Quest

[Quest]

On 2017-10-14 at 8:36 AM, baroquep said:

Quest, I absolutely know how difficult it can be, I was where you are now not long ago and really feel for you.  It makes me so angry when I see story after story on this site and all over the internet with people suffering from the effects of these drugs.  Doctors just have no idea how they affect such a large percentage of the population.  The pharmaceutical companies have been negligent in educating not only the doctors but the public at large and it is unconscionable in my opinion.

While it may not feel like you are heading in the right direction, you are.  Your central nervous system is crying out right now from all the changes that have been made and what it needs now is complete freedom to make the adjustments necessary to return to homeostasis, and it is going to take time.  The harder we fight against it, the worse we make it for ourselves.  

All I can say is try and accept what is going on with you right now and treat yourself with the utmost care.  Dig deep to find the strength within you to carry on as you are, by the minute if you have to.  Just try and convince yourself that this is your new normal, for now, and cultivate the strength you have within you to get through another day no matter how uncomfortable you are.  I'd wake up some mornings with the feeling that the anxiety and depression was deep in my bones but I knew I had to carry on as I really didn't have any choice ... I knew that if I made any changes to the drugs I was taking was just going to make things worse, so I plodded through yet another day.  Over time, a lot of time, the good days outnumbered the bad days until the anxiety and depression softened and I started to get a new lease on life.  I nurtured what little strength I had and pushed myself through more days than I care to remember.  

We all have more strength inside of us than we realize and have to call on it and nurture ourselves through the darkest of days.  I know that it is not what you want to hear right now, it's hard to hang onto the thought that things will eventually get better, but they do.  The intensity of your symptoms will begin to soften but it is your job right now to keep things simple, slow and stable and try to accept this is your new normal, at least for now.

 

Keep it Simple, Slow and Stable   
Acceptance

Baroquep, I am having a world of trouble with my anxiety and no sleep. It is getting worse. How can I get some rest?  Can hardly sit still in a day, constant inner and outer restlessness.  Everytime I close my eyes I am jolted right back.  Does this indicate I'm still on too much effexor, or not enough?    Everyday i take those 6 beads i know its a different dose, is this doing more harm than good right now?  Will more magnesium help my sleep, or a small amount of melatonin?     I do hope you are feeling better and i thank you for your time and advice.  

[baroquep]

Hi Quest, sorry to hear that you are still having to deal with anxiety and lack of sleep, know it's not easy.  Unfortunately, this is the nature of withdrawal after the central nervous system has been destabilized and the only thing that is going to help resolve these issues is time.  The anxiety and lack of sleep can take some time to resolve and often a lot more time than we have feel we have the strength for.  When I destabilized, it took at least a few months before my CNS started to settle down.

 

The lack of sleep can be overwhelming, I remember many months where it felt like I'd only had a couple of hours of sleep every night but found that the more annoyed and upset I got about it, the worse I was making it for myself.  Until I was finally able to accept that this was my new normal, I wasn't going to have any peaceful rest, even the two hours a night I was able to manage.  So rather than fight it, I looked for ways to engage my mind so that I wasn't laying there stressed out about not sleeping.  I did try melatonin during this time but it just made things worse.  My anxiety increased to the point that I thought I was going to go back down that rabbit hole so I discontinued it immediately and things evened back out in a couple of days.  Think this is when I finally realized that nothing that I could do was going to make it any better, except to just relax and embrace acceptance that this was my new normal and I'd better make the best of it and held on to the hope that eventually things would get better on their own.  It did take a while but eventually my sleep did start to improve before I even noticed. 

 

Attitude and the ability to learn how to cope and manage our emotions is one of the tools I continue to learn and incorporate into my life as I tread through the journey to free myself of this antidepressant as I am determined to not let this drug take anything more from my life than it already has.  We build a resilience that we never knew that we had to get through the rough days so that we can fully enjoy the days when we have a bit of calm and peace.  

