success ☼ Introducing Jemima

[Jemima]

Thank you, Zoe.  Both books are heavy-duty, the kind I'll read and re-read. I got 1000 Gifts as a Kindle, but I ordered the hard copy of You're Going To Be All Right because I know I'm going to highlight it and make notes all over the place. I hope you like them both as much as I do!

[Zoe]

A girl after my own heart- I highlight- make copies - copy by hand. I have more notes, quotes & prayers around here. If something happens to me, I can just hear my family going through all of this stuff

[trouper]

hello i I've been dealing with tinnitus and sinus pressure lately and searched the forum looking for advice. i came across several posts of yours suggesting inhaling thyme with boiling water.  i wanted to let you know that i tried it yesterday and i think it helped a bit, so thank you for a suggestion that was natural and didn't involve taking a pill.

[Narcissus]

Hello Jemima, you've just inspired me to read some C.S. Lewis.  Have you read The Problem of Pain?  That seems like it might be relevant to our plight.

[Rhiannon]

Let me add my voice to the others saying how nice it is to see you around here again.

 

But I totally support you in getting out and enjoying life away from here as well--you've waited for it and you've earned it!

 

Please consider writing a success story. I think what you're describing is probably common, and is why people don't write success stories much. Nobody really feels 100% "done" or well--you never know what's around the corner, withdrawal has taught you that. Plus, once people feel better enough to get out and live, that's what they want to do, not hang around here writing.

 

But I've known you from the start and I hereby pronounce you A Success Story! Please consider writing something for the others who come along behind you.

[tezza]

Rhi makes a good point there, J... I see you as a success, too. I'm very glad that you're here but what if you do turn that corner and move on as she mentioned.....and just never got around to writing that success story.

 

What if, just around the corner lies a fun-filled, busy life. We really don't know what lies ahead but I've seen you move forward more than side stepping. You give hope to others already.

 

I, sincerely, hope that you still come here after your success story and believe you will out of your desire to help others. I do know, however, the improvement I've experienced has led to a little more interaction with others. As we begin to live again, there seems to be more to do. People come by more now and I hope, one day, to venture out and about the way I used to.

[Jemima]

Just when I thought I was moving along, one of the many sensitivities I developed during withdrawal came along and bit me on the butt.  I'm not sure yet what I'm reacting to, but I've been in bed for over a week with a very upset stomach and a desire to sleep about fourteen hours a day. I'm fairly certain it's from supplements since I had to change a few brands recently when switching over from Drugstore.com to Amazon's "Subscribe 'n Save".  I strongly suspect a different brand of magnesium and probably a too high-powered B complex as I was taking only a B12 with L-5-MTHF before. A few days ago after I realized what was going on, I cut back to the very basics that had never given me a problem (fish oil, calcium, C, D, and my prescription blood pressure pill), felt much better within 24 hours, and have been carefully adding the others back.  I already had a reaction to one magnesium pill and I had been taking three a day, so I'm going to try a different brand of that and go back to a sublingual B-12 (methylcobalamin) with B-6 and Folic Acid, although a different brand because the other was so expensive. This is only the second day when I've spent any substantial amount of time out of bed and I'm fighting the urge to go out and run errands and try to recapture lost time. I always did that when I was much younger and always got a relapse, too.

 

I thank all of you for your kind words and encouragement, and I'm so gratified to know that I've managed to inspire some of you. I think one reason I've stalled about writing a success story is that for so many people, that's been the end of their association with SA. I must have counseling in my DNA and I don't want or plan to leave after writing the success story. This forum has become such a big part of my life over the past two-plus years I can't imagine not participating at all, mostly out of my own interest but partly in gratitude for what it's done for me.  I hate to think where I'd be if I hadn't come across this forum in a Google search near the end of my too-fast taper off Lexapro! If I hadn't been made aware that my symptoms were from withdrawal and not some sort of relapse, I might have ended up being zombified with multiple new drugs for my "mania".

 

I wonder if we ever get over the physical sensitivities caused by withdrawal?  It seems like those should heal too, along with our minds. Oddly, I can tolerate a cup or two of restaurant coffee, but not what I make at home although I always have brewed it on the weak side. Peanuts are out, maybe forever, since they apparently are a health risk for everyone and sunflower seed butter is a good substitute. It is troublesome to get sick so easily, not just because being sick is no fun, but also because I'm afraid my new acquaintances will think I'm a whiner or a hypochondriac. 

