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Nikki74: Lexapro mirtazapine diazepam akathisia

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wantrelief

Hi Nikki - What Alto said is so true, you have been so very brave.  I am really sorry for all you have gone through and am really hoping reducing the Lexapro helps.  Thinking about you - WR.

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manymoretodays
On 7/1/2018 at 10:59 AM, Nikki74 said:

i reduced this morning to 2.5mg and had a slightly less severe reaction and the benzo wasn’t as severe either.

 

But I can feel wds kicking in already I think. Strange concrete lump feeling at back of my head. Panicky but I was anyway. Akathisia remains but no frantic pacing today.

 

Im just scared about the coming days having made this cut. 

 

 

Hi Nikki,

 

Some improvement on day one.  Let's focus on that.  Stay in each day.  And that's wonderful that you already felt a "less severe reaction" to both the Lexapro and benzo!! 

 

This is what I've got for your daily medication log right now:

8:15 am- Lexapro 2.5 mg

9:00 am- clonazepam 0.43 mg

5:00 pm- clonazepam 0.375 mg

11:00 pm- mirtazepine 15 mg

 

Try and do the daily logs once more including the above, with symptoms(descriptions are great as to what you feel......e.g. strange concrete lump feeling at the back of my headB))  It's possible you may just hit a real tired type feeling after all the recent activation.  However........try and give us an update every couple days.  I have noticed that you often disappear for a month or so.

 

You have made some progress in the past year........given a difficult medication combination to begin with.  And you do have the additional situational changes that do tend to occur for many of us during this often trying time.  Have faith........even if it's just in those of us who have traveled this path before you and made it to the other side!

 

Use your skills right now, and do call on any "on the ground" people that you can check in with too.  Just tell them you are having adverse medication reactions if that helps and that you may need a bit of extra kindness and compassion right now.  Is your landlady living where you live?  And then do you still do your outing once a week?  Human interaction can be so very helpful.

 

Love, peace, healing, and growth,

mmt

 

 

 

 

 

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Nikki74
On 7/3/2018 at 5:40 PM, manymoretodays said:

 

Hi Nikki,

 

Some improvement on day one.  Let's focus on that.  Stay in each day.  And that's wonderful that you already felt a "less severe reaction" to both the Lexapro and benzo!! 

 

This is what I've got for your daily medication log right now:

8:15 am- Lexapro 2.5 mg

9:00 am- clonazepam 0.43 mg

5:00 pm- clonazepam 0.375 mg

11:00 pm- mirtazepine 15 mg

 

Try and do the daily logs once more including the above, with symptoms(descriptions are great as to what you feel......e.g. strange concrete lump feeling at the back of my headB))  It's possible you may just hit a real tired type feeling after all the recent activation.  However........try and give us an update every couple days.  I have noticed that you often disappear for a month or so.

 

Sorry not to have updated sooner. With house move coming up and so many symptoms including severe fatigue I’m not on top of this.

 

I ended up going with a 10% cut as of last Monday. So cut 50% Sunday, then panicked and did 10% since then.

 

Im sorry. Feel like a failure. I wanted to see how 10% affected me first. Will update signature.

 

So the instant adverse reaction is now less but it takes 30-45 minutes to start ramping up. I’ve moved the benzo to an hour after taking the lexapro (just 15 min time change) so I can gauge the reaction to the lexapro better.

 

I’m getting withdrawals kicking in now more noticeably. Especially mental symptoms like increase in ocd, dr, waves of depression (though I had that anyway), some terror, general eeriness. Anxiety, dizziness, fatigue worse, cognitive slowness... but all of these I’ve had whenever I’ve made a reduction in the benzo.

 

I am hoping I can reduce again before too long as I am getting this adverse reaction though as I say it’s not as instant. 

 

On Saturday afternoon I had a spell of severe akathisia. Then it died down (1-4pm). Akathisia still present all day as it has been for the past year. But aside from Saturday afternoon so far it’s not gone severe since the cut, though I feel the wds ramping up and am concerned as this cut progresses what will happen... though of course taking the pill sends it up too.

