Moderator Emeritus bubble Posted October 3, 2017 Moderator Emeritus Share Posted October 3, 2017 I like your attitude Scorpio Current: 9/2022 Xanax 0.08, Lexapro 2 2020 Xanax 0.26 (down from 2 mg in 2013), Lexapro 2.85 mg (down from 5 mg 2013) Amitriptyline (tricyclic AD) and clonazepam for 3 months to treat headache in 1996 1999. - present Xanax prn up to 3 mg. 2000-2005 Prozac CT twice, 2005-2010 Zoloft CT 3 times, 2010-2013 Escitalopram 10 mg went from 2.5 to zero on 7 Aug 2013, bad crash 40 days afterreinstated to 5 mg Escitalopram 4Oct 2013 and holding liquid Xanax every 5 hours 28 Jan 2014 Xanax 1.9, 18 Apr 2015 1 mg, 25 June 2015 Lex 4.8, 6 Aug Lexapro 4.6, 1 Jan 2016 0.64 Xanax 9 month hold 24 Sept 2016 4.5 Lex, 17 Oct 4.4 Lex (Nov 0.63 Xanax, Dec 0.625 Xanax), 1 Jan 2017 4.3 Lex, 24 Jan 4.2, 5 Feb 4.1, 24 Mar 4 mg, 10 Apr 3.9 mg, May 3.85, June 3.8, July 3.75, 22 July 3.7, 15 Aug 3.65, 17 Sept 3.6, 1 Jan 2018 3.55, 19 Jan 3.5, 16 Mar 3.4, 14 Apr 3.3, 23 May 3.2, 16 June 3.15, 15 Jul 3.1, 31 Jul 3, 21 Aug 2.9 26 Sept 2.85, 14 Nov Xan 0.61, 1 Dec 0.59, 19 Dec 0.58, 4 Jan 0.565, 6 Feb 0.55, 20 Feb 0.535, 1 Mar 0.505, 10 Mar 0.475, 14 Mar 0.45, 4 Apr 0.415, 13 Apr 0.37, 21 Apr 0.33, 29 Apr 0.29, 10 May 0.27, 17 May 0.25, 28 May 0.22, 19 June 0.22, 21 Jun updose to 0.24, 24 Jun updose to 0.26 Supplements: Omega 3 + Vit E, Vit C, D, magnesium, Taurine, probiotic I'm not a medical professional. Any advice I give is based on my own experience and reading. Link to comment
Scorpio Posted October 3, 2017 Share Posted October 3, 2017 11 minutes ago, bubble said: I like your attitude Scorpio Hi bubble thank you but tomorrow may be a different story and you can highlight my comments today to reassure me. Hope you are feeling better. Is your wave lessening for you. I hope so. 2006 After sudden death of mother put on 20mg of citaloprom for depression. 2014 Drug stopped working after two weeks of panic attacks felt fine. Aug 2014. Doctor put me on lyrica for rash on face, diarrhoea, sleeplessness,muscle cramp, bruising. Initial dose too strong, halved dose. Stopped taking it 22/10/14 2014 severe anxiety after several ssri's attempted, seem to have developed severe sensitivity to any drug, but giving severe reactions put on cipralex drop form.started on 2 drops and had to increase by 1 drop every 3 days. Eventually got to 12 drops and had to stop as side effects every step of the way dreadful. Psychiatrist kept telling me to stick with it and my body would get used to it. Eventually down to 8 drops. Bad reactions throughout the time I was on it Have been on this until may 2017. Stopped over two weeks. Felt fine for 5 weeks after initial dizziness, nightmares, nausea, insomnia. Given diazepam by gp and told to take them when anxiety bad. Have only taken them very rarely as they frighten me. Last two weeks severe anxiety returned and feeling hopeless 11July 2017. Cipralex 2mg. Anxiety, nausea still severe 13 July 2017 Cipralex 1mg due to advice of too high dosage by kind person on thus site. so dropped from 2mg to 1mg and feelings of anxiety still at severe. As well as nausea, headaches, fatigue. 15 July still feeling extremely anxious verging on panic. Nausea, feelings of fainting, fatigue. Lots of head pains 3 August. Three weeks into trying to stabilise on one drop of cipralex. Still have waking from 4am. Sporadic upset stomach. Nausea. High anxiety. Throbbing/burning in nether regions seems to have eased for time being but stabbing/burning in calves of legs. Tinnitus. Occasional half to whole better days but mainly still struggling. Fatigue Link to comment
Littlegrandma Posted October 4, 2017 Author Share Posted October 4, 2017 Hi bubble. Hope you're feeling better. Scorpio, you have been busy today. That is great. Back to back will be better. Have a great day with Jude Lex 4.3mg, 3/2/18 Ativan ,5 mg, lunesta 2 mg , toprol 25 mg Oct 16-28 2018 C/O to 19 mg V from 1.5 mg Ativan, 1.3 mg lunesta jan 22 2019- 11 mg V jan 23 - pneumonia, 2 AB’s. Hold taper july 5- 10.72 V July 6- 11 mg V- ugly bad july 11- 10.72 mg V, 4.3 lex, 25 mg toprol Link to comment
Scorpio Posted October 4, 2017 Share Posted October 4, 2017 Hi lg i am sure you are still tucked up hopefully fast asleep and today proves to be a better day for you. As expected I dived, awake at 5am, nausea, anxiety , grumbling stomach and tinnitus paying their boring visit. Managed to get up at 6.30 and now 11am I am in a sea of pastry and bolognaise sauce my kitchen looks like a bomb has hit it and have to keep going as Jude is being dropped off at lunchtime. I am so fed up with this w.d there is no rhyme or reason as to why we go up and down on a daily basis at the moment and the instability is criminal. My fingers are crossed that you wake up feeling a bit brighter and stronger I will wait with baited breath to hear. Big hugs 2006 After sudden death of mother put on 20mg of citaloprom for depression. 2014 Drug stopped working after two weeks of panic attacks felt fine. Aug 2014. Doctor put me on lyrica for rash on face, diarrhoea, sleeplessness,muscle cramp, bruising. Initial dose too strong, halved dose. Stopped taking it 22/10/14 2014 severe anxiety after several ssri's attempted, seem to have developed severe sensitivity to any drug, but giving severe reactions put on cipralex drop form.started on 2 drops and had to increase by 1 drop every 3 days. Eventually got to 12 drops and had to stop as side effects every step of the way dreadful. Psychiatrist kept telling me to stick with it and my body would get used to it. Eventually down to 8 drops. Bad reactions throughout the time I was on it Have been on this until may 2017. Stopped over two weeks. Felt fine for 5 weeks after initial dizziness, nightmares, nausea, insomnia. Given diazepam by gp and told to take them when anxiety bad. Have only taken them very rarely as they frighten me. Last two weeks severe anxiety returned and feeling hopeless 11July 2017. Cipralex 2mg. Anxiety, nausea still severe 13 July 2017 Cipralex 1mg due to advice of too high dosage by kind person on thus site. so dropped from 2mg to 1mg and feelings of anxiety still at severe. As well as nausea, headaches, fatigue. 15 July still feeling extremely anxious verging on panic. Nausea, feelings of fainting, fatigue. Lots of head pains 3 August. Three weeks into trying to stabilise on one drop of cipralex. Still have waking from 4am. Sporadic upset stomach. Nausea. High anxiety. Throbbing/burning in nether regions seems to have eased for time being but stabbing/burning in calves of legs. Tinnitus. Occasional half to whole better days but mainly still struggling. Fatigue Link to comment
Littlegrandma Posted October 4, 2017 Author Share Posted October 4, 2017 I'm sorry. I had high hopes that today would be even better for you. Do we do too much on the days we feel well? Which is pretty silly isn't it. Used to be able to do in 30 min which takes all day to do now. Woke with anxiety and trembling heart. I'm not going to hole up all day though. That makes my depression worse. When Paul got home from work yesterday, the tears started. Poor guy. Then Lauren and the kids stopped by and I could not shut down the water works. Had to hide from the kids. Try to be gentle on your back today. Hope the day gets easier on you. Hugs Lex 4.3mg, 3/2/18 Ativan ,5 mg, lunesta 2 mg , toprol 25 mg Oct 16-28 2018 C/O to 19 mg V from 1.5 mg Ativan, 1.3 mg lunesta jan 22 2019- 11 mg V jan 23 - pneumonia, 2 AB’s. Hold taper july 5- 10.72 V July 6- 11 mg V- ugly bad july 11- 10.72 mg V, 4.3 lex, 25 mg toprol Link to comment
Scorpio Posted October 4, 2017 Share Posted October 4, 2017 Hi lg good for you, trying to fight it can work, maybe it is the side effects lifting just a little to be able to think you can do something today. Paul and Lauren will cope with your tears the same as Tony and Luisa for me. Have just finished all the cooking and cleaned up but anxiety, bowels, nausea are horrible still and I am waiting now for the baby to arrive. Have the quiches in the freezer but the bolognaise is still cooling so will have to manage transferring that while Jude is here could be interesting. I hope your day gets easier too. Will speak later. 2006 After sudden death of mother put on 20mg of citaloprom for depression. 2014 Drug stopped working after two weeks of panic attacks felt fine. Aug 2014. Doctor put me on lyrica for rash on face, diarrhoea, sleeplessness,muscle cramp, bruising. Initial dose too strong, halved dose. Stopped taking it 22/10/14 2014 severe anxiety after several ssri's attempted, seem to have developed severe sensitivity to any drug, but giving severe reactions put on cipralex drop form.started on 2 drops and had to increase by 1 drop every 3 days. Eventually got to 12 drops and had to stop as side effects every step of the way dreadful. Psychiatrist kept telling me to stick with it and my body would get used to it. Eventually down to 8 drops. Bad reactions throughout the time I was on it Have been on this until may 2017. Stopped over two weeks. Felt fine for 5 weeks after initial dizziness, nightmares, nausea, insomnia. Given diazepam by gp and told to take them when anxiety bad. Have only taken them very rarely as they frighten me. Last two weeks severe anxiety returned and feeling hopeless 11July 2017. Cipralex 2mg. Anxiety, nausea still severe 13 July 2017 Cipralex 1mg due to advice of too high dosage by kind person on thus site. so dropped from 2mg to 1mg and feelings of anxiety still at severe. As well as nausea, headaches, fatigue. 15 July still feeling extremely anxious verging on panic. Nausea, feelings of fainting, fatigue. Lots of head pains 3 August. Three weeks into trying to stabilise on one drop of cipralex. Still have waking from 4am. Sporadic upset stomach. Nausea. High anxiety. Throbbing/burning in nether regions seems to have eased for time being but stabbing/burning in calves of legs. Tinnitus. Occasional half to whole better days but mainly still struggling. Fatigue Link to comment
