Moonpie: need help and supporting tapering off of Ativan

[john856]

Quote

I think I am coming out of a wave slowly

Glad to see you might be coming out of a wave slowly. I hope you can get better rest soon and things stabilize for you. Sending good vibes your way.

[Moonpie]

@john856thank you  For your kind words and support!  It is always so uplifting and helps.. Hope you are doing doing well also.

[Altostrata]

How do you feel after 9 p.m. Buspar?

[Moonpie]

@Altostratait depends on how my symptoms are. If I am having anxiety it stays the same.  If I am ok, that stays the same too.  There isnt a pattern.  It doesnt seem to make a difference.

[getofflex]

6 hours ago, Moonpie said:

7:00 am  Got out of bed, anxiety tight chest, not as bad as yesteday

 

6 hours ago, Moonpie said:

I think I am coming out of a wave slowly

I'm glad to hear this!  I've been praying for you, and will continue to do so.  

23 hours ago, Moonpie said:

The symptoms are much much milder than the 1st 6 or 7 months.   I have seen symptoms improve since then, and I do have some windows.

Wonderful!  The symptoms should continue to get milder and milder, but it may happen very slowly and gradually.  At least, that is how it was for me.  You are on the right track!  Just from what I see on your most recent journal, I don't see an adverse reaction to Buspar.  I don't see in your notes that your symptoms are worse after you take the Buspar.  Hopefully Alto will chime in her thoughts as well.  

[Moonpie]

@getofflex  Thank you for your encouragement and support!  I really needed it this afternoon.  You know how they say things come in threes?  Well the last few days mine has come in six.  In  spite of the increased anxiety that came with the incidents I handled them (except for one LOL) way better than I would have several months ago.  And got has taken care of each and every one. Thank you for your prayers!  I continue to pray for you also!  ❤️

[Moonpie]

@Altostrata 

7:40 am  Got out of bed, anxiety tight chest, tired queasy

8:30 am  Ate Breakfast

9:00 a.m. Took 2.5 mg. Buspar, desiccated thyroid bioidentical hormones

10:00 am 600 mg ibuprophen

11:00 pm to 1:30 pm symptoms improved a lot

1:30 pm to 3:00 window! felt much better no anxiety!

3:00 pm ate a good lunch

4:30 pm tired laid down before next job, didn’t sleep

5:20 pm got up, dizzy slight tight chest, mild anxiety, queasy

6:30 pm Anxiety increased tight chest

8:00 pm Anxiety and tight chest milder

9:00 pm Took 2.5 Buspar ate some fruit

9:30 pm took 200 mg magnesium malate

10:00 pm Laid down read a book symptoms still eased

11:00 pm Lights out

12:45 pm woke up to use bathroom

12:45 to 4:30 am seemed like less awakenings.  Lot’s of dreaming.  More peaceful night, seemed like more sleep/ light sleep

4:30 am woke up fear, anxiety.  Strange I just said to myself I will not fear, I will not be anxious, it worked this time. Dozed on and off till get up time

 

[getofflex]

You have an incredible attitude.  You will get through this!  It sounds as though you are doing better.  Thanks for the prayers.   

[Moonpie]

@Altostrata

 

7:00 am  Woke up mild symptoms

8:00 am Got up

9:00 am Took 2.5 mg. Buspar, desiccated thyroid bioidentical hormones

9:30 am  Ate Breakfast

10:00 am took 600 mg ibuprophen

11:00 am to 3:00 pm Felt okay, small spikes of brief anxiety but left quickly

3:30 pm Ate lunch

4:30 pm laid down to rest - no sleep

5:30 pm Got up, some dizziness. A friend called about witnessing a puppy being abused at her apartment and wanted to know who to call.  3 witnesses.  Animal control can’t come till tomorrow

6:30 pm  Anxiety stronger I know it is hearing about the puppy and it being okay thru the night.  Snack

7:30 pm fruit

8:30 pm Anxiety but milder.

