potions: off Zoloft since August 2016

[potions]

I also have horrible rages right now and irritability. This situation is absolutely unnaceptbale. I can’t wait 3, 4, 6, 8, 12  f*$king years for this to go away. This is my ability to feel love, ability to laugh, ability to find beauty in a sunset in the sky, capacity to be moved by music, cognition, sexuality, my EMOTIONS. No. I refuse to accept this. No way

[potions]

Here is a timeline of my windows and waves (from when I can remember/keeping track.) Windows are  improvements in emotional or other wd symptoms, not necessarily sexual. Waves usually mean severe anxiety or akathisia, anhedonia to the max, insomnia etc.

 

Off Zoloft on August 28th 2016. Don’t remember the pattern of wd until really December 2016.

 

Decemebr 2016. First half a window. Second half the worst hell I’d ever been in.

January 2017. From what I remember this entire month was a wave. Anhedonia and severe anxiety/akathisia

Februay 2017. I recall a window for about a week and a half in this month, and then a a wave for the rest of the month.

March 2017. The wave continues until I think the 19th or so. Then a window begins

April 2017. Window for two weeks with improved anhedonia. Then it levels off to I think neither a window nor a wave at the end of the month.

May 2017. Apathetic and anhedonic wave for the entirety of this month. Including akathisia.

June 2017. Started off in the wave until maybe the 10th when a window began that lasted for a week and a half. Then a horrible wave hits.

July 2017. Extreme akathisia and severe depression, anxiety, anhedonia, extreme insomnia, severe suicidality etc. Hell on earth for the entire month.

August 2017. Begins in a nice window. Lasts for 10 days. Then a horrible wave hits again on the 16th (I started calendaring it)

September 2017. September 6th-window begins. Improvements in anhedonia, energy, and pssd. Lasts until the 20th or so. Then I transition back into a wave.

October 2017. Wave for the entire month. Severe pssd and bad depression.

November 2017. Window.

December 2017. Window. With improvements in pssd some days.

January 2018. First two weeks-Wave and pssd. Anhedonia. On the 15th-24th or so, window and improvements in PSSD. Then a wave hits again with severe pssd and anhedonia.

February 2018. Severe pssd and anhedonia continue for the entire month.

March 2018. Begins with a window of improved anhedonia. This month was neither a wave nor a window I feel as I didn’t feel particularly good or bad in it. Pssd was not as bad as usual but it wasn’t as good as during windows. Same as every other symptom. Late March—a couple of days or extremely imrpoved emotionality and anhedonia.

April 2018. First half neither window nor wave. Second half (now) bad anhedonic wave but with primarily anhedonic and PSSD symptoms.

 

 

[Rosetta]

On April 16, 2018 at 10:22 PM, potions said:

I also have horrible rages right now and irritability. This situation is absolutely unnaceptbale. I can’t wait 3, 4, 6, 8, 12  f*$king years for this to go away. This is my ability to feel love, ability to laugh, ability to find beauty in a sunset in the sky, capacity to be moved by music, cognition, sexuality, my EMOTIONS. No. I refuse to accept this. No way

 

Potions,

 

WD isn't constantly the same all the way through for years.  You are not going to feel this^^^way for years.  Months 8 and 9 were my worst.  You might be going through a very bad phase right now, but it will let up.  You have to remember that when you feel very bad it is easy to believe you will feel that way for the entire time of WD.  You won't.  You will have Windows and waves and you will keep moving back and forth between them, but each window will be a little better and each wave a little less difficult.  You probably won't be able to see the difference at the the time as it is so slight, but over several months you can see that you are improving. 

 

Have you thought about tracking your menstruated cycle?  I think mine affects WD quite a bit.  I also think Springtime is harder for some people in WD.

[potions]

1 hour ago, Rosetta said:

 

Potions,

 

WD isn't constantly the same all the way through for years.  You are not going to feel this^^^way for years.  Months 8 and 9 were my worst.  You might be going through a very bad phase right now, but it will let up.  You have to remember that when you feel very bad it is easy to believe you will feel that way for the entire time of WD.  You won't.  You will have Windows and waves and you will keep moving back and forth between them, but each window will be a little better and each wave a little less difficult.  You probably won't be able to see the difference at the the time as it is so slight, but over several months you can see that you are improving. 

