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TheWayBack: Hoping to stabilize soon


TheWayBack

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Thank you! I am sticking with the advice. I do think as Bubble just said I might need to updose the Geoden but hopefully not the Lithium. I just changed too much too fast and now I feel like I am just trying to figure out how much (or really how little) I need to stablize.

2001- Klonopin 0.125 mg.  2011- increase to 1 mg.  2018- increase to 1.5 mg 

2010- Trials of SSRI's, several.

2011- Saphris 5 mg. CT. 6/2017- retry Saphris 5 mg sublingual, begin taper August 2020 10% taper with scale, and final taper liquid sublingual, August 2019- taper complete!

2011- Geodon 20 mg. Begin taper Sept 2019. 10% liquid taper. 2020: December-5 mg. 2021: Jan-4.5mg. (held Feb.for vacation). March-4mg. Apr-3.6mg. May-3.2mg. June-2.8mg. (Held July for vacation). Aug-2.4mg. Sept.- 2.2mg. Oct. 2mg. Dec 2022 - Taper complete!

2011- Gabapentin 300 mg to present- 2020. Increase 2023 to 400mg.

2014- Vyvanse 20 mg, 2020- Vyvanse 5 mg. Increase August 2022 20mg

2016- Lithium 300 mg, June 2016 - FT.

2017- Cogentin 0.5 mg. June-August 2019- off Cogentin.

2021 - Hydroxyzine 30mg. Holding.

Omeprazole 20 mg and holding, Omega 3's/fish oil, Magnesium

 

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You will figure it out eventually. Bubble knows what he is doing ^_^

Origin of Panic Attack and Anxiety Disorder: Overdose of Hallucinogenic HOT-7.

2013-09 20mg escitalopram. In the 4 first months 0.5-1mg/day Alprazolam for sleep & difficult situations.

Tapered the first time from 20mg to 0mg in 17 months or so. Withdrawal 6-8 weeks after last dose. Didn't taper enough to low enough doses (+-1mg).

2015-01-02 Back on 10mg after one week of delayed withdrawal. Stable in 8 days.

Second time tapered 2 years from 10mg to 1.6mg. Stable for half a year in range 2.5mg-1.6mg.

2017-07-28 Measurement errors: went for 1-2 weeks on 2mg. Restlessness and anxiety. Tried back to go back to 1.7mg for 5 days. Anxiety stayed.

2017-08-03 - 2017-08-20 Switched to liquid Lexapro 20mg/ml (1 drop is 1mg). Updosed to 2mg hoping to stabilize. Horrible Panic and Anxiety. Hold for 17 days hoping to stabilize. Didn't work enough for me at the time.

2017-08-20 End of holiday approaching. No more time. Decision to up dose to 5mg escitalopram. Back to the pills. Tapering alprazolam.

A lot of side effects: Akathisia, more anxiety, very troubling sleep, every thought and movement gave me panic attacks. Worst time of my life. I did learn coping skills in this period. A lot. Mastering meditation, mastering floating technique and more Claire Weekes stuff... Can handle extreme anxiety pretty decent now.

2017-09-30 Going down again because holding got worse almost every day. ADVICE TO OTHER ESCITALOPRAM PEOPLE, if updose doesn't work in two weeks, go down again!!! WD is not as brutal as adverse updose effects! After every taper (while tapering pretty manageable, after couple weeks holding, akathisia and extreme anxiety came back)

2018-01-29 Got to ZERO. A hard way down for sure. And now hoping for improvements along the way... Tapering melatonin gave me dystonic reactions however.
14 months after zero: Alternating akathisia, dystonic reactions and WD. Very unstable. No meds whatsoever. 31 months after zero: dystonia got worse, still very high anxiety, and many symptoms... no healing in sight. Adverse reaction destroyed me.

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Day 29: Some anxiety through the day, but very manageable. More in the morning, less in the afternoon and no anxiety in the evening. A lot of physical stress issues during the day.

Day 30: I woke relaxed, took the pil, still relaxed 4 hours later. Almost no anxiety present. Of course I'm not completely free of worries, but I guess that's normal after 51 days anxiety and fear. Let's see how the day goes.

 

 

Origin of Panic Attack and Anxiety Disorder: Overdose of Hallucinogenic HOT-7.

2013-09 20mg escitalopram. In the 4 first months 0.5-1mg/day Alprazolam for sleep & difficult situations.

Tapered the first time from 20mg to 0mg in 17 months or so. Withdrawal 6-8 weeks after last dose. Didn't taper enough to low enough doses (+-1mg).

2015-01-02 Back on 10mg after one week of delayed withdrawal. Stable in 8 days.

Second time tapered 2 years from 10mg to 1.6mg. Stable for half a year in range 2.5mg-1.6mg.

2017-07-28 Measurement errors: went for 1-2 weeks on 2mg. Restlessness and anxiety. Tried back to go back to 1.7mg for 5 days. Anxiety stayed.

2017-08-03 - 2017-08-20 Switched to liquid Lexapro 20mg/ml (1 drop is 1mg). Updosed to 2mg hoping to stabilize. Horrible Panic and Anxiety. Hold for 17 days hoping to stabilize. Didn't work enough for me at the time.

2017-08-20 End of holiday approaching. No more time. Decision to up dose to 5mg escitalopram. Back to the pills. Tapering alprazolam.

A lot of side effects: Akathisia, more anxiety, very troubling sleep, every thought and movement gave me panic attacks. Worst time of my life. I did learn coping skills in this period. A lot. Mastering meditation, mastering floating technique and more Claire Weekes stuff... Can handle extreme anxiety pretty decent now.

2017-09-30 Going down again because holding got worse almost every day. ADVICE TO OTHER ESCITALOPRAM PEOPLE, if updose doesn't work in two weeks, go down again!!! WD is not as brutal as adverse updose effects! After every taper (while tapering pretty manageable, after couple weeks holding, akathisia and extreme anxiety came back)

2018-01-29 Got to ZERO. A hard way down for sure. And now hoping for improvements along the way... Tapering melatonin gave me dystonic reactions however.
14 months after zero: Alternating akathisia, dystonic reactions and WD. Very unstable. No meds whatsoever. 31 months after zero: dystonia got worse, still very high anxiety, and many symptoms... no healing in sight. Adverse reaction destroyed me.

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Day 30 Roundup: Best day until now. Almost normal with a bit of worry and anxiety far in the background. From the morning until the evening. Very nice.

 

Day 31: Anxiety back, but not as intense. Manageable and I think in a week or two, it should be mostly gone.

 

Origin of Panic Attack and Anxiety Disorder: Overdose of Hallucinogenic HOT-7.

2013-09 20mg escitalopram. In the 4 first months 0.5-1mg/day Alprazolam for sleep & difficult situations.

Tapered the first time from 20mg to 0mg in 17 months or so. Withdrawal 6-8 weeks after last dose. Didn't taper enough to low enough doses (+-1mg).

2015-01-02 Back on 10mg after one week of delayed withdrawal. Stable in 8 days.

Second time tapered 2 years from 10mg to 1.6mg. Stable for half a year in range 2.5mg-1.6mg.

2017-07-28 Measurement errors: went for 1-2 weeks on 2mg. Restlessness and anxiety. Tried back to go back to 1.7mg for 5 days. Anxiety stayed.

2017-08-03 - 2017-08-20 Switched to liquid Lexapro 20mg/ml (1 drop is 1mg). Updosed to 2mg hoping to stabilize. Horrible Panic and Anxiety. Hold for 17 days hoping to stabilize. Didn't work enough for me at the time.

2017-08-20 End of holiday approaching. No more time. Decision to up dose to 5mg escitalopram. Back to the pills. Tapering alprazolam.

A lot of side effects: Akathisia, more anxiety, very troubling sleep, every thought and movement gave me panic attacks. Worst time of my life. I did learn coping skills in this period. A lot. Mastering meditation, mastering floating technique and more Claire Weekes stuff... Can handle extreme anxiety pretty decent now.

2017-09-30 Going down again because holding got worse almost every day. ADVICE TO OTHER ESCITALOPRAM PEOPLE, if updose doesn't work in two weeks, go down again!!! WD is not as brutal as adverse updose effects! After every taper (while tapering pretty manageable, after couple weeks holding, akathisia and extreme anxiety came back)

2018-01-29 Got to ZERO. A hard way down for sure. And now hoping for improvements along the way... Tapering melatonin gave me dystonic reactions however.
14 months after zero: Alternating akathisia, dystonic reactions and WD. Very unstable. No meds whatsoever. 31 months after zero: dystonia got worse, still very high anxiety, and many symptoms... no healing in sight. Adverse reaction destroyed me.

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Good news! YAY!

2001- Klonopin 0.125 mg.  2011- increase to 1 mg.  2018- increase to 1.5 mg 

2010- Trials of SSRI's, several.

2011- Saphris 5 mg. CT. 6/2017- retry Saphris 5 mg sublingual, begin taper August 2020 10% taper with scale, and final taper liquid sublingual, August 2019- taper complete!

2011- Geodon 20 mg. Begin taper Sept 2019. 10% liquid taper. 2020: December-5 mg. 2021: Jan-4.5mg. (held Feb.for vacation). March-4mg. Apr-3.6mg. May-3.2mg. June-2.8mg. (Held July for vacation). Aug-2.4mg. Sept.- 2.2mg. Oct. 2mg. Dec 2022 - Taper complete!

2011- Gabapentin 300 mg to present- 2020. Increase 2023 to 400mg.

2014- Vyvanse 20 mg, 2020- Vyvanse 5 mg. Increase August 2022 20mg

2016- Lithium 300 mg, June 2016 - FT.

2017- Cogentin 0.5 mg. June-August 2019- off Cogentin.

2021 - Hydroxyzine 30mg. Holding.

Omeprazole 20 mg and holding, Omega 3's/fish oil, Magnesium

 

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It sure is! I'm not out of the woods yet, but steady progress is being made. Still have a lot of difficulties: hot flashes, stomach churning, palpitations, headfog, irritability... But the acute symptoms are almost gone. Anxiety is a lot less and so is the rumination. Happiness is not around the corner but a more stable mood is a  nice thing to have.

 

I do hate the escitalopram now more than ever. What a poison! The only positive thing that came out of this whole ordeal is the knowledge and training gained from this all. And I hope I can use it to face the final withdrawal. And to cope with the panic attacks that may follow. So I can be finally cured for good in the end.

 

Thank you all for your sympathy and compassion. It means and meant the world to me in these dark times.

 

So much love!

 

 

 

 

 

 

Origin of Panic Attack and Anxiety Disorder: Overdose of Hallucinogenic HOT-7.

2013-09 20mg escitalopram. In the 4 first months 0.5-1mg/day Alprazolam for sleep & difficult situations.

