Nikki74: Lexapro mirtazapine diazepam akathisia

[Nikki74]

21 hours ago, manymoretodays said:

 

Hi Niks,

The leveling out that I refer to........is just in regard to trying to get through a few days, a week, and then more after the escitalopram tapers.

The one thing that I think, is in your favor.......that was not present, back when I did an ill advised, non advised taper with the same medication........escitalopram(Lexapro) is that you are on clonazepam now.  I was just on escitalopram at the time of my own somewhat impulsive, taper. 

The clonazepam can actually act as somewhat of a buffer, for you now.......when you taper the escitalopram again.  That's a good thing.

 

The August taper........the .25 mg one you did..........was during the moving time and your absence from here.  Don't despair however, I mean I've done some of the same.........made decisions around tapering, at the worst possible times.  You had a lot of other factors influencing your nervous system then.

Going forward.......even just a little........is there a time that you can control for other factors of major change coming up?  Or maybe that is now?

 

Do post a good old drug and symptom, coping skills, journal soon........I, for one, want to see where you are at with the clonazepam schedule now.  And if mornings are going, if not better.......well at least predictably.

 

We could just work on a cross over to home made liquid, if you can get your supplies from storage soon........if you want to do that first.  And then let's get you going with getting on off, or at least down in dosage with the escitalopram/Lexapro.  I mean I don't know for sure......but it sure seems like some of your symptoms, could be from the awful medication interactions, and side effects of that.

 

All for now,

L, P, H, and growth,

mmt

 

Thanks mmt

 

Im going to post journal later hopefully.

 

Things are not good with the clonazepam at all. It set me off like a rocket all day, intensifying the akathisia beyond words. 

 

My dosing of it has been difficult to achieve even doses so here is what I’ve had to set on:

 

10am .25 clonazepam

1pm .25 clonazepam

5pm .25 clonazepam

8pm .05 clonazepam

 

As the pills in half are .25 mg, chopping them to .20 and getting four doses to weigh the right amount for my daily dose has been pretty much impossible, especially with shaking hands and agitated brain and body. I’m sorry.

 

I don’t find it works as a buffer  

 

Unfortunately, stress is a constant as a single mum to a teenager embarking on his exam year. Also my beloved pet dog is very ill and this is hanging over me, knowing I’ll have to make a decision sometime to let her go.

 

Im really very bad akathisia wise all the time and especially with the clonazepam doing extreme stuff.  You think this could be a drug interaction? 

 

I’ll post a journal later for you.

 

Thanks mmt, Nikki xxx

Edited October 3, 2018 by manymoretodays
removed white space in quote

[Nikki74]

I have to say, since spreading doses out, I’m suffering much more. Getting hit four times a day with taking this drug is really messing with me. 

[Nikki74]

Slept 7 hour

akathisia increases as Mirtazipine wears off

8am 4.5 mg lexapro 

subtle but clear increase in agitation inside, need to move more, agitation mentally and intrusive thoughts 

10am .25 clonazepam 

10.30 massive adrenaline surge, burning in chest from agitation, confusion, panic, severe akathisia, intrusive thoughts increase, frantic pacing for 3 hours, terror

1pm .25 clonazepam 

The above reactions continues

3.30pm things die down, can sit uncomfortably 

4pm pacing again but less intense

5pm .25 clonazepam 

some sedation but not much, depression, tears, can’t focus on anything, panicky/agitated brain, dinner takes 2 hours to make due to intense discomfort and inability to think clearly.

Finally eat at 8pm

8pm .05 clonazepam 

Finally able to sit for a bit, but so uncomfortable and terror surges I go to bed with heated blanket.

 

Listen to relaxing piano music with waterfall video on youtube

 

feel uncomfortable with agitation  but contained in my bed

 

11pm 15mg Mirtazipine 

[manymoretodays]

Oh Nikki,

So sorry to hear about your dog.  Hugs.

And I hope your son does well on his exams.   I had been assuming that he was just a wee lad........thanks for sharing.  

Stress doesn't have to be a constant........I mean I know it's tough, but the neuroemotions often make everything intensified. 

It's good that you can be supportive of your son.  That's a great thing.  Maybe the fact that it's a "constant stress" will make it be less stress??  Do what you can, when you can to help him with his studies.........and then also do your best to take care of yourself.  Prioritize that.  Self care.  It can be hard.......oh, I know.......the struggle at times to be the Mom you want to be, when you just can't be, due to W/D or medications.  I went through that too.

