hope yours ebbs too very soon. Lots of hugs. Flowers xxx 15 yrs on 20 to 30 mgs CITALOPRAM. MAY 2014 Increased to 40 mgs per day.SEPT/NOV 2014 tapered in 6 weeks down to 10 mgs as per Dr instructions due to violent nightmares/palpitations.Given Noctamid (lormetazepam) to help with anxiety. On average took 2mg per day for 8 weeks.No taper was advised.DEC 2014 WD severe. Nervous tic in eyes and limbs, muscle pain,fluct temp, weakness, dep and anxiety, nausea, giddy, unstable when walking. Different Dr suggested taking 20mgs CIT. BROMAZEPAM 3mgs up to 3 x daily for anxiety.DEC 9 2014 Updose CIT to 30mgs. Only taking BROMAZEPAM in emergency.DEC 31 2014 Settling at 30mg CIT - helping with depression. No Brom for 2wks.Found SA.APR 2015 Trying to stabilise on 30mgs CIT. JAN 2016 Started Cit Taper reducing by 5% per month. 28.5 mgs FEB Taper held bereavement. APR Taper resumed 27mgs . MAY 25.50 mgs . JUNE 24 mgs . JULY I stupidly mixed up my BP meds with CIT. Consequently took no CIT for 3 days and doubled my BP meds. Waiting for the fallout....Holding for a while until any chance of repercussions have abated. SEPT taper resumed to 22.5 mgs . OCT 21 mgs .NOV 19.95 mgs DEC crashed. 2017: FEB 3rd updose to 20.5 mgs to try to stabilise.FEB.switched over to 75mgs of Venlafaxine XR for 3 weeks.Too stimulating so switching back to Cit. 12 March 37.5 Ven and 20 Cit. 21 March 18mg Ven 20mg Cit. 4 April 9mg Ven 20mg Cit. Xanax .50mg when needed. 13 April 0 mgs Ven, 20mg Citalopram. Xanax .50 mg per day. 5 May reinstated a small amount of Ven to stabilize 1 mg twice a day. 20 mg Citalopram at night. Xanax .25 mg twice per day.Other Meds: Losartan (BP)Started 1993 at 50 mgs at night. Seretide (Asthma) Started 1996 at 1 puff twice a day. Jan 2019 Antibiotic Ceclor 500mgs twice a day for bronchitis and Atrovent 2ml capsules twice a day for asthma. Finished the course of both Jan 17. XANAX Jan 27 - Feb 3 2019 Failed Valium Crossover. Feb 14 2019 Updosed Xanax by .0625 Feb 17 2019 Decreased Xanax by .0625. Back to .50mg daily. Update Xanax 28.2.20 tapered to .1250 mg 8am .25 mg midnight. Update Xanax 11.8.21 tapered to .25 mg at night. Current Meds 28.2.19: CITALOPRAM 20mg taken at midnight. VENLAFAXINE .9 mg twice a day at 8am and 10pm. XANAX .50 mg split into 4 doses per day. 10am .0625mg / 2pm .1250mg/ 6pm .0625mg / midnight .25mg.Update 10.8.22 .25 mg at night. LOSARTAN 50 mgs taken at midnight. SERETIDE 1 puff taken at 8am and 10pm. 7.7.19 VENLAFAXINE UPDATE: Started tapering 10% every 4 weeks. Currently .4 mg twice a day at 8am and 10 pm. 2.9.19 .36 mg x 2. 1.10.19 .32 mg x 2. 26.11.19 .29 mg x2. 26.12.19 .26 mg x 2. 23.1.20 .23 mg x 2. 20.2.20 .21 mg x2.20.3.20 .19 mg x 2. 21.4.20 .17 mg x 2. 19.5.20 .13 mg x 2. 18.6.20 .11mg x 2 .18.7.20.10 mg x 2.1.9.20.09 mg x 2. 30.9. 20 .08 mg x 2. 1.11.20 .07 mg x 2. 2.12.20 .06 mg x 2. 8.1.21 .05 mg x 2. 4.2.21 .04 mg x 2. 9.3.21 .03 mgx2. 7.4.21 .02 mg x 2. 9.5.21 .01 mg x 2. 21.6.21 .01 mg x 1. 11.8.21 ZERO! Link to comment
Scorpio Posted October 12, 2017 Author Share Posted October 12, 2017 21 minutes ago, Flowers said: Hi Scorpio I am so sorry that you are in such a bad way. Don't know how you manage to look after Jude feeling like that. Dr's was OK and he has arranged for some tests just to check all is good. I am feeling good today again so think wave has ebbed after 3 weeks. I really hope yours ebbs too very soon. Lots of hugs. Flowers xxx Hi flowers oh double good news brilliant I am so happy for you. That was a long horrible wave for you and you cope so well by getting out and doing. You are such a fighter. You wonder how I cope with Jude when he is one of the few things that makes me cope. Like your gardening and cats. Have you made any more plans for coming home, fingers crossed you make it. There was the tiniest bit of warmth in the sun today and it felt so much better than the awful grey skies we keep getting. They are forecasting 23 degrees this weekend- you know what our weather forecasts are like - believe it when we see it. Will keep my fingers crossed that your tests all prove fine and I can climb out of this wave with you. Big hugs. 2006 After sudden death of mother put on 20mg of citaloprom for depression. 