Tapered the first time from 20mg to 0mg in 17 months or so. Withdrawal 6-8 weeks after last dose. Didn't taper enough to low enough doses (+-1mg).

2015-01-02 Back on 10mg after one week of delayed withdrawal. Stable in 8 days.

Second time tapered 2 years from 10mg to 1.6mg. Stable for half a year in range 2.5mg-1.6mg.

2017-07-28 Measurement errors: went for 1-2 weeks on 2mg. Restlessness and anxiety. Tried back to go back to 1.7mg for 5 days. Anxiety stayed.

2017-08-03 - 2017-08-20 Switched to liquid Lexapro 20mg/ml (1 drop is 1mg). Updosed to 2mg hoping to stabilize. Horrible Panic and Anxiety. Hold for 17 days hoping to stabilize. Didn't work enough for me at the time.

2017-08-20 End of holiday approaching. No more time. Decision to up dose to 5mg escitalopram. Back to the pills. Tapering alprazolam.

A lot of side effects: Akathisia, more anxiety, very troubling sleep, every thought and movement gave me panic attacks. Worst time of my life. I did learn coping skills in this period. A lot. Mastering meditation, mastering floating technique and more Claire Weekes stuff... Can handle extreme anxiety pretty decent now.

2017-09-30 Going down again because holding got worse almost every day. ADVICE TO OTHER ESCITALOPRAM PEOPLE, if updose doesn't work in two weeks, go down again!!! WD is not as brutal as adverse updose effects! After every taper (while tapering pretty manageable, after couple weeks holding, akathisia and extreme anxiety came back)

2018-01-29 Got to ZERO. A hard way down for sure. And now hoping for improvements along the way... Tapering melatonin gave me dystonic reactions however.
14 months after zero: Alternating akathisia, dystonic reactions and WD. Very unstable. No meds whatsoever. 31 months after zero: dystonia got worse, still very high anxiety, and many symptoms... no healing in sight. Adverse reaction destroyed me.

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Day 32 since the updose to 5mg: Light anxiety in the morning, subsided in a couple hours and felt at times as good as the day before yesterday, which was the best day yet. The evening had it's normal(!) moments and at times I forgot the misery and anxiety completely. Work went pretty good amd interaction with other people was pleasant. Nice. Looking forward to tomorrow for the first time in weeks.

Origin of Panic Attack and Anxiety Disorder: Overdose of Hallucinogenic HOT-7.

2013-09 20mg escitalopram. In the 4 first months 0.5-1mg/day Alprazolam for sleep & difficult situations.

Tapered the first time from 20mg to 0mg in 17 months or so. Withdrawal 6-8 weeks after last dose. Didn't taper enough to low enough doses (+-1mg).

2015-01-02 Back on 10mg after one week of delayed withdrawal. Stable in 8 days.

Second time tapered 2 years from 10mg to 1.6mg. Stable for half a year in range 2.5mg-1.6mg.

2017-07-28 Measurement errors: went for 1-2 weeks on 2mg. Restlessness and anxiety. Tried back to go back to 1.7mg for 5 days. Anxiety stayed.

2017-08-03 - 2017-08-20 Switched to liquid Lexapro 20mg/ml (1 drop is 1mg). Updosed to 2mg hoping to stabilize. Horrible Panic and Anxiety. Hold for 17 days hoping to stabilize. Didn't work enough for me at the time.

2017-08-20 End of holiday approaching. No more time. Decision to up dose to 5mg escitalopram. Back to the pills. Tapering alprazolam.

A lot of side effects: Akathisia, more anxiety, very troubling sleep, every thought and movement gave me panic attacks. Worst time of my life. I did learn coping skills in this period. A lot. Mastering meditation, mastering floating technique and more Claire Weekes stuff... Can handle extreme anxiety pretty decent now.

2017-09-30 Going down again because holding got worse almost every day. ADVICE TO OTHER ESCITALOPRAM PEOPLE, if updose doesn't work in two weeks, go down again!!! WD is not as brutal as adverse updose effects! After every taper (while tapering pretty manageable, after couple weeks holding, akathisia and extreme anxiety came back)

2018-01-29 Got to ZERO. A hard way down for sure. And now hoping for improvements along the way... Tapering melatonin gave me dystonic reactions however.
14 months after zero: Alternating akathisia, dystonic reactions and WD. Very unstable. No meds whatsoever. 31 months after zero: dystonia got worse, still very high anxiety, and many symptoms... no healing in sight. Adverse reaction destroyed me.

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Day 33: A very good day. The best yet. Almost no anxiety and work went very good. Lovely evening. Forgot my problems most of the time. The morning of day 34 isn't bad either.

Origin of Panic Attack and Anxiety Disorder: Overdose of Hallucinogenic HOT-7.

2013-09 20mg escitalopram. In the 4 first months 0.5-1mg/day Alprazolam for sleep & difficult situations.

Tapered the first time from 20mg to 0mg in 17 months or so. Withdrawal 6-8 weeks after last dose. Didn't taper enough to low enough doses (+-1mg).

2015-01-02 Back on 10mg after one week of delayed withdrawal. Stable in 8 days.

Second time tapered 2 years from 10mg to 1.6mg. Stable for half a year in range 2.5mg-1.6mg.

2017-07-28 Measurement errors: went for 1-2 weeks on 2mg. Restlessness and anxiety. Tried back to go back to 1.7mg for 5 days. Anxiety stayed.

2017-08-03 - 2017-08-20 Switched to liquid Lexapro 20mg/ml (1 drop is 1mg). Updosed to 2mg hoping to stabilize. Horrible Panic and Anxiety. Hold for 17 days hoping to stabilize. Didn't work enough for me at the time.

2017-08-20 End of holiday approaching. No more time. Decision to up dose to 5mg escitalopram. Back to the pills. Tapering alprazolam.

A lot of side effects: Akathisia, more anxiety, very troubling sleep, every thought and movement gave me panic attacks. Worst time of my life. I did learn coping skills in this period. A lot. Mastering meditation, mastering floating technique and more Claire Weekes stuff... Can handle extreme anxiety pretty decent now.

2017-09-30 Going down again because holding got worse almost every day. ADVICE TO OTHER ESCITALOPRAM PEOPLE, if updose doesn't work in two weeks, go down again!!! WD is not as brutal as adverse updose effects! After every taper (while tapering pretty manageable, after couple weeks holding, akathisia and extreme anxiety came back)

2018-01-29 Got to ZERO. A hard way down for sure. And now hoping for improvements along the way... Tapering melatonin gave me dystonic reactions however.
14 months after zero: Alternating akathisia, dystonic reactions and WD. Very unstable. No meds whatsoever. 31 months after zero: dystonia got worse, still very high anxiety, and many symptoms... no healing in sight. Adverse reaction destroyed me.

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Day 34: Day started very good, around noon some bad anxiety, afternoon and evening OK.

 

Day 35: Day started with light anxiety, manageable. Fixed the roof of my house, afternoon and early evening very good. Later on the evening not as good.

 

Day 36: Day started with anxiety, a lot more anxiety later, around noon a little bit better. Afternoon OK, evening not as good. Feel fed up with it. Again thinking of dropping. Almost every day has a couple of hours with anxiety. Today was a day without any stressors and still so much anxiety :( The 6th week has had a wonderful start... Two days ago I posted that I had no more intense anxiety. I have to take it back.

 

Just asking: if I would like to go down after 2 months updosing, how fast should I go? 10%/month is a very long time for 2 months, no? Is 10%/week OK?

 

 

 

 

 

Origin of Panic Attack and Anxiety Disorder: Overdose of Hallucinogenic HOT-7.

2013-09 20mg escitalopram. In the 4 first months 0.5-1mg/day Alprazolam for sleep & difficult situations.

Tapered the first time from 20mg to 0mg in 17 months or so. Withdrawal 6-8 weeks after last dose. Didn't taper enough to low enough doses (+-1mg).

2015-01-02 Back on 10mg after one week of delayed withdrawal. Stable in 8 days.

Second time tapered 2 years from 10mg to 1.6mg. Stable for half a year in range 2.5mg-1.6mg.

2017-07-28 Measurement errors: went for 1-2 weeks on 2mg. Restlessness and anxiety. Tried back to go back to 1.7mg for 5 days. Anxiety stayed.

2017-08-03 - 2017-08-20 Switched to liquid Lexapro 20mg/ml (1 drop is 1mg). Updosed to 2mg hoping to stabilize. Horrible Panic and Anxiety. Hold for 17 days hoping to stabilize. Didn't work enough for me at the time.

2017-08-20 End of holiday approaching. No more time. Decision to up dose to 5mg escitalopram. Back to the pills. Tapering alprazolam.

A lot of side effects: Akathisia, more anxiety, very troubling sleep, every thought and movement gave me panic attacks. Worst time of my life. I did learn coping skills in this period. A lot. Mastering meditation, mastering floating technique and more Claire Weekes stuff... Can handle extreme anxiety pretty decent now.

2017-09-30 Going down again because holding got worse almost every day. ADVICE TO OTHER ESCITALOPRAM PEOPLE, if updose doesn't work in two weeks, go down again!!! WD is not as brutal as adverse updose effects! After every taper (while tapering pretty manageable, after couple weeks holding, akathisia and extreme anxiety came back)

2018-01-29 Got to ZERO. A hard way down for sure. And now hoping for improvements along the way... Tapering melatonin gave me dystonic reactions however.
14 months after zero: Alternating akathisia, dystonic reactions and WD. Very unstable. No meds whatsoever. 31 months after zero: dystonia got worse, still very high anxiety, and many symptoms... no healing in sight. Adverse reaction destroyed me.

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Day 37: A good day. Not much anxiety in the morning, almost none the rest of the day. Nice. Today however is not as nice. Al least not yet. It began good until I took the pill...

 

 

Origin of Panic Attack and Anxiety Disorder: Overdose of Hallucinogenic HOT-7.

2013-09 20mg escitalopram. In the 4 first months 0.5-1mg/day Alprazolam for sleep & difficult situations.

Tapered the first time from 20mg to 0mg in 17 months or so. Withdrawal 6-8 weeks after last dose. Didn't taper enough to low enough doses (+-1mg).

2015-01-02 Back on 10mg after one week of delayed withdrawal. Stable in 8 days.

Second time tapered 2 years from 10mg to 1.6mg. Stable for half a year in range 2.5mg-1.6mg.

2017-07-28 Measurement errors: went for 1-2 weeks on 2mg. Restlessness and anxiety. Tried back to go back to 1.7mg for 5 days. Anxiety stayed.

2017-08-03 - 2017-08-20 Switched to liquid Lexapro 20mg/ml (1 drop is 1mg). Updosed to 2mg hoping to stabilize. Horrible Panic and Anxiety. Hold for 17 days hoping to stabilize. Didn't work enough for me at the time.

