Littlegrandma Posted September 28, 2017 Author Share Posted September 28, 2017 I can not believe all the side effects from this damn citalopram(lexapro), and all the other ad meds. It's sure robbing us of quality of life. It makes me angrier every day. I'd love to give the docs and the drug makers a dose of our w/d. Not to mention the drug reps getting their commissions off of our hell. That's terrible what the inhaler did. You have been thru hell. You're one tough lady. I'm hoping you start getting some decent windows. You don't deserve this!! My smoking has increased since w/d. I had stopped for quite awhile. I have nodules that are being watched by a reputable pulmonologist in Chicago. But since tapering, I just crave the cigs. I know it's stupid and a big source of my anxiety. I also have a vape. I keep making dates to quit but fail. My new date is oct 1. The anniversary of my dads death from lung cancer. I quit the day he was diagnosed, for 7 yrs, but stupidly started again. I still have the kids. All is quiet now but we sure had a day when Madelyn lost her doll at the restaurant. It was a 45 min. crying, no screaming fit. She was not going to leave til it was located. Somebody must have found it and taken it because we searched every inch of that restaurant. I had to drag her kicking and screaming to the car. Wasn't easy getting her in the car seat. She fought me tooth and nail. I was trying not to hurt her casted arm. I can only imagine what people were thinking. I have never seen her behave like that. But in her defense it's been a bad week for her. I was surprised nobody called the cops or checked on her to make sure she wasn't being kidnapped. So, it's been an interesting day. Sorry you're still feeling low with all the horrible pain. At least you got some cuddling. ❤️Lg Lex 4.3mg, 3/2/18 Ativan ,5 mg, lunesta 2 mg , toprol 25 mg Oct 16-28 2018 C/O to 19 mg V from 1.5 mg Ativan, 1.3 mg lunesta jan 22 2019- 11 mg V jan 23 - pneumonia, 2 AB’s. Hold taper july 5- 10.72 V July 6- 11 mg V- ugly bad july 11- 10.72 mg V, 4.3 lex, 25 mg toprol Link to comment
Scorpio Posted September 29, 2017 Share Posted September 29, 2017 Hi lg you must have been frantic trying to find Madelyns doll. She has had a rotten week poor little thing no wonder she was so upset. It can't have been much fun for you either, stress is not good. These babies are our saviours and our triggers. 'I loved smoking but was diagnosed with moderate copd so common sense kicked in and was told by drs to vape which I have done ever since. I think I coped well on the changeover but since lexapro it has been more like a dummy. When absolutely desperate with all the horrible side effects going on this drug I would try a rare cigarette but never satisfied me and prefer vaping now. Just don't do it until you are stable as it affected me far more than I realised at the time. Maybe do as you are doing but vape more than smoke and let your body get used to the change gently. You know what sensitive little souls we are! if I had the money and the energy I would sue the pants off the drs, psych, and drug companies but at the end of the day I just want my life back and will be more than happy with that. To be interested in what goes on and have the energy to complete tasks with ease - one day. Today is another absolutely rotten one the anxiety is 10 out if 10, nausea, tinnitus, bowel cramping, nerve pain in unmentionable areas and extreme back pain. My plans for cleaning gently through my house are once again on hold. Managed to sort sandwich for lunch for husband and get dinner prepared, cleaned sinks and loos and now give in to it again. I really lose hope when I feel like this and am convinced I will never recover. It seems a lifetime ago Tuesday last week when I had a better day. I am keeping everything crossed that you have a wonderful day today then I can enjoy your good day if not mine. I took 1.5 melatonin last night as the night before had been bad but my sleep these days is more like that of a zombie not refreshing and then cannot get out of bed when the alarm goes off. So different to how I used to be, bouncing around like tigger was my normal happy state. 2006 After sudden death of mother put on 20mg of citaloprom for depression. 2014 Drug stopped working after two weeks of panic attacks felt fine. Aug 2014. Doctor put me on lyrica for rash on face, diarrhoea, sleeplessness,muscle cramp, bruising. Initial dose too strong, halved dose. Stopped taking it 22/10/14 2014 severe anxiety after several ssri's attempted, seem to have developed severe sensitivity to any drug, but giving severe reactions put on cipralex drop form.started on 2 drops and had to increase by 1 drop every 3 days. Eventually got to 12 drops and had to stop as side effects every step of the way dreadful. Psychiatrist kept telling me to stick with it and my body would get used to it. Eventually down to 8 drops. Bad reactions throughout the time I was on it Have been on this until may 2017. Stopped over two weeks. Felt fine for 5 weeks after initial dizziness, nightmares, nausea, insomnia. Given diazepam by gp and told to take them when anxiety bad. Have only taken them very rarely as they frighten me. Last two weeks severe anxiety returned and feeling hopeless 11July 2017. Cipralex 2mg. Anxiety, nausea still severe 13 July 2017 Cipralex 1mg due to advice of too high dosage by kind person on thus site. so dropped from 2mg to 1mg and feelings of anxiety still at severe. As well as nausea, headaches, fatigue. 15 July still feeling extremely anxious verging on panic. Nausea, feelings of fainting, fatigue. Lots of head pains 3 August. Three weeks into trying to stabilise on one drop of cipralex. Still have waking from 4am. Sporadic upset stomach. Nausea. High anxiety. Throbbing/burning in nether regions seems to have eased for time being but stabbing/burning in calves of legs. Tinnitus. Occasional half to whole better days but mainly still struggling. Fatigue Link to comment
Littlegrandma Posted September 29, 2017 Author Share Posted September 29, 2017 Yes I'm afraid my babies are my triggers this week. Could not stop thinking about Madelyn 's behavior. It was like she was possessed. More anxiety than a 4 yr old should suffer. My sleep was not good and woke this morning with extreme anxiety. Trembling again. But so fatigued. That is a horrible combination. I have the little guy this morning as mom is going on a field trip with Madelyn 's preschool. I am really dreading it. Would rather stay curled up in bed. I also have slight copd. So stupid to continue smoking. But I've increased instead of cutting back. When I'm alone, I don't know what else to do with this anxiety. When I'm with family I don't smoke. I'm a closet smoker. They would be so upset with me. I am constantly brushing my teeth and changing clothes so they don't smell it. I take a lot of showers and wash my hair. I hate to hear you're feeling so bad again today. I wish there was something I could do or suggest. I am scared for all of us. They say it will end, but I sure have my doubts most days. It's hard not to be depressed when you feel so bad. I just want my simple life back. I want to feel joy again instead of just distractions. I want to have fun with my family instead of them babysitting me. I think the stress has finally worn my husband down. He called in to work and is in bed. Fever, full ears, sore throats and glands. And body ache. He is rarely sick. I wish I could take care of him. I owe him!! Praying your day gets better. Gotta shower the smoke smell off as my little guy will be delivered to me shortly. 🌻Lg Lex 4.3mg, 3/2/18 Ativan ,5 mg, lunesta 2 mg , toprol 25 mg Oct 16-28 2018 C/O to 19 mg V from 1.5 mg Ativan, 1.3 mg lunesta jan 22 2019- 11 mg V jan 23 - pneumonia, 2 AB’s. Hold taper july 5- 10.72 V July 6- 11 mg V- ugly bad july 11- 10.72 mg V, 4.3 lex, 25 mg toprol Link to comment
Scorpio Posted September 29, 2017 Share Posted September 29, 2017 Hi lg 'a horrible day for both us at least we are in good company. Poor Madelyn like the rest of us, she had had enough for this week. Losing a beloved toy would upset child without the rest of what she had to go through. Don't let it disturb you too much. As for your husband, no he has gone down with a virus which millions of people do everyday. I also worry as my husband hasn't really recovered from his infections and is very fatigued. I too think oops my fault as his life is on hold because of mine and has been for coming up to 3 years. There is nothing we can do about it and blaming ourselves won't help them or us. We will be able to repay them once we get on track and then they will rue the day as we will be organising them to do all sorts of things and wearing them out in a different way. As for smoking , stop beating yourself up, that is something you can tackle when much stronger. It has been a big thing in our lives and maybe October is not the right tine as added stress won't help. Try to get used to vaping, no smells, no chemicals and easy to hide. I am using mine like a dummy as I told you. You say secret smoker makes me laugh. We have very good friends, the husband has suffered with m.s. For many years now but before that when all our children were smaller they all came up one Boxing Day evening. The children were playing in one room and adults enjoying a drink etc. Nicky was smoking and his daughter who was about 8 walked in and he had to stuff a lit cigarette in his trousers pocket. I have never laughed so much and his trousers were beyond repair. 'I am the same to feel carefree and full of fun is something that seems a million miles away. The nausea and anxiety have been sky high today as well as the back. My daughter came in with Jude at lunchtime and it really is impossible not to have to pick him up. I often rock him to sleep when he is due a daytime nap by singing to him - he is not judgemental thank god, but I just couldn't stand and rock him so my daughter took him home to get him off. Still managed to pull on my back though. I am so sorry you are struggling too, is your mum coming over to help you. The fatigue is horrible isn't it so draining and combined with everything else just reduces us to blobs. I also hope your day is going ok and you can manage your little one. What you doing about dinner if your husband is poorly. I tried some real ginger tea with honey and lemon today but it definitely didn't stop the nausea. So another good tip hasn't worked for me. 2006 After sudden death of mother put on 20mg of citaloprom for depression. 2014 Drug stopped working after two weeks of panic attacks felt fine. Aug 2014. Doctor put me on lyrica for rash on face, diarrhoea, sleeplessness,muscle cramp, bruising. Initial dose too strong, halved dose. Stopped taking it 22/10/14 2014 severe anxiety after several ssri's attempted, seem to have developed severe sensitivity to any drug, but giving severe reactions put on cipralex drop form.started on 2 drops and had to increase by 1 drop every 3 days. Eventually got to 12 drops and had to stop as side effects every step of the way dreadful. Psychiatrist kept telling me to stick with it and my body would get used to it. Eventually down to 8 drops. Bad reactions throughout the time I was on it Have been on this until may 2017. Stopped over two weeks. Felt fine for 5 weeks after initial dizziness, nightmares, nausea, insomnia. Given diazepam by gp and told to take them when anxiety bad. Have only taken them very rarely as they frighten me. Last two weeks severe anxiety returned and feeling hopeless 11July 2017. Cipralex 2mg. Anxiety, nausea still severe 13 July 2017 Cipralex 1mg due to advice of too high dosage by kind person on thus site. so dropped from 2mg to 1mg and feelings of anxiety still at severe. As well as nausea, headaches, fatigue. 15 July still feeling extremely anxious verging on panic. Nausea, feelings of fainting, fatigue. Lots of head pains 3 August. Three weeks into trying to stabilise on one drop of cipralex. Still have waking from 4am. Sporadic upset stomach. Nausea. High anxiety. Throbbing/burning in nether regions seems to have eased for time being but stabbing/burning in calves of legs. Tinnitus. Occasional half to whole better days but mainly still struggling. Fatigue Link to comment
