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Ladywingnut Successful withdrawal from effexor/venlafaxine

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Ladywingnut

Hello Surviving Antidepressant friends

 

Around 18 months ago I posted this thread desperately seeking help for tapering gone wrong.  I had been on a treatment dose of 300mg of Effexor, which I had reduced around 80%.  I went to a psychiatrist to seek advice on tapering and bridging and he told me the amount I was on was almost nothing and there would be no issue if I tapered off over a couple of weeks.  That caused the worst withdrawal I have ever had, including what felt like 48 hours of suicidal panic attacks and inability to sleep.  My memory from that time is blurry.

 

Anyway.

 

After that I tapered back on to Effexor until the worst of the discontinuation syndrome subsided, which ended up being back up to 10mg, or 30 beads.  I stayed that way for around 8 months before trying to go off again.  I would take my dose every morning in the same place, around the same time, by pouring out the little beads onto my hand, counting them, taking them, then brushing my teeth.

 

The next time I started going off I reduced by 1-3 beads every 3-4 days (more at the beginning, fewer at the end).  I also conducted a little placebo conditioning experiment with myself, where I replaced the lost beads with white 100s and 1000s (I think Americans call them sprinkles?).  I figured, after reading up on the classical conditioning mechanism in the placebo effect, that the eight months of "ritual" around taking the drug might be sufficient to allow the placebo sugar beads to have the same effect as the drug on my brain.  Once there were no more drug beads I continued "taking" the 100s and 1000s each morning for a few weeks.

 

I'm not going to recommend the placebo approach outright for obvious reasons (I am not a doctor or scientist; my understanding of the placebo effect is probably rudimentary).  However, in my specific case, the experience of going from 30 beads to 0 beads, was a million times better the second time than the first.  Other factors that likely helped:

 

  • It was about 5 times slower than the first time;
  • I had adjusted to the 30 bead dose before I started;
  • I took even longer gaps between reductions of the last beads;
  • I was not working as much as I went through this process.

 

Now.  While it was easier than the first time, it was still not easy.  I felt churned up emotionally and was super irritable, I had rage flashes, my anxiety increased hugely, anhedonia returned, I had nausea, and my muscles, particularly in my legs, spasmed and twitched, often violently.  I could, however, sleep for the most part, and none of these symptoms got too much in the way of life (granted I was not working very much and I work for myself anyway; it would have interfered if I worked for someone else).  It helped to know that if I could just get through those few weeks then things would probably get better. These symptoms lasted around 2 weeks after the final drug dose, which was early April 2017.

 

And things did get better. For me, most of the side effects of the drugs have now gone.  Most significantly, my sense of self and my creativity have returned.  It had felt like they were being numbed or muted by the drugs, and I couldn't access them.  Off the drugs I now have access to them.  Similarly, my ability to enjoy sex has improved, and I don't feel like that side of me is muted either.

 

The above is really tremendous; feeling like yourself again instead of a weird muted robot alien is a big relief.  However, while I consider the drug withdrawal to be 100% successful and 100% the right decision for me, I should caveat that with the following context:

 

  • The drugs appeared to be muting extreme unresolved emotional distress, both from childhood stuff and from rape and sexual assault from a few years ago. The pain from this sort of exploded when the drugs went away.  My primary diagnoses are anxiety and major depression, but it appears even those were symptoms of childhood stuff.  
  • When I came off the drugs it was the first time I had been drug free in around 13 years.  I am highly sensitive and have a big emotional world, but I never learned how to regulate stimulation and emotion, and then had it muted by drugs.  When I came off the drugs the emotions and stimulation were pretty extreme and often overwhelming. I took from that that I should learn skills of emotion regulation though, rather than that I should go back on the drugs.  Even with only 3-4 months of practice, I am hugely improved and the emotions and stimulation overwhelm me much less frequently.  (Now they inform my creative work and my service work, and are real positive assets for me, albeit ones that require sensitivity and management.)
  • I have the great privilege of being able not to work for a while while I recover fully, which is lucky because I cannot currently work.  I put that down to unresolved trauma that has now come to the fore rather than drug withdrawal.
  • I am doing deep dive work with my psychologist that is helping more than any other talk therapy I've done, and I think that work will be sufficient to return me to work eventually.  I see her weekly.  That work is also subsidised by the government because it is about recovery from sexual trauma, meaning for now I do not pay anything for it (another enormous privilege). 
  • I have a partner who is extraordinarily supportive and gets what is happening for me.  He judges fair contribution to the relationship by reference to each partner's capacity, and thinks that because he has more capacity right now it is fair that he do more housework, financial contribution etc than me.  This has allowed me not to push myself beyond capacity, which has meant I have recovered more quickly.  

