Locke: Introducing me. Stopping cipramil / benzos

[Locke]

Hi everyone

 

first i like to thank every member of this forum for al their information and Personal story's. Second, excuse me for the incorrect english. It is not my native language. 

 

Long story.. and really dont knie where to begin. Had mental problems early in life. Diagnosed depression and ptss. At 18y. Psychiatrist wanted me on ad. IT made me angry, so i left. ANd went on With my life. Age 28. After giving birth to my first child. Thingms went wrong, i got very anxious. Al kinds of crazy thoughts about all things could happen with my baby. After 6 months colours faded. I started noticing things. Startdd hallucinating. Paranoid thoughts.. etc.  but still on my feet. Working.. untill my second pregnancy. I collapsed. Deep depression. 20 weeks pregnant started with zoloft 25 Mg. Upped to 50 mg. The only thing iT did for me was giving Some energy to get on my feet. And anxiety dissappeared. Very slowly i crawled out of depression with the help of therapy. Had terrible side effects of zoloft zo tried to taper a little off with the liquid. I couldnt. I got to 10 Mg. At 1 point i called my psychiatrist in agony i could not take iT anymore. He suggested cipramil. So i switched to 10 Mg cipramil. 4 drops. It felt like switching from speed to pot, but for depression and anxiety cipramil it did work just a little bit. 

Ever since i started using ad i wanted to come of. I lost count of the times i tried to come off it.  Currently i use 1 Mg cipramil. And occasionaly alprazolam/temazepam/oxazepam . Appr 1 x week.

 

 

 

 

 

[Locke]

The reason i joinrd this forum is because i m seeking advice, i am tapering cipramil but i keep having dysregalutions or psychotic like symptoms. Ad's never did anything for those symptoms.. thats where i use benzo's for. To calm me down when slowly loosing reality. But they are extrmely addictive. And dont want to be dependant. Are there any alternatives ? 

[mammaP]

Hi Locke, welcome to SA.  It is good that you have found us, we can help you to get off cipramil safely so that you will be abkle to stay off. Many times people try and have to go back on because they become sick with withdrawal. Doctors usually say that it is the illness returning but that is now proven to be wrong. 

 

i am tapering cipramil but i keep having dysregalutions or psychotic like symptoms

Can you tell us how you have got from 10mg to 1mg of cipramil, and how long it has taken? The dysregulation and psychotic like symptoms suggest that you are tapering too fast, but don't worry that can be rectified. 

Also when you have used the benzos? This is VERY important because they can cause some nasty side effects but we need to know exactly when you take them.

It will also help if you can tell us your symptom pattern if there is one. For example.. do you feel worse after taking cipramil or better after it? When you take benzos how do you feel before and after?  When we have the answers we will be able to work out what will be the best thing for you to do. You can be assured that we NEVER recommend other drugs! 

 

It would be good if you can fill in your signature with your drug and tapering history. Just the drugs and doses, start and stop dates plus how you have reduced the dose while tapering. This link will take you to the signature box, just fill it in and click save. 

 

http://survivingantidepressants.org/settings/signature/

[Locke]

when reducing dose i get all energized, sleep is bad, lots of dreaming, anxious thoughts. negative thinking. after about 3/4 weeks it fades  and it starts getting better. and eventually i can see i feel better with lesser dose.  

 

but the psychotic symptoms stay. when i am stressed, and/or not enough sleep. they are the reason i started therapy 5 years ago, because i was hallucinating, and i was scared of it. i use benzos to control the stress and sleep. 

in september i have an appointment with a new psychiatrist. i quit the first one because i was stable on cipramil. he told me never to come of because everytime i tried to taper it went wrong and got depressed again. but i want to do without. ad makes me feel bad and not myself. i get very arroused cannot concentrate on normal dose. when i got t 1 drop i could concentrate again, and didnt have the urge eany more to move around or the constant feeling of being nervous. 

 

so what it is right now, the ad's dont do anything for me. i am not depressed anymore so dont need them, but the initial problem stays. when im stressed i loose it. i cant function normally anymore. 

i did terribly wrong when first tapering, i know by now. i think i am doing it right this time. just small steps, and further down when stable. right now it is months before i take another step. its just i am scared i cannot go without benzo's. 

[Locke]

Update

 

on 0.7 Mg now 

not sleeping Well 

trying melatonin, passiflora, Mirtazapine, quetiapine. For sleep.

 

i dont use them every night. 

 

Feeling depressed. 

 

I omly tried the Mirtazapine 1 time for sleep 2,5mg. And i felt sort of high next day. Very Nice. music was super intense. Rebound not So Nice . Crying and feeling miserable.

quetiapine works good at 3 Mg i chop a 12,5 Mg pull in 4. It relieves the depressed mood next day. Just no feelings at all..

 

anybody has used these low doses for sleep?

 

[Locke]

0,5mg. 4 days know..

 

having a lot of pain in my upper back neck And arm. And tired.

 

just hanging on. 

 

 

[Locke]

been totally off citalopram for a week now. it is hard, beeing very emotional, and dizzy.   but its oke i can handle it.  

[Ali4]

So what drugs are you on right now? Ali 

[Locke]

8 hours ago, Ali4 said:

So what drugs are you on right now? Ali 

I only use Seroquel When needed. For sleep 3mg. 

Are you tapering citalopram? I cant See your signature.