Moonpie: need help and supporting tapering off of Ativan

[Tweet]

So happy for you, Moonpie! You are pushing forward and pressing on to a new life of freedom and joy!🙂

I am SO glad to hear you are having more windows 💞

[Moonpie]

@Greatful 

 

Sorry I sent that to the wrong person.  Thank you for your kind words and encouragement. You will get there too!  You are very close!  My goodness with all you have been through and hung in there I now dub you superwoman!!!! You are incredible.

 

Edited November 30, 2021 by ChessieCat
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[Moonpie]

Okay I am really struggling.  After one side got better, the side new crown by the implant got worse.  I went back an the worked on it and it seemed better.  But that night it started hurting again.   Now the tooth next to it is hurting and  I just realized has a badly receded gum is hurting some too.  The gum around it swells and gets really red and the other one next to it. These 2 are not crowned.  One of the dental techs said that one tooth could not  irritate the other.  It hurts and sometimes I cannot tell which one is hurting. 

 

As long as I am taking ibuprophen most of the time it takes care of the pain. I have not taken this much ever!!!  Some nights are  harder.  They said come back if it kept hurting.  It may need more work on tweaking my bite. There is no sign of infection and xrays taken before the work showed these 2 teeth are fine. But they will be glad to check again.  The pain thought not horrendous but is wearing on me. 

 

My mind races and anxiety rises when I hurt and now seeing the problems with the other tooth I get scared of what it might be or could be.  I am having WD too, anxiety, crying spells, tight chest.  Waking up really early. The other night I woke up and thought I had been asleep all night and it was 2:30 am.  They said it would take a few days for the gums to heal where the bites was off and bruised it.  So I am not sure when to go back this week but I will if it isn't better tomorrow. The girl said it could be off just a hair and do this.  It took 3 visits for the other one and it was gone once they got it right. 

 

They adjusted my mouth guard but it needs more. The dentist said I had to realize that without that premolar where the implant is (no crown on it yet) is causing a lot of pressure to be put on the new crown by it.  Plus I am clenching and grinding at night and I know this tooth is getting some of the pressure from that. 

 

I never dreamed I would be in pain this long.  

[Shep]

I'm sorry you're still dealing with this, Moonpie. Are you getting enough to eat, such as soft foods and soups? Make sure you're also staying hydrated. 

[Moonpie]

@Shep  Thank you for caring.  Not doing the greatest staying hydrated that has been a challenge all along.  Struggling eating but I am.  Didn't have appetite before, but with the pain I feel queasy and full.

 

I went to my chiropractor yesterday thinking it might be that but he said no.  He said I had to consider how much I have done in a short amount of time and my body is struggling to heal. 

 

I also wonder how much WD and a sensitive nervous system plays into this. The pain is definitely playing into the anxiety.  It even causes panic sometimes.  Just flairs up without even thinking anything.

 

 I go today praying they will figure something out.They said they will take xrays again to make sure. 

 

Last night I took the ibuprophen, had to take it 2 times yesterday,  it upset my stomach but don't know if it is that or WD. Trying to use Arnica today and see if I can cut back a dose on the other.  

[Moonpie]

Okay I went back to the dentist this Wednesday.  I love him more and more!!!  He came in patted my hand and said, "I don't want you to be worried or anxious about your teeth.  There is nothing wrong with them. We are going to get this straightened out."   I told him I had been anxious about it.  And he said, "I can feel your anxiety from here". 

 

He went on to explain that he had seen this a 1000 time.  Because I have no molars on the bottom, and the premolar is where the implant will be, I have gotten a lot of new crowns and I grind my teeth at night, it makes it harder to get the bite exactly right.  But it can and will be done. He said when I get the crown set on the implant it will be a game changer.  ( that is 3 months away) 

 

They worked on my new crowns both sides, and my mouth guard.  They had all discussed it before I came in and decided that the height of the guard was bumping the tooth.  (the guard is upper only). I knew it needed to be fixed because my teeth were sore in the morning.  The next morning there was a big difference.

 

 I did good all day yesterday until I starting working and lifting.  Then the tooth started hurting.  He  said that is a sure sign the problem is my bite being off.  I must admit it wasn't as bad as before.  I took arnica while I worked and did ibuprophen at bed time.  This usually last me until 12 or 1.  I am going to go ahead and call and ask for a time line on this.  

 

This dental office understands and accepts discontinuation withdrawal syndrome and anxiety.    They work with me and do not discount any of my sensitivities  or my anxiety.  They are such blessing.  Sorry I can't say it enough!

[getofflex]

Moonpie I'm so glad you have such a great dentist!  It sounds as though it is going well overall.  I understand about having other health or dental issues during WD.  It complicates things.  But, we will get through this! 