 

But there is much to be grateful for, the foremost being coming out of withdrawal with my mind fully intact.

[Altostrata]

Good heavens, J! You can post your success story and still not leave. You're doing so much good here.

 

Interesting that tweaking the mag and B vits made such a big difference. Feel better soon.

[bubble]

I'm relieved to hear you don't have plans to leave!

[dalsaan]

Hey Jemima,

 

I marvel at how far you've come, in getting off, in understanding and managing yourself and in the contributions you make here. You should write your success story and then stay on as an example of that possibility.

 

D

[mammaP]

I'm glad that you are staying Jemima, and would love to see your success story. You are an inspiration

to everyone! 

[Jemima]

Good heavens, J! You can post your success story and still not leave. You're doing so much good here.

 

Interesting that tweaking the mag and B vits made such a big difference. Feel better soon.

 

Thank you for the reassuring words, Alto. I know it was stupid, but I had this weird superstition that I'd *have* to leave if I wrote a success story since that seems to be the way it always works. There's something about having to close the Intro topic at that point that makes me uneasy, I guess. Silly, but true.

 

I'm not so sure that what happened with the supplements was just a tweak.  I went from a really pure brand of magnesium citrate to one that includes magnesium glycinate and magnesium malate, and I always had some trouble taking the Daily Value even with the pure stuff.  The B complex was one of those that has multiples of the Daily Value in the thousands.  I also started taking Strontium about two months ago in hopes that it will build up my bone density and I'm so hoping that wasn't the problem.  I haven't added it back yet. Now I'm reading in GreenMedInfo that bone density doesn't count, it's bone *strength* that prevents broken bones. SIGH. I'm frustrated and confused with the whole osteoporosis problem, not to mention suspicious of most information.  Merck Pharma, inventor of Fosamax, was the initiator of the idea that osteopenia (normal bone thinning with age, for those of you who don't know) was a "disease" and once they had doctors convinced, it was all downhill from there for the patient, while Merck got even richer.

 

Anyway, thanks again. Appreciation means a lot to me. For months I've been looking for "meaningful" volunteer work and I think it may have been right under my nose, here at the forum. I think I've had an idea in my mind that it had to be just like previous times when I've volunteered, commuting to another location, working shoulder to shoulder with other volunteers, writing grants, soliciting donations, et cetera. This is so different, even for an old geek like me. 

[Jemima]

I'm relieved to hear you don't have plans to leave!

 

Thank you so much for telling me!

[Jemima]

Hey Jemima,

 

I marvel at how far you've come, in getting off, in understanding and managing yourself and in the contributions you make here. You should write your success story and then stay on as an example of that possibility.

 

D

 

Good to hear from you, Dalsaan!  And thank you for the compliments. As I said two posts above, I had a stereotype in my mind about what volunteer work should be, based on experience that's ten years or more old, and a lot of it was big, splashy, visible stuff.  There was even a point in time here on the forum that I felt if I couldn't write a book or start local self-help groups or--you know--something BIG, I wasn't doing all that much good.  Now I'm starting to see that it's often the small things that make an important difference, both on the forum and off.

[Jemima]

I'm glad that you are staying Jemima, and would love to see your success story. You are an inspiration

to everyone! 

 

Thank you MammaP! And I'm so glad to be your co-worker!

[alex]

 

I'm glad that you are staying Jemima, and would love to see your success story. You are an inspiration

to everyone! 

 

Ditto!!!

[Jemima]

Another wad of membrane and eggshell specks fell off today and I didn't even know they were hanging around.

 

Between the really nasty winter weather we've had here in the mid-Atlantic states and my own malaise from what I now believe was a rather extreme sensitivity to magnesium, I've barely stirred from my bed let alone left the house for the past two weeks, and I was running low on groceries.  After stopping the magnesium five or six days ago, I went out grocery shopping today (by bribing myself with breakfast out) and rediscovered things I've liked a lot but had pushed aside during withdrawal in favor of what I thought were the quickest and easiest (usually frozen) meals possible.  I have trouble getting out of bed in the morning--have been that way since  early childhood--and it just dawned on me within the past few days that breakfast doesn't have to be a hot, cooked meal like eggs or oatmeal and that I could make getting up a lot easier on myself with some alternatives. So today I bought organic cold cereal at Trader Joe's, and organic soy milk along with their marvelous goat milk yogurt and organic applesauce. It's easy enough to make gluten-free muffins and reheat them in my toaster oven, too.  This evening, after unpacking the grocery bags and putting everything away, for the first time in several years I felt a nice, warm surge of gratitude for my nice, big, well-equipped kitchen and some interest in making gluten-free muffins and baked desserts. 