 

Have you thought about tracking your menstruated cycle?  I think mine affects WD quite a bit.  I also think Springtime is harder for some people in WD.

Yeah you are right. Even thinking back now, I realize I don’t have the rages that I had earlier this week. Right now my primary symptom is anhedonia and no motivation. Even during waves these symptoms change. I just wonder if this all is even really worth it.

 

And yes I do track my menstrual cycle. It doesn’t seem to have an effect on my wd symptoms though

[Rosetta]

What do you mean "even worth it?"  That idea makes me feel you think you have a choice at this point?  When I came to the realization that this is what is happening to me, and I can't change it by taking a pill, that if I tried to take another drug it would make WD worse, I felt a freedom to allow this process to unfold.  I felt more hope, not less because there is a solution -- abstinence.  I definitely get discouraged at how long this might take.  I wish so badly that there was a quicker solution.  It seems that some people think this is a choice -- to avoid more ADs or benzos.  It's simply not.  Benzos are going to become very hard to get eventually.  While they might help WD and make sense for those all ready addicted for those who are not addicted taking them now will only make WD worse later.  ADs are not going to help this far out and they will cause side effects that make WD worse even if they don't cause severe destabilization of the CNS.  Anxiety is one of those side effects.  So, you have it rough either way, but abstinence gives you a way out.  Taking more drugs does not. Sorry to be so blunt, but maybe reading -- hearing -- this will help you give in to the process? 

Peace, Rosetta

[potions]

 

On 4/19/2018 at 10:17 AM, Rosetta said:

What do you mean "even worth it?"  That idea makes me feel you think you have a choice at this point?  When I came to the realization that this is what is happening to me, and I can't change it by taking a pill, that if I tried to take another drug it would make WD worse, I felt a freedom to allow this process to unfold.  I felt more hope, not less because there is a solution -- abstinence.  I definitely get discouraged at how long this might take.  I wish so badly that there was a quicker solution.  It seems that some people think this is a choice -- to avoid more ADs or benzos.  It's simply not.  Benzos are going to become very hard to get eventually.  While they might help WD and make sense for those all ready addicted for those who are not addicted taking them now will only make WD worse later.  ADs are not going to help this far out and they will cause side effects that make WD worse even if they don't cause severe destabilization of the CNS.  Anxiety is one of those side effects.  So, you have it rough either way, but abstinence gives you a way out.  Taking more drugs does not. Sorry to be so blunt, but maybe reading -- hearing -- this will help you give in to the process? 

Peace, Rosetta

I won’t take any drugs Rosetta. Thanks for looking out for me. I can see that that’s not the right thing to do

[Rosetta]

Well, I'm sorry you are in this position, Potions.  There are to me, unacceptable risks to reinstating at this point.  Not everyone would agree.  Some people are suffering so greatly that they try it.  It breaks my heart to see a bad reaction cause even more suffering.  Sometimes, reinstatement relieves a lot of suffering.  However, it seems that after several months the risk is considered too great by those who have been running this website all these years.  That's why I didn't reinstate.  I

 

Right now, I have the same symptoms as you do: apathy, anhedonia, and depression, but they are improving.  I don't want you to think I've had 14 months of this.  It started in December or January.  Prior to January those symptoms were the least of my worries.  I didn't even register them if they were there.  I had much bigger problems.  I am hoping that you are looking at a quicker recovery than I have had because you are struggling with apathy, anhedonia and depression at this point.  I don't know if it works that way, but it seems logical.  

 

However, I am well aware of how distressing your symptoms are right now.  It's very hard for me to be grateful that the worst is over.  For me, morning and early afternoon are difficult.  I try to find some thing -- anything -- that will distract me at those times.  Late afternoons and evenings are better, but I'm so tired I can't do much.  This is all temporary if I don't re-injure my system.  So, I look for those little moments when I feel some joy or happiness.  I enjoyed the talent show last night although I was dreading it so much!!  It was not that painful or disturbing.  The energy in the room was good with all the parents there.  It was nothing like rehearsal.  I am improving!!

[potions]

I am in total agreement with you Rosetta. I will not reinstate or take any other drugs to try to help the wd symptoms. When I said "is it even worth it", I was more just complaining. In this moment I do believe that it's worth it to be patient and wait for this process to unfold. 