[Moonpie]

I did research on the site and found a few things about dental work and pain with withdrawal. I do not think all of this is WD but I truly think it is playing into it.  If our nervous systems are so sensitized, would it not stand to reason, poking the bear with dental work (a lot in my case) wouldn't stir things up?   Any thoughts on this everyone?

Seeing some improvement in pain.  Still taking ibuprophen at night to sleep.  Using Traumeel for the pain during the day, but it isn't as intense.  Does get worse in the afternoon. They suggested I wear my mouth guard when I worked during the day because I might be clenching in concentration.  Seemed to help some yesterday.  

 

They will call me Monday to see how things are going.  I can't see what else the can do.  They say we are no where near taking off too much of the crowns but I am concerned.  Mouth guard isn't making my teeth sore after wearing it.  Some it it feels like it is coming from my jaw too.  🥺

 

 

[ChessieCat]

Any additional stress (even good stress, eg going on a holiday) can cause a worsening of withdrawal symptoms.

[Moonpie]

Where is the link to make a graph of symptoms?

[ChessieCat]

There are printed and computer versions (monthly) of Joseph Glenmullen's withdrawal symptoms list here.  I am not aware of any graphs.  Unless you mean spreadsheet.

 

Dr Joseph Glenmullen's Withdrawal Symptoms

[Moonpie]

@ChessieCat I guess  A spread sheet is what I mean. I have seen it posted on other people's pages and it looks like a graph with A line charting the ups and downs of their tapering.

[Shep]

On 12/12/2021 at 9:57 AM, Moonpie said:

I have seen it posted on other people's pages and it looks like a graph with A line charting the ups and downs of their tapering.

 

You can turn a spreadsheet into a graph. There are lots of how-to videos on YouTube that will walk you through it. If you're using Google Sheets, go to YouTube and search for "how to make a graph using Google Sheets" or if you're using Excel, "how to make a graph using Excel." The videos will walk you through the process. 

[Moonpie]

@Shep Thank you!  

[getofflex]

@Moonpie on my apple iMac, I have a program called "Numbers".   It is a spreadsheet, and you type in the information in the spreadsheet.  Then, there is a "chart" option, which automatically turns the data into a chart.  That's what I used.  

[Moonpie]

Thank you!!!

[Moonpie]

1O MONTH UPDATE:  

The 21st of December I hit the 10 month mark off of Lexapro.  I am seeing some marked improvements.  Tight Chest, Anxiety and Depression are much milder.  I have even had normal days which is always different! LOL.  Of course there have been some times they have intensified, but most of those times it was nothing like before.   When I am in a window my health fear and other fears just aren't there.  Keeping my window journal has been a great help.  Plus I still keep my symptom journal I stared when I came to SA.  My dental pain has resolved after all the work.  I go back in February to see if the implant has taken. 

 

WD seems right now to like fatigue,  and not being able to sleep.  My fit bit tells me I am getting 17 to 22 minutes of deep sleep. I lie there knowing I am semi awake. UGH.   I got sick the day after Christmas.  Congestion but mainly fatigue and just feeling bad (maybe lack of sleep?)  I am slowly improving.  

 

My ears are ringing worse. I had it before the meds but at has gotten louder since I am off Lexapro. My neck pain has been very bad but there are days it is almost gone. And my chiropractor says I am improving greatly better than he has seen in a long time, even though I still hurt.  I have decided it is one of those WD symptoms. 

 

 I looked it up and side effects of Buspar are ringing in ears, muscle stiffness and pain  and trouble sleeping. I am wondering since Mr. Lex has left if Ms. Buspar is showing her side now. 

 

I look back at how far I have come in the last 4 years.  I am a stronger person and closer to the Lord than I was when I started.  He has carried me through this . 

 

Yes I would have liked to check the "do not want to participate box" but that wasn't an option.  Good things have come from the suffering and I look at all the wonderful people I have met here and new friends I have made. 

 

Each and everyone of you that have helped and supported me are a part of my success! Thank you thank you from my heart!  Thank you doesn't seem like enough for all you have done.     I don't know what the next year will bring or the next taper but I am not going to quit or give up!  I know I can do this and all of you that are struggling can too!  And I know I will have support and caring every step of the way from all of you!  Happy New Year. 

[Shep]

Beautiful update, Moonpie. I'm glad you're seeing some improvements in symptoms and able to find the good in the suffering. Better days are ahead. 

[getofflex]

17 hours ago, Moonpie said:

The 21st of December I hit the 10 month mark off of Lexapro.  I am seeing some marked improvements.

Woohoo! Congratulations Moonpie!  I'm thrilled for you.  What a relief it is to see improvements from getting of a drug like Lexapro.  

 

17 hours ago, Moonpie said:

I look back at how far I have come in the last 4 years.  I am a stronger person and closer to the Lord than I was when I started.  He has carried me through this . 