 

I will try to write more later with more detail and to respond to your other questions.

 

This is all very scary - reactions and withdrawals.

 

Nikki xxx

On 7/3/2018 at 5:40 PM, manymoretodays said:

You have made some progress in the past year........given a difficult medication combination to begin with.  And you do have the additional situational changes that do tend to occur for many of us during this often trying time.  Have faith........even if it's just in those of us who have traveled this path before you and made it to the other side!

 

Use your skills right now, and do call on any "on the ground" people that you can check in with too.  Just tell them you are having adverse medication reactions if that helps and that you may need a bit of extra kindness and compassion right now.  Is your landlady living where you live?  And then do you still do your outing once a week?  Human interaction can be so very helpful.

 

Love, peace, healing, and growth,

mmt

 

 

 

 

 

 

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Nikki74

Just an update on drugs:

 

8.15 4.5mg lexapro 

9.15 .43 clonazepam 

5pm .375 clonazepam 

11pm 15mg Mirtazipine 

 

I hope you’re not angry I didn’t stick with 50% cut. I do clearly need to get off the Lexapro as reaction is so obvious. 

 

How long would you expect full wd from the cut I made to hit? Hard to distinguish adverse effects from wd as the day progresses.

 

 

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Nikki74
On 7/1/2018 at 6:16 PM, wantrelief said:

Hi Nikki - What Alto said is so true, you have been so very brave.  I am really sorry for all you have gone through and am really hoping reducing the Lexapro helps.  Thinking about you - WR.

Thank you so much WR, that’s so very kind. Love x

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manymoretodays
On 7/9/2018 at 3:16 AM, Nikki74 said:

 

Sorry not to have updated sooner. With house move coming up and so many symptoms including severe fatigue I’m not on top of this.

 

I ended up going with a 10% cut as of last Monday. So cut 50% Sunday, then panicked and did 10% since then.

 

Im sorry. Feel like a failure. I wanted to see how 10% affected me first. Will update signature.

 

So the instant adverse reaction is now less but it takes 30-45 minutes to start ramping up. I’ve moved the benzo to an hour after taking the lexapro (just 15 min time change) so I can gauge the reaction to the lexapro better.

 

I’m getting withdrawals kicking in now more noticeably. Especially mental symptoms like increase in ocd, dr, waves of depression (though I had that anyway), some terror, general eeriness. Anxiety, dizziness, fatigue worse, cognitive slowness... but all of these I’ve had whenever I’ve made a reduction in the benzo.

 

I am hoping I can reduce again before too long as I am getting this adverse reaction though as I say it’s not as instant. 

 

On Saturday afternoon I had a spell of severe akathisia. Then it died down (1-4pm). Akathisia still present all day as it has been for the past year. But aside from Saturday afternoon so far it’s not gone severe since the cut, though I feel the wds ramping up and am concerned as this cut progresses what will happen... though of course taking the pill sends it up too.

 

I will try to write more later with more detail and to respond to your other questions.

 

This is all very scary - reactions and withdrawals.

 

Nikki xxx

 

Hi Nikki,

No.  Never a failure. 

You've gone a week now.  And no severe panic???!!!!  Awesome.  I don't think it is going to get a whole lot worse........let's get to 10 days - 2 weeks out though before any further changes.

 

And are you doing the inexact shave method or IES method plus weighing?  I know you have a decent scale that you use for your benzo.

Would you want to try and go to the homemade liquid now?  You could do a minimal crossover........I'll go over that with you if interested.  The biggest change after crossing over cautiously.......... I think is that you will just absorb your dose a bit faster than you do now and what you call the "instant adverse reaction" may occur sooner than the 30-45 minutes.

 

I imagine some of the cog fog and slowness is due to the benzo as well.  And the 15 minute change is fine with your benzo dosing.  Sounds like you are observing carefully.