Scorpio Posted October 4, 2017 Share Posted October 4, 2017 Hi lg nearly 8pm here and I coped with the day but just. How has your day been have you managed to get out and do anything or did you see your mum. I hope so. Completed cooking and all in freezer, 13 mini quiches and nine bolognaise ready to go. One trashed kitchen now back to normal. Jude arrived about 1.30 and was quite clingy so had to carry him around a lot - my poor back but I did it. He was lovely but needed entertaining the whole time. Finds crawling up the stairs fascinating and even more enthralling is all the bedrooms and bathrooms, showers he climbs into, baths the same. You have had the same experience so you know. Go,go go. He went about 5.30 but back tomorrow as Luisa didn’t get a lot of work done. I am keeping everything crossed I will be ok. My ears are raging, had horrible bowel cramping and anxiety very high. Please god it disappears tonight. As you have been elsewhere today I am keeping everything crossed that you are feeling better. Hugs 2006 After sudden death of mother put on 20mg of citaloprom for depression. 2014 Drug stopped working after two weeks of panic attacks felt fine. Aug 2014. Doctor put me on lyrica for rash on face, diarrhoea, sleeplessness,muscle cramp, bruising. Initial dose too strong, halved dose. Stopped taking it 22/10/14 2014 severe anxiety after several ssri's attempted, seem to have developed severe sensitivity to any drug, but giving severe reactions put on cipralex drop form.started on 2 drops and had to increase by 1 drop every 3 days. Eventually got to 12 drops and had to stop as side effects every step of the way dreadful. Psychiatrist kept telling me to stick with it and my body would get used to it. Eventually down to 8 drops. Bad reactions throughout the time I was on it Have been on this until may 2017. Stopped over two weeks. Felt fine for 5 weeks after initial dizziness, nightmares, nausea, insomnia. Given diazepam by gp and told to take them when anxiety bad. Have only taken them very rarely as they frighten me. Last two weeks severe anxiety returned and feeling hopeless 11July 2017. Cipralex 2mg. Anxiety, nausea still severe 13 July 2017 Cipralex 1mg due to advice of too high dosage by kind person on thus site. so dropped from 2mg to 1mg and feelings of anxiety still at severe. As well as nausea, headaches, fatigue. 15 July still feeling extremely anxious verging on panic. Nausea, feelings of fainting, fatigue. Lots of head pains 3 August. Three weeks into trying to stabilise on one drop of cipralex. Still have waking from 4am. Sporadic upset stomach. Nausea. High anxiety. Throbbing/burning in nether regions seems to have eased for time being but stabbing/burning in calves of legs. Tinnitus. Occasional half to whole better days but mainly still struggling. Fatigue Link to comment
Littlegrandma Posted October 4, 2017 Author Share Posted October 4, 2017 I was hoping you were going to have an easier day with Jude. That is the cutest age but the hardest for grandma. Those boys never stop. Hope you don't pay double tomorrow. I have a new and terrifying symptom. It feels like the left side of my brain is numb. And it is effecting my left eye. More than usual. Eye pressure and pain. Very blurry. After initial anxiety I felt a bit better. Washed the floors for the 1st time in ages. And then nausea, headache and this numbing. I am really scared. I went to Lauren's for lunch. Ate on the patio. It felt like the sun was burning through my eye and brain. And I was in the shade. Had to leave but was so afraid to drive. Nearly didn't stop in time to avoid a car at the light. Scorpio, I am really scared. Lg Lex 4.3mg, 3/2/18 Ativan ,5 mg, lunesta 2 mg , toprol 25 mg Oct 16-28 2018 C/O to 19 mg V from 1.5 mg Ativan, 1.3 mg lunesta jan 22 2019- 11 mg V jan 23 - pneumonia, 2 AB’s. Hold taper july 5- 10.72 V July 6- 11 mg V- ugly bad july 11- 10.72 mg V, 4.3 lex, 25 mg toprol Link to comment
Scorpio Posted October 4, 2017 Share Posted October 4, 2017 Hi lg oh no you poor thing. Have you asked the moderators, bubble, for advice and whether it is a known symptom. How scary for you and how on earth did you manage to drive. Lauren must have been so worried for you. It must be very painful, is it blurry in the one eye or both? I am so sorry you are going through another symptom when you had managed to cope with everything else this morning and wash the floors brilliant and then go out for lunch. It’s not another migraine is it with bad vision. Is anyone with you at home, is Paul back yet. Keep writing LG and let me know you have someone there. Huge hugs. 2006 After sudden death of mother put on 20mg of citaloprom for depression. 2014 Drug stopped working after two weeks of panic attacks felt fine. Aug 2014. Doctor put me on lyrica for rash on face, diarrhoea, sleeplessness,muscle cramp, bruising. Initial dose too strong, halved dose. Stopped taking it 22/10/14 2014 severe anxiety after several ssri's attempted, seem to have developed severe sensitivity to any drug, but giving severe reactions put on cipralex drop form.started on 2 drops and had to increase by 1 drop every 3 days. Eventually got to 12 drops and had to stop as side effects every step of the way dreadful. Psychiatrist kept telling me to stick with it and my body would get used to it. Eventually down to 8 drops. Bad reactions throughout the time I was on it Have been on this until may 2017. Stopped over two weeks. Felt fine for 5 weeks after initial dizziness, nightmares, nausea, insomnia. Given diazepam by gp and told to take them when anxiety bad. Have only taken them very rarely as they frighten me. Last two weeks severe anxiety returned and feeling hopeless 11July 2017. Cipralex 2mg. Anxiety, nausea still severe 13 July 2017 Cipralex 1mg due to advice of too high dosage by kind person on thus site. so dropped from 2mg to 1mg and feelings of anxiety still at severe. As well as nausea, headaches, fatigue. 15 July still feeling extremely anxious verging on panic. Nausea, feelings of fainting, fatigue. Lots of head pains 3 August. Three weeks into trying to stabilise on one drop of cipralex. Still have waking from 4am. Sporadic upset stomach. Nausea. High anxiety. Throbbing/burning in nether regions seems to have eased for time being but stabbing/burning in calves of legs. Tinnitus. Occasional half to whole better days but mainly still struggling. Fatigue Link to comment
Littlegrandma Posted October 4, 2017 Author Share Posted October 4, 2017 Thanks friend. Paul came home early after I called. I didn't know Madelyn saw me crying. I guess she's very upset. I am sick of this drug keeping us from living. I had a slight headache and nausea. Then in an instant my brain went numb. Just the left half. I'm used to the eye pressure and blurry but this was different. I was holding my eyelid open to see better when driving. This is crazy. What next? I really thought I was on the road to stabilizing. I was just starting to consider another drop. Effing brain drugs!! Do you really think we will recover? I just don't know anymore. Thanks for checking in on me. You should be sleeping by now. Hugs and more hugs. Lg Lex 4.3mg, 3/2/18 Ativan ,5 mg, lunesta 2 mg , toprol 25 mg Oct 16-28 2018 C/O to 19 mg V from 1.5 mg Ativan, 1.3 mg lunesta jan 22 2019- 11 mg V jan 23 - pneumonia, 2 AB’s. Hold taper july 5- 10.72 V July 6- 11 mg V- ugly bad july 11- 10.72 mg V, 4.3 lex, 25 mg toprol Link to comment
Scorpio Posted October 5, 2017 Share Posted October 5, 2017 Hi lg you poor thing how scary that must have been for you. Thank god you didn’t have an accident on the way home. If it is physical with your eye do you need to see a doctor. What about the moderators have you spoken to them as they might have heard of this happening to others You are on the road to stabilising don’t give up hope I know it is so hard when these horrible things happen and we lose confidence and hope. Yesterday afternoon when the Bowel cramping started I cried with the pain but also because I git that hopeless feeling again. I slept with the help of melatonin last night until the alarm but didn’t want to get up again and only did as I have to look after Jude today. But nausea and anxiety back with a vengeance. Up and down like yo-yos aren’t we. How is the eye, headaches now are you feeling better, I truly hope so, keep going LG it is going to get better. Your brain is readjusting and it takes time but yes, yes, yes we will both get there it is just the trauma getting there that is so hard but we are superwomen and we will do it. 2006 After sudden death of mother put on 20mg of citaloprom for depression. 2014 Drug stopped working after two weeks of panic attacks felt fine. Aug 2014. Doctor put me on lyrica for rash on face, diarrhoea, sleeplessness,muscle cramp, bruising. Initial dose too strong, halved dose. Stopped taking it 22/10/14 2014 severe anxiety after several ssri's attempted, seem to have developed severe sensitivity to any drug, but giving severe reactions put on cipralex drop form.started on 2 drops and had to increase by 1 drop every 3 days. Eventually got to 12 drops and had to stop as side effects every step of the way dreadful. Psychiatrist kept telling me to stick with it and my body would get used to it. Eventually down to 8 drops. Bad reactions throughout the time I was on it Have been on this until may 2017. Stopped over two weeks. Felt fine for 5 weeks after initial dizziness, nightmares, nausea, insomnia. Given diazepam by gp and told to take them when anxiety bad. Have only taken them very rarely as they frighten me. Last two weeks severe anxiety returned and feeling hopeless 11July 2017. Cipralex 2mg. Anxiety, nausea still severe 13 July 2017 Cipralex 1mg due to advice of too high dosage by kind person on thus site. so dropped from 2mg to 1mg and feelings of anxiety still at severe. As well as nausea, headaches, fatigue. 15 July still feeling extremely anxious verging on panic. Nausea, feelings of fainting, fatigue. Lots of head pains 3 August. Three weeks into trying to stabilise on one drop of cipralex. Still have waking from 4am. Sporadic upset stomach. Nausea. High anxiety. Throbbing/burning in nether regions seems to have eased for time being but stabbing/burning in calves of legs. Tinnitus. Occasional half to whole better days but mainly still struggling. Fatigue Link to comment