 

The Lexapro and mirtazapine have major interactions with each other, as you are aware of. Drugs.com  You can plug your drugs in there again, if you'd like.

I have a hard time knowing which symptoms that you are having, are due to what......exactly.  You've got different factors at play, I think, that cause your symptoms.

 

 

That's why your logs are so helpful to us too......in trying to ascertain, what to suggest that you work on.

Best, Love, peace, healing, and growth,

mmt

 

Edited October 4, 2018 by manymoretodays
added link

[Nikki74]

2 hours ago, manymoretodays said:

Oh Nikki,

So sorry to hear about your dog.  Hugs.

And I hope your son does well on his exams.   I had been assuming that he was just a wee lad........thanks for sharing.  

Stress doesn't have to be a constant........I mean I know it's tough, but the neuroemotions often make everything intensified. 

It's good that you can be supportive of your son.  That's a great thing.  Maybe the fact that it's a "constant stress" will make it be less stress??  Do what you can, when you can to help him with his studies.........and then also do your best to take care of yourself.  Prioritize that.  Self care.  It can be hard.......oh, I know.......the struggle at times to be the Mom you want to be, when you just can't be, due to W/D or medications.  I went through that too.

 

The Lexapro and mirtazapine have major interactions with each other, as you are aware of. Drugs.com  You can plug your drugs in there again, if you'd like.

I have a hard time knowing which symptoms that you are having, are due to what......exactly.  You've got different factors at play, I think, that cause your symptoms.

 

 

That's why your logs are so helpful to us too......in trying to ascertain, what to suggest that you work on.

Best, Love, peace, healing, and growth,

mmt

 

Mmt

 

I’m totally confused by it all and dread taking the lexapro AND Klonopin, I never know what I’ll get with the Klonopin, it’s been acting up pretty much since I started it end of January.

 

I have had akathisia constantly for 15 months now but gaba drugs seem to have caused more problems. The use of Zopiclone made it so much worse,  then the akathisia went severe in January and the diazepam was doing nothing to sedate for more than half an hour or it revved it up, now the Klonopin. 

 

If it weren’t for the question over the Lexapro I’d be tapering off the Klonopin no doubt.

 

Even though any cut makes the akathisia worse. Of course.

 

But I’m really in hell with this all the time and with the Klonopin so often paradoxical.

 

I don’t understand 😞

[Altostrata]

On 10/2/2018 at 10:46 AM, Nikki74 said:

10am .25 clonazepam

1pm .25 clonazepam

5pm .25 clonazepam

8pm .05 clonazepam

 

How long have you been on this schedule? Please talk to Shep about making a liquid for some of those doses, at least, so you can get a better spread.

 

It's looking to me that going off Lexapro would be a good idea, Nikki. I know you are in turmoil all the time, you have been very brave and determined.

 

When your clonazepam schedule gets settled, do you think you can take on reducing Lexapro? It may be bumpy, but the Lexapro is adding to your symptoms as it is now.

[Nikki74]

12 hours ago, Altostrata said:

 

How long have you been on this schedule? Please talk to Shep about making a liquid for some of those doses, at least, so you can get a better spread.

 

It's looking to me that going off Lexapro would be a good idea, Nikki. I know you are in turmoil all the time, you have been very brave and determined.

 

When your clonazepam schedule gets settled, do you think you can take on reducing Lexapro? It may be bumpy, but the Lexapro is adding to your symptoms as it is now.

Hi Alto

Ive been taking it like this for a week but can try to even them out by dry cutting. 

 

I feel its quite urgent that I reduce the lexapro as it is definitely increasing the akathisia when i take it. 

 

Though the benzo is doing paradoxical and strange things and I feel terrible taking it.

 

I get a real surge in my head and body when I take the Lexapro even though I already have the akathisia round the clock.

 

How would I proceed with cutting the Lexapro?

 

Things have been worse since my .5mg reduction but as you say and as I experience, it’s definitely making things worse taking it.

 

I feel quite hopeless and scared as either way, things get worse. And when I tried the .25mg cut in August the wds hit me within 24 hours with extreme panic and terror. Plus I get the diahrrea when I cut it. Head squeezing etc.

 

I need to know there’s hope for me.

 

Is there any benefit in coming off this faster than normal? It’s really messing me up taking it I know that.