Time, patience and self-care are the only things I try and focus on right now, even when I feel that I can't persevere through one more day.  It's tiring, it takes a lot out of a person mentally and emotionally to get through another day, and I'm not always successful practising patience and self-care, it's hard, the hardest thing that I have ever had to deal with.  So I try to push myself gently through the difficult days with positive self-talk and loving kindness and some days it works and others I just glide through.  

 

In my opinion, and how I've learned to approach tapering is the fewer drug/supplement changes you make, the easier it will be on your central nervous system to recalibrate itself back to homeostasis.  If you add/remove anything at this time, your CNS will have additional changes to adjust to and add to the time you will have to wait for some relief from the anxiety and lack of sleep.  It's tempting to want to find something that will help relieve the symptoms but what I found is time, patience and self-care are the only things that really helped me in the long-run.  

Hope you start to feeling better soon.  

 

[Littlegrandma]

Quest ~

Thinking of you. Sorry you're still struggling so. I'm hoping you find peace soon!   

  I wish there was something more I could do or say~    Hugs lg

[Quest]

6 hours ago, Littlegrandma said:

Quest ~

Thinking of you. Sorry you're still struggling so. I'm hoping you find peace soon!   

  I wish there was something more I could do or say~    Hugs lg

Thanks lg,  I wish this wasn't happening to any of us.  I am glad you have been well, hugs back~

[Quest]

8 hours ago, baroquep said:

Hi Quest, sorry to hear that you are still having to deal with anxiety and lack of sleep, know it's not easy.  Unfortunately, this is the nature of withdrawal after the central nervous system has been destabilized and the only thing that is going to help resolve these issues is time.  The anxiety and lack of sleep can take some time to resolve and often a lot more time than we have feel we have the strength for.  When I destabilized, it took at least a few months before my CNS started to settle down.

 

The lack of sleep can be overwhelming, I remember many months where it felt like I'd only had a couple of hours of sleep every night but found that the more annoyed and upset I got about it, the worse I was making it for myself.  Until I was finally able to accept that this was my new normal, I wasn't going to have any peaceful rest, even the two hours a night I was able to manage.  So rather than fight it, I looked for ways to engage my mind so that I wasn't laying there stressed out about not sleeping.  I did try melatonin during this time but it just made things worse.  My anxiety increased to the point that I thought I was going to go back down that rabbit hole so I discontinued it immediately and things evened back out in a couple of days.  Think this is when I finally realized that nothing that I could do was going to make it any better, except to just relax and embrace acceptance that this was my new normal and I'd better make the best of it and held on to the hope that eventually things would get better on their own.  It did take a while but eventually my sleep did start to improve before I even noticed. 

 

Attitude and the ability to learn how to cope and manage our emotions is one of the tools I continue to learn and incorporate into my life as I tread through the journey to free myself of this antidepressant as I am determined to not let this drug take anything more from my life than it already has.  We build a resilience that we never knew that we had to get through the rough days so that we can fully enjoy the days when we have a bit of calm and peace.  

Time, patience and self-care are the only things I try and focus on right now, even when I feel that I can't persevere through one more day.  It's tiring, it takes a lot out of a person mentally and emotionally to get through another day, and I'm not always successful practising patience and self-care, it's hard, the hardest thing that I have ever had to deal with.  So I try to push myself gently through the difficult days with positive self-talk and loving kindness and some days it works and others I just glide through.  

 

In my opinion, and how I've learned to approach tapering is the fewer drug/supplement changes you make, the easier it will be on your central nervous system to recalibrate itself back to homeostasis.  If you add/remove anything at this time, your CNS will have additional changes to adjust to and add to the time you will have to wait for some relief from the anxiety and lack of sleep.  It's tempting to want to find something that will help relieve the symptoms but what I found is time, patience and self-care are the only things that really helped me in the long-run.  

Hope you start to feeling better soon.  

