Soup: starting Lexapro taper

[RachelSusan]

@Soup

 

Unfortunately I can relate to what you are going through. It's very hard to believe that holding will help, especially if you don't see signs of improvement. For me it was months and months of holding. I keep repeating that because it felt like everybody else was improving within weeks or a month when I was going through it.

[Soup]

@RachelSusan thank you as always for your kind words . It just seems that after 6.5 months I should of felt some kind of shift . Did you wait for a real lift of symptoms ? Or just some Lessing? I could sit with it better if I could feel

something shifting . I try to be very quiet with myself to see if I can feel or see it . This morning I just want to run into the street screaming from the terror and frustration . Did you have family through this ? My husband is pretty worn out now which I don’t blame him but I get worried he will just be done with me some days . 
Thank you for your support it really does mean so much to me. I feel very alone 

[RachelSusan]

@Soup

 

I experienced a very slow lessening. I didn't really experience windows or waves.

 

I had family and yes they were helpful and loving but I could tell they were sick of hearing about it.  My friends ran out of patience much earlier.  Most people don't believe in withdrawal, or if they do believe they don't think it that it can be all that bad. I think somewhere around the end of the first year I stopped sharing with them. After my long hold and a resumed taper I would let me husband know each time I tapered but I said nothing more than "I tapered this morning".  I only told him in case he saw altered behavior from me.

 

I feel sorry for all of us that go through this.  I feel sorry for the person going through withdrawal but also the families.  It is really hard on everyone and certainly tests a marriage or any type of close relationship.

[RachelSusan]

You know, there is one thing you can help me with. Even though I went through this myself I am still not sure what to say to someone else going through it. I hate to say "feel better" because that is what everyone is already trying to do.  When someone tells me how bad it is I usually agree with them and say yes it is bad, because I know it is, but is that too negative?  I try to be honest and gentle in my answers but still I question it. I think encouraging hope is good but I want to give real hope, not false hope. What do you want to hear?  What offers you encouragement to get through the day? I am very interested in your thoughts on this.

[Soup]

Who did you talk to ? If you stopped talking to your family . I am afraid to be alone and afraid to be with others all at the same time . My husband will want to talk about regular things and all I want to do is scream don’t you know I am dieing !!!!

I am still so confused about the antibiotic and getting so I’ll again . I feel

like an oddity compared to others . You just had to hold because of coming off but what did the antibiotics do?I worry about the Wellbutrin constantly . I just want to run away but to where ? I feel Like I am not doing enough . 
Today I am full of rage which maybe is a good thing I haven’t had that for awhile . 

[Soup]

@RachelSusan really all you can do is give hope and I guess real lived experience examples . That does help hearing others held for this amount of time or tried a safe taper and it eventually helped . I know we all react differently of course and we all have different stories for sure but I think we are all dealing with the same kind of damage . My brain is so confused today 😭 

your words really do help as I always feel so alone 

[rmce72a]

Hello, Soup   I can relate to everything you are saying/experiencing. My husband is also sick of the whole thing, so I try to hide how I am feeling, even when I know I need some verbal reassurance from him. I don't really blame him. His has turned his life upside down too, and I try to keep that in mind, but I still sometimes resent the fact that his life is different now with me ill and in withdrawal, but mine is absolute hell. I try to focus on all the positive support here such as telling myself this is not me, but the drugs. Still, it's tough not to get caught up in the frustration, sadness, and anger. Know that you are not alone, and try to believe as I do that somehow we will get through this.

[RachelSusan]

@Soup

 

Saying hello and I'm hoping that your last few days were alright, or at least as close to being as alright as they can be under the conditions. 

[Soup]

@RachelSusan thank you for checking in with me so appreciated more than you will ever know. 
Last night I actually felt tired at 9:30 and fell asleep for 5 hours and did not have a nightmare or wake up shaking . So I will take that and would love if that would happen every night . 
Other than that pretty well the same . Trying to keep my inner mantra going of I am closer to stabilization every day and I am healing everyday . 
Hugs 

[RachelSusan]

@Soup Anytime someone going through withdrawal can get 5 hours of sleep and not wake up shaking is fantastic. Ongoing sleep disturbance is brutal.

