TheWayBack Posted August 31, 2017 Author Share Posted August 31, 2017 Hi AliG Thank you for replying. You mention magnesium as an anti-anxiety remedy. I have tried that, but do you experience anything from it when you have an intense fight-or-flight reaction for hours? I can't calm my mind in those circumstances. It seems like it is coming from nowhere. I don't have problems with physical sensations any more since I've been practising Floating, but really really intense anxiety with no apparent cause? I'm doing mindfulness, breathing exercises, magnesium, floating, but in those circumstances nothing seems to help? Am I doing something wrong? Origin of Panic Attack and Anxiety Disorder: Overdose of Hallucinogenic HOT-7. 2013-09 20mg escitalopram. In the 4 first months 0.5-1mg/day Alprazolam for sleep & difficult situations. Tapered the first time from 20mg to 0mg in 17 months or so. Withdrawal 6-8 weeks after last dose. Didn't taper enough to low enough doses (+-1mg). 2015-01-02 Back on 10mg after one week of delayed withdrawal. Stable in 8 days. Second time tapered 2 years from 10mg to 1.6mg. Stable for half a year in range 2.5mg-1.6mg. 2017-07-28 Measurement errors: went for 1-2 weeks on 2mg. Restlessness and anxiety. Tried back to go back to 1.7mg for 5 days. Anxiety stayed. 2017-08-03 - 2017-08-20 Switched to liquid Lexapro 20mg/ml (1 drop is 1mg). Updosed to 2mg hoping to stabilize. Horrible Panic and Anxiety. Hold for 17 days hoping to stabilize. Didn't work enough for me at the time. 2017-08-20 End of holiday approaching. No more time. Decision to up dose to 5mg escitalopram. Back to the pills. Tapering alprazolam. A lot of side effects: Akathisia, more anxiety, very troubling sleep, every thought and movement gave me panic attacks. Worst time of my life. I did learn coping skills in this period. A lot. Mastering meditation, mastering floating technique and more Claire Weekes stuff... Can handle extreme anxiety pretty decent now. 2017-09-30 Going down again because holding got worse almost every day. ADVICE TO OTHER ESCITALOPRAM PEOPLE, if updose doesn't work in two weeks, go down again!!! WD is not as brutal as adverse updose effects! After every taper (while tapering pretty manageable, after couple weeks holding, akathisia and extreme anxiety came back) 2018-01-29 Got to ZERO. A hard way down for sure. And now hoping for improvements along the way... Tapering melatonin gave me dystonic reactions however.14 months after zero: Alternating akathisia, dystonic reactions and WD. Very unstable. No meds whatsoever. 31 months after zero: dystonia got worse, still very high anxiety, and many symptoms... no healing in sight. Adverse reaction destroyed me. Link to comment
AliG Posted August 31, 2017 Share Posted August 31, 2017 I found there were times where nothing really helped much and those were the most excruciating moments that I will probably never forget as it seemed like seconds and minutes were hours to just " get through" moment by moment. My time perception changed and I could feel myself hanging by a thread. It became very intense and I remember just walking and walking. I really don't know if I just had fight- or- flight cortisol or akathisia or both but it was some of the most challenging and disconcerting experiences ever. I often used any form of distraction I could just to get through. It was a time where I had to keep talking to myself almost in a chanting way, just telling myself - " you can do this" - " it's only temporary" over and over again. At the end of the day it was probably the walking that got me through ... those really bad times. The rest of the time the " tools" worked and continue to work so as to remain drug - free. I don't think you're doing anything wrong at all. In fact you are doing so much right. Just keep learning as you go ... Many SSRI's and SSNRI's over 20 years. Zoloft for 7 years followed by Effexor, Lexapro, Prozac, Cymbalta, Celexa, Pristiq, Valdoxan, Mianserin and more - on and off. No tapering. Cold turkey off Valdoxan - end of May 2014 Psych Drug - free since May 2014 . Link to comment
TheWayBack Posted August 31, 2017 Author Share Posted August 31, 2017 Ok, I will keep learning! I'm very impressed by some people here on this forum, their mental strength must be phenomenal. I hope I will be as strong as some of the people in here. Origin of Panic Attack and Anxiety Disorder: Overdose of Hallucinogenic HOT-7. 2013-09 20mg escitalopram. In the 4 first months 0.5-1mg/day Alprazolam for sleep & difficult situations. Tapered the first time from 20mg to 0mg in 17 months or so. Withdrawal 6-8 weeks after last dose. Didn't taper enough to low enough doses (+-1mg). 2015-01-02 Back on 10mg after one week of delayed withdrawal. Stable in 8 days. Second time tapered 2 years from 10mg to 1.6mg. Stable for half a year in range 2.5mg-1.6mg. 2017-07-28 Measurement errors: went for 1-2 weeks on 2mg. Restlessness and anxiety. Tried back to go back to 1.7mg for 5 days. Anxiety stayed. 2017-08-03 - 2017-08-20 Switched to liquid Lexapro 20mg/ml (1 drop is 1mg). Updosed to 2mg hoping to stabilize. Horrible Panic and Anxiety. Hold for 17 days hoping to stabilize. Didn't work enough for me at the time. 2017-08-20 End of holiday approaching. No more time. Decision to up dose to 5mg escitalopram. Back to the pills. Tapering alprazolam. A lot of side effects: Akathisia, more anxiety, very troubling sleep, every thought and movement gave me panic attacks. Worst time of my life. I did learn coping skills in this period. A lot. Mastering meditation, mastering floating technique and more Claire Weekes stuff... Can handle extreme anxiety pretty decent now. 2017-09-30 Going down again because holding got worse almost every day. ADVICE TO OTHER ESCITALOPRAM PEOPLE, if updose doesn't work in two weeks, go down again!!! WD is not as brutal as adverse updose effects! After every taper (while tapering pretty manageable, after couple weeks holding, akathisia and extreme anxiety came back) 2018-01-29 Got to ZERO. A hard way down for sure. And now hoping for improvements along the way... Tapering melatonin gave me dystonic reactions however.14 months after zero: Alternating akathisia, dystonic reactions and WD. Very unstable. No meds whatsoever. 31 months after zero: dystonia got worse, still very high anxiety, and many symptoms... no healing in sight. Adverse reaction destroyed me. Link to comment
TheWayBack Posted September 2, 2017 Author Share Posted September 2, 2017 Ok, Friday was a good day all things considered. I woke up with a lot less anxiety and slept for 7 hours! WOW! The anxiety never left completely during the day but it was not as prominent like all the other days. Work went OK for the first time. Evening was quite pleasant. Took a 100mg L-Theanine capsule in the evening because it has helped me somewhat a few years back. Couldn't say it did very much this time. Unfortunately today was not as good. Lots of anxiety in the morning, not many hours of sleep, and not stable during the day. The intense anxiety subsided a bit before noon. Very uncertain of my feelings during the day. It felt like it could flip in all directions at any time. Did some productive things around the house and went shopping with my wife. Bought L-Theanine and Taurine to try out in the coming days. But not today... Tomorrow is day 14 of the updose. (5mg escitalopram) Origin of Panic Attack and Anxiety Disorder: Overdose of Hallucinogenic HOT-7. 2013-09 20mg escitalopram. In the 4 first months 0.5-1mg/day Alprazolam for sleep & difficult situations. Tapered the first time from 20mg to 0mg in 17 months or so. Withdrawal 6-8 weeks after last dose. Didn't taper enough to low enough doses (+-1mg). 2015-01-02 Back on 10mg after one week of delayed withdrawal. Stable in 8 days. Second time tapered 2 years from 10mg to 1.6mg. Stable for half a year in range 2.5mg-1.6mg. 2017-07-28 Measurement errors: went for 1-2 weeks on 2mg. Restlessness and anxiety. Tried back to go back to 1.7mg for 5 days. Anxiety stayed. 2017-08-03 - 2017-08-20 Switched to liquid Lexapro 20mg/ml (1 drop is 1mg). Updosed to 2mg hoping to stabilize. Horrible Panic and Anxiety. Hold for 17 days hoping to stabilize. Didn't work enough for me at the time. 2017-08-20 End of holiday approaching. No more time. Decision to up dose to 5mg escitalopram. Back to the pills. Tapering alprazolam. A lot of side effects: Akathisia, more anxiety, very troubling sleep, every thought and movement gave me panic attacks. Worst time of my life. I did learn coping skills in this period. A lot. Mastering meditation, mastering floating technique and more Claire Weekes stuff... Can handle extreme anxiety pretty decent now. 2017-09-30 Going down again because holding got worse almost every day. ADVICE TO OTHER ESCITALOPRAM PEOPLE, if updose doesn't work in two weeks, go down again!!! WD is not as brutal as adverse updose effects! After every taper (while tapering pretty manageable, after couple weeks holding, akathisia and extreme anxiety came back) 2018-01-29 Got to ZERO. A hard way down for sure. And now hoping for improvements along the way... Tapering melatonin gave me dystonic reactions however.14 months after zero: Alternating akathisia, dystonic reactions and WD. Very unstable. No meds whatsoever. 31 months after zero: dystonia got worse, still very high anxiety, and many symptoms... no healing in sight. Adverse reaction destroyed me. Link to comment
Moderator Emeritus baroquep Posted September 3, 2017 Moderator Emeritus Share Posted September 3, 2017 Hi TheWayBack, Sounds like you are starting to get a little relief from the anxiety, even if only temporarily. Very good sign that you were able to get 7 hours of sleep. Just wanted to warn you that some people end up having a bad reaction when adding supplements when their central nervous system is already sensitized by withdrawal. I’d be careful adding in supplements and would start with a very small dose to make sure you don’t have a reaction, and then go up in dose if you find a positive benefit. It is also recommended to try only one supplement at a time to ensure you don’t have a reaction, otherwise you won’t know which one is causing the problem. Found that I had to eliminate all of the supplements that I was taking as the combination seemed to aggravate my central nervous system and the only ones that I can take now are Omega 3, magnesium and was able to add iron about six months later after I’d stabilized. I found that the anxiety I experienced at the beginning had no rhyme or reason, it would sometimes be present when I first woke up and the feeling of doom lasted me for quite a number of months. Initially I couldn’t understand why I was dealing with so much anxiety considering I wasn’t under any more stress than usual, but have since learned that this is a very common withdrawal symptom and to be expected. The best way to manage it is to learning non-drug techniques to help you cope through the discomfort. Now that my central nervous system has stabilized, I rarely have to deal with unexplained anxiety and that is a relief. Glad to hear that you are out and about with your wife and being productive. Having a positive, can do attitude will pay off in spades. Thought you might find the links below helpful and hope you continue to trend forward. Sensitivity to medications and supplements Non-drug techniques to cope with emotional symptoms Waking with panic or anxiety -- managing cortisol spikes Fear, terror, panic, and anxiety Best, BaroqueP Current Prescription Drugs for Hypothyroidism: Synthroid 100mcg / Cytomel 5mcg (15 years Pristiq/Effexor)Tapering Schedule September 15, 2016 - switched from Pristiq 50mg to Effexor XR 75mg; November 10, 2016 - reduced to 67.5 Effexor XR December 9, 2016 - reduced 60.75 January 5, 2017 - reduced 54.67 January 30, 2017 - reduced to 49.0 February 20, 2017 - reduced to 44.0 May 20, 2017 - reduced to 40.25 (holding for additional month due to late onset of withdrawal symptoms after this taper) July 17, 2017 - reduced to 38.24 August 15, 2017 - reduced to 37.5 (50% of my original dose) October 15, 2017 - reduced to 35.6 November 12, 2017 - reduced to 33.8 December 15, 2017 - up-dose to 35.6 December 28, 2017 - up-dose to 37.5 Link to comment