2017-08-20 End of holiday approaching. No more time. Decision to up dose to 5mg escitalopram. Back to the pills. Tapering alprazolam.

A lot of side effects: Akathisia, more anxiety, very troubling sleep, every thought and movement gave me panic attacks. Worst time of my life. I did learn coping skills in this period. A lot. Mastering meditation, mastering floating technique and more Claire Weekes stuff... Can handle extreme anxiety pretty decent now.

2017-09-30 Going down again because holding got worse almost every day. ADVICE TO OTHER ESCITALOPRAM PEOPLE, if updose doesn't work in two weeks, go down again!!! WD is not as brutal as adverse updose effects! After every taper (while tapering pretty manageable, after couple weeks holding, akathisia and extreme anxiety came back)

2018-01-29 Got to ZERO. A hard way down for sure. And now hoping for improvements along the way... Tapering melatonin gave me dystonic reactions however.
14 months after zero: Alternating akathisia, dystonic reactions and WD. Very unstable. No meds whatsoever. 31 months after zero: dystonia got worse, still very high anxiety, and many symptoms... no healing in sight. Adverse reaction destroyed me.

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Oh I hope it gets better! Cheering for you over here!!

2001- Klonopin 0.125 mg.  2011- increase to 1 mg.  2018- increase to 1.5 mg 

2010- Trials of SSRI's, several.

2011- Saphris 5 mg. CT. 6/2017- retry Saphris 5 mg sublingual, begin taper August 2020 10% taper with scale, and final taper liquid sublingual, August 2019- taper complete!

2011- Geodon 20 mg. Begin taper Sept 2019. 10% liquid taper. 2020: December-5 mg. 2021: Jan-4.5mg. (held Feb.for vacation). March-4mg. Apr-3.6mg. May-3.2mg. June-2.8mg. (Held July for vacation). Aug-2.4mg. Sept.- 2.2mg. Oct. 2mg. Dec 2022 - Taper complete!

2011- Gabapentin 300 mg to present- 2020. Increase 2023 to 400mg.

2014- Vyvanse 20 mg, 2020- Vyvanse 5 mg. Increase August 2022 20mg

2016- Lithium 300 mg, June 2016 - FT.

2017- Cogentin 0.5 mg. June-August 2019- off Cogentin.

2021 - Hydroxyzine 30mg. Holding.

Omeprazole 20 mg and holding, Omega 3's/fish oil, Magnesium

 

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Thank you!

 

Still holding here. ;)

 

I just read that you are still in the same situation as me.  Keeping the spirit alive. B)

Origin of Panic Attack and Anxiety Disorder: Overdose of Hallucinogenic HOT-7.

2013-09 20mg escitalopram. In the 4 first months 0.5-1mg/day Alprazolam for sleep & difficult situations.

Tapered the first time from 20mg to 0mg in 17 months or so. Withdrawal 6-8 weeks after last dose. Didn't taper enough to low enough doses (+-1mg).

2015-01-02 Back on 10mg after one week of delayed withdrawal. Stable in 8 days.

Second time tapered 2 years from 10mg to 1.6mg. Stable for half a year in range 2.5mg-1.6mg.

2017-07-28 Measurement errors: went for 1-2 weeks on 2mg. Restlessness and anxiety. Tried back to go back to 1.7mg for 5 days. Anxiety stayed.

2017-08-03 - 2017-08-20 Switched to liquid Lexapro 20mg/ml (1 drop is 1mg). Updosed to 2mg hoping to stabilize. Horrible Panic and Anxiety. Hold for 17 days hoping to stabilize. Didn't work enough for me at the time.

2017-08-20 End of holiday approaching. No more time. Decision to up dose to 5mg escitalopram. Back to the pills. Tapering alprazolam.

A lot of side effects: Akathisia, more anxiety, very troubling sleep, every thought and movement gave me panic attacks. Worst time of my life. I did learn coping skills in this period. A lot. Mastering meditation, mastering floating technique and more Claire Weekes stuff... Can handle extreme anxiety pretty decent now.

2017-09-30 Going down again because holding got worse almost every day. ADVICE TO OTHER ESCITALOPRAM PEOPLE, if updose doesn't work in two weeks, go down again!!! WD is not as brutal as adverse updose effects! After every taper (while tapering pretty manageable, after couple weeks holding, akathisia and extreme anxiety came back)

2018-01-29 Got to ZERO. A hard way down for sure. And now hoping for improvements along the way... Tapering melatonin gave me dystonic reactions however.
14 months after zero: Alternating akathisia, dystonic reactions and WD. Very unstable. No meds whatsoever. 31 months after zero: dystonia got worse, still very high anxiety, and many symptoms... no healing in sight. Adverse reaction destroyed me.

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Day 38: Anxiety in the morning until noon. Better in the afternoon but a lot of brainfog and a lot less anxiety. Later in the evening better without anxiety.

 

Day 39 and I'm feeling sick, throat hurts, a bit flu like, but now for real instead of updose side effects. Not easy with anxiety, side effects and sickness combined... Got my package magnesium citrate in the mail, trying this at the moment against the anxiety. I used until now magnesium oxide, lets see if there is a difference. Pills are 400mg. Going to split in 4 to take 2-3 times a day.

 

I ordered epsom salts (magnesium sulfate) to try in the evening. Do you guys use 100mg in a footbath?

 

On the side; it seems that I'm changing moods less than previous week. If I have a good day, it stays until the evening. If I have a bad day, the same until the late evening. Maybe this is going more towards stabilisation?

 

 

 

 

 

 

Origin of Panic Attack and Anxiety Disorder: Overdose of Hallucinogenic HOT-7.

2013-09 20mg escitalopram. In the 4 first months 0.5-1mg/day Alprazolam for sleep & difficult situations.

Tapered the first time from 20mg to 0mg in 17 months or so. Withdrawal 6-8 weeks after last dose. Didn't taper enough to low enough doses (+-1mg).

2015-01-02 Back on 10mg after one week of delayed withdrawal. Stable in 8 days.

Second time tapered 2 years from 10mg to 1.6mg. Stable for half a year in range 2.5mg-1.6mg.

2017-07-28 Measurement errors: went for 1-2 weeks on 2mg. Restlessness and anxiety. Tried back to go back to 1.7mg for 5 days. Anxiety stayed.

2017-08-03 - 2017-08-20 Switched to liquid Lexapro 20mg/ml (1 drop is 1mg). Updosed to 2mg hoping to stabilize. Horrible Panic and Anxiety. Hold for 17 days hoping to stabilize. Didn't work enough for me at the time.

2017-08-20 End of holiday approaching. No more time. Decision to up dose to 5mg escitalopram. Back to the pills. Tapering alprazolam.

A lot of side effects: Akathisia, more anxiety, very troubling sleep, every thought and movement gave me panic attacks. Worst time of my life. I did learn coping skills in this period. A lot. Mastering meditation, mastering floating technique and more Claire Weekes stuff... Can handle extreme anxiety pretty decent now.

2017-09-30 Going down again because holding got worse almost every day. ADVICE TO OTHER ESCITALOPRAM PEOPLE, if updose doesn't work in two weeks, go down again!!! WD is not as brutal as adverse updose effects! After every taper (while tapering pretty manageable, after couple weeks holding, akathisia and extreme anxiety came back)

2018-01-29 Got to ZERO. A hard way down for sure. And now hoping for improvements along the way... Tapering melatonin gave me dystonic reactions however.
14 months after zero: Alternating akathisia, dystonic reactions and WD. Very unstable. No meds whatsoever. 31 months after zero: dystonia got worse, still very high anxiety, and many symptoms... no healing in sight. Adverse reaction destroyed me.

Link to comment

I also just got my citrate. Waiting one more week to start after adding fish oil!

2001- Klonopin 0.125 mg.  2011- increase to 1 mg.  2018- increase to 1.5 mg 

2010- Trials of SSRI's, several.

2011- Saphris 5 mg. CT. 6/2017- retry Saphris 5 mg sublingual, begin taper August 2020 10% taper with scale, and final taper liquid sublingual, August 2019- taper complete!

2011- Geodon 20 mg. Begin taper Sept 2019. 10% liquid taper. 2020: December-5 mg. 2021: Jan-4.5mg. (held Feb.for vacation). March-4mg. Apr-3.6mg. May-3.2mg. June-2.8mg. (Held July for vacation). Aug-2.4mg. Sept.- 2.2mg. Oct. 2mg. Dec 2022 - Taper complete!

2011- Gabapentin 300 mg to present- 2020. Increase 2023 to 400mg.

2014- Vyvanse 20 mg, 2020- Vyvanse 5 mg. Increase August 2022 20mg

2016- Lithium 300 mg, June 2016 - FT.

2017- Cogentin 0.5 mg. June-August 2019- off Cogentin.

2021 - Hydroxyzine 30mg. Holding.

Omeprazole 20 mg and holding, Omega 3's/fish oil, Magnesium

 

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Magnesium seems to help me. Fish oil didn't do anything for me with the updosing except very greasy skin. Maybe withdrawal is a completely different story. If you have anxiety, do try it, it can help to take the edge of. It seems to be fast acting, so you will know if it works or not in a short while.

Origin of Panic Attack and Anxiety Disorder: Overdose of Hallucinogenic HOT-7.

2013-09 20mg escitalopram. In the 4 first months 0.5-1mg/day Alprazolam for sleep & difficult situations.

Tapered the first time from 20mg to 0mg in 17 months or so. Withdrawal 6-8 weeks after last dose. Didn't taper enough to low enough doses (+-1mg).

2015-01-02 Back on 10mg after one week of delayed withdrawal. Stable in 8 days.

Second time tapered 2 years from 10mg to 1.6mg. Stable for half a year in range 2.5mg-1.6mg.

2017-07-28 Measurement errors: went for 1-2 weeks on 2mg. Restlessness and anxiety. Tried back to go back to 1.7mg for 5 days. Anxiety stayed.

2017-08-03 - 2017-08-20 Switched to liquid Lexapro 20mg/ml (1 drop is 1mg). Updosed to 2mg hoping to stabilize. Horrible Panic and Anxiety. Hold for 17 days hoping to stabilize. Didn't work enough for me at the time.

2017-08-20 End of holiday approaching. No more time. Decision to up dose to 5mg escitalopram. Back to the pills. Tapering alprazolam.

A lot of side effects: Akathisia, more anxiety, very troubling sleep, every thought and movement gave me panic attacks. Worst time of my life. I did learn coping skills in this period. A lot. Mastering meditation, mastering floating technique and more Claire Weekes stuff... Can handle extreme anxiety pretty decent now.

