gizmo Posted December 3, 2020 Share Posted December 3, 2020 (edited) Does anyone else have no brain activity /slash/ blank mind? Does anyone else have no brain activity /slash/ blank mind? I feel really alone in this particular symptom because i don't hear too many people discuss it. I'd really like to devote this thread for those of us who are experiencing this symptom, and to hear from those who have struggled with it in the past and experienced it dissipate or lift entirely with time. For me, I have to work really hard to even have a thought. It's like i don't even know myself anymore because I have no thoughts on anything, really. Edited December 3, 2020 by ChessieCat added topic title Off all meds since mid June 2020 November 2020 - feeling really sick, cognitive delays, memory issues, difficulty focusing, low mood, apathy, anxiety Link to post Share on other sites
wantrelief Posted December 3, 2020 Share Posted December 3, 2020 I have some aspects of this problem. I can't think of anything I want to do, it is as if I never had any interests before.....all my body/brain wants to do is lie on the couch. I don't know what to do with myself. It is difficult for me to converse in the earlier part of the day; this gets better later on. It also relates to food - no food sounds appealing anymore. If someone asks me what I would like to eat, I can't think of anything. There are other examples where my mind feels blank but that gives you some idea. I do have thoughts/opinions about things (like say politics or certain issues) so it isn't completely blank but I have described that I feel as if a part of my brain has been removed or has shut down and won't come back online. It is an awful feeling and makes me feel like I am not myself at all, like I am not really here anymore. I do have awful intrusive thoughts so my brain is not blank in that way. In your signature you describe "feeling really sick" - that is exactly how I describe how I am feeling too....it is vague but that is the only way I can describe it. -1/06 - 3/07 Cymbalta. Fast taper; withdrawal symptoms after 4 mos (didn't realize was WD) -10/07: 100 mg Zoloft; 1 mg Klonopin - tapered off Klonopin -Tried several times to slowly taper Zoloft by 10%, then 5% every 4-6 weeks; could never get below approx. 40 mg - spring 2012 experienced major WD symptoms due to stress; tried to updose but no relief, back on Klonopin 1 mg. -Switched over 5-6 mos from Zoloft to Citalopram. Finished Zoloft 1/13; Citalopram 35 mg and 1 mg Klonopin. -8/13: 27 mg Citalopram; 1 mg Klonopin -11/14: 12.6 Citalopram - began to have bad withdrawal symptoms; out of desperation increased to 1.25 mg Klonopin at the beginning of December. 12/13/14 16 mg Citalopram - going to stay here to try to stabilize; stabilized on 16 mg Citalopram after 4-5 months -7/15 - 3/16: reduced to 15 mg; ~ 2 months later w/d hit hard (probably r/t stress); 6/16 updosed to 20 mg Citalopram and trying to stabilize. Updosed to 1.5 Klonopin as well. Stabilized on 20 mg Citalopram after 4-5 months 8/17-9/17: feeling withdrawal symptoms at 20 mg Citalopram (due to stress) - slowly increased to 25 mg. No change in symptoms after 6 months (? tolerance ?) - decided to start citalopram taper February 2018 (still on Klonopin 1.5 mg). Supplements: fish oil; magnesium; vitamin D3; curcumin Citalopram taper: 2/2018 - 12/2019: 25 mg - 11.03 mg I 2020: 10.89 mg - 7.9 mg 2021: 1/3/20: 7.8 mg (1.27% drop) Link to post Share on other sites
rachie Posted December 3, 2020 Share Posted December 3, 2020 I have really fast negative thoughts all of the time about how stuck and anxious I feel but my ability to care about anything outside of potentially healing one day is shut down. I don't feel my caring about my family members in the way I used to (although deep down I know it is not true), I don't have anything I want to do, I don't feel happy at all, I can't concentrate on much, not even a TV show. I know it is the WD because TV shows I used to care about and get in to the story and characters I can hardly stay focused on. it is all dead for now. I also can barely listen to anyone. They are talking to me and I am offline. I am almost 3 months past my final dose. I'm still crying all the time. The good news is I have had a few fleeting moments of change. I started out with how am I going to get through this day and I have actually had a couple of moments of when I get better I will so and so. Paxil 2000 - 2002 Tried unsuccessfully to discontinue 2002 - 2010 A series of trial and error, Wellbutrin, Effexor and unsuccessful attempts to discontinue. 2010 - 2017 Lexapro With several unsuccessful attempts to withdraw 2012 - 2017 Lamictal Successfully withdrew Lamictal no problem 2017 - 2020 Switched to 40mg. Prozac to prepare try another Withdrawal. 2020 - On 15mg Remeron for a few months during withdrawal Completely off of Antidepressants since Sept. 2020 Klonipin as needed throughout the process. .25 mostly, some .5, some .125, 2 to 12 times per mo. Link to post Share on other sites
rachie Posted December 3, 2020 Share Posted December 3, 2020 Also, to respond to the sick part. I am still getting the flu symptoms. Today is a bad day as far as feeling sick and with Covid going on it is tricky when you constantly have these flu symptoms. I get swollen glands, heat, itching and sneezing. Totally related to the withdrawal. Paxil 2000 - 2002 Tried unsuccessfully to discontinue 2002 - 2010 A series of trial and error, Wellbutrin, Effexor and unsuccessful attempts to discontinue. 2010 - 2017 Lexapro With several unsuccessful attempts to withdraw 2012 - 2017 Lamictal Successfully withdrew Lamictal no problem 2017 - 2020 Switched to 40mg. Prozac to prepare try another Withdrawal. 2020 - On 15mg Remeron for a few months during withdrawal Completely off of Antidepressants since Sept. 2020 Klonipin as needed throughout the process. .25 mostly, some .5, some .125, 2 to 12 times per mo. Link to post Share on other sites