 

Thank you Baroquep for answering.  I guess I just don't know how I feel anymore.  It's hard to do the simplest of things.  I' m just trying to hold and it gets harder everyday when there isn't any breaks.  When do you stop if the reinstatement wasn't a success?  It seems everytime I take the effexor by 3 in the afternoon akathisia and anxiety is really high.  How can I at least try to make a six ball dose even?  

[Shep]

1 hour ago, Quest said:

It seems everytime I take the effexor by 3 in the afternoon akathisia and anxiety is really high.  How can I at least try to make a six ball dose even?  

 

Hi, Quest. 

 

Two questions:

 

1.  Back when you were posting your symptoms journal starting in this post here, you were taking the Effexor at 10 am. Why are you now taking it so late in the afternoon?

 

2.  When you say "every time I take the Effexor by 3 in the afternoon akathisia and anxiety is really high", does the Effexor make the anxiety worse? Or are you already having akathisia and anxiety before you take the dose of Effexor? 

[Quest]

50 minutes ago, Shep said:

 

Hi, Quest. 

 

Two questions:

 

1.  Back when you were posting your symptoms journal starting in this post here, you were taking the Effexor at 10 am. Why are you now taking it so late in the afternoon?

 

2.  When you say "every time I take the Effexor by 3 in the afternoon akathisia and anxiety is really high", does the Effexor make the anxiety worse? Or are you already having akathisia and anxiety before you take the dose of Effexor? 

I still take it at 10:00 am. Should have had a comma after the effexor, my apologies for the punctuation. By the time 3:00 pm rolls around the anxiety and akathisia is heightened. Early in the morning, usually 3-8 am anxiety starts ramping up and  I have the unclenching and clenching of all of my muscles and the inability to sit or lay still. My anxiety in the morning before effexor seems 5,6/10, where in the afternoon after effexor can be7,9/10.     In the evening though around 7 or 8 pm after my magnesium and probably because I'm so exhausted my anxiety is usually lower??  I still take the immovane at 9:30 pm at night.  I tried  taking it once at 8:30pm and was wide awake at 11:00 pm until morning.  

 

Should I try the liquid imovane tonite to see if my body can tolerate it? 

[ChessieCat]

7 hours ago, Quest said:

In the evening though around 7 or 8 pm after my magnesium

 

It is best to take smaller doses of magnesium several times a day rather than in one dose.  Some people dissolve it in water and sip it throughout the day.

[Quest]

4 hours ago, ChessieCat said:

 

It is best to take smaller doses of magnesium several times a day rather than in one dose.  Some people dissolve it in water and sip it throughout the day.

I'm scared if I limit my night dose I will lose that little bit of calm in the evening.  

[AliG]

Hi Quest. How has your experience of Magnesium been so far? If it has been ok - then there is no reason why you can't sip it throughout the day and then have either a bath or another small dose at night. It is usually an individual thing as to how much to take. You will usually know what you can or can't tolerate. Take it easy, but you can gradually work up in dose. Have you tried the oil ?  

 

Have you also tried power walking? I usually did that when akathisia - feelings struck. My husband never knew where I was - I was always walking ! LOL.   It's such good therapy.

 

I had akathisia and anxiety every afternoon and I was on nothing ... It's all just withdrawal. It's the body's way of coping with change ... This too shall pass ...

[Shep]

12 hours ago, Quest said:

Should I try the liquid imovane tonite to see if my body can tolerate it? 

 

Hi, Quest. I answered this over on your benzo thread. 

 

I wanted to add onto Ali's wise advice and encourage you to try an epsom salt bath. They are wonderful for relaxation. This is a recipe for making one:

 

Epsom salts baths -- another way to relax with magnesium

 

I wouldn't start out with 5 cups of epsom salts, though. Perhaps start at only 1/2 cup or 1 cup. And if you don't have problems, you can increase later. Adding in lavender oil or other calming oils can really help. Perhaps put on some relaxing music, too. Giver your nervous system every chance to relax. 

