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Scorpio: Will this ever end?


Scorpio

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Hey Scorpio,

Just a quick note to say I am thinking of you.  Took melatonin a bit ago and hoping that that sucker kicks in.  The smoke here is dissipating, so I opened the windows.  Hopefully, it won't smell like a BBQ too soon.  Oh I hope your day went well.  I am trying to not think about mine.  Not bad really, but just don't want to think about anything at the moment.  Just want a peaceful head.  If only I had a mute button for the constant chatter that takes place in my brain....

 take care my friend,

Peaceful day to you,

JS

26 years of Anti-depressants (probably 32, lost track, alone and/in combination Vyvanse 30mg Discontinued Feb. 22, 2013 Topamax  25-75mg Feb 23, 2013--Feb 2016 0.0 mg Discontinued  Lamotrigine 25-50mg Jan 15, 2016-Adverse Reaction Discontinued Feb 2, 2016 T3 25-50mcg Feb.11, 2016  Discontinued April 23, 2016

Escitalopram 20mg-omg fast taper Nov. 2015-Jan.7, 2016 Crash! Reinstated 20mg  Taper Jan 14, 2016  0.0mg Sept 2016 Reinstated Feb.21, 2017 Escitalopram  5mg Dosage Adjustments  Escitalopram to 2.5mg June 28-30; Increased to 3.75mg July 1-28, 2017    July 29-Aug 4 10mg, alternated between 5 and 10mg next couple days.  Aug 9, 7.25mg;  Aug 10-14 10mg; Aug 15-25 7.25mg, August 25-29, 10mg.   

Levofloxacin (January 2017 2 doses) (Adverse Reaction: Neurotoxcity; 3 daysE.R.$30k+tests)

Adderall 25mgXR (start April 23, 2013) (Nov.2016 20mg) (Dec.2016 15mg) (Feb. 5, 2016 10mg) (June 15, 2017) 5mg XR 

Crossover July 7 to Adderall I.M 5mg Discontinued  Reinstated Adderall 5mgXR  July 28th 

Minipress 1mg began July 20-23, 2mg July 24 last dose Discontinued  (Prescribed to assist with side-effects of updose of Escitalopram) WellbutrinXR 150 mg July 24, 2017 Discontinued;  Hydroxyline 25-200 mg daily, began July 20, Discontnued; (Prescribed for side-effects-sensitized; W/D)Gababentin 100mg August 28, 8/29: 00mg, 8/30/17 100mg discontinued (Prescribed for side-effects of sensitized, W//D)Zolipidem PRN (2.5mg.) Reinstated May 15, 2017 after18m+ discontinuation Between May and  Aug18-Aug 30, 2017 Discontinued

Aug. 30. 2017 Escitalopram 8.2mg, Sept. 6 Ecitalopram (7.25 tablet) September 28 Escitalopram   (7 mg tablet)   Omega 3's , October 1 Escitalopram (6.25...I think)  November 1, Escitalopram (approx. 5.75mg) December 1 (5mg)  Missed .75 for few days, lowered dose.  W/D ramped up Dec.23;  Escitalopram 4mg tab. .75ml liquid March 5.  Adderall XR 5mg, Synthroid 112mcg  March 23 Escitalopram 4mg tab .50ml liquid.April 23 Escotalopram 4mgtab .25ml liquid Escitalopram dropping .25 every 30 days; July 23, 2018 Escitalopram 3.50mg, Adderall XR 5mg, Synthroid 112mcg 

July 2021:  Took last dose of Escitalopram .02mg.  Do dah!

Current:   Synthroid/Generic 100mcg decreased November, 2018  (TSH has changed 5 times since August 30, 2018 resulting in both Hyper and hypothyroid symptoms.)  November 1, 2018, increased Adderall XR to 10mg to combat brain fog after decrease in Synthroid.

 

 

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4 hours ago, JS11 said:

Hey Scorpio,

Just a quick note to say I am thinking of you.  Took melatonin a bit ago and hoping that that sucker kicks in.  The smoke here is dissipating, so I opened the windows.  Hopefully, it won't smell like a BBQ too soon.  Oh I hope your day went well.  I am trying to not think about mine.  Not bad really, but just don't want to think about anything at the moment.  Just want a peaceful head.  If only I had a mute button for the constant chatter that takes place in my brain....

 take care my friend,

Peaceful day to you,

JS

Hi JS

im sorry I didn't reply to your message but have been in dreadful state. Hot sweats, violent headaches, nausea, tingling, aching muscles and terrifying anxiety. Build up to the week but oh so scary. Lost control completely and cried for a lot of the day. 

Last night slept til 6am doesn't make sense does it. 

So pleased the smoke has abated for you and at least you can open the windows again. I feel like I have been in a boxing match everything hurts 

have you managed your packing?  

Sorry it's so short but really struggling today. 

Hope you are ok. 

2006 After sudden death of mother put on 20mg of citaloprom for depression. 

2014 Drug stopped working after two weeks of panic attacks felt fine. 

Aug 2014. Doctor put me on lyrica for rash on face, diarrhoea, sleeplessness,muscle cramp, bruising. Initial dose too strong, halved dose.  Stopped taking it 22/10/14

2014 severe anxiety after several ssri's attempted, seem to have developed severe  sensitivity to any drug, but giving severe  reactions put on cipralex drop form.started on 2 drops and had to increase by 1 drop every 3 days. Eventually got to 12 drops and had to stop as side effects every step of the way dreadful. Psychiatrist kept telling me to stick with it and my body would get used to it.  Eventually down to 8 drops. Bad reactions throughout the time I was on it

Have been on this until may 2017. Stopped over two weeks. Felt fine for 5 weeks after initial dizziness, nightmares, nausea, insomnia.  

Given diazepam by gp and told to take them when anxiety bad. Have only taken them very rarely as they frighten me. 

Last two weeks severe anxiety returned and feeling hopeless 

11July 2017. Cipralex 2mg. Anxiety, nausea still severe

13 July 2017 Cipralex 1mg due to advice of too high dosage  by kind person on thus site. so dropped from 2mg to 1mg and feelings of anxiety still at severe. As well as nausea, headaches, fatigue. 

15 July still feeling extremely anxious verging on panic. Nausea, feelings of fainting, fatigue. Lots of head pains 

3 August. Three weeks into trying to stabilise on one drop of cipralex. Still have waking from 4am. Sporadic upset stomach. Nausea.  High anxiety.  Throbbing/burning in nether regions seems to have eased for time being but stabbing/burning in calves of legs. Tinnitus. Occasional half to whole better days but mainly still struggling. Fatigue   

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On 06/09/2017 at 7:48 PM, Scorpio said:

Hi bubble

thank you so much. Your words always give me a calmer feeling and I manage to keep going again. Yes it is terribly unfair to all of us I am just keeping fingers crossed it doesn't repeat tonight. 

Hi bubble 

sorry but back bothering you again. After those three  lovely days and the trauma of my poor husband being ill on Sunday  yesterday I spent just wanting to sleep with nausea at high level. Today back to early hours anxiety, loss of appetite, nausea, stomach singing to me, ears playing their own tunes again and very light headed. Just so frightened it's not going to stabilise and let me reach a plateau where I can function. 

9 weeks tomorrow and it's just so hard  

2006 After sudden death of mother put on 20mg of citaloprom for depression. 

2014 Drug stopped working after two weeks of panic attacks felt fine. 

Aug 2014. Doctor put me on lyrica for rash on face, diarrhoea, sleeplessness,muscle cramp, bruising. Initial dose too strong, halved dose.  Stopped taking it 22/10/14

2014 severe anxiety after several ssri's attempted, seem to have developed severe  sensitivity to any drug, but giving severe  reactions put on cipralex drop form.started on 2 drops and had to increase by 1 drop every 3 days. Eventually got to 12 drops and had to stop as side effects every step of the way dreadful. Psychiatrist kept telling me to stick with it and my body would get used to it.  Eventually down to 8 drops. Bad reactions throughout the time I was on it

Have been on this until may 2017. Stopped over two weeks. Felt fine for 5 weeks after initial dizziness, nightmares, nausea, insomnia.  

Given diazepam by gp and told to take them when anxiety bad. Have only taken them very rarely as they frighten me. 

Last two weeks severe anxiety returned and feeling hopeless 

11July 2017. Cipralex 2mg. Anxiety, nausea still severe

13 July 2017 Cipralex 1mg due to advice of too high dosage  by kind person on thus site. so dropped from 2mg to 1mg and feelings of anxiety still at severe. As well as nausea, headaches, fatigue. 

15 July still feeling extremely anxious verging on panic. Nausea, feelings of fainting, fatigue. Lots of head pains 

3 August. Three weeks into trying to stabilise on one drop of cipralex. Still have waking from 4am. Sporadic upset stomach. Nausea.  High anxiety.  Throbbing/burning in nether regions seems to have eased for time being but stabbing/burning in calves of legs. Tinnitus. Occasional half to whole better days but mainly still struggling. Fatigue   

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Hi bubble

still going through this terrible time. Unable to eat or do anything just a crying heap with anxiety ripping through me constantly. Can something like a little stress with my husband cause such a bad wave. I am in complete despair and can't see it ever getting better. 