 

Thank you. Nikki 

 

PS if I got this constantly from coming off lyrica and lexapro ct, what is the hope it’ll heal by coming off the lexapro again? I just read Dr Shipko said akathisia from ssri wd can last for 7-8 years. I can’t cope with that. 

 

I know I really need off this though and the benzo. 

Edited October 5, 2018 by Nikki74

[Nikki74]

Slept 7 hours

woke to usual akathisia rising, stronger than normal. Diahrrea.

8am 4.5mg lexapro 

akathisia surged up badly, particularly agitation and burning in the back of my head, terror, awful akathisia 

10am .25mg clonazepam 

terror increased, but didn’t pace so much today, still very agitated, waves of terror and crying

 

1pm .25mg clonazepam 

tears, body shaking, some twitching in thumbs, hands shaking

then eased off

 

Restless and tearful

 

2.30-3.30 extreme weakness, panic, dizziness, akathisia surged up, general feeling of being very unwell physically and extremely uncomfortable with agitation and panic. Felt like I wanted to run away or like I was going to lose control of my limbs. Also a feeling like I was going to lose control of my bowels. 

 

3.30-5pm eased off and left with restlessness 

 

5pm .25mg clonazepam 

will complete notes at bedtime. 

[Altostrata]

7 hours ago, Nikki74 said:

Things have been worse since my .5mg reduction but as you say and as I experience, it’s definitely making things worse taking it.

 

You will need to get your clonazepam schedule settled. Is there a reason you can't use a liquid? That would make measuring easier.

 

Once that is taken care of, I would cut Lexapro by 0.5mg, so your dosage would be 4.0mg. Please let us know how you're doing. Hang in there.

[Nikki74]

15 minutes ago, Altostrata said:

 

You will need to get your clonazepam schedule settled. Is there a reason you can't use a liquid? That would make measuring easier.

 

Once that is taken care of, I would cut Lexapro by 0.5mg, so your dosage would be 4.0mg. Please let us know how you're doing. Hang in there.

Ok

 

Im just too scared to change anything else like going to liquid. That’s my honest answer! 

 

Is it ‘normal’ for a cut from something like lexapro to hit very fast and hard? Like when I tried the .25mg cut in August I was feeling it later that same day and certainly within 36 hours. The panic and terror were beyond anything I’ve experienced so far, even after cting it! 

 

Do you think I can do this and get off? 

 

Thanks Alto, Nikki

[Altostrata]

Since you're having an adverse reaction to Lexapro, I would expect your body to be relieved when you reduce the dosage, Nikki.

 

Think very carefully: Is it possible you scared yourself? If so, you will need to listen to your body rather than your worry, your body might say it's doing a bit better when you reduce Lexapro.

[Nikki74]

9 minutes ago, Altostrata said:

Since you're having an adverse reaction to Lexapro, I would expect your body to be relieved when you reduce the dosage, Nikki.

 

Think very carefully: Is it possible you scared yourself? If so, you will need to listen to your body rather than your worry, your body might say it's doing a bit better when you reduce Lexapro.

Tough one Alto.

i honestly wasn’t expecting it to be so bad, I thought it would be like the first cut, which took a while to hit me.

 

The panic was definitely chemical and I was shaking badly. Also major DR.

 

yes, you’d hope reducing the dose would improve things but a month after that reduction, the akathisia just got much worse. I don’t know why this is? It’s been downhill since then. I’d love to know why! 

 

Just at the end end of the first month I had an afternoon where I felt so me! The akathisia just lowered so much and I felt this clarity! Then it went.

 

The drastic adverse reaction I had been getting definitely improved. But like I say, the akathisia and also a sort of feeling of being lobotomised has been worsened. Like I can’t think at all sometimes and total mind blanks. That was all a month after that first cut. It’s been a really intense two months (August and September and now into October) since.

 

Maybe it’s the adverse reaction rather than wds though? 

 

 

[Altostrata]

I don't know, Nikki, there are a lot of variables.

 

Perhaps you should think in terms of a 2.5mg reduction, instead of 5mg.

[ChessieCat]

7 minutes ago, Altostrata said:

Perhaps you should think in terms of a 2.5mg reduction, instead of 5mg.

 

Is this coorect?

 

8 hours ago, Altostrata said:

I would cut Lexapro by 0.5mg, so your dosage would be 4.0mg.