[Quest]

18 hours ago, Quest said:

Thank you Baroquep for answering.  I guess I just don't know how I feel anymore.  It's hard to do the simplest of things.  I' m just trying to hold and it gets harder everyday when there isn't any breaks.  When do you stop if the reinstatement wasn't a success?  It seems everytime I take the effexor by 3 in the afternoon akathisia and anxiety is really high.  How can I at least try to make a six ball dose even?  

Here are my symptoms Baroquep, thank you for looking at them.  Feels like I'm getting worse.  

10-12/17

 

Am:

 

12:00- keep clock watching

1:30- must have dozed off

2:00 - totally awake now

2:30 - water, bathroom

3:00 - head pressure, plugged off ears

5:00 - trying to breathe and get through the anxiety spikes

5:30 - reading to distract

7:30 - anxiety5/10, I am very tired, cold

8:00 - have to move, get boy to school, animals

8:30 - oatmeal, blueberries, banana

10:00 - effexor6 balls

10:30 - downtown, got some blood work to check kidneys

 

Pm:

 

12:00 - anxiety 5/10, spiked at hospital getting blood and dr. While she gave me heck for dr. Hopping for opinions.

12:30 - ate some spaghetti sauce, carrot

1:30 - anxiety 5/10

2:30 - anxiety6/10

3:30 - cold, full of cotton head, very tired, I over the last 2 weeks realize I can't cry, what is happening?  

4:00 - anxiety 5/10

4:30 - am in avoidance mode

5:30 -fed animals

6:00 - chicken/ potatoes 

6:30 - took 150 mgs of magnesium, probiotic

7:00 - anxiety 5/10

7:30 - really feeling dp/ dr today

8:00 - totally distracted myself with reading,stuffed up with cold as well

8:30 - anxiety 4/10 ate a piece of chicken, eyes super dried out, bloody nose.  

Imovane 3.75 mg

9:00 - bedtime

10:00 - please let me sleep!!

11:30 - my ears are burning, plugged off 

 

_____________________________________________________

 

10-13/17

 

Am:

 

12:00 - dozed

1:30 - laying here dozing

3:00 - ears feel like they are burning, very plugged off, shoulders on fire

5:00 - anxiety again 4/10

5:30 - cortisol spike5/10

6:30 - anxiety 6/10, ruminating thoughts, really restless legs and burning shoulders

7:00 - extremely tired

8:30 - bananna

10:00 - 6 balls of effexor, oatmeal and blueberries

11:00 - water,  high anxiety7/10

11:30 - total brain fog and pressured ears

 

Pm:

 

12:00 - anxiety 6/10

12:30 - no appetite, cold and tired, depression creeping back

1:00 -my hair is really starting to fall out now....trembling hands, super hard time motivating myself to do anything today. Blurry eyes.

1:30 - ruminating thoughts, have to force myself to eat, so not hungry high anxiety 7/10, burning shoulders

2:00 - still high anxiety7/10

3:00 -ears still bothering me, burning, both sides

5:00 -no appetite, forced a sandwich and celery for fibre

6:30 - shortness of breath

7:00 - extreme anxiety9/10

8:00 - 200 mgs of mag, probiotic

8:30 - bath with Epsom salts

9:00 - bed

9:30 - back to taking immovane 3.75 at this time, hopefully sleep

11:00 - 

11:30

 

_____________________________________________________

 

10-14-17

 

Am:

 

12:00 - 

12:30 - awake, anxiety already6/10

2:00 - water, bathroom, trying to breathe

4:00 - walked around house, shaking, trembling

4:30 - dark thoughts, trying to distract 

5:00 - stomach hurts, no appetite at all, shaking is getting worse 

5:30 - anxiety 7/10

6:30 - trying to stay warm, sick to my stomach, nosebleed

7:00 - anxiety 8/10

7:30 - ruminating thought, high agitation, can barely type, burning blood

8:30 - ate some chicken, banana, spoon of yogurt

9:00 - brain fog starting, blurry eyes, dry, dark thoughts flitting through, cold