Littlegrandma Posted September 29, 2017 Author Share Posted September 29, 2017 The smoking story reminds me of when I was 16. I was stopped at a red light, when I saw my mom walking up to my car. I threw a lit cigarette into the ashtray and closed it. She saw the smoke billowing out. She wasn't very happy. I wish she would have kicked my butt then. No pun intended. Ended up enjoying my morning with Jonathan. It's a perfect fall day. Blue sky without a cloud. We spent most of the 3 hours outside. But ALL of my symptoms have returned today. I am sitting in the office of the new psych doc. 30 min past my appt time with other patients ahead of me. And the doctor isn't even in the building. I don't even want to be here but I'm doing it for my husband. I get meds from my GP, so I really see no reason to be here. My husband and therapist think she can help with taper. I think not!! Oh well hope your day has improved. I can't wait to get home and hit the couch. Lex 4.3mg, 3/2/18 Ativan ,5 mg, lunesta 2 mg , toprol 25 mg Oct 16-28 2018 C/O to 19 mg V from 1.5 mg Ativan, 1.3 mg lunesta jan 22 2019- 11 mg V jan 23 - pneumonia, 2 AB’s. Hold taper july 5- 10.72 V July 6- 11 mg V- ugly bad july 11- 10.72 mg V, 4.3 lex, 25 mg toprol Link to comment
Scorpio Posted September 29, 2017 Share Posted September 29, 2017 2 hours ago, Littlegrandma said: The smoking story reminds me of when I was 16. I was stopped at a red light, when I saw my mom walking up to my car. I threw a lit cigarette into the ashtray and closed it. She saw the smoke billowing out. She wasn't very happy. I wish she would have kicked my butt then. No pun intended. Ended up enjoying my morning with Jonathan. It's a perfect fall day. Blue sky without a cloud. We spent most of the 3 hours outside. But ALL of my symptoms have returned today. I am sitting in the office of the new psych doc. 30 min past my appt time with other patients ahead of me. And the doctor isn't even in the building. I don't even want to be here but I'm doing it for my husband. I get meds from my GP, so I really see no reason to be here. My husband and therapist think she can help with taper. I think not!! Oh well hope your day has improved. I can't wait to get home and hit the couch. Hi lg' for some reason I wasn't messaged that had received a reply from you so only just found it. How funny, so much in common, Hampshire and new Jonathan, that's my brothers name but I call him Jonat. It was a name given to him when we lived in Malta and we were both toddlers, the lady that used to live up the road couldn't pronounce Jonathan. So she called him jonat and it stuck with me. 'How horrible today is for both you and me, you know why yours is flaring, grand daughter, seeing psych doctor all stressful. We know what mine is and more stress at the moment as this I pad keeps wanting to write its own language and not what I am trying to type. I am now facing whether to risk a flu injection next week or not. Had one last year and was fine but so unstable at moment not sure what to do. I hope you are back home and sitting on your couch and had a cig or two to calm yourself. You say all your symptoms are back but you managed to care for Jonathan and be outside. Wow. That's good. Will look forward to hearing what psych doc said. Bug hugs 2006 After sudden death of mother put on 20mg of citaloprom for depression. 2014 Drug stopped working after two weeks of panic attacks felt fine. Aug 2014. Doctor put me on lyrica for rash on face, diarrhoea, sleeplessness,muscle cramp, bruising. Initial dose too strong, halved dose. Stopped taking it 22/10/14 2014 severe anxiety after several ssri's attempted, seem to have developed severe sensitivity to any drug, but giving severe reactions put on cipralex drop form.started on 2 drops and had to increase by 1 drop every 3 days. Eventually got to 12 drops and had to stop as side effects every step of the way dreadful. Psychiatrist kept telling me to stick with it and my body would get used to it. Eventually down to 8 drops. Bad reactions throughout the time I was on it Have been on this until may 2017. Stopped over two weeks. Felt fine for 5 weeks after initial dizziness, nightmares, nausea, insomnia. Given diazepam by gp and told to take them when anxiety bad. Have only taken them very rarely as they frighten me. Last two weeks severe anxiety returned and feeling hopeless 11July 2017. Cipralex 2mg. Anxiety, nausea still severe 13 July 2017 Cipralex 1mg due to advice of too high dosage by kind person on thus site. so dropped from 2mg to 1mg and feelings of anxiety still at severe. As well as nausea, headaches, fatigue. 15 July still feeling extremely anxious verging on panic. Nausea, feelings of fainting, fatigue. Lots of head pains 3 August. Three weeks into trying to stabilise on one drop of cipralex. Still have waking from 4am. Sporadic upset stomach. Nausea. High anxiety. Throbbing/burning in nether regions seems to have eased for time being but stabbing/burning in calves of legs. Tinnitus. Occasional half to whole better days but mainly still struggling. Fatigue Link to comment
Littlegrandma Posted September 29, 2017 Author Share Posted September 29, 2017 16 minutes ago, Scorpio said: Hi lg' for some reason I wasn't messaged that had received a reply from you so only just found it. How funny, so much in common, Hampshire and new Jonathan, that's my brothers name but I call him Jonat. It was a name given to him when we lived in Malta and we were both toddlers, the lady that used to live up the road couldn't pronounce Jonathan. So she called him jonat and it stuck with me. 'How horrible today is for both you and me, you know why yours is flaring, grand daughter, seeing psych doctor all stressful. We know what mine is and more stress at the moment as this I pad keeps wanting to write its own language and not what I am trying to type. I am now facing whether to risk a flu injection next week or not. Had one last year and was fine but so unstable at moment not sure what to do. I hope you are back home and sitting on your couch and had a cig or two to calm yourself. You say all your symptoms are back but you managed to care for Jonathan and be outside. Wow. That's good. Will look forward to hearing what psych doc said. Bug hugs Lex 4.3mg, 3/2/18 Ativan ,5 mg, lunesta 2 mg , toprol 25 mg Oct 16-28 2018 C/O to 19 mg V from 1.5 mg Ativan, 1.3 mg lunesta jan 22 2019- 11 mg V jan 23 - pneumonia, 2 AB’s. Hold taper july 5- 10.72 V July 6- 11 mg V- ugly bad july 11- 10.72 mg V, 4.3 lex, 25 mg toprol Link to comment
Littlegrandma Posted September 29, 2017 Author Share Posted September 29, 2017 Scorpio you really don't want to hear what psych doc said. I wish I would have recorded the conversation as my head is super foggy today. Which, by the way, is a symptom of my depression according to her. And my w/d is nothing more than my original symptoms coming back. I said that's funny cuz I wasn't depressed before. Nor did I have migraines, tremors, vomiting, body ache, etc. she wants me to do some psych testing for bipolar. She said that she does have a patient who is doing well with holistic med but she couldn't refer me to anyone. But, says I will probably have to be on meds. But holistic worked for the other patient?????? She suggested I take Sam e. When I told her the supplements I was on, she suggested I take Vaya direct instead of omega. She said it's much better for cognitive, as she handed me the pamphlet and order form with her name stamped on it. She wants to make sure she gets her commission. I don't think she liked me very well. I told her that psych drugs were handed out too easily and that I would never take another a/d drug. She said, well, we'll see after you're off the lexapro and you need to up your Ativan. I said that's funny, 2 years ago I didn't take any of these drugs and I had mild anxiety. And that the doctor should have stressed exercise and good diet. And not put me on drugs. Sure didn't have anxiety about that meeting. haha yes. We are finding more and more in common. # 1..... we are awesome grannies. And I am proud of that!! Now, as this dr told me, forget about the symptoms. Just go about your life as normal. I never wanted to trade bodies with anybody so badly. Just 5 minutes. Well, at least brains. She's too short!! Lg Lex 4.3mg, 3/2/18 Ativan ,5 mg, lunesta 2 mg , toprol 25 mg Oct 16-28 2018 C/O to 19 mg V from 1.5 mg Ativan, 1.3 mg lunesta jan 22 2019- 11 mg V jan 23 - pneumonia, 2 AB’s. Hold taper july 5- 10.72 V July 6- 11 mg V- ugly bad july 11- 10.72 mg V, 4.3 lex, 25 mg toprol Link to comment