 

[Altostrata]

Oh my goodness, I'm sorry, Nikki. I meant 0.25mg instead of 0.5mg.

 

Thank you for catching this, ChessieCat the watchful one.

[manymoretodays]

Hey Nikki,

Just thinking about you.  Went on in for my own yearly physical exam today.  I do so like my GP, and I'll give a report on my own thread soon.

However......this might help both of us.......he, my doctor suggested just going down one cigarette a week to me.  And I mean, that's me.  So maybe for you......just a reduction of 1 a month or so??  Idk.  I just HATE CANCER very much right now.  Not that tobacco is the sole cause or anything........

Okay.  Update when you can or will.

Love, peace, healing, and growth,

ugh hugs

mmt 

[Nikki74]

Thank you mmt 

 

I made a .25mg lexapro cut on Saturday 13th October

 

The adverse reaction lowered for a few days and now it’s getting worse again.

 

The akathisia has not lowered overall. I have had more mental terror/ mental akathisia since cutting. 

 

I have continued to have adverse reactions to many doses of the Klonopin.

 

This morning I took the lexapro and as well as increased akathisia, panic, terror, diahrrea and heartrate (I wake with the akathisia anyway), my throat has been spasming inside. 

 

I have diahrrea before I take it and then more after. 

 

Ive also been getting itching the last three days after dosing the lexapro and through the day. 

 

I can’t see my way out of this hell.

 

dosing

8am 4.25mg lexapro 

10am .25 benzo

1pm .25 benzo 

5pm .30 benzo I changed from 4 doses back to 3 as it brings more relief in the evening to take it like this

11pm 15mg Mirtazipine 

 

 

 

 

 

 

[Nikki74]

Journal examples 

 

Sleep 7 hours

wake with panic and akathisia, intrusive and looping thoughts  

8am 4.25 lex

aka increases, heart rate rises, panic increases, diahrrea, throat spasm inside, itching, terror, intrusive thoughts 

 

10am .25 Klonopin 

shaking

akathisia and panic, head shakes

reaction to Klonopin dies down after an hour

 

very uncomfortable, general physical weakness, dizziness, some numbness in body

 

1pm .25 Klonopin 

depression, tears, body shaking, teeth chatter, need to rock in bed

 

dies down after an hour

 

3pm increase in agitation 

 

lowers around 4.30

 

5pm .30 Klonopin 

sedation, still have akathisia but sedated, depression, very slow mentally, some numbness in body

 

restless all evening but less intense

 

10.30 bed

11pm 15mg Mirtazipine 

 

sleep 7 hours

wake with numbness in face, panic and dizziness, akathisia and diahrrea 

 

8am 4.25mg lexapro 

reaction as above but numbness alleviated by taking dose

 

10am .25mg Klonopin 

Severe reaction, intense akathisia, terror and suicidal intrusive thoughts very intense, pacing and crying, cannot think, hysterical, lasted an hour and a half (this happened also when I was dosing the .20), rage, violent feeling 

 

1pm .25 Klonopin

1.30 dry retching 

 

akathisia reduced a bit by dose

 

3.30 increase in agitation 

 

very weak and dizzy

 

5pm .30 Klonopin 

sedation but depression, usual restless evening 

 

10.30 bed

11pm 15mg Mirtazipine 

 

 

 

[manymoretodays]

7 hours ago, Nikki74 said:

Thank you mmt 

 

I made a .25mg lexapro cut on Saturday 13th October

 

The adverse reaction lowered for a few days and now it’s getting worse again.

 

The akathisia has not lowered overall. I have had more mental terror/ mental akathisia since cutting. 

 

I have continued to have adverse reactions to many doses of the Klonopin.

 

This morning I took the lexapro and as well as increased akathisia, panic, terror, diahrrea and heartrate (I wake with the akathisia anyway), my throat has been spasming inside. 

 

I have diahrrea before I take it and then more after. 

 

Ive also been getting itching the last three days after dosing the lexapro and through the day.  

 

 

Hi Nikki!

And okay. 

11-12 days now after your 0.25 mg decrease in Lexapro.

Thank you for the drug and symptom journal/logs as well.

7 hours ago, Nikki74 said:

Ive also been getting itching the last three days after dosing the lexapro and through the day. 

 

And oh man.......it does sound very intense right now.  I'm just going to focus on in on some of the symptoms you mentioned now.  Dry wretching, itching skin, and more GI....diarrhea.  And I'm hopeful Nikki......that some of these symptoms will decrease in the coming days going forward.  Oh, and the spasming you describe in your throat- is it like gagging?