Yay on the instant adverse reaction being less.  And from what I can glean is that most of your symptoms haven't changed much at all.  That's good........I mean not great I'm sure as you are in it, but what I'm saying is nothing is significantly worse.........B)  Sometimes being okay with not being okay is actually super okay........

 

Let me see what you want to do going forward........because if we cross over to a homemade solution........I'd advise you holding until we've got that done. 

If you don't want to go that way........then that's fine.  Meantime.........I'm going to just research a bit as far as when to best advise you to go down to 4 mg.

 

Thank you for posting and updating.  I hear your fear and that's okay.........understandable..........just give it it's time, don't feed it too much or give it your finest tea.......

Are you excited about your upcoming move?

 

Love, peace, healing, and growth,

mmt

 

 

 

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Nikki74
1 hour ago, manymoretodays said:

Hi Nikki,

No.  Never a failure. 

You've gone a week now.  And no severe panic???!!!!  Awesome.  I don't think it is going to get a whole lot worse........let's get to 10 days - 2 weeks out though before any further changes.

 

Today i I woke with bad akathisia, took the lexapro and it was actually making me a bit drowsy, the severe reaction didn’t happen but the akathisia was bad anyway.

 

I took the benzo, got a little respite, then I’ve had severe akathisia all day, so unbelievably intense. 

 

It had lowered a bit overall since last Tuesday til today (apart from the awful Saturday afternoon).

 

So I don’t know if this is now withdrawal akathisia but it’s really bad. I don’t understand why it lowered somewhat and now bam it’s off the charts. 

 

This happened when I last cut the benzo, everything lowered for 9 days then bam! Crazy akathisia getting worse over the weeks until this lexapro adverse reaction really ramped up.

1 hour ago, manymoretodays said:

And are you doing the inexact shave method or IES method plus weighing?  I know you have a decent scale that you use for your benzo.

Would you want to try and go to the homemade liquid now?  You could do a minimal crossover........I'll go over that with you if interested.  The biggest change after crossing over cautiously.......... I think is that you will just absorb your dose a bit faster than you do now and what you call the "instant adverse reaction" may occur sooner than the 30-45 minutes.

 

I imagine some of the cog fog and slowness is due to the benzo as well.  And the 15 minute change is fine with your benzo dosing.  Sounds like you are observing carefully.

Yay on the instant adverse reaction being less.  And from what I can glean is that most of your symptoms haven't changed much at all.  That's good........I mean not great I'm sure as you are in it, but what I'm saying is nothing is significantly worse.........B)  Sometimes being okay with not being okay is actually super okay........

 

1 hour ago, manymoretodays said:

Let me see what you want to do going forward........because if we cross over to a homemade solution........I'd advise you holding until we've got that done. 

If you don't want to go that way........then that's fine.  Meantime.........I'm going to just research a bit as far as when to best advise you to go down to 4 mg.

 

Im happy to stick with dry cutting using my scales for now.

1 hour ago, manymoretodays said:

Thank you for posting and updating.  I hear your fear and that's okay.........understandable..........just give it it's time, don't feed it too much or give it your finest tea.......

Are you excited about your upcoming move?

 

Love, peace, healing, and growth,

mmt

 

 

 

I wish I was excited. I normally would be. But akathisia is so bad I’m very low. Plus I suffer extreme fatigue so am so limited.

 

Not feeling much hope right now tbh mmt 😢 xxxx

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Altostrata
On 7/9/2018 at 2:47 AM, Nikki74 said:

Just an update on drugs:

 

8.15 4.5mg lexapro 

9.15 .43 clonazepam 

5pm .375 clonazepam 

11pm 15mg Mirtazipine 

 

I hope you’re not angry I didn’t stick with 50% cut. I do clearly need to get off the Lexapro as reaction is so obvious. 

 

How long would you expect full wd from the cut I made to hit? Hard to distinguish adverse effects from wd as the day progresses.