2006 After sudden death of mother put on 20mg of citaloprom for depression. 

2014 Drug stopped working after two weeks of panic attacks felt fine. 

Aug 2014. Doctor put me on lyrica for rash on face, diarrhoea, sleeplessness,muscle cramp, bruising. Initial dose too strong, halved dose.  Stopped taking it 22/10/14

2014 severe anxiety after several ssri's attempted, seem to have developed severe  sensitivity to any drug, but giving severe  reactions put on cipralex drop form.started on 2 drops and had to increase by 1 drop every 3 days. Eventually got to 12 drops and had to stop as side effects every step of the way dreadful. Psychiatrist kept telling me to stick with it and my body would get used to it.  Eventually down to 8 drops. Bad reactions throughout the time I was on it

Have been on this until may 2017. Stopped over two weeks. Felt fine for 5 weeks after initial dizziness, nightmares, nausea, insomnia.  

Given diazepam by gp and told to take them when anxiety bad. Have only taken them very rarely as they frighten me. 

Last two weeks severe anxiety returned and feeling hopeless 

11July 2017. Cipralex 2mg. Anxiety, nausea still severe

13 July 2017 Cipralex 1mg due to advice of too high dosage  by kind person on thus site. so dropped from 2mg to 1mg and feelings of anxiety still at severe. As well as nausea, headaches, fatigue. 

15 July still feeling extremely anxious verging on panic. Nausea, feelings of fainting, fatigue. Lots of head pains 

3 August. Three weeks into trying to stabilise on one drop of cipralex. Still have waking from 4am. Sporadic upset stomach. Nausea.  High anxiety.  Throbbing/burning in nether regions seems to have eased for time being but stabbing/burning in calves of legs. Tinnitus. Occasional half to whole better days but mainly still struggling. Fatigue   

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7 minutes ago, Scorpio said:

Can something like a little stress with my husband cause such a bad wave.

 

Stress has a huge impact on our nervous system.  Even good stress, like excitement.  The brain has to divert its attention away from healing to deal with the stress.

 

Unfortunately stressful situations aren't going to stop just because we are experiencing withdrawal.  That's why It's important to learn and use non drug techniques to help ourselves stay as calm as possible.

 

Last year when my dog died my daughter was concerned about how it would affect me.  She suggested that I check in with myself throughout the day to check to see how I was feeling.  I set a timer for an hour so I would remember.  It really helped me to nip any anxiety in the bud before it became full blown when it might have developed into a melt down because of the fear.  I've found that ever since then I have been much more mindful and checking in with myself has become part of my life now.  I also use concentrated deep breathing and self talk when needed.

* NO LONGER ACTIVE on SA *

MISSION ACCOMPLISHED:  (6 year taper)      0mg Pristiq  on 13th November 2021

ADs since ~1992:  25+ years - 1 unknown, Prozac (muscle weakness), Zoloft; citalopram (pooped out) CTed (very sick for 2.5 wks a few months after); Pristiq:  50mg 2012, 100mg beg 2013 (Serotonin Toxicity)  Tapering from Oct 2015 - 13 Nov 2021   LAST DOSE 0.0025mg

Post 0 updates start here    My tapering program     My Intro (goes to tapering graph)

 VIDEO:   Antidepressant Withdrawal Syndrome and its Management

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46 minutes ago, ChessieCat said:

 

Stress has a huge impact on our nervous system.  Even good stress, like excitement.  The brain has to divert its attention away from healing to deal with the stress.

 

Unfortunately stressful situations aren't going to stop just because we are experiencing withdrawal.  That's why It's important to learn and use non drug techniques to help ourselves stay as calm as possible.

 

Last year when my dog died my daughter was concerned about how it would affect me.  She suggested that I check in with myself throughout the day to check to see how I was feeling.  I set a timer for an hour so I would remember.  It really helped me to nip any anxiety in the bud before it became full blown when it might have developed into a melt down because of the fear.  I've found that ever since then I have been much more mindful and checking in with myself has become part of my life now.  I also use concentrated deep breathing and self talk when needed.

Hi chessie cat

thank you for replying so quickly. I understand what you are saying and did keep telling myself to keep calm but it obviously didn't reach the parts it needed to. I am trying the deep breathing but concentration is hard at the moment. The anxiety and nausea are overriding everything. 

 

2006 After sudden death of mother put on 20mg of citaloprom for depression. 

2014 Drug stopped working after two weeks of panic attacks felt fine. 

Aug 2014. Doctor put me on lyrica for rash on face, diarrhoea, sleeplessness,muscle cramp, bruising. Initial dose too strong, halved dose.  Stopped taking it 22/10/14

2014 severe anxiety after several ssri's attempted, seem to have developed severe  sensitivity to any drug, but giving severe  reactions put on cipralex drop form.started on 2 drops and had to increase by 1 drop every 3 days. Eventually got to 12 drops and had to stop as side effects every step of the way dreadful. Psychiatrist kept telling me to stick with it and my body would get used to it.  Eventually down to 8 drops. Bad reactions throughout the time I was on it

Have been on this until may 2017. Stopped over two weeks. Felt fine for 5 weeks after initial dizziness, nightmares, nausea, insomnia.  

Given diazepam by gp and told to take them when anxiety bad. Have only taken them very rarely as they frighten me. 

Last two weeks severe anxiety returned and feeling hopeless 

11July 2017. Cipralex 2mg. Anxiety, nausea still severe

13 July 2017 Cipralex 1mg due to advice of too high dosage  by kind person on thus site. so dropped from 2mg to 1mg and feelings of anxiety still at severe. As well as nausea, headaches, fatigue. 

15 July still feeling extremely anxious verging on panic. Nausea, feelings of fainting, fatigue. Lots of head pains 

3 August. Three weeks into trying to stabilise on one drop of cipralex. Still have waking from 4am. Sporadic upset stomach. Nausea.  High anxiety.  Throbbing/burning in nether regions seems to have eased for time being but stabbing/burning in calves of legs. Tinnitus. Occasional half to whole better days but mainly still struggling. Fatigue   

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Hi Scorpio . Unfortunately, what is seen as a little stress to others can be amplified in withdrawal therefore taking on a greater meaning. Sometimes emotions can spiral and this is explained in this link  : the main thing is to let them pass. Acknowledge and accept them - then let go. It helps if you can picture them " floating" by like clouds in the sky or leaves down a river. Stop ... breathe ... picture 

http://survivingantidepressants.org/topic/13492-dealing-with-emotional-spirals/ 

 

Have you tried Magnesium - baths / oil / supplement?  Magnesium, nature's calcium channel blocker

I have found Magnesium to be a natural relaxer and it has been a major part of my coping toolbox. If you haven't tried it yet, it may be worthwhile. Always start low and work your way up in dose slowly and gently.

 

One of the other tools that I and others have found particularly effective for anxiety is :  Legs up the wall.

Hope this helps.

Ali

Edited by AliG

Many SSRI's and SSNRI's over 20 years. Zoloft for 7 years followed by Effexor, Lexapro, Prozac, Cymbalta, Celexa, Pristiq, Valdoxan, Mianserin and more - on and off. No tapering. Cold turkey off Valdoxan - end of May 2014

 

                                                  Psych Drug - free since May 2014
.
         

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1 hour ago, AliG said:

Hi Scorpio . Unfortunately, what is seen as a little stress to others can be amplified in withdrawal therefore taking on a greater meaning. Sometimes emotions can spiral and this is explained in this link  : the main thing is to let them pass. Acknowledge and accept them - then let go. It helps if you can picture them " floating" by like clouds in the sky or leaves down a river. Stop ... breathe ... picture 

http://survivingantidepressants.org/topic/13492-dealing-with-emotional-spirals/ 

 

Have you tried Magnesium - baths / oil / supplement?  Magnesium, nature's calcium channel blocker

I have found Magnesium to be a natural relaxer and it has been a major part of my coping toolbox. If you haven't tried it yet, it may be worthwhile. Always start low and work your way up in dose slowly and gently.

 

One of the other tools that I and others have found particularly effective for anxiety is :  Legs up the wall.

Hope this helps.

Ali

Hi aliG

thank you for your response. It seems at the moment the anxiety is just overwhelming me that's without nausea etc playing havoc. 

I seem unable to take anything to help. I tried magnesium a few weeks ago and had brilliant relief for 2 days and then seemed to kick me. Vitamin c was the same. The magnesium I tried was calm powder and only half a teaspoon in water  don't know if it's worth trying again. I seem to be so sensitive to everything. 

2006 After sudden death of mother put on 20mg of citaloprom for depression. 

2014 Drug stopped working after two weeks of panic attacks felt fine. 

Aug 2014. Doctor put me on lyrica for rash on face, diarrhoea, sleeplessness,muscle cramp, bruising. Initial dose too strong, halved dose.  Stopped taking it 22/10/14

2014 severe anxiety after several ssri's attempted, seem to have developed severe  sensitivity to any drug, but giving severe  reactions put on cipralex drop form.started on 2 drops and had to increase by 1 drop every 3 days. Eventually got to 12 drops and had to stop as side effects every step of the way dreadful. Psychiatrist kept telling me to stick with it and my body would get used to it.  Eventually down to 8 drops. Bad reactions throughout the time I was on it

Have been on this until may 2017. Stopped over two weeks. Felt fine for 5 weeks after initial dizziness, nightmares, nausea, insomnia.  

Given diazepam by gp and told to take them when anxiety bad. Have only taken them very rarely as they frighten me. 