2017-09-30 Going down again because holding got worse almost every day. ADVICE TO OTHER ESCITALOPRAM PEOPLE, if updose doesn't work in two weeks, go down again!!! WD is not as brutal as adverse updose effects! After every taper (while tapering pretty manageable, after couple weeks holding, akathisia and extreme anxiety came back)

2018-01-29 Got to ZERO. A hard way down for sure. And now hoping for improvements along the way... Tapering melatonin gave me dystonic reactions however.
14 months after zero: Alternating akathisia, dystonic reactions and WD. Very unstable. No meds whatsoever. 31 months after zero: dystonia got worse, still very high anxiety, and many symptoms... no healing in sight. Adverse reaction destroyed me.

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Day 39: Anxiety in the morning, during the day, and in the evening. Did took 20mg zinc twice, in the morning and evening. Did not sleep well at all! Sweating profusely, and very restless. Today day 40, again anxiety very high and very restless.

 

Could this be due to the zinc? Or else things are not changing for the better at all! Didn't have this anxiety for a while now. Very disturbing...

 

I keep a diary following my progress on the updose regarding my well-being. The last week is going downhill after going uphill for 3 weeks. The side-effects are worsening. I had one very good day 4 days ago, but it has turned worse the last couple of days.

Origin of Panic Attack and Anxiety Disorder: Overdose of Hallucinogenic HOT-7.

2013-09 20mg escitalopram. In the 4 first months 0.5-1mg/day Alprazolam for sleep & difficult situations.

Tapered the first time from 20mg to 0mg in 17 months or so. Withdrawal 6-8 weeks after last dose. Didn't taper enough to low enough doses (+-1mg).

2015-01-02 Back on 10mg after one week of delayed withdrawal. Stable in 8 days.

Second time tapered 2 years from 10mg to 1.6mg. Stable for half a year in range 2.5mg-1.6mg.

2017-07-28 Measurement errors: went for 1-2 weeks on 2mg. Restlessness and anxiety. Tried back to go back to 1.7mg for 5 days. Anxiety stayed.

2017-08-03 - 2017-08-20 Switched to liquid Lexapro 20mg/ml (1 drop is 1mg). Updosed to 2mg hoping to stabilize. Horrible Panic and Anxiety. Hold for 17 days hoping to stabilize. Didn't work enough for me at the time.

2017-08-20 End of holiday approaching. No more time. Decision to up dose to 5mg escitalopram. Back to the pills. Tapering alprazolam.

A lot of side effects: Akathisia, more anxiety, very troubling sleep, every thought and movement gave me panic attacks. Worst time of my life. I did learn coping skills in this period. A lot. Mastering meditation, mastering floating technique and more Claire Weekes stuff... Can handle extreme anxiety pretty decent now.

2017-09-30 Going down again because holding got worse almost every day. ADVICE TO OTHER ESCITALOPRAM PEOPLE, if updose doesn't work in two weeks, go down again!!! WD is not as brutal as adverse updose effects! After every taper (while tapering pretty manageable, after couple weeks holding, akathisia and extreme anxiety came back)

2018-01-29 Got to ZERO. A hard way down for sure. And now hoping for improvements along the way... Tapering melatonin gave me dystonic reactions however.
14 months after zero: Alternating akathisia, dystonic reactions and WD. Very unstable. No meds whatsoever. 31 months after zero: dystonia got worse, still very high anxiety, and many symptoms... no healing in sight. Adverse reaction destroyed me.

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Anxiety is sky high today. Nothing like the previous two weeks...

Origin of Panic Attack and Anxiety Disorder: Overdose of Hallucinogenic HOT-7.

2013-09 20mg escitalopram. In the 4 first months 0.5-1mg/day Alprazolam for sleep & difficult situations.

Tapered the first time from 20mg to 0mg in 17 months or so. Withdrawal 6-8 weeks after last dose. Didn't taper enough to low enough doses (+-1mg).

2015-01-02 Back on 10mg after one week of delayed withdrawal. Stable in 8 days.

Second time tapered 2 years from 10mg to 1.6mg. Stable for half a year in range 2.5mg-1.6mg.

2017-07-28 Measurement errors: went for 1-2 weeks on 2mg. Restlessness and anxiety. Tried back to go back to 1.7mg for 5 days. Anxiety stayed.

2017-08-03 - 2017-08-20 Switched to liquid Lexapro 20mg/ml (1 drop is 1mg). Updosed to 2mg hoping to stabilize. Horrible Panic and Anxiety. Hold for 17 days hoping to stabilize. Didn't work enough for me at the time.

2017-08-20 End of holiday approaching. No more time. Decision to up dose to 5mg escitalopram. Back to the pills. Tapering alprazolam.

A lot of side effects: Akathisia, more anxiety, very troubling sleep, every thought and movement gave me panic attacks. Worst time of my life. I did learn coping skills in this period. A lot. Mastering meditation, mastering floating technique and more Claire Weekes stuff... Can handle extreme anxiety pretty decent now.

2017-09-30 Going down again because holding got worse almost every day. ADVICE TO OTHER ESCITALOPRAM PEOPLE, if updose doesn't work in two weeks, go down again!!! WD is not as brutal as adverse updose effects! After every taper (while tapering pretty manageable, after couple weeks holding, akathisia and extreme anxiety came back)

2018-01-29 Got to ZERO. A hard way down for sure. And now hoping for improvements along the way... Tapering melatonin gave me dystonic reactions however.
14 months after zero: Alternating akathisia, dystonic reactions and WD. Very unstable. No meds whatsoever. 31 months after zero: dystonia got worse, still very high anxiety, and many symptoms... no healing in sight. Adverse reaction destroyed me.

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So sorry to hear! 

Hope its just part of stablization get and settles by itself soon.

 

 

Drug free Sep. 23 2017

2009 Mar.: lexapro 10mg for headache for 2 weeks.

2009-2012: on and off 1/4 to 1/3 of 10mg

2012 June--2013 Jan,: 1/4-1/3 of 10mg generic, bad jaw pain

2013 Jan-Mar: 10 mg generic. severe jaw and head pain;

2013 Mar--Aug. started tapering (liquid ever since) from 10 to 5 (one step) then gradually down to 2.25 mg by July. first ever panic attack, severe head/jaw pain

2013 Aug.: back to 2.75 mg; Nov: back to Brand Lex. 2.75mg -- 3mg,

2014 June: stopped PPI, head pressure/numbness. up-dosed 4.5mg, severe reaction mental symptoms added on

2014 Aug--2015 Aug: Micro taper down to 3.2mg, .025mg (<1%) cut holding 2-3 weeks.

2015 Aug 15th, Accidental one dose of 4.2mg. worsening brain non-functional, swollen head, body, coma like, DR

2016 Feb., started dosing 10am through 11 pm everyday 2/13--3.2mg, 3/15-- 2.9mg, 4/19-- 2.6mg, 6/26--2.2mg, 7/22 --1.9mg, 8/16--1.8mg,8/31--1.7m g, 9/13--1.6mg, 9/27--1.5mg, 10/8--1.4mg, 10/14--1.3mg, 11/1--1.2mg, 11/29--1.1mg, 12/12--1mg, 12/22--0.9mg

2017: 1/7--0.8mg, 1/15--0.7mg, 1/17--0.6mg, 1/20--0.52, 1/21--0.4mg, 1/22--0.26, 1/23--0.2, 2/13--0.13mg, 2/20--0.06mg, 3/18--0.13mg, 6/1--0.12mg, 7/6--0.1mg, 7/14--0.08mg, 8/17--0.04mg, 8/20--0.03mg, 8/28--0.02mg, 9/6--0.0205mg, 9/8--0.02mg, 9/17--0.015mg, 9/20--0.01mg, 9/21--0.0048mg, 9/22--0.0001mg,

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Sure hope so. I'm giving it a couple more days. If there is no improvement whatsoever, I'm going to start tapering down very slowly. I feel agitated the whole time. Sleep was bad again...

Origin of Panic Attack and Anxiety Disorder: Overdose of Hallucinogenic HOT-7.

2013-09 20mg escitalopram. In the 4 first months 0.5-1mg/day Alprazolam for sleep & difficult situations.

Tapered the first time from 20mg to 0mg in 17 months or so. Withdrawal 6-8 weeks after last dose. Didn't taper enough to low enough doses (+-1mg).

2015-01-02 Back on 10mg after one week of delayed withdrawal. Stable in 8 days.

Second time tapered 2 years from 10mg to 1.6mg. Stable for half a year in range 2.5mg-1.6mg.

2017-07-28 Measurement errors: went for 1-2 weeks on 2mg. Restlessness and anxiety. Tried back to go back to 1.7mg for 5 days. Anxiety stayed.

2017-08-03 - 2017-08-20 Switched to liquid Lexapro 20mg/ml (1 drop is 1mg). Updosed to 2mg hoping to stabilize. Horrible Panic and Anxiety. Hold for 17 days hoping to stabilize. Didn't work enough for me at the time.

2017-08-20 End of holiday approaching. No more time. Decision to up dose to 5mg escitalopram. Back to the pills. Tapering alprazolam.

A lot of side effects: Akathisia, more anxiety, very troubling sleep, every thought and movement gave me panic attacks. Worst time of my life. I did learn coping skills in this period. A lot. Mastering meditation, mastering floating technique and more Claire Weekes stuff... Can handle extreme anxiety pretty decent now.

2017-09-30 Going down again because holding got worse almost every day. ADVICE TO OTHER ESCITALOPRAM PEOPLE, if updose doesn't work in two weeks, go down again!!! WD is not as brutal as adverse updose effects! After every taper (while tapering pretty manageable, after couple weeks holding, akathisia and extreme anxiety came back)

2018-01-29 Got to ZERO. A hard way down for sure. And now hoping for improvements along the way... Tapering melatonin gave me dystonic reactions however.
14 months after zero: Alternating akathisia, dystonic reactions and WD. Very unstable. No meds whatsoever. 31 months after zero: dystonia got worse, still very high anxiety, and many symptoms... no healing in sight. Adverse reaction destroyed me.

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Day 40 and 41: Anxiety and restlessness very high. On day 40 not a moment without anxiety and bad sleep, on day 41 even more anxiety and restlessness. I calmed down around 20u. But still anxiety.

 

Day 42: Very high anxiety in the morning, and took the decision to go down a bit for a couple of days. 4.6mg today. So far the same as yesterday. Let's see what the following days are going to be. Holding wasn't working out for me. It seems I'm too sensitive to the drug.

Origin of Panic Attack and Anxiety Disorder: Overdose of Hallucinogenic HOT-7.

2013-09 20mg escitalopram. In the 4 first months 0.5-1mg/day Alprazolam for sleep & difficult situations.

Tapered the first time from 20mg to 0mg in 17 months or so. Withdrawal 6-8 weeks after last dose. Didn't taper enough to low enough doses (+-1mg).