2014 Drug stopped working after two weeks of panic attacks felt fine. Aug 2014. Doctor put me on lyrica for rash on face, diarrhoea, sleeplessness,muscle cramp, bruising. Initial dose too strong, halved dose. Stopped taking it 22/10/14 2014 severe anxiety after several ssri's attempted, seem to have developed severe sensitivity to any drug, but giving severe reactions put on cipralex drop form.started on 2 drops and had to increase by 1 drop every 3 days. Eventually got to 12 drops and had to stop as side effects every step of the way dreadful. Psychiatrist kept telling me to stick with it and my body would get used to it. Eventually down to 8 drops. Bad reactions throughout the time I was on it Have been on this until may 2017. Stopped over two weeks. Felt fine for 5 weeks after initial dizziness, nightmares, nausea, insomnia. Given diazepam by gp and told to take them when anxiety bad. Have only taken them very rarely as they frighten me. Last two weeks severe anxiety returned and feeling hopeless 11July 2017. Cipralex 2mg. Anxiety, nausea still severe 13 July 2017 Cipralex 1mg due to advice of too high dosage by kind person on thus site. so dropped from 2mg to 1mg and feelings of anxiety still at severe. As well as nausea, headaches, fatigue. 15 July still feeling extremely anxious verging on panic. Nausea, feelings of fainting, fatigue. Lots of head pains 3 August. Three weeks into trying to stabilise on one drop of cipralex. Still have waking from 4am. Sporadic upset stomach. Nausea. High anxiety. Throbbing/burning in nether regions seems to have eased for time being but stabbing/burning in calves of legs. Tinnitus. Occasional half to whole better days but mainly still struggling. Fatigue Link to comment
Scorpio Posted October 13, 2017 Author Share Posted October 13, 2017 Help, I am in such a bad way again , after six days of feeling relatively better since Monday plunged back down into this awful depression,anxiety, nausea and all the other symptoms. I cannot drag myself out of bed in the mornings and just sit and cry when I eventually manage it. Anxiety is overwhelming me. food I have to try and force down. So frightened again that this won’t stabilise. It is now 13 weeks and can’t see a way out. I know there are lots of members on here having a worse struggle that I am but just feel so hopeless at the moment. 2006 After sudden death of mother put on 20mg of citaloprom for depression. 2014 Drug stopped working after two weeks of panic attacks felt fine. Aug 2014. Doctor put me on lyrica for rash on face, diarrhoea, sleeplessness,muscle cramp, bruising. Initial dose too strong, halved dose. Stopped taking it 22/10/14 2014 severe anxiety after several ssri's attempted, seem to have developed severe sensitivity to any drug, but giving severe reactions put on cipralex drop form.started on 2 drops and had to increase by 1 drop every 3 days. Eventually got to 12 drops and had to stop as side effects every step of the way dreadful. Psychiatrist kept telling me to stick with it and my body would get used to it. Eventually down to 8 drops. Bad reactions throughout the time I was on it Have been on this until may 2017. Stopped over two weeks. Felt fine for 5 weeks after initial dizziness, nightmares, nausea, insomnia. Given diazepam by gp and told to take them when anxiety bad. Have only taken them very rarely as they frighten me. Last two weeks severe anxiety returned and feeling hopeless 11July 2017. Cipralex 2mg. Anxiety, nausea still severe 13 July 2017 Cipralex 1mg due to advice of too high dosage by kind person on thus site. so dropped from 2mg to 1mg and feelings of anxiety still at severe. As well as nausea, headaches, fatigue. 