Last two weeks severe anxiety returned and feeling hopeless 

11July 2017. Cipralex 2mg. Anxiety, nausea still severe

13 July 2017 Cipralex 1mg due to advice of too high dosage  by kind person on thus site. so dropped from 2mg to 1mg and feelings of anxiety still at severe. As well as nausea, headaches, fatigue. 

15 July still feeling extremely anxious verging on panic. Nausea, feelings of fainting, fatigue. Lots of head pains 

3 August. Three weeks into trying to stabilise on one drop of cipralex. Still have waking from 4am. Sporadic upset stomach. Nausea.  High anxiety.  Throbbing/burning in nether regions seems to have eased for time being but stabbing/burning in calves of legs. Tinnitus. Occasional half to whole better days but mainly still struggling. Fatigue   

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Have you tried an Epsom's salt bath? It is one way of directly absorbing magnesium into the body. Some have found that slowly sipping Magnesium in water throughout the day also helps to ease anxiety. There is also magnesium oil which is worth trying however sometimes even the basics can be somewhat sensitizing and in that case perhaps you need to step back and rely on other non- drug coping skills. Non-drug techniques to cope with emotional symptoms

Please also read Emotional Spirals.These can have a vast impact during withdrawal and it's probably worth trying to master the skills sooner than later.   

Many SSRI's and SSNRI's over 20 years. Zoloft for 7 years followed by Effexor, Lexapro, Prozac, Cymbalta, Celexa, Pristiq, Valdoxan, Mianserin and more - on and off. No tapering. Cold turkey off Valdoxan - end of May 2014

 

                                                  Psych Drug - free since May 2014
.
         

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1 hour ago, AliG said:

Have you tried an Epsom's salt bath? It is one way of directly absorbing magnesium into the body. Some have found that slowly sipping Magnesium in water throughout the day also helps to ease anxiety. There is also magnesium oil which is worth trying however sometimes even the basics can be somewhat sensitizing and in that case perhaps you need to step back and rely on other non- drug coping skills. Non-drug techniques to cope with emotional symptoms

 

 

Please also read Emotional Spirals.These can have a vast impact during withdrawal and it's probably worth trying to master the skills sooner than later.   

Hello AliG

have tried foot soaks with Epsom salts. Will have another go. Tried quarter of teaspoon of magnesium this afternoon hasn't made me worse so will try a little more tomorrow. Read the emotional spiral thread and made a lot of sense. Will have to try and make my mind concentrate on mindfulness but very difficult at moment. Thank you so much for your suggestions and will keep telling myself be positive. 

2006 After sudden death of mother put on 20mg of citaloprom for depression. 

2014 Drug stopped working after two weeks of panic attacks felt fine. 

Aug 2014. Doctor put me on lyrica for rash on face, diarrhoea, sleeplessness,muscle cramp, bruising. Initial dose too strong, halved dose.  Stopped taking it 22/10/14

2014 severe anxiety after several ssri's attempted, seem to have developed severe  sensitivity to any drug, but giving severe  reactions put on cipralex drop form.started on 2 drops and had to increase by 1 drop every 3 days. Eventually got to 12 drops and had to stop as side effects every step of the way dreadful. Psychiatrist kept telling me to stick with it and my body would get used to it.  Eventually down to 8 drops. Bad reactions throughout the time I was on it

Have been on this until may 2017. Stopped over two weeks. Felt fine for 5 weeks after initial dizziness, nightmares, nausea, insomnia.  

Given diazepam by gp and told to take them when anxiety bad. Have only taken them very rarely as they frighten me. 

Last two weeks severe anxiety returned and feeling hopeless 

11July 2017. Cipralex 2mg. Anxiety, nausea still severe

13 July 2017 Cipralex 1mg due to advice of too high dosage  by kind person on thus site. so dropped from 2mg to 1mg and feelings of anxiety still at severe. As well as nausea, headaches, fatigue. 

15 July still feeling extremely anxious verging on panic. Nausea, feelings of fainting, fatigue. Lots of head pains 

3 August. Three weeks into trying to stabilise on one drop of cipralex. Still have waking from 4am. Sporadic upset stomach. Nausea.  High anxiety.  Throbbing/burning in nether regions seems to have eased for time being but stabbing/burning in calves of legs. Tinnitus. Occasional half to whole better days but mainly still struggling. Fatigue   

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Hi Scorpio. 

Jyst checking in to see how you're doing-hoping better than a few days ago. 

I had the kids for 5 days including all day sat and sun with an overnight. Finally did me in!! 

I love the way you and js communicate. Seems like you've known each other all your lives. That's really special!  

I hope all is ok today. Thinking about you, lg

Lex  4.3mg,  3/2/18  Ativan ,5 mg,  lunesta 2 mg , toprol  25 mg                                                            

 

Oct 16-28 2018 C/O to 19 mg V from 1.5 mg Ativan, 1.3 mg lunesta 

jan 22 2019- 11 mg V

jan 23 - pneumonia, 2 AB’s. 

    Hold taper

july 5- 10.72 V

July 6- 11 mg V- ugly bad

july 11- 10.72 mg V, 4.3 lex, 

              25 mg toprol

 

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Hello little grandma 

'thank you for posting and yes jump in to posting between js and I. The three of us are in it together. Like you, have been in terrible wave since last Wednesday and can see no way out of it at the moment. My daughter got back from holiday last Thursday and have seen her and my grandson Jude three times but have  to push myself to try and appear normal for the baby. I take my hat off to you coping for 5 days - how do you do that?  I have just been a crying heap of anxiety and nausea etc. Although do put on a happy face for the baby. My poor husband whilst better is having to put up with me going nowhere and being a blob. 

'Keep fighting lg it will get better for us, we have had windows before no matter how small and we will have them again. 

2006 After sudden death of mother put on 20mg of citaloprom for depression. 

2014 Drug stopped working after two weeks of panic attacks felt fine. 

Aug 2014. Doctor put me on lyrica for rash on face, diarrhoea, sleeplessness,muscle cramp, bruising. Initial dose too strong, halved dose.  Stopped taking it 22/10/14

2014 severe anxiety after several ssri's attempted, seem to have developed severe  sensitivity to any drug, but giving severe  reactions put on cipralex drop form.started on 2 drops and had to increase by 1 drop every 3 days. Eventually got to 12 drops and had to stop as side effects every step of the way dreadful. Psychiatrist kept telling me to stick with it and my body would get used to it.  Eventually down to 8 drops. Bad reactions throughout the time I was on it

Have been on this until may 2017. Stopped over two weeks. Felt fine for 5 weeks after initial dizziness, nightmares, nausea, insomnia.  

Given diazepam by gp and told to take them when anxiety bad. Have only taken them very rarely as they frighten me. 

Last two weeks severe anxiety returned and feeling hopeless 

11July 2017. Cipralex 2mg. Anxiety, nausea still severe

13 July 2017 Cipralex 1mg due to advice of too high dosage  by kind person on thus site. so dropped from 2mg to 1mg and feelings of anxiety still at severe. As well as nausea, headaches, fatigue. 

15 July still feeling extremely anxious verging on panic. Nausea, feelings of fainting, fatigue. Lots of head pains 

3 August. Three weeks into trying to stabilise on one drop of cipralex. Still have waking from 4am. Sporadic upset stomach. Nausea.  High anxiety.  Throbbing/burning in nether regions seems to have eased for time being but stabbing/burning in calves of legs. Tinnitus. Occasional half to whole better days but mainly still struggling. Fatigue   

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Sorry you're suffering so. 

Ive been very emotional myself. It seems I cry more around my husband. He calls. I cry. Comes home from work. I cry. 

I didn't realize how far I have come in the last few weeks until I messed up last night and cut a tiny bit of my lunesta off. I guess I'm just desperate to get off of one of these drugs. But I paid the price today. Migraine is bad! Body aches. Nausea. I seem to learn everything the hard way. Too impatient and scared. I just want off these poisons. 

And of course I have the kids tomorrow. If I feel like I do today, there's no way I can do it. I just keep messing up. Back to square one. 

Hope you have a peaceful night....

lg

Lex  4.3mg,  3/2/18  Ativan ,5 mg,  lunesta 2 mg , toprol  25 mg                                                            

 

Oct 16-28 2018 C/O to 19 mg V from 1.5 mg Ativan, 1.3 mg lunesta 

jan 22 2019- 11 mg V

jan 23 - pneumonia, 2 AB’s. 

    Hold taper

july 5- 10.72 V

July 6- 11 mg V- ugly bad

july 11- 10.72 mg V, 4.3 lex, 

              25 mg toprol

 

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Hi lg

as far as the drugs are concerned we have to try and stabilise before we can reduce as we both know to our cost. 

I hope you are feeling better today and ready to look after the children. They do keep us focused on other things don't they even if we feel awful after we do our duty. 

My daughter is at a meeting in London today but her husbands day off so he is caring for the baby today. We have him tomorrow. After a day of being dreadful yesterday I hope I can manage a bit more today. 

Fingers crossed today is a better day for both of us. Js is in the process of moving so no internet until tomorrow hopefully. 