Littlegrandma Posted October 5, 2017 Author Share Posted October 5, 2017 Hi everyone im going to try and give my history to the best of my memory. I am thinking at this time I may be someone who needs ad meds for life. Two pdocs at Mayo Clinic think so. A pdoc here at home and also my GP. When I was 10 yrs old I was sexually molested by a neighbor for a year. I never told my parents as I was threatened. So I never got any counseling or dealt with it. I started smoking that year and started drinking and smoking pot at a very young age....self medicating. My self esteem, of course, was at rock bottom but I did well in school and had many friends. I always had liquid courage. Fast forward.... got married at 24 and had first baby shortly after. Continued partying. After 2nd baby, I got post partum depression. Started suffering panic attacks, anxiety, seizures, migraines, nausea, body aches. Started on xanax for a year or 2. Went to rehab to be taken off. Anxiety returned as well as insomnia. I suffered much and had a tough time raising my young children. My GP at the time put me on this new medicine, Zoloft, to treat the insomnia. I had no start up side effects. Just noticed that within a few weeks I was sleeping. My OCD was suddenly gone. I had no anxiety. My head was clear. I had a great life. I was super Mom. I drank nothing the whole time on Zoloft and quit smoking. I had tons of friends. Threw many parties. Went to the gym. Jogged. Took care of my parents, brothers, nieces, nephews, and friends. My neighbors came to me for advice or help. It was that house in the neighborhood where everyone hung out. After 12 or 14 years on Zoloft, I unfortunately took myself off. I started drinking again and soon smoking. That was about 10 or 12 years ago now. The anxiety crept back in. The body aches, especially in the gut. Nausea. My legs were like rubber and had trouble walking. I was constantly running to my GP. Had all the tests. Everything was negative. I went to IOP 2 years ago. I took lexapro against my better judgement. It was never a good fit for me. I was brain dead for 2 years. Completely apathetic. No joy whatsoever. But the anxiety was at bay. Brings me to now. Started my taper just over 4 months ago. I, like most of you have suffered horrible side effects. I swore I would never take another AD med, but now I'm not sure. I'm thinking I may be one of those people that do need it. I have wasted too many months now waiting to stabilize on 5 mg of lexapro. Maybe I will not stabilize. Maybe I need an ssri. Maybe I am suffering because I need a "therapeutic " dose of something. With the exception of a couple days of windows, I feel like hell and seem to get worse daily. Even in my windows, I still suffered nausea and anxiety, and other symptoms. Just to a milder degree. I have not had relief from the fog. The dp & dr seem to get worse everyday. I am looking for opinions, advice, support. What are your thoughts? Thanks. Lg Lex 4.3mg, 3/2/18 Ativan ,5 mg, lunesta 2 mg , toprol 25 mg Oct 16-28 2018 C/O to 19 mg V from 1.5 mg Ativan, 1.3 mg lunesta jan 22 2019- 11 mg V jan 23 - pneumonia, 2 AB’s. Hold taper july 5- 10.72 V July 6- 11 mg V- ugly bad july 11- 10.72 mg V, 4.3 lex, 25 mg toprol Link to comment
Littlegrandma Posted October 5, 2017 Author Share Posted October 5, 2017 4 hours ago, Scorpio said: Hi lg you poor thing how scary that must have been for you. Thank god you didn’t have an accident on the way home. If it is physical with your eye do you need to see a doctor. What about the moderators have you spoken to them as they might have heard of this happening to others You are on the road to stabilising don’t give up hope I know it is so hard when these horrible things happen and we lose confidence and hope. Yesterday afternoon when the Bowel cramping started I cried with the pain but also because I git that hopeless feeling again. I slept with the help of melatonin last night until the alarm but didn’t want to get up again and only did as I have to look after Jude today. But nausea and anxiety back with a vengeance. Up and down like yo-yos aren’t we. How is the eye, headaches now are you feeling better, I truly hope so, keep going LG it is going to get better. Your brain is readjusting and it takes time but yes, yes, yes we will both get there it is just the trauma getting there that is so hard but we are superwomen and we will do it. Good morning. Feeling hopeless and helpless today. Eye is still bothering me. I had eyes checked a few weeks ago. All is good except for extremely dry. As is my skin. I drink soooo much water. Doesn't seem possible. Also, my hair is shedding like crazy. It is noticeable thinner. This just gets worse and worse. I hope your day with Jude goes well. You've got your freezer packed with food. Maybe you 2 can just relax, if he ever does. Is he a good napper? If the weather is decent, maybe you can put him in the stroller and take a gentle walk. I have a message out for anybody. Hopefully mods will see it. Tell me what you think. Very tired but full of anxiety. Going to try and relax. Lg Lex 4.3mg, 3/2/18 Ativan ,5 mg, lunesta 2 mg , toprol 25 mg Oct 16-28 2018 C/O to 19 mg V from 1.5 mg Ativan, 1.3 mg lunesta jan 22 2019- 11 mg V jan 23 - pneumonia, 2 AB’s. Hold taper july 5- 10.72 V July 6- 11 mg V- ugly bad july 11- 10.72 mg V, 4.3 lex, 25 mg toprol Link to comment
kangamangus Posted October 5, 2017 Share Posted October 5, 2017 2 hours ago, Littlegrandma said: Hi everyone im going to try and give my history to the best of my memory. I am thinking at this time I may be someone who needs ad meds for life. Two pdocs at Mayo Clinic think so. A pdoc here at home and also my GP. When I was 10 yrs old I was sexually molested by a neighbor for a year. I never told my parents as I was threatened. So I never got any counseling or dealt with it. I started smoking that year and started drinking and smoking pot at a very young age....self medicating. My self esteem, of course, was at rock bottom but I did well in school and had many friends. I always had liquid courage. Fast forward.... got married at 24 and had first baby shortly after. Continued partying. After 2nd baby, I got post partum depression. Started suffering panic attacks, anxiety, seizures, migraines, nausea, body aches. Started on xanax for a year or 2. Went to rehab to be taken off. Anxiety returned as well as insomnia. I suffered much and had a tough time raising my young children. My GP at the time put me on this new medicine, Zoloft, to treat the insomnia. I had no start up side effects. Just noticed that within a few weeks I was sleeping. My OCD was suddenly gone. I had no anxiety. My head was clear. I had a great life. I was super Mom. I drank nothing the whole time on Zoloft and quit smoking. I had tons of friends. Threw many parties. Went to the gym. Jogged. Took care of my parents, brothers, nieces, nephews, and friends. My neighbors came to me for advice or help. It was that house in the neighborhood where everyone hung out. After 12 or 14 years on Zoloft, I unfortunately took myself off. I started drinking again and soon smoking. That was about 10 or 12 years ago now. The anxiety crept back in. The body aches, especially in the gut. Nausea. My legs were like rubber and had trouble walking. I was constantly running to my GP. Had all the tests. Everything was negative. I went to IOP 2 years ago. I took lexapro against my better judgement. It was never a good fit for me. I was brain dead for 2 years. Completely apathetic. No joy whatsoever. But the anxiety was at bay. Brings me to now. Started my taper just over 4 months ago. I, like most of you have suffered horrible side effects. I swore I would never take another AD med, but now I'm not sure. I'm thinking I may be one of those people that do need it. I have wasted too many months now waiting to stabilize on 5 mg of lexapro. Maybe I will not stabilize. Maybe I need an ssri. Maybe I am suffering because I need a "therapeutic " dose of something. With the exception of a couple days of windows, I feel like hell and seem to get worse daily. Even in my windows, I still suffered nausea and anxiety, and other symptoms. Just to a milder degree. I have not had relief from the fog. The dp & dr seem to get worse everyday. I am looking for opinions, advice, support. What are your thoughts? Thanks. Lg Hey LG sorry to hear you are suffering so much. I think it really comes down to a personal decision. I know I have certainly felt like you do, that I needed some med to live my life. I don't know if that is true, all I know is that you have to do what you think is best for you. If that is the decision you make, I don't think that anyone will judge you for it. We are all just trying to live the best lives that we can with what is given to us. Whatever you decide, you have my full support and understanding. Wish I could give more helpful advice, but you know your own life and story best and nobody else can make that decision for you Drug History: Zoloft(sertraline) since 2008. Was up to 100mg/daily before CT in May 2017. Reinstated 3 weeks later at 50mg. September 10, 2017 Updose Zoloft to 62.5mg Current dose as of 5/11/2018 50mg Zoloft and 0mg Remeron Remeron(mirtazapine) started June 2017. Accidental CT after 1 month. Reinstated 7.5mg on 9/26/17 after hospital stay. Current Symptoms: Depression, Anxiety, DP/DR, Anhedonia, SI, Tinnitus, Fatigue Link to comment
Littlegrandma Posted October 5, 2017 Author Share Posted October 5, 2017 30 minutes ago, kangamangus said: Hey LG sorry to hear you are suffering so much. I think it really comes down to a personal decision. I know I have certainly felt like you do, that I needed some med to live my life. I don't know if that is true, all I know is that you have to do what you think is best for you. If that is the decision you make, I don't think that anyone will judge you for it. We are all just trying to live the best lives that we can with what is given to us. Whatever you decide, you have my full support and understanding. Wish I could give more helpful advice, but you know your own life and story best and nobody else can make that decision for you Thanks Kang i understand that I'm the only one that can make that decision. I'm just so afraid to start another drug cuz of the startup symptoms. But like my brother said, you can't feel any worse. Or can I? That's what I'm afraid of. So many questions. Taper lex down to zero? Add another ssri since I'm down to 5 mg? I certainly don't want to go through more months or years of the way I feel now. I'm doubting that it's w/d. More the fact that I need an AD. The reason I feel that way..... when I suffered from postpartum, I had these exact symptoms. The migraine, nausea, anxiety, body ache, depression and would have rather died than suffer that way. That history has me thinking that this brain just needs a med. I'm not looking for permission, but insight from others who have been through this. I'm not sure adding another med could make me feel any worse. I sure can't live like this anymore. Kang thanks for your time. I appreciate it much and value your opinion. Lg Lex 4.3mg, 3/2/18 Ativan ,5 mg, lunesta 2 mg , toprol 25 mg Oct 16-28 2018 C/O to 19 mg V from 1.5 mg Ativan, 1.3 mg lunesta jan 22 2019- 11 mg V jan 23 - pneumonia, 2 AB’s. Hold taper july 5- 10.72 V July 6- 11 mg V- ugly bad july 11- 10.72 mg V, 4.3 lex, 25 mg toprol Link to comment