 

In conclusion, while I am currently not working and my capacity to do a lot of things is severely restricted, I could not be happier that I am off the drugs.  I feel like I have real issues (childhood trauma and sexual trauma) that require serious work, but now I feel like I am actually properly addressing them, instead of having them be muted yet just as destructive.  I also no longer have the drug side effects interfering with my ability to enjoy things, make music and comedy, have intimacy with my partner, meaning recovery feels more authentic and there is more joy in it.  Things still hurt a lot, but my world feels real in a way it wasn't on the drugs.  It's hard to explain to anyone who hasn't come off these drugs before.  

 

In simple terms:  I have hope.  I can experience joy and enjoyment.  I am excited about what the rest of my life might bring.  Even while I know that I am in the middle of pretty extreme emotional upheaval and trauma processing, life is better than it has ever been.  I am finally able to be fully, authentically myself, in ways that the drugs (and the trauma and mental health issues) got in the way of.  I am optimistic.  

 

 

 

 

 

 

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Woodhull

Effexor is a joke as well as medicine and your doctor. No pun intended. I am 27 years old. Put myself on 150 mg of Effexor 2 years ago and have tried many ways to tapper off. I am currently at 10 mg. I am tremendously happy you are off this medication and have shared your story. 

Thank you. 

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Madeleine

Great to read your positive update. Thanks for sharing! 

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Hibari

Thank you for sharing your experience and I really hear how hard you worked to get off your meds.

 

It's always good to hear from someone who is on the other side of the experience even though I know you are still working through some deeply personal issues.

 

Wonderful update. 

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theloneranger86

Thanks for sharing your experience. If you could please throw a little light on how and when your feeling began to come back ? What did it feel like - was recovery linear for you ? Also (only if you're comfortable with it) do you think your sexuality is completely back ? Was it significantly muted during those 18months ?

 

Really glad to see someone come out on top . Happy drug free living :)

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Hellbutrin

Hi Lady Wingnut,

 

Thanks for sharing your story! It's so encouraging to hear stories from people who have recovered from these drugs and are finding other ways to work with their anxiety and depression. I tapered off of Wellbutrin 75mg three weeks ago and I'm still having pretty bad anhedonia, so I'm hoping that the only reason that I'm still experiencing anhedonia is because I tapered too quickly. I guess only time will tell, but I really can't imagine not being able to concentrate and being stuck with this "blah" feeling from anhedonia forever. Thanks for sharing your story, it definitely encourages those of us who are still going through hell with these drugs.

Edited by scallywag
deleted quote of first post for readability

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Joy71

Thank you for sharing Ladywingnut. I'm feeling incredibly overwhelmed as I'm tapering off Wellbutrin. I tapered off Escitalopram slowly earlier this year. That was a horrible ordeal but it effected me more physically (eg. Brain zaps, flu-like symptoms and exhaustion). Tapering off Wellbutrin so far is much more emotional. The extreme agitation to sadness to fear. I hope I can get through this without relapsing. Any extra stress seems unbearable. How many weeks did it take you to taper off completely?

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Ladywingnut

Thanks everyone for your supportive messages - hopefully it helps with all of your journeys too.