[peaceandlove]

On 6/10/2022 at 7:06 PM, Soup said:

I am experiencing DR/DP brain fog , reduced skin sensitivity  , constipation hissing in ears , head pressure , cold patches , no urge to eat or drink ( but I do) very broken sleep and vibrations when waking up . Sweating off and on . The things that have stopped are the dry retching and burning skin . I take my Wellbutrin at 8:15 every morning never miss a dose . No other stressful things have happened since . I am not working and am taken care of very well by my family . I take no other drugs nor smoke or drink nor any supplements . Just wondering if others just hold when this happens ? My symptoms are steady all day except cold patches come and go . Thank you 

Hello. How long did your dry retching last?? I am feeling the same way. Stomach pain & heartburn. No appetite as well

[Soup]

@peaceandlovelasted a few months for me . I wish you well 

[Ariel]

Hi @Soup

Just to say I'm thinking of you and wishing you well. 

Sending hugs and healing vibes <3

[Soup]

Trying so hard to sit with this and believe it can get better . Still so confused about the antibiotics. If holding is the right thing . I know there are no answers I am just really down that nothing has shifted farther and venting I guess  . Looking for hope and trying my best ……

[RachelSusan]

@Soup I know this is hard.  For me, withdrawal was the hardest thing I ever went through in my life. Nothing has ever come even close.

 

You may already be doing this, but I found it helped me to keep notes.  I used a spread sheet on the computer and I listed all my symptoms and rated each on a one through ten in severity and I did it every single day. The reason I did this is because I thought I saw absolutely no improvement. When I would compare my notes maybe a month or two later I did see there was some very slight improvement. It helped to keep me going.  Some people don't like this idea because they don't want to think about it every day or it is too much work.  However for me at least, I was already thinking about it anyway. I've attached a screen shot of what I did. It may not be for you, just an idea I thought I would throw out there.

[Soup]

@RachelSusan thank you for sharing this . I do try but admit I get discouraged. 
Just have cried all morning …… 

[RachelSusan]

@Soup

Oh Susan...I am so sorry it is this bad for you.  I think we all get very discouraged. This is the most discouraging thing to ever go through.

[Roserdl]

2 hours ago, Soup said:

Trying so hard to sit with this and believe it can get better . Still so confused about the antibiotics. If holding is the right thing . I know there are no answers I am just really down that nothing has shifted farther and venting I guess  . Looking for hope and trying my best ……

Trust yourself

 

Do what you feel is your right path

 

You have survived this far and you are a fast healer.  You actually got out of the last antidepressant withdrawal faster than a lot of people even though it was hell.  You can recalibrate again

 

 

 

 

[Soup]

@Arielthank you for kind thoughts . I hope you have had a good day of healing 

[peaceandlove]

21 hours ago, Soup said:

@peaceandlovelasted a few months for me . I wish you well 

Thank you. You as well, continue to heal

[Soup]

Putting this question out there for mods or anyone with experience . 
In my country you get Wellbutrin xl prescribed but I can get the powder from a compounding pharmacy with out the xl part so that would be immediate release .Would it be better to get this made into capsules or make a Liquid with it . Also I would only be able to go straight from the xl form to the powder / liquid do others think that is to much of a leap ?
Thank you for any input . 

[RachelSusan]

@Soup

Hi Susan,

I cannot answer all of your questions, but perhaps I can offer a suggestion.  I have found it much easier to mix liquids.  You say that Wellbutrin SR does not come in liquid form in your country. Have you tried looking for it under different brand names, such as Bupropion or Zyban?

 

Also I would not use extended release.  But others may feel it makes no difference.  Just my opinion.

 

I did my taper using liquid. I found it easy to mix. Also if you are going to go on liquid you will need to do a crossover from pill or capsule of your liquid. The link below should help you.

 

[Soup]

@RachelSusan my dilemma is crossing over from my one a day Wellbutrin xl to immediate release powder to do a taper . I think I need to take 3 capsules a day to make it like the xl type . But I was just wondering if people make liquid from the immediate release powder . I would like to do liquid but unsure if that would be prudent or just stick to the capsules . 
Thank you for your input always appreciated 

[RachelSusan]

@Soup I do understand you dilemma. I'll keep following to see what you end up doing.