9:00 pm Took 2.5 Buspar, Omega 6 and 200 mg of magnesium glycine

10:00 pm read

10:30 pm lights out

11:45 pm  woke up

11:45 pm to 6:00  am light sleep very peaceful very  mild anxiety 

 

I haven't noticed any differences since stopping my supplements.

I have been experimenting with some different magnesium I have.  Right after taking them I notice feeling a little strange, and a weak feeling in my chest.   But it passes quickly.  I notice in the last few night of taking magnesium malate and last night with the magnesium glycine that the best way to describe it is nights are "gentler" sleep even with frequent awakenings.  Still feel the same in the morning though.  Tired and anxiety and tight chest vary

 

Edited February 19, 2022 by ChessieCat
Resized font/deitalicized the last paragraph

[Altostrata]

Why did you take ibuprofen?

 

It looks to me like you are stabilizing, though Buspar might not be doing anything one way or the other. It may just take time for your body to recover from going off a benzo and antidepressant.

[Moonpie]

@Altostrata Thank you so much for taking the time to help me and work this out. I truly appreciate it!  

 

I did not take magnesium last night and was able to sleep some, but who knows what tonight will bring.  I cannot afford a time release magnesium you mentioned. I do have a powdered one that I can measure out what I need.   I was wondering if the smaller doses during the day will make me sleepy. It definitely has that affect on me. Also, how much should I take at night to insure being able to fall asleep.    I do feel I need to supplement as I am sure I am low in it due to anxiety and stress of WD.  Plus I am not able to eat much.  

 

Thank you again!

[Altostrata]

1 hour ago, Moonpie said:

I was wondering if the smaller doses during the day will make me sleepy.

 

I don't know, you'd have to try it and see what happens.

 

1 hour ago, Moonpie said:

Also, how much should I take at night to insure being able to fall asleep.

 

I don't know, have you found a dosage that works?

 

Have you tried melatonin?

[Moonpie]

@Altostrata  I am trying some different ones since I am no longer going to take the min-tran for a while.  Depending on my anxiety 200 mg seems to work some nights. It has only been 3 days since I have been trying different types of magnesium.  Sometimes it makes me feel funny after I take it but it passes.

 

Yes I tried Melatonin, but it didn't work for me, unfortunately.  I will experiment.  Thank you

[Altostrata]

Magnesium glycinate and glycine by itself may be good choices for you.

[Moonpie]

@Altostrata thank you. I have this and tried it one night plan to try it more

[Moonpie]

1 YEAR OFF LEXAPRO TODAY! 

 

I usually wait to post until sometime  past  the date. But this one is special. It's not exactly the party I'd hoped to be celebrating but I am so grateful every bit of progress.   I've been in a strong wave yesterday and today. Some old symptoms and some I haven't seen in a while. 

 

But no matter what's happening right now I have one year I will never have to live through again.

I have experience I would have never gained.

I have new strength that I have obtained no matter how I feel right now.

I have wisdom and the ability to survive in ways I never would have dreamed. 

 

I will never have to pass that way again. There might be similar experiences but that does  not bring the past into the present. It is gone and I  move forward, hoping toward the healing that will come and also the day I can start tapering my last drug. 

 

I know I have the support and help of all my friends and fellow SA members here..

I know that I have the encouragement  from everyone that has made it and continues to cheer people like me on. 

 I have a vast number of fellow travelers that are on this journey with me and we are all holding each other up.

 

I thank God for bringing me to this site and for all He continues to do to carry me through this and heal me. 

 

I am crying as I write this not only because I am in a wave but all the emotions that come with reaching this point and all the wonderful people on this site.

 

I continue to see improvements, and some windows. Though I am greedy for more.  I do not have a doubt someday I will be writing a success story  from all these drugs. 

 

Tonight I pray a very special prayer for each and every person that is a part of this group.. Thank you for listening and caring.

[Altostrata]

Yay! What a great attitude. Hurray for you, Moonpie.