I can honestly say the same think is true for myself.  The Lord has, and is, carrying me through this as well.  

 

I'm really happy to hear that you are through the dental issues, at least for a little while.  

 

Take heart, your sleep will improve.  Mine has.  Sleep was my worst WD symptom, but it is much improved overall.  

 

I hope you have a happy New Year as well.  

[Tweet]

So very, VERY happy for you, Moonpie! And so glad your back problems were indeed the withdrawal. It was dark in that valley but you are coming up on the other side. God is so good to have mercy on us when we make stupid decisions like getting on this stuff. He takes us by the hand and leads us lovingly through misery and back to freedom, 

all the while drawing us closer to him.

 

[Moonpie]

Any thoughts on this is appreciated. I am a bit confused right now.  After 8 days of congestion, feeling weak and exhausted especially the latter 2, I am only slightly improved.  I know being sick affected my WD (pretty much everything does) but am confused if the lingering is continued illness and recovery or simply WD.  I need to work next week.  If it is WD I know how much I can push through.  If it is from illness I need to go easier.  The lingering part makes me wonder if it is WD.  Have had dizziness, anxiety, weak feeling in chest and feeling achey sometimes, all WD symptoms I have experienced. Plus exhausted in the morning

Thank you for your help.

[ChessieCat]

On 1/1/2022 at 12:40 PM, Moonpie said:

My ears are ringing worse. I had it before the meds but at has gotten louder since I am off Lexapro.

 

Have you have a Covid vaccination?  My tinnitus worsened after my first dose (August 2021) of AstraZeneca and then eased up.  It then worsened again after the second dose but not as bad as the first dose.  It is has lessened.

 

1 hour ago, Moonpie said:

After 8 days of congestion, feeling weak and exhausted especially the latter 2, I am only slightly improved. 

 

Is there a chance you have Covid?

[Moonpie]

@ChessieCat Thank you for responding. I have not had the vaccine. I tested for covid the 3rd day I was sick and it came back negative. I am going today and be tested again in case something has changed. I can tell now I am definitely in a wave.

 

 

 

 

 

 

[Moonpie]

I decided not to be tested again.  I just truly felt that wasn't it.  Well after 7 rough days,  I woke up today much much better. I do believe looking back that it was a virus and 90% wave.  But when you are in one it is hard to see out when it is crashing over you.  I see my coping skills improving a lot.  Very thankful

[UserMan1775]

On 1/2/2022 at 7:40 PM, Moonpie said:

Any thoughts on this is appreciated. I am a bit confused right now.  After 8 days of congestion, feeling weak and exhausted especially the latter 2, I am only slightly improved.  I know being sick affected my WD (pretty much everything does) but am confused if the lingering is continued illness and recovery or simply WD.  I need to work next week.  If it is WD I know how much I can push through.  If it is from illness I need to go easier.  The lingering part makes me wonder if it is WD.  Have had dizziness, anxiety, weak feeling in chest and feeling achey sometimes, all WD symptoms I have experienced. Plus exhausted in the morning

Thank you for your help.

That sounds a little too familiar, I don't think that was WD I think you may have had covid.

[Moonpie]

@UserMan1775 the test was negative but its possible. But as it w ed not on and now Wd was definately part.  I have felt like this before minus the congestion.

[Moonpie]

Today I was thinking, WD is like committing a crime and not knowing what the statute of limitations is.  You dont' know when it may come back to bite you.

 

I am still in a wave.  Little moments of partial windows which I am thankful for those rays to light.  Extreme exhaustion, that sick sick weak feeling. Little energy.  Neck pain but it comes and in intensity.   My neck is always stiff but sometime the pain is minimal.  Not sleeping well at all.  I didn't mean to but yesterday I got 22,000 steps on my fitbit.  Not a bad thing but as tired as I was I couldn't sleep and feel like I slept in the middle of the highway last night and a truck ran over me. 

 

Had lab work done today.  Monday I will know if my thyroid is a part of this.  It is hard to tell because that and WD are hard to tell apart. There were times in the pasts I thought it was and it wasn't.  We will see. 

 

I was telling a friend that if healing is a gradual improvement then mine must be a quadriplegic turtle.

 

There is one thing I am working on.  And trust me I am a work in progress.  I heard the saying we can be afraid but not fear.  I didn't get it.  I see it now.  I can feel afraid, but if I don't assign thoughts to the fear ( and we all have our special ones) then it will just remain a bad feeling.  When I can accomplish it, it takes the edge off of it.  

[Frogie]

@Moonpie

 

Very well said!