9:30 - Everytime i close my eyes, 1 minute later i jerk back with anxiety, wont let up

10:00 - laying here in dread to take this pill anxiety 7/10, 6 beads of effexor

10:30 - hard to swallow 

11:00 - ate a smoothie with kale ,blueberries, flax coconut oil and whey protein

 

Pm:

12:30 - so tired, brain fog, are eyes, blurry,

1:30 - laying down again, really restless legs, the thought of doing laundry or bookwork is stressing me out.  How am I going to do life? Anxiety 5/10, brain fog

2:00 - weak, have to force myself to move, took son o meet up with friend

2:30 - groceries/ almost forgot where I put my cart!  Anxiety6/10, did the avoidance thing, tried not to wish I was other people~putting groceries away, boys are playing x box.  Have to be normal....

3:30 - ate a chicken sandwich, gluten free chocolate coconut bobble.  Hope it  does. Not freak me out, tasted good, a treat

4:00 - anxiety4/10. Really weak neck, bobble head, hard time to swallow, very tired.

4:30 - finished a load of laundry, want to dust but dont gave it in me..... Feel very angry and fed up... Brainfog

5:00 -anxiety spikes6/10

5:30 -fed animals

6:00 - doing animals,laundry... Beyond tired, just want some half decent sleep

6:30 - the dr/dp feelings eased a bit tonite, anxiety is about a 5/10 ears aren't burning as bad, just having a hard time swallowing, wth

8:00 - showertime

8:30 - very exhausted, but I Do Not Feel Bad right this moment😳

9:00 - bed, please sleep, still ok??

9:30 - 3.75 immovane

10:30 - 

 

10-15-17

 

Am:

 

12:30- trying to rest

2:30 - anxiety begins4/10, ears burning, 

3:00 - toss and turn, just trying to stay warm

4:00 -thoughts are starting their round thinking again

4:30 -anxiety spikes , really restless legs, ate bananna

5:00 - blurry, dry eyes

5:30 - more water, anxiety 5/10

7:00 - anxiety ramping, tired6/10

8:00 - ate a smoothie

8:30 -dogs, 

9:30 - anxiety 6.5-7/10, I really don't like making that pill up, ears plugged off and on fire again.  

10:00 -6 balls of effexor

10:30 -shaky , no appetite

 

Pm:

 

12:00 - ate an apple

12:30 -daughter is for a visit

2:00 - high anxiety, restless, no feelings, I know what I should feel like but I can't.  I can't cry.

2:30 - my brain is on fire, neck and shoulders

3:30 - went outside

4:30 - this is the worst I have felt, both my arms are numb, brain is on fire, can't really breathe and the anxiety is 10/10, so restless and sick, fingers all pins and needles.  Complete brain fog.

5:00 -noticed today dp/dr is really heightened, depression is extreme

5:30 -anxiety 9/10

6:30 - made supper, had small pork chop and some broccoli 

7:00 - animals,and cleanup, anxiety 8/10

7:30 - took 150 mag. Probiotic

8:30 - shower

9:00 - bed,  

9:30-3.75 mgs of immovane

10:30 - 

 

 

10/16/17

 

Am:

1:00 - anxiety ramping up5/10

1:30 - tossing, turning

2:30 - dark thoughts, high anxiety 6/10 constant

3:30 -trying to drink some water, guts feel terrible

5:00 - trying to read to distract

5:30 - anxiety is on going, it's getting more and more

6:00 -very restless but tired, fatigued

7:00 - head is heavy and still yuck thoughts, my memory is really getting bad, simplest of things hard

8:00 - animals and stuff that needs doing, bowl of oatmeal/ blueberries 

9:00 -laying down again, no energy, anxiety 5/10, heaviness, down feeling

10:00 -6 balls of effexor, very scared to take it, felt so bad yesterday.