Scorpio Posted September 29, 2017 Share Posted September 29, 2017 Hi lg that is absolutely terrible. I wished you had taped it too but that conversation is almost identical to the ones I had with my go for two years it is beyond words what my feelings are for the medical profession now. I avoid them like the plague and my leg would have to be falling off before I see one. Please, please try and laugh about her stupidity and complacency do not let it add to your stress. She is only repeating their mantra - ignorance. I sincerely hope your husband now stops pushing you to go to anymore. My husband is the same he sees me in such a pitiful state and suggests we go to the doctor as he doesn't know what else to do to help. As for her not liking you too much that is nothing compared to what you were probably thinking about her! Yes, we are proud, strong and surviving super grannies. We will win and can them tell them to shove their lotions and potions where the sun doesn't shine - in time. 2006 After sudden death of mother put on 20mg of citaloprom for depression. 2014 Drug stopped working after two weeks of panic attacks felt fine. Aug 2014. Doctor put me on lyrica for rash on face, diarrhoea, sleeplessness,muscle cramp, bruising. Initial dose too strong, halved dose. Stopped taking it 22/10/14 2014 severe anxiety after several ssri's attempted, seem to have developed severe sensitivity to any drug, but giving severe reactions put on cipralex drop form.started on 2 drops and had to increase by 1 drop every 3 days. Eventually got to 12 drops and had to stop as side effects every step of the way dreadful. Psychiatrist kept telling me to stick with it and my body would get used to it. Eventually down to 8 drops. Bad reactions throughout the time I was on it Have been on this until may 2017. Stopped over two weeks. Felt fine for 5 weeks after initial dizziness, nightmares, nausea, insomnia. Given diazepam by gp and told to take them when anxiety bad. Have only taken them very rarely as they frighten me. Last two weeks severe anxiety returned and feeling hopeless 11July 2017. Cipralex 2mg. Anxiety, nausea still severe 13 July 2017 Cipralex 1mg due to advice of too high dosage by kind person on thus site. so dropped from 2mg to 1mg and feelings of anxiety still at severe. As well as nausea, headaches, fatigue. 15 July still feeling extremely anxious verging on panic. Nausea, feelings of fainting, fatigue. Lots of head pains 3 August. Three weeks into trying to stabilise on one drop of cipralex. Still have waking from 4am. Sporadic upset stomach. Nausea. High anxiety. Throbbing/burning in nether regions seems to have eased for time being but stabbing/burning in calves of legs. Tinnitus. Occasional half to whole better days but mainly still struggling. Fatigue Link to comment
Littlegrandma Posted September 29, 2017 Author Share Posted September 29, 2017 Scorpio i am laughing about it. It really didn't cause added stress. I just thought she was the ignorant one, not looking outside her PDR or her brochures from the drug reps. Have you gotten any relief today?🤞🏻 I can't wait to hear you are feeling good enough to go to the shops. Or outside for a walk with Jude. I should know this, talk about ignorance, but do you get cold winters? I'm dreading winter, but am going to try to make the most of it. Did you find that lexapro intensified the heat? Anything over 70 and I feel like I'm being microwaved. Maybe cold weather is what I need for this taper. There's so little sun here in the winter. That's when I get the blues. Hoping your sleep is more restful tonight 😴Lg🌛 😘 Lex 4.3mg, 3/2/18 Ativan ,5 mg, lunesta 2 mg , toprol 25 mg Oct 16-28 2018 C/O to 19 mg V from 1.5 mg Ativan, 1.3 mg lunesta jan 22 2019- 11 mg V jan 23 - pneumonia, 2 AB’s. Hold taper july 5- 10.72 V July 6- 11 mg V- ugly bad july 11- 10.72 mg V, 4.3 lex, 25 mg toprol Link to comment
Scorpio Posted September 30, 2017 Share Posted September 30, 2017 Hi lg well the rest of my night was good enjoyed a chat show on tv slept til 6.45 and couldn’t get out of bed my husband came up at 8.30 whereupon my floodgates started and haven’t stopped. Nausea is terrible, can’t eat, bowels awful, stomach and tinnitus playing their own noisy tunes and I just want to give up. This week has been hell but today is by far the worst. My husband is at his wits end as he doesn’t know what to do and feels helpless. Natural instinct to get me to a doctor but I won’t go and he’s just frightened like me. Sorry to pour this out on you have only just managed to open computer as been in a ball on settee. Haven’t done a thing. Yes we have grey skies it seems 75% of the year and from October to April can be freezing or raining. Today grey and raining and I love the sun and blue skies so not helping me at all. I enjoy being warm but do sit in the shade a bit more this year if I’m lucky enough to be in the sun i hope I haven’t depressed you and hope you are having a wonderful day today if you are enjoy it for me. 2006 After sudden death of mother put on 20mg of citaloprom for depression. 2014 Drug stopped working after two weeks of panic attacks felt fine. Aug 2014. Doctor put me on lyrica for rash on face, diarrhoea, sleeplessness,muscle cramp, bruising. Initial dose too strong, halved dose. Stopped taking it 22/10/14 2014 severe anxiety after several ssri's attempted, seem to have developed severe sensitivity to any drug, but giving severe reactions put on cipralex drop form.started on 2 drops and had to increase by 1 drop every 3 days. Eventually got to 12 drops and had to stop as side effects every step of the way dreadful. Psychiatrist kept telling me to stick with it and my body would get used to it. Eventually down to 8 drops. Bad reactions throughout the time I was on it Have been on this until may 2017. Stopped over two weeks. Felt fine for 5 weeks after initial dizziness, nightmares, nausea, insomnia. Given diazepam by gp and told to take them when anxiety bad. Have only taken them very rarely as they frighten me. Last two weeks severe anxiety returned and feeling hopeless 11July 2017. Cipralex 2mg. Anxiety, nausea still severe 13 July 2017 Cipralex 1mg due to advice of too high dosage by kind person on thus site. so dropped from 2mg to 1mg and feelings of anxiety still at severe. As well as nausea, headaches, fatigue. 15 July still feeling extremely anxious verging on panic. Nausea, feelings of fainting, fatigue. Lots of head pains 3 August. Three weeks into trying to stabilise on one drop of cipralex. Still have waking from 4am. Sporadic upset stomach. Nausea. High anxiety. Throbbing/burning in nether regions seems to have eased for time being but stabbing/burning in calves of legs. Tinnitus. Occasional half to whole better days but mainly still struggling. Fatigue Link to comment
Littlegrandma Posted September 30, 2017 Author Share Posted September 30, 2017 Scorpio, I'm so sorry. I don't know what a doctor would do but maybe rule out something else going on with your gut. I know eating is impossible for you. Have you tried making your own smoothies? I've lived on them for months, when the thought of chewing and swallow food was overwhelming. I do half veggies, spinach, cucumber, carrots, and now avocado at the advice of Powerback. I switch it up....whatever fresh veggies I have I frig. I keep frozen fruits and add those for flavor. I add a touch of orange or tart cherry juice and the rest rice milk. I also add Metamucil for additional fiber. It helps with the stomach pain and keeps everything regular. I also add yogurt once a day as I don't like it plain. I just started adding a tbs of coconut oil. That and the avocado at least has a little fat for weight gain. I've never been a healthy eater, but I cut out sugars and caffeine months ago. By dinner time I have been able to eat the last few weeks, most nights. Even had pizza last night. Doesn't seem to have any adverse effects this morning. The nausea is terrible. I still have it everyday but like the headaches, it's getting milder. Please don't talk of giving up. I know you are in hell but it will get better. Your body is so weak and needs some nutrients. You can sip the smoothies when chewing is nauseating in itself. I also found Vega chocolate flavored protein shakes. No whey in it. Pea protein and other vegetable protein. I finally gained a couple pounds. I think I feel better for it. Do you have a Ninja or other smoothie maker? 150$ or less. Well worth the investment. 8:30 am and still in bed. I got up to eat and take my meds and supplements. I have the house to myself, so far, and just feel like being lazy. I have headache, sore glands, and coughing. So after a hectic week I'm going to chill and give my brain a break. You are not depressing me. I worry about you. Please write as often as you feel like venting. Just wish there was something I could do. Big hugs, lg Lex 4.3mg, 3/2/18 Ativan ,5 mg, lunesta 2 mg , toprol 25 mg Oct 16-28 2018 C/O to 19 mg V from 1.5 mg Ativan, 1.3 mg lunesta jan 22 2019- 11 mg V jan 23 - pneumonia, 2 AB’s. Hold taper july 5- 10.72 V July 6- 11 mg V- ugly bad july 11- 10.72 mg V, 4.3 lex, 25 mg toprol Link to comment
Scorpio Posted September 30, 2017 Share Posted September 30, 2017 Hi lg thank you for responding and for the good ideas on smoothies. I am so pleased you are managing to put on a few pounds. It will make you feel so much better. I do have a ninja but haven’t used it for a long time. Will try and muster enthusiasm and energy to give it a go but not today. I still have a couple of cups of tea a day in the morning but sugars went long ago as chocolate etc disagreed with me when first put on this drug. How is your husband is he feeling better as you say you on your own this morning. I am sorry to hear your glands are up together with coughing and headache have you caught his virus or something from the children. I feel so scared as today seems even worse than others even though I have had many bad days in the past. How good you are able to enjoy pizza it will get better and better. I am not a huge eater but did enjoy cooking and nice meals but now it is can I manage to make a meal plus I eat fruit a lot. Hope you are enjoying your free time hugs. 2006 After sudden death of mother put on 20mg of citaloprom for depression. 2014 Drug stopped working after two weeks of panic attacks felt fine. Aug 2014. Doctor put me on lyrica for rash on face, diarrhoea, sleeplessness,muscle cramp, bruising. Initial dose too strong, halved dose. Stopped taking it 22/10/14 2014 severe anxiety after several ssri's attempted, seem to have developed severe sensitivity to any drug, but giving severe reactions put on cipralex drop form.started on 2 drops and had to increase by 1 drop every 3 days. Eventually got to 12 drops and had to stop as side effects every step of the way dreadful. Psychiatrist kept telling me to stick with it and my body would get used to it. Eventually down to 8 drops. Bad reactions throughout the time I was on it Have been on this until may 2017. Stopped over two weeks. Felt fine for 5 weeks after initial dizziness, nightmares, nausea, insomnia. Given diazepam by gp and told to take them when anxiety bad. Have only taken them very rarely as they frighten me. Last two weeks severe anxiety returned and feeling hopeless 11July 2017. Cipralex 2mg. Anxiety, nausea still severe 13 July 2017 Cipralex 1mg due to advice of too high dosage by kind person on thus site. so dropped from 2mg to 1mg and feelings of anxiety still at severe. As well as nausea, headaches, fatigue. 15 July still feeling extremely anxious verging on panic. Nausea, feelings of fainting, fatigue. Lots of head pains 3 August. Three weeks into trying to stabilise on one drop of cipralex. Still have waking from 4am. Sporadic upset stomach. Nausea. High anxiety. Throbbing/burning in nether regions seems to have eased for time being but stabbing/burning in calves of legs. Tinnitus. Occasional half to whole better days but mainly still struggling. Fatigue Link to comment