 

@Hellbutrin Re anhedonia - it is so so bad to have anhedonia, not least because it is very hard to get people who still feel pleasure to understand what it is to have your would go grey.  I will say that I have dipped in and out of anhedonia a bit, and the things that I seemed to help most in hastening the coming out of it was an exercise I found here.  That site is pretty great and if you have the funds you might consider her programme for long term recovery, especially if your anhedonia has been around for a while.  In my case, when I was anhedonic, I limited media that were stressful (Twitter, Facebook, the news, any comedy about Trump etc as it was around the election), and I paid attention to the most micro of enjoyable things and enjoyable impulses.  These were very micro, and it took doing this consciously (paper and pen) for a few days for me to get momentum, but I understand from the neuroscience POV that even just looking for enjoyable stuff helps your brain kickstart, even if you don't find anything.  So, it started with a tiny spark of a happy feeling seeing my dog lying in a sunbeam.  It helped to rewatch media that I had previously enjoyed, and really tune into the feelings in body and mind, even if they were just memories (for me it was Gilmore Girls and some standup that I had loved).  It took a while, but I felt that at least I had a direction to face, a thing to try.  And the feelings did come back to me.  Since then when I have dipped into anhedonia again it has been easier to get myself out again.  (And trust me, if it were me reading this a few months ago I would have been rolling my eyes and thinking YEAH RIGHT BUT WHO HAS THE ENERGY, so if reading this makes you feel that, that's ok too.)

 

@theloneranger86 - Recovery was definitely not linear.  I started to get feelings back pretty much immediately when I was off completely, but they were all over the place and there was a lot of spontaneous rage.  It would not have looked from the outside like I was "better".  It took around 3-4 weeks for me to notice that some of that volatility had gone.  But I am still going back and forth.  Just as one indicator though, my suicidal thinking is rare and less intense.  After those 3-4 weeks I had a couple of months of almost no suicidal thinking, which was very very different from before I came off the drugs.  I understand from reading people's stuff that people's recovery timelines vary greatly though.

 

The sexuality thing is pretty complex for me.  I remember being a pretty naturally sexual teenager but I was put on SSRIs before I became sexually active, and have been on drugs of various kinds for my whole sexual life (until now).  I therefore don't really know what it's like to be sexually active without the interference of drugs.   All of the drugs inhibited orgasm and ability to feel sexual pleasure (the SSRIs particularly), such that I could not come with a partner or without a vibrator for at least 10 years.  The drugs also seemed to reduce my capacity for enjoyment and pleasure, meaning sex was not a fun, nice thing, but rather a chore.  Since my sexuality is mostly responsive rather than spontaneous, context is especially important.  And then, because I had some really dysfunctional ideas about sex, I tried to have sex with partners anyway, even though I didn't enjoy it much or especially want to, and that made it even less enjoyable, until the sexual context itself became threatening.  This was compounded by being raped and sexually assaulted, plus sex is often physically painful for me.  I give that context because obviously while the drugs added to the mix of issues it was not the only thing going on that made me not want sex or enjoy the sex I was having.  

 

I would say that my ability to orgasm improved as soon as I started to reduce the drugs, and almost exploded when I went off them completely.  The contrast would be between needing an especially heavy duty vibrator before, with no guarantees, versus orgasms within 2-3 minutes of touch now.  The orgasms are also more pleasurable than they were on the drugs; on the drugs they were a release of pressure but not always pleasurable.  However.  Sexual desire has not changed all that much. 

 

In short, the drugs restricted my enjoyment of sex for over a decade, and sex not being that enjoyable meant my desire for it reduced a lot, and then it all got complex because I tried to meet partners' demands for sex anyway, and got seriously traumatised in the process (not to mention the rape and sexual assault, which were separate). 