[Moonpie]

@AltostrataThank you!

[Greatful]

@Moonpie

What a major accomplishment 1 year off of Lexapro.  

Your acknowledgement that you will never have to go through that year again was so on point.

Thank you for showing me how to look positive in the fact that part of the nightmare is over and the future is in front of me......

Your perseverance and outlook is amazing❤️

You've got this and one day will be writing your success story, giving inspiration to those that are on their journey to heal from these drugs.

[Moonpie]

@Greatfulawww thank you for your kind words.    You have inspired me and helped me to keep going too!I have to admit I have to work constantly to keep this focus.  We all just to keep going and not look back! We are in this together!  

[Moonpie]

@Shep

Hi, I was wondering if you could help me sort some things out.

 

My year has been progressive.  Not a lot of huge windows, but lots of partials.  I remember a long time ago you said across the board improvement.   And that has been what it, a gradual lessening other than a few flair ups.  I had some VERY good days in December before I got sick.

 

This last week my sleep seems better although I wake tired but not exhausted as before. Not as many early morning awakenings with anxiety and not being able to sleep. But this has bounced around before too.  My fit bit says my deep sleep and REM are usually not where they need to be.

 

I am able to work but feel tired and not a lot of stamina. But not the exhaustion I was feeling before.   I fizzle completely around 3 or 4.  I j ust feel off and not right. I haven’t felt well since I had Covid in December.  I wasn’t sure that was what it was but I followed the pattern.   With my symptoms staying milder it is confusing.  I do have some waves but NOTHING like before.

 

I found out I have arthritis in my neck, two discs that still have space between them but lessening.  Also some bone spurs on the front from an injury the said from when I would have been younger.  I was told with chiropractic treatment I would have periods where there would be no pain and it would return and I would need to come back for them to get me on track again. This caused anxiety of course LOL

 

This week I have had symptom I have had before but it is frightening, my chest feels weak, between my neck and breast bone. It is very uncomfortable and strange.   I also had two very brief spells where I felt short of breath but it passed. 

 

I was wondering when I can start tapering the Buspar.    I didn’t know if it might ease some of the symptoms.  Thank you for your help!

[Shep]

8 hours ago, Moonpie said:

I was wondering when I can start tapering the Buspar.    I didn’t know if it might ease some of the symptoms. 

 

Sorry you're dealing with so much on top of withdrawal, but it's good you're seeing some overall improvements. I would stick to the same "withdrawal normal" guidelines, regardless if your upticks in symptoms are withdrawal related or from other issues. You still need to have some stability, even though not perfect, in order to handle any upticks in symptoms that may arise from removing Buspar. Let's go for what Brassmonkey calls "WD Normal":

 

WD Normal

 

Hope you find relief from the disc issues and arthritis. Perhaps work on non-drug types of pain relief so you'll be able to manage the reminder of your taper as best as possible. You've already come a long way, Moonpie. I'm sure you'll manage the remainder just fine. 

[Moonpie]

@Shep  Thank you so much!  Your words are reassuring.  In my mind I keep waiting for one of those fireworks windows!  A grand finale moment like in Hello Dolly when Barbara Streisand walks down the stairs in the glittering gown singing except is me.   LOL  

 

You have helped put things in perspective.  I think sometimes I get to focused on those "milestone" months, 12 and 18.  Well if month 12 isn't mine I will purpose to look forward to seeing it in these next 6 months.  If it isn't till 18 months then I can look at it that I only have 6 more months.  I am in a race and I need markers to look too.  

 

Will be checking back with you when things look WD normal.  Bless you Shep.  

[Moonpie]

My daughter sent me this today.  I wanted to share it, it speaks volumes to all of us.   Those who are healed and us who are healing.

Someday you'll tell someone how you got through what you are currently going through and they'll use it as their survival guide.