JS11 Posted September 3, 2017 Share Posted September 3, 2017 On 8/31/2017 at 10:46 AM, AliG said: I found there were times where nothing really helped much and those were the most excruciating moments that I will probably never forget as it seemed like seconds and minutes were hours to just " get through" moment by moment. My time perception changed and I could feel myself hanging by a thread. It became very intense and I remember just walking and walking. I really don't know if I just had fight- or- flight cortisol or akathisia or both but it was some of the most challenging and disconcerting experiences ever. I often used any form of distraction I could just to get through. It was a time where I had to keep talking to myself almost in a chanting way, just telling myself - " you can do this" - " it's only temporary" over and over again. At the end of the day it was probably the walking that got me through ... those really bad times. The rest of the time the " tools" worked and continue to work so as to remain drug - free. I don't think you're doing anything wrong at all. In fact you are doing so much right. Just keep learning as you go ... Hello AliG, TheWayBack and all, I am new and learning as well. Your post caught my eye as I am a Lexapro/Escitalopram user as well. AlliG thank you for your words and strength. They are of great comfort. It is for me most difficult when in the thick of this kind of feeling. I know it can be conquered but it is always helpful to see someone who has. Thanks 26 years of Anti-depressants (probably 32, lost track, alone and/in combination Vyvanse 30mg Discontinued Feb. 22, 2013 Topamax 25-75mg Feb 23, 2013--Feb 2016 0.0 mg Discontinued Lamotrigine 25-50mg Jan 15, 2016-Adverse Reaction Discontinued Feb 2, 2016 T3 25-50mcg Feb.11, 2016 Discontinued April 23, 2016 Escitalopram 20mg-omg fast taper Nov. 2015-Jan.7, 2016 Crash! Reinstated 20mg Taper Jan 14, 2016 0.0mg Sept 2016 Reinstated Feb.21, 2017 Escitalopram 5mg Dosage Adjustments Escitalopram to 2.5mg June 28-30; Increased to 3.75mg July 1-28, 2017 July 29-Aug 4 10mg, alternated between 5 and 10mg next couple days. Aug 9, 7.25mg; Aug 10-14 10mg; Aug 15-25 7.25mg, August 25-29, 10mg. Levofloxacin (January 2017 2 doses) (Adverse Reaction: Neurotoxcity; 3 daysE.R.$30k+tests) Adderall 25mgXR (start April 23, 2013) (Nov.2016 20mg) (Dec.2016 15mg) (Feb. 5, 2016 10mg) (June 15, 2017) 5mg XR Crossover July 7 to Adderall I.M 5mg Discontinued Reinstated Adderall 5mgXR July 28th Minipress 1mg began July 20-23, 2mg July 24 last dose Discontinued (Prescribed to assist with side-effects of updose of Escitalopram) WellbutrinXR 150 mg July 24, 2017 Discontinued; Hydroxyline 25-200 mg daily, began July 20, Discontnued; (Prescribed for side-effects-sensitized; W/D)Gababentin 100mg August 28, 8/29: 00mg, 8/30/17 100mg discontinued (Prescribed for side-effects of sensitized, W//D)Zolipidem PRN (2.5mg.) Reinstated May 15, 2017 after18m+ discontinuation Between May and Aug18-Aug 30, 2017 Discontinued Aug. 30. 2017 Escitalopram 8.2mg, Sept. 6 Ecitalopram (7.25 tablet) September 28 Escitalopram (7 mg tablet) Omega 3's , October 1 Escitalopram (6.25...I think) November 1, Escitalopram (approx. 5.75mg) December 1 (5mg) Missed .75 for few days, lowered dose. W/D ramped up Dec.23; Escitalopram 4mg tab. .75ml liquid March 5. Adderall XR 5mg, Synthroid 112mcg March 23 Escitalopram 4mg tab .50ml liquid.April 23 Escotalopram 4mgtab .25ml liquid Escitalopram dropping .25 every 30 days; July 23, 2018 Escitalopram 3.50mg, Adderall XR 5mg, Synthroid 112mcg July 2021: Took last dose of Escitalopram .02mg. Do dah! Current: Synthroid/Generic 100mcg decreased November, 2018 (TSH has changed 5 times since August 30, 2018 resulting in both Hyper and hypothyroid symptoms.) November 1, 2018, increased Adderall XR to 10mg to combat brain fog after decrease in Synthroid. Link to comment
TheWayBack Posted September 4, 2017 Author Share Posted September 4, 2017 Yesterday was not a good day. Anxiety in the morning was a bit less, but I'm back to changing moods. The anxiety is always present. I slept bad for two nights in a row again. This morning I woke again at 4.30am, slightly anxious. Couldn't get back to sleep. The escitalopram dose a lot worse. Lots of anxiety, verry fuzzy, can't focus, lot of strange headaches in the front of the head. I read 'The antidepressant solution' by Joseph Glenmullen yesterday and I am thinking that I am taking too much escitalopram. I'm thinking I've been sensitized to escitalopram. Everything went so good at 1.6mg for months and now I'm feeling so bad and anxious... Headaches, weights loss... Almost every time I take my pill, things tend to get worse every day. That was the case with the updose to 2mg and now again at 5mg. Never does the pill in the morning make things better. It was only a little beneficial when I had panic attacks at 2mg, they couldn't break completely. The rest of the days it always brought me a lot of bad hours. I can finally go to the psychiatrist wednesday and I'm going to see what his views are on the matter. I had to wait 3 weeks to get an appointment, hope that it pays off. If I would try to stop with escitalopram, or at least go down to 1.6mg, how should one go about it? I've been stable for months at 1.6mg, went for three weeks to 2mg, and now 2 weeks at 5mg. Things never went much better. Is a fast taper in order, how fast would one ought to go? Any suggestions from the mods? Origin of Panic Attack and Anxiety Disorder: Overdose of Hallucinogenic HOT-7. 2013-09 20mg escitalopram. In the 4 first months 0.5-1mg/day Alprazolam for sleep & difficult situations. Tapered the first time from 20mg to 0mg in 17 months or so. Withdrawal 6-8 weeks after last dose. Didn't taper enough to low enough doses (+-1mg). 2015-01-02 Back on 10mg after one week of delayed withdrawal. Stable in 8 days. Second time tapered 2 years from 10mg to 1.6mg. Stable for half a year in range 2.5mg-1.6mg. 2017-07-28 Measurement errors: went for 1-2 weeks on 2mg. Restlessness and anxiety. Tried back to go back to 1.7mg for 5 days. Anxiety stayed. 2017-08-03 - 2017-08-20 Switched to liquid Lexapro 20mg/ml (1 drop is 1mg). Updosed to 2mg hoping to stabilize. Horrible Panic and Anxiety. Hold for 17 days hoping to stabilize. Didn't work enough for me at the time. 2017-08-20 End of holiday approaching. No more time. Decision to up dose to 5mg escitalopram. Back to the pills. Tapering alprazolam. A lot of side effects: Akathisia, more anxiety, very troubling sleep, every thought and movement gave me panic attacks. Worst time of my life. I did learn coping skills in this period. A lot. Mastering meditation, mastering floating technique and more Claire Weekes stuff... Can handle extreme anxiety pretty decent now. 2017-09-30 Going down again because holding got worse almost every day. ADVICE TO OTHER ESCITALOPRAM PEOPLE, if updose doesn't work in two weeks, go down again!!! WD is not as brutal as adverse updose effects! After every taper (while tapering pretty manageable, after couple weeks holding, akathisia and extreme anxiety came back) 2018-01-29 Got to ZERO. A hard way down for sure. And now hoping for improvements along the way... Tapering melatonin gave me dystonic reactions however.14 months after zero: Alternating akathisia, dystonic reactions and WD. Very unstable. No meds whatsoever. 31 months after zero: dystonia got worse, still very high anxiety, and many symptoms... no healing in sight. Adverse reaction destroyed me. Link to comment
Moderator Emeritus ChessieCat Posted September 4, 2017 Moderator Emeritus Share Posted September 4, 2017 I suggest you check out these topics before you see you psychiatrist How do you talk to a doctor about tapering and withdrawal? What should I expect from my doctor about withdrawal symptoms? I'll ask the other mods for their thoughts. * NO LONGER ACTIVE on SA * MISSION ACCOMPLISHED: (6 year taper) 0mg Pristiq on 13th November 2021 ADs since ~1992: 25+ years - 1 unknown, Prozac (muscle weakness), Zoloft; citalopram (pooped out) CTed (very sick for 2.5 wks a few months after); Pristiq: 50mg 2012, 100mg beg 2013 (Serotonin Toxicity) Tapering from Oct 2015 - 13 Nov 2021 LAST DOSE 0.0025mg Post 0 updates start here My tapering program My Intro (goes to tapering graph) VIDEO: Antidepressant Withdrawal Syndrome and its Management Link to comment
Moderator Emeritus mammaP Posted September 4, 2017 Moderator Emeritus Share Posted September 4, 2017 You have had some better days so it looks like you are stabilising. That is how it goes, one step forward 2 steps back but eventually you will catch up and the steps will all be in the right direction. It's hard to hang on sometimes but I always say that when we feel we HAVE to do SOMETHING, they are usually the times we really need to do NOTHING and just let our bodies do what they are good at and rebalance themselves. It will not last forever, this is temporary and time marches on regardless. The clock will keep ticking and your body will keep working to stabilise. Hang in there! **I am not a medical professional, if in doubt please consult a doctor with withdrawal knowledge. Different drugs occasionally (mostly benzos) 1976 - 1981 (no problem) 1993 - 2002 in and out of hospital. every type of drug + ECT. Staring with seroxat 2002 effexor. Tapered March 2012 to March 2013, ending with 5 beads. Withdrawal April 2013 . Reinstated 5 beads reduced to 4 beads May 2013 Restarted taper Nov 2013 OFF EFFEXOR Feb 2015 Tapered atenolol and omeprazole Dec 2013 - May 2014 Tapering tramadol, Feb 2015 100mg , March 2015 50mg July 2017 30mg. May 15 2018 25mg Taking fish oil, magnesium, B12, folic acid, bilberry eyebright for eye pressure. My story http://survivingantidepressants.org/index.php?/topic/4199-hello-mammap-checking-in/page-33 Lesson learned, slow down taper at lower doses. Taper no more than 10% of CURRENT dose if possible Link to comment