2015-01-02 Back on 10mg after one week of delayed withdrawal. Stable in 8 days.

Second time tapered 2 years from 10mg to 1.6mg. Stable for half a year in range 2.5mg-1.6mg.

2017-07-28 Measurement errors: went for 1-2 weeks on 2mg. Restlessness and anxiety. Tried back to go back to 1.7mg for 5 days. Anxiety stayed.

2017-08-03 - 2017-08-20 Switched to liquid Lexapro 20mg/ml (1 drop is 1mg). Updosed to 2mg hoping to stabilize. Horrible Panic and Anxiety. Hold for 17 days hoping to stabilize. Didn't work enough for me at the time.

2017-08-20 End of holiday approaching. No more time. Decision to up dose to 5mg escitalopram. Back to the pills. Tapering alprazolam.

A lot of side effects: Akathisia, more anxiety, very troubling sleep, every thought and movement gave me panic attacks. Worst time of my life. I did learn coping skills in this period. A lot. Mastering meditation, mastering floating technique and more Claire Weekes stuff... Can handle extreme anxiety pretty decent now.

2017-09-30 Going down again because holding got worse almost every day. ADVICE TO OTHER ESCITALOPRAM PEOPLE, if updose doesn't work in two weeks, go down again!!! WD is not as brutal as adverse updose effects! After every taper (while tapering pretty manageable, after couple weeks holding, akathisia and extreme anxiety came back)

2018-01-29 Got to ZERO. A hard way down for sure. And now hoping for improvements along the way... Tapering melatonin gave me dystonic reactions however.
14 months after zero: Alternating akathisia, dystonic reactions and WD. Very unstable. No meds whatsoever. 31 months after zero: dystonia got worse, still very high anxiety, and many symptoms... no healing in sight. Adverse reaction destroyed me.

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Gosh, I'm so sorry thewayback

Not knowing the cause (two opposite evils) is the most frustrating part of the already super different process.

 

For me, I can feel the effect of cut the next day, although it says it takes 4 days for dose change to be effective.

 

hope you get some relief soon.

Drug free Sep. 23 2017

2009 Mar.: lexapro 10mg for headache for 2 weeks.

2009-2012: on and off 1/4 to 1/3 of 10mg

2012 June--2013 Jan,: 1/4-1/3 of 10mg generic, bad jaw pain

2013 Jan-Mar: 10 mg generic. severe jaw and head pain;

2013 Mar--Aug. started tapering (liquid ever since) from 10 to 5 (one step) then gradually down to 2.25 mg by July. first ever panic attack, severe head/jaw pain

2013 Aug.: back to 2.75 mg; Nov: back to Brand Lex. 2.75mg -- 3mg,

2014 June: stopped PPI, head pressure/numbness. up-dosed 4.5mg, severe reaction mental symptoms added on

2014 Aug--2015 Aug: Micro taper down to 3.2mg, .025mg (<1%) cut holding 2-3 weeks.

2015 Aug 15th, Accidental one dose of 4.2mg. worsening brain non-functional, swollen head, body, coma like, DR

2016 Feb., started dosing 10am through 11 pm everyday 2/13--3.2mg, 3/15-- 2.9mg, 4/19-- 2.6mg, 6/26--2.2mg, 7/22 --1.9mg, 8/16--1.8mg,8/31--1.7m g, 9/13--1.6mg, 9/27--1.5mg, 10/8--1.4mg, 10/14--1.3mg, 11/1--1.2mg, 11/29--1.1mg, 12/12--1mg, 12/22--0.9mg

2017: 1/7--0.8mg, 1/15--0.7mg, 1/17--0.6mg, 1/20--0.52, 1/21--0.4mg, 1/22--0.26, 1/23--0.2, 2/13--0.13mg, 2/20--0.06mg, 3/18--0.13mg, 6/1--0.12mg, 7/6--0.1mg, 7/14--0.08mg, 8/17--0.04mg, 8/20--0.03mg, 8/28--0.02mg, 9/6--0.0205mg, 9/8--0.02mg, 9/17--0.015mg, 9/20--0.01mg, 9/21--0.0048mg, 9/22--0.0001mg,

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Indeed, it is very frustrating! I'll see how it pans out, but the plans is going down faster than recommended because the anxiety is worsening every day. I can't function properly anymore. The anxiety in the morning is much more intense and so is the anxiety after the pill.

 

I don't expect to feel better today, although it would be nice ;) I think I'll feel better when I am approaching 2mg. I only went up considerably (from 2 to 5mg)  for 41 days. So I think a fast taper could work.

 

But nonetheless, thank you for the kind words! I sure hope you too get some relief soon.

Origin of Panic Attack and Anxiety Disorder: Overdose of Hallucinogenic HOT-7.

2013-09 20mg escitalopram. In the 4 first months 0.5-1mg/day Alprazolam for sleep & difficult situations.

Tapered the first time from 20mg to 0mg in 17 months or so. Withdrawal 6-8 weeks after last dose. Didn't taper enough to low enough doses (+-1mg).

2015-01-02 Back on 10mg after one week of delayed withdrawal. Stable in 8 days.

Second time tapered 2 years from 10mg to 1.6mg. Stable for half a year in range 2.5mg-1.6mg.

2017-07-28 Measurement errors: went for 1-2 weeks on 2mg. Restlessness and anxiety. Tried back to go back to 1.7mg for 5 days. Anxiety stayed.

2017-08-03 - 2017-08-20 Switched to liquid Lexapro 20mg/ml (1 drop is 1mg). Updosed to 2mg hoping to stabilize. Horrible Panic and Anxiety. Hold for 17 days hoping to stabilize. Didn't work enough for me at the time.

2017-08-20 End of holiday approaching. No more time. Decision to up dose to 5mg escitalopram. Back to the pills. Tapering alprazolam.

A lot of side effects: Akathisia, more anxiety, very troubling sleep, every thought and movement gave me panic attacks. Worst time of my life. I did learn coping skills in this period. A lot. Mastering meditation, mastering floating technique and more Claire Weekes stuff... Can handle extreme anxiety pretty decent now.

2017-09-30 Going down again because holding got worse almost every day. ADVICE TO OTHER ESCITALOPRAM PEOPLE, if updose doesn't work in two weeks, go down again!!! WD is not as brutal as adverse updose effects! After every taper (while tapering pretty manageable, after couple weeks holding, akathisia and extreme anxiety came back)

2018-01-29 Got to ZERO. A hard way down for sure. And now hoping for improvements along the way... Tapering melatonin gave me dystonic reactions however.
14 months after zero: Alternating akathisia, dystonic reactions and WD. Very unstable. No meds whatsoever. 31 months after zero: dystonia got worse, still very high anxiety, and many symptoms... no healing in sight. Adverse reaction destroyed me.

Link to comment

Day 1 Of the dose reduction to 4.6mg: Bad, just as restless and anxious as yesterday, no difference whatsoever.

 

Day 2: A little bit better waking up, still very tense after taking the pill and very anxious. An intense panic attack followed. But could manage and function while the attack was going on. Thank you again Claire Weekes.  But around noon relief from the tension. Less anxiety, but alot of body aches (churning, lightheaded, little bit nauseous ...). But I felt human again for a while! Better than the previous week though (except wondermonday). Still very early to draw conclusions but a nice break from the tenseness altogether.

 

 

 

 

Origin of Panic Attack and Anxiety Disorder: Overdose of Hallucinogenic HOT-7.

2013-09 20mg escitalopram. In the 4 first months 0.5-1mg/day Alprazolam for sleep & difficult situations.

Tapered the first time from 20mg to 0mg in 17 months or so. Withdrawal 6-8 weeks after last dose. Didn't taper enough to low enough doses (+-1mg).

2015-01-02 Back on 10mg after one week of delayed withdrawal. Stable in 8 days.

Second time tapered 2 years from 10mg to 1.6mg. Stable for half a year in range 2.5mg-1.6mg.

2017-07-28 Measurement errors: went for 1-2 weeks on 2mg. Restlessness and anxiety. Tried back to go back to 1.7mg for 5 days. Anxiety stayed.

2017-08-03 - 2017-08-20 Switched to liquid Lexapro 20mg/ml (1 drop is 1mg). Updosed to 2mg hoping to stabilize. Horrible Panic and Anxiety. Hold for 17 days hoping to stabilize. Didn't work enough for me at the time.

2017-08-20 End of holiday approaching. No more time. Decision to up dose to 5mg escitalopram. Back to the pills. Tapering alprazolam.

A lot of side effects: Akathisia, more anxiety, very troubling sleep, every thought and movement gave me panic attacks. Worst time of my life. I did learn coping skills in this period. A lot. Mastering meditation, mastering floating technique and more Claire Weekes stuff... Can handle extreme anxiety pretty decent now.

2017-09-30 Going down again because holding got worse almost every day. ADVICE TO OTHER ESCITALOPRAM PEOPLE, if updose doesn't work in two weeks, go down again!!! WD is not as brutal as adverse updose effects! After every taper (while tapering pretty manageable, after couple weeks holding, akathisia and extreme anxiety came back)

2018-01-29 Got to ZERO. A hard way down for sure. And now hoping for improvements along the way... Tapering melatonin gave me dystonic reactions however.
14 months after zero: Alternating akathisia, dystonic reactions and WD. Very unstable. No meds whatsoever. 31 months after zero: dystonia got worse, still very high anxiety, and many symptoms... no healing in sight. Adverse reaction destroyed me.

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Day 3: Decreased my dose some more: 4.3mg. Restlessness and anxiety, just like the previous week, but the restlessness is a bit less. So relaxing is easier. My abilities to cope with anxiety improved quite a bit along the weeks. I'm doing everything I normally do (working, socializing, more work at home in the evening...). I have a window each evening when the pills lose a bit of their strength. Two cups of sleep-tea and 2.9mg melatonin and I fall asleep pretty easy.

 

Day 4 (again 4.3mg): Slept much better. Woke at 4.00am, but fell asleep again until 6.15am. Feel better, anxiety still present, but less restlessness. I will stay at this dose until the end of the week and reassess. I will not go up in dosage again, ever. If I stay stable, I will go to 4mg. Stable is off course subjective. I only take my level of anxiety and restlessless in account. I don't have other issues that are bothering me so much. If I would get more anxious at the end of the week, I'll hold.

 

Now 2 hours after taking the pill and the effects are increasing, my heart palpitations have started again and so the tightness in the chest.

So the plan is to go down gradually to 2mg at the end of the month. And hold there. And even face WD at that level. Updosing to 5mg was the stupidest thing I could do. The constant restlessness and hyperarousal I got after updosing to 5mg has made everything so much more difficult.