Littlegrandma Posted September 30, 2017 Author Share Posted September 30, 2017 Scorpio I was hoping for a better day but the nausea hit and headache increased. Feeling really depressed. I was hoping to get outside a bit but haven't moved much. My husband had to go to work tho he's still quite sick. They have a big job in the city that he had to be there for. I feel bad for him. I am also scared today. I'm wondering if the psych doc isn't correct when she said chances are the fog and depression won't lift without a drug. Don't want to believe it, but I'm having doubts about my whole life and future now. I'm tired of living this way. Really getting to me today. I'm sad you're feeling worse today. I don't know how you can be any lower. I at least hope for a reprieve tonight so you can enjoy tv again. What a sad existence we are living right now. Hoping for a better tomorrow for you. Lg Lex 4.3mg, 3/2/18 Ativan ,5 mg, lunesta 2 mg , toprol 25 mg Oct 16-28 2018 C/O to 19 mg V from 1.5 mg Ativan, 1.3 mg lunesta jan 22 2019- 11 mg V jan 23 - pneumonia, 2 AB’s. Hold taper july 5- 10.72 V July 6- 11 mg V- ugly bad july 11- 10.72 mg V, 4.3 lex, 25 mg toprol Link to comment
Scorpio Posted October 1, 2017 Share Posted October 1, 2017 Hi lg No that's the depression that's making you think like that about the drugs and the stupid woman's comments which we know are so wrong I am in the same hopeless place. She upset you and it's playing on your mind. Don't let it get to you I know it's very difficult. im sorry you also had a bad day what a couple we are. Woke at 4 this morning anxiety and depression swamping me again and couldn't get out of bed until 8. Did manage some scrambled egg last night. We are both frightened and scared as the good days are so few at the moment but we have to try and fight this as hard as it is. I am going to try and wash my hair something I couldn't do yesterday and flick a duster if I can so I can at least say I've done something. Fingers crossed. I hope you wake up feeling better as I worry about you to. Big hugs. 2006 After sudden death of mother put on 20mg of citaloprom for depression. 2014 Drug stopped working after two weeks of panic attacks felt fine. Aug 2014. Doctor put me on lyrica for rash on face, diarrhoea, sleeplessness,muscle cramp, bruising. Initial dose too strong, halved dose. Stopped taking it 22/10/14 2014 severe anxiety after several ssri's attempted, seem to have developed severe sensitivity to any drug, but giving severe reactions put on cipralex drop form.started on 2 drops and had to increase by 1 drop every 3 days. Eventually got to 12 drops and had to stop as side effects every step of the way dreadful. Psychiatrist kept telling me to stick with it and my body would get used to it. Eventually down to 8 drops. Bad reactions throughout the time I was on it Have been on this until may 2017. Stopped over two weeks. Felt fine for 5 weeks after initial dizziness, nightmares, nausea, insomnia. Given diazepam by gp and told to take them when anxiety bad. Have only taken them very rarely as they frighten me. Last two weeks severe anxiety returned and feeling hopeless 11July 2017. Cipralex 2mg. Anxiety, nausea still severe 13 July 2017 Cipralex 1mg due to advice of too high dosage by kind person on thus site. so dropped from 2mg to 1mg and feelings of anxiety still at severe. As well as nausea, headaches, fatigue. 15 July still feeling extremely anxious verging on panic. Nausea, feelings of fainting, fatigue. Lots of head pains 3 August. Three weeks into trying to stabilise on one drop of cipralex. Still have waking from 4am. Sporadic upset stomach. Nausea. High anxiety. Throbbing/burning in nether regions seems to have eased for time being but stabbing/burning in calves of legs. Tinnitus. Occasional half to whole better days but mainly still struggling. Fatigue Link to comment
Littlegrandma Posted October 1, 2017 Author Share Posted October 1, 2017 Good morning Scorpio thanks for your words of confidence. Having a tough time believing tho. Rough morning. Almost 10:30 and just starting to move. Heading to our pumpkin patch. My husband is down there working, tho he is still not feeling well. And he had to work 12 hrs yesterday while I played phone games. Our kids are coming to help and am hoping they will bring recruits. It's such a beautiful fall day and I'm hoping I can get some enjoyment out of it. Depression is crushing me today. I hope , since you're attempting some housework, that you're feeling a bit better. I am sick and tired of sitting around while the world is going on without me. Lg Lex 4.3mg, 3/2/18 Ativan ,5 mg, lunesta 2 mg , toprol 25 mg Oct 16-28 2018 C/O to 19 mg V from 1.5 mg Ativan, 1.3 mg lunesta jan 22 2019- 11 mg V jan 23 - pneumonia, 2 AB’s. Hold taper july 5- 10.72 V July 6- 11 mg V- ugly bad july 11- 10.72 mg V, 4.3 lex, 25 mg toprol Link to comment
Scorpio Posted October 1, 2017 Share Posted October 1, 2017 Hi lg well 5pm here and apart from punishing anxiety, nausea and depression plus tinnitus and dizziness not too bad! I haven’t cried today so a plus and yes I washed my hair, dusted right through the house, a flick - not a spring clean and cleaned three sinks and loos plus washed kitchen floor and sink. Then sorted winter shoes etc and put away summer ones - how sad. Another day of grey skies and rain here so depressing. My husband hoovered for me and felt he needed another bath after as he was hot and bothered, blimey I don’t even raise a sweat when I hoover - men! So I kept moving most if the day even managed to eat a banana and yoghurt when I got up and some malt loaf for lunch. So yes slight improvement. Now if my back, anxiety and depression would go I would even start singing and have a little jig as I actually did something. How is the pumpkin patch did you achieve what you wanted and has it lifted your spirits being out and with your family. I am keeping everything crossed that it has. Your poor husband I hope he feels better for having a day in the air. How about your coughing and glands any improvement. We have to keep convincing each other it will get better otherwise the flipping medical profession win and that would be very bad news so we have to keep going not just for ourselves but for our families and to stick the finger to those complacent Doctors. Look forward to hearing about the pumpkin harvest. 2006 After sudden death of mother put on 20mg of citaloprom for depression. 2014 Drug stopped working after two weeks of panic attacks felt fine. Aug 2014. Doctor put me on lyrica for rash on face, diarrhoea, sleeplessness,muscle cramp, bruising. Initial dose too strong, halved dose. Stopped taking it 22/10/14 2014 severe anxiety after several ssri's attempted, seem to have developed severe sensitivity to any drug, but giving severe reactions put on cipralex drop form.started on 2 drops and had to increase by 1 drop every 3 days. Eventually got to 12 drops and had to stop as side effects every step of the way dreadful. Psychiatrist kept telling me to stick with it and my body would get used to it. Eventually down to 8 drops. Bad reactions throughout the time I was on it Have been on this until may 2017. Stopped over two weeks. Felt fine for 5 weeks after initial dizziness, nightmares, nausea, insomnia. Given diazepam by gp and told to take them when anxiety bad. Have only taken them very rarely as they frighten me. Last two weeks severe anxiety returned and feeling hopeless 11July 2017. Cipralex 2mg. Anxiety, nausea still severe 13 July 2017 Cipralex 1mg due to advice of too high dosage by kind person on thus site. so dropped from 2mg to 1mg and feelings of anxiety still at severe. As well as nausea, headaches, fatigue. 15 July still feeling extremely anxious verging on panic. Nausea, feelings of fainting, fatigue. Lots of head pains 3 August. Three weeks into trying to stabilise on one drop of cipralex. Still have waking from 4am. Sporadic upset stomach. Nausea. High anxiety. Throbbing/burning in nether regions seems to have eased for time being but stabbing/burning in calves of legs. Tinnitus. Occasional half to whole better days but mainly still struggling. Fatigue Link to comment
Littlegrandma Posted October 1, 2017 Author Share Posted October 1, 2017 I hope you are sound asleep. With all that physical exercise you should drop off into a good natural sleep. You did good today. Accomplished a lot. Sad when we get an atta boy for cleaning the loo and floors. Ha my day ended up being pretty good. I did some physical work with picking and carrying pumpkins. It eventually melted the depression away. The nausea came and went in waves but when it came, it was difficult to deal with anything. My kids and son in law came and gave me a reprieve. They finished the heavy work. Madelyn and I sat in the yard and play games while Jonathan was napping. And Jonny and I took some nice tractor rides. I guess I need to get moving in the morning and not let the depression carry me away. But, if I don't have structure, it's easy just to have my own pitty party. I'm happy you had a better day and hope tomorrow is even better. Have your husband record you doing that jig. Lg Lex 4.3mg, 3/2/18 Ativan ,5 mg, lunesta 2 mg , toprol 25 mg Oct 16-28 2018 C/O to 19 mg V from 1.5 mg Ativan, 1.3 mg lunesta jan 22 2019- 11 mg V jan 23 - pneumonia, 2 AB’s. Hold taper july 5- 10.72 V July 6- 11 mg V- ugly bad july 11- 10.72 mg V, 4.3 lex, 25 mg toprol Link to comment