kangamangus Posted October 5, 2017 Share Posted October 5, 2017 11 minutes ago, Littlegrandma said: Thanks Kang i understand that I'm the only one that can make that decision. I'm just so afraid to start another drug cuz of the startup symptoms. But like my brother said, you can't feel any worse. Or can I? That's what I'm afraid of. So many questions. Taper lex down to zero? Add another ssri since I'm down to 5 mg? I certainly don't want to go through more months or years of the way I feel now. I'm doubting that it's w/d. More the fact that I need an AD. The reason I feel that way..... when I suffered from postpartum, I had these exact symptoms. The migraine, nausea, anxiety, body ache, depression and would have rather died than suffer that way. That history has me thinking that this brain just needs a med. I'm not looking for permission, but insight from others who have been through this. I'm not sure adding another med could make me feel any worse. I sure can't live like this anymore. Kang thanks for your time. I appreciate it much and value your opinion. Lg I totally get the fear to start a new drug, there just no way of knowing what is going to happen. I have also had people tell me "well you can't feel worse" which is stupid because I have read many stories of people on here who have had it much worse than me. You really have to weigh the pros and cons. Especially if you feel like this is more symptoms of your original problem rather than WD(it's probably both). My insight is that adding another medication has worked out for me (I think). Am I still depressed?? Yes absolutely. It is much more manageable though. I am still dealing with many WD symptoms (twitching, dp/dr, morning cortisol, etc....) but I don't feel as hopeless. I feel like I can handle it and move forward with my life. I was lucky enough to find a doctor who listened to me and decided to try a medication I had tolerated before, as well as deciding not to pull me off of the Zoloft because she was worried it might cause me more damage. I realize how rare that is, and I really hope that you can find a sympathetic doctor as well to help you with this. Since you did well with Zoloft in the past, maybe you can try that again?? It's better to go with the devil you know rather than the devil you don't. Just do it very slowly and cautiously regardless of what your doctor thinks. If you can take anything from this WD experience its caution when trying these drugs as they are so powerful. Your doctor will probably encourage a fast change but it's your body and brain and ultimately its your decision for how you want to approach it. I wish you the best of luck and I hope that you feel better soon. I am always here if you need support or advice Drug History: Zoloft(sertraline) since 2008. Was up to 100mg/daily before CT in May 2017. Reinstated 3 weeks later at 50mg. September 10, 2017 Updose Zoloft to 62.5mg Current dose as of 5/11/2018 50mg Zoloft and 0mg Remeron Remeron(mirtazapine) started June 2017. Accidental CT after 1 month. Reinstated 7.5mg on 9/26/17 after hospital stay. Current Symptoms: Depression, Anxiety, DP/DR, Anhedonia, SI, Tinnitus, Fatigue Link to comment
Moderator Emeritus bubble Posted October 5, 2017 Moderator Emeritus Share Posted October 5, 2017 My two cents: as K. wrote, it is your decision and unfortunately it can always get worse. I remember two members (both on Lexapro) who reinstated, suffered badly then changed the drug and felt better (at least while they kept in touch). I would say I saw more people who felt worse. That's why we recommend trying to stabilise on the existing drug. Another unfortunate thing is that past performance is not an indicator of future outcome. That means you can go on and off and add and change drugs and be ok for a few time but eventually the same drug that used to bring you relief will cause you to suffer. Especially in your situation with more drugs involved. Essentially our problem is one of destabilisation and not a particular dose or drug. It's good that you are exploring options and gathering information in preparation of your decision. Current: 9/2022 Xanax 0.08, Lexapro 2 2020 Xanax 0.26 (down from 2 mg in 2013), Lexapro 2.85 mg (down from 5 mg 2013) Amitriptyline (tricyclic AD) and clonazepam for 3 months to treat headache in 1996 1999. - present Xanax prn up to 3 mg. 2000-2005 Prozac CT twice, 2005-2010 Zoloft CT 3 times, 2010-2013 Escitalopram 10 mg went from 2.5 to zero on 7 Aug 2013, bad crash 40 days afterreinstated to 5 mg Escitalopram 4Oct 2013 and holding liquid Xanax every 5 hours 28 Jan 2014 Xanax 1.9, 18 Apr 2015 1 mg, 25 June 2015 Lex 4.8, 6 Aug Lexapro 4.6, 1 Jan 2016 0.64 Xanax 9 month hold 24 Sept 2016 4.5 Lex, 17 Oct 4.4 Lex (Nov 0.63 Xanax, Dec 0.625 Xanax), 1 Jan 2017 4.3 Lex, 24 Jan 4.2, 5 Feb 4.1, 24 Mar 4 mg, 10 Apr 3.9 mg, May 3.85, June 3.8, July 3.75, 22 July 3.7, 15 Aug 3.65, 17 Sept 3.6, 1 Jan 2018 3.55, 19 Jan 3.5, 16 Mar 3.4, 14 Apr 3.3, 23 May 3.2, 16 June 3.15, 15 Jul 3.1, 31 Jul 3, 21 Aug 2.9 26 Sept 2.85, 14 Nov Xan 0.61, 1 Dec 0.59, 19 Dec 0.58, 4 Jan 0.565, 6 Feb 0.55, 20 Feb 0.535, 1 Mar 0.505, 10 Mar 0.475, 14 Mar 0.45, 4 Apr 0.415, 13 Apr 0.37, 21 Apr 0.33, 29 Apr 0.29, 10 May 0.27, 17 May 0.25, 28 May 0.22, 19 June 0.22, 21 Jun updose to 0.24, 24 Jun updose to 0.26 Supplements: Omega 3 + Vit E, Vit C, D, magnesium, Taurine, probiotic I'm not a medical professional. Any advice I give is based on my own experience and reading. Link to comment
Littlegrandma Posted October 5, 2017 Author Share Posted October 5, 2017 6 minutes ago, bubble said: My two cents: as K. wrote, it is your decision and unfortunately it can always get worse. I remember two members (both on Lexapro) who reinstated, suffered badly then changed the drug and felt better (at least while they kept in touch). I would say I saw more people who felt worse. That's why we recommend trying to stabilise on the existing drug. Another unfortunate thing is that past performance is not an indicator of future outcome. That means you can go on and off and add and change drugs and be ok for a few time but eventually the same drug that used to bring you relief will cause you to suffer. Especially in your situation with more drugs involved. Essentially our problem is one of destabilisation and not a particular dose or drug. It's good that you are exploring options and gathering information in preparation of your decision. Thanks Bubble. I'm so confused right now. Maybe things could get worse, but at this point I don't really see how. I am at the point of not wanting to live anymore. And I have so much to live for. The physical symptoms were eating me alive, now the depression is unbearable. And the nausea and headaches get worse everyday. Yesterday the left side of my brain went numb. And it affected my eyesight. Now I am beyond scared. And so tired of all of this. Lg Lex 4.3mg, 3/2/18 Ativan ,5 mg, lunesta 2 mg , toprol 25 mg Oct 16-28 2018 C/O to 19 mg V from 1.5 mg Ativan, 1.3 mg lunesta jan 22 2019- 11 mg V jan 23 - pneumonia, 2 AB’s. Hold taper july 5- 10.72 V July 6- 11 mg V- ugly bad july 11- 10.72 mg V, 4.3 lex, 25 mg toprol Link to comment
Moderator Emeritus bubble Posted October 5, 2017 Moderator Emeritus Share Posted October 5, 2017 Worse is when people get bed ridden, can't sleep, can't eat, take a shower, are suicidal... In acute withdrawal the pattern is that physical symptoms are replaced by depression. Depression means the brain has closed for repairs. How long have you been on the same dose? Did you have any periods, however brief, when you felt better, even slightly? Not good but better. Give yourself a few days to see what happens with those symptoms. Try not to be scared. You are safe and things will get better. Current: 9/2022 Xanax 0.08, Lexapro 2 2020 Xanax 0.26 (down from 2 mg in 2013), Lexapro 2.85 mg (down from 5 mg 2013) Amitriptyline (tricyclic AD) and clonazepam for 3 months to treat headache in 1996 1999. - present Xanax prn up to 3 mg. 2000-2005 Prozac CT twice, 2005-2010 Zoloft CT 3 times, 2010-2013 Escitalopram 10 mg went from 2.5 to zero on 7 Aug 2013, bad crash 40 days afterreinstated to 5 mg Escitalopram 4Oct 2013 and holding liquid Xanax every 5 hours 28 Jan 2014 Xanax 1.9, 18 Apr 2015 1 mg, 25 June 2015 Lex 4.8, 6 Aug Lexapro 4.6, 1 Jan 2016 0.64 Xanax 9 month hold 24 Sept 2016 4.5 Lex, 17 Oct 4.4 Lex (Nov 0.63 Xanax, Dec 0.625 Xanax), 1 Jan 2017 4.3 Lex, 24 Jan 4.2, 5 Feb 4.1, 24 Mar 4 mg, 10 Apr 3.9 mg, May 3.85, June 3.8, July 3.75, 22 July 3.7, 15 Aug 3.65, 17 Sept 3.6, 1 Jan 2018 3.55, 19 Jan 3.5, 16 Mar 3.4, 14 Apr 3.3, 23 May 3.2, 16 June 3.15, 15 Jul 3.1, 31 Jul 3, 21 Aug 2.9 26 Sept 2.85, 14 Nov Xan 0.61, 1 Dec 0.59, 19 Dec 0.58, 4 Jan 0.565, 6 Feb 0.55, 20 Feb 0.535, 1 Mar 0.505, 10 Mar 0.475, 14 Mar 0.45, 4 Apr 0.415, 13 Apr 0.37, 21 Apr 0.33, 29 Apr 0.29, 10 May 0.27, 17 May 0.25, 28 May 0.22, 19 June 0.22, 21 Jun updose to 0.24, 24 Jun updose to 0.26 Supplements: Omega 3 + Vit E, Vit C, D, magnesium, Taurine, probiotic I'm not a medical professional. Any advice I give is based on my own experience and reading. Link to comment
Littlegrandma Posted October 5, 2017 Author Share Posted October 5, 2017 58 minutes ago, Littlegrandma said: Thanks Bubble. I'm so confused right now. Maybe things could get worse, but at this point I don't really see how. I am at the point of not wanting to live anymore. And I have so much to live for. The physical symptoms were eating me alive, now the depression is unbearable. And the nausea and headaches get worse everyday. Yesterday the left side of my brain went numb. And it affected my eyesight. Now I am beyond scared. And so tired of all of this. Lg PS 3 pdocs and my therapist think I should start tapering by 10% now. I know I'm not stable, but what if it's the lex making me unstable? i never felt well on it the 2 years I was on it. Do I take a chance and wait months or years in this hell and maybe not stabilize? Maybe it's a combo of all the drugs and I should start ridding my brain of one of them. I'm not doing anything today. That's why I'm putting this out there. I want opinions of others. But I'm sure getting desperate. Maybe people suffer so long thinking it's w/d when it's really the illness returning. My headaches are unbearable and my brain feels like mush. Maybe it's drug overload. Thanks again Lex 4.3mg, 3/2/18 Ativan ,5 mg, lunesta 2 mg , toprol 25 mg Oct 16-28 2018 C/O to 19 mg V from 1.5 mg Ativan, 1.3 mg lunesta jan 22 2019- 11 mg V jan 23 - pneumonia, 2 AB’s. Hold taper july 5- 10.72 V July 6- 11 mg V- ugly bad july 11- 10.72 mg V, 4.3 lex, 25 mg toprol Link to comment
Littlegrandma Posted October 5, 2017 Author Share Posted October 5, 2017 (edited) 3 minutes ago, bubble said: Worse is when people get bed ridden, can't sleep, can't eat, take a shower, are suicidal... In acute withdrawal the pattern is that physical symptoms are replaced by depression. Depression means the brain has closed for repairs. How long have you been on the same dose? Did you have any periods, however brief, when you felt better, even slightly? Not good but better. Give yourself a few days to see what happens with those symptoms. Try not to be scared. You are safe and things will get better. I have been in bed or on couch most of the last 5 wks. I haven't showered or eaten yet today. I have lost 20 lbs and my hair has fallen out by probably 25%. During my windows, the headache is less or the anxiety is less. I have never been free of physical symptoms. The windows have not been more than a couple hours. I take care of My grandkids a few days a week but usually have help from other family. I do get outside most days. If for nothing else, just to sit in the sun or walk in yard. I've been so patient for over 4 months now. I'm usually tougher than this, but it's really getting to me now. Oh, I've been on 5 mg for 5 wks now. I appreciate your time. I know you're going through a rough time yourself. And I hope you're feeling some relief. Lg Edited October 5, 2017 by Littlegrandma Didn't know I did Lex 4.3mg, 3/2/18 Ativan ,5 mg, lunesta 2 mg , toprol 25 mg Oct 16-28 2018 C/O to 19 mg V from 1.5 mg Ativan, 1.3 mg lunesta jan 22 2019- 11 mg V jan 23 - pneumonia, 2 AB’s. Hold taper july 5- 10.72 V July 6- 11 mg V- ugly bad july 11- 10.72 mg V, 4.3 lex, 25 mg toprol Link to comment