 

I'm still practising mindfulness with HeadSpace and it seems it is helping me to cope even better with the fear. I don't get overwhelmed anymore, even in the midst of a panic attack. It took some weeks training my coping skills, but they have improved tremendously. I even get panic attacks at work and in the car and I just go on with it. I have lost my fear of the fear. I think I have finally reached the point of accepting and not withdrawing from the fear. This is giving me a lot of hope on recovery. Even if I get panic attacks after this whole ordeal. I'll manage! Acceptance with time has also improved tremendously. I know that this won't be over when I reach 2mg and that it will need some more time. Now, it has been over two months of feeling very horrible, but somehow I'm much calmer now than in the beginning when I wanted every day to be the last of feeling bad. Even with the anxiety hitting me almost every hour of the day.

 

 

Origin of Panic Attack and Anxiety Disorder: Overdose of Hallucinogenic HOT-7.

2013-09 20mg escitalopram. In the 4 first months 0.5-1mg/day Alprazolam for sleep & difficult situations.

Tapered the first time from 20mg to 0mg in 17 months or so. Withdrawal 6-8 weeks after last dose. Didn't taper enough to low enough doses (+-1mg).

2015-01-02 Back on 10mg after one week of delayed withdrawal. Stable in 8 days.

Second time tapered 2 years from 10mg to 1.6mg. Stable for half a year in range 2.5mg-1.6mg.

2017-07-28 Measurement errors: went for 1-2 weeks on 2mg. Restlessness and anxiety. Tried back to go back to 1.7mg for 5 days. Anxiety stayed.

2017-08-03 - 2017-08-20 Switched to liquid Lexapro 20mg/ml (1 drop is 1mg). Updosed to 2mg hoping to stabilize. Horrible Panic and Anxiety. Hold for 17 days hoping to stabilize. Didn't work enough for me at the time.

2017-08-20 End of holiday approaching. No more time. Decision to up dose to 5mg escitalopram. Back to the pills. Tapering alprazolam.

A lot of side effects: Akathisia, more anxiety, very troubling sleep, every thought and movement gave me panic attacks. Worst time of my life. I did learn coping skills in this period. A lot. Mastering meditation, mastering floating technique and more Claire Weekes stuff... Can handle extreme anxiety pretty decent now.

2017-09-30 Going down again because holding got worse almost every day. ADVICE TO OTHER ESCITALOPRAM PEOPLE, if updose doesn't work in two weeks, go down again!!! WD is not as brutal as adverse updose effects! After every taper (while tapering pretty manageable, after couple weeks holding, akathisia and extreme anxiety came back)

2018-01-29 Got to ZERO. A hard way down for sure. And now hoping for improvements along the way... Tapering melatonin gave me dystonic reactions however.
14 months after zero: Alternating akathisia, dystonic reactions and WD. Very unstable. No meds whatsoever. 31 months after zero: dystonia got worse, still very high anxiety, and many symptoms... no healing in sight. Adverse reaction destroyed me.

Link to comment

Glad you got some relief from dropping the dose!

be careful about the opposite beast-- withdrawal along the way. It can be nasty too even the high dose is making harm on the other side. This is what I call dancing between the two evils.

 

Drug free Sep. 23 2017

2009 Mar.: lexapro 10mg for headache for 2 weeks.

2009-2012: on and off 1/4 to 1/3 of 10mg

2012 June--2013 Jan,: 1/4-1/3 of 10mg generic, bad jaw pain

2013 Jan-Mar: 10 mg generic. severe jaw and head pain;

2013 Mar--Aug. started tapering (liquid ever since) from 10 to 5 (one step) then gradually down to 2.25 mg by July. first ever panic attack, severe head/jaw pain

2013 Aug.: back to 2.75 mg; Nov: back to Brand Lex. 2.75mg -- 3mg,

2014 June: stopped PPI, head pressure/numbness. up-dosed 4.5mg, severe reaction mental symptoms added on

2014 Aug--2015 Aug: Micro taper down to 3.2mg, .025mg (<1%) cut holding 2-3 weeks.

2015 Aug 15th, Accidental one dose of 4.2mg. worsening brain non-functional, swollen head, body, coma like, DR

2016 Feb., started dosing 10am through 11 pm everyday 2/13--3.2mg, 3/15-- 2.9mg, 4/19-- 2.6mg, 6/26--2.2mg, 7/22 --1.9mg, 8/16--1.8mg,8/31--1.7m g, 9/13--1.6mg, 9/27--1.5mg, 10/8--1.4mg, 10/14--1.3mg, 11/1--1.2mg, 11/29--1.1mg, 12/12--1mg, 12/22--0.9mg

2017: 1/7--0.8mg, 1/15--0.7mg, 1/17--0.6mg, 1/20--0.52, 1/21--0.4mg, 1/22--0.26, 1/23--0.2, 2/13--0.13mg, 2/20--0.06mg, 3/18--0.13mg, 6/1--0.12mg, 7/6--0.1mg, 7/14--0.08mg, 8/17--0.04mg, 8/20--0.03mg, 8/28--0.02mg, 9/6--0.0205mg, 9/8--0.02mg, 9/17--0.015mg, 9/20--0.01mg, 9/21--0.0048mg, 9/22--0.0001mg,

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Thanks Lex, I will pay attention. If I feel WD, I'll go to the previous dose and hold there for a week or two. My updosing has been only 6 weeks, so tapering faster shouldn't pose a problem... But one never knows with these evil substances...

 

I felt so stuck holding and feeling so bad for the previous six weeks. This is such a relief, knowing that one can go down and even feeling better for it, although not much yet.

 

How are you doing at the moment, MisterLexZero?

Origin of Panic Attack and Anxiety Disorder: Overdose of Hallucinogenic HOT-7.

2013-09 20mg escitalopram. In the 4 first months 0.5-1mg/day Alprazolam for sleep & difficult situations.

Tapered the first time from 20mg to 0mg in 17 months or so. Withdrawal 6-8 weeks after last dose. Didn't taper enough to low enough doses (+-1mg).

2015-01-02 Back on 10mg after one week of delayed withdrawal. Stable in 8 days.

Second time tapered 2 years from 10mg to 1.6mg. Stable for half a year in range 2.5mg-1.6mg.

2017-07-28 Measurement errors: went for 1-2 weeks on 2mg. Restlessness and anxiety. Tried back to go back to 1.7mg for 5 days. Anxiety stayed.

2017-08-03 - 2017-08-20 Switched to liquid Lexapro 20mg/ml (1 drop is 1mg). Updosed to 2mg hoping to stabilize. Horrible Panic and Anxiety. Hold for 17 days hoping to stabilize. Didn't work enough for me at the time.

2017-08-20 End of holiday approaching. No more time. Decision to up dose to 5mg escitalopram. Back to the pills. Tapering alprazolam.

A lot of side effects: Akathisia, more anxiety, very troubling sleep, every thought and movement gave me panic attacks. Worst time of my life. I did learn coping skills in this period. A lot. Mastering meditation, mastering floating technique and more Claire Weekes stuff... Can handle extreme anxiety pretty decent now.

2017-09-30 Going down again because holding got worse almost every day. ADVICE TO OTHER ESCITALOPRAM PEOPLE, if updose doesn't work in two weeks, go down again!!! WD is not as brutal as adverse updose effects! After every taper (while tapering pretty manageable, after couple weeks holding, akathisia and extreme anxiety came back)

2018-01-29 Got to ZERO. A hard way down for sure. And now hoping for improvements along the way... Tapering melatonin gave me dystonic reactions however.
14 months after zero: Alternating akathisia, dystonic reactions and WD. Very unstable. No meds whatsoever. 31 months after zero: dystonia got worse, still very high anxiety, and many symptoms... no healing in sight. Adverse reaction destroyed me.

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Don't be too hart to yourself. This process is an extreme of constant trial and error in all ways and almost impossible not to make mistakes. I made the same mistake multiple time even AFTER I learned it.

 

 

Drug free Sep. 23 2017

2009 Mar.: lexapro 10mg for headache for 2 weeks.

2009-2012: on and off 1/4 to 1/3 of 10mg

2012 June--2013 Jan,: 1/4-1/3 of 10mg generic, bad jaw pain

2013 Jan-Mar: 10 mg generic. severe jaw and head pain;

2013 Mar--Aug. started tapering (liquid ever since) from 10 to 5 (one step) then gradually down to 2.25 mg by July. first ever panic attack, severe head/jaw pain

2013 Aug.: back to 2.75 mg; Nov: back to Brand Lex. 2.75mg -- 3mg,

2014 June: stopped PPI, head pressure/numbness. up-dosed 4.5mg, severe reaction mental symptoms added on

2014 Aug--2015 Aug: Micro taper down to 3.2mg, .025mg (<1%) cut holding 2-3 weeks.

2015 Aug 15th, Accidental one dose of 4.2mg. worsening brain non-functional, swollen head, body, coma like, DR

2016 Feb., started dosing 10am through 11 pm everyday 2/13--3.2mg, 3/15-- 2.9mg, 4/19-- 2.6mg, 6/26--2.2mg, 7/22 --1.9mg, 8/16--1.8mg,8/31--1.7m g, 9/13--1.6mg, 9/27--1.5mg, 10/8--1.4mg, 10/14--1.3mg, 11/1--1.2mg, 11/29--1.1mg, 12/12--1mg, 12/22--0.9mg

2017: 1/7--0.8mg, 1/15--0.7mg, 1/17--0.6mg, 1/20--0.52, 1/21--0.4mg, 1/22--0.26, 1/23--0.2, 2/13--0.13mg, 2/20--0.06mg, 3/18--0.13mg, 6/1--0.12mg, 7/6--0.1mg, 7/14--0.08mg, 8/17--0.04mg, 8/20--0.03mg, 8/28--0.02mg, 9/6--0.0205mg, 9/8--0.02mg, 9/17--0.015mg, 9/20--0.01mg, 9/21--0.0048mg, 9/22--0.0001mg,

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I'm amazed every time that we are left on our own to fix what these meds have done to us. If we would like to get better that is.

Origin of Panic Attack and Anxiety Disorder: Overdose of Hallucinogenic HOT-7.

2013-09 20mg escitalopram. In the 4 first months 0.5-1mg/day Alprazolam for sleep & difficult situations.

Tapered the first time from 20mg to 0mg in 17 months or so. Withdrawal 6-8 weeks after last dose. Didn't taper enough to low enough doses (+-1mg).

2015-01-02 Back on 10mg after one week of delayed withdrawal. Stable in 8 days.

Second time tapered 2 years from 10mg to 1.6mg. Stable for half a year in range 2.5mg-1.6mg.

2017-07-28 Measurement errors: went for 1-2 weeks on 2mg. Restlessness and anxiety. Tried back to go back to 1.7mg for 5 days. Anxiety stayed.