 

[Moonpie]

UPDATE 13 AND 14 MONTHS OFF OF LEXAPRO

 

First I want to apologize for not posting more. I do want to be a support to others, a giver not just a taker.  Typing and thinking this out was just too overwhelming.  Even as I do now it is with great effort.  

 

Since my last post it has been after another.  Almost like a string of beads.  I accidently dropped  a bottle of garlic supplements and he unscrewed the lid (yes he unscrews lids he does not chew them open) I couldn't tell if he had eaten any they are toxic to dogs. (high mg)

I rushed him to the vet and we made him vomit.  Thankfully no pills.  

 

Then my van broke down and even after 3 weeks of  repairs and searching for parts, I was told it might not be fixable and that would leave me buying a new one.  Not an option.  I thank they Lord it was fixed. 

 

The very day after I found out it was okay, I mean immediately, my daughter called to tell me, (I had just been at her  house) her 12 year old dog had gone missing.  He isn't one to run off.  We think someone picked him up.  He was a real cutie.   I was  heartbroken too. We searched for days and put up posters. We still haven't found him.

 

Right after that , Bill got into my purse and got a box of raisins I had forgotten about.  It was sitting up but he had pulled it down out of  a chair.  Super toxic, a rush to the ER vet.  They kept him all night with an IV flushing his kidneys.  It was the 1st night I have never been without him and been completely alone. Needless to say all night panic and not sleep.   I picked him up and said to take him to his vet to test his kidneys in 3 days.  Only then would we know if he had damage and it could vary depending on the dog.  Of course I was on pins and needles.  Test showed he was okay.

 

The next month my daughter who I have not seen for 16 months was coming home for a visit from overseas.  As I have told you since my husband died my house has filled with stuff.  I was very motivated and restored my laundry room, hall, bedroom, guest room and living room to how my houses had been for years.  Clean and organized.   I gave and threw away a lot of stuff.  The all the working so hard and  changes triggered anxiety even though I was fine with discarding and cleaning.  Funny how even happy positive things can bring anxiety when we are in WD.

 

The night before she got here I had an all night panic attack and went into a bad wave and dark places I have not been in a year.  The wave lasted until the day before she left. She was so sweet and understanding.  Of course I still worked and there was a whirlwind of social activities I was part of.  Including going out of town to see my precious 96 year old mother in law I have not seen for 3 years. Even a children's inside activity park we all went to for my two little grandsons and she met a friend there.  The decibels probably competed with a jet getting ready for take off.  I was actually okay and the anxiety eased, crazy huh?  With all the other dinners, shopping, interactions, anxiety and symptoms were brutal but I participated and went to everything.  Of course her leaving was very hard. I am so thankful she came and made the round trip safely (20 hours of flying)

 

After she left I suddenly developed a physical issue related to post menopause.  The pain and discomfort was another trigger.  I am getting treatment and after over 2 months it is resolving. 

 

Sorry this is so  long and no there is no cheese to go with my "whine" lol.  I just needed to share and so had you can see I have had a lot of triggers. 

 

The positive sides are: while some old symptoms have briefly resurfaced and times, there are no new ones.

My sleep had improved.  I am still tired rising but I am sleeping without a lot of waking. I can function through out the day.

 

Morning cortisol spikes are milder and a few days it was practically nothing.  Usually at 5 am or 6 am instead of 3 am

 

I have had moments where my cut off the negative thoughts.  I am doing better at controlling them and not following them down that path into the deep dark forest. 

 

There have been times there was no fear and even thoughts of things I have worried about didn't frighten me.  I am able to eat other than periodically  queasy and not able to.  

 

My energy level while not top notch has been better.  Only certain times of that awful exhaustion. 

 

I have pushed through and been able to work even though at times it felt impossible. I am thankful for that. 

 

For  a couple of weeks I felt there was a change.  Couldn't put my finger on it just different in a better way.

 

I have partial windows most days for a few hours at a time, sometimes more.  I hadn't had a really good window until this past week.  One of 2 hours of total bliss and I was at the store.  Such peace and contentment.  No symptoms. Then Friday from about 10 am to the rest of the day I was no anxiety, I felt happy and my neck felt better than it ever has!  

