success boomshakalaka: My journey of becoming a better person

[boomshakalaka]

Quote

 

Hello everyone! I'm a 23 year old male from Finland My story pretty much goes like this. Got really depressed when I was around 17-18, which led me to see a doctor. They made me see a doctor and I scored really high points on their "depression test". At around 18 years old I was quite suicidal. I was almost instantly put on 20 mg of citalopram and with 3-4 months I was doing a lot better. Fast forward 5 years and I have eaten the same medication for around 4 years now (had some breaks when I tried to quit). I think I ate 20 mg for around 2.5 years and 10mg for around 1.5 years. Troughout these years my depression has become a better, however I've had periods in my life where it got quite bad. Right now I'm studying at a business school and around 8 months ago I really decided that it's the right time to get off the meds. I quit my 10mg citalopram cold turkey, which in hindsight wasn't a good idea and I don't reccomend it to anyone. I got really bored of living in a somewhat medicated state of mind and really just wanted to feel like a normal human being.

 

During these 8 months of withdrawal the first 2 months were filled with the basic withdrawal symptoms that almost everyone has. Month 2-5 was a time period where I felt a lot of anxiety and since around month 5-6 to now I've been in a state where I find it hard to get enjoyment out of life. I think it's called anhedonia or something. And also my emotions haven't come back and I feel a little bit weird still.

 

It's also worth pointing out that both of my previous relationships have ended, while I was in wd, which I completely understand now.

 

So I just pretty much briefly explained my situation atm and I've been thinking of doing this for weeks now. The reason is that after getting over my darkest depression I've been left with a feeling of wanting to help other people going trough the same thing. I created this account in order to show everyone else my progess, what I'm doing, to be able to give advice and to motivate others.

 

Right now I'm in a quite sh*tty situation, where my relationship of 1.5 years is going quite ****, I don't feel that much emotions and I feel a little bit depressed sometimes. I will show you how to get trough this!

 

 

 

 

[mammaP]

Hi boom, I'll call you boom because I will never remember how to spell your full name . 

 

Withdrawal is horrendous but you are coping very well with it and it is good that you want to share your experience. It is reassuring for others when they can see that it does get better with time. I am sorry that your relationship is not going well, emotional blunting is a common sympto, of anti depressants and withdrawal but will come back in time. I remember when I felt something for the first time in years. I was moved by something on TV, then cried happy tears because I was crying sad tears. Does not make sense to anyone else but it was really good to feel again.  There may be hope for your relationship. We have a topic on what loved ones ,ight see, if I can find it I will post it here for you to show your partner. Here is a link to the post. 

 

http://survivingantidepressants.org/index.php?/topic/1234-what-loved-ones-might-see/

 

You will experience windows and waves while your brain and nervous system work on healing from the effects of the drugs.

Windows can last for seconds or weeks, and the waves ALWAYS pass eventually. 

 

http://survivingantidepressants.org/index.php?/topic/82-the-windows-and-waves-pattern-of-stabilization/

 

Lots of us here find that fish oil and magnesium are invaluable and not very expensive. 

You will find links to topics about these here, along with links to many topics that you will fine interesting and will help you with your recovery

http://survivingantidepressants.org/index.php?/topic/606-important-topics-about-tests-supplements-treatments-diet/

 

We ask all our members to put their drug and tapering history in their signature, you can find instructions here..

http://survivingantidepressants.org/index.php?/topic/12364-please-put-your-withdrawal-history-in-your-signature/

 

[nz11]

Boom are able to update. Be great to hear from you.

[Altostrata]

Good news, boom has posted his success story here

 

 

As is our custom, I will close this topic now. Please congratulate boom in his new success story topic.