TheWayBack Posted September 4, 2017 Author Share Posted September 4, 2017 I'll try to hang in there, but I'm not better than I was three weeks ago. I think I can cope a little better thanks to floating and mindfulness. That's all. I'm experiencing anger and agitation today. Never happened before. Symptoms are becoming serious :-( Sorry for the ranting, but this is the only place I can tell these things. Origin of Panic Attack and Anxiety Disorder: Overdose of Hallucinogenic HOT-7. 2013-09 20mg escitalopram. In the 4 first months 0.5-1mg/day Alprazolam for sleep & difficult situations. Tapered the first time from 20mg to 0mg in 17 months or so. Withdrawal 6-8 weeks after last dose. Didn't taper enough to low enough doses (+-1mg). 2015-01-02 Back on 10mg after one week of delayed withdrawal. Stable in 8 days. Second time tapered 2 years from 10mg to 1.6mg. Stable for half a year in range 2.5mg-1.6mg. 2017-07-28 Measurement errors: went for 1-2 weeks on 2mg. Restlessness and anxiety. Tried back to go back to 1.7mg for 5 days. Anxiety stayed. 2017-08-03 - 2017-08-20 Switched to liquid Lexapro 20mg/ml (1 drop is 1mg). Updosed to 2mg hoping to stabilize. Horrible Panic and Anxiety. Hold for 17 days hoping to stabilize. Didn't work enough for me at the time. 2017-08-20 End of holiday approaching. No more time. Decision to up dose to 5mg escitalopram. Back to the pills. Tapering alprazolam. A lot of side effects: Akathisia, more anxiety, very troubling sleep, every thought and movement gave me panic attacks. Worst time of my life. I did learn coping skills in this period. A lot. Mastering meditation, mastering floating technique and more Claire Weekes stuff... Can handle extreme anxiety pretty decent now. 2017-09-30 Going down again because holding got worse almost every day. ADVICE TO OTHER ESCITALOPRAM PEOPLE, if updose doesn't work in two weeks, go down again!!! WD is not as brutal as adverse updose effects! After every taper (while tapering pretty manageable, after couple weeks holding, akathisia and extreme anxiety came back) 2018-01-29 Got to ZERO. A hard way down for sure. And now hoping for improvements along the way... Tapering melatonin gave me dystonic reactions however.14 months after zero: Alternating akathisia, dystonic reactions and WD. Very unstable. No meds whatsoever. 31 months after zero: dystonia got worse, still very high anxiety, and many symptoms... no healing in sight. Adverse reaction destroyed me. Link to comment
TheWayBack Posted September 6, 2017 Author Share Posted September 6, 2017 Yesterday was an OK day, got less brainfog, less anxiety, a bit more anxiety in the afternoon and early evening, but manageable. Work went OK. Today is beginning more clearheaded, but more anxiety than other mornings. Origin of Panic Attack and Anxiety Disorder: Overdose of Hallucinogenic HOT-7. 2013-09 20mg escitalopram. In the 4 first months 0.5-1mg/day Alprazolam for sleep & difficult situations. Tapered the first time from 20mg to 0mg in 17 months or so. Withdrawal 6-8 weeks after last dose. Didn't taper enough to low enough doses (+-1mg). 2015-01-02 Back on 10mg after one week of delayed withdrawal. Stable in 8 days. Second time tapered 2 years from 10mg to 1.6mg. Stable for half a year in range 2.5mg-1.6mg. 2017-07-28 Measurement errors: went for 1-2 weeks on 2mg. Restlessness and anxiety. Tried back to go back to 1.7mg for 5 days. Anxiety stayed. 2017-08-03 - 2017-08-20 Switched to liquid Lexapro 20mg/ml (1 drop is 1mg). Updosed to 2mg hoping to stabilize. Horrible Panic and Anxiety. Hold for 17 days hoping to stabilize. Didn't work enough for me at the time. 2017-08-20 End of holiday approaching. No more time. Decision to up dose to 5mg escitalopram. Back to the pills. Tapering alprazolam. A lot of side effects: Akathisia, more anxiety, very troubling sleep, every thought and movement gave me panic attacks. Worst time of my life. I did learn coping skills in this period. A lot. Mastering meditation, mastering floating technique and more Claire Weekes stuff... Can handle extreme anxiety pretty decent now. 2017-09-30 Going down again because holding got worse almost every day. ADVICE TO OTHER ESCITALOPRAM PEOPLE, if updose doesn't work in two weeks, go down again!!! WD is not as brutal as adverse updose effects! After every taper (while tapering pretty manageable, after couple weeks holding, akathisia and extreme anxiety came back) 2018-01-29 Got to ZERO. A hard way down for sure. And now hoping for improvements along the way... Tapering melatonin gave me dystonic reactions however.14 months after zero: Alternating akathisia, dystonic reactions and WD. Very unstable. No meds whatsoever. 31 months after zero: dystonia got worse, still very high anxiety, and many symptoms... no healing in sight. Adverse reaction destroyed me. Link to comment
TheWayBack Posted September 6, 2017 Author Share Posted September 6, 2017 Ok, just got back from the psychiatrist. He has three options for me: Change to a low dose of Paxil to combat the anxiety, because it can be the Lexapro that gives me the anxiety, with a tiny bit of Abilify and Solian the give me peace of mind Taper down back to 1.5mg Lexapro in steps of 0.5mg, to see if it helps. He said 0.5mg/week, I said I'd rather do it 0.5mg/3 weeks, and he said OK. Maybe faster is better now, since I'm only two weeks @5mg? Hold @5mg was also OK for him and see what the following weeks are, but that was my proposition I didn't decide yet what to do. Could it be that the 5mg is just too much for me now and I would be better off lower? Is a low dose of Paxil worthwhile? I don't know if this would do any good... Or should I hold @5mg now, and will the anxiety diminish in time? So many questions, so little answers ... Origin of Panic Attack and Anxiety Disorder: Overdose of Hallucinogenic HOT-7. 2013-09 20mg escitalopram. In the 4 first months 0.5-1mg/day Alprazolam for sleep & difficult situations. Tapered the first time from 20mg to 0mg in 17 months or so. Withdrawal 6-8 weeks after last dose. Didn't taper enough to low enough doses (+-1mg). 2015-01-02 Back on 10mg after one week of delayed withdrawal. Stable in 8 days. Second time tapered 2 years from 10mg to 1.6mg. Stable for half a year in range 2.5mg-1.6mg. 2017-07-28 Measurement errors: went for 1-2 weeks on 2mg. Restlessness and anxiety. Tried back to go back to 1.7mg for 5 days. Anxiety stayed. 2017-08-03 - 2017-08-20 Switched to liquid Lexapro 20mg/ml (1 drop is 1mg). Updosed to 2mg hoping to stabilize. Horrible Panic and Anxiety. Hold for 17 days hoping to stabilize. Didn't work enough for me at the time. 2017-08-20 End of holiday approaching. No more time. Decision to up dose to 5mg escitalopram. Back to the pills. Tapering alprazolam. A lot of side effects: Akathisia, more anxiety, very troubling sleep, every thought and movement gave me panic attacks. Worst time of my life. I did learn coping skills in this period. A lot. Mastering meditation, mastering floating technique and more Claire Weekes stuff... Can handle extreme anxiety pretty decent now. 2017-09-30 Going down again because holding got worse almost every day. ADVICE TO OTHER ESCITALOPRAM PEOPLE, if updose doesn't work in two weeks, go down again!!! WD is not as brutal as adverse updose effects! After every taper (while tapering pretty manageable, after couple weeks holding, akathisia and extreme anxiety came back) 2018-01-29 Got to ZERO. A hard way down for sure. And now hoping for improvements along the way... Tapering melatonin gave me dystonic reactions however.14 months after zero: Alternating akathisia, dystonic reactions and WD. Very unstable. No meds whatsoever. 31 months after zero: dystonia got worse, still very high anxiety, and many symptoms... no healing in sight. Adverse reaction destroyed me. Link to comment
Moderator Emeritus baroquep Posted September 6, 2017 Moderator Emeritus Share Posted September 6, 2017 (edited) Hi there, am glad to hear that your psychiatrist is working with you. Unfortunately too many well-meaning doctors suggest switching or adding another drug and in almost all of the cases I have seen, it has made things worse and it is next to impossible for the person to stabilize. As well! If you have a reaction to an additional drug, because you are already on shaky ground wth Lexapro, you will have no way to determine whether or not the effects are from Lexapro, Paxil (has its own difficulties), Abilify or Solian and I'm not sure why on earth he'd want to add an anti-psychotic to the mix. What you are currently experiencing is very typical when trying to stabilize and it doesn't help when we switch things around. It makes it much harder for the central nervous system to cope and all the more difficult to stabilize. I learned earlier on, through the ups and downs of trying to stabilize, that the fewer changes you make the better. There were days that I thought I'd never get through but I persevered and it paid off. I know how difficult it can be, we want to try something to make us feel better, and we pray that we can find the magic pill that will take the anxiety away. I've been there, I understand, but believe me when I say, it doesn't exist. You've gone from 1.7 to 2 and then to 5mg in a very short period of time and your CNS is having a hard time recalibrating. If if it were me, I would decide whether I can weather the storm and fight through the discomfort using non-drug methods of managing my symptoms or if you can't possibly manage (and only you can make this determination, I would reduce a very tiny amount, say between 0.25 and 0.50mg (I would try 0.25 first) and then be prepared to hold for a very long time. If after a couple of weeks, you still don't think you are heading in the right direction, we can revisit then. These drugs are very very strong, Ieven in tiny amounts (I can't emphasis this enough) and the fewer changes and the slower you go the better it will be for your CNS to try and stabilize. Best, BaroqueP Edited September 6, 2017 by baroquep Current Prescription Drugs for Hypothyroidism: Synthroid 100mcg / Cytomel 5mcg (15 years Pristiq/Effexor)Tapering Schedule September 15, 2016 - switched from Pristiq 50mg to Effexor XR 75mg; November 10, 2016 - reduced to 67.5 Effexor XR December 9, 2016 - reduced 60.75 January 5, 2017 - reduced 54.67 January 30, 2017 - reduced to 49.0 February 20, 2017 - reduced to 44.0 May 20, 2017 - reduced to 40.25 (holding for additional month due to late onset of withdrawal symptoms after this taper) July 17, 2017 - reduced to 38.24 August 15, 2017 - reduced to 37.5 (50% of my original dose) October 15, 2017 - reduced to 35.6 November 12, 2017 - reduced to 33.8 December 15, 2017 - up-dose to 35.6 December 28, 2017 - up-dose to 37.5 Link to comment