 

I still usually wake up with anxiety and a tight chest every day.  Depression and crying have been more.  But I am seeing improvements as you can see.  Not as fast or as much as I would like but progress.  And that counts!!!

 

Wednesday is my next hurdle.  I am praying I am not in a wave.  I got back to the dentist and they will open the gum and see if my implant has taken.  Then they will post it and take a impression for the tooth.  They will be using the carbocaine I had the reaction to 5 years ago.  When they had me out for all the dental work they used some to deaden me so when I woke up I wouldn't feel any pain for a bit.  My heart and vitals did fine.  So it was something related to the meds .   I don't know if it will spike anxiety or not. I don't have a choice.  I don't have $450 to be put out for 30 minutes.  Nor do I want to be.  I am ready to try this. 

 

I won't lie, I have been disappointed there haven't been more windows, but I am thankful that they symptoms are very manageable most of the time though at times hard. 

 

I also  won't lie there were times I wished for an Ativan or Xanax to get thru an horrific moment but I won't.  It isn't worth it and I want to live and face what life brings without relying on a pill.  I have come too far to go back even 1/2 a step.

 

Maybe this wouldn't have been so hard to write if I hadn't written a book!  LOL and working on the computer does make the neck pain worse.  

 

I just take each day as it comes and deal with whatever level of symptoms there are.  (except the one when my daughter was here,  I was a mess)

 

I am moving along.  I am healing.  I thought on a positive note if symptoms mean healing then I am doing a lot at once.   If no one wants to read I get it.  I appreciate everyone here and their support.  I will get through this and heal!  Another tiny step of progress - I typed all this and posted!

 

Praying for all you on here that are on the journey too and suffering.  Moonpie ❤️

 

 

[Shep]

Thanks for the update, Moonpie. Overall, you seem to be getting less severe waves and some partial windows, which is amazing considering all of the stressors you've had. Looks like you're doing very well at playing the long game.

[Moonpie]

@Shepthank you for your encouragement!  When I am in the midst of the battle and progress is slow it is sometimes hard to see I am moving forward. Can't wait for the day I get my "get out of jail card". Lol

 

[Moonpie]

15 months off Lexapro.  

I always wait to post but decided not to.  The month started off pretty good.  Saw some new improvements and had some  really good windows.  Not perfect but way better than I have had in a long long time.  I felt I might be turning the corner with how my thinking coping and emotions were.  That is until the 24th of this month then it went south again. 

 

 I have been in a wave 5 days now.  A few moments where the anxiety is not as intense.   Waking early with hard anxiety and fear to the point I wonder if I can keep going.  I know I don't' have a choice.  Mornings are the hardest.  2 days I laid curled up in a ball when I wasn't working listening to scripture.  I had one much worse than this last month.  Tight chest, anxiety, hopelessness, depression, panic and fear.  I guess I am surprised this far out that I would have 2 months that hard.  

 

My implant had healed SO well that then bone grew WAY over the implant.  A 30 min. procedure turned into 1 1/2 hours.  He drilled and chipped and then took an xray and he said he had NEVER had this happen.  It even grew down into the hole of the implant. He used a deadening that had no  epinephrine so he had to use it frequently.  16 shots.  The tooth next too it was throbbing and where the implant was.  Went back a week later they checked it and all was fine. It is still bothering me some.

 

 I was diagnosed with genitourinary atrophy   post menopausal.  That is part of the bladder issue but still not sure how much could be WD.  It takes 3 to 4 months for the treatment to work.  The discomfort spikes my anxiety and heath fears.  A urologist said if it didn't go away by June 8th she wanted to do a  cystoscopy.  It went away the week before but is back.  That seems very invasive just to check.  She felt it was the atrophy too but it would be to "make sure".   It isn't as bad as it was but still bothers me.  I was looking on Baylissa Fredricks site and she talked about the urinary and female issues that describe what I am going thru.  And it came on overnight.  So confusing. 