[Bea81]

@Moonpie,sending you love and support. And an apology for not having answered your last message. I will in a bit. Glad your getting your levels checked. Once again the way you feel is so so similar to how Im feeling that I belive we can really support each other. ❤️ 

[Moonpie]

@Bea81so good to hear from you. Never apologize for not answering there are times we just can't with what we are going through but when we can we do.  Thank you for the love and support.  I believe we can really support each other too. Hugs. Let me know how you are doing. This continues to be a very hard month for me. 

[Greatful]

@Moonpie  Sending you a hug Moonpie🤗  It has been a hard month for me also.  You are so encouraging even when in a wave. I  feel a sense a calm that radiates off of your in voice.  

I hope I can learn from your journey and attitude.

 

Hang in there❤️

[Moonpie]

@Gratefull thank you for your kind words.  Sending a hug back to you.  I am so sorry you are having a bad month too.  I hurt for you.   I know what it is like. It makes me happy I done something to encourage you.  Your journey and words have blessed me and helped me many times. We will make it as have many others although we may not feel like it now. ❤

[Moonpie]

11 MONTHS OFF LEXAPRO UPDATE.    January 21st 2021 marked my 11th month.  December started rough but then it got very good.  My little kite was flying with its tail off the ground.  Energy, moments of clear thinking, hopefulness, motivation and then the 26th I got sick.  I tested negative for Covid but with the symptoms and how I am still feeling I think I had it. 

 

The month has still been rough.  I do have windows - partial ones but there is much fatigue. Anxiety and depression are milder over all.  My sleep still is not good. Cortisol spikes at 3 am and for a while I had a few at 5 am.   I just feel so drained and lethargic all the time.  I am thankful I can work but when I come home I crash. I have tried not to nap unless I am just really zonkered and know Have to work again that night.    I just hoped with the amazing windows in December and improvements there would be more this month.  

 

My neck pain was very much relieved for a week or so, and my range of motion better.  It comes and goes which as time goes on I truly believe it is part of WD.  My chiropractor says the original issue is gone.  I had another adjustment for another issue, and it came back but not as bad.  

 

Daughter #1 and her husband had covid.  Daughter #2 overseas as it - she had it a year ago.  Daughter #3 and her husband and 3yr old and 2 yr. old had it. Everyone has recovered and is doing fine but Mama hated not being able to be there to help! 

 

Today would have been mine and my husband's 50th wedding anniversary.  I am thankful for the 41 1/2 wonderful years we had.  30 more years than what the dr. said we would have when he was 25.  These things have an effect even if we don't' want them to or don't realize it right away.  Tight chest, anxiety, restlessness.  I have had some, I call them "heebie jeebies" a few nights where I am just jittery and feel hyperness when I lay down to sleep.  It passes though.  I have had throbbing teeth and a few nights I could feel my fingers throbbing under my pillow to the point it kept me awake. Thankfully it didn't last all night.  I have had a couple of times the kids tell me something and I say they hadn't and they say, "No we told you a month ago......and state when."  At first it concerned me but I know with all that is going on I won't remember everything, and I see my short term memory getting better.  

 

As always I am thankful for my progress so very much.  17 more days until I reach the 1 year mark. I sure thought I would at least be marching in my own small parade at this point.   I am doing much better at handling this journey, and I thank the Lord for it.  I do get discouraged.  

 

Thank you for everyone that continues to encourage and support me.  

 

 

[SonSetFree]

Hi Moonpie,

Sorry to hear you're going through a rough time.  I am having a rough January I believe largely due to the fact that I had Covid around Christmas and it has been stress on my system.  

 

Is it possible that is what is going on with you?

 

Son

[Moonpie]

Hi @SonSetFree.    I am sorry to hear you too have had a rough time and had Covid also.  Mine was a mild case but I have wondered if this isn't the reason for my problems too.  Thank you for sharing.  I think you are right. With WD you have it for so long you don't think about other things stirring the pot.  I came down with it the 26th of December.   We just need to give it time, something I am learning to accept.  Hope you feel better soon!  

[getofflex]

16 hours ago, Moonpie said:

My little kite was flying with its tail off the ground.  Energy, moments of clear thinking, hopefulness, motivation and then the 26th I got sick.

I'm so happy to hear that you are having some positive happy times.  But I'm sorry that you then got sick.  

 

16 hours ago, Moonpie said:

I just hoped with the amazing windows in December and improvements there would be more this month.  

When you fully recover from being sick, you will have more windows! And, the windows will get longer, and the waves shorter and less intense.  That has been my own experience.  

 

16 hours ago, Moonpie said:

Today would have been mine and my husband's 50th wedding anniversary.

I know this must be a hard, sad day.  I'll be thinking of you and praying for you more than usual.   I know you are in the south, but the winter days are shorter and colder and darker than usual, and this can be a challenge for many of us as well.  As spring comes around, I believe that you will feel better and better.    ☀️🌻