MiguelFreeman: question about Lexapro

[MiguelFreeman]

On 02/11/2017 at 10:59 AM, ChessieCat said:

That's good that you are able to make your own liquid.  Make sure that you do it the same way every time.

 

Also remember to keep notes on paper of your symptoms.  This can help you to see improvements or things that worsen that you may not feel.

hi i have been stabilizing for 2 weeks almost I fell a lot stable than before but today something happen I had this flashback of me hurting my shelf or killing my shelf but that only happen when I was shopping for a bread knife that we needed at home and for some reason I had that flashback, they happen before when I was on the early weeks of my drop to 9 mg and even before that when I was trying to stabilize after the CT from 20 mg  

I am confused I don't know what they are 

are they intrusive thoughts 

or suicidal thoughts

because I don't think of killing my shelf but get these flashbacks,  it's like something war veterans get from PTSD but the stupid part is that those moments never happen 

if you could give me an explanation of what they are it would help me deal whit them a lot better 

[MiguelFreeman]

On 12/12/2017 at 4:37 AM, manymoretodays said:

I'll just keep following you Miguel.  And happy to comment here and there.

 

And sorry that your Mom is difficult right now.  Usually it's the kids hitting up(trying stuff in) their parents medicine cabinets here in the States.   

 

Yes, sounds like Deise is doing okay, and then someone else new here from Portugal I noticed.

 

Hopefully I can send you some useful links and stuff soon too........I must work on my techno skills.......as well as support some more of the newer folks.  Like you've been doing.

 

Good day here, for me too.........

 

Best,

mmt

today on good thing happen i gonna start working 1 mouth before the time it was supposed to start  that pretty good lifted my right up i was feeling a lot down today but it lifter me a lot 

[manymoretodays]

Yay......that's great Miguel.  Hopefully another random burst of happiness?    Congratulations.

 

 

[joy2730]

I think the thoughts are your brain trying to do its own housekeeping and sort thoughts out.  As long as you recognise them as thoughts only you are safe.  If you loose insight that can become dangerous.  Can you share this with anyone close to you?

 

Joy

[MiguelFreeman]

28 minutes ago, joy2730 said:

I think the thoughts are your brain trying to do its own housekeeping and sort thoughts out.  As long as you recognise them as thoughts only you are safe.  If you loose insight that can become dangerous.  Can you share this with anyone close to you?

 

Joy

I have speak Whit my mother's she had battle alot of depression Whit only a benzo and she understands and keeps me in check they are just thought and I Know that it is from whitdraw it's hard but the idea of giving up and failure and to be part of a statistics it's impossible rather live in hell then end it all + I only restated 4 mouths ago at 10 mg from a CT from 20 mg Lexapro and I am at 8.75mg Soo I did go fast gonna hold but I am stabilizing quit fast camparred to the circumstances my problem is going on YouTube watching the error story's from psychiatric torture like ECT and bullsh*t like that it does not help because I get fear from it

[manymoretodays]

On 12/14/2017 at 1:51 PM, MiguelFreeman said:

hi i have been stabilizing for 2 weeks almost I fell a lot stable than before but today something happen I had this flashback of me hurting my shelf or killing my shelf but that only happen when I was shopping for a bread knife that we needed at home and for some reason I had that flashback, they happen before when I was on the early weeks of my drop to 9 mg and even before that when I was trying to stabilize after the CT from 20 mg  

I am confused I don't know what they are 

are they intrusive thoughts 

or suicidal thoughts

because I don't think of killing my shelf but get these flashbacks,  it's like something war veterans get from PTSD but the stupid part is that those moments never happen 

if you could give me an explanation of what they are it would help me deal whit them a lot better

 

I think that yes, you could call these kind of thoughts "intrusive thoughts".........the way they just pop up like flashblacks or like PTSD.   Easily triggered as well from input from what you watch or read sometimes.  Keep doing your best to avoid those triggers on youtube. 

 

And what Joy said IS important........that you do recognize the difference between thoughts and action?   I think that you can call the thoughts alone "ideation" ..........as well as "intrusive" thoughts.  It's good you can talk with your Mom about this stuff.  It might be good to have another resource as well........such a phone number of someone, or an agency that you could call, if you do feel that you might cause any harm to yourself.

 

So, it's been 12 days now since you dropped 2.5% of your Lexapro?  Are you going to keep holding at 8.75 mg.  before you do another slide down?  You might consider this.  In light of starting the job sooner than you thought.........what do you think?