2017-08-03 - 2017-08-20 Switched to liquid Lexapro 20mg/ml (1 drop is 1mg). Updosed to 2mg hoping to stabilize. Horrible Panic and Anxiety. Hold for 17 days hoping to stabilize. Didn't work enough for me at the time.

2017-08-20 End of holiday approaching. No more time. Decision to up dose to 5mg escitalopram. Back to the pills. Tapering alprazolam.

A lot of side effects: Akathisia, more anxiety, very troubling sleep, every thought and movement gave me panic attacks. Worst time of my life. I did learn coping skills in this period. A lot. Mastering meditation, mastering floating technique and more Claire Weekes stuff... Can handle extreme anxiety pretty decent now.

2017-09-30 Going down again because holding got worse almost every day. ADVICE TO OTHER ESCITALOPRAM PEOPLE, if updose doesn't work in two weeks, go down again!!! WD is not as brutal as adverse updose effects! After every taper (while tapering pretty manageable, after couple weeks holding, akathisia and extreme anxiety came back)

2018-01-29 Got to ZERO. A hard way down for sure. And now hoping for improvements along the way... Tapering melatonin gave me dystonic reactions however.
14 months after zero: Alternating akathisia, dystonic reactions and WD. Very unstable. No meds whatsoever. 31 months after zero: dystonia got worse, still very high anxiety, and many symptoms... no healing in sight. Adverse reaction destroyed me.

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The most lonely journey in all matters, Even with all the possible knowledge and experience, eventually it's the very person who going through it to endure, learn, understand, and make decision etc. 

 

 

Drug free Sep. 23 2017

2009 Mar.: lexapro 10mg for headache for 2 weeks.

2009-2012: on and off 1/4 to 1/3 of 10mg

2012 June--2013 Jan,: 1/4-1/3 of 10mg generic, bad jaw pain

2013 Jan-Mar: 10 mg generic. severe jaw and head pain;

2013 Mar--Aug. started tapering (liquid ever since) from 10 to 5 (one step) then gradually down to 2.25 mg by July. first ever panic attack, severe head/jaw pain

2013 Aug.: back to 2.75 mg; Nov: back to Brand Lex. 2.75mg -- 3mg,

2014 June: stopped PPI, head pressure/numbness. up-dosed 4.5mg, severe reaction mental symptoms added on

2014 Aug--2015 Aug: Micro taper down to 3.2mg, .025mg (<1%) cut holding 2-3 weeks.

2015 Aug 15th, Accidental one dose of 4.2mg. worsening brain non-functional, swollen head, body, coma like, DR

2016 Feb., started dosing 10am through 11 pm everyday 2/13--3.2mg, 3/15-- 2.9mg, 4/19-- 2.6mg, 6/26--2.2mg, 7/22 --1.9mg, 8/16--1.8mg,8/31--1.7m g, 9/13--1.6mg, 9/27--1.5mg, 10/8--1.4mg, 10/14--1.3mg, 11/1--1.2mg, 11/29--1.1mg, 12/12--1mg, 12/22--0.9mg

2017: 1/7--0.8mg, 1/15--0.7mg, 1/17--0.6mg, 1/20--0.52, 1/21--0.4mg, 1/22--0.26, 1/23--0.2, 2/13--0.13mg, 2/20--0.06mg, 3/18--0.13mg, 6/1--0.12mg, 7/6--0.1mg, 7/14--0.08mg, 8/17--0.04mg, 8/20--0.03mg, 8/28--0.02mg, 9/6--0.0205mg, 9/8--0.02mg, 9/17--0.015mg, 9/20--0.01mg, 9/21--0.0048mg, 9/22--0.0001mg,

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On 9/30/2017 at 6:18 PM, TheWayBack said:

I think I'll feel better when I am approaching 2mg. I only went up considerably (from 2 to 5mg)  for 41 days. So I think a fast taper could work.

 

Hi Wayback. I'm concerned about this. You have dropped your dose from 5mg to 4.6mg for 2 days, then dropped even more over the last few days to 4.3mg.

 

On 9/25/2017 at 1:20 AM, TheWayBack said:

 

Just asking: if I would like to go down after 2 months updosing, how fast should I go? 10%/month is a very long time for 2 months, no? Is 10%/week OK?

 

The 10% taper method recommends a 10% dosage reduction every 4 weeks, with the 10% calculated on the last dosage. If there is instability after that time then a hold is often called for. Some of our members have even held up for up to 9 - 12 months before they really felt ready to resume tapering. It's not usually that long but some have felt it necessary and it has worked for them. I want to emphasize that this process can take some time and that it can often be counter productive to try and rush it.

 

It doesn't take very long for the brain to get accustomed to the drug and after many changes and much instability, it just needs a longer period of time to settle and allow the changes to happen slowly.

This is an extract from : Brain Remodelling

 

When we stop taking the drug, we have a brain that has designed itself so that it works in the presence of the drug; now it can't work properly without the drug because it's designed itself so that the drug is part of its chemistry and structure. It's like a plant that has grown on a trellis; you can't just yank out the trellis and expect the plant to be okay. When the drug is removed, the remodeling process has to take place in reverse. SO--it's not a matter of just getting the drug out of your system and moving on. If it were that simple, none of us would be here. It's a matter of, as I describe it, having to grow a new brain. I believe this growing-a-new-brain happens throughout the taper process if the taper is slow enough. (If it's too fast, then there's not a lot of time for actually rebalancing things, and basically the brain is just pedaling fast trying to keep us alive.) It also continues to happen, probably for longer than the symptoms actually last, throughout the time of recovery after we are completely off the drug, which is why recovery takes so long.

 

With multiple drugs and a history of drug changes and cold turkeys, all of this becomes even more complicated. And if a person is started on these kinds of drugs at an early age before the brain has ever completely established normal mature functioning--well, it can't be good. (All of which is why I recommend an extremely slow taper particularly to anyone with a multiple drug history, a history of many years on meds, a history of past cold turkeys or frequent med changes, and a history of being put on drugs at a young age.)

 

You mention in the quote above that 10% is a very long time for 2 months but it's not just 2 months of an updose. It is a history of many years and frequent med changes.This has destabilized your central nervous system and it is now struggling to keep up. Therefore, it is wise to be even more careful now and to really take your time to gently and safely taper.

 

I think you are probably highly sensitized, as most of us are and perhaps a lot of your symptoms come from that as well as the frequent changes that have recently occurred. I understand that you want to get back to where you were quickly but it's not recommended.

 

I have a history of past cold turkeys as I never knew to taper but at least I learned how to get through the symptoms as I never had any choice but to do that. This served me well because I had to rely on non- drug coping methods and not dose changes. You really shouldn't adjust your doses to try to get rid of your symptoms. It doesn't work that way. Stability is ultimately what your brain craves the most and symptom relief will often follow.

 

I hope you will reconsider your tapering schedule and HOLD now for quite a long period of time without any further changes.

Please read the links and let us know your thoughts. Of course, these are only ever suggestions and the choice is always yours.

Ali

 

Edited by AliG

Many SSRI's and SSNRI's over 20 years. Zoloft for 7 years followed by Effexor, Lexapro, Prozac, Cymbalta, Celexa, Pristiq, Valdoxan, Mianserin and more - on and off. No tapering. Cold turkey off Valdoxan - end of May 2014

 

                                                  Psych Drug - free since May 2014
.
         

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Hi AliG and thanks for replying,


I held for 6 weeks at 5mg with very intense effects that wouldn't subside. My CNS is way overstimulated every morning after the dose. I hoped it would gradually lessen, and some things have, but not the intense relentless restlessness, anxiety and hyperarousal. My anxiety is very high each morning after taking the pill, even with all the coping methods.


I slept much better after the reductions and was a bit less anxious on waking. My withdrawal in the past was NEVER as bad as the updosing has been now. I'm keeping a close eye on myself now, but I want to know what dosage reductions do at this moment. The hold at 5mg was a mistake in retrospect. I should have gone down more to my original dose and should have hold there. Updosing has given me so much more intense symptoms.


I will stay at this dose for a couple days/week, to see if things worsen. If not, maybe I should go down more. This is not feeling as withdrawal, but as a way too strong reaction to the drug. I have tapered twice before and I know that slowly and holding was key to stay OK. But I'm not OK now and every time I take the pill, everything becomes much worse. I even sing now when I wake up, but once the drug kicks in, I become so agitated that everything becomes a burden and song is the last thing on my mind. I just want to know if a lower dosage makes me less agitated because that seems the reason of anxiety. Hyperarousal, agitation and restlessness are really the source of my problems.


I know all too well the importance of a slow taper. I've done it twice. But that was in a time when the drug had less and less effects so the mind could stabilize and one could feel OK almost always. I even sing in the morning after waking sometimes, but as soon as the drug kicks in, the restlessness, anxiety and agitation starts and the happiness and nice moods are gone. It stays like that until the late evening as I feel most of the effects of the drug wear off. Then I'm feeling more normal. This isn't a sign of the drug doing anything good. It has been consistent each day for the last 2 months. The pill makes everything worse. There wasn't a morning that I could say that the pill did something for the better. Or maybe one time when I was at the 2mg level and the pill took away the panic attacks at one morning. (I don't care about panic attacks anymore)


What are your thoughts on this AliG; I think if I stay at this higher dose longer, the slower the tapering should be... This is my main concern...


I know tapering should be done slowly, but is this also true when there is very high agitation after taking the pill? I have read the links you provided, but most situations are about withdrawal that kicked in and people updosed accordingly. I have never had withdrawal, only accidentally updosed a couple of days and things went for the worse ever since. Now, after 6 weeks of updosing and holding, shouldn't it be safer to go down faster? The more the mind accepts this dosage, the more difficult it is to taper. I should stress again; I'm in a bad condition every day after taking the pill. On waking and in the late evening when the effects wear off a bit, I'm feeling much much much better.

 

Thank you very much for taking your time!

Origin of Panic Attack and Anxiety Disorder: Overdose of Hallucinogenic HOT-7.

2013-09 20mg escitalopram. In the 4 first months 0.5-1mg/day Alprazolam for sleep & difficult situations.

Tapered the first time from 20mg to 0mg in 17 months or so. Withdrawal 6-8 weeks after last dose. Didn't taper enough to low enough doses (+-1mg).

2015-01-02 Back on 10mg after one week of delayed withdrawal. Stable in 8 days.

Second time tapered 2 years from 10mg to 1.6mg. Stable for half a year in range 2.5mg-1.6mg.

2017-07-28 Measurement errors: went for 1-2 weeks on 2mg. Restlessness and anxiety. Tried back to go back to 1.7mg for 5 days. Anxiety stayed.