I know it's difficult and yet, I commend you, once again for taking the time to post and organize!

When you can, please do post some more in your journal/logs........like you did before.........with coping skills that you used.  What you are eating or even just meal times.  And the darn cigarettes!!!  All within the nice, concise......time on the left, then drug(s), dosages, symptoms........just add on in what you tried(or used as coping skills), to alleviate, some of the worst at that moment.

 

Is the season notably changing there, across the pond?  I often experience skin changes during one of the season changes myself.......sometimes it's Spring, other times it occurs in the Fall.  I laugh........as, I have a dear friend, who once gifted me with some grainy stuff to use with baths or showers.........we would refer to it as exfoliating time!!!  Skin shedding and turnover.  Lot's of lotion for me always now too.......as I am living in a pretty arid/dry climate.  And so........maybe you can relate and it's seasonal exfoliating time.

 

And I remember itchy skin with anxiety/fears, used to crop up as a symptom for me too.  That was often more related to future tripping and sometimes just social anxiety?  Sometimes, it WAS directly related to inner agitation that I too, experienced, with some of my going on and off drugs or changes in them. 

 

I think you are doing it Nikki.  Doing it.........all things considered, bearing some excruciating discomforts now.  And doing the best that you can under the circumstances.  So a little applause for yourself is in order.

 

And like I said.......my hope, my wish, my belief right now.......is that this very well, may level out real soon.  As you are almost at 2 weeks since your Lexapro reduction.

I, for one, very much appreciate your update.

 

Hugs, Love, peace, healing, and growth,

mmt

 

Edited October 25, 2018 by manymoretodays
punctuation, grammar, clarity

[Altostrata]

Nikki, it seems to me going off the Lexapro is the right direction.

 

However, we were hoping you could spread out the clonazepam dosing more:

 

On 9/11/2018 at 2:54 AM, Shep said:

....

10 am - .10 mg clonazepam

11 am - .10 clonazepam 

2 pm - .20 clonazepam 

5pm - .20 clonazepam 

8 pm - .20 clonazepam 

11pm -15mg mirtazapine  

 

This is what your clonazepam schedule is now:

 

10am .25 Klonopin 

1pm .25 Klonopin 
5pm .30 Klonopin

11pm 15mg Mirtazipine 

 

THAT'S A BIG DIFFERENCE.

 

If you take smaller clonazepam doses, and spread the doses out, you might get less interdose withdrawal.

 

My sense is you might decrease the Lexapro by 0.25mg, to 4mg -- but you might want to make a change in the clonazepam dosing first, as you don't want to change Lexapro and clonazepam at the same time.

 

What do you want to do??

[Nikki74]

6 hours ago, Altostrata said:

Nikki, it seems to me going off the Lexapro is the right direction.

 

However, we were hoping you could spread out the clonazepam dosing more:

 

 

This is what your clonazepam schedule is now:

 

10am .25 Klonopin 

1pm .25 Klonopin 
5pm .30 Klonopin

11pm 15mg Mirtazipine 

 

THAT'S A BIG DIFFERENCE.

 

If you take smaller clonazepam doses, and spread the doses out, you might get less interdose withdrawal.

 

My sense is you might decrease the Lexapro by 0.25mg, to 4mg -- but you might want to make a change in the clonazepam dosing first, as you don't want to change Lexapro and clonazepam at the same time.

 

What do you want to do??

Thank you Alto 

 

I went to four doses and found I was just getting more regular adverse reactions taking more doses. Which is hard. I think I am in wd on it all day and it’s not until I take that last dose that that stops. When I was leaving the last dose until 8pm I’d suffer all day until I took that last bit. Then the cycle starts again the next day. No matter how many doses I take it in, it’s not until the last dose that things ease off a little. And like I say, taking more and smaller doses made no difference and meant I had to deal with adverse reactions more often. So I’m not sure I want to go back to dosing more frequently. I suffer all day regardless. 

 

I do want to reduce the lexapro again when ready.

 

But I am concerned about hitting tolerance on this benzo whilst doing so. 

 

 

[Altostrata]

On 9/11/2018 at 2:54 AM, Shep said:

....