Scorpio Posted October 2, 2017 Share Posted October 2, 2017 Hi lg so in the end we both had a better day, lots of room for improvement but better than the few days before - yippee. This morning I managed to get up with the alarm first time in a week at 6.30 had an in off night but woke up not too bad. Had an hour of not too bad then back bad, anxiety, nausea, we have a pensions man coming at 10 so I think that is triggering- how stupid, but managed to put some make up on and look half way to normal. He is due in a minute so will let you know how I end up., I hope you wake up feeling ready for the day, do you have the little ones today and is your mum coming in. 2006 After sudden death of mother put on 20mg of citaloprom for depression. 2014 Drug stopped working after two weeks of panic attacks felt fine. Aug 2014. Doctor put me on lyrica for rash on face, diarrhoea, sleeplessness,muscle cramp, bruising. Initial dose too strong, halved dose. Stopped taking it 22/10/14 2014 severe anxiety after several ssri's attempted, seem to have developed severe sensitivity to any drug, but giving severe reactions put on cipralex drop form.started on 2 drops and had to increase by 1 drop every 3 days. Eventually got to 12 drops and had to stop as side effects every step of the way dreadful. Psychiatrist kept telling me to stick with it and my body would get used to it. Eventually down to 8 drops. Bad reactions throughout the time I was on it Have been on this until may 2017. Stopped over two weeks. Felt fine for 5 weeks after initial dizziness, nightmares, nausea, insomnia. Given diazepam by gp and told to take them when anxiety bad. Have only taken them very rarely as they frighten me. Last two weeks severe anxiety returned and feeling hopeless 11July 2017. Cipralex 2mg. Anxiety, nausea still severe 13 July 2017 Cipralex 1mg due to advice of too high dosage by kind person on thus site. so dropped from 2mg to 1mg and feelings of anxiety still at severe. As well as nausea, headaches, fatigue. 15 July still feeling extremely anxious verging on panic. Nausea, feelings of fainting, fatigue. Lots of head pains 3 August. Three weeks into trying to stabilise on one drop of cipralex. Still have waking from 4am. Sporadic upset stomach. Nausea. High anxiety. Throbbing/burning in nether regions seems to have eased for time being but stabbing/burning in calves of legs. Tinnitus. Occasional half to whole better days but mainly still struggling. Fatigue Link to comment
Littlegrandma Posted October 2, 2017 Author Share Posted October 2, 2017 Scorpio, really scared this morning. Depression,anxiety, and fatigue have got me paralyzed. I tried to get up but legs are like jello. And I am so foggy. Kids will be here in a couple hours and not sure I can handle them today. Holding on to the fact that yesterday was better. Hope you feel better and more relaxed after the pension guy has come and gone. And you have makeup on so maybe you can treat hubby to a nice lunch. Lg Lex 4.3mg, 3/2/18 Ativan ,5 mg, lunesta 2 mg , toprol 25 mg Oct 16-28 2018 C/O to 19 mg V from 1.5 mg Ativan, 1.3 mg lunesta jan 22 2019- 11 mg V jan 23 - pneumonia, 2 AB’s. Hold taper july 5- 10.72 V July 6- 11 mg V- ugly bad july 11- 10.72 mg V, 4.3 lex, 25 mg toprol Link to comment
Scorpio Posted October 2, 2017 Share Posted October 2, 2017 Hi lg oh no how are you now. Did it get any better for you, I have also deteriorated during the day and anxiety and nausea has ramped up again plus tinnitus but got through pensions man and went to Southampton about twenty miles away with my husband as he wanted to buy a tv. Cooking for all of us a roast dinner but Luisa is just calling in to collect fortunately as they are still trying with the bedtime routine. I have overdone it I think again as back and everything is rotten but I am upright so in a scale probably 4 out of 10 last week was 1 out of ten so as bubble said better. But not really. Is your mum with you to help with the children I really hope so and will keep fingers crossed it improves for you during the day isn’t it horrible when yesterday we both had a little break from the agony. I haven’t got Jude until Wednesday as Jordan is off today while Luisa is at work and doesn’t go to work until 6 tomorrow night as he is covering football match. So a chance for my back. Let me know if you have coped, keeping everything crossed for you. 2006 After sudden death of mother put on 20mg of citaloprom for depression. 2014 Drug stopped working after two weeks of panic attacks felt fine. Aug 2014. Doctor put me on lyrica for rash on face, diarrhoea, sleeplessness,muscle cramp, bruising. Initial dose too strong, halved dose. Stopped taking it 22/10/14 2014 severe anxiety after several ssri's attempted, seem to have developed severe sensitivity to any drug, but giving severe reactions put on cipralex drop form.started on 2 drops and had to increase by 1 drop every 3 days. Eventually got to 12 drops and had to stop as side effects every step of the way dreadful. Psychiatrist kept telling me to stick with it and my body would get used to it. Eventually down to 8 drops. Bad reactions throughout the time I was on it Have been on this until may 2017. Stopped over two weeks. Felt fine for 5 weeks after initial dizziness, nightmares, nausea, insomnia. Given diazepam by gp and told to take them when anxiety bad. Have only taken them very rarely as they frighten me. Last two weeks severe anxiety returned and feeling hopeless 11July 2017. Cipralex 2mg. Anxiety, nausea still severe 13 July 2017 Cipralex 1mg due to advice of too high dosage by kind person on thus site. so dropped from 2mg to 1mg and feelings of anxiety still at severe. As well as nausea, headaches, fatigue. 15 July still feeling extremely anxious verging on panic. Nausea, feelings of fainting, fatigue. Lots of head pains 3 August. Three weeks into trying to stabilise on one drop of cipralex. Still have waking from 4am. Sporadic upset stomach. Nausea. High anxiety. Throbbing/burning in nether regions seems to have eased for time being but stabbing/burning in calves of legs. Tinnitus. Occasional half to whole better days but mainly still struggling. Fatigue Link to comment
Littlegrandma Posted October 2, 2017 Author Share Posted October 2, 2017 We are a pair! When will this end? I'm really thinking, when I feel this low, that maybe I will need another a/d drug. The kids won't be here for an hour but I can't seem to get in gear. The fatigue is overwhelming. They won't be here again til Friday, well that always changes, so maybe some alone time will help me a bit. I was hoping your day would get better and better. 4/10 is not really good at all, but like you said maybe that will improve after a couple days of not picking up your cutie. I am planning on taking the kids to the river to feed the ducks. Sitting in the sun by the water sounds relaxing. And we will probably stop by and pick up my mom. She hates to miss out on anything. It was good to hear from JS. Wish she was having a better time of it! Don't know how she is going to be able to work. Mmmmm roast beef sounds great Lg Lex 4.3mg, 3/2/18 Ativan ,5 mg, lunesta 2 mg , toprol 25 mg Oct 16-28 2018 C/O to 19 mg V from 1.5 mg Ativan, 1.3 mg lunesta jan 22 2019- 11 mg V jan 23 - pneumonia, 2 AB’s. Hold taper july 5- 10.72 V July 6- 11 mg V- ugly bad july 11- 10.72 mg V, 4.3 lex, 25 mg toprol Link to comment
jkun41 Posted October 2, 2017 Share Posted October 2, 2017 Hi LG, I'm not sure if it's financially viable, but you may want to consider getting a personal counsellor experienced in therapy for depression and anxiety. They're usually much more open to the idea of withdrawal, as well as able to offer advice that doesn't revolve around medications. Im lucky in that I pay for a health plan through my college (I went back to school as a mature student last year.) I've been seeing both a therapist and more recently a personal counsellor. I actually seen a psychiatrist because I was having worries about "going crazy" and he was alot more supportive of therapy than medication. He offered a couple suggestions for medications if I wanted to try something down the road, but seemed very please I was going the therapy route. I actually chuckled because he was more happy that I had found a personal counsellor alongside my therapist (who is an Md trained in sports medicine and CBT.) (Long winded) point being, it might be nice for you to get out and talk to someone who is experienced with what you're feeling, but doesn't prescribe medications. Also, if it makes you feel any better, my counsellor told me that brain fog is very common in depression. I'm not sure if you struggled with depression prior to meds, but I do know that withdrawal and anxiety wears us down which causes waves of depression. Im 28 and was on Zoloft for 2 months and the foggy feeling scares the crap out of me, but I'd be willing to wager that it's highly likely you're feeling this way due to withdrawal, not because you're permanently damaged. Something I think all of us have trouble doing is being kind to ourselves. I am very cynical and struggle with this alot. Nonetheless, I'll offer this piece of advice to you: be kind and compassionate to yourself. Revel in your successes no matter how small, and most importantly, label anxiety/depression/withdrawal for the disgusting illness that it is. Separate yourself from it. I know it's hard to believe, but keep telling yourself you feel this way because of an illness that you'll beat. It can make you feel damaged, but that doesn't mean that you are! Jan. 21, 2017: 50 mg Zoloft for moderate-severe social anxiety end of Feb. 2017: 100 mg one time, contracted flu, missed 2 doses (50 mg); subsequent panic attacks Mar. 22: 50 mg every other day Mar. 31: 25 mg every other day April 16: 0 mg April - September: 2-3 Ativan a month. October - 1 Ativan November - 1 Ativan Completely off Ativan as of December 2017. Link to comment
Scorpio Posted October 2, 2017 Share Posted October 2, 2017 Hi lg no we do not need another drug although I fully understand and agree that when we feel so helpless and hopeless we just want someone to take the pain away unfortunately it is our known personal battle but you and I will do it remember the finger job we are going to do when better! Yes it was good to hear from js I was so worried she had given in but no she has worked the whole time amazing how does she do it and move as well. Dinner cooked and we took it round to them as it was all a bit late and I got to have a big cuddle and very wet open mouthed kiss. I think he needs work on his technique. Feeding the ducks in the sun by the river sounds perfect and with your mum by your side I am sure you will improve, what are you going to do tomorrow? If you are depressed you need your mum or someone to drag you out if possible. Says me having not gone anywhere for the past 8 days. Just wish you lived in Hampshire over here not there. 2006 After sudden death of mother put on 20mg of citaloprom for depression. 2014 Drug stopped working after two weeks of panic attacks felt fine. Aug 2014. Doctor put me on lyrica for rash on face, diarrhoea, sleeplessness,muscle cramp, bruising. Initial dose too strong, halved dose. Stopped taking it 22/10/14 2014 severe anxiety after several ssri's attempted, seem to have developed severe sensitivity to any drug, but giving severe reactions put on cipralex drop form.started on 2 drops and had to increase by 1 drop every 3 days. Eventually got to 12 drops and had to stop as side effects every step of the way dreadful. Psychiatrist kept telling me to stick with it and my body would get used to it. Eventually down to 8 drops. Bad reactions throughout the time I was on it Have been on this until may 2017. Stopped over two weeks. Felt fine for 5 weeks after initial dizziness, nightmares, nausea, insomnia. Given diazepam by gp and told to take them when anxiety bad. Have only taken them very rarely as they frighten me. Last two weeks severe anxiety returned and feeling hopeless 11July 2017. Cipralex 2mg. Anxiety, nausea still severe 13 July 2017 Cipralex 1mg due to advice of too high dosage by kind person on thus site. so dropped from 2mg to 1mg and feelings of anxiety still at severe. As well as nausea, headaches, fatigue. 15 July still feeling extremely anxious verging on panic. Nausea, feelings of fainting, fatigue. Lots of head pains 3 August. Three weeks into trying to stabilise on one drop of cipralex. Still have waking from 4am. Sporadic upset stomach. Nausea. High anxiety. Throbbing/burning in nether regions seems to have eased for time being but stabbing/burning in calves of legs. Tinnitus. Occasional half to whole better days but mainly still struggling. Fatigue Link to comment