15 July still feeling extremely anxious verging on panic. Nausea, feelings of fainting, fatigue. Lots of head pains 3 August. Three weeks into trying to stabilise on one drop of cipralex. Still have waking from 4am. Sporadic upset stomach. Nausea. High anxiety. Throbbing/burning in nether regions seems to have eased for time being but stabbing/burning in calves of legs. Tinnitus. Occasional half to whole better days but mainly still struggling. Fatigue Link to comment
Littlegrandma Posted October 13, 2017 Share Posted October 13, 2017 I'm so sorry you are suffering again. I wish there was something I could do or say. I'm scared for you. I'm just scared. Hang in there. I know you are doing all the right things. It's just a matter of time. I just wanted you to know, as always, I'm thinking about you. Hugs lg Lex 4.3mg, 3/2/18 Ativan ,5 mg, lunesta 2 mg , toprol 25 mg Oct 16-28 2018 C/O to 19 mg V from 1.5 mg Ativan, 1.3 mg lunesta jan 22 2019- 11 mg V jan 23 - pneumonia, 2 AB’s. Hold taper july 5- 10.72 V July 6- 11 mg V- ugly bad july 11- 10.72 mg V, 4.3 lex, 25 mg toprol Link to comment
Scorpio Posted October 13, 2017 Author Share Posted October 13, 2017 Hi lg thank you so much but I am desperate at the moment back to 4.30am waking and the depression is so enveloping I cannot climb out of it. The anxiety and nausea, dizziness are all through the roof. I can’t believe last week although not good was so much better and this wave seems never ending and much worse. I can’t do even simple tasks. Tony is once again talking Doctors as he doesn’t know what to do. I feel so useless it is just horrible. I hope you have woken up to a better day. Hugs 2006 After sudden death of mother put on 20mg of citaloprom for depression. 2014 Drug stopped working after two weeks of panic attacks felt fine. Aug 2014. Doctor put me on lyrica for rash on face, diarrhoea, sleeplessness,muscle cramp, bruising. Initial dose too strong, halved dose. Stopped taking it 22/10/14 2014 severe anxiety after several ssri's attempted, seem to have developed severe sensitivity to any drug, but giving severe reactions put on cipralex drop form.started on 2 drops and had to increase by 1 drop every 3 days. Eventually got to 12 drops and had to stop as side effects every step of the way dreadful. Psychiatrist kept telling me to stick with it and my body would get used to it. Eventually down to 8 drops. Bad reactions throughout the time I was on it Have been on this until may 2017. Stopped over two weeks. Felt fine for 5 weeks after initial dizziness, nightmares, nausea, insomnia. Given diazepam by gp and told to take them when anxiety bad. Have only taken them very rarely as they frighten me. Last two weeks severe anxiety returned and feeling hopeless 11July 2017. Cipralex 2mg. Anxiety, nausea still severe 13 July 2017 Cipralex 1mg due to advice of too high dosage by kind person on thus site. so dropped from 2mg to 1mg and feelings of anxiety still at severe. As well as nausea, headaches, fatigue. 15 July still feeling extremely anxious verging on panic. Nausea, feelings of fainting, fatigue. Lots of head pains 3 August. Three weeks into trying to stabilise on one drop of cipralex. Still have waking from 4am. Sporadic upset stomach. Nausea. High anxiety. Throbbing/burning in nether regions seems to have eased for time being but stabbing/burning in calves of legs. Tinnitus. Occasional half to whole better days but mainly still struggling. Fatigue Link to comment