 

 

 

Hi, Nikki. Did you get scared about making a largish cut in Lexapro?

 

Is 4.5mg a 10% reduction from your prior Lexapro dosage of 5mg? Was Monday the first day you took 4.5mg?

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Nikki74
11 minutes ago, Altostrata said:

 

Hi, Nikki. Did you get scared about making a largish cut in Lexapro?

 

Is 4.5mg a 10% reduction from your prior Lexapro dosage of 5mg? Was Monday the first day you took 4.5mg?

Hi Alto

 

I did get scared.

 

I realise now I made that 2% cut in February but I wonder if I was shaving off any more than just the coating for that. So I have reduced to 4.5mg

 

Yes Monday was the first day I took 4.5mg

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Altostrata

Let's give it a few days. If you get a bad reaction from the Lexapro again, you might want to make another 10% cut, if you feel safer with that.

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Nikki74
13 minutes ago, Altostrata said:

Let's give it a few days. If you get a bad reaction from the Lexapro again, you might want to make another 10% cut, if you feel safer with that.

Ok thank you

 

I was speaking to the benzo charity I phone and told them of my situation with the lexapro and they completely dismissed that you could get a severe reaction so fast to a drug. Within minutes. I said even when a bit of the powder hit my tongue my arm started twitching. They said it must be psychological and that 5mg wouldn’t do such a thing. It made me doubt myself. You know these drugs Alto, I’m not ‘creating’ such a reaction am I? It seems impossible to have all the things I’ve had when I take it (including instant diahrrea, sorry!) and it be ‘me’.

 

Thank you for your support

 

Nikki

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Altostrata

Nikki, the benzo organization may not know anything about other drugs.

 

You've done an excellent job of reporting your symptoms. It seems that Lexapro is too activating for you now. Let's see if this slight reduction was enough.

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Nikki74
21 minutes ago, Altostrata said:

Nikki, the benzo organization may not know anything about other drugs.

 

You've done an excellent job of reporting your symptoms. It seems that Lexapro is too activating for you now. Let's see if this slight reduction was enough.

Ok.

 

The akathisia has been severe today though. Even if reducing an activating drug, the akathisia won’t necessarily respond with lessening I assume and can be worsened by wd as much as an adverse reaction? 

 

Well it did start constantly after cting pregabalin and the lexapro last June so I can’t imagine how it will go.

 

I’m rambling. It’s just horrific when so severe and miserable but about copeable when lower.

 

Will see what happens the next few days.

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Nikki74

I had a broken and very sweaty night. Still it was about 8 hours broken sleep. Vivid dreams.

 

8am got up with adrenaline surges and akathisia on the rise, heart pounding

 

8.15 4.5mg lexapro 

some reduction in agitation and felt drowsy but too restless to stay still, no severe reaction but akathisia very evident (internal agitation, toxic feeling through body, can’t be still), heart still pounding, have to rub feet together 

 

9.15 .43 clonazepam 

surge in adrenaline after taking

9.30 heart rate lowering a bit

9.45 some reduction in akathisia but not a lot

10.35 hands shaking, heart rate increasing and akathisia increasing 

 

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Nikki74

11am muscle in right arm twitching, right leg kicks out involuntarily, internal shaking, hands and arms shaking, heart rate up. 

 

12.30 some muscle twitching continues. Restless akathisia but not severe like yesterday... so far...

 

2pm so far no severe akathisia like yesterday

 

2.30pm extreme fatigue, jaw twitching, inner agitation rising, shaky 

 

3.15pm head squeezing, severe fatigue, all over agitation, heart rate up

 

4.30 akathisia rising and hands and arms shaking. Fatigue bad but not as severe. Adrenaline going.

 

5pm .375 clonazepam 

Agitation lowers for the evening though present as is usual restlessness. 

Some head squeezing and mental symptoms 

 

overall nowhere near as horrific as yesterday. The akathisia is like a ticking bomb, never know when it’s going to go off big time.