2006 After sudden death of mother put on 20mg of citaloprom for depression. 

2014 Drug stopped working after two weeks of panic attacks felt fine. 

Aug 2014. Doctor put me on lyrica for rash on face, diarrhoea, sleeplessness,muscle cramp, bruising. Initial dose too strong, halved dose.  Stopped taking it 22/10/14

2014 severe anxiety after several ssri's attempted, seem to have developed severe  sensitivity to any drug, but giving severe  reactions put on cipralex drop form.started on 2 drops and had to increase by 1 drop every 3 days. Eventually got to 12 drops and had to stop as side effects every step of the way dreadful. Psychiatrist kept telling me to stick with it and my body would get used to it.  Eventually down to 8 drops. Bad reactions throughout the time I was on it

Have been on this until may 2017. Stopped over two weeks. Felt fine for 5 weeks after initial dizziness, nightmares, nausea, insomnia.  

Given diazepam by gp and told to take them when anxiety bad. Have only taken them very rarely as they frighten me. 

Last two weeks severe anxiety returned and feeling hopeless 

11July 2017. Cipralex 2mg. Anxiety, nausea still severe

13 July 2017 Cipralex 1mg due to advice of too high dosage  by kind person on thus site. so dropped from 2mg to 1mg and feelings of anxiety still at severe. As well as nausea, headaches, fatigue. 

15 July still feeling extremely anxious verging on panic. Nausea, feelings of fainting, fatigue. Lots of head pains 

3 August. Three weeks into trying to stabilise on one drop of cipralex. Still have waking from 4am. Sporadic upset stomach. Nausea.  High anxiety.  Throbbing/burning in nether regions seems to have eased for time being but stabbing/burning in calves of legs. Tinnitus. Occasional half to whole better days but mainly still struggling. Fatigue   

Link to comment

Hi bubble

i saw you mentioned me in a post to little grandma and have tried replying to you a couple of times but don't know where they went?  Have been in a rotten wave since last Wednesday with a tiny window Saturday. Tried magnesium, only a half a teaspoon in large glass of water, got more anxious. Tried an Epsom salt foot soak and that didn't seem to hurt me. The only difference for the last three days have slept from 11.30 until 6.00 so I assume that is a good sign but then all those vicious symptoms hit hard for the rest of the day anxiety tearing me to bits. Today is the first day I managed to go out with my recovered husband. I dragged myself out and we had an hours boat trip round the harbour to see the ships in port as well as the Victory and Warrior two famous ships from history. Have seen them before but my husband enjoyed it, I was a little overwhelmed with it and started getting more anxious but back home now and try to relax. 

I hope you are ok as I read your brilliant thread and your hot frog. I am in awe. 

2006 After sudden death of mother put on 20mg of citaloprom for depression. 

2014 Drug stopped working after two weeks of panic attacks felt fine. 

Aug 2014. Doctor put me on lyrica for rash on face, diarrhoea, sleeplessness,muscle cramp, bruising. Initial dose too strong, halved dose.  Stopped taking it 22/10/14

2014 severe anxiety after several ssri's attempted, seem to have developed severe  sensitivity to any drug, but giving severe  reactions put on cipralex drop form.started on 2 drops and had to increase by 1 drop every 3 days. Eventually got to 12 drops and had to stop as side effects every step of the way dreadful. Psychiatrist kept telling me to stick with it and my body would get used to it.  Eventually down to 8 drops. Bad reactions throughout the time I was on it

Have been on this until may 2017. Stopped over two weeks. Felt fine for 5 weeks after initial dizziness, nightmares, nausea, insomnia.  

Given diazepam by gp and told to take them when anxiety bad. Have only taken them very rarely as they frighten me. 

Last two weeks severe anxiety returned and feeling hopeless 

11July 2017. Cipralex 2mg. Anxiety, nausea still severe

13 July 2017 Cipralex 1mg due to advice of too high dosage  by kind person on thus site. so dropped from 2mg to 1mg and feelings of anxiety still at severe. As well as nausea, headaches, fatigue. 

15 July still feeling extremely anxious verging on panic. Nausea, feelings of fainting, fatigue. Lots of head pains 

3 August. Three weeks into trying to stabilise on one drop of cipralex. Still have waking from 4am. Sporadic upset stomach. Nausea.  High anxiety.  Throbbing/burning in nether regions seems to have eased for time being but stabbing/burning in calves of legs. Tinnitus. Occasional half to whole better days but mainly still struggling. Fatigue   

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  • Moderator Emeritus

Hi Scorpio, nice to hear from you!

 

Yes, I was wondering how you were doing. Sorry to hear things are so rough but as long as you can go out and take an hour boat trip (even at the price of increased anxiety) things are not so bad. And sleeping so well for 3 days in a row is major!

 

I returned to work this week although things continue to be tough and a new pattern (not a good one) seems to be setting in so I have no idea how things will unfold. But now I seem to be making a major step forward in my acceptance journey: I believe in recovery, I believe these symptoms want hurt me so I'm just going to try and ride them out while keeping as still as possible as a sailing boat in storm, pulling down my sails, closing up all potential leaking points and letting myself go to the rocking of the stormy seas. I woke up this morning to a very bad anxiety and painfully low mood and then I listen to daily calm on my calm app. the topic was so appropriate: self-soothing.

 

One of the things it said was: there are days I drop words of comfort on myself like falling leaves

and remember that it is enough to be taken care of by myself.  

 

It managed to calm me down so that I was actually able to participate in the seminar and was just so grateful to be among 'regular' people. Don't know how long this will continue. 

 

To remind myself of you situation, I had a look at your signature. If I'm reading it right, you had been off Cipralex from May till July and 'only' reinstated in July? You are doing quite well under the circumstances as strange as that may sound. I had so many cold turkeys (advised by my doctor who believed ADs were non-addictive and could be stopped just like that :( and when I got very, very bad a month or two later it was blamed on my 'illness'. In any case, I would go back on the full dose and it would take me 3 to 4 months to stabilise. So I got used to the drill. After reinstating I would be just grateful that things would stop getting worse and knew I had no choice but to wait and hope for the best. I had to go to work and earn my living throughout all that... I trusted my doctor and it never occurred to me to look for advice on such a serious matter on the Internet. Such a big mistake, so many lost years. But I try not to think about that and am grateful that in the end I finally did google things...

 

Just focus on little positive things, a few seconds of relief, nights of good sleep and just ignore the rest. Use this time to practice and look for new ways of being kind to yourself and take care of yourself.

Current: 9/2022 Xanax 0.08, Lexapro 2

2020 Xanax 0.26 (down from 2 mg in 2013), Lexapro 2.85 mg (down from 5 mg 2013)

Amitriptyline (tricyclic AD) and clonazepam for 3 months to treat headache in 1996 
1999. - present Xanax prn up to 3 mg.
2000-2005 Prozac CT twice, 2005-2010 Zoloft CT 3 times, 2010-2013 Escitalopram 10 mg
went from 2.5 to zero on 7 Aug 2013, bad crash 40 days after
reinstated to 5 mg Escitalopram 4Oct 2013 and holding liquid Xanax every 5 hours
28 Jan 2014 Xanax 1.9, 18 Apr  2015 1 mg,  25 June 2015 Lex 4.8, 6 Aug Lexapro 4.6, 1 Jan 2016 0.64  Xanax     9 month hold

24 Sept 2016 4.5 Lex, 17 Oct 4.4 Lex (Nov 0.63 Xanax, Dec 0.625 Xanax), 1 Jan 2017 4.3 Lex, 24 Jan 4.2, 5 Feb 4.1, 24 Mar 4 mg, 10 Apr 3.9 mg, May 3.85, June 3.8, July 3.75, 22 July 3.7, 15 Aug 3.65, 17 Sept 3.6, 1 Jan 2018 3.55, 19 Jan 3.5, 16 Mar 3.4, 14 Apr 3.3, 23 May 3.2, 16 June 3.15, 15 Jul 3.1, 31 Jul 3, 21 Aug 2.9 26 Sept 2.85, 14 Nov Xan 0.61, 1 Dec 0.59, 19 Dec 0.58, 4 Jan 0.565, 6 Feb 0.55, 20 Feb 0.535, 1 Mar 0.505, 10 Mar 0.475, 14 Mar 0.45, 4 Apr 0.415, 13 Apr 0.37, 21 Apr 0.33, 29 Apr 0.29, 10 May 0.27, 17 May 0.25, 28 May 0.22, 19 June 0.22, 21 Jun updose to 0.24, 24 Jun updose to 0.26

Supplements: Omega 3 + Vit E, Vit C, D, magnesium, Taurine, probiotic 

I'm not a medical professional. Any advice I give is based on my own experience and reading. 

Link to comment
9 minutes ago, bubble said:

Hi Scorpio, nice to hear from you!

 

Yes, I was wondering how you were doing. Sorry to hear things are so rough but as long as you can go out and take an hour boat trip (even at the price of increased anxiety) things are not so bad. And sleeping so well for 3 days in a row is major!

 

I returned to work this week although things continue to be tough and a new pattern (not a good one) seems to be setting in so I have no idea how things will unfold. But now I seem to be making a major step forward in my acceptance journey: I believe in recovery, I believe these symptoms want hurt me so I'm just going to try and ride them out while keeping as still as possible as a sailing boat in storm, pulling down my sails, closing up all potential leaking points and letting myself go to the rocking of the stormy seas. I woke up this morning to a very bad anxiety and painfully low mood and then I listen to daily calm on my calm app. the topic was so appropriate: self-soothing.