Scorpio Posted October 5, 2017 Share Posted October 5, 2017 4 hours ago, Littlegrandma said: Good morning. Feeling hopeless and helpless today. Eye is still bothering me. I had eyes checked a few weeks ago. All is good except for extremely dry. As is my skin. I drink soooo much water. Doesn't seem possible. Also, my hair is shedding like crazy. It is noticeable thinner. This just gets worse and worse. I hope your day with Jude goes well. You've got your freezer packed with food. Maybe you 2 can just relax, if he ever does. Is he a good napper? If the weather is decent, maybe you can put him in the stroller and take a gentle walk. I have a message out for anybody. Hopefully mods will see it. Tell me what you think. Very tired but full of anxiety. Going to try and relax. Lg Hi lg im so so sorry you are suffering this nightmare with no relief. I have only just been able to get back on the computer as had Jude from 10 until 6 and then dinner. Have read your thread and seen the other comments members have written during the day. It is all so confusing isn’t it. We feel like death with these symptoms and trying to determine whether it is the drug, withdrawal from drug or needing more of a drug is a complete conundrum. I have been 11 weeks on 1mg of lexapro now having cold turkeyed from 8mg. You know how much I have gone up for a little while and then plummeting down. Like you the whole time on lexapro was hell, window didn’t happen until 5 months and then for a day or two. Holidays ruined as I would be in a complete panicked state fir two or three days, unable to eat, leave the room or hardly speak to anybody. I could only get to 12mgs should have got to 20mg because of the unbearable side effects. I had the inner restlessness that had me pacing the room day and night. It was hell. I just worry if you change to another drug there is no guarantee it will work well for you. Lexapro was hard for you to right from the beginning. It could be that we are just too sensitive for any ssri’s. Has anyone suggested lowering the lexapro slightly to see if there is any difference. I am not advising you to do that just asking if anyone has suggested it. I am not well enough informed to advise on medication. I had never heard of windows and waves until I found this site. I have read on here that losing hair happens to quite a few people the same as losing weight - we both have that one. My weight dropped when I was first put on this poison and could never get it on again now have lost more. You went through hell didn’t you as a child and then again after the birth of your baby, my heart goes out to you LG and you deserve much better times. I wish I could be there for you. Is Paul, Lauren or your mum with you to care for you. Remember depression part if this horrible process makes us feel so helpless and hopeless but it did go for you a couple of times last eeek when I was in the thick of complete despair. How is your head and eyes now, any easier, I hope so. Keep writing, huge hugs. 2006 After sudden death of mother put on 20mg of citaloprom for depression. 2014 Drug stopped working after two weeks of panic attacks felt fine. Aug 2014. Doctor put me on lyrica for rash on face, diarrhoea, sleeplessness,muscle cramp, bruising. Initial dose too strong, halved dose. Stopped taking it 22/10/14 2014 severe anxiety after several ssri's attempted, seem to have developed severe sensitivity to any drug, but giving severe reactions put on cipralex drop form.started on 2 drops and had to increase by 1 drop every 3 days. Eventually got to 12 drops and had to stop as side effects every step of the way dreadful. Psychiatrist kept telling me to stick with it and my body would get used to it. Eventually down to 8 drops. Bad reactions throughout the time I was on it Have been on this until may 2017. Stopped over two weeks. Felt fine for 5 weeks after initial dizziness, nightmares, nausea, insomnia. Given diazepam by gp and told to take them when anxiety bad. Have only taken them very rarely as they frighten me. Last two weeks severe anxiety returned and feeling hopeless 11July 2017. Cipralex 2mg. Anxiety, nausea still severe 13 July 2017 Cipralex 1mg due to advice of too high dosage by kind person on thus site. so dropped from 2mg to 1mg and feelings of anxiety still at severe. As well as nausea, headaches, fatigue. 15 July still feeling extremely anxious verging on panic. Nausea, feelings of fainting, fatigue. Lots of head pains 3 August. Three weeks into trying to stabilise on one drop of cipralex. Still have waking from 4am. Sporadic upset stomach. Nausea. High anxiety. Throbbing/burning in nether regions seems to have eased for time being but stabbing/burning in calves of legs. Tinnitus. Occasional half to whole better days but mainly still struggling. Fatigue Link to comment
Moderator Emeritus bubble Posted October 5, 2017 Moderator Emeritus Share Posted October 5, 2017 As bad as it seems, it can get much worse. Spending lots of time in bed and on the couch is not the same as bed ridden and not being able to walk or just pacing around in the horror of akathisia. Worse means having no windows and no relief at all and instead things going from bad to worse. And not being able to even look at your grandson... How is your sleep? It would be really helpful to have a fuller drug history in your signature: a very brief mention of the drugs you were on throughout years together with years if you remember them approximately. When did you stop start and dates when you settled with this particular combination. Your drug history might explain a lot f what you are going through now. Again, 5 weeks is not such a long time. What happened before that? If you cold turkeyed or reduced rapidly it would be no wonder that you are struggling so badly. Still I think you are actually doing well! Current: 9/2022 Xanax 0.08, Lexapro 2 2020 Xanax 0.26 (down from 2 mg in 2013), Lexapro 2.85 mg (down from 5 mg 2013) Amitriptyline (tricyclic AD) and clonazepam for 3 months to treat headache in 1996 1999. - present Xanax prn up to 3 mg. 2000-2005 Prozac CT twice, 2005-2010 Zoloft CT 3 times, 2010-2013 Escitalopram 10 mg went from 2.5 to zero on 7 Aug 2013, bad crash 40 days afterreinstated to 5 mg Escitalopram 4Oct 2013 and holding liquid Xanax every 5 hours 28 Jan 2014 Xanax 1.9, 18 Apr 2015 1 mg, 25 June 2015 Lex 4.8, 6 Aug Lexapro 4.6, 1 Jan 2016 0.64 Xanax 9 month hold 24 Sept 2016 4.5 Lex, 17 Oct 4.4 Lex (Nov 0.63 Xanax, Dec 0.625 Xanax), 1 Jan 2017 4.3 Lex, 24 Jan 4.2, 5 Feb 4.1, 24 Mar 4 mg, 10 Apr 3.9 mg, May 3.85, June 3.8, July 3.75, 22 July 3.7, 15 Aug 3.65, 17 Sept 3.6, 1 Jan 2018 3.55, 19 Jan 3.5, 16 Mar 3.4, 14 Apr 3.3, 23 May 3.2, 16 June 3.15, 15 Jul 3.1, 31 Jul 3, 21 Aug 2.9 26 Sept 2.85, 14 Nov Xan 0.61, 1 Dec 0.59, 19 Dec 0.58, 4 Jan 0.565, 6 Feb 0.55, 20 Feb 0.535, 1 Mar 0.505, 10 Mar 0.475, 14 Mar 0.45, 4 Apr 0.415, 13 Apr 0.37, 21 Apr 0.33, 29 Apr 0.29, 10 May 0.27, 17 May 0.25, 28 May 0.22, 19 June 0.22, 21 Jun updose to 0.24, 24 Jun updose to 0.26 Supplements: Omega 3 + Vit E, Vit C, D, magnesium, Taurine, probiotic I'm not a medical professional. Any advice I give is based on my own experience and reading. Link to comment
Moderator Emeritus bubble Posted October 5, 2017 Moderator Emeritus Share Posted October 5, 2017 Was just reading through your thread from the beginning... We really need all of that in your signature. Even the Xanax abuse 30 years ago. Also when you came here you wrote about some 0.75 mg Xanax per day and after a while just didn't mention it at all. You might be going through Xanax withdrawal also (which might be only partly masked by Ativan)... Current: 9/2022 Xanax 0.08, Lexapro 2 2020 Xanax 0.26 (down from 2 mg in 2013), Lexapro 2.85 mg (down from 5 mg 2013) Amitriptyline (tricyclic AD) and clonazepam for 3 months to treat headache in 1996 1999. - present Xanax prn up to 3 mg. 2000-2005 Prozac CT twice, 2005-2010 Zoloft CT 3 times, 2010-2013 Escitalopram 10 mg went from 2.5 to zero on 7 Aug 2013, bad crash 40 days afterreinstated to 5 mg Escitalopram 4Oct 2013 and holding liquid Xanax every 5 hours 28 Jan 2014 Xanax 1.9, 18 Apr 2015 1 mg, 25 June 2015 Lex 4.8, 6 Aug Lexapro 4.6, 1 Jan 2016 0.64 Xanax 9 month hold 24 Sept 2016 4.5 Lex, 17 Oct 4.4 Lex (Nov 0.63 Xanax, Dec 0.625 Xanax), 1 Jan 2017 4.3 Lex, 24 Jan 4.2, 5 Feb 4.1, 24 Mar 4 mg, 10 Apr 3.9 mg, May 3.85, June 3.8, July 3.75, 22 July 3.7, 15 Aug 3.65, 17 Sept 3.6, 1 Jan 2018 3.55, 19 Jan 3.5, 16 Mar 3.4, 14 Apr 3.3, 23 May 3.2, 16 June 3.15, 15 Jul 3.1, 31 Jul 3, 21 Aug 2.9 26 Sept 2.85, 14 Nov Xan 0.61, 1 Dec 0.59, 19 Dec 0.58, 4 Jan 0.565, 6 Feb 0.55, 20 Feb 0.535, 1 Mar 0.505, 10 Mar 0.475, 14 Mar 0.45, 4 Apr 0.415, 13 Apr 0.37, 21 Apr 0.33, 29 Apr 0.29, 10 May 0.27, 17 May 0.25, 28 May 0.22, 19 June 0.22, 21 Jun updose to 0.24, 24 Jun updose to 0.26 Supplements: Omega 3 + Vit E, Vit C, D, magnesium, Taurine, probiotic I'm not a medical professional. Any advice I give is based on my own experience and reading. Link to comment