 

If your question is directed more at sexual desire than orgasm, and you are female identified, and you have not read about responsive desire before, please please PLEASE do yourself the favour of reading Emily Nagoski's work in this area.  Her book, Come As You Are, is wonderful for accepting your own sexual style and for understanding more about the factors that contribute to so-called "low desire".  Even if you are on ADs, as I was when I first read it, there can be a lot more joy and pleasure to be had than you might think.  A thing that gets a bit lost in the conversation about low desire and ADs (especially in women) is that if you have predominantly responsive desire, your brakes on sex get triggered more easily.  Being depressed, stressed, fearful, upset, are mega brakes to sex for most people.  So the fact that interest in sex reduces or evaporates while you are depressed is a pretty normal thing; your body and mind consider they have more urgent stuff to deal with. And then, the drugs add to that bad context by often removing ability to orgasm or experience sexual stuff as pleasurable, plus the drugs don't really take away the depression; in my experience they just muted it without adding in any nice "good" feelings.  So it would make sense that even on ADs, the sexual context is going to have a steeper uphill climb than it otherwise would.  

 

My advice would be not to lose hope though; if you are unfamiliar with Nagoski's work it may go a very long way in helping you feel comfortable sexually again, on or off the drugs.  

 

Again, I note that I have the privilege of a partner who is very supportive (it shouldn't be a privilege but in my experience it is).  He read the book too and asked me lots of questions about my experience of sex, meaning we are on the same page (so to speak, ugh).  He also has responsive desire himself, meaning we do not have a chasing dynamic, which is hugely helpful.   

 

 

 

 

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KarenB
Quote

 

I'm feeling incredibly overwhelmed as I'm tapering off Wellbutrin. I tapered off Escitalopram slowly earlier this year. That was a horrible ordeal but it effected me more physically (eg. Brain zaps, flu-like symptoms and exhaustion). Tapering off Wellbutrin so far is much more emotional. The extreme agitation to sadness to fear. I hope I can get through this without relapsing. Any extra stress seems unbearable.

 

 

Hello Joy,

I would like to invite you to start an Intro thread of your own so you can get some information and support.  It sounds like you may be tapering a bit fast.  Once you have your own Intro thread and signature we'll be better able to help you.

 

Welcome to SA,

Karen

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Hellbutrin
On 8/27/2017 at 11:33 PM, Ladywingnut said:

 

@Hellbutrin Re anhedonia - it is so so bad to have anhedonia, not least because it is very hard to get people who still feel pleasure to understand what it is to have your would go grey.  I will say that I have dipped in and out of anhedonia a bit, and the things that I seemed to help most in hastening the coming out of it was an exercise I found here.  That site is pretty great and if you have the funds you might consider her programme for long term recovery, especially if your anhedonia has been around for a while.  In my case, when I was anhedonic, I limited media that were stressful (Twitter, Facebook, the news, any comedy about Trump etc as it was around the election), and I paid attention to the most micro of enjoyable things and enjoyable impulses.  These were very micro, and it took doing this consciously (paper and pen) for a few days for me to get momentum, but I understand from the neuroscience POV that even just looking for enjoyable stuff helps your brain kickstart, even if you don't find anything.  So, it started with a tiny spark of a happy feeling seeing my dog lying in a sunbeam.  It helped to rewatch media that I had previously enjoyed, and really tune into the feelings in body and mind, even if they were just memories (for me it was Gilmore Girls and some standup that I had loved).  It took a while, but I felt that at least I had a direction to face, a thing to try.  And the feelings did come back to me.  Since then when I have dipped into anhedonia again it has been easier to get myself out again.  (And trust me, if it were me reading this a few months ago I would have been rolling my eyes and thinking YEAH RIGHT BUT WHO HAS THE ENERGY, so if reading this makes you feel that, that's ok too.)

Thanks Ladywingnut, 

 

I really appreciate all of the information! I've seen some VERY slight improvement, and I know that I've still got a loooong road ahead of me before I recover from the complete emotional flatness. I just want to know that recovery is possible, and hearing it from other people who have had similar experiences is very helpful. 

Edited by scallywag
trimmed quote to relevant portion

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powerback

Good on you LW for getting off the poison all they do is get in the way of making progress with our issues and the crap that life throws at us

 

 ,I'm also doing the beads out method and its ripping me apart. I actually woke my partner up the  other night screaming "F U " in my dream

,I can so relate about the super emotionality and irritation ,its a nightmare ,ide say I've wrecked friendship because of this but sod them ,if they only had it for a second ,sadly work was connected to these friendships .