[Soup]

@DazzlingCold I see you are tapering off Wellbutrin xl . I was wondering how you are doing this ? I want to taper off my 150 mg Wellbutrin xl but am a bit stumped as I only have the xl to work with . Any advice would be gratefully accepted . 
I appreciate your time 

Thank you 

[DazzlingCold]

23 hours ago, Soup said:

@DazzlingCold I see you are tapering off Wellbutrin xl . I was wondering how you are doing this ? I want to taper off my 150 mg Wellbutrin xl but am a bit stumped as I only have the xl to work with . Any advice would be gratefully accepted . 
I appreciate your time 

Thank you 

Hello @Soup! Love the username.  

I am actually dissolving the pills as of right now. I just got my PCP to prescribe IR pills but still using whats left of the XL. Ideally, you would dissolve the IR pills but I’ve been working just fine dissolving XL. There’s threads mentioning you can’t do that and I’m no medical professional blah blah blah you know the spiel. Here is how I do it and it works for me. 
 

Buy syringes that measure in ml (i think they all do? Not sure)

1. Use 1ml of water for every 10g of med. I used 90ml of water for 900mg xl (3 pills of 300mg xl) to make my solution for 7 days. 

2. Add salt to water (I don’t measure amount of salt but Wellbutrin

 makes a pretty decent solution without much salt)

 

2. Cut pills in half and let the inside (the actual medicine) dissolve in water for about 30-60 min. Check when the water starts turning really white.
 

3. I either wait and let the medicine fall completely off the outside layer and just take layer pieces out with a strainer/spoon, or scrape the remainder of the outer layer from medicine out with my fingers and throw out the layer. Notice that there is a very very slim, clear coat that covers a white thicker layer. I remove both. It’s really almost just 1 layer that dissolves into almost two. 

4. I divide my doses in 3 and take them about 4-6 hours apart as that how long an IR pill would last. Ex: 37mg/3.7 at breakfast, lunch dinner for a total of 111mg/11.1ml per day. 
 

I keep in the fridge and throw out the remainder on day 7. 
 

it’s really not time consuming and it gets easier as you become more familiar with the process. 
 

Most days during lunch I am at work so I have been cutting pills to get as close as possible to my noon dosage. I may just store liquid in the break room fridge at some point but I have to work with a forgetful mind.

 

Good luck and if you have any other questions, feel free to ask and keep in touch. 

[Soup]

When you started doing the liquid did it make you feel different ? I have always just taken my 1 pill at 8 in the morning so was wondering if changing to liquid  affected you drastically ? 
Thank you for sharing 

[DazzlingCold]

2 minutes ago, DazzlingCold said:

Hello @Soup! Love the username.  

I am actually dissolving the pills as of right now. I just got my PCP to prescribe IR pills but still using whats left of the XL. Ideally, you would dissolve the IR pills but I’ve been working just fine dissolving XL. There’s threads mentioning you can’t do that and I’m no medical professional blah blah blah you know the spiel. Here is how I do it and it works for me. 
 

Buy syringes that measure in ml (i think they all do? Not sure)

1. Use 1ml of water for every 10g of med. I used 90ml of water for 900mg xl (3 pills of 300mg xl) to make my solution for 7 days. 

2. Add salt to water (I don’t measure amount of salt but Wellbutrin

 makes a pretty decent solution without much salt)

 

2. Cut pills in half and let the inside (the actual medicine) dissolve in water for about 30-60 min. Check when the water starts turning really white.
 

3. I either wait and let the medicine fall completely off the outside layer and just take layer pieces out with a strainer/spoon, or scrape the remainder of the outer layer from medicine out with my fingers and throw out the layer. Notice that there is a very very slim, clear coat that covers a white thicker layer. I remove both. It’s really almost just 1 layer that dissolves into almost two. 

4. I divide my doses in 3 and take them about 4-6 hours apart as that how long an IR pill would last. Ex: 37mg/3.7 at breakfast, lunch dinner for a total of 111mg/11.1ml per day. 
 

I keep in the fridge and throw out the remainder on day 7. 
 

it’s really not time consuming and it gets easier as you become more familiar with the process. 
 

Most days during lunch I am at work so I have been cutting pills to get as close as possible to my noon dosage. I may just store liquid in the break room fridge at some point but I have to work with a forgetful mind.

 

Good luck and if you have any other questions, feel free to ask and keep in touch. 