 

Do you start the new job next week then?

 

Best Miguel.  Love, peace, healing/in recovery, and growth,

 

mmt

 

nice pick up Joy..........thank you.........and kind of cool.........Miguel, you've had a visit from Joy! 

 

 

Edited December 16, 2017 by manymoretodays
additional thoughts and comment

[manymoretodays]

Hi Miguel,

 

Updates?  Concerns? 

 

Thanks,

Best,

mmt

 

So here is a further explanation of the BMslide as given to another member in a thread Miguel.  I think this is something you were asking about.

 

Hey Jack--  It's a method of lessening the impact of a 10% (or any size for that matter) drop by spearding (I hate this spell checker) it out over four weeks. To do a 10% taper a person drops 2.5% a week for four weeks and then adds on another 2 week hold.  This gives a total or 10% every 6 weeks which is close to our recommended taper rate.  By doing smaller drops all the symptoms don't hit at once and are often much milder than doing the whole 10% at once.  I came up with the idea at the beginning of my taper and used it successfully the entire way down.  Since then we have had a large number of members start using it or variations with very good results.  If this sounds interesting, when you're ready to taper I'll help you get things set up.

 

Brassmonkey

 

 

Edited December 18, 2017 by manymoretodays
added quote with brassmonkeyslide method

[MiguelFreeman]

11 hours ago, manymoretodays said:

Hi Miguel,

 

Updates?  Concerns? 

 

Thanks,

Best,

mmt

 

So here is a further explanation of the BMslide as given to another member in a thread Miguel.  I think this is something you were asking about.

 

Hey Jack--  It's a method of lessening the impact of a 10% (or any size for that matter) drop by spearding (I hate this spell checker) it out over four weeks. To do a 10% taper a person drops 2.5% a week for four weeks and then adds on another 2 week hold.  This gives a total or 10% every 6 weeks which is close to our recommended taper rate.  By doing smaller drops all the symptoms don't hit at once and are often much milder than doing the whole 10% at once.  I came up with the idea at the beginning of my taper and used it successfully the entire way down.  Since then we have had a large number of members start using it or variations with very good results.  If this sounds interesting, when you're ready to taper I'll help you get things set up.

 

Brassmonkey

 

 

ok ty my numbers on the diary are getting better and better

 

i was confused that I thought the objective was to get no symptoms but now I understand that its normal to get symptoms but the best its to taper in a way that they are mild, I was confused on the method of brass monkey but ty for your post now I understand .

 

it has been 14 days since the last drop of 2.5 % from 9 mg to 8.75  but I have changed the med time and prob will have to change it again since it's not letting me sleep at night,

I will start taking it at 06:00 am and stick with it since it has been 14 days, and my numbers are going up, it is a good idea to do the next drop (I have started a new job and it's my first day so keep that in mind ).  They symptoms are getting milder and I realize the intrusive thoughts are week now, and I can deal with them very easy, like the suicidal intrusive thoughts are casual .. and I deal with them fine.  they are annoying but they are just thoughts 

 

waiting for more opinions on this so I can make my next move 

 

even how I deal with anxiety when i get sick its getting a lot better.  its just casual for me now 

Edited December 18, 2017 by manymoretodays
spacing, spelling

[MiguelFreeman]

23 hours ago, manymoretodays said:

Hi Miguel,

 

Updates?  Concerns? 

 

Thanks,

Best,

mmt

 

So here is a further explanation of the BMslide as given to another member in a thread Miguel.  I think this is something you were asking about.

 

Hey Jack--  It's a method of lessening the impact of a 10% (or any size for that matter) drop by spearding (I hate this spell checker) it out over four weeks. To do a 10% taper a person drops 2.5% a week for four weeks and then adds on another 2 week hold.  This gives a total or 10% every 6 weeks which is close to our recommended taper rate.  By doing smaller drops all the symptoms don't hit at once and are often much milder than doing the whole 10% at once.  I came up with the idea at the beginning of my taper and used it successfully the entire way down.  Since then we have had a large number of members start using it or variations with very good results.  If this sounds interesting, when you're ready to taper I'll help you get things set up.