 

I'm taking out 1 bead every 2 weeks but this is not working ,I've basically had cold turkey symptoms taking the dam poison so what a pain

. I have real fears because of trying to get off it ,I wouldn't mind the tiredness .its the other symptoms that change my personality and people just run a mile .

Thanks for posting your progress , it fills me with hope because there's no way anyone is supposed to live like this for an hour let alone months and years .

I wish you continued success in your recovery .

PB

Edited by scallywag
deleted quote of first post for readability

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Purplerain

Thank you so much for your success story.

You sound like an exceptionally courageous person with a lot of insight, and you have given me hope today. Xx

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MamaCat

I realize you haven't posted in awhile but thank you so much for sharing your success story. As someone struggling to get off effexor, this gives me hope!

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SquirrellyGirl

Well, I'm late to the party, but I thank you, Ladywingnut, for writing this story of hope.  I appreciate your depth of sharing because you spoke to my experience with the anhedonia, especially the sexual.  I have ordered up a Kindle copy of Come As You Are!  

 

I am at 4.4 mg venlafaxine and still living in a state of general anhedonia.  I was beginning to really fear that this is who I will be forever even completely off the drugs, but your story makes me feel a little more positive about the future off.

 

I hope you are out there so busy enjoying life that you've forgotten to check back!

 

SG

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Ladywingnut

Hello kind friends, and thank you for your kind words!

 

I thought I would check in again as it's been another good chunk of time.  In the interim I have actually been diagnosed with borderline personality disorder, or at least borderline borderline, ha.  I had a very stressful Christmas that let me to think I would never fully recover from my trauma and my amorphous mood disorder.  I became acutely suicidal, and so I went to the hospital and they suggested I might have borderline.  I don't have any addiction issues or any manipulation in relationships issues but I have the emotional reactivity and the pain of it, as well as the lack of sense of self.  It was strangely a relief to get the diagnosis (even though the internet would have you believe it's the worst thing in the world) because it made sense of the ongoing pain and suggested a path to recovery.  

 

The interesting thing about borderline is its primary treatment is not drugs, yet I was treated with drugs for years.  To be fair I did have anxiety and depression as well, but I was misdiagnosed at the outset, and it made recovery much harder.  Part of this does seem to be the role of drugs.  The drugs numbed my emotions, which helped me "function" to some extent, but not learn how to regulate my emotions or be myself.  Most adolescents and young adults naturally learn to regulate emotions by practising a lot, but because the drugs obscured what feelings felt like, which ones were real vs which ones were side effects, all sorts of stuff, I think that set me back a long way.  Most young people also consolidate their sense of self in that time, but my sense of self was shaky to start with and then was obscured even more by the drugs. 

 

BUT.  This is still a hopeful story.  Those things can all be learned manually, and I'm learning them manually now.  Even though I remain highly emotionally reactive and I am in pain a lot of the time, I still prefer this reality to the drugged one.  As I've said before, at least these feelings are really mine, and at least I am now growing a sense of self that feels good to inhabit.  My sense of self really eroded on the drugs (with unhelpful assistance from untreated borderline). 

 

This stuff is obviously complex.  We can't know cause and effect fully, but I do wish there had been more active management of my drugs instead of sending me off to be on them, unsupervised, indefinitely.  And I wish I'd never been on effexor.  