11:00 -apple, trying to breathe, anxiety5/10

11:30 - 

 

Pm:

12:30 -ate some soup, foggy head, burning ears and arms, shaky legs

1:30 -anxiety7/10

2:00 - constant anxiety, 6/10

3:00 - trying to distract, tried to stretch out back, super sore

4:00 - some celery sticks, yogurt, pepperoni, hard to swallow

5:30 -an appointment with therapist, hopefully I can make it

6:30 - it was a good appt. 

7:00 - toasted tomato sandwich, spoon of honey and himalayan salt, carrot

7:30 - 150 mgs of mag. Probiotic

8:00 - anxiety 4/10

8:30 - hard time swallowing and taking deep breath all day

9:00 - bed

9:40-3.75 mgs of immovane

10:30 - trying to sleep

 

10/17/17

 

Am:

1:00 -awake

2:00 - burning shoulders, very cold anxiety 4/10

3:00 - ruminating thoughts, trying to breathe through

4:00 -anxiety ramping up5/10 in spurts

5:00 - everytime I close my eyes jolted back

7:00 - some bananna

8:00 - intermittent anxiety 5/10

8:30 -morning jobs, smoothie

10:00 -6 balls of effexor xr, dry eyes

11:30 - complete brain fog, extremely tired, no appetite,dizzy anxiety 5/10

 

Pm:

 

12:00 - ate some lunch

1:30 -anxiety 7/10, jittery, brain fog, ears burning but not as bad, itchy.

2:30 - 7/10anxiety

3:00 - jittery, brain fog, sore shoulders, lower back

3:30 - going to try some stretching, keep mind busy.  Tried to be observer of anxiety, really hard when youre in it~anxiety 6/10

5:00 -supper and cleanup

5:30 -very tired today anxiety 5/10

6:00 - supper, real hard time swallowing, taking a deep breath. Left ear burning more than right.

6:30 - bath tonite with epsom salt

7:00 - 150 mg of magnesium, probiotic

7:30 - anxiety 4/10

9:30-immovane 3.75

11:00 - still no sleep 

 

Sample:am going to write journal at this point~ oct18/17

 

Am:

 

12:00 - 

12:30- anxiety 9/10

4:00 -still bad, very tired

8:00 - oatmeal, blueberries

9:00 -depressed8/10, anxiety, 9/10

11:00 -ate lunch

11:30 - burning ears, earache

 

Pm:

1:00 -high anxiety, constant

2:30 - carrot, doing laundry/ banking

3:00 - skin is so dry, losing more  weight

3:30 - high anxiety8/10

5:00 -some eggs, deep depression/ darkness

5:30 -stomach in knots, clenching all day, very tight right now

6:00 - hard to breathe

6:30 - anxiety still high 6/10

7:00 - 

7:30 - took 200 mgs of mg. Probiotic

8:30 - so overtired

9:00 - tried some pudding

9:30-3.75 mgs of immovane

11:00 - resting

 

Sample: Oct19/17

 

Am:

1:00 - awake, tired anxiety

1:30 - dark thoughts

3:00 - still anxiety 5/10

3:30 -up for bathroom again

4:00 -ruminating thoughts, anxious, stomach sick, eyes blurry, dry

5:30 - anxiety 6/10

6:30 - my whole body aches, sore shoulders and back, I think my kidneys have a problem, more weight loss, no appetite

7:00 - have to move, shaky and jittery

7:30 - have appt. At 9. High anxiety6.5/10

8:30 -apple, smoothie

10:00 -effexor xr 6 balls

10:30 -shaky , jittery, ears burn, sore kidneys, they ache, depression4/10

11:00 -bloodwork, bobblehead

 

Pm:

12:00 - had to go groceryshopping, high anxiety.  7.5/10, brain fog, hard time swallowing and getting full breath