 

Brassmonkey

 

 

Hi I love my new job we are a classic car body shop we work Whit Lamborghini Ferrari etc they peapol are great , i.am considering droping to 8.5 mg it has been 16 days almost I did make a change in the time I take the drug from 18:00 to 06:00 am on the job I had only one or two introsive thoughts that's was a huge improvement and a very little Nero fear but well it was my first day .I am considering to make a drop before I am feeling better and the acid reflux side effect from Lexapro is kinda pissy me off BTW the introsive thoughts were those though of harming my shelf but they didn't last not even 3min I used the CBT and bamm they gone . Still fixing my sleep to my new schedule . 

What's your opinions

Ty

Miguel 

[manymoretodays]

That sounds okay Miguel.  Either/or wait and see how the change in time of your dosage affects you........I'll leave the decision up to you. 

 

Awesome on the new job and cool cars.  I'm glad you like it too!

 

  Make sure you wear a mask if you do custom painting..........the fumes might be difficult.  Especially in W/D.

 

That's my opinion.

 

Love, peace, healing/inrecovery, and growth,

mmt

[MiguelFreeman]

I was Soo dizzy when I was removing paint from a old lotto's we used a very active pair remover

[MiguelFreeman]

15 hours ago, manymoretodays said:

That sounds okay Miguel.  Either/or wait and see how the change in time of your dosage affects you........I'll leave the decision up to you. 

 

Awesome on the new job and cool cars.  I'm glad you like it too!

 

  Make sure you wear a mask if you do custom painting..........the fumes might be difficult.  Especially in W/D.

 

That's my opinion.

 

Love, peace, healing/inrecovery, and growth,

mmt

I have decreased to 8.5 jejus I am Soo tired the job is intense but mostly because I was 3 y at home only working out 3 days a week and tons of hours in computer now I am always up and working on metal my legs hurt like hell from all the hours up but I love it  I am getting a bit stressed because I don't wona fail but it's just me worrying 2 much . Need to start meditation again I stopped for 2 days.

[MiguelFreeman]

On 19/12/2017 at 3:54 AM, manymoretodays said:

That sounds okay Miguel.  Either/or wait and see how the change in time of your dosage affects you........I'll leave the decision up to you. 

 

Awesome on the new job and cool cars.  I'm glad you like it too!

 

  Make sure you wear a mask if you do custom painting..........the fumes might be difficult.  Especially in W/D.

 

That's my opinion.

 

Love, peace, healing/inrecovery, and growth,

mmt

Hey I noticed some muscle twitching on the side of my limp I have had this twitching before like when I reinstated I had them is it something to worry about

[manymoretodays]

20 hours ago, MiguelFreeman said:

Hey I noticed some muscle twitching on the side of my limp I have had this twitching before like when I reinstated I had them is it something to worry about

 

Hopefully just a transient thing Miguel.  Not uncommon during W/D.

[MiguelFreeman]

3 hours ago, manymoretodays said:

 

Hopefully just a transient thing Miguel.  Not uncommon during W/D.

I always had this while taking ssri it stopped and then came back then stops but it whitdraw is common so 

[MiguelFreeman]

Because of work I was 2 tired to meditate or right on the diary but we have 1 week vacation so time to get back on track

[MiguelFreeman]

On 22/12/2017 at 3:50 PM, manymoretodays said:

 

Hopefully just a transient thing Miguel.  Not uncommon during W/D.

 

hi Now I am on a small vacation for the holidays from work 

in work, I had a lot of attention, memory lapses I have had them before meds seems like I need to work on 

I did do a cut to 8.5 on 19/12/17 they have been mild but today I am getting hit whit a bit more Nero-fear (kinda strange like half depression half feeling fear )

and some Intrusive thoughts I know its normal from withdrawal. 

they are like fear + depressive state + anger (strange has hell)

I am starting to see the Padron 

my boss has told me that I do lose attention sometimes like I am doing one thing I frizzed and comeback  any advice on how I can improve that,

+ I am a lot tired mentally 

I don't wanna lose this opportunity 

the intrusive thoughts are not that frequent  or intense has before but kinda annoying like aways 

they are the usual suicidal ideation but they are soo short-lived and I immediately  counter-attack whit CBT trick of changing the meaning and acceptance because I know it's from withdrawal 

it's annoying I cant drink and have fun,,, but well someday I will  now i just have to improve my meditation again because of work I was too tired even to right on the withdrawal journal I have 

I am just here cuz you all support me and I love you all for that 

and one day I will be a very active admin or moderator or helper so can contribute to help others.