TheWayBack Posted September 6, 2017 Author Share Posted September 6, 2017 Thank you so much for your reply! Well, I think I'd better hold then for a few weeks. MammaP said the same before. It's just that the anxiety seems to be coming from the Lexapro (it becomes worse after taking the pill), and that makes it so much harder to think that it will stabilize. The first recommendation of the doctor was to take 3 pills, and that gave me the shivers... Why on earth would he say that if I was stable and happy for so long on such a low dose? Well I think I can weather the storm some more. I had a couple of reasonable days, if it keeps going in this direction holding will be much easier. Every time I get a very bad day, I always think (like mammaP said) that I should do something.... If the hypersensitivity and anxiety would diminish some more that would be great. In retrospect (which is useless off course), I should have kept my dose @ 1.6mg and never should have gone to 2mg or 5mg. Maybe things wouldn't be so bad now. If I only knew then what I know now... Again, thank you all for your time. Love Origin of Panic Attack and Anxiety Disorder: Overdose of Hallucinogenic HOT-7. 2013-09 20mg escitalopram. In the 4 first months 0.5-1mg/day Alprazolam for sleep & difficult situations. Tapered the first time from 20mg to 0mg in 17 months or so. Withdrawal 6-8 weeks after last dose. Didn't taper enough to low enough doses (+-1mg). 2015-01-02 Back on 10mg after one week of delayed withdrawal. Stable in 8 days. Second time tapered 2 years from 10mg to 1.6mg. Stable for half a year in range 2.5mg-1.6mg. 2017-07-28 Measurement errors: went for 1-2 weeks on 2mg. Restlessness and anxiety. Tried back to go back to 1.7mg for 5 days. Anxiety stayed. 2017-08-03 - 2017-08-20 Switched to liquid Lexapro 20mg/ml (1 drop is 1mg). Updosed to 2mg hoping to stabilize. Horrible Panic and Anxiety. Hold for 17 days hoping to stabilize. Didn't work enough for me at the time. 2017-08-20 End of holiday approaching. No more time. Decision to up dose to 5mg escitalopram. Back to the pills. Tapering alprazolam. A lot of side effects: Akathisia, more anxiety, very troubling sleep, every thought and movement gave me panic attacks. Worst time of my life. I did learn coping skills in this period. A lot. Mastering meditation, mastering floating technique and more Claire Weekes stuff... Can handle extreme anxiety pretty decent now. 2017-09-30 Going down again because holding got worse almost every day. ADVICE TO OTHER ESCITALOPRAM PEOPLE, if updose doesn't work in two weeks, go down again!!! WD is not as brutal as adverse updose effects! After every taper (while tapering pretty manageable, after couple weeks holding, akathisia and extreme anxiety came back) 2018-01-29 Got to ZERO. A hard way down for sure. And now hoping for improvements along the way... Tapering melatonin gave me dystonic reactions however.14 months after zero: Alternating akathisia, dystonic reactions and WD. Very unstable. No meds whatsoever. 31 months after zero: dystonia got worse, still very high anxiety, and many symptoms... no healing in sight. Adverse reaction destroyed me. Link to comment
LexAnger Posted September 7, 2017 Share Posted September 7, 2017 Hi TWB, I am so sorry you are caught in this too!. fingers crossed for you to make a deal with the 5mg. a few members were hit by Lexapro updose with me as the worst probably. you may want to check out their intro pages: Drug free Sep. 23 2017 2009 Mar.: lexapro 10mg for headache for 2 weeks. 2009-2012: on and off 1/4 to 1/3 of 10mg 2012 June--2013 Jan,: 1/4-1/3 of 10mg generic, bad jaw pain 2013 Jan-Mar: 10 mg generic. severe jaw and head pain; 2013 Mar--Aug. started tapering (liquid ever since) from 10 to 5 (one step) then gradually down to 2.25 mg by July. first ever panic attack, severe head/jaw pain 2013 Aug.: back to 2.75 mg; Nov: back to Brand Lex. 2.75mg -- 3mg, 2014 June: stopped PPI, head pressure/numbness. up-dosed 4.5mg, severe reaction mental symptoms added on 2014 Aug--2015 Aug: Micro taper down to 3.2mg, .025mg (<1%) cut holding 2-3 weeks. 2015 Aug 15th, Accidental one dose of 4.2mg. worsening brain non-functional, swollen head, body, coma like, DR 2016 Feb., started dosing 10am through 11 pm everyday 2/13--3.2mg, 3/15-- 2.9mg, 4/19-- 2.6mg, 6/26--2.2mg, 7/22 --1.9mg, 8/16--1.8mg，8/31--1.7m g, 9/13--1.6mg, 9/27--1.5mg, 10/8--1.4mg, 10/14--1.3mg， 11/1--1.2mg, 11/29--1.1mg, 12/12--1mg, 12/22--0.9mg 2017: 1/7--0.8mg, 1/15--0.7mg, 1/17--0.6mg, 1/20--0.52, 1/21--0.4mg, 1/22--0.26, 1/23--0.2, 2/13--0.13mg, 2/20--0.06mg, 3/18--0.13mg, 6/1--0.12mg, 7/6--0.1mg, 7/14--0.08mg, 8/17--0.04mg, 8/20--0.03mg, 8/28--0.02mg, 9/6--0.0205mg, 9/8--0.02mg, 9/17--0.015mg, 9/20--0.01mg, 9/21--0.0048mg, 9/22--0.0001mg, Link to comment
Moderator Emeritus baroquep Posted September 7, 2017 Moderator Emeritus Share Posted September 7, 2017 Hi TheWayBack, These might help too: How long to stabilize after reinstating or updosing. Other links that many find helpful to understand the withdrawal CNS response: How your brain responds to psychiatric drugs - aka "Brain remodeling" Youtube video, 4 minutes: Healing from antidepressants Current Prescription Drugs for Hypothyroidism: Synthroid 100mcg / Cytomel 5mcg (15 years Pristiq/Effexor)Tapering Schedule September 15, 2016 - switched from Pristiq 50mg to Effexor XR 75mg; November 10, 2016 - reduced to 67.5 Effexor XR December 9, 2016 - reduced 60.75 January 5, 2017 - reduced 54.67 January 30, 2017 - reduced to 49.0 February 20, 2017 - reduced to 44.0 May 20, 2017 - reduced to 40.25 (holding for additional month due to late onset of withdrawal symptoms after this taper) July 17, 2017 - reduced to 38.24 August 15, 2017 - reduced to 37.5 (50% of my original dose) October 15, 2017 - reduced to 35.6 November 12, 2017 - reduced to 33.8 December 15, 2017 - up-dose to 35.6 December 28, 2017 - up-dose to 37.5 Link to comment
TheWayBack Posted September 7, 2017 Author Share Posted September 7, 2017 Thank you for the information! and GOODmorning everybody I had a pleasant surprise this morning. Anxiety was way WAY less than usual. A little bit of restlessness, but also a small sense of happiness and relief. 19 days after updose to 5mg. I guess it is normal to be afraid that it will get worse the coming days? So while I'm not saying all is well, this hasn't happened to me from the start of the problems, more than a month ago. 19 days since updose to 5mg, one morning without crippling anxiety :-) Well technically it did happen a few weeks ago, but the evening before was loaded with 1mg alprazolam XR. So that doesn't count. Waking at 4.30u still happens though. Have been taking: every day 2 fishoil capsules, 400mg magnesium and lots of Lemon-balm tea in the evening. To sleep, I take one melatonin 1.9mg. Medication-wise: 5mg escitalopram (Sypralexa in Belgium, no generic), nothing else. Origin of Panic Attack and Anxiety Disorder: Overdose of Hallucinogenic HOT-7. 2013-09 20mg escitalopram. In the 4 first months 0.5-1mg/day Alprazolam for sleep & difficult situations. Tapered the first time from 20mg to 0mg in 17 months or so. Withdrawal 6-8 weeks after last dose. Didn't taper enough to low enough doses (+-1mg). 2015-01-02 Back on 10mg after one week of delayed withdrawal. Stable in 8 days. Second time tapered 2 years from 10mg to 1.6mg. Stable for half a year in range 2.5mg-1.6mg. 2017-07-28 Measurement errors: went for 1-2 weeks on 2mg. Restlessness and anxiety. Tried back to go back to 1.7mg for 5 days. Anxiety stayed. 2017-08-03 - 2017-08-20 Switched to liquid Lexapro 20mg/ml (1 drop is 1mg). Updosed to 2mg hoping to stabilize. Horrible Panic and Anxiety. Hold for 17 days hoping to stabilize. Didn't work enough for me at the time. 2017-08-20 End of holiday approaching. No more time. Decision to up dose to 5mg escitalopram. Back to the pills. Tapering alprazolam. A lot of side effects: Akathisia, more anxiety, very troubling sleep, every thought and movement gave me panic attacks. Worst time of my life. I did learn coping skills in this period. A lot. Mastering meditation, mastering floating technique and more Claire Weekes stuff... Can handle extreme anxiety pretty decent now. 2017-09-30 Going down again because holding got worse almost every day. ADVICE TO OTHER ESCITALOPRAM PEOPLE, if updose doesn't work in two weeks, go down again!!! WD is not as brutal as adverse updose effects! After every taper (while tapering pretty manageable, after couple weeks holding, akathisia and extreme anxiety came back) 2018-01-29 Got to ZERO. A hard way down for sure. And now hoping for improvements along the way... Tapering melatonin gave me dystonic reactions however.14 months after zero: Alternating akathisia, dystonic reactions and WD. Very unstable. No meds whatsoever. 31 months after zero: dystonia got worse, still very high anxiety, and many symptoms... no healing in sight. Adverse reaction destroyed me. Link to comment
TheWayBack Posted September 8, 2017 Author Share Posted September 8, 2017 Day 19 Roundup: Pretty decent morning, in the afternoon I visited a very good friend of me, and went to see my parents. Everything was almost pleasant. The evening was wonderful. I felt completely normal for the first time in a long time. What a nice feeling :-) Day 20: This morning was not as good as yesterday, but better than any day of the past week. The anxiety was present again in the morning, but very manageable. My hopes are up again. I'll keep holding. Origin of Panic Attack and Anxiety Disorder: Overdose of Hallucinogenic HOT-7. 2013-09 20mg escitalopram. In the 4 first months 0.5-1mg/day Alprazolam for sleep & difficult situations. Tapered the first time from 20mg to 0mg in 17 months or so. Withdrawal 6-8 weeks after last dose. Didn't taper enough to low enough doses (+-1mg). 2015-01-02 Back on 10mg after one week of delayed withdrawal. Stable in 8 days. Second time tapered 2 years from 10mg to 1.6mg. Stable for half a year in range 2.5mg-1.6mg. 2017-07-28 Measurement errors: went for 1-2 weeks on 2mg. Restlessness and anxiety. Tried back to go back to 1.7mg for 5 days. Anxiety stayed. 2017-08-03 - 2017-08-20 Switched to liquid Lexapro 20mg/ml (1 drop is 1mg). Updosed to 2mg hoping to stabilize. Horrible Panic and Anxiety. Hold for 17 days hoping to stabilize. Didn't work enough for me at the time. 2017-08-20 End of holiday approaching. No more time. Decision to up dose to 5mg escitalopram. Back to the pills. Tapering alprazolam. A lot of side effects: Akathisia, more anxiety, very troubling sleep, every thought and movement gave me panic attacks. Worst time of my life. I did learn coping skills in this period. A lot. Mastering meditation, mastering floating technique and more Claire Weekes stuff... Can handle extreme anxiety pretty decent now. 2017-09-30 Going down again because holding got worse almost every day. ADVICE TO OTHER ESCITALOPRAM PEOPLE, if updose doesn't work in two weeks, go down again!!! WD is not as brutal as adverse updose effects! After every taper (while tapering pretty manageable, after couple weeks holding, akathisia and extreme anxiety came back) 2018-01-29 Got to ZERO. A hard way down for sure. And now hoping for improvements along the way... Tapering melatonin gave me dystonic reactions however.14 months after zero: Alternating akathisia, dystonic reactions and WD. Very unstable. No meds whatsoever. 31 months after zero: dystonia got worse, still very high anxiety, and many symptoms... no healing in sight. Adverse reaction destroyed me. Link to comment