Littlegrandma Posted October 2, 2017 Author Share Posted October 2, 2017 1 hour ago, jkun41 said: Hi LG, I'm not sure if it's financially viable, but you may want to consider getting a personal counsellor experienced in therapy for depression and anxiety. They're usually much more open to the idea of withdrawal, as well as able to offer advice that doesn't revolve around medications. Im lucky in that I pay for a health plan through my college (I went back to school as a mature student last year.) I've been seeing both a therapist and more recently a personal counsellor. I actually seen a psychiatrist because I was having worries about "going crazy" and he was alot more supportive of therapy than medication. He offered a couple suggestions for medications if I wanted to try something down the road, but seemed very please I was going the therapy route. I actually chuckled because he was more happy that I had found a personal counsellor alongside my therapist (who is an Md trained in sports medicine and CBT.) (Long winded) point being, it might be nice for you to get out and talk to someone who is experienced with what you're feeling, but doesn't prescribe medications. Also, if it makes you feel any better, my counsellor told me that brain fog is very common in depression. I'm not sure if you struggled with depression prior to meds, but I do know that withdrawal and anxiety wears us down which causes waves of depression. Im 28 and was on Zoloft for 2 months and the foggy feeling scares the crap out of me, but I'd be willing to wager that it's highly likely you're feeling this way due to withdrawal, not because you're permanently damaged. Something I think all of us have trouble doing is being kind to ourselves. I am very cynical and struggle with this alot. Nonetheless, I'll offer this piece of advice to you: be kind and compassionate to yourself. Revel in your successes no matter how small, and most importantly, label anxiety/depression/withdrawal for the disgusting illness that it is. Separate yourself from it. I know it's hard to believe, but keep telling yourself you feel this way because of an illness that you'll beat. It can make you feel damaged, but that doesn't mean that you are! Lex 4.3mg, 3/2/18 Ativan ,5 mg, lunesta 2 mg , toprol 25 mg Oct 16-28 2018 C/O to 19 mg V from 1.5 mg Ativan, 1.3 mg lunesta jan 22 2019- 11 mg V jan 23 - pneumonia, 2 AB’s. Hold taper july 5- 10.72 V July 6- 11 mg V- ugly bad july 11- 10.72 mg V, 4.3 lex, 25 mg toprol Link to comment
Littlegrandma Posted October 2, 2017 Author Share Posted October 2, 2017 Hello jk you are the voice of reason. I actually have a new therapist I've only seen 4 or 5 times. But I really like her. It's hard for us to get to the heart as every time I've seen her , the w/d had been so bad. I didn't really suffer much depression prior to lexapro, but anxiety. But the foggy head has been all through the use of lex and prior to. But I'm sure a psych test would have labeled me depressed. I have a few good hours or even most of a day, them bam. Symptoms are back with a vengeance. Today is all of the symptoms. Every one ever posted on SA. I'm trying to take care of my grandkids and it's so hard. I can not stop crying. It's just uncontrollable. I'm rarely like this. Ive been hanging tough for 4 months now, but feel like I'm collapsing. I don't really want to go on another med. this one has caused hell for me. But today I feel so utterly desperate. Every time I get a glimmer of hope, that the W/D is letting up, I get knocked down. And I've still got 5 mg of lex and 2 other meds to go. You are wise for your age. I appreciate your kind, common sense words. And I will heed them. I will wipe my snot, play with the babies, and read your post over and over. Thanks jk. You are what I needed today!!!! Lg Lex 4.3mg, 3/2/18 Ativan ,5 mg, lunesta 2 mg , toprol 25 mg Oct 16-28 2018 C/O to 19 mg V from 1.5 mg Ativan, 1.3 mg lunesta jan 22 2019- 11 mg V jan 23 - pneumonia, 2 AB’s. Hold taper july 5- 10.72 V July 6- 11 mg V- ugly bad july 11- 10.72 mg V, 4.3 lex, 25 mg toprol Link to comment
Littlegrandma Posted October 2, 2017 Author Share Posted October 2, 2017 1 hour ago, Scorpio said: Hi lg no we do not need another drug although I fully understand and agree that when we feel so helpless and hopeless we just want someone to take the pain away unfortunately it is our known personal battle but you and I will do it remember the finger job we are going to do when better! Yes it was good to hear from js I was so worried she had given in but no she has worked the whole time amazing how does she do it and move as well. Dinner cooked and we took it round to them as it was all a bit late and I got to have a big cuddle and very wet open mouthed kiss. I think he needs work on his technique. Feeding the ducks in the sun by the river sounds perfect and with your mum by your side I am sure you will improve, what are you going to do tomorrow? If you are depressed you need your mum or someone to drag you out if possible. Says me having not gone anywhere for the past 8 days. Just wish you lived in Hampshire over here not there. You always make my day, Scorpio. I love your sense of humor. Glad you still have it under these crappy circumstances. I'm taking a quick break from Barbie dolls. Haven't made it to the river yet. Jonathan brought me his puppy and blanket. Apparently his hint it was nap time. Never had a kid like that before. I know you and jk are right about not needing another drug. I was just having a desperate moment. Some days I feel like this is never going to end. I get a tease with a good afternoon, then hit with hell. The crying is uncontrollable at times. I hate it. Especially when the kids are around. Well, Barbie and her grocery store are calling me. PS Madelyn and her giant cast are so darn cute. She's been handling it like a trooper. Tougher than her little grandma right now. Hope your roast was delicious and your night relaxing. Lg Lex 4.3mg, 3/2/18 Ativan ,5 mg, lunesta 2 mg , toprol 25 mg Oct 16-28 2018 C/O to 19 mg V from 1.5 mg Ativan, 1.3 mg lunesta jan 22 2019- 11 mg V jan 23 - pneumonia, 2 AB’s. Hold taper july 5- 10.72 V July 6- 11 mg V- ugly bad july 11- 10.72 mg V, 4.3 lex, 25 mg toprol Link to comment
Scorpio Posted October 2, 2017 Share Posted October 2, 2017 Hi lg i think both you and Madelyn are doing amazingly. I never had anxiety before this drug and depression was my complaint originally when I went on citaloprom but it was never like this the uncontrollable crying and despair. We both have it and it is definitely the drug leaving our body and our brains reworking we both have and we will both get over it but yes it is so hard and when it hits the despair makes us both convinced it is never going to go but that is the drug playing tricks. All we have to do is be strong enough to know that this us what it us or remind each other when we are going through it. So LG not you it’s w/d not lack of drugs it’s W/d and it will go away and so will the debilitating nausea and anxiety and all the other horrible symptoms. How good is Jonathan telling you he wants a nap I am so impressed I used to love playing with Luisa and her dolls and doing crafty things with her. She had a model head when she was about 4 that she could style the hair but would get carried away and start on me plus make up - god the sight she made me look. I hope the children are helping you feel a little better cos tomorrow we get to fight another day. We had glimpses of sunshine today but was very windy the leftovers of the last hurricane in the Caribbean. Typical they have sun, warmth and blue skies and what do we get sent over rain, wind and grey skies. So shocked about Las Vegas, how sad those poor people all out enjoying themselves. We have been their about 8 times and stayed at the Mandalay the year after it opened. Keep going and I am hoping you have a better afternoon and night. Speak tomorrow. 2006 After sudden death of mother put on 20mg of citaloprom for depression. 2014 Drug stopped working after two weeks of panic attacks felt fine. Aug 2014. Doctor put me on lyrica for rash on face, diarrhoea, sleeplessness,muscle cramp, bruising. Initial dose too strong, halved dose. Stopped taking it 22/10/14 2014 severe anxiety after several ssri's attempted, seem to have developed severe sensitivity to any drug, but giving severe reactions put on cipralex drop form.started on 2 drops and had to increase by 1 drop every 3 days. Eventually got to 12 drops and had to stop as side effects every step of the way dreadful. Psychiatrist kept telling me to stick with it and my body would get used to it. Eventually down to 8 drops. Bad reactions throughout the time I was on it Have been on this until may 2017. Stopped over two weeks. Felt fine for 5 weeks after initial dizziness, nightmares, nausea, insomnia. Given diazepam by gp and told to take them when anxiety bad. Have only taken them very rarely as they frighten me. Last two weeks severe anxiety returned and feeling hopeless 11July 2017. Cipralex 2mg. Anxiety, nausea still severe 13 July 2017 Cipralex 1mg due to advice of too high dosage by kind person on thus site. so dropped from 2mg to 1mg and feelings of anxiety still at severe. As well as nausea, headaches, fatigue. 15 July still feeling extremely anxious verging on panic. Nausea, feelings of fainting, fatigue. Lots of head pains 3 August. Three weeks into trying to stabilise on one drop of cipralex. Still have waking from 4am. Sporadic upset stomach. Nausea. High anxiety. Throbbing/burning in nether regions seems to have eased for time being but stabbing/burning in calves of legs. Tinnitus. Occasional half to whole better days but mainly still struggling. Fatigue Link to comment