 

I am feeling calmer, less anhedonic, and less agitated at the moment than I have felt earlier this week. I have noticed that during transitions from windows--> waves, I always notice a headache which quickly proceeds into anxiety/agitation/dysphoria combined with anhedonia. At the end of the wave, the anhedonia seems to worsen and the anxiety seems to lessen. Then, right before a window, I notice a sense of calm and relaxation followed by improvements in emotionality. Using this pattern, I seem to be able to track when windows and waves are coming on. Right now I feel I am in a slight window. That wave lasted only a week, while my previous February wave lasted over a month..I'm hoping this a good sign.

 

[Rosetta]

Good.  That does sound like a good sign!  I have been through times when anxiety was replaced by anhedonia.  It is tough to decide which is worse.  If I hadn't experienced anhedonia, I'm sure I would have said anxiety is worse.  Anhedonia seems to cause me anxiety.  

 

I'm happy you are having a window.  I'm having a dirty window today.  Now RLS is here.  

[potions]

I hope your RLS goes away soon Rosetta. And thanks again for the encouragement and support.

 

Strangely, I’ve been having many, many brain zaps. I don’t remember having brain zaps like these even in the first few weeks after coming off Zoloft. I’ve also been feeling very light headed, dizzy, and almost sedated with calmness. I feel tired and headachy, but it is a comfortable kind of tired. It feels relaxing. The brain zaps and dizziness are odd though. I’m very off balance and the world seems to be spinning. It almost feels like I’m drunk.

 

Anhedonia is improved today. I am still in a window. Also pssd symptoms are improved but i am still not close to pre-SSRI at all.

 

thanks for reading

[potions]

PSSD symptoms are coming and going in waves and windows. Last week I was incredibly numb for about 7 days. For the past 5 or so days, my genital sensitivity has gone up to about 5-7/10 and my mood is much better. Music sounds alright, I'm calm, I even had a fleeting feeling of lust for someone earlier this week... (sorry if tmi.) I won't go into go into further details, but other symptoms of PSSD are still very bad. Genital numbness is the only symptom that is currently improved and so is anhedonia.

 

cheers. I'll keep updating.

[potions]

I’m having pretty extreme anxiety right now. I’m restless. It almost feels like I’m crawling out of my skin again. I’m very very scared that I won’t ever recover my feelings. I keep reading and reading and reading about PSSD and there are just so many people who have had the condition for years and years and years. I am in total despair. I feel like I’m losing my mind. I can’t sleep without melatonin, and I’m having powerful feelings of anxiety, jealousy, and frustration but hardly any positive feelings.

 

Thinking back to where I was this June-October, I can say that I have come a long way. I didn’t know it was possible for a human to feel that bad. I didn’t even have enough energy for suicide, but I was filled with extreme dread and anxiety about everything (including suicide) so I was literally trapped. I couldn’t believe how much those drugs damaged me and really had never been in more emotional pain in my life. I don’t know how I even made it through that. I haven’t felt that bad since, and I need to keep reminding myself that. Maybe that’s all over now. Maybe I won’t ever feel that way again.

 

I want my life back though. I want to obsess about normal things now. I’ve always been pretty obsessive. I want to feel obsessive about a relationship again, or an achievement. I’m tired of PSSD and I’m tired of withdrawal, and insomnia, and akathisia, and anhedonia, and brain fog and severe wd anxiety and feeling like my entire body is exploding from under my skin because I literally can’t take the horrible sensations anymore. I want to listen to music and have it give me goosebumps. I want my heart to skip a beat when a boy looks at me. I want to fantasize about love and romance and being successful rather than having my brain repair the damage that those drugs did to it. I’m so tired of this. I want to recover. I’m anxious and tired and ready for this all to be over. It’s time for my brain to go back to normal. It’s been long enough.

[bhasski]

@potions

I feel sorry for what you are going through.

Those feeling of jealousy, hatred, anger etc.  - i am also goig through them and 

almost daily in the very moment I behave according to them. Also I know them that this is not me. Knowing this is a positive sign.

 

With my exp.  till now , things in wdl  go by their pace, no matter how much I try with supplements.. walk .. going out..  trying sitting on fathers business.. anything- nothing seems miraculous. 

 

Many symptoms got better , I can only say with Time. Its the only prominent factor.

So, you keep trying - it gives and mantain hope and also passed Time.

 

My wishes you find relief.