 

When you get to the end of withdrawal, a lot of the surprises are good ones, or so it's been for me. And food that someone else has cooked is marvelous! 

[alex]

Oh Jemima! you touched my heart...I am so happy for you!

You give me hope and inspiration.

 

Hugs,A.

[mammaP]

That is a lovely post Jemima, I'm so happy for you.  This morning I laid in bed thinking about getting up

and tackling the mountain of things to do then suddenly decided to get out of bed and go out for 

breakfast! Great minds think alike  . I  had a lovely breakfast then went to get some staples because

I am upholstering a tiny footstool for my little great grandaughter. On the way I found some lovely wrapping

paper to cover my umpteen boxes that will be on open shelves in the new house. 

When I got home I felt very pleased with myself and grateful that my creativity is back.

 

Very similar stories!! 

[Jemima]

I have struggled with trying to tolerate at least some magnesium in pill form since my last post. (Sheesh! I didn't realize how long ago that was until I looked.) Anyway, after having 25 mg. produce the same symptoms as 400 mg., I quit taking it completely two days ago.  Miracle of miracles, I slept very soundly last night, got up at 6:00 AM without great discomfort (to await AAA to jumpstart my car so I could get it to the dealership for a new battery), and actually felt better than I have in months and months. If we hadn't had drenching rain on and off all day, I would have done some shopping and probably enjoyed it. One of the men at the dealership was flirting with me and I enjoyed the heck out of that, especially since I quit wearing my wig and now look a lot different with short salt-and-pepper hair. (It took five women friends to convince me to stop wearing the wig. The prize goes to Maryellen, who told me I looked younger without it.)  Looking so different isn't easy to get used to.

 

The anhedonia seems to have just evaporated.  I'm not sure when I first realized that I was feeling some pleasure, but it really struck me when I was laughing and talking with the dealership guy today.  And I've taken an interest in shopping.  Up until recently I bought only the bare necessities, not because I couldn't afford more, but because I had no interest at all in getting new things or making the effort, even online. I've started decluttering again, a never-ending but satisfying project, and feel some excitement about cooking. There are two organic chicken breasts thawing in the fridge with which I plan to make white chicken chili, a favorite of mine. I'm not sure the convenience frozen dinner habit will die easily, but it's a start, and my CSA (Community Support Agriculture) will be open in about a month, which means I'll probably have to cook and freeze some of the veggies so they don't go to waste.  This is my first year, so I'm not sure how big the "share" will be in terms of weekly vegetable pickups, but I'm hoping to get a lot of vegetable soup socked away for colder weather and have salads for dinner often.

 

I know, I know.  I need to write that success story. 

[alex]

Miracle of miracles, I slept very soundly last night, got up at 6:00 AM without great discomfort (to await AAA to jumpstart my car so I could get it to the dealership for a new battery), and actually felt better than I have in months and months. If we hadn't had drenching rain on and off all day, I would have done some shopping and probably enjoyed it. One of the men at the dealership was flirting with me and I enjoyed the heck out of that,

The anhedonia seems to have just evaporated.  I'm not sure when I first realized that I was feeling some pleasure, but it really struck me when I was laughing and talking with the dealership guy today.  And I've taken an interest in shopping.  Up until recently I bought only the bare necessities, not because I couldn't afford more, but because I had no interest at all in getting new things or making the effort, even online. I've started decluttering again, a never-ending but satisfying project, and feel some excitement about cooking. There are two organic chicken breasts thawing in the fridge with which I plan to make white chicken chili, a favorite of mine. I'm not sure the convenience frozen dinner habit will die easily, but it's a start, and my CSA (Community Support Agriculture) will be open in about a month, which means I'll probably have to cook and freeze some of the veggies so they don't go to waste.  This is my first year, so I'm not sure how big the "share" will be in terms of weekly vegetable pickups, but I'm hoping to get a lot of vegetable soup socked away for colder weather and have salads for dinner often.