 

Love

MiguelFreeMan

[manymoretodays]

For the focus issues, you might try some "Mindfulness" exercises and practice.   I've had good results using that.  I thought I could copy you an easy practice from another site........that I just found........but, alas, no such luck.

 

Do a google search, and some short and simple starter ideas will come up.  We may have something here, on site, as well. 

 

Get some of that journaling, done, as well........it may prove to be really helpful to you.......to know how it all goes, after each small taper you do, and then how long the acute W/D lasts.  So, you may be able to work around it better.

 

Happy Holidays Miguel!

 

Love, peace, healing/in recovery, and growth,

 

manymoretodays

 

 

 

 

[MiguelFreeman]

Just now, manymoretodays said:

For the focus issues, you might try some "Mindfulness" exercises and practice.   I've had good results using that.  I thought I could copy you an easy practice from another site........that I just found........but, alas, no such luck.

 

Do a google search, and some short and simple starter ideas will come up.  We may have something here, on site, as well. 

 

Get some of that journaling, done, as well........it may prove to be really helpful to you.......to know how it all goes, after each small taper you do, and then how long the acute W/D lasts.  So, you may be able to work around it better.

 

Happy Holidays Miguel!

 

Love, peace, healing/in recovery, and growth,

 

manymoretodays

 

 

 

 

ye ty yesterday I stopped vaping because I was having a lot of mental fog and pain in the head but now it all went south terrible Nero - fear and suicidal intrusive thoughts the same has before I think its related to the stress I was because of being warned that I lost focus a lot need to restart meditation I stopped on the past week because I was 2 tired to even right on my journal 

I need to find easy mindfulness guide because in WT its like I went from a very intelligent person to a dumb idiot ... 

[manymoretodays]

It's only been 6 days since you last dropped your dose Miguel, so I expect it will get at least a bit better soon.  Can you get your most recent drop into your signature?

 

What I often do myself is........focus, focus on whatever is next that needs to be done.  And observe with each step along the way.

 

My example for right now:  I need to shovel the snow.  Then.....coat, hat, mittens, and get shovel.  Love my mittens....  Great shovel too.  Then......I go out and enjoy.   Every movement, every snowflake.   It's beautiful out there right now.  All the peace and joy of the season.

 

Best,

mmt

Edited December 25, 2017 by manymoretodays
added an example

[TedDykle]

Miguel,

 

I want to congratulate you on your progress so far in getting off these drugs.  You are a young man with a whole lifetime of happiness ahead of you.

 

Yes, things may get lumpy for a while, it's just part of the game.  But you seem to understand this and are mindful of the intrusive/destructive thoughts as they occur.  For me, that was half the battle.

 

CT from 20mg lexapro is a rough ride indeed and I understand the thinking behind reinstatement, though I never did it.  Call me tough or stupid, it's done.  And yes, I still have problems because of it and I regret waiting until age 50 to do it.  So much lost time.

 

Your new job will do wonders for WD if you'll let yourself give yourself credit for the good that you accomplish.  A win, no matter how small, is still a win.  Take the time to feel that sense of accomplishment and build on it.

 

My replies seem to be the death nail for people's threads.  I hope that's not that case for this one.  I wish you all the best.

[MiguelFreeman]

4 minutes ago, TedDykle said:

Miguel,

 

I want to congratulate you on your progress so far in getting off these drugs.  You are a young man with a whole lifetime of happiness ahead of you.

 

Yes, things may get lumpy for a while, it's just part of the game.  But you seem to understand this and are mindful of the intrusive/destructive thoughts as they occur.  For me, that was half the battle.

 

CT from 20mg lexapro is a rough ride indeed and I understand the thinking behind reinstatement, though I never did it.  Call me tough or stupid, it's done.  And yes, I still have problems because of it and I regret waiting until age 50 to do it.  So much lost time.

 

Your new job will do wonders for WD if you'll let yourself give yourself credit for the good that you accomplish.  A win, no matter how small, is still a win.  Take the time to feel that sense of accomplishment and build on it.

 

My replies seem to be the death nail for people's threads.  I hope that's not that case for this one.  I wish you all the best.