 

Going to have my thyroid checked just incase, I am to do it every 6 months and it has been 4. It is so hard to know what is WD and what isn't. 

 

So confusing. Very discouraged. Sometimes I wonder if I should even post as I hate to drag others down.  I try not to have expectations and I truly believe I will heal.  Yet each month passing I can't help but hope.    ❤️HUGS❤️

[getofflex]

Moonpie I'm very sorry to hear you are back in a wave again.  Please know I'm praying for you.  This Lexapro is a real bear.  It's wonderful that you had some very good windows! I'm sure these other health issues are not helping!  I can't help but wonder if they are what is triggering the wave.  I assume you know what things can worsen your WD, like intense exercise, processed foods, stress and drama, weather fronts and seasonal changes, alcohol, mind altering substances like CBD, THC, etc.  I wish there was something more I could do to help.  Please keep reminding yourself that this is not forever, and someday, this will be over.  

Edited May 30, 2022 by getofflex

[Moonpie]

@getofflex Thank you.  I am not involved in any of those things, other than a lot happening in my life stress wise that  I cannot control.  I wonder if it isn't part WD and part the problem.  

[Ariel]

@Moonpie

Hello! I think this is my first time posting in your thread, but I have long admired the kind, supportive messages you leave for other members around the site. 

 

I am sorry to read of the current wave and ongoing intense dental interventions. My goodness, you are very brave! 

 

10 hours ago, Moonpie said:

I was diagnosed with genitourinary atrophy   post menopausal. 

10 hours ago, Moonpie said:

It went away the week before but is back. 

10 hours ago, Moonpie said:

It isn't as bad as it was but still bothers me.  I was looking on Baylissa Fredricks site and she talked about the urinary and female issues that describe what I am going thru.  And it came on overnight.  So confusing. 

 

I'm sorry you're dealing with this. It sounds very unpleasant, especially the part about dealing with the urologist and invasive allopathic propositions. (Not that you've said that exactly, I guess I just don't trust doctors much at the moment. But I don't want to put that on you! All that matters is whether or not you feel you are in good hands.)

 

Disclaimer: I am not familiar with your entire history and may be missing a lot.

I also am not familiar with what Baylissa Frederick has to say about this. 

 

Nevertheless, something about what you describe reminds me of something I've experienced throughout WD.

So as not to clog up your thread, I have tried to share my thoughts/experience in my own intro topic (for what it's worth); and if you feel like having a look you are very welcome. If not you may ignore as you see fit. 

https://www.survivingantidepressants.org/topic/26637-ariel-protracted-withdrawal-and-paws/?do=findComment&comment=594042

 

 

10 hours ago, Moonpie said:

It is so hard to know what is WD and what isn't. 

 

Ain't that the truth!!

 

10 hours ago, Moonpie said:

So confusing. Very discouraged. Sometimes I wonder if I should even post as I hate to drag others down. 

 

I hear you. It can feel so confusing indeed. I'm sorry you are feeling discouraged. 

 

Please at the very least rest assured that you are more than welcome to post and share your thoughts any time! It doesn't drag me down, and I strongly doubt it drags others down. I'm familiar with that line of thinking, I believe it is the wave talking. WD-brain tells us all sorts of negative things and would probably prefer for us to live in a little cardboard box and never venture out or talk to anyone, ever, just stay inside and fester.

 

I am trying to learn that instead of stewing in my own juices, it can be productive to offer others a sip, haha, or raise my glass to others in a toast, or something! -- and more often than not, the very act of sharing enables the worst of things to evaporate -- poof!

 

Please know that reading your update has been very helpful to me today. Thank you. 

 

10 hours ago, Moonpie said:

I try not to have expectations and I truly believe I will heal. 

 

Yes. No ifs ands buts about it. You will heal and you are healing. Healing is happening all the time, even when we do not consciously feel it!