Littlegrandma Posted October 13, 2017 Share Posted October 13, 2017 Unfortunately, I like you, got the 4am cortisol wake up call. All the other symptoms through the roof too. So scared. So tired of this. I have unscheduled babysitting duty. I should be going to Jims grandmas funeral but can not do it. No way I could drive that far. I have to get Madelyn from school and watch the kids til mom and dad get home. Jonathan still has a high fever and is now getting dehydrated as he won't eat or drink anything. It never ends. I hope things are settling down for you. Maybe seeing a dr isn't a bad idea. Don't know what they'd do. But maybe eliminate something else going on. I don't know. I'm just so scared for both of us. It's hard to relax the mind with all of this going on and family to worry about. Hugs XO. Lg Lex 4.3mg, 3/2/18 Ativan ,5 mg, lunesta 2 mg , toprol 25 mg Oct 16-28 2018 C/O to 19 mg V from 1.5 mg Ativan, 1.3 mg lunesta jan 22 2019- 11 mg V jan 23 - pneumonia, 2 AB’s. Hold taper july 5- 10.72 V July 6- 11 mg V- ugly bad july 11- 10.72 mg V, 4.3 lex, 25 mg toprol Link to comment
Scorpio Posted October 13, 2017 Author Share Posted October 13, 2017 Hi lg So sorry you are suffering the same, god isn’t it awful. How you going to manage with the little ones, poor Jonathan it is so heartbreaking when the babies get ill. That makes two of us missing funerals this week. No don’t want to see a dr they just reel out the same suggestions and I don’t want to do that. Luisa came in with the baby for a couple of hours but even she noticed I wasn’t coping well with Jude I am at my wits end and can’t stop crying. Just about to give up at the moment. 2006 After sudden death of mother put on 20mg of citaloprom for depression. 2014 Drug stopped working after two weeks of panic attacks felt fine. Aug 2014. Doctor put me on lyrica for rash on face, diarrhoea, sleeplessness,muscle cramp, bruising. Initial dose too strong, halved dose. Stopped taking it 22/10/14 2014 severe anxiety after several ssri's attempted, seem to have developed severe sensitivity to any drug, but giving severe reactions put on cipralex drop form.started on 2 drops and had to increase by 1 drop every 3 days. Eventually got to 12 drops and had to stop as side effects every step of the way dreadful. Psychiatrist kept telling me to stick with it and my body would get used to it. Eventually down to 8 drops. Bad reactions throughout the time I was on it Have been on this until may 2017. Stopped over two weeks. Felt fine for 5 weeks after initial dizziness, nightmares, nausea, insomnia. Given diazepam by gp and told to take them when anxiety bad. Have only taken them very rarely as they frighten me. Last two weeks severe anxiety returned and feeling hopeless 11July 2017. Cipralex 2mg. Anxiety, nausea still severe 13 July 2017 Cipralex 1mg due to advice of too high dosage by kind person on thus site. so dropped from 2mg to 1mg and feelings of anxiety still at severe. As well as nausea, headaches, fatigue. 15 July still feeling extremely anxious verging on panic. Nausea, feelings of fainting, fatigue. Lots of head pains 3 August. Three weeks into trying to stabilise on one drop of cipralex. Still have waking from 4am. Sporadic upset stomach. Nausea. High anxiety. Throbbing/burning in nether regions seems to have eased for time being but stabbing/burning in calves of legs. Tinnitus. Occasional half to whole better days but mainly still struggling. Fatigue Link to comment
Littlegrandma Posted October 13, 2017 Share Posted October 13, 2017 No. Can't give up. As hopeless as it feels, it will get better. We have to believe it!! I can't cry today. I have makeup on. Don't want to be a mess when I pick up Madelyn. Her teachers are strong women who think I'm a saint. Haha. Don't want them to see through me. I'm praying you get a reprieve for a few moments of peace this evening. Lg Lex 4.3mg, 3/2/18 Ativan ,5 mg, lunesta 2 mg , toprol 25 mg Oct 16-28 2018 C/O to 19 mg V from 1.5 mg Ativan, 1.3 mg lunesta jan 22 2019- 11 mg V jan 23 - pneumonia, 2 AB’s. Hold taper july 5- 10.72 V July 6- 11 mg V- ugly bad july 11- 10.72 mg V, 4.3 lex, 25 mg toprol Link to comment