Flowers Posted October 5, 2017 Share Posted October 5, 2017 HI LG I felt I had to write to you here and give you my experience regarding trying another AD. I am so sorry you are in this terrible situation. I was tapering successfully over a year when I hit a huge wave and ended up bedridden and not able to walk. I could never really pin down what caused the wave and held for a while with no improvement. I was so desperate I allowed my GP to prescribe me another AD which to say I reacted badly to would be an understatement! I had to go to the ER 3 times. I ended up being put on Xanax to cope with the side effects and had to go back to the original AD. I am still trying to stabilise. I can see you have had a lot of drug changes and maybe it is early days for you yet to see any big improvements. I know just how you feel as I have been there myself but please think very carefully about taking another drug. No one knows how any of us will react as we are all different and for some it has worked. I am very sensitive now to any drugs so think my whole CNS has been seriously affected. I hope whatever you decide to do works for you and that you get better. Love and hugs Flowers xxx 15 yrs on 20 to 30 mgs CITALOPRAM. MAY 2014 Increased to 40 mgs per day.SEPT/NOV 2014 tapered in 6 weeks down to 10 mgs as per Dr instructions due to violent nightmares/palpitations.Given Noctamid (lormetazepam) to help with anxiety. On average took 2mg per day for 8 weeks.No taper was advised.DEC 2014 WD severe. Nervous tic in eyes and limbs, muscle pain,fluct temp, weakness, dep and anxiety, nausea, giddy, unstable when walking. Different Dr suggested taking 20mgs CIT. BROMAZEPAM 3mgs up to 3 x daily for anxiety.DEC 9 2014 Updose CIT to 30mgs. Only taking BROMAZEPAM in emergency.DEC 31 2014 Settling at 30mg CIT - helping with depression. No Brom for 2wks.Found SA.APR 2015 Trying to stabilise on 30mgs CIT. JAN 2016 Started Cit Taper reducing by 5% per month. 28.5 mgs FEB Taper held bereavement. APR Taper resumed 27mgs . MAY 25.50 mgs . JUNE 24 mgs . JULY I stupidly mixed up my BP meds with CIT. Consequently took no CIT for 3 days and doubled my BP meds. Waiting for the fallout....Holding for a while until any chance of repercussions have abated. SEPT taper resumed to 22.5 mgs . OCT 21 mgs .NOV 19.95 mgs DEC crashed. 2017: FEB 3rd updose to 20.5 mgs to try to stabilise.FEB.switched over to 75mgs of Venlafaxine XR for 3 weeks.Too stimulating so switching back to Cit. 12 March 37.5 Ven and 20 Cit. 21 March 18mg Ven 20mg Cit. 4 April 9mg Ven 20mg Cit. Xanax .50mg when needed. 13 April 0 mgs Ven, 20mg Citalopram. Xanax .50 mg per day. 5 May reinstated a small amount of Ven to stabilize 1 mg twice a day. 20 mg Citalopram at night. Xanax .25 mg twice per day.Other Meds: Losartan (BP)Started 1993 at 50 mgs at night. Seretide (Asthma) Started 1996 at 1 puff twice a day. Jan 2019 Antibiotic Ceclor 500mgs twice a day for bronchitis and Atrovent 2ml capsules twice a day for asthma. Finished the course of both Jan 17. XANAX Jan 27 - Feb 3 2019 Failed Valium Crossover. Feb 14 2019 Updosed Xanax by .0625 Feb 17 2019 Decreased Xanax by .0625. Back to .50mg daily. Update Xanax 28.2.20 tapered to .1250 mg 8am .25 mg midnight. Update Xanax 11.8.21 tapered to .25 mg at night. Current Meds 28.2.19: CITALOPRAM 20mg taken at midnight. VENLAFAXINE .9 mg twice a day at 8am and 10pm. XANAX .50 mg split into 4 doses per day. 10am .0625mg / 2pm .1250mg/ 6pm .0625mg / midnight .25mg.Update 10.8.22 .25 mg at night. LOSARTAN 50 mgs taken at midnight. SERETIDE 1 puff taken at 8am and 10pm. 7.7.19 VENLAFAXINE UPDATE: Started tapering 10% every 4 weeks. Currently .4 mg twice a day at 8am and 10 pm. 2.9.19 .36 mg x 2. 1.10.19 .32 mg x 2. 26.11.19 .29 mg x2. 26.12.19 .26 mg x 2. 23.1.20 .23 mg x 2. 20.2.20 .21 mg x2.20.3.20 .19 mg x 2. 21.4.20 .17 mg x 2. 19.5.20 .13 mg x 2. 18.6.20 .11mg x 2 .18.7.20.10 mg x 2.1.9.20.09 mg x 2. 30.9. 20 .08 mg x 2. 1.11.20 .07 mg x 2. 2.12.20 .06 mg x 2. 8.1.21 .05 mg x 2. 4.2.21 .04 mg x 2. 9.3.21 .03 mgx2. 7.4.21 .02 mg x 2. 9.5.21 .01 mg x 2. 21.6.21 .01 mg x 1. 11.8.21 ZERO! Link to comment
Littlegrandma Posted October 5, 2017 Author Share Posted October 5, 2017 Scorpio, you had a long day with Jude today. You must be exhausted. I hope you were able to enjoy it. I am so confused right now. The pdoc and therapist want me to start reducing by 10%. You're right. Don't know if it's the drug or the lack of it. I did have a few windows but never symptom free. Just better. But the headache and eye thing is too much. I know you're 11 weeks now and that scares the hell out of me. I feel that after 5 wks I should have some relief but it seems to get worse. The anxiety isn't much of an issue as I have Ativan but these headaches are debilitating. And the nausea. I have done nothing today. I just spin when I'm up. I have the kids tomorrow and I'm already dreading it. I feel like I have the flu on top of a wine hangover. I can't imagine how you would have felt at 20 mg!! Why did you stick with the lex for so long when you were that sick? It just made me flat. So uncaring. I did have a rough time on the start up. I should have stopped right then. Did you ever come across the forum started by auntybiotic when you were researching lex w/d? It was a pretty good read. It sucked me in even though it was closed by the time I came across it. Aeroman from SA contributed to it. Anyway, a lot of the complaints on there were from people who gained too much weight while on lex. Even though it made them feel good , they wanted to come off cuz of the weigh gain. I'm not minimizing their reasons, but I was thinking I wish that was all it was for me. I just got thinner and couldn't afford to lose the weight in the first place. Now, I've lost so much more these last few months. I wish I could gain 30 or so and fill in my wrinkles. I cleaned my vape and filled it with red tobacco that I had in cabinet. Been using that today. I have no cigs, so that's good. But Paul will put his smokes on the table in garage when he gets home from work. I'll hear his truck and go running out for one. Have you been feeling pretty good today? I hope so after your rough day yesterday. I hope you have your feet up now and are relaxing with hubby. Hugs lg Lex 4.3mg, 3/2/18 Ativan ,5 mg, lunesta 2 mg , toprol 25 mg Oct 16-28 2018 C/O to 19 mg V from 1.5 mg Ativan, 1.3 mg lunesta jan 22 2019- 11 mg V jan 23 - pneumonia, 2 AB’s. Hold taper july 5- 10.72 V July 6- 11 mg V- ugly bad july 11- 10.72 mg V, 4.3 lex, 25 mg toprol Link to comment
Littlegrandma Posted October 5, 2017 Author Share Posted October 5, 2017 39 minutes ago, bubble said: As bad as it seems, it can get much worse. Spending lots of time in bed and on the couch is not the same as bed ridden and not being able to walk or just pacing around in the horror of akathisia. Worse means having no windows and no relief at all and instead things going from bad to worse. And not being able to even look at your grandson... How is your sleep? It would be really helpful to have a fuller drug history in your signature: a very brief mention of the drugs you were on throughout years together with years if you remember them approximately. When did you stop start and dates when you settled with this particular combination. Your drug history might explain a lot f what you are going through now. Again, 5 weeks is not such a long time. What happened before that? If you cold turkeyed or reduced rapidly it would be no wonder that you are struggling so badly. Still I think you are actually doing well! Bubble, how do I change my signature? Just put my history in my post? I see I still have xanax in my drug signature. That's no longer. I'm sure it could be worse as I did have akathasia for a couple months which lead me to Mayo Clinic. I didn't sleep or sit still for a couple months. And you're right. That was hell. I tremored and paced. Even at the hotel in Minn. I was up and down the elevator all night and smoking and pacing in the parking lot. That is why they prescribed Ativan when I was hospitalized. My HR was 120ish with a BP of 207/110. The ER here at home put me on metoprolol for BP. Do you want only prescription drug history? I get a few hours of sleep as I am taking the Ativan at night along with lunesta. I guess 5 wks isn't long considering I reduced by 50 %. But the few mo before that have me completely worn down and in despair. I really do appreciate your time. Thanks so much. Lg Lex 4.3mg, 3/2/18 Ativan ,5 mg, lunesta 2 mg , toprol 25 mg Oct 16-28 2018 C/O to 19 mg V from 1.5 mg Ativan, 1.3 mg lunesta jan 22 2019- 11 mg V jan 23 - pneumonia, 2 AB’s. Hold taper july 5- 10.72 V July 6- 11 mg V- ugly bad july 11- 10.72 mg V, 4.3 lex, 25 mg toprol Link to comment
Scorpio Posted October 5, 2017 Share Posted October 5, 2017 Hi lg it is so good to hear from you have really been scared for you. When I was at 5 weeks I was in hell too, I still am more often than not, but when I was really frightened one of the moderators said it will probably take three or four months to stabilise. So just keep hanging on. I know the headaches and eyes and the physical symptoms are really horrible. You have the pain in your head and I get it in my bowels like iron rods trying to pull my intestines out. Yesterday afternoon I was crying from the sheer pain until it stopped. I continuously rang the psychiatrist and doctor when I was going through those hellish months of starting begging for help and asking what was wrong and they just told me to cope and it would go, I didn’t know any better it is only in the last year I began questioning everything and started to find the answers. Unfortunately the damage caused by them had already been done. I know when I started looking up cipralex/lexapro forums earlier this year to see if anyone had all these symptoms I had (before I stopped taking it) lots of people were complaining about weight gain. It’s just you and me that are the skinny Lizzies. I was always slim but I have never been this thin it’s not nice is it. I never found that forum maybe it had closed before I started investigating. Well done on your vape, how was it, did you get any relief from it, or did it just add to your depression. Hope you are enjoying Paul’s cigs now. Maybe if you coped with the vape in the day and can get used to it knowing you can have the real thing at night could be a way of weaning off and going full time to the vape eventually. jude was a poppet but blimey yes exhausted. It did take my mind off the anxiety and this afternoon Tony took us to Sainsbury’s for the food shop which was great fun as Jude wouldn’t stay in the child seat of the trolley and kept trying to crawl round the shop. Dont rush into any decision about your drug, I think you need to weigh up what people like bubble, flower etc are saying and hopefully have a better nights sleep then think tomorrow what you want to do. Today and yesterday was hell for you and quite rightly your scared witless I know how it feels and I support whatever your decision is. I wish I could wave a magic wand over both of us. The children do tend to take your mind off it - tomorrow might be a little easier. Will your mum come over to support you. I hope so. Huge hugs. 2006 After sudden death of mother put on 20mg of citaloprom for depression. 2014 Drug stopped working after two weeks of panic attacks felt fine. Aug 2014. Doctor put me on lyrica for rash on face, diarrhoea, sleeplessness,muscle cramp, bruising. Initial dose too strong, halved dose. Stopped taking it 22/10/14 2014 severe anxiety after several ssri's attempted, seem to have developed severe sensitivity to any drug, but giving severe reactions put on cipralex drop form.started on 2 drops and had to increase by 1 drop every 3 days. Eventually got to 12 drops and had to stop as side effects every step of the way dreadful. Psychiatrist kept telling me to stick with it and my body would get used to it. Eventually down to 8 drops. Bad reactions throughout the time I was on it Have been on this until may 2017. Stopped over two weeks. Felt fine for 5 weeks after initial dizziness, nightmares, nausea, insomnia. Given diazepam by gp and told to take them when anxiety bad. Have only taken them very rarely as they frighten me. Last two weeks severe anxiety returned and feeling hopeless 11July 2017. Cipralex 2mg. Anxiety, nausea still severe 13 July 2017 Cipralex 1mg due to advice of too high dosage by kind person on thus site. so dropped from 2mg to 1mg and feelings of anxiety still at severe. As well as nausea, headaches, fatigue. 15 July still feeling extremely anxious verging on panic. Nausea, feelings of fainting, fatigue. Lots of head pains 3 August. Three weeks into trying to stabilise on one drop of cipralex. Still have waking from 4am. Sporadic upset stomach. Nausea. High anxiety. Throbbing/burning in nether regions seems to have eased for time being but stabbing/burning in calves of legs. Tinnitus. Occasional half to whole better days but mainly still struggling. Fatigue Link to comment