 

I am healing and recovering pretty well, given all the stuff that's happened.  It helps to now be doing a lot more work that is targeted directly at borderline rather than just general trauma and mood stuff, and to be able to recognise lots of borderline ways of thinking (all or nothing in particular).  According to my psychologist I am doing really really well dismantling the exceptionally cruel voice in my head.  In terms of quality of life - I have secured paid writing and consulting gigs, both of which feel GOOD TO DO, which I still find astonishing (to my mind work was always supposed to be drudgery).  I have enough capacity to work part time on that stuff, and it is fulfilling and demonstrably helps others, which is great.  I am still with my lovely boyfriend who remains supportive, albeit that we have had to structure more alone time for him.  I have spirals most days, but they are shorter, and I am able to be kinder to myself during them.  I am often even able to be kind to myself when I feel low for no reason.  I have more experiences of authenticity and enjoying stuff, enough that I can mostly get through the periods when I dip into anhedonia for a day or two.  I sometimes have fleeting suicidal or hopeless thoughts but they are pretty rare these days (once every month or two?), and never reach the level of wanting to actually do anything, which is perhaps the clearest evidence of improvement.  I would say full recovery is still a way off, but that is because of the borderline and PTSD; drug withdrawal etc is very far off in the rear view mirror.  I am finally addressing the underlying trauma, which feels good.  

 

@SquirrellyGirl - YAY.  I hope you enjoy that book.  It helped me so much.

 

To everyone else going through withdrawal - it is a super hard thing.  I have learned in this journey that when you are going through a super hard thing, it is important not to beat yourself up when you find the super hard thing super hard.  It is important to be kind to yourself, and show yourself compassion.  You are courageous for doing this hard thing, and you deserve your own love and support.  Even if you can't access it all the time, even just little dusting extra might help take the edge off the acute pain of withdrawal.  ❤️

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Alanmane
I would like to know how you reduced effexor, it seems that you did not use 10% ...

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Ladywingnut
8 hours ago, Alanmane said:

I would like to know how you reduced effexor, it seems that you did not use 10% ...

 

 

I’m not quite sure what you mean by using 10%, but I just reduced chunks at a time and waited until I got used to it. For going from 300mg to 75mg that was basically just 75mg each reduction (I think?! It’s been a while. It might have been 37.5). I then hovered on 37.5 for over a year. Then I counted how many beads were in each 37.5 capsule and started removing a few of those, increasing the amount every few days. Once I was down to about 30 beads, I started using white sprinkles that looked nearly the same as the beads, and took the same number of white things, just reducing the number of effexor beads and raising the number of sprinkles. (So at the start it was 29 beads, one sprinkle, and at the end it was 1 bead, 29 sprinkles.) Once I was down to no effexor beads, I kept taking the sprinkles for several weeks.  

 

I did all of that on the theory that part of the reason these drugs have an effect on your brain is classical conditioning. My hope was that if I repeated the same behaviour every day (swallowing tiny white beads, then brushing my teeth, at the same sink at the same time), my brain would be slower to realise the drug was not present anymore, and so withdrawal would not be as acute. An important part of this, as I understand it, was to continue taking sprinkles even when there was no drug in them. 

 

Now, I can’t recommend this method as I’m not a doctor nor a scientist; I devised it based on reading books about classical conditioning and placebo effects etc. I don’t know whether my reduced withdrawal symptoms were the result of this method, or the result of cutting down in such teeny tiny increments over a period of around 8 months (the last cut from 10 beads to none were literally one bead fewer every 3-4 days. One bead is around 0.3mg). Probably it was a combo of both. 

 

But that’s what I did. :)

 

It helped to yield to the fact that withdrawal would be a loooong project, likely 1-2 years. For me, yielding to that felt better than trying to push myself through a rushed withdrawal again. 

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Alanmane

Hello! About the use of 10% I mean the method that is said in this forum that is useful, reduce 10% of the current dose every 4-6 weeks. Thank you for your explanation, I do not understand what you mean by sprinkling the truth (I translate everything since I do not write English), maybe it refers to effexor powder. In my 37.5mg capsules there are 140 pearls. Now I take 240 (64mg) and I am much better than in higher doses of effexor. I am a 26 year old boy who has been 3 years in this drug, I hope that my youth and relatively little time in effexor are a point in favor

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FarmGirlWorks
On 8/27/2017 at 8:33 PM, Ladywingnut said:

These were very micro, and it took doing this consciously (paper and pen) for a few days for me to get momentum, but I understand from the neuroscience POV that even just looking for enjoyable stuff helps your brain kickstart, even if you don't find anything.  So, it started with a tiny spark of a happy feeling seeing my dog lying in a sunbeam.  It helped to rewatch media that I had previously enjoyed, and really tune into the feelings in body and mind, even if they were just memories (for me it was Gilmore Girls and some standup that I had loved).