2017-08-03 - 2017-08-20 Switched to liquid Lexapro 20mg/ml (1 drop is 1mg). Updosed to 2mg hoping to stabilize. Horrible Panic and Anxiety. Hold for 17 days hoping to stabilize. Didn't work enough for me at the time.

2017-08-20 End of holiday approaching. No more time. Decision to up dose to 5mg escitalopram. Back to the pills. Tapering alprazolam.

A lot of side effects: Akathisia, more anxiety, very troubling sleep, every thought and movement gave me panic attacks. Worst time of my life. I did learn coping skills in this period. A lot. Mastering meditation, mastering floating technique and more Claire Weekes stuff... Can handle extreme anxiety pretty decent now.

2017-09-30 Going down again because holding got worse almost every day. ADVICE TO OTHER ESCITALOPRAM PEOPLE, if updose doesn't work in two weeks, go down again!!! WD is not as brutal as adverse updose effects! After every taper (while tapering pretty manageable, after couple weeks holding, akathisia and extreme anxiety came back)

2018-01-29 Got to ZERO. A hard way down for sure. And now hoping for improvements along the way... Tapering melatonin gave me dystonic reactions however.
14 months after zero: Alternating akathisia, dystonic reactions and WD. Very unstable. No meds whatsoever. 31 months after zero: dystonia got worse, still very high anxiety, and many symptoms... no healing in sight. Adverse reaction destroyed me.

Link to comment

reserved, or can be deleted; doublepost

Origin of Panic Attack and Anxiety Disorder: Overdose of Hallucinogenic HOT-7.

2013-09 20mg escitalopram. In the 4 first months 0.5-1mg/day Alprazolam for sleep & difficult situations.

Tapered the first time from 20mg to 0mg in 17 months or so. Withdrawal 6-8 weeks after last dose. Didn't taper enough to low enough doses (+-1mg).

2015-01-02 Back on 10mg after one week of delayed withdrawal. Stable in 8 days.

Second time tapered 2 years from 10mg to 1.6mg. Stable for half a year in range 2.5mg-1.6mg.

2017-07-28 Measurement errors: went for 1-2 weeks on 2mg. Restlessness and anxiety. Tried back to go back to 1.7mg for 5 days. Anxiety stayed.

2017-08-03 - 2017-08-20 Switched to liquid Lexapro 20mg/ml (1 drop is 1mg). Updosed to 2mg hoping to stabilize. Horrible Panic and Anxiety. Hold for 17 days hoping to stabilize. Didn't work enough for me at the time.

2017-08-20 End of holiday approaching. No more time. Decision to up dose to 5mg escitalopram. Back to the pills. Tapering alprazolam.

A lot of side effects: Akathisia, more anxiety, very troubling sleep, every thought and movement gave me panic attacks. Worst time of my life. I did learn coping skills in this period. A lot. Mastering meditation, mastering floating technique and more Claire Weekes stuff... Can handle extreme anxiety pretty decent now.

2017-09-30 Going down again because holding got worse almost every day. ADVICE TO OTHER ESCITALOPRAM PEOPLE, if updose doesn't work in two weeks, go down again!!! WD is not as brutal as adverse updose effects! After every taper (while tapering pretty manageable, after couple weeks holding, akathisia and extreme anxiety came back)

2018-01-29 Got to ZERO. A hard way down for sure. And now hoping for improvements along the way... Tapering melatonin gave me dystonic reactions however.
14 months after zero: Alternating akathisia, dystonic reactions and WD. Very unstable. No meds whatsoever. 31 months after zero: dystonia got worse, still very high anxiety, and many symptoms... no healing in sight. Adverse reaction destroyed me.

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6 hours ago, TheWayBack said:

Day 3: Decreased my dose some more: 4.3mg. Restlessness and anxiety, just like the previous week, but the restlessness is a bit less. So relaxing is easier. My abilities to cope with anxiety improved quite a bit along the weeks. I'm doing everything I normally do (working, socializing, more work at home in the evening...). I have a window each evening when the pills lose a bit of their strength. Two cups of sleep-tea and 2.9mg melatonin and I fall asleep pretty easy.

 

Day 4 (again 4.3mg): Slept much better. Woke at 4.00am, but fell asleep again until 6.15am. Feel better, anxiety still present, but less restlessness. I will stay at this dose until the end of the week and reassess. I will not go up in dosage again, ever. If I stay stable, I will go to 4mg. Stable is off course subjective. I only take my level of anxiety and restlessless in account. I don't have other issues that are bothering me so much. If I would get more anxious at the end of the week, I'll hold.

 

Now 2 hours after taking the pill and the effects are increasing, my heart palpitations have started again and so the tightness in the chest.

So the plan is to go down gradually to 2mg at the end of the month. And hold there. And even face WD at that level. Updosing to 5mg was the stupidest thing I could do. The constant restlessness and hyperarousal I got after updosing to 5mg has made everything so much more difficult.

 

I'm still practising mindfulness with HeadSpace and it seems it is helping me to cope even better with the fear. I don't get overwhelmed anymore, even in the midst of a panic attack. It took some weeks training my coping skills, but they have improved tremendously. I even get panic attacks at work and in the car and I just go on with it. I have lost my fear of the fear. I think I have finally reached the point of accepting and not withdrawing from the fear. This is giving me a lot of hope on recovery. Even if I get panic attacks after this whole ordeal. I'll manage! Acceptance with time has also improved tremendously. I know that this won't be over when I reach 2mg and that it will need some more time. Now, it has been over two months of feeling very horrible, but somehow I'm much calmer now than in the beginning when I wanted every day to be the last of feeling bad. Even with the anxiety hitting me almost every hour of the day. I am so inspired by this! I am practicing mindfulness and breathing, facing my fears, finding the roots. It is helping. I still have anxiety, panic, but I am getting better at moving through. : )

 

 

 

2001- Klonopin 0.125 mg.  2011- increase to 1 mg.  2018- increase to 1.5 mg 

2010- Trials of SSRI's, several.

2011- Saphris 5 mg. CT. 6/2017- retry Saphris 5 mg sublingual, begin taper August 2020 10% taper with scale, and final taper liquid sublingual, August 2019- taper complete!

2011- Geodon 20 mg. Begin taper Sept 2019. 10% liquid taper. 2020: December-5 mg. 2021: Jan-4.5mg. (held Feb.for vacation). March-4mg. Apr-3.6mg. May-3.2mg. June-2.8mg. (Held July for vacation). Aug-2.4mg. Sept.- 2.2mg. Oct. 2mg. Dec 2022 - Taper complete!

2011- Gabapentin 300 mg to present- 2020. Increase 2023 to 400mg.

2014- Vyvanse 20 mg, 2020- Vyvanse 5 mg. Increase August 2022 20mg

2016- Lithium 300 mg, June 2016 - FT.

2017- Cogentin 0.5 mg. June-August 2019- off Cogentin.

2021 - Hydroxyzine 30mg. Holding.

Omeprazole 20 mg and holding, Omega 3's/fish oil, Magnesium

 

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DMV64, mindfulness is a very useful tool to centre yourself, distance yourself from your emotions and to calm down, but the most important tool against anxiety, and more importantly panic, is the book 'Hope and Help for your nerves' by Claire Weekes. Read it again and again. Not only the audiobooks. The audiobook doesn't contain enough information. Combined with mindfulness this is pure gold.

 

Maybe you already know the book by heart, if so, please ignore :-)

Origin of Panic Attack and Anxiety Disorder: Overdose of Hallucinogenic HOT-7.

2013-09 20mg escitalopram. In the 4 first months 0.5-1mg/day Alprazolam for sleep & difficult situations.

Tapered the first time from 20mg to 0mg in 17 months or so. Withdrawal 6-8 weeks after last dose. Didn't taper enough to low enough doses (+-1mg).

2015-01-02 Back on 10mg after one week of delayed withdrawal. Stable in 8 days.

Second time tapered 2 years from 10mg to 1.6mg. Stable for half a year in range 2.5mg-1.6mg.

2017-07-28 Measurement errors: went for 1-2 weeks on 2mg. Restlessness and anxiety. Tried back to go back to 1.7mg for 5 days. Anxiety stayed.

2017-08-03 - 2017-08-20 Switched to liquid Lexapro 20mg/ml (1 drop is 1mg). Updosed to 2mg hoping to stabilize. Horrible Panic and Anxiety. Hold for 17 days hoping to stabilize. Didn't work enough for me at the time.

2017-08-20 End of holiday approaching. No more time. Decision to up dose to 5mg escitalopram. Back to the pills. Tapering alprazolam.

A lot of side effects: Akathisia, more anxiety, very troubling sleep, every thought and movement gave me panic attacks. Worst time of my life. I did learn coping skills in this period. A lot. Mastering meditation, mastering floating technique and more Claire Weekes stuff... Can handle extreme anxiety pretty decent now.

2017-09-30 Going down again because holding got worse almost every day. ADVICE TO OTHER ESCITALOPRAM PEOPLE, if updose doesn't work in two weeks, go down again!!! WD is not as brutal as adverse updose effects! After every taper (while tapering pretty manageable, after couple weeks holding, akathisia and extreme anxiety came back)

2018-01-29 Got to ZERO. A hard way down for sure. And now hoping for improvements along the way... Tapering melatonin gave me dystonic reactions however.
14 months after zero: Alternating akathisia, dystonic reactions and WD. Very unstable. No meds whatsoever. 31 months after zero: dystonia got worse, still very high anxiety, and many symptoms... no healing in sight. Adverse reaction destroyed me.

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19 minutes ago, TheWayBack said:

Thank you! I am ordering it right now!

 

2001- Klonopin 0.125 mg.  2011- increase to 1 mg.  2018- increase to 1.5 mg 

2010- Trials of SSRI's, several.

2011- Saphris 5 mg. CT. 6/2017- retry Saphris 5 mg sublingual, begin taper August 2020 10% taper with scale, and final taper liquid sublingual, August 2019- taper complete!

2011- Geodon 20 mg. Begin taper Sept 2019. 10% liquid taper. 2020: December-5 mg. 2021: Jan-4.5mg. (held Feb.for vacation). March-4mg. Apr-3.6mg. May-3.2mg. June-2.8mg. (Held July for vacation). Aug-2.4mg. Sept.- 2.2mg. Oct. 2mg. Dec 2022 - Taper complete!

2011- Gabapentin 300 mg to present- 2020. Increase 2023 to 400mg.

2014- Vyvanse 20 mg, 2020- Vyvanse 5 mg. Increase August 2022 20mg

2016- Lithium 300 mg, June 2016 - FT.

2017- Cogentin 0.5 mg. June-August 2019- off Cogentin.

2021 - Hydroxyzine 30mg. Holding.

Omeprazole 20 mg and holding, Omega 3's/fish oil, Magnesium

 

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