 

Sending lots of good thoughts in your direction,

In solidarity and support,

A. 

 

 

[getofflex]

9 hours ago, Moonpie said:

other than a lot happening in my life stress wise that  I cannot control.  I wonder if it isn't part WD and part the problem.  

I totally understand that, because that has happened to me quite a bit as well.  Life happens, and we have no control over that.  I've been praying for you quite a bit in the last 12 hours since my previous post.  Remember that the Lord is holding you in His all powerful hands, and He is with you every step of the way through this.  

[Moonpie]

getofflex.  I am sorry I didn't see your message not to tag you. I hope you see this.  I so appreciate your prayers. All my devotionals and Bible studies the last two days have talked about how He never leaves me.  I think sometimes we know that so well that the enormity of it passes us especially in times of suffering.  Thank you so much for your prayers and encouragement.

[Moonpie]

14 hours ago, Ariel said:

Hello! I think this is my first time posting in your thread, but I have long admired the kind, supportive messages you leave for other members around the site. 

Hi @Ariel  Thank you so much for your kinds words. I do truly care about each person here and all they are facing.  So much of the time I am like a little raisin so shriveled up I don't have the encouragement  I want to give others. 

 

14 hours ago, Ariel said:

Nevertheless, something about what you describe reminds me of something I've experienced throughout WD.

I appreciate so much you taking the time to read my thread and encourage me.  You link was very helpful!!!  It is crazy all the things these drugs can do to any part of our body that has nerves and come to think of it what part doesn't!  As Baylissa said, we can't make this stuff up!   I feel much better, not that you suffered by that I am not one of those people that are experiencing a 1 in a million symptom!

 

14 hours ago, Ariel said:

Please at the very least rest assured that you are more than welcome to post and share your thoughts any time! It doesn't drag me down, and I strongly doubt it drags others down

This made me feel so much better.  I don't a lot for this reason.  I am dishing out a bunch of sad woe is me suffering and people come here also for hope.  To hear someone say, " Hey!  I made it to the other side, it's beautiful!"

 

14 hours ago, Ariel said:

Please know that reading your update has been very helpful to me today. Thank you. 

You are so very sweet!  This no only makes me feel better but makes me happy. I would never ever want to be one to drag other down, or hurt them in any way in their journey.

Thank you again! ❤️
 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

[Moonpie]

Positive Update! 

Well I had a lot of bladder discomfort last night.  I woke at 1 a.m. with the fear and anxiety but not as intense. I was able to go back to sleep. 

 

I woke up feeling "ok" then rolled over, Yes!  just rolled over and the anxiety, depression and tight chest hit. It wasn't as severe as it had been but a force to be reckoned with.  I don't even want to get up in the morning but I do. I got out of bed and as I got around it eased.  

 

Bladder issues have been mild to none today, anxiety and depression a mild under current to almost none. My tooth has throbbed a little today but I haven't had to take ibuprophen.  It's either one end or the other acting up LOL

 

Why why why can't I learn no matter how rough the wave is it will end and there will be a window of relief. Not perfect but so much better than the previous days.  When the suffering gets so intense out the window this goes.  I guess you can't teach an old dog new tricks lol.  Afternoon the anxiety is a little bit stronger but nothing compared to the last 6 days!  A day can make the world of difference, it is just hanging on the for that day. Words I will need to have repeated back to me in the future I am sure. 

 

Wanted to share something good. 

 

A note to everyone, the pity party had been canceled, I am putting away the balloons and streamers for another one.  There was no cake and ice cream because we all can't have sweets!  lol

[getofflex]

Moon pie, I'm so very happy to read this!  Perhaps you could print this off, and reread it, when you have another wave.  I very much understand how discouraging a wave can be, and it can be so all encompassing, we feel we will always be this way.  You were in a pretty bad way, so no beating yourself up over this, OK?  We will have a party with all the fixin's when you recover from this.