 

One of the things it said was: there are days I drop words of comfort on myself like falling leaves

and remember that it is enough to be taken care of by myself.  

 

It managed to calm me down so that I was actually able to participate in the seminar and was just so grateful to be among 'regular' people. Don't know how long this will continue. 

 

To remind myself of you situation, I had a look at your signature. If I'm reading it right, you had been off Cipralex from May till July and 'only' reinstated in July? You are doing quite well under the circumstances as strange as that may sound. I had so many cold turkeys (advised by my doctor who believed ADs were non-addictive and could be stopped just like that :( and when I got very, very bad a month or two later it was blamed on my 'illness'. In any case, I would go back on the full dose and it would take me 3 to 4 months to stabilise. So I got used to the drill. After reinstating I would be just grateful that things would stop getting worse and knew I had no choice but to wait and hope for the best. I had to go to work and earn my living throughout all that... I trusted my doctor and it never occurred to me to look for advice on such a serious matter on the Internet. Such a big mistake, so many lost years. But I try not to think about that and am grateful that in the end I finally did google things...

 

Just focus on little positive things, a few seconds of relief, nights of good sleep and just ignore the rest. Use this time to practice and look for new ways of being kind to yourself and take care of yourself.

Hi bubble 

thank you even though you are in a horrible place yourself you have such a capacity of warmth and reaching out to the rest of us floundering selves. I spent two years of this horrible drug constantly being told by psychiatrists and doctors I was at fault that the drug wasn't working, causing anxiety etc, like you I believed they had more knowledge than I and stayed with this  trauma. Two nearly three  lost years for me and now this but at least I am fighting to get to a better state armed with the knowledge from sa and wonderful moderators like yourself. I am calmed by your comments on my situation and it gives me more hope to battle the really bad days as they come. 

I hope your symptoms ease for you bubble and my heart goes out to you.  We will keep fighting and one day we will all celebrate freedom. 

2006 After sudden death of mother put on 20mg of citaloprom for depression. 

2014 Drug stopped working after two weeks of panic attacks felt fine. 

Aug 2014. Doctor put me on lyrica for rash on face, diarrhoea, sleeplessness,muscle cramp, bruising. Initial dose too strong, halved dose.  Stopped taking it 22/10/14

2014 severe anxiety after several ssri's attempted, seem to have developed severe  sensitivity to any drug, but giving severe  reactions put on cipralex drop form.started on 2 drops and had to increase by 1 drop every 3 days. Eventually got to 12 drops and had to stop as side effects every step of the way dreadful. Psychiatrist kept telling me to stick with it and my body would get used to it.  Eventually down to 8 drops. Bad reactions throughout the time I was on it

Have been on this until may 2017. Stopped over two weeks. Felt fine for 5 weeks after initial dizziness, nightmares, nausea, insomnia.  

Given diazepam by gp and told to take them when anxiety bad. Have only taken them very rarely as they frighten me. 

Last two weeks severe anxiety returned and feeling hopeless 

11July 2017. Cipralex 2mg. Anxiety, nausea still severe

13 July 2017 Cipralex 1mg due to advice of too high dosage  by kind person on thus site. so dropped from 2mg to 1mg and feelings of anxiety still at severe. As well as nausea, headaches, fatigue. 

15 July still feeling extremely anxious verging on panic. Nausea, feelings of fainting, fatigue. Lots of head pains 

3 August. Three weeks into trying to stabilise on one drop of cipralex. Still have waking from 4am. Sporadic upset stomach. Nausea.  High anxiety.  Throbbing/burning in nether regions seems to have eased for time being but stabbing/burning in calves of legs. Tinnitus. Occasional half to whole better days but mainly still struggling. Fatigue   

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  • Moderator Emeritus
2 minutes ago, Scorpio said:

We will keep fighting and one day we will all celebrate freedom. 

 

Exactly!

 

Now we know we are on the right path that is taking us out. Although it might take time we are not wandering any more... Going to treat myself to a nice warm bath with some nice salts and then I will fix myself some nice tea and then listen to some more calm and read from Embracing Uncertainty and generally be nice to myself :)

 

Current: 9/2022 Xanax 0.08, Lexapro 2

2020 Xanax 0.26 (down from 2 mg in 2013), Lexapro 2.85 mg (down from 5 mg 2013)

Amitriptyline (tricyclic AD) and clonazepam for 3 months to treat headache in 1996 
1999. - present Xanax prn up to 3 mg.
2000-2005 Prozac CT twice, 2005-2010 Zoloft CT 3 times, 2010-2013 Escitalopram 10 mg
went from 2.5 to zero on 7 Aug 2013, bad crash 40 days after
reinstated to 5 mg Escitalopram 4Oct 2013 and holding liquid Xanax every 5 hours
28 Jan 2014 Xanax 1.9, 18 Apr  2015 1 mg,  25 June 2015 Lex 4.8, 6 Aug Lexapro 4.6, 1 Jan 2016 0.64  Xanax     9 month hold

24 Sept 2016 4.5 Lex, 17 Oct 4.4 Lex (Nov 0.63 Xanax, Dec 0.625 Xanax), 1 Jan 2017 4.3 Lex, 24 Jan 4.2, 5 Feb 4.1, 24 Mar 4 mg, 10 Apr 3.9 mg, May 3.85, June 3.8, July 3.75, 22 July 3.7, 15 Aug 3.65, 17 Sept 3.6, 1 Jan 2018 3.55, 19 Jan 3.5, 16 Mar 3.4, 14 Apr 3.3, 23 May 3.2, 16 June 3.15, 15 Jul 3.1, 31 Jul 3, 21 Aug 2.9 26 Sept 2.85, 14 Nov Xan 0.61, 1 Dec 0.59, 19 Dec 0.58, 4 Jan 0.565, 6 Feb 0.55, 20 Feb 0.535, 1 Mar 0.505, 10 Mar 0.475, 14 Mar 0.45, 4 Apr 0.415, 13 Apr 0.37, 21 Apr 0.33, 29 Apr 0.29, 10 May 0.27, 17 May 0.25, 28 May 0.22, 19 June 0.22, 21 Jun updose to 0.24, 24 Jun updose to 0.26

Supplements: Omega 3 + Vit E, Vit C, D, magnesium, Taurine, probiotic 

I'm not a medical professional. Any advice I give is based on my own experience and reading. 

Link to comment
9 minutes ago, bubble said:

 

Exactly!

 

Now we know we are on the right path that is taking us out. Although it might take time we are not wandering any more... Going to treat myself to a nice warm bath with some nice salts and then I will fix myself some nice tea and then listen to some more calm and read from Embracing Uncertainty and generally be nice to myself :)

 

Hi bubble

enjoy your bath, tea, calm and reading you very definitely deserve a good restful sleep.  Don't overdo everything you are taking on and yes be very nice to yourself as you are so very nice to a lot of us. 

2006 After sudden death of mother put on 20mg of citaloprom for depression. 

2014 Drug stopped working after two weeks of panic attacks felt fine. 

Aug 2014. Doctor put me on lyrica for rash on face, diarrhoea, sleeplessness,muscle cramp, bruising. Initial dose too strong, halved dose.  Stopped taking it 22/10/14

2014 severe anxiety after several ssri's attempted, seem to have developed severe  sensitivity to any drug, but giving severe  reactions put on cipralex drop form.started on 2 drops and had to increase by 1 drop every 3 days. Eventually got to 12 drops and had to stop as side effects every step of the way dreadful. Psychiatrist kept telling me to stick with it and my body would get used to it.  Eventually down to 8 drops. Bad reactions throughout the time I was on it

Have been on this until may 2017. Stopped over two weeks. Felt fine for 5 weeks after initial dizziness, nightmares, nausea, insomnia.  

Given diazepam by gp and told to take them when anxiety bad. Have only taken them very rarely as they frighten me. 

Last two weeks severe anxiety returned and feeling hopeless 

11July 2017. Cipralex 2mg. Anxiety, nausea still severe

13 July 2017 Cipralex 1mg due to advice of too high dosage  by kind person on thus site. so dropped from 2mg to 1mg and feelings of anxiety still at severe. As well as nausea, headaches, fatigue. 

15 July still feeling extremely anxious verging on panic. Nausea, feelings of fainting, fatigue. Lots of head pains 

3 August. Three weeks into trying to stabilise on one drop of cipralex. Still have waking from 4am. Sporadic upset stomach. Nausea.  High anxiety.  Throbbing/burning in nether regions seems to have eased for time being but stabbing/burning in calves of legs. Tinnitus. Occasional half to whole better days but mainly still struggling. Fatigue   

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Hi bubble

have just reread your post to me from the other day. Still going through a rough time back to 3 and 4am mornings hopefully they will subside. I have downloaded the calm app you mentioned and trying to do mindfulness but brain is running away with anxiety so will keep practising. My only fear from all this trauma is that I dropped from 8mg and only went to 1mg  when restarted 5 weeks later that I have done lasting damage. I know 1mg is a good thing if I ever stabilise it should be easier to reduce down. Just plain scared again I think. 