Littlegrandma Posted October 5, 2017 Author Share Posted October 5, 2017 47 minutes ago, Flowers said: HI LG I felt I had to write to you here and give you my experience regarding trying another AD. I am so sorry you are in this terrible situation. I was tapering successfully over a year when I hit a huge wave and ended up bedridden and not able to walk. I could never really pin down what caused the wave and held for a while with no improvement. I was so desperate I allowed my GP to prescribe me another AD which to say I reacted badly to would be an understatement! I had to go to the ER 3 times. I ended up being put on Xanax to cope with the side effects and had to go back to the original AD. I am still trying to stabilise. I can see you have had a lot of drug changes and maybe it is early days for you yet to see any big improvements. I know just how you feel as I have been there myself but please think very carefully about taking another drug. No one knows how any of us will react as we are all different and for some it has worked. I am very sensitive now to any drugs so think my whole CNS has been seriously affected. I hope whatever you decide to do works for you and that you get better. Love and hugs Flowers xxx Flowers, thank you so much for writing and your concern. I am sorry for what you have gone through. Are you back on the starting dose of your original AD? And are you still on the xanax? I haven't read through your thread yet though I have read some of your posts with Scorpio. You are such a kind person. That is terrifying that you were tapering slowly and ended up bedridden. What AD are you on? I swore I would never take another drug but so many drs seem to think they can help me. And I am getting desperate. I will not take another one at this time!!!! I just want this lex and Ativan out of my system. But I will hang here for awhile and try to stabilize. I just don't know if it's the w/d or the drugs causing so much pain. Thanks for writing. I appreciate your concern. Please stay in touch. Hugs. Lg Lex 4.3mg, 3/2/18 Ativan ,5 mg, lunesta 2 mg , toprol 25 mg Oct 16-28 2018 C/O to 19 mg V from 1.5 mg Ativan, 1.3 mg lunesta jan 22 2019- 11 mg V jan 23 - pneumonia, 2 AB’s. Hold taper july 5- 10.72 V July 6- 11 mg V- ugly bad july 11- 10.72 mg V, 4.3 lex, 25 mg toprol Link to comment
Littlegrandma Posted October 5, 2017 Author Share Posted October 5, 2017 20 minutes ago, Scorpio said: Hi lg it is so good to hear from you have really been scared for you. When I was at 5 weeks I was in hell too, I still am more often than not, but when I was really frightened one of the moderators said it will probably take three or four months to stabilise. So just keep hanging on. I know the headaches and eyes and the physical symptoms are really horrible. You have the pain in your head and I get it in my bowels like iron rods trying to pull my intestines out. Yesterday afternoon I was crying from the sheer pain until it stopped. I continuously rang the psychiatrist and doctor when I was going through those hellish months of starting begging for help and asking what was wrong and they just told me to cope and it would go, I didn’t know any better it is only in the last year I began questioning everything and started to find the answers. Unfortunately the damage caused by them had already been done. I know when I started looking up cipralex/lexapro forums earlier this year to see if anyone had all these symptoms I had (before I stopped taking it) lots of people were complaining about weight gain. It’s just you and me that are the skinny Lizzies. I was always slim but I have never been this thin it’s not nice is it. I never found that forum maybe it had closed before I started investigating. Well done on your vape, how was it, did you get any relief from it, or did it just add to your depression. Hope you are enjoying Paul’s cigs now. Maybe if you coped with the vape in the day and can get used to it knowing you can have the real thing at night could be a way of weaning off and going full time to the vape eventually. jude was a poppet but blimey yes exhausted. It did take my mind off the anxiety and this afternoon Tony took us to Sainsbury’s for the food shop which was great fun as Jude wouldn’t stay in the child seat of the trolley and kept trying to crawl round the shop. Dont rush into any decision about your drug, I think you need to weigh up what people like bubble, flower etc are saying and hopefully have a better nights sleep then think tomorrow what you want to do. Today and yesterday was hell for you and quite rightly your scared witless I know how it feels and I support whatever your decision is. I wish I could wave a magic wand over both of us. The children do tend to take your mind off it - tomorrow might be a little easier. Will your mum come over to support you. I hope so. Huge hugs. You are the sunshine of my day. You always know the right things to say. And you always give me a chuckle. Blimey! My ex sister in law was Scottish raised in England. I just loved her way with words. I still call babies wee wanes. I'm sure it was meant wee ones but that's sure not the way it sounded. And it stuck. 3 to 4 months to stabilize? Blimey!! Ha. I have no choice but to hang on. I am not going to try another med, I decided. Not at this time. I was just feeling so desperate yesterday and today. My therapist thinks going back to Zoloft would be brilliant for me as it worked so well in the past. I have been thin my whole life. When I was in grade school, I was taller than all the boys. There was only one girl taller than me. She walked stooped over to hide her height and I would wear two pairs of pants to hide my skinny legs. The boys called me mama long legs. Now I see it as a compliment. Not so much in 5th grade. Ha. I was smoking as you said hope you're enjoying Paul's cigs now. I did quit once using the vape. It was nice not to smell like an ashtray. I also got accupuncture once to quit. I did it with my girlfriend. It worked for me for 7 yrs. She never lit up again. You know I had the pain in my bowels also, but it only lasted for a couple days. Thank God. The numbness in my brain and face has gone to my limbs today. How many more side effects can there possibly be? I hope that's the end. My weak brain can't handle much more. I was such a sniveling baby on this forum today. It hit me so hard today. Just felt despair and desperate. But I'll try to go back to my kinda patient self and just complain to you. Lucky Scorpio!! I am going to make the most of my day with the kids tomorrow. I'm sure my mom will be around to help. She usually is and I appreciate it so much. Even when I felt good, 4 hands were better than 2. And it's nice to have her company at the park or river, feeding the ducks. And especially at the store as Jonathan doesn't want to stay in the cart for long and they both run in different directions. I hope you're in a deep restful sleep. I will talk to you tomorrow. ❤️Lg Lex 4.3mg, 3/2/18 Ativan ,5 mg, lunesta 2 mg , toprol 25 mg Oct 16-28 2018 C/O to 19 mg V from 1.5 mg Ativan, 1.3 mg lunesta jan 22 2019- 11 mg V jan 23 - pneumonia, 2 AB’s. Hold taper july 5- 10.72 V July 6- 11 mg V- ugly bad july 11- 10.72 mg V, 4.3 lex, 25 mg toprol Link to comment
Moderator Emeritus bubble Posted October 6, 2017 Moderator Emeritus Share Posted October 6, 2017 10 hours ago, Littlegrandma said: Just put my history in my post? This is not enough because people and mods who want to offer advice won't be able to scroll through your thread every time to look for it... that's why all of us have signatures which appear every time we post. You also have one but it's not really helpful so it would be good to edit it. The place where we can edit our signatures is unfortunately very hidden. You need to open your profile page. On the top right corner you will see a drop down menu next to your name (it's quite tiny so I didn't see it for a long time). Zou go to account setting and on the left you will have Overview with signature field. 10 hours ago, Littlegrandma said: Do you want only prescription drug history? that will be enough. Scorpio has a pretty good history. Describing symptoms is not needed for signature just drugs and dates. 10 hours ago, Littlegrandma said: I guess 5 wks isn't long considering I reduced by 50 %. Exactly! I totally understand you are worn out but if you do something rash now you might end up feeling even worse and it will end up taking even longer to recover... What happened with Xanax? Current: 9/2022 Xanax 0.08, Lexapro 2 2020 Xanax 0.26 (down from 2 mg in 2013), Lexapro 2.85 mg (down from 5 mg 2013) Amitriptyline (tricyclic AD) and clonazepam for 3 months to treat headache in 1996 1999. - present Xanax prn up to 3 mg. 2000-2005 Prozac CT twice, 2005-2010 Zoloft CT 3 times, 2010-2013 Escitalopram 10 mg went from 2.5 to zero on 7 Aug 2013, bad crash 40 days afterreinstated to 5 mg Escitalopram 4Oct 2013 and holding liquid Xanax every 5 hours 28 Jan 2014 Xanax 1.9, 18 Apr 2015 1 mg, 25 June 2015 Lex 4.8, 6 Aug Lexapro 4.6, 1 Jan 2016 0.64 Xanax 9 month hold 24 Sept 2016 4.5 Lex, 17 Oct 4.4 Lex (Nov 0.63 Xanax, Dec 0.625 Xanax), 1 Jan 2017 4.3 Lex, 24 Jan 4.2, 5 Feb 4.1, 24 Mar 4 mg, 10 Apr 3.9 mg, May 3.85, June 3.8, July 3.75, 22 July 3.7, 15 Aug 3.65, 17 Sept 3.6, 1 Jan 2018 3.55, 19 Jan 3.5, 16 Mar 3.4, 14 Apr 3.3, 23 May 3.2, 16 June 3.15, 15 Jul 3.1, 31 Jul 3, 21 Aug 2.9 26 Sept 2.85, 14 Nov Xan 0.61, 1 Dec 0.59, 19 Dec 0.58, 4 Jan 0.565, 6 Feb 0.55, 20 Feb 0.535, 1 Mar 0.505, 10 Mar 0.475, 14 Mar 0.45, 4 Apr 0.415, 13 Apr 0.37, 21 Apr 0.33, 29 Apr 0.29, 10 May 0.27, 17 May 0.25, 28 May 0.22, 19 June 0.22, 21 Jun updose to 0.24, 24 Jun updose to 0.26 Supplements: Omega 3 + Vit E, Vit C, D, magnesium, Taurine, probiotic I'm not a medical professional. Any advice I give is based on my own experience and reading. Link to comment