So this makes me feel better for binge-watching "Big Mouth" on Netflix several times -- I am helping my brain find happiness again! The rip on Garrison Keillor is definitely my "happy place." It's dark but whatever works.

 

 

On 8/27/2017 at 8:33 PM, Ladywingnut said:

I would say that my ability to orgasm improved as soon as I started to reduce the drugs, and almost exploded when I went off them completely.  The contrast would be between needing an especially heavy duty vibrator before, with no guarantees, versus orgasms within 2-3 minutes of touch now.  The orgasms are also more pleasurable than they were on the drugs; on the drugs they were a release of pressure but not always pleasurable.  However.  Sexual desire has not changed all that much.

OMG: thank you for this articulate description of female orgasm post-drugs. I wish it was just 2-3 minutes (I'm sure my partner does too) but able to do it and was not for the longest time. I have never been able to orgasm without a vibrator until now. There has not always been drugs but fear, anxiety, depression, dysfunctional attitude about sex due to childhood sexual rape/molestation and then a lifetime of believing there was something very, very wrong with me and I had to hide it. Just reserved Nagoski's book at the library.

 

On 7/15/2018 at 4:39 PM, Ladywingnut said:

 In terms of quality of life - I have secured paid writing and consulting gigs, both of which feel GOOD TO DO, which I still find astonishing (to my mind work was always supposed to be drudgery).  I have enough capacity to work part time on that stuff, and it is fulfilling and demonstrably helps others, which is great.

There is hope! I so look forward to having more concentration than a gnat (no offense to gnats).

 

On 7/15/2018 at 4:39 PM, Ladywingnut said:

To everyone else going through withdrawal - it is a super hard thing.  I have learned in this journey that when you are going through a super hard thing, it is important not to beat yourself up when you find the super hard thing super hard.  It is important to be kind to yourself, and show yourself compassion.  You are courageous for doing this hard thing, and you deserve your own love and support.  Even if you can't access it all the time, even just little dusting extra might help take the edge off the acute pain of withdrawal.  ❤️

Much ❤️ to you for coming back and encouraging us.

 

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Ladywingnut
40 minutes ago, Alanmane said:

Hello! About the use of 10% I mean the method that is said in this forum that is useful, reduce 10% of the current dose every 4-6 weeks. Thank you for your explanation, I do not understand what you mean by sprinkling the truth (I translate everything since I do not write English), maybe it refers to effexor powder. In my 37.5mg capsules there are 140 pearls. Now I take 240 (64mg) and I am much better than in higher doses of effexor. I am a 26 year old boy who has been 3 years in this drug, I hope that my youth and relatively little time in effexor are a point in favor

 

Oh sorry!  That would be confusing.  Sprinkles are sugar decorations used on cakes.  They look like the pearls you are talking about.  :)  I have attached a picture.

 

That is so great that you feel you are doing better!  I feel so happy for you. ❤️ 

 

Please let me know if I can make anything else clearer.

 

 

710-773_1.jpg

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Ladywingnut
26 minutes ago, FarmGirlWorks said:

So this makes me feel better for binge-watching "Big Mouth" on Netflix several times -- I am helping my brain find happiness again! The rip on Garrison Keillor is definitely my "happy place." It's dark but whatever works.