2006 After sudden death of mother put on 20mg of citaloprom for depression. 

2014 Drug stopped working after two weeks of panic attacks felt fine. 

Aug 2014. Doctor put me on lyrica for rash on face, diarrhoea, sleeplessness,muscle cramp, bruising. Initial dose too strong, halved dose.  Stopped taking it 22/10/14

2014 severe anxiety after several ssri's attempted, seem to have developed severe  sensitivity to any drug, but giving severe  reactions put on cipralex drop form.started on 2 drops and had to increase by 1 drop every 3 days. Eventually got to 12 drops and had to stop as side effects every step of the way dreadful. Psychiatrist kept telling me to stick with it and my body would get used to it.  Eventually down to 8 drops. Bad reactions throughout the time I was on it

Have been on this until may 2017. Stopped over two weeks. Felt fine for 5 weeks after initial dizziness, nightmares, nausea, insomnia.  

Given diazepam by gp and told to take them when anxiety bad. Have only taken them very rarely as they frighten me. 

Last two weeks severe anxiety returned and feeling hopeless 

11July 2017. Cipralex 2mg. Anxiety, nausea still severe

13 July 2017 Cipralex 1mg due to advice of too high dosage  by kind person on thus site. so dropped from 2mg to 1mg and feelings of anxiety still at severe. As well as nausea, headaches, fatigue. 

15 July still feeling extremely anxious verging on panic. Nausea, feelings of fainting, fatigue. Lots of head pains 

3 August. Three weeks into trying to stabilise on one drop of cipralex. Still have waking from 4am. Sporadic upset stomach. Nausea.  High anxiety.  Throbbing/burning in nether regions seems to have eased for time being but stabbing/burning in calves of legs. Tinnitus. Occasional half to whole better days but mainly still struggling. Fatigue   

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On 19/09/2017 at 2:05 AM, Littlegrandma said:

Sorry you're suffering so. 

Ive been very emotional myself. It seems I cry more around my husband. He calls. I cry. Comes home from work. I cry. 

I didn't realize how far I have come in the last few weeks until I messed up last night and cut a tiny bit of my lunesta off. I guess I'm just desperate to get off of one of these drugs. But I paid the price today. Migraine is bad! Body aches. Nausea. I seem to learn everything the hard way. Too impatient and scared. I just want off these poisons. 

And of course I have the kids tomorrow. If I feel like I do today, there's no way I can do it. I just keep messing up. Back to square one. 

Hope you have a peaceful night....

lg

Hello lg

i hope you are doing ok. Have you been having the children and have you had any help?  I hope those horrible side effects have lessened for you. I know exactly how you feel, what would we do without our husbands who try to keep us going.  It is all so scary isn't it, too much of anything tips me back into an anxiety ridden blob. Hope you are ok, thinking of you. 

2006 After sudden death of mother put on 20mg of citaloprom for depression. 

2014 Drug stopped working after two weeks of panic attacks felt fine. 

Aug 2014. Doctor put me on lyrica for rash on face, diarrhoea, sleeplessness,muscle cramp, bruising. Initial dose too strong, halved dose.  Stopped taking it 22/10/14

2014 severe anxiety after several ssri's attempted, seem to have developed severe  sensitivity to any drug, but giving severe  reactions put on cipralex drop form.started on 2 drops and had to increase by 1 drop every 3 days. Eventually got to 12 drops and had to stop as side effects every step of the way dreadful. Psychiatrist kept telling me to stick with it and my body would get used to it.  Eventually down to 8 drops. Bad reactions throughout the time I was on it

Have been on this until may 2017. Stopped over two weeks. Felt fine for 5 weeks after initial dizziness, nightmares, nausea, insomnia.  

Given diazepam by gp and told to take them when anxiety bad. Have only taken them very rarely as they frighten me. 

Last two weeks severe anxiety returned and feeling hopeless 

11July 2017. Cipralex 2mg. Anxiety, nausea still severe

13 July 2017 Cipralex 1mg due to advice of too high dosage  by kind person on thus site. so dropped from 2mg to 1mg and feelings of anxiety still at severe. As well as nausea, headaches, fatigue. 

15 July still feeling extremely anxious verging on panic. Nausea, feelings of fainting, fatigue. Lots of head pains 

3 August. Three weeks into trying to stabilise on one drop of cipralex. Still have waking from 4am. Sporadic upset stomach. Nausea.  High anxiety.  Throbbing/burning in nether regions seems to have eased for time being but stabbing/burning in calves of legs. Tinnitus. Occasional half to whole better days but mainly still struggling. Fatigue   

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Good morning Scorpio

i am being a bum today. I have a head and chest cold so feeling lousy.

i did have the kids the last 2 days but my husband took the afternoons off work to help me. He has used all 6 weeks of his vacation taking care of me or the children. I feel guilty about that. 

 The motorcycle sits covered in the garage. We had wonderful trips planned. I think, maybe, we had 2 short rides. As a Cubs fan would say

"maybe next year". Ha

I am also waking at 4, sometimes5, so the days are long. I used to love mornings, now I dread them. 

 How long has it been since you updosed? I hope you get relief soon. Each day seems to be a little better for me. But better is just milder headache, or anxiety. So sad that's the things I celebrate these days.  Hope you find your "better" today.   Lg

Lex  4.3mg,  3/2/18  Ativan ,5 mg,  lunesta 2 mg , toprol  25 mg                                                            

 

Oct 16-28 2018 C/O to 19 mg V from 1.5 mg Ativan, 1.3 mg lunesta 

jan 22 2019- 11 mg V

jan 23 - pneumonia, 2 AB’s. 

    Hold taper

july 5- 10.72 V

July 6- 11 mg V- ugly bad

july 11- 10.72 mg V, 4.3 lex, 

              25 mg toprol

 

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Hi lg

so sorry to hear you have a nasty cold, no doubt caught from one of your beautiful grandchildren. Our little one although only 10 months seems to be constantly catching colds and happily passes them onto us. My husband has only just recovered from the infections caused by the last one and now the little one has gone down with another.  You amaze me being able to continue looking after the children even with your husbands help it is so demanding. I had my little one yesterday and it completely drained me today I am struggling badly. Anxiety back with a vengeance and nausea, fatigue so have done very little today. I updosed 1mg 10 weeks ago and still trying to stabilise, it seems to be forever but bubble said it took her three to four months to stabilise so trusting it will work.

like you, our dreams are shelved for the time being hopefully we will be able to look forward to them again in the not too distant future. 

Hope your cold gives you some relief today. 

2006 After sudden death of mother put on 20mg of citaloprom for depression. 

2014 Drug stopped working after two weeks of panic attacks felt fine. 

Aug 2014. Doctor put me on lyrica for rash on face, diarrhoea, sleeplessness,muscle cramp, bruising. Initial dose too strong, halved dose.  Stopped taking it 22/10/14

2014 severe anxiety after several ssri's attempted, seem to have developed severe  sensitivity to any drug, but giving severe  reactions put on cipralex drop form.started on 2 drops and had to increase by 1 drop every 3 days. Eventually got to 12 drops and had to stop as side effects every step of the way dreadful. Psychiatrist kept telling me to stick with it and my body would get used to it.  Eventually down to 8 drops. Bad reactions throughout the time I was on it

Have been on this until may 2017. Stopped over two weeks. Felt fine for 5 weeks after initial dizziness, nightmares, nausea, insomnia.  

Given diazepam by gp and told to take them when anxiety bad. Have only taken them very rarely as they frighten me. 

Last two weeks severe anxiety returned and feeling hopeless 

11July 2017. Cipralex 2mg. Anxiety, nausea still severe

13 July 2017 Cipralex 1mg due to advice of too high dosage  by kind person on thus site. so dropped from 2mg to 1mg and feelings of anxiety still at severe. As well as nausea, headaches, fatigue. 

15 July still feeling extremely anxious verging on panic. Nausea, feelings of fainting, fatigue. Lots of head pains 

3 August. Three weeks into trying to stabilise on one drop of cipralex. Still have waking from 4am. Sporadic upset stomach. Nausea.  High anxiety.  Throbbing/burning in nether regions seems to have eased for time being but stabbing/burning in calves of legs. Tinnitus. Occasional half to whole better days but mainly still struggling. Fatigue   

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On 2017-09-15 at 7:58 AM, Scorpio said:

Hi aliG

thank you for your response. It seems at the moment the anxiety is just overwhelming me that's without nausea etc playing havoc. 

I seem unable to take anything to help. I tried magnesium a few weeks ago and had brilliant relief for 2 days and then seemed to kick me. Vitamin c was the same. The magnesium I tried was calm powder and only half a teaspoon in water  don't know if it's worth trying again. I seem to be so sensitive to everything. 

Hi Scorpio, I hope you are feeling better, hang in there.  I so get how you're feeling, you're not alone~

 

 

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9 hours ago, Quest said:

Hi Scorpio, I hope you are feeling better, hang in there.  I so get how you're feeling, you're not alone~

Hello quest

thank you for your kind words and isn't it horrible.  It is so scary not having any control over what our bodies and minds are doing to us. 

2006 After sudden death of mother put on 20mg of citaloprom for depression. 

2014 Drug stopped working after two weeks of panic attacks felt fine. 

Aug 2014. Doctor put me on lyrica for rash on face, diarrhoea, sleeplessness,muscle cramp, bruising. Initial dose too strong, halved dose.  Stopped taking it 22/10/14

2014 severe anxiety after several ssri's attempted, seem to have developed severe  sensitivity to any drug, but giving severe  reactions put on cipralex drop form.started on 2 drops and had to increase by 1 drop every 3 days. Eventually got to 12 drops and had to stop as side effects every step of the way dreadful. Psychiatrist kept telling me to stick with it and my body would get used to it.  Eventually down to 8 drops. Bad reactions throughout the time I was on it

Have been on this until may 2017. Stopped over two weeks. Felt fine for 5 weeks after initial dizziness, nightmares, nausea, insomnia.  