 

 

 

[potions]

Thank you so much bhasski. Thank you so much to everyone here who understands this. I hope you find healing soon.

 

Lately I’m feeling very jealous. My friend suddenly snapped out of PSSD one month ago and we were both obsessed about it together. He probably will read this but he knows I’m jealous. His life is so much better now, he has friends again, he goes out, he enjoys everything. He has feelings. I am happy for him. But I’m also very envious. I want my life back too.

 

On another note, I feel different than I did before. I have my down days but in the past couple of months I’ve been awash with a feeling of calm and comfort. My perceptions of the world are different. I feel myself healing from withdrawal, I really do. Waves are nasty and make me think I’m not recovering at all, but overall I feel so much better than I did in the past. The world feels so much more comfortable these days. Everything is so much easier to deal with. My brain feels different. I have tracked almost every single day since early July with pssd and withdrawal symptoms and I can tell you I’ve seen progress. (Those notes also will help me write my recovery story if/when I do :).)

 

I really appreciate everyone on this site. Friends IRL just don’t understand.  Thank you and happy healing everyone.

[Rosetta]

You are doing well, Potions.  Those are a lot of changes, and changes are what you want to see.  It's wonderful that you are tracking the changes so that you can hold on to hope during waves!  -- Rosetta

[potions]

Thanks Rosetta. Unfortunately I am in a wave. I’m fatigued, unwell, tearful, and anxious. I have no appetite and can’t sleep. I feel frozen in time. It’s really scary how much my sense of self can change throughout this journey. One day I’m hopeful and cheerful and another I’m in hell. Even the hell seems to change. Anhedonia and apathy aren’t the prime causes of my distress in this wave. I feel sad, emotionally upset, and alone. This is how I felt in my early February wave before it transitioned into anhedonia. I know this won’t last forever, but it’s tough to trudge through. But I can do it. As I’ve said, I’ve gone through waves before and I can go through them again. And there’s always a window waiting on the other side.

[Rosetta]

Aww, I'm sorry it's bad right now.  You have a good attitude though.  That will help some.  I agree, it's distressing how the sense of self changes.  I'm glad it changes again to something more comfortable.  Always remember a wave is temporary. - R

[potions]

I feel just as bad as I did last year in May, July, August. . . The anxiety, horrid despair, unnerving inner tension, desperate thoughts, emotionally clinginess, hopelessness, insomnia, insane depression is just too much to bear. Nothing gives me relief—nothing. I am hardly moving but also feel a desperate need to jump out of my body and escape. I’m really very unwell. I also drank alcohol a few minutes ago and it did nothing to calm the anxiety. I’m very upset that I’m still having these symptoms 20 months into withdrawal. I’m wondering if taking mianserin for 3 months in September-November might have made things worse, and now I’m going through withdrawal  from that too. I’m seriously so unwell. I’m so confused why these symptoms change so rapidly and so drastically throughout periods of weeks... It’s really tough to even breathe right now in this state. I feel as though these symptoms are exactly the same as they were last May, which was a year ago, and last July, and August and October. This horrible anxiety. And I’m 20 months off now. Why have I not gotten better? Why am I still getting akathisia? When will this ever go away? If it goes away gradually will I have to wait multiple years in both in the anxiety and pssd department to see relief? I thought I was done with the horrible restless anxiety despair but I was wrong. It’s still going strong and has been for days now. It’s torture to exist with this.

[potions]

Am I going to be suffering with these symptoms for years more? Is it possible that this is the last time I could experience this intense despair anxiety? Could I snap out of this state forever someday and never have this symptom again? I really really don’t know how much more of this I can take; I’ve done nothing all year except obsess about withdrawal and pssd and suffer these horrible symptoms. I can’t live like this for much longer, especially when there’s no end in sight and no guarantee for relief in any amount of time. I’ve read stories of people who have had PSSD for 25 years, and I know pssd pretty much goes hand in hand with anhedonia, which means that some people have had drug-induced anhedonia for 25 years after coming off the drug, which is unacceptable. Some people recover, I know, but some people don’t, and I can’t do that possibility. I can’t live with that. And anhedonia is a piece of cake compared to the intense, horrid, agonizing anxiety that I’m dealing with, 20 months off the drug. How much more of this can I possibly take? There’s no guarantee for relief anywhere and I’ve spent the majority of my time after coming off Zoloft in intense misery or feeling absolutely nothing. I can’t do this much longer. I’m so down. I can’t do anything to cheer me up. Please, somebody reassure me...