TheWayBack Posted September 9, 2017 Author Share Posted September 9, 2017 Day 20: All in all a pretty OK day. Off course not as good as I would like, but the anxiety wasn't unmanageable. I got the drugged feeling in the afternoon with a little bit more anxiety, but I'm not complaining. And my appetite is back! Food tastes good again and I'm hungry a couple times a day. Day 21: I slept OK, almost no anxiety in the morning. I drove with my wife to a big city to go shopping. Didn't feel 'good', but had a lot of enjoyable moments. Ate a lot, got some rumination in the afternoon, but everything was very bearable. I do have headaches now. I'm pretty tense during the day, it seems to have something to do with the Lexapro. Laughing is difficult though. Feelings are flattened. But again not complaining! I was wondering about something. If I would stabilize no more than this, would it be wise to taper? I'm not saying I'm tapering before some weeks have passed, but would the panic and anxiety stay? Or should I updose even more so that the anxiety completely disappears before tapering properly again? Origin of Panic Attack and Anxiety Disorder: Overdose of Hallucinogenic HOT-7. 2013-09 20mg escitalopram. In the 4 first months 0.5-1mg/day Alprazolam for sleep & difficult situations. Tapered the first time from 20mg to 0mg in 17 months or so. Withdrawal 6-8 weeks after last dose. Didn't taper enough to low enough doses (+-1mg). 2015-01-02 Back on 10mg after one week of delayed withdrawal. Stable in 8 days. Second time tapered 2 years from 10mg to 1.6mg. Stable for half a year in range 2.5mg-1.6mg. 2017-07-28 Measurement errors: went for 1-2 weeks on 2mg. Restlessness and anxiety. Tried back to go back to 1.7mg for 5 days. Anxiety stayed. 2017-08-03 - 2017-08-20 Switched to liquid Lexapro 20mg/ml (1 drop is 1mg). Updosed to 2mg hoping to stabilize. Horrible Panic and Anxiety. Hold for 17 days hoping to stabilize. Didn't work enough for me at the time. 2017-08-20 End of holiday approaching. No more time. Decision to up dose to 5mg escitalopram. Back to the pills. Tapering alprazolam. A lot of side effects: Akathisia, more anxiety, very troubling sleep, every thought and movement gave me panic attacks. Worst time of my life. I did learn coping skills in this period. A lot. Mastering meditation, mastering floating technique and more Claire Weekes stuff... Can handle extreme anxiety pretty decent now. 2017-09-30 Going down again because holding got worse almost every day. ADVICE TO OTHER ESCITALOPRAM PEOPLE, if updose doesn't work in two weeks, go down again!!! WD is not as brutal as adverse updose effects! After every taper (while tapering pretty manageable, after couple weeks holding, akathisia and extreme anxiety came back) 2018-01-29 Got to ZERO. A hard way down for sure. And now hoping for improvements along the way... Tapering melatonin gave me dystonic reactions however.14 months after zero: Alternating akathisia, dystonic reactions and WD. Very unstable. No meds whatsoever. 31 months after zero: dystonia got worse, still very high anxiety, and many symptoms... no healing in sight. Adverse reaction destroyed me. Link to comment
TheWayBack Posted September 10, 2017 Author Share Posted September 10, 2017 Day 22: A lot more anxiety, and I feel dampened panic attacks. I can cope, but the thought of tapering with anxiety present is a problematic one. I'm afraid the panic attacks and anxiety will intensify... Does one of the mods know of someone with a panic disorder that weaned off slowly while having anxiety and panic attacks? Especially triggered by updosing... Origin of Panic Attack and Anxiety Disorder: Overdose of Hallucinogenic HOT-7. 2013-09 20mg escitalopram. In the 4 first months 0.5-1mg/day Alprazolam for sleep & difficult situations. Tapered the first time from 20mg to 0mg in 17 months or so. Withdrawal 6-8 weeks after last dose. Didn't taper enough to low enough doses (+-1mg). 2015-01-02 Back on 10mg after one week of delayed withdrawal. Stable in 8 days. Second time tapered 2 years from 10mg to 1.6mg. Stable for half a year in range 2.5mg-1.6mg. 2017-07-28 Measurement errors: went for 1-2 weeks on 2mg. Restlessness and anxiety. Tried back to go back to 1.7mg for 5 days. Anxiety stayed. 2017-08-03 - 2017-08-20 Switched to liquid Lexapro 20mg/ml (1 drop is 1mg). Updosed to 2mg hoping to stabilize. Horrible Panic and Anxiety. Hold for 17 days hoping to stabilize. Didn't work enough for me at the time. 2017-08-20 End of holiday approaching. No more time. Decision to up dose to 5mg escitalopram. Back to the pills. Tapering alprazolam. A lot of side effects: Akathisia, more anxiety, very troubling sleep, every thought and movement gave me panic attacks. Worst time of my life. I did learn coping skills in this period. A lot. Mastering meditation, mastering floating technique and more Claire Weekes stuff... Can handle extreme anxiety pretty decent now. 2017-09-30 Going down again because holding got worse almost every day. ADVICE TO OTHER ESCITALOPRAM PEOPLE, if updose doesn't work in two weeks, go down again!!! WD is not as brutal as adverse updose effects! After every taper (while tapering pretty manageable, after couple weeks holding, akathisia and extreme anxiety came back) 2018-01-29 Got to ZERO. A hard way down for sure. And now hoping for improvements along the way... Tapering melatonin gave me dystonic reactions however.14 months after zero: Alternating akathisia, dystonic reactions and WD. Very unstable. No meds whatsoever. 31 months after zero: dystonia got worse, still very high anxiety, and many symptoms... no healing in sight. Adverse reaction destroyed me. Link to comment
TheWayBack Posted September 11, 2017 Author Share Posted September 11, 2017 Day 23: Light anxiety in the morning. Day went pretty good. A little bit a flu-like feeling, but the anxiety was kept at bay. An OK day. Origin of Panic Attack and Anxiety Disorder: Overdose of Hallucinogenic HOT-7. 2013-09 20mg escitalopram. In the 4 first months 0.5-1mg/day Alprazolam for sleep & difficult situations. Tapered the first time from 20mg to 0mg in 17 months or so. Withdrawal 6-8 weeks after last dose. Didn't taper enough to low enough doses (+-1mg). 2015-01-02 Back on 10mg after one week of delayed withdrawal. Stable in 8 days. Second time tapered 2 years from 10mg to 1.6mg. Stable for half a year in range 2.5mg-1.6mg. 2017-07-28 Measurement errors: went for 1-2 weeks on 2mg. Restlessness and anxiety. Tried back to go back to 1.7mg for 5 days. Anxiety stayed. 2017-08-03 - 2017-08-20 Switched to liquid Lexapro 20mg/ml (1 drop is 1mg). Updosed to 2mg hoping to stabilize. Horrible Panic and Anxiety. Hold for 17 days hoping to stabilize. Didn't work enough for me at the time. 2017-08-20 End of holiday approaching. No more time. Decision to up dose to 5mg escitalopram. Back to the pills. Tapering alprazolam. A lot of side effects: Akathisia, more anxiety, very troubling sleep, every thought and movement gave me panic attacks. Worst time of my life. I did learn coping skills in this period. A lot. Mastering meditation, mastering floating technique and more Claire Weekes stuff... Can handle extreme anxiety pretty decent now. 2017-09-30 Going down again because holding got worse almost every day. ADVICE TO OTHER ESCITALOPRAM PEOPLE, if updose doesn't work in two weeks, go down again!!! WD is not as brutal as adverse updose effects! After every taper (while tapering pretty manageable, after couple weeks holding, akathisia and extreme anxiety came back) 2018-01-29 Got to ZERO. A hard way down for sure. And now hoping for improvements along the way... Tapering melatonin gave me dystonic reactions however.14 months after zero: Alternating akathisia, dystonic reactions and WD. Very unstable. No meds whatsoever. 31 months after zero: dystonia got worse, still very high anxiety, and many symptoms... no healing in sight. Adverse reaction destroyed me. Link to comment
TheWayBack Posted September 12, 2017 Author Share Posted September 12, 2017 Day 24: So far so good, OK days, not much anxiety, I provoked some anxiety in the afternoon and I could feel a dampened panic attack. So it's not gone yet. Does one of the mods know of someone with a panic disorder that weaned off slowly while having anxiety and panic attacks? Especially triggered by updosing... Origin of Panic Attack and Anxiety Disorder: Overdose of Hallucinogenic HOT-7. 2013-09 20mg escitalopram. In the 4 first months 0.5-1mg/day Alprazolam for sleep & difficult situations. Tapered the first time from 20mg to 0mg in 17 months or so. Withdrawal 6-8 weeks after last dose. Didn't taper enough to low enough doses (+-1mg). 2015-01-02 Back on 10mg after one week of delayed withdrawal. Stable in 8 days. Second time tapered 2 years from 10mg to 1.6mg. Stable for half a year in range 2.5mg-1.6mg. 2017-07-28 Measurement errors: went for 1-2 weeks on 2mg. Restlessness and anxiety. Tried back to go back to 1.7mg for 5 days. Anxiety stayed. 2017-08-03 - 2017-08-20 Switched to liquid Lexapro 20mg/ml (1 drop is 1mg). Updosed to 2mg hoping to stabilize. Horrible Panic and Anxiety. Hold for 17 days hoping to stabilize. Didn't work enough for me at the time. 2017-08-20 End of holiday approaching. No more time. Decision to up dose to 5mg escitalopram. Back to the pills. Tapering alprazolam. A lot of side effects: Akathisia, more anxiety, very troubling sleep, every thought and movement gave me panic attacks. Worst time of my life. I did learn coping skills in this period. A lot. Mastering meditation, mastering floating technique and more Claire Weekes stuff... Can handle extreme anxiety pretty decent now. 2017-09-30 Going down again because holding got worse almost every day. ADVICE TO OTHER ESCITALOPRAM PEOPLE, if updose doesn't work in two weeks, go down again!!! WD is not as brutal as adverse updose effects! After every taper (while tapering pretty manageable, after couple weeks holding, akathisia and extreme anxiety came back) 2018-01-29 Got to ZERO. A hard way down for sure. And now hoping for improvements along the way... Tapering melatonin gave me dystonic reactions however.14 months after zero: Alternating akathisia, dystonic reactions and WD. Very unstable. No meds whatsoever. 31 months after zero: dystonia got worse, still very high anxiety, and many symptoms... no healing in sight. Adverse reaction destroyed me. Link to comment