 

 

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Carmie

Hi Nikki, 

 

Glad to see you had a day where the akathisia was a bit more bearable. It certainly is one of the worst symptoms. 

 

I’m sooo sorry you have this symptom all the time, wish I could take it away for you. I know you have CFS like me too, withdrawals make it a lot worse as both the withdrawals and CFS are CNS problems. One exacerbates the other. 

 

One of these days we will be rid of all of these horrible symptoms. It’s no consolation now when we go through things like akathisia but it does give us a bit of a spark of hope. 

 

Sending you big hugs🤗🤗

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Nikki74
9 hours ago, Carmie said:

Hi Nikki, 

 

Glad to see you had a day where the akathisia was a bit more bearable. It certainly is one of the worst symptoms. 

 

I’m sooo sorry you have this symptom all the time, wish I could take it away for you. I know you have CFS like me too, withdrawals make it a lot worse as both the withdrawals and CFS are CNS problems. One exacerbates the other. 

 

One of these days we will be rid of all of these horrible symptoms. It’s no consolation now when we go through things like akathisia but it does give us a bit of a spark of hope. 

 

Sending you big hugs🤗🤗

Thank you Carmie xxx back up today xxxx yes it’s all just awful xxx

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Nikki74

Broken sleep, woke several times but still 7-8 hours.

 

akathisia low on waking, depressed, diahrrea 

8.15 4.5mg lex, no severe reaction but some muscle twitching and worse diahrrea within half an hour. Akathisia increasing also but not extreme.

 

9.15 .43 clonazepam 

akathisia surged up within 10 minutes, pacing, heart pounding, some muscle twitching 

 

I had this before, then it stopped, now this reaction is back again!!

 

I do not understand 😥

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Nikki74

10.30 totally opposite effect and drowsy, drunk feeling. Eyes heavy. Body weak. Depressed.

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Carmie
22 hours ago, Nikki74 said:

Thank you Carmie xxx back up today xxxx yes it’s all just awful xxx

 

Im sooo sorry Nikki, sending you massive big hugs🤗🤗🤗🤗🤗

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Nikki74

The akathisia was severe again yesterday afternoon from about 2-4.30 then it eased off to more tolerable levels.

 

My nights are becoming more broken, waking 2 or 3 times.

 

Woke with agitation and diarrhea 

8.15 4.5mg lexapro 

8.30 muscles twitching in both arms, right leg involuntary movement, shaking all over, back of head slight burning 

8.45 continues, shaking all over

leg thigh muscles twitching when I sit

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Nikki74

I’m really struggling to see my way out of this mess. My body is wracked with akathisia and adverse effects. 

 

Taken the .43 clonazepam and still twitching and unable to be still for long, as has been the way for so long now, still shaking inside and out. I’ve been itching too since taking the lexapro.

 

I don’t know what to do anymore.

 

moving house in two weeks and can barely manage a few phone calls. Agitation and severe fatigue.

 

Is there hope for me? 

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Nikki74

Taking the lexapro is making me itch now. I noticed this started yesterday in addition to the other adverse effects. This happens within 15-20 minutes of me taking it. Plus muscle twitching, shaking and adrenaline surge, heart rate increase, akathisia increase.

 

i slept better last night.

 

Im wondering whether to drop another .5mg or even 1mg soon?

 

Although I have the house move on the 25th and the stress before and after that.

 

 

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Nikki74

Seriously don’t know how much longer I can exist with the akathisia without doing something drastic with these drugs. I know it doesn’t make sense. But I’m so done with taking all this stuff and knowing the akathisia cannot heal on this cocktail. It’s despair talking. 

 

Lying under my heat pad and weighted blanket squirming around in agitation seeing no end, every day. 

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Littlegrandma

Nikki

im sorry you are suffering so. I know exactly what you’re going through and my heart goes out to you. 

I wish I could help you or had words of comfort. I just wanted you to know that I’m rooting for you and praying you get relief soon. Unfortunately, that’s all I have to offer. xx 

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