Meant to say…

1ml of liquid per 10mg

and

I take 37mg/3.7ml for breakfast, lunch and dinner

 

Also, I use a syringe that measures in whole milliliters to take the 3ml of the dose, and one that measures in 10ths of milliliters  so I can take the 0.7ml part of the dose

[DazzlingCold]

1 minute ago, Soup said:

When you started doing the liquid did it make you feel different ? I have always just taken my 1 pill at 8 in the morning so was wondering if changing to liquid  affected you drastically ? 
Thank you for sharing 

I saw no change aside from regular WD symptoms. I did not feel more activated after taking it as some people say IR makes them feel. But I also don’t feel more activated taking straight IR pills now a days. May want to consider I am tapering two antidepressants (Wellbutrin and lexapro). Not sure if that affects anything.

[DazzlingCold]

7 minutes ago, Soup said:

When you started doing the liquid did it make you feel different ? I have always just taken my 1 pill at 8 in the morning so was wondering if changing to liquid  affected you drastically ? 
Thank you for sharing 

I do try to take my last dose before 6 as im not sure if the teoubke I have going to sleep at times is due to WD or maybe a late Wellbutrin dose. Been doing better but I am also stable at this time (not in deep WD).  

[DazzlingCold]

Just now, DazzlingCold said:

I do try to take my last dose before 6 as im not sure if the teoubke I have going to sleep at times is due to WD or maybe a late Wellbutrin dose. Been doing better but I am also stable at this time (not in deep WD).  

Trouble * 

 

ugh

im in a phone lol

[DazzlingCold]

On 7/31/2022 at 11:16 AM, Soup said:

@RachelSusan thank you as always for your kind words . It just seems that after 6.5 months I should of felt some kind of shift . Did you wait for a real lift of symptoms ? Or just some Lessing? I could sit with it better if I could feel

something shifting . I try to be very quiet with myself to see if I can feel or see it . This morning I just want to run into the street screaming from the terror and frustration . Did you have family through this ? My husband is pretty worn out now which I don’t blame him but I get worried he will just be done with me some days . 
Thank you for your support it really does mean so much to me. I feel very alone 

 @Soup hugs. I can relate to feeling lonely. I am in this with you. Sending healing vibes to you 

[Soup]

@DazzlingCold thank you for sharing your journey much appreciated .

I hope things continue to go smoothly for you .

[DazzlingCold]

1 minute ago, Soup said:

@DazzlingCold thank you for sharing your journey much appreciated .

I hope things continue to go smoothly for you .

Anytime!

just read your signature and story.  I am really sorry for what you are experiencing. A good night sleep is so needed. So is feeling compassion and understanding from others.
I read on a thread here that lactium may help with stress, magnesium (I take magnesium glycinate at night and trace minerals with water during the day).
I read on your story the WD came with a vengeance after antibiotics. Just throwing thoughts out there… gut issue? Maybe probiotics may help?

theres another thread that mentions the strain of probiotics that help most with mental health. I can’t find the info but google should help. 
 

With my limited experience, I have never known a case where anti inflammatory dieta don’t help with general well being. 
 

im not a medical professional, just sharing thoughts and my experiences

 

I hope to not cause overwhelm but to provide support. I know how hard this can be.  healing hugs for you

[DazzlingCold]

Just now, DazzlingCold said:

Anytime!

just read your signature and story.  I am really sorry for what you are experiencing. A good night sleep is so needed. So is feeling compassion and understanding from others.
I read on a thread here that lactium may help with stress, magnesium (I take magnesium glycinate at night and trace minerals with water during the day).
I read on your story the WD came with a vengeance after antibiotics. Just throwing thoughts out there… gut issue? Maybe probiotics may help?

theres another thread that mentions the strain of probiotics that help most with mental health. I can’t find the info but google should help. 
 

With my limited experience, I have never known a case where anti inflammatory dieta don’t help with general well being. 
 

im not a medical professional, just sharing thoughts and my experiences

 

I hope to not cause overwhelm but to provide support. I know how hard this can be.  healing hugs for you

@Soup

[Soup]

@DazzlingColdThank you for the suggestions . It has been a nightmare since January and I just pray everyday for some type of shift . I have stayed away from most things but just introduced Metamucil which actually is a prebiotic ( I did not know this ) and seeing if that helps a bit . Once i see how I do with that I will try introducing probiotics . I eat a pretty clean high veggie diet with a bit of meat and fruit . 
Once I get these onboard I will try the magnesium . 
Take good care