10 am - .10 mg clonazepam

11 am - .10 clonazepam 

2 pm - .20 clonazepam 

5pm - .20 clonazepam 

8 pm - .20 clonazepam 

11pm -15mg mirtazapine  

 

Nikki, @Shep's schedule has you taking SMALLER doses of clonazepam more often. We think this may reduce the uncomfortable paradoxical reaction you're getting from your 0.25-0.30mg doses. That is why we suggested it.

 

You're not in tolerance, and you're not having withdrawal symptoms. Each of your clonazepam doses is too strong -- but you need to keep the same total dose each day.

 

Can you start with

 

10 am - .15 mg clonazepam

11 am - .10 clonazepam 

2 pm - .20 clonazepam 

5pm - .20 clonazepam 

8pm - .15 clonazepam

11pm -15mg mirtazapine  

 

This starts out with a small change to your morning dosing of clonazepam and spreads the afternoon dosing out a bit more. Can you do this, and let us know your symptom pattern?

[bheb]

Hi Nikki, how's it going for you? Have you been able to get all your drugs sorted out? I'm sorry you still have so much to taper off of .. seems a real pain .. but hopefully you'll be stabilized soon. I really do think you'll feel better in the coming months. Anyone whose CNS has taken a hit like yours expectedly would feel quite awful. Don't give up hope!

[bheb]

Oh, one thing that has consistently helped is music. Yes, just listening to music can lessen my agitation significantly. 

 

Oops, I meant to post this on my own thread and can't figure out how to delete. Well anyway, I guess you cant take that as a suggestion Nikki

[Carmie]

Hi Nikki, 

 

We haven’t heard from you in a little while. I’ve been wondering how you’re doing? Have you had any reprieve from the akathisia?

 

Take care, sending hugs🤗

Edited February 24, 2019 by Carmie

[Carmie]

Hi Nikki, 

 

I’m still wondering how you are?💚

[manymoretodays]

Hi Nikki,

How are you? 

I would love to hear from you.......it's been some time now.

hearts and hugs,

Love, peace, healing, and growth,

mmt

[Nikki74]

Hello

I haven’t been on for almost a year. I was worried about coming back due to absence. 

 

I am doing no better. The akathisia is still constant 24/7 at varying levels but overall much worse. 

 

I have spent the last year dry cut tapering down to 2.75mg lexapro. I leave anywhere between 5-9 weeks between cuts. It has been and continues to be hell. I’m still housebound due to symptoms and feel very hopeless.

 

I will try to update signature if it’s ok to be back? 

[Nikki74]

Current drugs are as follows:

2.75mg lexapro 10.30am

0.25 Klonopin 11.30am

0.25 Klonopin 2.30pm

0.28 Klonopin 6-6.30pm

15mg Mirtazipine midnight 

10-12 cigarettes roughly on the hour from 10.30/11am to 11pm

 

Journal example:

 

please note I have constant internal akathisia at level 6-10 out of 10 all day everyday and mental akathisia at 6-10, and the need to move varies from restlessness to full blown movement akathisia unless otherwise stated (ie if it drops below that level. But it never goes. I have it through the night too but Mirtazipine dampens it).

 

wake at 10.30 with severe akathisia surging, shaking, panic

10.30 take 2.75mg lexapro 

maybe 5-10% reduction in symptoms 

 

smoke

 

lie in bed with internal akathisia And heart racing. Head bobbing I have had since early July.

 

Smoke

 

Shaking with akathisia, highly agitated 

11.30am 0.25 Klonopin 

5% reduction in symptoms 

 

12 pacing, unable to be still

 

Smoke 

 

Smoke

1.30pm mental terror, have to hide in bed.

 

2.30pm 0.25 Klonopin 

tears, panic, adrenaline (sometimes nothing bad, sometimes some relief for a little while)  

dies down by 3pm feel minor relief

3pm watch tv 

 

smoke

 

smoke 

 

4.30pm terror, severe mental akathisia 

 

Smoke 

 

smoke 

 

6pm 0.28 Klonopin 

Spend evening in restless state, mental akathisia and compulsive eating. Trying to watch tv.

 

Maybe 3-4 more smokes until 11.30pm

 

11.30pm things lower

12 midnight take 15mg mirt

takes until 2/2.30am to sleep. 

 

I have yet to have a full window from akathisia now in 27 months. 