3

ty for you replies I know I have accomplished so much in so little time some times its hard but I always find strength in me, and I can identify what is happening to me quite fast but your know  that feeling of being alone some times deceives has I know what I must work on (Mindfulness, acceptance, and knowing the odds are in my favor ) i have done this that most in here wood dream off but for some reason I don't give credit to my shelf I just ended a mindfulness session and i feel so relax and calm that i can understand that its all thoughts and they come and go and that what I am going truly it's just an illusion caused by the medication I have detected that I might need to chill on the taper just until I get my work life together will stay at 8.5 until the acute Wd symptoms pass and I fell comfortable to drop again, I now taper based on what I feel not on time I have been tricked by how good I fell on work until my boss told me what he was seeing was my problem and it was just lack of focus and he said I

worked allot compared to all the apprentices he had, I even volunteered to help him on his car just because I wanna to learn the most I cant and he didn't even ask me I just offered and that was a very good move by me, I need to stop worrying soo much

[TedDykle]

" I need to stop worrying soo much " 

 

You hit the nail on the head.  Things are going to be what they are going to be.  You have some influence on that, but I hope I'm not out of line saying that you are along for the ride at this point.  Do the best you can everyday and try to find that feeling of accomplishment.  Doing more than what is expected of you is always a good thing.

 

I don't know if you feel comfortable talking to your boss about your situation.  My boss is a good friend of over 20 years with a son struggling from much of what I have been through and explaining what is happening to me was a huge relief.  He knows I have off days and can look past them.

[MiguelFreeman]

28 minutes ago, TedDykle said:

" I need to stop worrying soo much " 

 

You hit the nail on the head.  Things are going to be what they are going to be.  You have some influence on that, but I hope I'm not out of line saying that you are along for the ride at this point.  Do the best you can everyday and try to find that feeling of accomplishment.  Doing more than what is expected of you is always a good thing.

 

I don't know if you feel comfortable talking to your boss about your situation.  My boss is a good friend of over 20 years with a son struggling from much of what I have been through and explaining what is happening to me was a huge relief.  He knows I have off days and can look past them.

I did explain to my boss he 2 have taken psychiatric meds + methadone and he CT them and had a horrible time but he is kind of an old-school guy he just told me I have to let the fear of withdrawal go and just stop but ofc that would end very bad 

they only thing new i am experiencing is like i am very tired mentally but its lifts and comes back 

[TedDykle]

1 minute ago, MiguelFreeman said:

I did explain to my boss he 2 have taken psychiatric meds + methadone and he CT them and had a horrible time but he is kind of an old-school guy he just told me I have to let the fear of withdrawal go and just stop but ofc that would end very bad 

they only thing new i am experiencing is like i am very tired mentally but its lifts and comes back 

Even though he's old school, it sounds like he understands what you're up against.  Take some comfort in that.   Maybe he's had enough time to "recover"?  I fully appreciate that CT does not work for everyone and he probably does too.

 

Hang in there.

 

 

[MiguelFreeman]

23 minutes ago, TedDykle said:

Even though he's old school, it sounds like he understands what you're up against.  Take some comfort in that.   Maybe he's had enough time to "recover"?  I fully appreciate that CT does not work for everyone and he probably does too.

 

Hang in there.

 

 

 

I am noticing that the Withdrawal symptoms from tapering are changing most of them I know  they are (Mood swings, intrusive thoughts, Nero-anger, Nero-fear, headaches, and mental drowsiness 

if would be great if I had some to talk to by  voice 

[MiguelFreeman]

On 12/12/2017 at 4:37 AM, manymoretodays said:

I'll just keep following you Miguel.  And happy to comment here and there.

 

And sorry that your Mom is difficult right now.  Usually it's the kids hitting up(trying stuff in) their parents medicine cabinets here in the States.   

 

Yes, sounds like Deise is doing okay, and then someone else new here from Portugal I noticed.

 

Hopefully I can send you some useful links and stuff soon too........I must work on my techno skills.......as well as support some more of the newer folks.  Like you've been doing.

 

Good day here, for me too.........

 

Best,

mmt

Well the Nero emotions are hitting harder than yesterday , Yesterday was more of intrusive suicidal thoughts  even do i had some today but jejus this thing was not supposed to hit me like this i think the stress of work is making it hard 

[manymoretodays]

It could be.  That the stress of working is hard.  Stress can be magnified.  Are you still off work for holiday break though?  Because sometimes it can be the stress of staying home.  Ironic, isn't it?   I mean give yourself credit too, and know it may take at least 6 weeks of the new job, before you even feel half comfortable there. 

 

I added an example to my last post of my own simple use of Mindfulness/staying in the moment.........also sometimes just observing, describing, and then participating works too......first just observing yourself and the situation or environment.  Then describing it all......without judgement of any kind.  And then doing what you have to do.......what is often right in front of you to do.  The obvious.

