Jump to content
Femme47

Feeling worthless; mood swings

Recommended Posts

Femme47

Hello All, 

Not sure if I am posting in the right section, so apologies in advance.

I am feeling quite lonely within no one to turn to on the same wave length..

 

I've been trying to get hold of a shrink I started seeing a few months ago. Left 3 messages asking him to confirm our regular sessions after a holiday break but he has not responded. I know that he is around, as I dialled his number by mistake yesterday and he did answer it. Unfortunately, I couldn't talk as I was not calling him. Anyway...

The very sad is that the fact of him not calling me back, makes me feel,.for some ridiculous reasons, inferior and a bad person! My worth depends on whether he calls me or not! I KNOW it's ridiculous and probably due to my general feeling down and out of sorts but this awareness doesn't makes much of the difference...

I also feel like a "bad " person, this feeling I'd experienced even before taking the meds so it's not a withdrawal..Probably, this badness has some routs in my childhood, whatever, now it feels real as ever...

Sorry for putting it out there, I don't know who to turn too. After all, my psychotherapist is ignoring me  (probably I've done something wrong, "bad girl ").

 

Anyway, thank you for reading it and any thoughts, words of the encouragement would be appreciated...

 

F47:wacko:

 

PS Really, getting disappointed with the psychoanalysts here in France..


Current Meds: Levothyrox 37.5mg (for Hashimoto's)

Suppliments: Fish Oil, Vit D, B12, Zinc, Magnesium

Oct 2012 - Apr 2013: Citalopram 20mg (got depressed after)

Jun - Nov 2013  Lexapro 5mg (quick taper with a psychiatrist and got depressed shortly after)

Dec 2013 - Mar 2014 Effexor 37.5 tapered down counting bids

21 Oct 2014 - Nov 2015 Lexapro 5mg (tapered down over the course of 7 months) and got depressed (or withdrawal?)

Nov 2015  9 days of Zoloft 25 mg - stopped  CT due the side effects

25 May 14 days of  Zoloft 25 mg - stopped  CT due the side effects

27 Oct 16 Lexapro starting dose 2 mg, titrated up to 9.6 mg, which I took only for 2 days 4-5 Mar; the side effects were unsupportable, started reducing 1-5% every 2-6 days but was often up dosing at the same rate, currently reducing 2 - 5% every 2-4 weeks; last cut was 5% to the current dose 3.8 mg planning to hold for 3-4 weeks.

Last dosage 1mg 29 Oct 2018, jumped off at this dose as I was supposed to have an operation and a surgeon had told me that he wouldn't be able to operate on me while I was taking the Lexapro. 

Share this post


Link to post
Martina23

You have done nothing wrong, you are not here for making someone be pleased, you should do what you find right as a personality and if someone considers you bad or not, it is his problem. He has not lived in your shoes. Imagine that you are standing in a bus and some drunkard angry on the whole world will hit you. Would you also run behind him “I am sorry, wait, I must have been very bad when you hit me“? Surely not and it is the same situation. Your psychiatrist is ignorant when he did not call you, not you are bad.


05/2013 Lyrica 100 mg / per day for pain + PGAD resulting from caesarian delivery11/2014 started to taper: 50 mg per day/ for one week then c/tafter one month reinstated at 50 mg /per days of 10 July 2015 drug free-

symptoms OCD

Share this post


Link to post
powerback

Hi F47 welcome , martina has given a great  analogy and good advice  .psychiatry is a mine field and just give yourself time and try find a good compassionate one that meets your needs ,almost like interviewing them for your needs .[At the moment I'm trying to have a self-imposed introspection ban on myself ,we need to know when to rest aswel].

you will need to learn to stop thinking yourself inferior to others and build your self worth [I tell myself this and I practice it ],a lot of it can be from childhood but I believe it can be unlearned without a doubt .

the ultimate goal long term I believe is self actualization and be at one with ones self [sounds a bit corny but the truth :)].

 

 


Alcohol free since February 2015 

1MG diazepam

4.5MG PROZAC.

 

 

 

Share this post


Link to post
Femme47

Hi Powerback and Martina, 

 

Thank you very much for your response and the feedback/ suggestions that I have really appreciated.

 

He has finally called me 4 messages later. Did not excuse himself or explained his delay in getting back to me. We are still in the process finding the mutual convenient  time for our session. However, I would not be upset if nothing comes of it. His lack of basic good manners made a dent in my respect of him.

Hope you are ok..

F47  


Current Meds: Levothyrox 37.5mg (for Hashimoto's)

Suppliments: Fish Oil, Vit D, B12, Zinc, Magnesium

Oct 2012 - Apr 2013: Citalopram 20mg (got depressed after)

Jun - Nov 2013  Lexapro 5mg (quick taper with a psychiatrist and got depressed shortly after)

Dec 2013 - Mar 2014 Effexor 37.5 tapered down counting bids

21 Oct 2014 - Nov 2015 Lexapro 5mg (tapered down over the course of 7 months) and got depressed (or withdrawal?)

Nov 2015  9 days of Zoloft 25 mg - stopped  CT due the side effects

25 May 14 days of  Zoloft 25 mg - stopped  CT due the side effects

27 Oct 16 Lexapro starting dose 2 mg, titrated up to 9.6 mg, which I took only for 2 days 4-5 Mar; the side effects were unsupportable, started reducing 1-5% every 2-6 days but was often up dosing at the same rate, currently reducing 2 - 5% every 2-4 weeks; last cut was 5% to the current dose 3.8 mg planning to hold for 3-4 weeks.

Last dosage 1mg 29 Oct 2018, jumped off at this dose as I was supposed to have an operation and a surgeon had told me that he wouldn't be able to operate on me while I was taking the Lexapro. 

Share this post


Link to post

Create an account or sign in to comment

You need to be a member in order to leave a comment

Create an account

Sign up for a new account in our community. It's easy!

Register a new account

Sign in

Already have an account? Sign in here.

Sign In Now
×
×
  • Create New...

Important Information

Terms of Use Privacy Policy