Littlegrandma Posted October 2, 2017 Author Share Posted October 2, 2017 1 hour ago, Scorpio said: Hi lg i think both you and Madelyn are doing amazingly. I never had anxiety before this drug and depression was my complaint originally when I went on citaloprom but it was never like this the uncontrollable crying and despair. We both have it and it is definitely the drug leaving our body and our brains reworking we both have and we will both get over it but yes it is so hard and when it hits the despair makes us both convinced it is never going to go but that is the drug playing tricks. All we have to do is be strong enough to know that this us what it us or remind each other when we are going through it. So LG not you it’s w/d not lack of drugs it’s W/d and it will go away and so will the debilitating nausea and anxiety and all the other horrible symptoms. How good is Jonathan telling you he wants a nap I am so impressed I used to love playing with Luisa and her dolls and doing crafty things with her. She had a model head when she was about 4 that she could style the hair but would get carried away and start on me plus make up - god the sight she made me look. I hope the children are helping you feel a little better cos tomorrow we get to fight another day. We had glimpses of sunshine today but was very windy the leftovers of the last hurricane in the Caribbean. Typical they have sun, warmth and blue skies and what do we get sent over rain, wind and grey skies. So shocked about Las Vegas, how sad those poor people all out enjoying themselves. We have been their about 8 times and stayed at the Mandalay the year after it opened. Keep going and I am hoping you have a better afternoon and night. Speak tomorrow. You're words made me cry again. But a good cry. thinking of you and Luisa playing beauty parlor. So sweet. Madelyn loves that too. We get out the palette of eye color and usually end up looking like clowns. And we always have to put the sparkly polish on our nails. Lauren is such a tomboy. I had to sit on her to do makeup for school dances. The last time she wore makeup was for her wedding 8 yrs ago. She looked so beautiful! And I take to heart your words of the drugs causing these emotions. I know it's w/d. But some days I feel it is never going to end. And it scares me so. Like you and everybody else on SA, I just want to live my life. Every day is such a struggle. But after a few weeks of hope, thinking this round is nearing the end, and actually thinking of my next taper, this morning I got hit with ALL the symptoms. The anxiety, fatigue, depression, nausea, sore eyes and gut. The fog and the d/p and d/r are the worst. Terrifying! and the tears are uncontrollable. Can't turn them off for anything. I especially hate to cry in front of my kids. It makes them feel so helpless. And makes me feel like the child. So sad about Las Vegas. I said the same. People just enjoying their lives. Scary world, sometimes. And also sad about Tom Petty. I love him. Thank you for everything. My words these days are so simple. Hard to come by. But I look forward to hearing from you everyday and appreciate your support. ❤️Lg Lex 4.3mg, 3/2/18 Ativan ,5 mg, lunesta 2 mg , toprol 25 mg Oct 16-28 2018 C/O to 19 mg V from 1.5 mg Ativan, 1.3 mg lunesta jan 22 2019- 11 mg V jan 23 - pneumonia, 2 AB’s. Hold taper july 5- 10.72 V July 6- 11 mg V- ugly bad july 11- 10.72 mg V, 4.3 lex, 25 mg toprol Link to comment
Scorpio Posted October 3, 2017 Share Posted October 3, 2017 Hi lg i envy you playing little girl games, never having had boys it is all a mystery, but wires, plugs, ornaments seem to be his favourites at the moment. My nephew and wife have two lovely children a girl and boy, William is two and a half and Sunday managed to get hold of a liquid gel washing capsule and tried to eat it. Rushed to hospital and 4 hours observation for him thank good he is none the worse and home again with his mummy locking all doors in kitchen oh god what a responsibility we have. The nature of w/d is so horrible and we both, when it is full blown, are convinced there is no end but step back and think of Sunday you felt a little better and you will feel better again very soon. I hope you get a good nights sleep as that definitely helps to face the day. We have the same horrible symptoms and we are both going up and down like yo-yos with no stability yet. It is taking so long to get there but we are going to get there. We will not rush tapering let’s just balance for a while first or we will just make things worse, slowly, slowly catch the monkey. This morning I woke about 5.45 - good - but very noise tinnitus, nausea and anxiety back. Forced myself up at 6.45 and facing the day. Make up on, hair washed and not my usual scruffy clothes for wearing round the house, still jeans and jumper but slightly smarter. Going to try and go out with husband as he was becoming stir crazy last week hopefully it will distract me and allow me to feel a bit better. Will let you know in our next episode. What are you doing today if no plans make yourself ring your mum for support either get her over or try the market or something to try and distract you even feeding the ducks again might help. Hope you have another sunny day, sun is out here but only about 55 degrees here although it is only 10am. I value your support just as much through this nightmare big hugs 2006 After sudden death of mother put on 20mg of citaloprom for depression. 2014 Drug stopped working after two weeks of panic attacks felt fine. Aug 2014. Doctor put me on lyrica for rash on face, diarrhoea, sleeplessness,muscle cramp, bruising. Initial dose too strong, halved dose. Stopped taking it 22/10/14 2014 severe anxiety after several ssri's attempted, seem to have developed severe sensitivity to any drug, but giving severe reactions put on cipralex drop form.started on 2 drops and had to increase by 1 drop every 3 days. Eventually got to 12 drops and had to stop as side effects every step of the way dreadful. Psychiatrist kept telling me to stick with it and my body would get used to it. Eventually down to 8 drops. Bad reactions throughout the time I was on it Have been on this until may 2017. Stopped over two weeks. Felt fine for 5 weeks after initial dizziness, nightmares, nausea, insomnia. Given diazepam by gp and told to take them when anxiety bad. Have only taken them very rarely as they frighten me. Last two weeks severe anxiety returned and feeling hopeless 11July 2017. Cipralex 2mg. Anxiety, nausea still severe 13 July 2017 Cipralex 1mg due to advice of too high dosage by kind person on thus site. so dropped from 2mg to 1mg and feelings of anxiety still at severe. As well as nausea, headaches, fatigue. 15 July still feeling extremely anxious verging on panic. Nausea, feelings of fainting, fatigue. Lots of head pains 3 August. Three weeks into trying to stabilise on one drop of cipralex. Still have waking from 4am. Sporadic upset stomach. Nausea. High anxiety. Throbbing/burning in nether regions seems to have eased for time being but stabbing/burning in calves of legs. Tinnitus. Occasional half to whole better days but mainly still struggling. Fatigue Link to comment
Littlegrandma Posted October 3, 2017 Author Share Posted October 3, 2017 I was just thinking this morning, as I was loading my dishwasher, that I need to lock the cabinet, as Lauren is so worried about Jonathan getting ahold of the soap capsule. Im glad William is ok. I will put them up in a high cabinet. I'm at my wits end today. Feel like I have nothing left to fight with. I'm going to lay low. Don't feel like seeing anybody. I'm glad you're getting up and out. Our poor husbands are in this as much as we are. Paul made a comment last night that his motorcycle must feel abandoned. "She" probably thinks he bought a new one. Ha hope your day is fun! Lg Lex 4.3mg, 3/2/18 Ativan ,5 mg, lunesta 2 mg , toprol 25 mg Oct 16-28 2018 C/O to 19 mg V from 1.5 mg Ativan, 1.3 mg lunesta jan 22 2019- 11 mg V jan 23 - pneumonia, 2 AB’s. Hold taper july 5- 10.72 V July 6- 11 mg V- ugly bad july 11- 10.72 mg V, 4.3 lex, 25 mg toprol Link to comment
Scorpio Posted October 3, 2017 Share Posted October 3, 2017 Hi lg yes I think the dangers of children being attracted to these things is only just becoming more public knowledge. We are starting to get adverts saying keep out of reach of children so there have obviously been a lot of incidents. William is busy getting into his next plan of mischief I expect. Oh you poor thing, keep going, it is going to get better, remember last week you were out and about and I was the one curled on the settee duvet over me unable to eat and crying continuously. Our husbands both deserve medals and the bikes will get there moment soon. I hope he is feeling better and back to cooking you nutritious meals to tempt you. My husbands idea of tempting meals would be beans on toast or sardines on toast! If you don’t want to see anybody that’s fine but play on the computer or read or try and suck your toes anything to distract you even for 10 minutes. We have actually had sun today for most of the day which made me feel better just being in it. Made it to Chichester with Tony and even had a snack lunch in marks and Spencer’s restaurant- something I often cannot do. You can remind me if all this next time I’m crying to the moon. Home now after four hours out and back painful, anxiety still struggling through but the tinnitus is so loud. Trying to ignore it but hard to do. Keep remembering what you did last week and Sunday. I promise it is going to get better just try and keep fighting. If we weren’t on w/d I’d say have a gin but it probably won’t help. One day we will both be able to eat all the chocolate of offer and drink whatever we want to. Let me know how the rest of the day goes will be thinking of you. Hugs. 2006 After sudden death of mother put on 20mg of citaloprom for depression. 2014 Drug stopped working after two weeks of panic attacks felt fine. Aug 2014. Doctor put me on lyrica for rash on face, diarrhoea, sleeplessness,muscle cramp, bruising. Initial dose too strong, halved dose. Stopped taking it 22/10/14 2014 severe anxiety after several ssri's attempted, seem to have developed severe sensitivity to any drug, but giving severe reactions put on cipralex drop form.started on 2 drops and had to increase by 1 drop every 3 days. Eventually got to 12 drops and had to stop as side effects every step of the way dreadful. Psychiatrist kept telling me to stick with it and my body would get used to it. Eventually down to 8 drops. Bad reactions throughout the time I was on it Have been on this until may 2017. Stopped over two weeks. Felt fine for 5 weeks after initial dizziness, nightmares, nausea, insomnia. Given diazepam by gp and told to take them when anxiety bad. Have only taken them very rarely as they frighten me. Last two weeks severe anxiety returned and feeling hopeless 11July 2017. Cipralex 2mg. Anxiety, nausea still severe 13 July 2017 Cipralex 1mg due to advice of too high dosage by kind person on thus site. so dropped from 2mg to 1mg and feelings of anxiety still at severe. As well as nausea, headaches, fatigue. 15 July still feeling extremely anxious verging on panic. Nausea, feelings of fainting, fatigue. Lots of head pains 3 August. Three weeks into trying to stabilise on one drop of cipralex. Still have waking from 4am. Sporadic upset stomach. Nausea. High anxiety. Throbbing/burning in nether regions seems to have eased for time being but stabbing/burning in calves of legs. Tinnitus. Occasional half to whole better days but mainly still struggling. Fatigue Link to comment