Moderator Emeritus ChessieCat Posted October 6, 2017 Moderator Emeritus Share Posted October 6, 2017 7 minutes ago, bubble said: The place where we can edit our signatures is unfortunately very hidden. This link takes you straight to your own signature: Account Settings – Create or Edit a signature * NO LONGER ACTIVE on SA * MISSION ACCOMPLISHED: (6 year taper) 0mg Pristiq on 13th November 2021 ADs since ~1992: 25+ years - 1 unknown, Prozac (muscle weakness), Zoloft; citalopram (pooped out) CTed (very sick for 2.5 wks a few months after); Pristiq: 50mg 2012, 100mg beg 2013 (Serotonin Toxicity) Tapering from Oct 2015 - 13 Nov 2021 LAST DOSE 0.0025mg Post 0 updates start here My tapering program My Intro (goes to tapering graph) VIDEO: Antidepressant Withdrawal Syndrome and its Management Link to comment
Scorpio Posted October 6, 2017 Share Posted October 6, 2017 11 hours ago, Littlegrandma said: You are the sunshine of my day. You always know the right things to say. And you always give me a chuckle. Blimey! My ex sister in law was Scottish raised in England. I just loved her way with words. I still call babies wee wanes. I'm sure it was meant wee ones but that's sure not the way it sounded. And it stuck. 3 to 4 months to stabilize? Blimey!! Ha. I have no choice but to hang on. I am not going to try another med, I decided. Not at this time. I was just feeling so desperate yesterday and today. My therapist thinks going back to Zoloft would be brilliant for me as it worked so well in the past. I have been thin my whole life. When I was in grade school, I was taller than all the boys. There was only one girl taller than me. She walked stooped over to hide her height and I would wear two pairs of pants to hide my skinny legs. The boys called me mama long legs. Now I see it as a compliment. Not so much in 5th grade. Ha. I was smoking as you said hope you're enjoying Paul's cigs now. I did quit once using the vape. It was nice not to smell like an ashtray. I also got accupuncture once to quit. I did it with my girlfriend. It worked for me for 7 yrs. She never lit up again. You know I had the pain in my bowels also, but it only lasted for a couple days. Thank God. The numbness in my brain and face has gone to my limbs today. How many more side effects can there possibly be? I hope that's the end. My weak brain can't handle much more. I was such a sniveling baby on this forum today. It hit me so hard today. Just felt despair and desperate. But I'll try to go back to my kinda patient self and just complain to you. Lucky Scorpio!! I am going to make the most of my day with the kids tomorrow. I'm sure my mom will be around to help. She usually is and I appreciate it so much. Even when I felt good, 4 hands were better than 2. And it's nice to have her company at the park or river, feeding the ducks. And especially at the store as Jonathan doesn't want to stay in the cart for long and they both run in different directions. I hope you're in a deep restful sleep. I will talk to you tomorrow. ❤️Lg Hi lg i hope you are tucked up and sleeping peacefully away from all those rotten side effects. I am so glad you have decided to hang on and don’t ever apologise for being frightened and calling out for help. This site has everyone who has been in hell or going through it like you and I and everyone on here knows how frightening it is, nobody judges anyone and everyone understands. The biggest thing that helps us get through moment by moment at times is the support on here as even though our families love us they have no idea what this feels like and their natural instinct to help us are Doctors. Has the pain gone from your head and eyes and now surfaced in your limbs or is it still there as well, I hope not . I so admire you for having the babies today to even consider that is amazing. Yes it is so much easier with two people even so you can go to the loo without little people coming too. Wee ones haha yes I don’t understand Scottish accents either! We have so many accents in this country and I’m from the south and the northern accents can be completely alien. Keep going with the vape you dud it before but much better than I did as I still use mine like a dummy nearly three years later. I know I prefer it to the fags now. I imagined you were a short arse like me as you are little grandma I’m 5.3”. One of the little people that look at people like you for help when can’t reach top shelf's. I am keeping everything crossed for you that you wake this morning feeling so much better. I took a little melatonin and slept til 6 but couldn’t drag myself out til 7 with the usual friendly nightmare of anxiety, nausea, tinnitus and bowels. Luisa and Jude are coming here un a minute for the day. She is going out tonight for the first time since Jude was born with the group of girls she met on natural childbirth group when pregnant. They were all due within 6 weeks of each other and all live within 8 miles. They have given each other company and lots of support and tonight it is ditch the babies and husbands and go out for dinner together. I think she us looking forward to it but still breastfeeds at night especially so she and Jordan have been trying to train jude with a bedroom routine this week not sure how that will pan out tonight ‘big hugs fingers crossed for you today keep writing. 2006 After sudden death of mother put on 20mg of citaloprom for depression. 2014 Drug stopped working after two weeks of panic attacks felt fine. Aug 2014. Doctor put me on lyrica for rash on face, diarrhoea, sleeplessness,muscle cramp, bruising. Initial dose too strong, halved dose. Stopped taking it 22/10/14 2014 severe anxiety after several ssri's attempted, seem to have developed severe sensitivity to any drug, but giving severe reactions put on cipralex drop form.started on 2 drops and had to increase by 1 drop every 3 days. Eventually got to 12 drops and had to stop as side effects every step of the way dreadful. Psychiatrist kept telling me to stick with it and my body would get used to it. Eventually down to 8 drops. Bad reactions throughout the time I was on it Have been on this until may 2017. Stopped over two weeks. Felt fine for 5 weeks after initial dizziness, nightmares, nausea, insomnia. Given diazepam by gp and told to take them when anxiety bad. Have only taken them very rarely as they frighten me. Last two weeks severe anxiety returned and feeling hopeless 11July 2017. Cipralex 2mg. Anxiety, nausea still severe 13 July 2017 Cipralex 1mg due to advice of too high dosage by kind person on thus site. so dropped from 2mg to 1mg and feelings of anxiety still at severe. As well as nausea, headaches, fatigue. 15 July still feeling extremely anxious verging on panic. Nausea, feelings of fainting, fatigue. Lots of head pains 3 August. Three weeks into trying to stabilise on one drop of cipralex. Still have waking from 4am. Sporadic upset stomach. Nausea. High anxiety. Throbbing/burning in nether regions seems to have eased for time being but stabbing/burning in calves of legs. Tinnitus. Occasional half to whole better days but mainly still struggling. Fatigue Link to comment
Littlegrandma Posted October 6, 2017 Author Share Posted October 6, 2017 Nope. Wide awake. Anxiety seems to be getting worse. It wakes me every morning. Pain and numbness were worse last night. Paul asked me if I had changed any supplements. I did add vitE. I wonder if that could be doing it. Going to skip it for a few days. I've already been out to the garage smoking. I sit out there and have a few and drink my protein drink shaking with anxiety. Paul will take cigs to work and I'll return to the vape. I also have a nicorette addiction. God, what is wrong with me? I'm actually 5'8''. Well, the dr says I'm 5'7''. Could I be shrinking already? Tired. Going to close my eyes. Have fun with Jude and take it easy on your back. You've had some relief. Don't go backwards. Lex 4.3mg, 3/2/18 Ativan ,5 mg, lunesta 2 mg , toprol 25 mg Oct 16-28 2018 C/O to 19 mg V from 1.5 mg Ativan, 1.3 mg lunesta jan 22 2019- 11 mg V jan 23 - pneumonia, 2 AB’s. Hold taper july 5- 10.72 V July 6- 11 mg V- ugly bad july 11- 10.72 mg V, 4.3 lex, 25 mg toprol Link to comment
Littlegrandma Posted October 6, 2017 Author Share Posted October 6, 2017 3 hours ago, bubble said: This is not enough because people and mods who want to offer advice won't be able to scroll through your thread every time to look for it... that's why all of us have signatures which appear every time we post. You also have one but it's not really helpful so it would be good to edit it. The place where we can edit our signatures is unfortunately very hidden. You need to open your profile page. On the top right corner you will see a drop down menu next to your name (it's quite tiny so I didn't see it for a long time). Zou go to account setting and on the left you will have Overview with signature field. that will be enough. Scorpio has a pretty good history. Describing symptoms is not needed for signature just drugs and dates. Exactly! I totally understand you are worn out but if you do something rash now you might end up feeling even worse and it will end up taking even longer to recover... What happened with Xanax? I changed my drug history to the best of my memory. I stopped xanax when Mayo put me on a steady dose of Ativan. So I took it for about 2 months. Usually .175 mg but more when I was up in minn. to get me thru the clinic til the put me inpatient. My anxiety has increased this week. I wasn't waking with that cortisol rush for several weeks but it's back. All symptoms seem to be intensifying. Anxiety, migraine and eye pain are the worst right now. The only thing I changed was to add vit E to my supps. Going to drop that today thank you Lex 4.3mg, 3/2/18 Ativan ,5 mg, lunesta 2 mg , toprol 25 mg Oct 16-28 2018 C/O to 19 mg V from 1.5 mg Ativan, 1.3 mg lunesta jan 22 2019- 11 mg V jan 23 - pneumonia, 2 AB’s. Hold taper july 5- 10.72 V July 6- 11 mg V- ugly bad july 11- 10.72 mg V, 4.3 lex, 25 mg toprol Link to comment
Littlegrandma Posted October 6, 2017 Author Share Posted October 6, 2017 3 hours ago, ChessieCat said: This link takes you straight to your own signature: Account Settings – Create or Edit a signature Thanks Chessie. I finally found it Lex 4.3mg, 3/2/18 Ativan ,5 mg, lunesta 2 mg , toprol 25 mg Oct 16-28 2018 C/O to 19 mg V from 1.5 mg Ativan, 1.3 mg lunesta jan 22 2019- 11 mg V jan 23 - pneumonia, 2 AB’s. Hold taper july 5- 10.72 V July 6- 11 mg V- ugly bad july 11- 10.72 mg V, 4.3 lex, 25 mg toprol Link to comment
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