 

I honestly thought I’d have been improving by now and it’s very hard to see any future. I don’t know if I need a really long hold as holding 2-3 months brings no relief and sometimes worsening, but I’ll then cut, might have a lift of sorts in mental symptoms, but not akathisia just the occasional couple hours of lessening, then 3-4 weeks in it all goes severe again. And so I hold and hold. But I’ve never done a long long hold. 

 

I have dozens of other fluctuating symptoms.

 

I only have my iphone and cannot see where to access my signature.

 

 

[Nikki74]

@manymoretodays Hello

 

I’ve posted above. Been a long time. I am absolutely no better. 27 months of non stop akathisia now and zero signs of recovery. 

 

I don’t know what to do. I can’t taper as akathisia has been getting incrementally worse by doing so. 

 

N xx

[Lloyd]

Hi Nikki, do you feel Akathasia internally or is it movement? I have what i would describe as internal akathasia and its a relentless ball of tension inside. My muscles are always tight, i sight cross legged and feel uncomfortable sitting down.

[Nikki74]

5 minutes ago, Lloyd said:

Hi Nikki, do you feel Akathasia internally or is it movement? I have what i would describe as internal akathasia and its a relentless ball of tension inside. My muscles are always tight, i sight cross legged and feel uncomfortable sitting down.

Hi Lloyd

I have the internal vibrating, agitation, buzzing, burning constantly never goes. It causes immense tension. I cannot sit still for long and at times I’m pacing, crying, rocking, twisting, kicking my legs, shaking my hands. Mental akathisia too. Never ever any peace mentally or physically. 27 months non stop. 

[Lloyd]

Sorry to hear that its that severe. I don't have it that bad but i find it lessens quite a bit a night or if i'm preoccupied with other things. I play allot of games to distract myself from it. Have you identified triggers that make it worse?

[Gem92]

Hello Nikki. I'm sorry you have been suffering for so long. I have a lot of the same symptoms as you so I can relate. I have the severe mental akathisia and burning and severe anhedonia. I also have Lexapro withdrawal and several other drugs like Zyprexa and antibitoics and I am now currently on Mirtazpine 11mg.

 

I just want you to know that you have my support. You are doing a good job with your slow tapering. I am not. 😢

[manymoretodays]

Hello back Nikki,

And well done, I am chuffed at your substantial decrease in escitalopram.  Chuffed is good.  How did you manage your escitalopram decreases?  You can just tell me roughly, if you did it by percentages or weight decreases or what?  And then at what kind of time intervals.  When did you get to 2.75 mg in dose of escitalopram?  Just give me a date, rather than 10 days ago, or 2 months ago, or a fortnight ago.  Saves me time at my calendar.

On 9/28/2019 at 6:13 AM, Nikki74 said:

Current drugs are as follows:

2.75mg lexapro 10.30am

0.25 Klonopin 11.30am

0.25 Klonopin 2.30pm

0.28 Klonopin 6-6.30pm

15mg Mirtazipine midnight 

10-12 cigarettes roughly on the hour from 10.30/11am to 11pm

 

How long have you been at the present clonazepam doses and times now, Nikki?

 

I can try and do a updated signature for you, in time.  I'll present it to you first, and then plug it in.

And ugh, very sorry to hear of the continued akathisia, panic, and additional physical symptoms.

 

Can you get something, anything substantial in to eat, in the morning?  On the plus side, I'm seeing 8 hours of sleep or just plain exhaustion sleep after your mirtazapine dose.  And then symptoms all resuming after the 8 hour reprieve. 

 

I just ran across an article, while searching mirtazapine, noting effectiveness with mirt, in treatment of AP induced akathisia, but then also noting that there a some cases in which akathisia is actually induced by mirt. (Mirtazapine induced tardive akathisia, European Psychiatry, 2009)

You seem to get at least immediate relief with your Mirt, for 8 or less hours, after taking it.......unlike the case study profiled there.  Just interesting.

 

And oh man, I'm so sorry you are not feeling more hopeful.  Any coping skills, at all......that offer reprieve? 

 

Are you still working with Ian Singleton, by phone a bit for support.

Managing a bit of Mom time with your dear son?

 

And oh Nikki74.  I'll get back to you when I can.  Let me get your signature updated, and then I'll take a few minutes, to go back to last October too, in narratives.......and at that point, we can see if it anyone has any suggests or ideas, for you to pursue.

 

Meantime, hang in and hold on.  I sense some healing just around the next corner for you sweetie.