Littlegrandma Posted October 3, 2017 Author Share Posted October 3, 2017 I am so glad you got out today. And no more crying to the moon! This is the beginning of good things for you. How wonderful that would be. My husband cracked a beer last night and for a brief second i was tempted. Sounded so good. But I thought of your last experience with wine and beer. Not a good idea. I just wanted it to take me to a happy place. My hubby will be working nights for 14 days straight starting Sunday. He wasn't going to do it because he didn't want to leave me alone. But the money is insane. I'm thinking what nice trips we can use it for next summer when I'm feeling good again. I'm knocking on wood right now, but I have avoided the tinnitus. I do get some ringing in the ears but it doesn't last long. Knock Knock I'm just being a bum today. Playing games on my phone and talking on it to a few people. No motivation today. So as long as I don't have any responsibilities I'm just staying in my pj's and hunkering down. Glad today was better for you. I am looking forward to the day when we're both out enjoying life. And we can write about what fun we had. Hugs Lex 4.3mg, 3/2/18 Ativan ,5 mg, lunesta 2 mg , toprol 25 mg Oct 16-28 2018 C/O to 19 mg V from 1.5 mg Ativan, 1.3 mg lunesta jan 22 2019- 11 mg V jan 23 - pneumonia, 2 AB’s. Hold taper july 5- 10.72 V July 6- 11 mg V- ugly bad july 11- 10.72 mg V, 4.3 lex, 25 mg toprol Link to comment
Scorpio Posted October 3, 2017 Share Posted October 3, 2017 Hi lg. It will be good times for both of us maybe not tomorrow but soon. Tomorrow it could be me crying again and you propping me up. I confess I do still have a small lager as it doesn’t seem to affect me. Have had it on terrible days and good days and it doesn’t seem to react. I tend to have a small bottle while dinner is cooking only the one too frightened to try two. I could drink wine until I stopped the lexapro in May and come beginning of July when w/d hit it then seemed to react but during all the waves while being on the horrible drug it never affected me. Maybe try a half a small one and see. Oh god I sound like an advocate for drink and fags but we have to get some enjoyment where we can. I expect to be fully told off by someone now! Good you have escaped the tinnitus mine started about two months after starting this drug and rang the psych to tell him and asked it could have anything to do with lexapro. - oh no he said wouldn’t do that - huh. And we think about going back to Doctors for help - no, no, no. There is nothing wrong with being a bum it’s probably your brain saying I need time out let me rest. Will you be ok with your husband out all night, at least he will be with you during the day and the evenings tend to be a bit better for me how about you. Yes, think about how you are going to spend his hard earned money when you are stronger you both deserve it. My husband keeps on about going away but can’t think about it yet. Have you tried the melatonin again to see if you have a reaction. Keep going, we are getting there. 2006 After sudden death of mother put on 20mg of citaloprom for depression. 2014 Drug stopped working after two weeks of panic attacks felt fine. Aug 2014. Doctor put me on lyrica for rash on face, diarrhoea, sleeplessness,muscle cramp, bruising. Initial dose too strong, halved dose. Stopped taking it 22/10/14 2014 severe anxiety after several ssri's attempted, seem to have developed severe sensitivity to any drug, but giving severe reactions put on cipralex drop form.started on 2 drops and had to increase by 1 drop every 3 days. Eventually got to 12 drops and had to stop as side effects every step of the way dreadful. Psychiatrist kept telling me to stick with it and my body would get used to it. Eventually down to 8 drops. Bad reactions throughout the time I was on it Have been on this until may 2017. Stopped over two weeks. Felt fine for 5 weeks after initial dizziness, nightmares, nausea, insomnia. Given diazepam by gp and told to take them when anxiety bad. Have only taken them very rarely as they frighten me. Last two weeks severe anxiety returned and feeling hopeless 11July 2017. Cipralex 2mg. Anxiety, nausea still severe 13 July 2017 Cipralex 1mg due to advice of too high dosage by kind person on thus site. so dropped from 2mg to 1mg and feelings of anxiety still at severe. As well as nausea, headaches, fatigue. 15 July still feeling extremely anxious verging on panic. Nausea, feelings of fainting, fatigue. Lots of head pains 3 August. Three weeks into trying to stabilise on one drop of cipralex. Still have waking from 4am. Sporadic upset stomach. Nausea. High anxiety. Throbbing/burning in nether regions seems to have eased for time being but stabbing/burning in calves of legs. Tinnitus. Occasional half to whole better days but mainly still struggling. Fatigue Link to comment
Littlegrandma Posted October 3, 2017 Author Share Posted October 3, 2017 I'll be fine by myself at night unless the house catches fire or someone breaks in. With Ativan and lunesta I'm dead to the world for a couple hours. When the kids spend the night Paul has to take charge of the baby monitor. Good excuse huh? Jonathan was up from 11:15 til 1:30 a couple weeks ago. He just wanted to play peekaboo with grandpa. Damn, I missed it all. How did you quit smoking? Just sheer will power? I know it's making the headaches worse and I'm coughing like 4 pack a day old man. I'll probably wait on the brew. I don't ever stop at one. But it's tempting. You sound better. Hope it's so! I've been reading too much on SA today. Being on a cocktail of drugs is scaring me. I know the lunesta and Ativan are affecting my memory. I want them gone. But I think it's going to be a long time before that happens. Been 5 weeks at this dose of lex. Wonder if I can bring it down a tad yet. Just thinking out loud. Really scared today Hope your day was pretty good. ❤️Lg Lex 4.3mg, 3/2/18 Ativan ,5 mg, lunesta 2 mg , toprol 25 mg Oct 16-28 2018 C/O to 19 mg V from 1.5 mg Ativan, 1.3 mg lunesta jan 22 2019- 11 mg V jan 23 - pneumonia, 2 AB’s. Hold taper july 5- 10.72 V July 6- 11 mg V- ugly bad july 11- 10.72 mg V, 4.3 lex, 25 mg toprol Link to comment
Scorpio Posted October 3, 2017 Share Posted October 3, 2017 Hi lg no dont cut anything yet we are both still so unstabilised that you would push yourself backwards and that us the last thing you want to do. I don’t read too much on here apart from speaking to you, js, bubble when I am in dire straits, pb, flowers and quest. I find a lot of it too frightening. Bub4ble suggested I read the threads on people who have recovered but I found them scary too as the ones I read went through very hard times before they got there. Ignorance is bliss sometimes. I have been 11 weeks on 1mg and still on a merry go round. But these two days show good times will come but I know I am nowhere near stable yet. You are on low doses on those drugs and with time will get lower but don’t rush it. Please don’t be scared I know it’s so frightening when having a bad day tomorrow could be a really good one for you. I just bought the vape, classic tobacco juice and stuck with it. I was fine but I am convinced that was the start of citaloprom pooping out three months later so I think it was a shock to my system. Try the vape when you want a cigarette and tell yourself you can have a real one next time and go from there. I still have a packet of cigarettes in a drawer and there are about five gone from the pack from when they were put there two and a three quarter years ago. I think my family are still in complete shock that I managed it. I loved smoking and enjoyed every one unfortunately. I have Jude tomorrow afternoon and have prepared pastry, chopped bacon, chopped vegetables ready to make lots of quiches and huge pot of bolognaise sauce. Half for us and half for Luisa fir the freezer. So please let me get up ok or I am in big trouble. 2006 After sudden death of mother put on 20mg of citaloprom for depression. 2014 Drug stopped working after two weeks of panic attacks felt fine. Aug 2014. Doctor put me on lyrica for rash on face, diarrhoea, sleeplessness,muscle cramp, bruising. Initial dose too strong, halved dose. Stopped taking it 22/10/14 2014 severe anxiety after several ssri's attempted, seem to have developed severe sensitivity to any drug, but giving severe reactions put on cipralex drop form.started on 2 drops and had to increase by 1 drop every 3 days. Eventually got to 12 drops and had to stop as side effects every step of the way dreadful. Psychiatrist kept telling me to stick with it and my body would get used to it. Eventually down to 8 drops. Bad reactions throughout the time I was on it Have been on this until may 2017. Stopped over two weeks. Felt fine for 5 weeks after initial dizziness, nightmares, nausea, insomnia. Given diazepam by gp and told to take them when anxiety bad. Have only taken them very rarely as they frighten me. Last two weeks severe anxiety returned and feeling hopeless 11July 2017. Cipralex 2mg. Anxiety, nausea still severe 13 July 2017 Cipralex 1mg due to advice of too high dosage by kind person on thus site. so dropped from 2mg to 1mg and feelings of anxiety still at severe. As well as nausea, headaches, fatigue. 15 July still feeling extremely anxious verging on panic. Nausea, feelings of fainting, fatigue. Lots of head pains 3 August. Three weeks into trying to stabilise on one drop of cipralex. Still have waking from 4am. Sporadic upset stomach. Nausea. High anxiety. Throbbing/burning in nether regions seems to have eased for time being but stabbing/burning in calves of legs. Tinnitus. Occasional half to whole better days but mainly still struggling. Fatigue Link to comment
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