 

 

DEFINITELY.  :D

 

Aw I am glad sexuality is becoming easier for you.  It is terrible to think that on top of all of that experience you get that layer of shame and sense of defectiveness when you are neither defective nor worthy of shame.  I am so so glad that you are finding that stuff easier.  I still have so much fear and threat around sexual stuff and it makes my heart feel all full whenever I hear of other people who have suffered sexual assault finding their way back to healthy, pleasurable sexuality.  I am sure Emily's book will help even more.  :D

 

Yay, keep trucking effexor-withdrawers.  You are doing a big, hard, important thing, and your brain will go against you sometimes, but I see you and know the truth.  You are all great. ❤️ 

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Alanmane
18 minutes ago, Ladywingnut said:

 

¡Oh, lo siento! Eso sería confuso. Espolvorear son adornos de azúcar utilizados en pasteles. Se parecen a las perlas de las que estás hablando.  :)  He adjuntado una foto.

 

¡Eso es tan bueno que sientes que estás mejorando! Me siento muy feliz por ti. ❤️ 

 

Por favor, avíseme si puedo aclarar algo más.

 

 

710-773_1.jpg

Now I understand, he used placebo and tried to cheat his brain. I think something very clever!

 
Quieor thank you for responding so fast, can I ask you something? Since I reduce effexor I feel that my memory and concentration, creation of ideas, imagination ... They are very good. Did the same thing happen to him? I have always had a good memory and imagination and now it frustrates me to feel that it is weakened, I do not think my reduction is rapid (150mg to 64mg in 7 months), even though it feels that it must be withdrawal or that my mind is getting used to less drug.
 
I feel good asking these questions to people who have lived the same. We are very, very strong people.

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Ladywingnut
22 hours ago, Alanmane said:

Now I understand, he used placebo and tried to cheat his brain. I think something very clever!

 
Quieor thank you for responding so fast, can I ask you something? Since I reduce effexor I feel that my memory and concentration, creation of ideas, imagination ... They are very good. Did the same thing happen to him? I have always had a good memory and imagination and now it frustrates me to feel that it is weakened, I do not think my reduction is rapid (150mg to 64mg in 7 months), even though it feels that it must be withdrawal or that my mind is getting used to less drug.
 
I feel good asking these questions to people who have lived the same. We are very, very strong people.

 

 

Yes, my creativity exploded after I withdrew from the medication! I planned a whole TV series and wrote songs 😆 That intense feeling of creativity went away quickly, but I can see that I have much more access to creativity now than I did when I was taking the medication. I did a lot of writing work when I was on the medication and I do more now. I find now that writing is easier, and I do not get blocked as often when I try to write. I hope this keeps being true for you too! 

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Alanmane
7 minutes ago, Ladywingnut said:

 

 

Sí, mi creatividad explotó después de que me retiré de la medicación! Planifiqué toda una serie de televisión y escribí canciones . Esa intensa sensación de creatividad desapareció rápidamente, pero puedo ver que ahora tengo mucho más acceso a la creatividad que cuando estaba tomando el medicamento. Hice muchos trabajos de escritura cuando estaba tomando la medicación y ahora hago más. Ahora encuentro que escribir es más fácil y no me bloquean tan a menudo cuando intento escribir. Espero que esto siga siendo verdad para ti también! 

I am glad that you recover your creativity, I am a very creative person and lately I do not feel this way but I know it will come back, even so I continue to draw (Instagram: nausea_artx), I hope that it continues creating and having original ideas, that moves away the depression and the boredom. At the moment I do not force myself and I accept my current state which is muhho better than months ago.

 
Regards!

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Ladywingnut
33 minutes ago, Alanmane said:

I am glad that you recover your creativity, I am a very creative person and lately I do not feel this way but I know it will come back, even so I continue to draw (Instagram: nausea_artx), I hope that it continues creating and having original ideas, that moves away the depression and the boredom. At the moment I do not force myself and I accept my current state which is muhho better than months ago.

 
Regards!

Me too!  I am very creative.  One of the hardest things about the medication was that it felt like my creativity was much less.  Your approach, being kind to yourself and allowing yourself just to be, I found this to be the best way to be.  Compassion for self is extremely useful in helping to feel more ok, even while you are suffering.  Good work on continuing to draw when you can; I am sure that even doing a little bit of creative work helps. ❤️

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