 

Love, peace, healing, and growth,

mmt

 

 

[Nikki74]

1 hour ago, manymoretodays said:

Hello back Nikki,

And well done, I am chuffed at your substantial decrease in escitalopram.  Chuffed is good.  How did you manage your escitalopram decreases?  You can just tell me roughly, if you did it by percentages or weight decreases or what?  And then at what kind of time intervals. 

Hi mmt

thank you for getting back to me! 

 

So here’s how I reduced the escitalopram:

6 Oct 2018 cut .25 to 4.25mg

(26 Nov 2018 panicked about benzo and cut 2.5% from 0.80 to 0.78mg)

25 Jan 2019 cut .25 escitalopram to 4mg

28 Feb cut .25 to 3.75mg

15 April cut .5 to 3.25mg 

10 June cut .25 to 3mg

15 Aug cut .25 to 2.75mg

20 Sept cut .25 to 2.5mg but too severe when cut and got much worse so reinstated cut 23 Sept back to 2.75mg

 

I have never reached any level of stability and it has been increasingly hellish. I just end up cutting out of desperation. Then might get a couple weeks of things going from force 9-10 to 6-7 then it’s back up again relentlessly.

 

 

Quote

 

 

 

When did you get to 2.75 mg in dose of escitalopram?  Just give me a date, rather than 10 days ago, or 2 months ago, or a fortnight ago.  Saves me time at my calendar.

 

How long have you been at the present clonazepam doses and times now, Nikki?

 

I think probably since around April as I found the Mirtazipine was knocking me out later (no matter if taken at 11 or 12) and keeping me drugged until 10-11am so was forced to adjust clonazepam dose times.

Quote

I can try and do a updated signature for you, in time.  I'll present it to you first, and then plug it in.

And ugh, very sorry to hear of the continued akathisia, panic, and additional physical symptoms.

 

Can you get something, anything substantial in to eat, in the morning? 

No, I normally don’t eat until I can get still enough around midday for a few minutes and I’ll eat some chicken or eggs.

 

 

Quote

On the plus side, I'm seeing 8 hours of sleep or just plain exhaustion sleep after your mirtazapine dose.  And then symptoms all resuming after the 8 hour reprieve. 

 

I just ran across an article, while searching mirtazapine, noting effectiveness with mirt, in treatment of AP induced akathisia, but then also noting that there a some cases in which akathisia is actually induced by mirt. (Mirtazapine induced tardive akathisia, European Psychiatry, 2009)

You seem to get at least immediate relief with your Mirt, for 8 or less hours, after taking it.......unlike the case study profiled there.  Just interesting.

 

And oh man, I'm so sorry you are not feeling more hopeful.  Any coping skills, at all......that offer reprieve? 

 

Really when in full blown akathisia it’s pure survival, if a tad lower it’s heated blanket, quizzes, tv in bursts. 

Quote

Are you still working with Ian Singleton, by phone a bit for support.

 

Yes, although it’s very hard to get through as they’re so busy now. Maybe one or two ten minute chats a week. 

Quote

Managing a bit of Mom time with your dear son?

 

Rarely but he’s been unwell with anxiety and is out of education because of it awaiting counselling (and no drugs that’s for sure!!). He needs me very much and often will need a talk late at night which is about the only time I’m not completely severe and can be about 20% the Mum I want to be.

Quote

And oh Nikki74.  I'll get back to you when I can.  Let me get your signature updated, and then I'll take a few minutes, to go back to last October too, in narratives.......and at that point, we can see if it anyone has any suggests or ideas, for you to pursue.

 

Meantime, hang in and hold on.  I sense some healing just around the next corner for you sweetie.

 

Thank you 💕🙏 

I’ve very very concerned that I’ve seen no healing or break yet. None. The akathisia is of all types - internal, movement and the mental which comes with severe mental terror, despair, racing mind. I have visual blurring and distortions. Deja vu, flashbacks, time travelling. OCD, DR, feeling I’m being pulled or tipped out of bed, seeing shapes on peripheral vision, or faces in patterns, all cause a chemical panic. My head bobs sometimes quite violently side to side. Muscle twitches, movements. Extreme SI. Weakness. Gut issues. Severe pain in head, eyes and ears (maybe every 3 weeks lasting 2-3days). Lower back pain, collar bone pain. Gagging, nausea. And more. It all is truly horrifying. 

Quote

Love, peace, healing, and growth,

mmt

 

 

Bless you and same to you, N