TheWayBack Posted September 13, 2017 Author Share Posted September 13, 2017 Day 24 ended pretty OK, but provoked anxiety stayed for almost three hours. Evening was much more relaxed. Day 25: Noon now. Low anxiety in the morning, chemical dizzy feeling. Light anxiety in the background the whole time, difficulty concentrating. A little headache, like a tension around the head. Two more weeks before I reassess my dosage. I think I try a 10% decrease, unless someone else thinks otherwise? Psydoc said Lexapro could give me anxiety so hopefully it will diminish a bit. But on the other hand, what if I got a new anxiety/panic disorder due to the last 2 months? Anxiety almost never leaves completely. Psydoc said the anxiety should disappear with tapering. But we all know how well Psydocs know their stuff... Still having a hard time wrapping my head around the fact that everything was so good at 1.5mg for so long and now at 5mg for almost 4 weeks, still so far from my previous condition... If tapering will be successful, a party is due. Origin of Panic Attack and Anxiety Disorder: Overdose of Hallucinogenic HOT-7. 2013-09 20mg escitalopram. In the 4 first months 0.5-1mg/day Alprazolam for sleep & difficult situations. Tapered the first time from 20mg to 0mg in 17 months or so. Withdrawal 6-8 weeks after last dose. Didn't taper enough to low enough doses (+-1mg). 2015-01-02 Back on 10mg after one week of delayed withdrawal. Stable in 8 days. Second time tapered 2 years from 10mg to 1.6mg. Stable for half a year in range 2.5mg-1.6mg. 2017-07-28 Measurement errors: went for 1-2 weeks on 2mg. Restlessness and anxiety. Tried back to go back to 1.7mg for 5 days. Anxiety stayed. 2017-08-03 - 2017-08-20 Switched to liquid Lexapro 20mg/ml (1 drop is 1mg). Updosed to 2mg hoping to stabilize. Horrible Panic and Anxiety. Hold for 17 days hoping to stabilize. Didn't work enough for me at the time. 2017-08-20 End of holiday approaching. No more time. Decision to up dose to 5mg escitalopram. Back to the pills. Tapering alprazolam. A lot of side effects: Akathisia, more anxiety, very troubling sleep, every thought and movement gave me panic attacks. Worst time of my life. I did learn coping skills in this period. A lot. Mastering meditation, mastering floating technique and more Claire Weekes stuff... Can handle extreme anxiety pretty decent now. 2017-09-30 Going down again because holding got worse almost every day. ADVICE TO OTHER ESCITALOPRAM PEOPLE, if updose doesn't work in two weeks, go down again!!! WD is not as brutal as adverse updose effects! After every taper (while tapering pretty manageable, after couple weeks holding, akathisia and extreme anxiety came back) 2018-01-29 Got to ZERO. A hard way down for sure. And now hoping for improvements along the way... Tapering melatonin gave me dystonic reactions however.14 months after zero: Alternating akathisia, dystonic reactions and WD. Very unstable. No meds whatsoever. 31 months after zero: dystonia got worse, still very high anxiety, and many symptoms... no healing in sight. Adverse reaction destroyed me. Link to comment
mona11 Posted September 13, 2017 Share Posted September 13, 2017 I believe you should wait longer to start your taper. You are still adjusting to this dose and maybe you are not ready yet. I never did 10% every 6 to 8 weeks. I always do micro taper. How about 2% every 2 weeks or even 1% every 2 weeks? The way I'm doing, I got from 15 mg to 10.5 mg in about 1 year and I never felt anything more than a headache and some little anxiety around the 4th day after the decrease. I also waited a long time after I stabilized to start decreasing. Moderators can help you better, but I think you should try and keep your dose stable as much as you can. Take your time to decide how you are doing it. Better be safe. I wish you all the best Link to comment
Moderator Emeritus baroquep Posted September 13, 2017 Moderator Emeritus Share Posted September 13, 2017 Hi there,, because of all the changes you have made after running into trouble with your taper over the last two years, your central nervous system has become highly sensitized by each and every change You now make. At this time, you should be prepared to stay on your current dose of 5mg until at least the beginning of 2018. You should not be considering a reduction until your central nervous system has had a chance to recover and heal and stabilize which it is trying to do. What you are experiencing is very typical considering all of the changes that were made in such a short amount of time. When I destabilized earlier this year, it took approximately three months before I was confident enough that my CNS had stabilized and it was safe for me to start tapering again. I know this isn't what you want to hear, but if I were you I would settle in for the long haul, learn a few techniques to help you cope with the symptoms you are currently dealing with and postpone any thought of making any changes until new year. Unfortunately it may take even longer for you to stabilize but for now patience and extreme self-care are critical to your recovery. Please review the link below so that you have a better understanding of what it means to stabilize. I know it took me a long time to comprehend just how powerful these drugs are and that all I could really do was learn to cultivate patience and take the steps to manage my symptoms until I stabilized. Best, BaroqueP Current Prescription Drugs for Hypothyroidism: Synthroid 100mcg / Cytomel 5mcg (15 years Pristiq/Effexor)Tapering Schedule September 15, 2016 - switched from Pristiq 50mg to Effexor XR 75mg; November 10, 2016 - reduced to 67.5 Effexor XR December 9, 2016 - reduced 60.75 January 5, 2017 - reduced 54.67 January 30, 2017 - reduced to 49.0 February 20, 2017 - reduced to 44.0 May 20, 2017 - reduced to 40.25 (holding for additional month due to late onset of withdrawal symptoms after this taper) July 17, 2017 - reduced to 38.24 August 15, 2017 - reduced to 37.5 (50% of my original dose) October 15, 2017 - reduced to 35.6 November 12, 2017 - reduced to 33.8 December 15, 2017 - up-dose to 35.6 December 28, 2017 - up-dose to 37.5 Link to comment
TheWayBack Posted September 13, 2017 Author Share Posted September 13, 2017 Thank you both! I'll postpone my taper a while longer if I read these posts. It feels so counter-intuitive because the anxiety is a symptom from the updosing. I'm keeping a diary, and post very regularly on this forum, so I can keep an eye on the progress. I sure hope next week will be better than this week, because I can't see any progress the last week. Tapering from 10mg to 1.5mg was never a problem before. Origin of Panic Attack and Anxiety Disorder: Overdose of Hallucinogenic HOT-7. 2013-09 20mg escitalopram. In the 4 first months 0.5-1mg/day Alprazolam for sleep & difficult situations. Tapered the first time from 20mg to 0mg in 17 months or so. Withdrawal 6-8 weeks after last dose. Didn't taper enough to low enough doses (+-1mg). 2015-01-02 Back on 10mg after one week of delayed withdrawal. Stable in 8 days. Second time tapered 2 years from 10mg to 1.6mg. Stable for half a year in range 2.5mg-1.6mg. 2017-07-28 Measurement errors: went for 1-2 weeks on 2mg. Restlessness and anxiety. Tried back to go back to 1.7mg for 5 days. Anxiety stayed. 2017-08-03 - 2017-08-20 Switched to liquid Lexapro 20mg/ml (1 drop is 1mg). Updosed to 2mg hoping to stabilize. Horrible Panic and Anxiety. Hold for 17 days hoping to stabilize. Didn't work enough for me at the time. 2017-08-20 End of holiday approaching. No more time. Decision to up dose to 5mg escitalopram. Back to the pills. Tapering alprazolam. A lot of side effects: Akathisia, more anxiety, very troubling sleep, every thought and movement gave me panic attacks. Worst time of my life. I did learn coping skills in this period. A lot. Mastering meditation, mastering floating technique and more Claire Weekes stuff... Can handle extreme anxiety pretty decent now. 2017-09-30 Going down again because holding got worse almost every day. ADVICE TO OTHER ESCITALOPRAM PEOPLE, if updose doesn't work in two weeks, go down again!!! WD is not as brutal as adverse updose effects! After every taper (while tapering pretty manageable, after couple weeks holding, akathisia and extreme anxiety came back) 2018-01-29 Got to ZERO. A hard way down for sure. And now hoping for improvements along the way... Tapering melatonin gave me dystonic reactions however.14 months after zero: Alternating akathisia, dystonic reactions and WD. Very unstable. No meds whatsoever. 31 months after zero: dystonia got worse, still very high anxiety, and many symptoms... no healing in sight. Adverse reaction destroyed me. Link to comment
TheWayBack Posted September 15, 2017 Author Share Posted September 15, 2017 Yesterday and today were bad days. Anxiety in the morning, the escitalopram didn't do much for the anxiety. I was anxious the whole 2 days. Almost a month since the updose and now not better than a week ago, maybe a bit worse... I feel stuck. Origin of Panic Attack and Anxiety Disorder: Overdose of Hallucinogenic HOT-7. 2013-09 20mg escitalopram. In the 4 first months 0.5-1mg/day Alprazolam for sleep & difficult situations. Tapered the first time from 20mg to 0mg in 17 months or so. Withdrawal 6-8 weeks after last dose. Didn't taper enough to low enough doses (+-1mg). 2015-01-02 Back on 10mg after one week of delayed withdrawal. Stable in 8 days. Second time tapered 2 years from 10mg to 1.6mg. Stable for half a year in range 2.5mg-1.6mg. 2017-07-28 Measurement errors: went for 1-2 weeks on 2mg. Restlessness and anxiety. Tried back to go back to 1.7mg for 5 days. Anxiety stayed. 2017-08-03 - 2017-08-20 Switched to liquid Lexapro 20mg/ml (1 drop is 1mg). Updosed to 2mg hoping to stabilize. Horrible Panic and Anxiety. Hold for 17 days hoping to stabilize. Didn't work enough for me at the time. 2017-08-20 End of holiday approaching. No more time. Decision to up dose to 5mg escitalopram. Back to the pills. Tapering alprazolam. A lot of side effects: Akathisia, more anxiety, very troubling sleep, every thought and movement gave me panic attacks. Worst time of my life. I did learn coping skills in this period. A lot. Mastering meditation, mastering floating technique and more Claire Weekes stuff... Can handle extreme anxiety pretty decent now. 2017-09-30 Going down again because holding got worse almost every day. ADVICE TO OTHER ESCITALOPRAM PEOPLE, if updose doesn't work in two weeks, go down again!!! WD is not as brutal as adverse updose effects! After every taper (while tapering pretty manageable, after couple weeks holding, akathisia and extreme anxiety came back) 2018-01-29 Got to ZERO. A hard way down for sure. And now hoping for improvements along the way... Tapering melatonin gave me dystonic reactions however.14 months after zero: Alternating akathisia, dystonic reactions and WD. Very unstable. No meds whatsoever. 31 months after zero: dystonia got worse, still very high anxiety, and many symptoms... no healing in sight. Adverse reaction destroyed me. Link to comment