Scorpio Posted October 13, 2017 Author Share Posted October 13, 2017 Hi lg you are doing brilliantly if you have make on and out. I am so impressed it seems like forever that I put any on. Hugs 2006 After sudden death of mother put on 20mg of citaloprom for depression. 2014 Drug stopped working after two weeks of panic attacks felt fine. Aug 2014. Doctor put me on lyrica for rash on face, diarrhoea, sleeplessness,muscle cramp, bruising. Initial dose too strong, halved dose. Stopped taking it 22/10/14 2014 severe anxiety after several ssri's attempted, seem to have developed severe sensitivity to any drug, but giving severe reactions put on cipralex drop form.started on 2 drops and had to increase by 1 drop every 3 days. Eventually got to 12 drops and had to stop as side effects every step of the way dreadful. Psychiatrist kept telling me to stick with it and my body would get used to it. Eventually down to 8 drops. Bad reactions throughout the time I was on it Have been on this until may 2017. Stopped over two weeks. Felt fine for 5 weeks after initial dizziness, nightmares, nausea, insomnia. Given diazepam by gp and told to take them when anxiety bad. Have only taken them very rarely as they frighten me. Last two weeks severe anxiety returned and feeling hopeless 11July 2017. Cipralex 2mg. Anxiety, nausea still severe 13 July 2017 Cipralex 1mg due to advice of too high dosage by kind person on thus site. so dropped from 2mg to 1mg and feelings of anxiety still at severe. As well as nausea, headaches, fatigue. 15 July still feeling extremely anxious verging on panic. Nausea, feelings of fainting, fatigue. Lots of head pains 3 August. Three weeks into trying to stabilise on one drop of cipralex. Still have waking from 4am. Sporadic upset stomach. Nausea. High anxiety. Throbbing/burning in nether regions seems to have eased for time being but stabbing/burning in calves of legs. Tinnitus. Occasional half to whole better days but mainly still struggling. Fatigue Link to comment
Flowers Posted October 13, 2017 Share Posted October 13, 2017 Hi Scorpio So sorry things are worse than when we last spoke. Just wanted you to know I am thinking of you. All you can do is take one step at a time, one day at a time. Hope you are able to watch and enjoy Cold Feet later tonight? Love and hugs Flowers xxx 15 yrs on 20 to 30 mgs CITALOPRAM. MAY 2014 Increased to 40 mgs per day.SEPT/NOV 2014 tapered in 6 weeks down to 10 mgs as per Dr instructions due to violent nightmares/palpitations.Given Noctamid (lormetazepam) to help with anxiety. On average took 2mg per day for 8 weeks.No taper was advised.DEC 2014 WD severe. Nervous tic in eyes and limbs, muscle pain,fluct temp, weakness, dep and anxiety, nausea, giddy, unstable when walking. Different Dr suggested taking 20mgs CIT. BROMAZEPAM 3mgs up to 3 x daily for anxiety.DEC 9 2014 Updose CIT to 30mgs. Only taking BROMAZEPAM in emergency.DEC 31 2014 Settling at 30mg CIT - helping with depression. No Brom for 2wks.Found SA.APR 2015 Trying to stabilise on 30mgs CIT. JAN 2016 Started Cit Taper reducing by 5% per month. 28.5 mgs FEB Taper held bereavement. APR Taper resumed 27mgs . MAY 25.50 mgs . JUNE 24 mgs . JULY I stupidly mixed up my BP meds with CIT. Consequently took no CIT for 3 days and doubled my BP meds. Waiting for the fallout....Holding for a while until any chance of repercussions have abated. SEPT taper resumed to 22.5 mgs . OCT 21 mgs .NOV 19.95 mgs DEC crashed. 2017: FEB 3rd updose to 20.5 mgs to try to stabilise.FEB.switched over to 75mgs of Venlafaxine XR for 3 weeks.Too stimulating so switching back to Cit. 12 March 37.5 Ven and 20 Cit. 21 March 18mg Ven 20mg Cit. 4 April 9mg Ven 20mg Cit. Xanax .50mg when needed. 