 

I do know when the neurofear/anxiety hits for me, it can be hard to write much.  At those times.......lately,  I just repeat in my mind a new mantra that I have.  It goes like this "chop wood, carry water, seek enlightenment".  Over and over until I am calm again.

 

With the intrusive thoughts it may be best to just try some distraction techniques.  Simple stuff.  Adult coloring books.  Some of them are beautiful.  Try some poetry writing or haiku type stuff.........first line is 5 syllables, second line is 7 syllables, and the third line is 5 syllables.  Do you sew or do any crafts?

 

Thank you for updating your signature.  It looks like you are taking the Omega 3's.  Have you tried any of the magnesium by mouth or via Epsom salt baths?  The baths really help me both with the body tension and mental stuff.  I do some orally once in awhile and they help with "just relaxing".    If unsure please go and read on up before purchasing anything.  Just do the "magnesiumsupplements surviving antidepressants.org" way of a search.  I'm still working on my linking abilities.

 

Have a good evening? Miguel.  I am just doing my morning right now.

 

Best,

mmt

Edited December 26, 2017 by manymoretodays

[MiguelFreeman]

1 hour ago, manymoretodays said:

It could be.  That the stress of working is hard.  Stress can be magnified.  Are you still off work for holiday break though?  Because sometimes it can be the stress of staying home.  Ironic, isn't it?   I mean give yourself credit too, and know it may take at least 6 weeks of the new job, before you even feel half comfortable there. 

 

I added an example to my last post of my own simple use of Mindfulness/staying in the moment.........also sometimes just observing, describing, and then participating works too......first just observing yourself and the situation or environment.  Then describing it all......without judgement of any kind.  And then doing what you have to do.......what is often right in front of you to do.  The obvious.

 

I do know when the neurofear/anxiety hits for me, it can be hard to write much.  At those times.......lately,  I just repeat in my mind a new mantra that I have.  It goes like this "chop wood, carry water, seek enlightenment".  Over and over until I am calm again.

 

With the intrusive thoughts it may be best to just try some distraction techniques.  Simple stuff.  Adult coloring books.  Some of them are beautiful.  Try some poetry writing or haiku type stuff.........first line is 5 syllables, second line is 7 syllables, and the third line is 5 syllables.  Do you sew or do any crafts?

 

Thank you for updating your signature.  It looks like you are taking the Omega 3's.  Have you tried any of the magnesium by mouth or via Epsom salt baths?  The baths really help me both with the body tension and mental stuff.  I do some orally once in awhile and they help with "just relaxing".    If unsure please go and read on up before purchasing anything.  Just do the "magnesiumsupplements surviving antidepressants.org" way of a search.  I'm still working on my linking abilities.

 

Have a good evening? Miguel.  I am just doing my morning right now.

 

Best,

mmt

I Cried for the first time in soo LONG it just felt soo good i ain't giving up i cried soo much listening to this  

 

[MiguelFreeman]

5 hours ago, manymoretodays said:

It could be.  That the stress of working is hard.  Stress can be magnified.  Are you still off work for holiday break though?  Because sometimes it can be the stress of staying home.  Ironic, isn't it?   I mean give yourself credit too, and know it may take at least 6 weeks of the new job, before you even feel half comfortable there. 

 

I added an example to my last post of my own simple use of Mindfulness/staying in the moment.........also sometimes just observing, describing, and then participating works too......first just observing yourself and the situation or environment.  Then describing it all......without judgement of any kind.  And then doing what you have to do.......what is often right in front of you to do.  The obvious.

 

I do know when the neurofear/anxiety hits for me, it can be hard to write much.  At those times.......lately,  I just repeat in my mind a new mantra that I have.  It goes like this "chop wood, carry water, seek enlightenment".  Over and over until I am calm again.

 

With the intrusive thoughts it may be best to just try some distraction techniques.  Simple stuff.  Adult coloring books.  Some of them are beautiful.  Try some poetry writing or haiku type stuff.........first line is 5 syllables, second line is 7 syllables, and the third line is 5 syllables.  Do you sew or do any crafts?

 

Thank you for updating your signature.  It looks like you are taking the Omega 3's.  Have you tried any of the magnesium by mouth or via Epsom salt baths?  The baths really help me both with the body tension and mental stuff.  I do some orally once in awhile and they help with "just relaxing".    If unsure please go and read on up before purchasing anything.  Just do the "magnesiumsupplements surviving antidepressants.org" way of a search.  I'm still working on my linking abilities.