gizmo Posted December 3, 2020 Share Posted December 3, 2020 Its so good to know I'm not alone, but also frustrating to see so few stories of recovery when it comes to brain fog....i've looked through this thread for them and really don't find any. DOES THIS GET BETTER? Is there evidence of that happening? I feel so hopeless. Off all meds since mid June 2020 November 2020 - feeling really sick, cognitive delays, memory issues, difficulty focusing, low mood, apathy, anxiety Link to post Share on other sites
Moderator Emeritus ChessieCat Posted December 3, 2020 Moderator Emeritus Share Posted December 3, 2020 Yes it does improve. I posted this recently in my Intro: On 11/23/2020 at 9:43 AM, ChessieCat said: I noticed something this morning. My memory is improving. I've been listening to podcasts and audio books for quite a while now and I had been having a lot of difficulty remembering things. Over the last couple of weeks I've been listening to two books at the same time, one during the day and the other at night in bed. The first couple of books were a bit different. However, the current ones have very similar voices and this morning I realised that I've been able to keep up with the different stories because I'm able to recall things. NEW!!! INTERVIEW with Altostrata, SA's founder NEW!!! REMINDER TO SELF: I don't need the drug now, but my still brain does. Current from 9 Jan 2021: Pristiq 0.405 mg ADs since ~1992: 25+ years - 1 unknown, Prozac (muscle weakness), Zoloft; citalopram (pooped out) CTed (very sick for 2.5 wks a few months after); Pristiq: 50mg 2012, 100mg beg 2013 (Serotonin Toxicity) Tapering Oct 2015 My tapering program My Intro (goes to my tapering graph) My website PLEASE NOTE: I am not a medical professional. I provide information and make suggestions. Link to post Share on other sites
lexauxa Posted December 3, 2020 Share Posted December 3, 2020 Just wanna reply to Gizmo and the others: Cognitive difficulties were my main withdrawal symptom, coupled with a lack of empathy (as Rachie described) and a general feeling of detachment. I wanna tell you that it does get better. It's been a painstakingly slow process but a process nonetheless. Today I am much more present and acute than I was a year ago. This is reflected in my ability to do maths, recall memories and express myself coherently. Basically my mind is not all white noise anymore, if you can relate to that feeling. My advice for you is to not ruminate. I know it's extremely difficult to avoid this type of thinking, but you have to as it's harmful and will only make you feel depressed and anxious. That's enough to make even a healthy person feel and perform worse. I've found that refocusing my efforts on wholesome activities - from breathing to exercising to working to the best of my abilities - is key. Do this and let those awful sensations wash over you without either suppressing or giving them credence. This will give you a much needed sense of control. All the best, feel free to send me a message if you ever wanna talk - Registered to the site at end of April, been a lurker since February. If I should correct my signature in some way please correct me! - Started Prozac (20mg all the way) in 2010 at the age of 17 for OCD/Anxiety - Half-hearted attempts at quitting previously, psychiatrist response each time "return of original symptoms". - Kept on trucking on medication until beginning 2016 as my belief was that I need it (i.e. natural chemical imbalance) - Started getting more anxious / experience a cognitive decline but refused to raise dosage - Tried to quit but experienced a lot of stress from studies and work - Tried to switch to Wellbutrin (150mg dose) in 2017 but experienced quite a lot of irritability, stopped the medication without problem. - Did independent research at end of 2017, became a "believer" in WD symptoms/other side effects outside official guidance - Reinstated to 10 mg Prozac in December 2017, currently (December 2018) on 1.25 mg - My main concern/problems are cognitive ones (word finding, short-term memory, mathematics, logic) and looking for guidance on these issues from anyone who is kind and resourceful enough to assist. Thank you! Link to post Share on other sites
gizmo Posted December 4, 2020 Share Posted December 4, 2020 @lexauxa I really appreciate your reassurance. My work requires a tremendous amount of intellectual labor and I feel so frightened that I'm going to **** up. And then in my personal life, I don't feel like I can process or understand anything, really. It feels so scary. I sent you a DM - I'd love to talk to you more. The suggestion to not ruminate is so helpful. I'll try to distract myself. Off all meds since mid June 2020 November 2020 - feeling really sick, cognitive delays, memory issues, difficulty focusing, low mood, apathy, anxiety Link to post Share on other sites
Atlas15 Posted December 5, 2020 Share Posted December 5, 2020 According to my and many others' experience, it gets better gradually but the extent and the rate of improvement depend heavily on the factors that are mostly out of a person's control. It took me approximately 10 years (13.5 years in total) to finally feel like myself again. Link to post Share on other sites
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