1:30 -chicken, salad

2:30 - anxiety 5/10

3:30 - eyes are sore, still issues with swallowing

4:30 - making supper

5:30 -roast and potatoes

6:00 - cleanup after dinner, anxiety spurts, anything can set me off

6:30 - cold, sore neck

7:30 - trying to make a pill up for immovane  and tomorrow , 150 mg. probiotic

8:30- 

9:00 - very tired, complete brain fog and dp

9:30 - immovane 3.75

11:00 - 

11:30 -

 

Oct20-17

 

Am

1:00 - bad time, anxiety, ruminating thoughts ,can not let back to rest

2:00 - up for bathroom

2:30 -  all I can think is how I want my life back, so very badly

4:30- and it begins again😔high anxiety, akathisia, cant sit still, I'm too tired for this.

5:00 - dark thoughts, depression about6/10

5:30 - anxiety constant 6/10

8:00 - have to function now, stuff has to be done, feel so stagnant

9:00 -leftovers for breakfast, maybe the protein will help, hard time swallowing

10:00-6 balls of effexor

11:00 -anxiety ramping

 

 

Pm:

12:30 -anxiety 5/10, really weak neck, fast heart beat, problems swallowing

1:00 -shaky legs, weak feeling, ears burning

1:30 -eyes are sore and dry

2:00 - having a hard time sitting still, especially my legs.

3:00 - akathisia starting, depression

4:00 - high anxiety, 9/10

4:30 - high anxiety, tense all over, very fidgety, having a hard time being still

5:00 -have to make the dinner and do animals

5:30 -made myself eat, more beef and salad

6:30 - took 150 mag.probiotic anxiety 6/10

7:00 - feeling very tired and run down, 

7:30 - mega movement issues, hard time not moving

8:00 - anxiety 5/10 comes in spurts 

9:00 - bedtime

9:30 - immovane  3.75 mg

11:00 - sleep?

11:30 -

 

Oct21/17

 

Am:

 

4:30 - anxiety, despair, dizzy, burning ears

8:00 - banana

9:30 - ruminating thoughts anxiety5/10

10:00 -6 balls of effexor

10:30 -smoothie

11:00 -racing thoughts

11:30 - still frozen to the spot, can't make myself focus or do anything 

 

Pm:

 

12:00 - movement issues again

1:00 -extreme brain fog, ears are bad, high anxiety

1:30 -have to go downtown, finding this harder to do 

3:30 - high anxiety, 8/10.  Akathisia in legs, arms

4:00 - 8/10 anxiety, ruminating thoughts

5:00 - OCD is getting more prominent day by day

5:30 -high anxiety 8/10

6:00 - eggs, a sausage

6:30 - anxiety5/10

7:00 - 150 mg of mg. probiotic 

7:30 - very tired

8:30 - ate some honeydew,pepperoni

9:30 - 3.75 mg of imovane

10:30 - still awake

 

Oct 22/17

Am:

 

12:30 -awake

2:30 - still tossing and turning, burning ears, back of neck

3:00 - ruminating thoughts

5:00 - am very tired, anxiety is starting to ramp

6:00 -akathisia escalating , very hard to sit or lay still

7:00 - inner restlessness increasing as well as the anxiety

7:30 - I can not bare it 

8:00 - very tired, banana

9:00 -so cold and tired, eyes are sore and dry

9:30 -ruminating thought, OCD behaviour, having a hard time functioning in simple tasks.  

10:00 -effexor 6 balls

11:00 -anxiety 7/10, complete brain fog, muscle clenching, lower legs and back are the worst.

11:30 - dark thoughts, made myself eat some oatmeal and fruit 

 

[AliG]

Quest: I know you're struggling but if you can stabilize on this dose - that's the best you can do at this point in time.

Edited October 22, 2017 by AliG

[baroquep]

Hi Quest, I agree with AliG, your anxiety seems to be getting better and I would stay at this dose and try and stabilize on six balls.  As far as getting an even dose each day, would you be able to take the six balls to a pharmacist so that they can work out the dose and have them compound it for you so you can feel confident you are getting a consistent dose?  I don't have any experience with weighing or counting and do feel confident that the compounding pharmacy that I use is able to measure precise doses.   