[Itzakadoozee]

26 minutes ago, potions said:

Am I going to be suffering with these symptoms for years more? Is it possible that this is the last time I could experience this intense despair anxiety? Could I snap out of this state forever someday and never have this symptom again? I really really don’t know how much more of this I can take; I’ve done nothing all year except obsess about withdrawal and pssd and suffer these horrible symptoms. I can’t live like this for much longer, especially when there’s no end in sight and no guarantee for relief in any amount of time. I’ve read stories of people who have had PSSD for 25 years, and I know pssd pretty much goes hand in hand with anhedonia, which means that some people have had drug-induced anhedonia for 25 years after coming off the drug, which is unacceptable. Some people recover, I know, but some people don’t, and I can’t do that possibility. I can’t live with that. And anhedonia is a piece of cake compared to the intense, horrid, agonizing anxiety that I’m dealing with, 20 months off the drug. How much more of this can I possibly take? There’s no guarantee for relief anywhere and I’ve spent the majority of my time after coming off Zoloft in intense misery or feeling absolutely nothing. I can’t do this much longer. I’m so down. I can’t do anything to cheer me up. Please, somebody reassure me...

 Hope you feel better. I’m rooting for you.

[Rosetta]

You are going to be okay, Potions.  Yes, the miaserin has probably given your WD a boost.  You are in a wave, and you are catastrophizing.  You are feeling all of the doubt and despair that a wave brings. When you come out of the wave you will feel more hope.  Just on Sunday you were talking about how good you had been feeling.  You said your friend snapped out of PSSD.  You were feeling jealous, but hopeful.  This is typical of WD.  When you are down you are really, really down.  It's a problem of having terrible neurotransmitter activity.  It's common to feel no hope and to fear years of misery, but it's all a trick.  You are seeing progress and having feelings like jealousy.  That's really good news!!! Let the wave pass.  Try to distract, change the channel and avoid the emotional spiral.  You can do this!  It won't be years of the same degree of misery if you avoid the drugs.  You need to avoid alcohol.  It's not safe for you right now.  It will be only a while before you feel hope again when you feel comfortable and relaxed again.  You will see.  For now trust the process.  

[potions]

Will these waves go away forever one day? Will the windows really get longer and longer and more frequent? I’m extremely disturbed at how horrible I feel right now and really don’t know if this is normal. Most of the last 12 months I’ve felt awful. I’m so depressed. I don’t know if it’s possible that the windows will be the permanent state one day. The waves seem to have not gotten any shorter or less intense over these past 20 months

[BenyaMarubo]

I also took mianserin in various dose (max. 50 mg) in sept nov 2017.

Withdrawal from mianserin is brutal, 3 months insomnia etc. Many describe mianserin as a mild drug - well, thats a myth. 30 mg is a high initial dose.

The statement that mianserin combats pssd is a myth as well, i think

I actually got pssd from it....

I do not know how long will wd from mianserin take, this question is also very important for me...

[potions]

17 hours ago, BenyaMarubo said:

I also took mianserin in various dose (max. 50 mg) in sept nov 2017.

Withdrawal from mianserin is brutal, 3 months insomnia etc. Many describe mianserin as a mild drug - well, thats a myth. 30 mg is a high initial dose.

The statement that mianserin combats pssd is a myth as well, i think

I actually got pssd from it....

I do not know how long will wd from mianserin take, this question is also very important for me...

Well that’s discouraging. I am worried about having messed myself up more with the mianserin but to be honest, I was so desperate and depressed at that point that I think it might have been the best decision to take that anyway. I’m sorry you got PSSD from mianserin...I think we need to stay away from literally every single drug, supplement, substance, etc from now on to heal from PSSD and withdrawal. That’s what I hope to do. Nothing is safe it seems...

[potions]

Update: RELIEF! Oh god the anxiety is so much better today. The storm of that wave has passed and I feel so so much better. 

[Rosetta]

I'm so glad!

[potions]

Anhedonia usually follows these periods of intense anxiety/dysphoria, so I’m in the anhedonia/depersonalization boat right now. It isn’t fun but it’s a big relief.