 

Have a good evening? Miguel.  I am just doing my morning right now.

 

Best,

mmt

I did not like this intrusive suicidal thought at all I need to hold but the question is for how long? shode I wait to see if I can keep the job and then taper or what?

[manymoretodays]

I would encourage you to HOLD Miguel.  It may be in your best interest for now.  When you have settled on in to the job, if it all works out okay..........then I think that may be a better time to resume tapering.  Can you hold for at least a month to 6 weeks?  As I just went back and reviewed your introduction here........you have done a lot of changes since arrival and indeed, are struggling.  To be expected somewhat.......yet it may be best to get your coping skills up to par, before going any further.  Does that sound okay to you?   It looks like you have tried before to go more quickly, and honestly, I think, in light of your job right now......... HOLD.  You are all the way down to 8.5mg. now.  I think that even if you don't keep the job, that you still might consider a good hold for 4-6 weeks. 

 

Did you start all 3 of your supplements at once on December 13th?  What is the Rhodiola Rosea(+ Rosavina)?  Usually, it's a good idea to try one new thing at a time, and journal, and see if it's tolerated okay.  We only recommend the Omega 3's and Magnesium as supplements here, as you may be aware. 

 

Have you found someone locally to talk with by phone or in person?  A supportive friend?  Is a therapist an option for you?  To do some of the CBT with or even Mindfulness practice with?  Do you have access to emergency numbers.......for just in case.......if it feels too difficult?  I mean this is an online site, and we can only do so much to support/advise/educate around your W/D. 

 

I just reviewed some of your earlier posts and recommendations.  Try and go back to page 2 in your journal and read some of the links ChessieCat and baroquep gave you and then really try, try to get something going on paper(or here) with the journaling.  That will help us, as well as you, with future tapering.   It will also help make you aware of trends.......when you are doing better, making progress, etc.   As well as what you need to work on as far as coping skills as well.

 

Are you still doing the homemade liquid and how is your measuring going?  That's important.  Did you decide to stay with the homemade liquid?

 

Love, peace, healing/inrecovery, and growth,

 

mmt

 

 

 

 

[MiguelFreeman]

No , rhadiola i started yesterday 26/12/17 I do have my family but I do have alot of ways to get out of that state like I did by watching  positive videos and success storys, I am doing journaling I only stopped journaling for 1 week because I was super tired of work and in that week I didn't meditate much , I am now getting my meditation times up and journaling every day and keeping track of my symptoms ,I am using homemade liquid I put 10ml and add the 10mg pill broken in half and then take the 8,5ml on the 0.5 part I use a insulin syringe I will put the number of suicide helpline on my journal but I don't think I will ever need it because I do all I can to change those thoughts,and yes I am still on Holidays vacation but I will help my boss in some works that he has tomorrow and a few more days ahead,  I will post more information when I get to my computer become cellphone keyboard are ****

 

 

[MiguelFreeman]

12 hours ago, manymoretodays said:

I would encourage you to HOLD Miguel.  It may be in your best interest for now.  When you have settled on in to the job, if it all works out okay..........then I think that may be a better time to resume tapering.  Can you hold for at least a month to 6 weeks?  As I just went back and reviewed your introduction here........you have done a lot of changes since arrival and indeed, are struggling.  To be expected somewhat.......yet it may be best to get your coping skills up to par, before going any further.  Does that sound okay to you?   It looks like you have tried before to go more quickly, and honestly, I think, in light of your job right now......... HOLD.  You are all the way down to 8.5mg. now.  I think that even if you don't keep the job, that you still might consider a good hold for 4-6 weeks. 

 

Did you start all 3 of your supplements at once on December 13th?  What is the Rhodiola Rosea(+ Rosavina)?  Usually, it's a good idea to try one new thing at a time, and journal, and see if it's tolerated okay.  We only recommend the Omega 3's and Magnesium as supplements here, as you may be aware. 

 

Have you found someone locally to talk with by phone or in person?  A supportive friend?  Is a therapist an option for you?  To do some of the CBT with or even Mindfulness practice with?  Do you have access to emergency numbers.......for just in case.......if it feels too difficult?  I mean this is an online site, and we can only do so much to support/advise/educate around your W/D. 