AliG Posted September 15, 2017 Share Posted September 15, 2017 In actual fact, the escitalopram probably NEVER did do anything for the anxiety, except to make it worse. I would concentrate on your specific non -drug coping methods. Ultimately , these are what are probably going to get you through. Start practicing because these methods will become your new " Go -To " instead of the drugs and eventually become second nature to you throughout this journey. Stabilize where you are for now. You did notice some improvements but were also tapering the alprazolam, so maybe that is what is/was complicating matters. How did you or are you tapering alprazolam? Are you completely off it now? If you are, it will be easier and maybe then you can fully stabilize. That doesn't necessarily mean being totally symptom free, It just means being much less symptomatic. An updose doesn't automatically, totally correct the course but it can certainly help to move it in the right direction. Please give it some time ... nothing really happens very quickly during this process. It's an exercise in patience. Many SSRI's and SSNRI's over 20 years. Zoloft for 7 years followed by Effexor, Lexapro, Prozac, Cymbalta, Celexa, Pristiq, Valdoxan, Mianserin and more - on and off. No tapering. Cold turkey off Valdoxan - end of May 2014 Psych Drug - free since May 2014 . Link to comment
Survivor1 Posted September 15, 2017 Share Posted September 15, 2017 Hello Wayback, I know you are in a situation where it feels like you will never get better, but you will. Earlier this year I reinstated a small dose of seroquel and it took over 3 months for me to stabilize. In those three months, I had anxiety every single day. I thought I would rather die than live like that, and that it would never end. But I held on and finally, I stabilized. The key is to hold and make no changes, as the mods have told you. Healing will happen, even though it may be slower than you like. All the best. PAST Gabapentin: about 6 months in 2015, 300-900 mg, cold turkeyed Sept 2015 (at same time dc'd Klonopin) Klonopin: June 2014- Sept 2015; 1mg tapered over 6 mths, dc'd at 0.25mg, withdrawal hellish (perhaps because of concurrent dc of gabapentin) Mirtazepine: Jumped off at 2.4 mg. (stable in 8 months). Seroquel: June 14 - July 24, 2016, 25 mg alternate nights; smaller doses for shorter periods. Total use about 3 months Lamictal: March 19, 2018 - 1 mg; March 23 - 1.25 mg; April 6 - 2mg. Discontinued at 2 mgJuly 1, 2018 due to Steven Johnson Syndrome. CURRENT Supplements: Vit D, turmeric Naturethroid: 65 mcg for hypothyroidism Trazodone: Oct 2015 - June 2016; 75 mg tapered over 2 mths, intense w/d after 3 weeks. Reinstatement: 07/25/16 - 25 mg; updosed 08/03/16 - 50 mg; 10/01/16- 62mg; 03/24/17 dropped to 50 mg (stable in 2.5 months) Current psych meds: Trazodone 50 mg Link to comment
TheWayBack Posted September 15, 2017 Author Share Posted September 15, 2017 1 hour ago, AliG said: In actual fact, the escitalopram probably NEVER did do anything for the anxiety, except to make it worse. I would concentrate on your specific non -drug coping methods. Ultimately , these are what are probably going to get you through. Start practicing because these methods will become your new " Go -To " instead of the drugs and eventually become second nature to you throughout this journey. Stabilize where you are for now. You did notice some improvements but were also tapering the alprazolam, so maybe that is what is/was complicating matters. How did you or are you tapering alprazolam? Are you completely off it now? If you are, it will be easier and maybe then you can fully stabilize. That doesn't necessarily mean being totally symptom free, It just means being much less symptomatic. An updose doesn't automatically, totally correct the course but it can certainly help to move it in the right direction. Please give it some time ... nothing really happens very quickly during this process. It's an exercise in patience. Hi AliG When I first had the very intense panic attacks the first time, the escitalopram was a godsend. It completely killed every anxiety and panic in 7 days at 10mg. It worked for me then. When I tapered the first time I had no anxiety, even with a relative fast taper. The anxiety that returned some weeks after my last dose was very different and was withdrawal. After reinstatement of 10mg, 1-2 weeks after the WD began, the anxiety disappeared in a couple of days. With my much slower taper this time, there was never a lot of anxiety and I never had WD symptoms during the taper, only some minor days with a tiny bit of anxiety, almost non-existent. I felt even better and better the lower I went! The anxiety only began after the accidental updose, so this must be indeed the escitalopram that is giving me the anxiety, just like you said. The first accidental updosing gave me the same symptoms that the first WD gave me. That is: the feeling of not being in the moment, very tense and some anxiety. Those are my WD symptoms. But after the updose to 2mg liquid, things went extreme. Extreme anxiety and panic for days. Nowhere near something I previously experienced. I'm completely alprazolam free for 17 days. 23 days if you don't count one time a tiny bit of 0.05mg to cope in an extreme anxiety state. Such extreme anxiety hasn't occurred anymore thank god. What the second updose to 5mg did do for the better, is stabilizing my mood more. With the 2mg my moods changed with the wind. I felt sometimes extremely happy, but I couldn't go to work as unstable as that. The most important reason for the updose was the EXTREME restlessness I experienced the last day on 2mg. Now I'm more anxious all-around, but I know what I can expect. And no extreme restlessness anymore. The panic has stopped, that is a plus. Only anxiety, anxiety and anxiety in almost every facet. With a little bit of flu-like symptoms. The biggest question for myself is still, if I stabilize, will that mean the anxiety will be gone? Tapering with anxiety gives me a dark outlook on what to expect. At this moment the escitalopram may give me anxiety, but going lower will also lower the stopping-effect on the panic that this dosage gives. So this is actually what I mean with feeling stuck. If I could go lower in a big step (if that would be possible) my anxiety would lift, but going down in steps will most likely trigger panic on the way down... So I hope the anxiety will be cleared when I stabilize. At this moment I'm almost 10 days at exactly the same level without progress, the last days maybe a little bit worse. 1 hour ago, Survivor1 said: Hello Wayback, I know you are in a situation where it feels like you will never get better, but you will. Earlier this year I reinstated a small dose of seroquel and it took over 3 months for me to stabilize. In those three months, I had anxiety every single day. I thought I would rather die than live like that, and that it would never end. But I held on and finally, I stabilized. The key is to hold and make no changes, as the mods have told you. Healing will happen, even though it may be slower than you like. All the best. Survivor1, thank you so much for sharing your experience. I sure hope I can stabilize in a time-frame like yours. Thank you all for the detailed posts, they really give me the boost I need to continue my hold and not go lower to see if it would be for the better. The psydoc said the anxiety would go away with tapering and stopping, but I'm not sure at all. I'd rather follow the advice of people that went through this hell themselves, than a doc that never went through something remotely intense like these experiences. Origin of Panic Attack and Anxiety Disorder: Overdose of Hallucinogenic HOT-7. 2013-09 20mg escitalopram. In the 4 first months 0.5-1mg/day Alprazolam for sleep & difficult situations. Tapered the first time from 20mg to 0mg in 17 months or so. Withdrawal 6-8 weeks after last dose. Didn't taper enough to low enough doses (+-1mg). 2015-01-02 Back on 10mg after one week of delayed withdrawal. Stable in 8 days. Second time tapered 2 years from 10mg to 1.6mg. Stable for half a year in range 2.5mg-1.6mg. 2017-07-28 Measurement errors: went for 1-2 weeks on 2mg. Restlessness and anxiety. Tried back to go back to 1.7mg for 5 days. Anxiety stayed. 2017-08-03 - 2017-08-20 Switched to liquid Lexapro 20mg/ml (1 drop is 1mg). Updosed to 2mg hoping to stabilize. Horrible Panic and Anxiety. Hold for 17 days hoping to stabilize. Didn't work enough for me at the time. 2017-08-20 End of holiday approaching. No more time. Decision to up dose to 5mg escitalopram. Back to the pills. Tapering alprazolam. A lot of side effects: Akathisia, more anxiety, very troubling sleep, every thought and movement gave me panic attacks. Worst time of my life. I did learn coping skills in this period. A lot. Mastering meditation, mastering floating technique and more Claire Weekes stuff... Can handle extreme anxiety pretty decent now. 2017-09-30 Going down again because holding got worse almost every day. ADVICE TO OTHER ESCITALOPRAM PEOPLE, if updose doesn't work in two weeks, go down again!!! WD is not as brutal as adverse updose effects! After every taper (while tapering pretty manageable, after couple weeks holding, akathisia and extreme anxiety came back) 2018-01-29 Got to ZERO. A hard way down for sure. And now hoping for improvements along the way... Tapering melatonin gave me dystonic reactions however.14 months after zero: Alternating akathisia, dystonic reactions and WD. Very unstable. No meds whatsoever. 31 months after zero: dystonia got worse, still very high anxiety, and many symptoms... no healing in sight. Adverse reaction destroyed me. Link to comment