13 April 0 mgs Ven, 20mg Citalopram. Xanax .50 mg per day. 5 May reinstated a small amount of Ven to stabilize 1 mg twice a day. 20 mg Citalopram at night. Xanax .25 mg twice per day.Other Meds: Losartan (BP)Started 1993 at 50 mgs at night. Seretide (Asthma) Started 1996 at 1 puff twice a day. Jan 2019 Antibiotic Ceclor 500mgs twice a day for bronchitis and Atrovent 2ml capsules twice a day for asthma. Finished the course of both Jan 17. XANAX Jan 27 - Feb 3 2019 Failed Valium Crossover. Feb 14 2019 Updosed Xanax by .0625 Feb 17 2019 Decreased Xanax by .0625. Back to .50mg daily. Update Xanax 28.2.20 tapered to .1250 mg 8am .25 mg midnight. Update Xanax 11.8.21 tapered to .25 mg at night. Current Meds 28.2.19: CITALOPRAM 20mg taken at midnight. VENLAFAXINE .9 mg twice a day at 8am and 10pm. XANAX .50 mg split into 4 doses per day. 10am .0625mg / 2pm .1250mg/ 6pm .0625mg / midnight .25mg.Update 10.8.22 .25 mg at night. LOSARTAN 50 mgs taken at midnight. SERETIDE 1 puff taken at 8am and 10pm. 7.7.19 VENLAFAXINE UPDATE: Started tapering 10% every 4 weeks. Currently .4 mg twice a day at 8am and 10 pm. 2.9.19 .36 mg x 2. 1.10.19 .32 mg x 2. 26.11.19 .29 mg x2. 26.12.19 .26 mg x 2. 23.1.20 .23 mg x 2. 20.2.20 .21 mg x2.20.3.20 .19 mg x 2. 21.4.20 .17 mg x 2. 19.5.20 .13 mg x 2. 18.6.20 .11mg x 2 .18.7.20.10 mg x 2.1.9.20.09 mg x 2. 30.9. 20 .08 mg x 2. 1.11.20 .07 mg x 2. 2.12.20 .06 mg x 2. 8.1.21 .05 mg x 2. 4.2.21 .04 mg x 2. 9.3.21 .03 mgx2. 7.4.21 .02 mg x 2. 9.5.21 .01 mg x 2. 21.6.21 .01 mg x 1. 11.8.21 ZERO! Link to comment
Scorpio Posted October 13, 2017 Author Share Posted October 13, 2017 Hi flowers thank you my friend for your support when you are only just coming out of your own miserable wave. I just feel so helpless and eaten up with this depression and anxiety. It makes me feel so frightened it won’t change again yes I will try and watch cold feet and hopefully take me away from this for a short while. Graham norton too. I did what you suggested and my husband dragged me round the block for about 20 minutes this afternoon. Will keep trying your tips and hopefully they will ease this. Hope you enjoyed your day and looking forward to the weekend. Big hugs 2006 After sudden death of mother put on 20mg of citaloprom for depression. 2014 Drug stopped working after two weeks of panic attacks felt fine. Aug 2014. Doctor put me on lyrica for rash on face, diarrhoea, sleeplessness,muscle cramp, bruising. Initial dose too strong, halved dose. Stopped taking it 22/10/14 2014 severe anxiety after several ssri's attempted, seem to have developed severe sensitivity to any drug, but giving severe reactions put on cipralex drop form.started on 2 drops and had to increase by 1 drop every 3 days. Eventually got to 12 drops and had to stop as side effects every step of the way dreadful. Psychiatrist kept telling me to stick with it and my body would get used to it. Eventually down to 8 drops. Bad reactions throughout the time I was on it Have been on this until may 2017. Stopped over two weeks. Felt fine for 5 weeks after initial dizziness, nightmares, nausea, insomnia. Given diazepam by gp and told to take them when anxiety bad. Have only taken them very rarely as they frighten me. Last two weeks severe anxiety returned and feeling hopeless 11July 2017. Cipralex 2mg. Anxiety, nausea still severe 13 July 2017 Cipralex 1mg due to advice of too high dosage by kind person on thus site. so dropped from 2mg to 1mg and feelings of anxiety still at severe. As well as nausea, headaches, fatigue. 15 July still feeling extremely anxious verging on panic. Nausea, feelings of fainting, fatigue. Lots of head pains 3 August. Three weeks into trying to stabilise on one drop of cipralex. Still have waking from 4am. Sporadic upset stomach. Nausea. High anxiety. Throbbing/burning in nether regions seems to have eased for time being but stabbing/burning in calves of legs. Tinnitus. Occasional half to whole better days but mainly still struggling. Fatigue Link to comment
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