 

I just reviewed some of your earlier posts and recommendations.  Try and go back to page 2 in your journal and read some of the links ChessieCat and baroquep gave you and then really try, try to get something going on paper(or here) with the journaling.  That will help us, as well as you, with future tapering.   It will also help make you aware of trends.......when you are doing better, making progress, etc.   As well as what you need to work on as far as coping skills as well.

 

Are you still doing the homemade liquid and how is your measuring going?  That's important.  Did you decide to stay with the homemade liquid?

 

Love, peace, healing/inrecovery, and growth,

 

mmt

 

 

 

 

The introsive thoughts are alot less today but this was a wake-up call to hold and that the stress bites me in the ass today I was supposed to help my boss because I volunteered but I didn't event remember I am now in the the mentally that I do my best if they wanna give me the job ok others wise there are other jobs out there I need to take care of myself , the Introsive thoughts where intense for a while but they stopped in the early night. But I didn't even consider actually doing it that's a very good sign but it was hard but I know I can handle it , today they are alot less. But I need to take care . 

[manymoretodays]

23 hours ago, MiguelFreeman said:

No , rhadiola i started yesterday 26/12/17.

 

I do have my family but I do have a lot of ways to get out of that state like I did by watching  positive videos and success storys, I am doing journaling I only stopped journaling for 1 week because I was super tired of work and in that week I didn't meditate much , I am now getting my meditation times up and journaling every day and keeping track of my symptoms ,

 

I am using homemade liquid I put 10ml and add the 10mg pill broken in half and then take the 8,5ml on the 0.5 part I use a insulin syringe

 

I will put the number of suicide helpline on my journal but I don't think I will ever need it because I do all I can to change those thoughts,

 

and yes I am still on Holidays vacation but I will help my boss in some works that he has tomorrow and a few more days ahead,  I will post more information when I get to my computer become cellphone keyboard are ****

 

 

 

Miguel,

 

Are you putting half of a 10 mg. pill in your liquid?  Only?  That would make approximately only a 5 mg. per 10 ml. solution?  Do you follow?  Which would mean that you decreased a whole lot more than you thought you were doing?

 

Or do you put both halves of the 10 mg. pill/tablet in the liquid??

 

Good for you......on the taking care of yourself.  I did a little bit of editing on the post I quoted.  Mostly spacing for ease of reading.

[MiguelFreeman]

3 hours ago, manymoretodays said:

 

Miguel,

 

Are you putting half of a 10 mg. pill in your liquid?  Only?  That would make approximately only a 5 mg. per 10 ml. solution?  Do you follow?  Which would mean that you decreased a whole lot more than you thought you were doing?

 

Or do you put both halves of the 10 mg. pill/tablet in the liquid??

 

Good for you......on the taking care of yourself.  I did a little bit of editing on the post I quoted.  Mostly spacing for ease of reading.

 I put the 10mg pill in the liquid but I have to break it in order to dissolve , yesterday I had alot of stress and was tired and didn't meditate today I am feeling it by the way I need to get mindfulness right I think I am not doing it right ,. The objective is to feel what's around you ? Today I feel that strange feeling of not fear but strange and a bit depressed , I when to work a bit I was fine there but then when I got home I was 2 tired and sleept on the couch when the alarm went off I coddent go I was way 2 tired I need to fix may sleep but I am on vacation and going to bed at 9:45 pm to wake up at 7 is kinda a bit hard

[MiguelFreeman]

5 hours ago, manymoretodays said:

 

Miguel,

 

Are you putting half of a 10 mg. pill in your liquid?  Only?  That would make approximately only a 5 mg. per 10 ml. solution?  Do you follow?  Which would mean that you decreased a whole lot more than you thought you were doing?

 

Or do you put both halves of the 10 mg. pill/tablet in the liquid??

 

Good for you......on the taking care of yourself.  I did a little bit of editing on the post I quoted.  Mostly spacing for ease of reading.

I am feeling better than the other day I was bad but today they  suicidal thoughts are low its more Nero- fear  a pain in the ass but I am improving fast gonna hold for 6 weeks  counting since the drop but they real reason is that we have to care for ourselves because I thought to go to hospitals and things like that they just pump you up full of drugs and we just have to take care of ourselves , yesterday I had alot of stress becose I dad had very high Bp and he didnt wonted to go to the hospital and he didnt go so I just cleared my head and let god will be done I need to keep improving on meditation

 

Love to all

Miguelfreeman