Moderator Emeritus baroquep Posted September 15, 2017 Moderator Emeritus Share Posted September 15, 2017 (edited) Hi TheWayBack, I think when we are in withdrawal we have to let go of all of our expectations and any notion that things will progress in a rational manner has to be put aside for awhile. The only thing we are safe to expect is the unexpected. I've been where you are not that long ago and know what you are going through and each time I reached out to a moderator, they'd tell me the same thing ... you have to accept what is happening to you right now and not to fight it, things will eventually get better. Finally understood that I was stressing myself out further by trying to rationalize what was happening rather than just accept what was happening. It took many months for me to embrace acceptance, to learn to just be and not put any further stress on my already stressed out mind by trying to rationalize it away. Thing is, by ignoring this thing called "acceptance" I now truly believe that it does hinder your progress. Maybe try and tell yourself, yes this sucks, but maybe I'd better use all that mindful energy to treat myself with self-compassion now that I'm in this crappy situation that I'm in and try and make myself as comfortable as I can through the anxiety. I do hope your anxiety does start calming down, know how awful that used to feel, honestly, there were days that I'd wake up feeling like doom followed me everywhere, but we get through it and I can tell you that you will honestly be stronger for it. After the months of doom and despair, I rarely deal with anxiety anymore, so I'm alive and kicking to tell you that it does get better, we just have to stop thinking about it or we might miss it when it actually starts to happen Acceptance Edited September 15, 2017 by baroquep Current Prescription Drugs for Hypothyroidism: Synthroid 100mcg / Cytomel 5mcg (15 years Pristiq/Effexor)Tapering Schedule September 15, 2016 - switched from Pristiq 50mg to Effexor XR 75mg; November 10, 2016 - reduced to 67.5 Effexor XR December 9, 2016 - reduced 60.75 January 5, 2017 - reduced 54.67 January 30, 2017 - reduced to 49.0 February 20, 2017 - reduced to 44.0 May 20, 2017 - reduced to 40.25 (holding for additional month due to late onset of withdrawal symptoms after this taper) July 17, 2017 - reduced to 38.24 August 15, 2017 - reduced to 37.5 (50% of my original dose) October 15, 2017 - reduced to 35.6 November 12, 2017 - reduced to 33.8 December 15, 2017 - up-dose to 35.6 December 28, 2017 - up-dose to 37.5 Link to comment
Moderator Emeritus Gridley Posted September 15, 2017 Moderator Emeritus Share Posted September 15, 2017 Baroquep, That is a beautiful post and very helpful to me. Thank you. Gridley Gridley Introduction Lexapro 20 mg since 2004. Begin Brassmonkey Slide Taper Jan. 2017. End 2017 year 1 of taper at 9.25mg End 2018 year 2 of taper at 4.1mg End 2019 year 3 of taper at 1.0mg Oct. 30, 2020 Jump to zero from 0.025mg. Current dose: 0.000mg 3 year, 10 month taper is 100% complete. Ativan 1 mg to 1.875mg 1986-2020, two CT's and reinstatements Nov. 2020, 7-week Ativan-Valium crossover to 18.75mg Valium Feb. 2021, begin 10%/4 week taper of 18.75mg Valium End 2021 year 1 of Valium taper at 6mg End 2022 year 2 of Valium taper at 2.75mg End 2023 year 3 of Valium taper at 1mg Jan. 24, 2024: Hold at 1mg and shift to Imipramine taper. Taper is 95% complete. Imipramine 75 mg daily since 1986. Jan.-Sept. 2016 tapered to 14.4mg March 22, 2022: Begin 10%/4 week taper Aug. 5, 2022: hold at 9.5mg and shift to Valium taper Jan. 24, 2024: Resume Imipramine taper. Current dose as of April 1: 6.8mg Taper is 91% complete. Supplements: multiple, quercetin, omega-3, vitamins C, E and D3, magnesium glycinate, probiotics, zinc, melatonin .3mg, iron, serrapeptase, nattokinase I am not a medical professional and this is not medical advice but simply information based on my own experience, as well as other members who have survived these drugs. Link to comment
DMV64 Posted September 16, 2017 Share Posted September 16, 2017 Baroquep! I just read your inspiring words and they have given me hope for anxiety! Thank you! 2001- Klonopin 0.125 mg. 2011- increase to 1 mg. 2018- increase to 1.5 mg. Taper 2023-2024. Taper complete! 2010- Trials of SSRI's, several. 2011- Saphris 5 mg. CT. 6/2017- retry Saphris 5 mg sublingual, begin taper August 2020 10% taper with scale, and final taper liquid sublingual, August 2019- taper complete! 2011- Geodon 20 mg. Begin taper Sept 2019. 10% liquid taper. 2020: December-5 mg. 2021: Jan-4.5mg. (held Feb.for vacation). March-4mg. Apr-3.6mg. May-3.2mg. June-2.8mg. (Held July for vacation). Aug-2.4mg. Sept.- 2.2mg. Oct. 2mg. Dec 2022 - Taper complete! 2011- Gabapentin 300 mg to present- 2020. Increase 2023 to 400mg. 2014- Vyvanse 20 mg, 2020- Vyvanse 5 mg. Increase August 2022 20mg. CT (unavailable) 4/2023 2016- Lithium 300 mg, June 2016 - FT. 2017- Cogentin 0.5 mg. June-August 2019- off Cogentin. 2018- Lamictal 300mg. Holding 2021 - Hydroxyzine 30mg. Holding. 2014 Omeprazole 20 mg and holding, Omega 3's/fish oil, Magnesium Link to comment
TheWayBack Posted September 16, 2017 Author Share Posted September 16, 2017 What a nice post baroquep. Thank you. I'm trying to accept it as much as I can now. HOLDING Today was a bit better than the previous two days. A lot less anxiety in the morning. It returned but it was more manageable. A lot of brainfog today and headaches. But better than the previous days is a good thing. There seems to be a turning point the last couple of days. Instead of exacerbating the anxiety, the morning dose of escitalopram seems to ease the anxiety somewhat. It also gives me the groggy feeling that I got the last couple of years after taking the medication. This is maybe a step towards a more normal effect of the drug. Origin of Panic Attack and Anxiety Disorder: Overdose of Hallucinogenic HOT-7. 2013-09 20mg escitalopram. In the 4 first months 0.5-1mg/day Alprazolam for sleep & difficult situations. Tapered the first time from 20mg to 0mg in 17 months or so. Withdrawal 6-8 weeks after last dose. Didn't taper enough to low enough doses (+-1mg). 2015-01-02 Back on 10mg after one week of delayed withdrawal. Stable in 8 days. Second time tapered 2 years from 10mg to 1.6mg. Stable for half a year in range 2.5mg-1.6mg. 2017-07-28 Measurement errors: went for 1-2 weeks on 2mg. Restlessness and anxiety. Tried back to go back to 1.7mg for 5 days. Anxiety stayed. 2017-08-03 - 2017-08-20 Switched to liquid Lexapro 20mg/ml (1 drop is 1mg). Updosed to 2mg hoping to stabilize. Horrible Panic and Anxiety. Hold for 17 days hoping to stabilize. Didn't work enough for me at the time. 2017-08-20 End of holiday approaching. No more time. Decision to up dose to 5mg escitalopram. Back to the pills. Tapering alprazolam. A lot of side effects: Akathisia, more anxiety, very troubling sleep, every thought and movement gave me panic attacks. Worst time of my life. I did learn coping skills in this period. A lot. Mastering meditation, mastering floating technique and more Claire Weekes stuff... Can handle extreme anxiety pretty decent now. 2017-09-30 Going down again because holding got worse almost every day. ADVICE TO OTHER ESCITALOPRAM PEOPLE, if updose doesn't work in two weeks, go down again!!! WD is not as brutal as adverse updose effects! After every taper (while tapering pretty manageable, after couple weeks holding, akathisia and extreme anxiety came back) 2018-01-29 Got to ZERO. A hard way down for sure. And now hoping for improvements along the way... Tapering melatonin gave me dystonic reactions however.14 months after zero: Alternating akathisia, dystonic reactions and WD. Very unstable. No meds whatsoever. 31 months after zero: dystonia got worse, still very high anxiety, and many symptoms... no healing in sight. Adverse reaction destroyed me. Link to comment
DMV64 Posted September 16, 2017 Share Posted September 16, 2017 I am glad you are feeling a turning point Thewayback. I am breathing my way in hope. 2001- Klonopin 0.125 mg. 2011- increase to 1 mg. 2018- increase to 1.5 mg. Taper 2023-2024. Taper complete! 2010- Trials of SSRI's, several. 2011- Saphris 5 mg. CT. 6/2017- retry Saphris 5 mg sublingual, begin taper August 2020 10% taper with scale, and final taper liquid sublingual, August 2019- taper complete! 2011- Geodon 20 mg. Begin taper Sept 2019. 10% liquid taper. 2020: December-5 mg. 2021: Jan-4.5mg. (held Feb.for vacation). March-4mg. Apr-3.6mg. May-3.2mg. June-2.8mg. (Held July for vacation). Aug-2.4mg. Sept.- 2.2mg. Oct. 2mg. Dec 2022 - Taper complete! 2011- Gabapentin 300 mg to present- 2020. Increase 2023 to 400mg. 2014- Vyvanse 20 mg, 2020- Vyvanse 5 mg. Increase August 2022 20mg. CT (unavailable) 4/2023 2016- Lithium 300 mg, June 2016 - FT. 2017- Cogentin 0.5 mg. June-August 2019- off Cogentin. 2018- Lamictal 300mg. Holding 2021 - Hydroxyzine 30mg. Holding. 2014 Omeprazole 20 mg and holding, Omega 3's/fish oil, Magnesium Link to comment
TheWayBack Posted September 17, 2017 Author Share Posted September 17, 2017 I'm hoping you will stabilize soon DMV64! Keep holding on and stick with the advice of the mods! Origin of Panic Attack and Anxiety Disorder: Overdose of Hallucinogenic HOT-7. 2013-09 20mg escitalopram. In the 4 first months 0.5-1mg/day Alprazolam for sleep & difficult situations. Tapered the first time from 20mg to 0mg in 17 months or so. Withdrawal 6-8 weeks after last dose. Didn't taper enough to low enough doses (+-1mg). 2015-01-02 Back on 10mg after one week of delayed withdrawal. Stable in 8 days. Second time tapered 2 years from 10mg to 1.6mg. Stable for half a year in range 2.5mg-1.6mg. 2017-07-28 Measurement errors: went for 1-2 weeks on 2mg. Restlessness and anxiety. Tried back to go back to 1.7mg for 5 days. Anxiety stayed. 2017-08-03 - 2017-08-20 Switched to liquid Lexapro 20mg/ml (1 drop is 1mg). Updosed to 2mg hoping to stabilize. Horrible Panic and Anxiety. Hold for 17 days hoping to stabilize. Didn't work enough for me at the time. 2017-08-20 End of holiday approaching. No more time. Decision to up dose to 5mg escitalopram. Back to the pills. Tapering alprazolam. A lot of side effects: Akathisia, more anxiety, very troubling sleep, every thought and movement gave me panic attacks. Worst time of my life. I did learn coping skills in this period. A lot. Mastering meditation, mastering floating technique and more Claire Weekes stuff... Can handle extreme anxiety pretty decent now. 2017-09-30 Going down again because holding got worse almost every day. ADVICE TO OTHER ESCITALOPRAM PEOPLE, if updose doesn't work in two weeks, go down again!!! WD is not as brutal as adverse updose effects! After every taper (while tapering pretty manageable, after couple weeks holding, akathisia and extreme anxiety came back) 2018-01-29 Got to ZERO. A hard way down for sure. And now hoping for improvements along the way... Tapering melatonin gave me dystonic reactions however.14 months after zero: Alternating akathisia, dystonic reactions and WD. Very unstable. No meds whatsoever. 31 months after zero: dystonia got worse, still very high anxiety, and many symptoms... no healing in sight. Adverse reaction destroyed me. Link to comment
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