[SkyBlue]

1 hour ago, potions said:

Anhedonia usually follows these periods of intense anxiety/dysphoria, so I’m in the anhedonia/depersonalization boat right now. It isn’t fun but it’s a big relief.

 

There is a theory that anhedonia is actually the brain protecting us or itself from the intense stress and upheaval of withdrawal. It kind of makes sense.

 

I think your statement that "it isn't fun but it's a big relief" shows a great attitude. : )

[Rosetta]

I have an after effect, too.  It's more sadness and despair than anhedonia.  I'm glad you find it a relief.  Enjoy the relief and get some rest. -R

[potions]

Relationship stress and generally feeling alone triggers tremendous wave symptoms. Even one little comment from someone that I find important to me can spin me into a nasty wave that can last weeks (or even months.) Even when the stress is gone and everything is friendly again, I still have residual wave symptoms. This has been incredibly difficult for me over the past 20 months as I feel I have to do everything in my power to avoid any conflict or abandonment from people that I care about or I’ll be in hell for weeks after the conflict has passed.

[potions]

Also in the past month or so I’ve been having a ton of brain zaps. I don’t even remember having brain zaps like these when I came off Zoloft... It’s so strange.

[potions]

Also currently PSSD symptoms are terrible.

[Rosetta]

Oh, Potions, the difficulty with angering or disappointing anyone we care about!  We are very vulnerable, and it's incredibly threatening to consider abandonment or anger from those we depend upon.  The neuro-emotions make it a living Hell.  Know that this will pass.  You will get through this stage and start to feel safe again at least in the windows.  I hope your boyfriend will be understanding.  My husband isn't able to control his anger and disappointment, but he is very loyal.  I suffer greatly when there is any conflict and I try to avoid it at all cost.  For now, while neuro-emotions are still a problem, I think that is wise.

 

I hope you feel better soon, Rosetta

[powerback]

21 hours ago, potions said:

Relationship stress and generally feeling alone triggers tremendous wave symptoms. Even one little comment from someone that I find important to me can spin me into a nasty wave that can last weeks (or even months.) Even when the stress is gone and everything is friendly again, I still have residual wave symptoms. This has been incredibly difficult for me over the past 20 months as I feel I have to do everything in my power to avoid any conflict or abandonment from people that I care about or I’ll be in hell for weeks after the conflict has passed.

Oh Potions I feel for here so much ,I totally empathise about the comments ,we are painfully sensitive ,don't judge yourself ,be kind in how you talk to yourself ,we are so delicate ,I can get anticipatory anxiety of someone saying something .your not alone on this journey ,remember that when your heavy with symptoms and having feelings of abandonment .

Never forget you deserve all the peace and comfort you will get when this is over .we all deserve it .

Take care .

[potions]

I really appreciate your support @Rosetta @powerback. Thank you.

 

Current symptoms: Extreme vertigo/dizziness, headaches, emotional blunting/anhedonia, PSSD, brain zaps.

 

Symptoms that aren’t as bad right now: Agitation/rages, extreme anxiety, neuro emotions, akathisia, insomnia, severe emotional pain and feeling like I’m going crazy.

 

I’m curious as to why certain symptoms that seem to be more present in the acute stages of withdrawal (brain zaps/vertigo) are with me right now. Could it be from the mianserin I took 6 months ago? Or the aniracetam that I took consistently from around mid January to the end of April? I stopped the aniracetam suddenly in late April but have been having many brain zaps and electric shock type feelings for the past couple of months, moreso than I ever remember having in withdrawal from Zoloft, but I only started paying attention to symptoms recently so maybe I just don’t remember.

 

In the past 2 weeks I was in a horrendous wave with every single symptom listed above to the utmost severity (besides akathisia which wasn’t as bad as it was last year but I still had it.) Now all of those emotional symptoms are improved and I’m simply numb and dizzy. It’s really interesting how symptoms change. . .I consider this a relief but this is not a window.

[Rosetta]

I wrote something on my thread today about the way we redefine windows as we heal.  I also have what I call "dirty windows."  None of this process seems to make any sense unless we consider the fact that the healing of one part affects the way whole brain works.  I've come to think that a window is a time when I feel a lot better and a wave is when I feel a lot worse, but the symptoms in a window could be the same ones I have had in a wave.  It's all so crazy!  

 

Yours, Rosetta