Given diazepam by gp and told to take them when anxiety bad. Have only taken them very rarely as they frighten me. 

Last two weeks severe anxiety returned and feeling hopeless 

11July 2017. Cipralex 2mg. Anxiety, nausea still severe

13 July 2017 Cipralex 1mg due to advice of too high dosage  by kind person on thus site. so dropped from 2mg to 1mg and feelings of anxiety still at severe. As well as nausea, headaches, fatigue. 

15 July still feeling extremely anxious verging on panic. Nausea, feelings of fainting, fatigue. Lots of head pains 

3 August. Three weeks into trying to stabilise on one drop of cipralex. Still have waking from 4am. Sporadic upset stomach. Nausea.  High anxiety.  Throbbing/burning in nether regions seems to have eased for time being but stabbing/burning in calves of legs. Tinnitus. Occasional half to whole better days but mainly still struggling. Fatigue   

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  • Moderator Emeritus

This is just the nature of the beast. But every day is bringing us closer to relief.

Current: 9/2022 Xanax 0.08, Lexapro 2

2020 Xanax 0.26 (down from 2 mg in 2013), Lexapro 2.85 mg (down from 5 mg 2013)

Amitriptyline (tricyclic AD) and clonazepam for 3 months to treat headache in 1996 
1999. - present Xanax prn up to 3 mg.
2000-2005 Prozac CT twice, 2005-2010 Zoloft CT 3 times, 2010-2013 Escitalopram 10 mg
went from 2.5 to zero on 7 Aug 2013, bad crash 40 days after
reinstated to 5 mg Escitalopram 4Oct 2013 and holding liquid Xanax every 5 hours
28 Jan 2014 Xanax 1.9, 18 Apr  2015 1 mg,  25 June 2015 Lex 4.8, 6 Aug Lexapro 4.6, 1 Jan 2016 0.64  Xanax     9 month hold

24 Sept 2016 4.5 Lex, 17 Oct 4.4 Lex (Nov 0.63 Xanax, Dec 0.625 Xanax), 1 Jan 2017 4.3 Lex, 24 Jan 4.2, 5 Feb 4.1, 24 Mar 4 mg, 10 Apr 3.9 mg, May 3.85, June 3.8, July 3.75, 22 July 3.7, 15 Aug 3.65, 17 Sept 3.6, 1 Jan 2018 3.55, 19 Jan 3.5, 16 Mar 3.4, 14 Apr 3.3, 23 May 3.2, 16 June 3.15, 15 Jul 3.1, 31 Jul 3, 21 Aug 2.9 26 Sept 2.85, 14 Nov Xan 0.61, 1 Dec 0.59, 19 Dec 0.58, 4 Jan 0.565, 6 Feb 0.55, 20 Feb 0.535, 1 Mar 0.505, 10 Mar 0.475, 14 Mar 0.45, 4 Apr 0.415, 13 Apr 0.37, 21 Apr 0.33, 29 Apr 0.29, 10 May 0.27, 17 May 0.25, 28 May 0.22, 19 June 0.22, 21 Jun updose to 0.24, 24 Jun updose to 0.26

Supplements: Omega 3 + Vit E, Vit C, D, magnesium, Taurine, probiotic 

I'm not a medical professional. Any advice I give is based on my own experience and reading. 

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2 hours ago, bubble said:

This is just the nature of the beast. But every day is bringing us closer to relief.

 

2 hours ago, bubble said:

This is just the nature of the beast. But every day is bringing us closer to relief.

Hello bubble

you are in demand today, lg and I are both in hell from the looks of it. My night was awful, couldn't get to sleep took melatonin and awake at 5 with every symptom I have had throughout this ordeal back and turning me to a complete wreck. Cancelled seeing daughter just in a blob on my bed cannot distract myself at all  

is it just a bad day or is this 1mg too much, too little or just never going to get better

sorry bubble just so scared - again 

2006 After sudden death of mother put on 20mg of citaloprom for depression. 

2014 Drug stopped working after two weeks of panic attacks felt fine. 

Aug 2014. Doctor put me on lyrica for rash on face, diarrhoea, sleeplessness,muscle cramp, bruising. Initial dose too strong, halved dose.  Stopped taking it 22/10/14

2014 severe anxiety after several ssri's attempted, seem to have developed severe  sensitivity to any drug, but giving severe  reactions put on cipralex drop form.started on 2 drops and had to increase by 1 drop every 3 days. Eventually got to 12 drops and had to stop as side effects every step of the way dreadful. Psychiatrist kept telling me to stick with it and my body would get used to it.  Eventually down to 8 drops. Bad reactions throughout the time I was on it

Have been on this until may 2017. Stopped over two weeks. Felt fine for 5 weeks after initial dizziness, nightmares, nausea, insomnia.  

Given diazepam by gp and told to take them when anxiety bad. Have only taken them very rarely as they frighten me. 

Last two weeks severe anxiety returned and feeling hopeless 

11July 2017. Cipralex 2mg. Anxiety, nausea still severe

13 July 2017 Cipralex 1mg due to advice of too high dosage  by kind person on thus site. so dropped from 2mg to 1mg and feelings of anxiety still at severe. As well as nausea, headaches, fatigue. 

15 July still feeling extremely anxious verging on panic. Nausea, feelings of fainting, fatigue. Lots of head pains 

3 August. Three weeks into trying to stabilise on one drop of cipralex. Still have waking from 4am. Sporadic upset stomach. Nausea.  High anxiety.  Throbbing/burning in nether regions seems to have eased for time being but stabbing/burning in calves of legs. Tinnitus. Occasional half to whole better days but mainly still struggling. Fatigue   

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6 hours ago, Scorpio said:

Hello quest

thank you for your kind words and isn't it horrible.  It is so scary not having any control over what our bodies and minds are doing to us. 

It truly is~. Have you found any relief from the anxiety yet?  Mine gets worse every time I take my immovane but I can't just quit it!  

 

 

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3 hours ago, Quest said:

It truly is~. Have you found any relief from the anxiety yet?  Mine gets worse every time I take my immovane but I can't just quit it!  

No today has been a nightmare of a day with virtually every symptom back. The anxiety is overwhelming which is how it is nearly every day. I know how you feel about the drugs it's hell isnt it being between a rock and a hard place. 

I will read your thread when I can concentrate and will reply to your message properly. 

Hope your day gets better. 

2006 After sudden death of mother put on 20mg of citaloprom for depression. 

2014 Drug stopped working after two weeks of panic attacks felt fine. 

Aug 2014. Doctor put me on lyrica for rash on face, diarrhoea, sleeplessness,muscle cramp, bruising. Initial dose too strong, halved dose.  Stopped taking it 22/10/14

2014 severe anxiety after several ssri's attempted, seem to have developed severe  sensitivity to any drug, but giving severe  reactions put on cipralex drop form.started on 2 drops and had to increase by 1 drop every 3 days. Eventually got to 12 drops and had to stop as side effects every step of the way dreadful. Psychiatrist kept telling me to stick with it and my body would get used to it.  Eventually down to 8 drops. Bad reactions throughout the time I was on it

Have been on this until may 2017. Stopped over two weeks. Felt fine for 5 weeks after initial dizziness, nightmares, nausea, insomnia.  

Given diazepam by gp and told to take them when anxiety bad. Have only taken them very rarely as they frighten me. 

Last two weeks severe anxiety returned and feeling hopeless 

11July 2017. Cipralex 2mg. Anxiety, nausea still severe

13 July 2017 Cipralex 1mg due to advice of too high dosage  by kind person on thus site. so dropped from 2mg to 1mg and feelings of anxiety still at severe. As well as nausea, headaches, fatigue. 

15 July still feeling extremely anxious verging on panic. Nausea, feelings of fainting, fatigue. Lots of head pains 

3 August. Three weeks into trying to stabilise on one drop of cipralex. Still have waking from 4am. Sporadic upset stomach. Nausea.  High anxiety.  Throbbing/burning in nether regions seems to have eased for time being but stabbing/burning in calves of legs. Tinnitus. Occasional half to whole better days but mainly still struggling. Fatigue   

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Having bad anxiety attacks in the mornings.. I also curse the day I started taking the cocktail of AD’s I blindly took on faith it would make me feel better! Now I m beginning third month in withdrawal from all meds m having all sorts of symptoms 

 

Zoloft . On 10-15 years started 100 mg last dose 200mg tapered to zero in one month.. psych dr advise Last dose:  50mg Zoloft in February 2017

5mg  Olanzipine - 1 -2 yrs last dose 5 mg in Jan 2017 told to stop within a weEk

 

NOTE:  had very bad withdrawal symptoms with discontinuation of Zoloft and Olanzipine.. very very seriously suicidal... 