[Quest]

4 hours ago, AliG said:

Quest: I know you're struggling but if you can stabilize on this dose - that's the best you can do at this point in time.

Alig I dont think I am stabilizing .... I think its catching up with me from dropping to six balls.  The dose really does matter, especially with this few of beads. 

[Quest]

12 minutes ago, baroquep said:

Hi Quest, I agree with AliG, your anxiety seems to be getting better and I would stay at this dose and try and stabilize on six balls.  As far as getting an even dose each day, would you be able to take the six balls to a pharmacist so that they can work out the dose and have them compound it for you so you can feel confident you are getting a consistent dose?  I don't have any experience with weighing or counting and do feel confident that the compounding pharmacy that I use is able to measure precise doses.   

I dont know how to figure out what six balls is for a dose, the pharmacist needs a prescription.

[baroquep]

If you are not confident with taking the six biggest balls out of an Effexor capsule on a daily basis, I would call a compounding pharmacist and ask him/her whether or not he would be able to measure the dose precisely if you brought him/her in six balls of Effexor (explain that you are trying to discontinue Effexor) and then make an appointment with your doctor (or whomever prescribes it for you) and get them to work with the pharmacist and provide a prescription accordingly to get the dose compounded.

 

 In my situation, the pharmacist and my doctor deal with each other directly and all I have to do is tell the pharmacist what percentage I want to reduce by each month and she does the rest.  

 

At this stage, I think you are worrying unnecessarily that you aren't getting a consistent dose and if I were you, I'd just continue to remove the six biggest balls out of a capsule each day and throw out the rest.  The variation between the six balls is going to be so minute as to not throw you off becoming stabilized.  

 

Edited October 23, 2017 by ChessieCat
correct a typo

[Quest]

On 2017-10-22 at 7:22 PM, baroquep said:

If you are not confident with taking the six biggest balls out of an Effexor capsule on a daily basis, I would call a compounding pharmacist and ask him/her whether or not he would be able to measure the dose precisely if you brought him/her in six balls of Effexor (explain that you are trying to discontinue Effexor) and then make an appointment with your doctor (or whomever prescribes it for you) and get them to work with the pharmacist and provide a prescription accordingly to get the dose compounded.

 

 In my situation, the pharmacist and my doctor deal with each other directly and all I have to do is tell the pharmacist what percentage I want to reduce by each month and she does the rest.  

 

At this stage, I think you are worrying unnecessarily that you aren't getting a consistent dose and if I were you, I'd just continue to remove the six biggest balls out of a capsule each day and throw out the rest.  The variation between the six balls is going to be so minute as to not throw you off becoming stabilized.  

 

Baroquep, I think I might have to try and compound the balls, I don't know if the dr. Will agree to this small dose or not.  I truly do think the variation on the six balls causes me major grief each day. My afternoons seem to bring worsened pacing.  I will try this week.

[ChessieCat]

I also think you are worrying needlessly.  Members who are weighing small doses have some variation in their doses.  Even my compounded Pristiq capsules would have some variation.

[Quest]

On 2017-10-28 at 9:49 PM, ChessieCat said:

I also think you are worrying needlessly.  Members who are weighing small doses have some variation in their doses.  Even my compounded Pristiq capsules would have some variation.

ChessieCat, the variation at this small of a dose is huge.  I can't even tell if it's helping as the akathisia worsens each day.  Maybe coming down to six balls was just way too much of a drop.  I can not think past the exhaustion and anxiety.  I don't know how to stop the dark intrusive thoughts. I am causing huge stress for my family, they just want to see some improvement and there hasn't been since I've started this.  

[primekittycat]

@Quest any updates? Haven't heard from you in a long time

[Littlegrandma]

@Quest

im also wondering. I think about you from time to time. 

Hope all is well. Lg