 

I know, I know.  I need to write that success story. 

[alex]

I'm sorry, I did something with the computer I didn't want to...

 

All I want to tell you is that I am so happy for you!

 

For me you are a succes story already; I rememenber you posting if the anhedonia was going to be there for ever...

And this is the 2nd time I read that men have a crush (forgive my english) on you;you gotta have something.... hahaha

 

Hugs,A

[dalsaan]

 Hey Jemima,

 

I am so very happy for you.  Its great that you are getting back into things and you may find new things that bring you joy.  On the flirting side of things - you go girl!!

 

love and hugs

 

Dalsaan

[Jemima]

Thanks so much, Alex and Dalsaan. I think I'm going to appreciate ordinary life a lot more after this.

 

I signed back on to comment on my bad experience with magnesium, because I really don't want to turn people away from it. It dawned on me as  I was loading the dishwasher this evening that probably the reason I've had a bad reaction is that I take a calcium channel blocker blood pressure medication (Isradipine, brand name Dynacirc).  Since magnesium is also a calcium channel blocker, chances are that was quite an overload.  I probably wrote off the symptoms all along as being withdrawal symptoms. Anyway, that would explain the extreme fatigue and misery, including a lot of trouble sleeping.

 

Wish I had thought of this long ago, but better late than never.

[cymbaltawithdrawal5600]

I'm glad you clarified about the mag because I started thinking that maybe it interferes with my being able to sleep all night as I take 400-600 mg a day. If I don't my legs behind the knees ache terribly and I get palpitations. It also is preventing the gut feeling of anxiety but leaves me with the mental kind.

 

Your post was delightful. I wish you could write more.

[Jemima]

I'm glad you clarified about the mag because I started thinking that maybe it interferes with my being able to sleep all night as I take 400-600 mg a day. If I don't my legs behind the knees ache terribly and I get palpitations. It also is preventing the gut feeling of anxiety but leaves me with the mental kind.

 

Your post was delightful. I wish you could write more.

 

I'm pretty sure the mag reaction was something very much peculiar to me, probably because of the blood pressure meds.  I'm also one of those people who get most of the side effects and  some odd ones besides from a lot of medications. I've mentioned several times that I get suicidally depressed on tetracycline.  Doctors are flabbergasted at that, but it's not my imagination.  Also, a nurse friend pointed out that I'm likely getting quite a bit of magnesium in my food because I eat a lot of produce, especially spinach, which is high in magnesium.

 

Thanks for the compliment on my writing. For a while, I was thinking of writing a reference work based on a lot of the factual stuff Alto has gathered (with all credit going to her and most of the proceeds going to SA), but I don't think I'm up to all that.  I'm still considering writing something about my personal experience with ADs, something on the order of Dying for a Cure by Rebekah Beddoe.  (If you haven't read that, I strongly recommend it.) I know I just love to read other people's success stories, and it's a way of getting the Big Pharma situation across without getting bogged down in details and/or getting sued. Maybe someday soon I'll try making an outline or something.

[cymbaltawithdrawal5600]

I have been getting a tight feeling in my forehead and on the top of my head. Not sure if it has to do with crying. So I decided to take my bp yesterday and it was 113/64. Constant daily use of caffeine and the the drugs made sure it was never that low. Towards the end of my meds it was creeping up, 140 's over 90's.

 

So I guess the mag is OK for me. Thanks for telling me about adverse reactions. I sleep fetal and that is why my legs hurt. Today my arm crooks hurt. The mag helps.

 

Plus the excess goes out the end and as it pulls water to the bowel with it I don't have to worry about clogs, if you know what I mean.

 

Be great if someone could distill the wisdom of this board. And a book telling of the tragedies these meds produce is a step in the right direction.

[Nikki]

Jemima writing sounds like a great idea......you have alot to offer:)

 

Happy Easter

[Jemima]

Thus ends my Introduction.  My success story is here: Success: Jemima Survives Antidepressants and Dr. Dickhead

[ChessieCat]

For anyone reading this topic, I have been tapering Pristiq using compounded capsules with slow release formula.

 

tips-for-tapering-off-pristiq-desvenlafaxine