 

450mg Effexor XR - started at 75mg a couple of years ago, increasing every few months until I got to 450mg

beginning in February to July 22 - 450, 300, 150, 75, 37.5 , 16.5 mg

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1 hour ago, Offforgood said:

Having bad anxiety attacks in the mornings.. I also curse the day I started taking the cocktail of AD’s I blindly took on faith it would make me feel better! Now I m beginning third month in withdrawal from all meds m having all sorts of symptoms 

Hi offfergood 

'I'm so sorry you are suffering so badly as well. So many of us do but we have to believe we will get better even though on horrible days like today it's hard to remember. 

'It is so scary and unlike anything most people go through. Let's hope tomorrow will be a better day for us. 

2006 After sudden death of mother put on 20mg of citaloprom for depression. 

2014 Drug stopped working after two weeks of panic attacks felt fine. 

Aug 2014. Doctor put me on lyrica for rash on face, diarrhoea, sleeplessness,muscle cramp, bruising. Initial dose too strong, halved dose.  Stopped taking it 22/10/14

2014 severe anxiety after several ssri's attempted, seem to have developed severe  sensitivity to any drug, but giving severe  reactions put on cipralex drop form.started on 2 drops and had to increase by 1 drop every 3 days. Eventually got to 12 drops and had to stop as side effects every step of the way dreadful. Psychiatrist kept telling me to stick with it and my body would get used to it.  Eventually down to 8 drops. Bad reactions throughout the time I was on it

Have been on this until may 2017. Stopped over two weeks. Felt fine for 5 weeks after initial dizziness, nightmares, nausea, insomnia.  

Given diazepam by gp and told to take them when anxiety bad. Have only taken them very rarely as they frighten me. 

Last two weeks severe anxiety returned and feeling hopeless 

11July 2017. Cipralex 2mg. Anxiety, nausea still severe

13 July 2017 Cipralex 1mg due to advice of too high dosage  by kind person on thus site. so dropped from 2mg to 1mg and feelings of anxiety still at severe. As well as nausea, headaches, fatigue. 

15 July still feeling extremely anxious verging on panic. Nausea, feelings of fainting, fatigue. Lots of head pains 

3 August. Three weeks into trying to stabilise on one drop of cipralex. Still have waking from 4am. Sporadic upset stomach. Nausea.  High anxiety.  Throbbing/burning in nether regions seems to have eased for time being but stabbing/burning in calves of legs. Tinnitus. Occasional half to whole better days but mainly still struggling. Fatigue   

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2 hours ago, Offforgood said:

Having bad anxiety attacks in the mornings.. I also curse the day I started taking the cocktail of AD’s I blindly took on faith it would make me feel better! Now I m beginning third month in withdrawal from all meds m having all sorts of symptoms 

 

Lex  4.3mg,  3/2/18  Ativan ,5 mg,  lunesta 2 mg , toprol  25 mg                                                            

 

Oct 16-28 2018 C/O to 19 mg V from 1.5 mg Ativan, 1.3 mg lunesta 

jan 22 2019- 11 mg V

jan 23 - pneumonia, 2 AB’s. 

    Hold taper

july 5- 10.72 V

July 6- 11 mg V- ugly bad

july 11- 10.72 mg V, 4.3 lex, 

              25 mg toprol

 

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I'm sorry offorgood. I also regret ever taking these drugs. The anxiety is the worst!!  Many days I doubt that I will ever feel good again. I can barely remember what feeling good feels like. 

  But we have to keep the faith. I am assured by this forum that we will recover. It may take longer than we'd like but it will happen. 

 Think positive......lg

Lex  4.3mg,  3/2/18  Ativan ,5 mg,  lunesta 2 mg , toprol  25 mg                                                            

 

Oct 16-28 2018 C/O to 19 mg V from 1.5 mg Ativan, 1.3 mg lunesta 

jan 22 2019- 11 mg V

jan 23 - pneumonia, 2 AB’s. 

    Hold taper

july 5- 10.72 V

July 6- 11 mg V- ugly bad

july 11- 10.72 mg V, 4.3 lex, 

              25 mg toprol

 

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On 2017-09-23 at 10:38 AM, Scorpio said:

No today has been a nightmare of a day with virtually every symptom back. The anxiety is overwhelming which is how it is nearly every day. I know how you feel about the drugs it's hell isnt it being between a rock and a hard place. 

I will read your thread when I can concentrate and will reply to your message properly. 

Hope your day gets better. 

Thank you for your message, I am sorry your back is so bad.  I wish healing for us all.  I am outside right now playing the distraction game, was so close to going to hospital this morning, but I do not think that place can help me.  Just gets so desperate the feelings are overwhelming.  I am putting up symptoms this evening and hoping the moderators can advise me if they see a pattern.  Funny, it is my body and I can't tell if the effexor is working or not.  The Zoplicone is complicating too because I know this is making me have even more suicidal thoughts.  Are you able to sleep a little at night for a break  at least?  I so hope your day gets a bit better.  It is nice to have support, I appreciate you too Scorpio~

 

 

 

 

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31 minutes ago, Quest said:

Thank you for your message, I am sorry your back is so bad.  I wish healing for us all.  I am outside right now playing the distraction game, was so close to going to hospital this morning, but I do not think that place can help me.  Just gets so desperate the feelings are overwhelming.  I am putting up symptoms this evening and hoping the moderators can advise me if they see a pattern.  Funny, it is my body and I can't tell if the effexor is working or not.  The Zoplicone is complicating too because I know this is making me have even more suicidal thoughts.  Are you able to sleep a little at night for a break  at least?  I so hope your day gets a bit better.  It is nice to have support, I appreciate you too Scorpio~

 

 

Hi quest

i know it is overwhelming and very scary but hospitals and doctors only seem to have one tool box and that's more drugs and as we know to our cost it just makes everything worse. I hope the moderators can give you the advice you need and will give you some reassurance.  Suicidal thoughts are horrible, I know have had them too, not so strongly now but they still visit when I am at my most fearful.  I'm sure the Effexor is working but like me and many of us reinstating it takes a long time to balance and even then we get windows and waves but at least we should get more windows. I don't know about zoplicone and not sure how it will affect you. I have taken 1.5mg of melatonin at night for a couple of nights again and yes I wake about 4 but drift off again. Anxiety is there but it helps me sleep a little longer. Have you tried it?  It is now 7.30pm and I am in my dressing gown on settee which is where I have been most of the day moaning and groaning I did manage to force a small amount of salad in me tonight so have at least eaten something. To be able to put some weight on would be so nice. Amazing isn't it what becomes important when we are in this state - eating something, no anxiety, able to sleep - nothing major just little things but to us huge turning points. 

I hope a moderator answers you soon and gives you some confidence to keep going. 

2006 After sudden death of mother put on 20mg of citaloprom for depression. 

2014 Drug stopped working after two weeks of panic attacks felt fine. 

Aug 2014. Doctor put me on lyrica for rash on face, diarrhoea, sleeplessness,muscle cramp, bruising. Initial dose too strong, halved dose.  Stopped taking it 22/10/14

2014 severe anxiety after several ssri's attempted, seem to have developed severe  sensitivity to any drug, but giving severe  reactions put on cipralex drop form.started on 2 drops and had to increase by 1 drop every 3 days. Eventually got to 12 drops and had to stop as side effects every step of the way dreadful. Psychiatrist kept telling me to stick with it and my body would get used to it.  Eventually down to 8 drops. Bad reactions throughout the time I was on it

Have been on this until may 2017. Stopped over two weeks. Felt fine for 5 weeks after initial dizziness, nightmares, nausea, insomnia.  

Given diazepam by gp and told to take them when anxiety bad. Have only taken them very rarely as they frighten me. 

Last two weeks severe anxiety returned and feeling hopeless 

11July 2017. Cipralex 2mg. Anxiety, nausea still severe

13 July 2017 Cipralex 1mg due to advice of too high dosage  by kind person on thus site. so dropped from 2mg to 1mg and feelings of anxiety still at severe. As well as nausea, headaches, fatigue. 

15 July still feeling extremely anxious verging on panic. Nausea, feelings of fainting, fatigue. Lots of head pains 

3 August. Three weeks into trying to stabilise on one drop of cipralex. Still have waking from 4am. Sporadic upset stomach. Nausea.  High anxiety.  Throbbing/burning in nether regions seems to have eased for time being but stabbing/burning in calves of legs. Tinnitus. Occasional half to whole better days but mainly still struggling. Fatigue   

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38 minutes ago, Scorpio said:

Hi quest

i know it is overwhelming and very scary but hospitals and doctors only seem to have one tool box and that's more drugs and as we know to our cost it just makes everything worse. I hope the moderators can give you the advice you need and will give you some reassurance.  Suicidal thoughts are horrible, I know have had them too, not so strongly now but they still visit when I am at my most fearful.  I'm sure the Effexor is working but like me and many of us reinstating it takes a long time to balance and even then we get windows and waves but at least we should get more windows. I don't know about zoplicone and not sure how it will affect you. I have taken 1.5mg of melatonin at night for a couple of nights again and yes I wake about 4 but drift off again. Anxiety is there but it helps me sleep a little longer. Have you tried it?  It is now 7.30pm and I am in my dressing gown on settee which is where I have been most of the day moaning and groaning I did manage to force a small amount of salad in me tonight so have at least eaten something. To be able to put some weight on would be so nice. Amazing isn't it what becomes important when we are in this state - eating something, no anxiety, able to sleep - nothing major just little things but to us huge turning points. 

I hope a moderator answers you soon and gives you some confidence to keep going. 

Thank you~

 

 

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