Moderator Frogie Posted November 30, 2017 Moderator Share Posted November 30, 2017 1 minute ago, Nikki74 said: Agitation has been about 30% less today. Restless head and body though. Slightly less depression. Hi Nikki74: Sounds like you might have a somewhat good day. I'm rooting for you! Take care, Frogie xx PREVIOUS medications and discontinuations: Have been on medications since 1996. Valium, Gabapentin, Lamictal, Prilosec and Zantac from 2000 to 2015 with a fast taper by a psychiatrist. Liquid Lexapro Nov, 2016 to 31-March, 2019 Lexapro free!!! (total Lexapro taper was 4 years-started with pill form) ---CURRENT MEDICATIONS:Supplements:Milk Thistle, Metamucil, Magnesium Citrate, Vitamin D3, Levothyroxine 25mcg, Vitamin C, Krill oil. Xanax 1mg 3x day June, 2000 to 19-September, 2020 Went from .150 grams (average weight of 1 Xanax) 3x day to .003 grams 3x day. April 1, 2021 went back on 1mg a day. Started tapering May 19, 2023. July 28, 2023-approximately .87mg. Dr. fast tapered me at the end and realized he messed up. Prescribe it again and I am doing "slower than a turtle" taper. 19-September, 2020 Xanax free!!! (total Xanax taper was 15-1/2 months-1-June, 2019-19-September, 2020) I am not a medical professional. The suggestions I make are based on personal experience. Link to comment
Nikki74 Posted November 30, 2017 Author Share Posted November 30, 2017 24 minutes ago, Frogie said: Hi Nikki74: Sounds like you might have a somewhat good day. I'm rooting for you! Take care, Frogie xx Thank you Frogie It’s at least been tolerable apart from a crying spell this morning and general discomfort from restlessness and lower agitation. Plus all my other symptoms that just chug along. I hope you’re doing ok xxx 2009-2011 mirtazapine 45mg plus clonaz as needed. Start Lexapro Nov 2011. June 2016 Zopiclone, July-Sept Trazodone 50mg, adverse reaction, ct, started pregabalin, reduced Lexapro from 20 to 15mg Start of 2017 on 15mg lexapro, 100mg pregablin. April added 15mg mirtazapine. End May. Start June stop pregablin after two week taper. End June. Stopped Lexapro 15mg 3 wk taper. Start July Mirt 30mg + Diaz daily 2-4mg End July returned to mirtaz 15mg + lexapro at 10mg reinstated. 4th Aug - 19 Sept Zopiclone (3.75 then 7.5 then 3.75 at the end) diazepam 7-8mg day since then. 16 Sept cut lex to 5mg. 5-6 Oct swapped 5mg lex to 8.15am and 15mg mirtazipine to 11pm 8 Oct onwards sticking to 6mg diazepam p/day 3 doses/ 2 Feb start 1mg clonazepam, stop Diaz. 21 Feb 2% cut lex. 8 March 12.5% clon cut. Now take .5 clon 9am, .375 5pm(0.875 mg daily clonazepam) 16 May @8% clon reduction so 9am dose .43(0.805 mg daily clonazepam) 2 July 10% Lexapro reduction to 4.5mg. 9 Aug .25mg lex cut to 4.25mg/ 13 Aug 4.5mg 2018 October Lexapro 4.5 to 4.25 mg clonazepam 0.80 mg mirtazapine 15 mg 2019 October present drugs: Lexapro 2.75 mg(tapers of 0.25 increments in last year at 5 -9 week intervals), clonazepam 0.78 mg(taper of .02 mg November 2018), mirtazapine 15 mg 2020 January 5th Lexapro taper to 2.57 mg(2%drop), total clonazepam 0.78 mg, mirtazapine 15 mg previous signature here recent dosing and symptom logs here Link to comment
Moderator Frogie Posted November 30, 2017 Moderator Share Posted November 30, 2017 1 minute ago, Nikki74 said: Thank you Frogie It’s at least been tolerable apart from a crying spell this morning and general discomfort from restlessness and lower agitation. Plus all my other symptoms that just chug along. I hope you’re doing ok xxx I have crying spells a lot. It's good to get it out. It's just WD, and can't be helped. I'm glad it's at least been tolerable as I know you suffer so much. I read your thread. You are on Lexapro and Valium. I tapered off Valium, but I'm on Lexapro and Xanax. I'm doing ok, other than I strained my back and am on a muscle relaxer, anti inflammatory and percocet. I'm pretty loopy, but I think I'll be ok by tomorrow. I hope you feel better soon. Thanks for asking about me. Take care, Frogie xx PREVIOUS medications and discontinuations: Have been on medications since 1996. Valium, Gabapentin, Lamictal, Prilosec and Zantac from 2000 to 2015 with a fast taper by a psychiatrist. Liquid Lexapro Nov, 2016 to 31-March, 2019 Lexapro free!!! (total Lexapro taper was 4 years-started with pill form) ---CURRENT MEDICATIONS:Supplements:Milk Thistle, Metamucil, Magnesium Citrate, Vitamin D3, Levothyroxine 25mcg, Vitamin C, Krill oil. Xanax 1mg 3x day June, 2000 to 19-September, 2020 Went from .150 grams (average weight of 1 Xanax) 3x day to .003 grams 3x day. April 1, 2021 went back on 1mg a day. Started tapering May 19, 2023. July 28, 2023-approximately .87mg. Dr. fast tapered me at the end and realized he messed up. Prescribe it again and I am doing "slower than a turtle" taper. 19-September, 2020 Xanax free!!! (total Xanax taper was 15-1/2 months-1-June, 2019-19-September, 2020) I am not a medical professional. The suggestions I make are based on personal experience. Link to comment
Nikki74 Posted November 30, 2017 Author Share Posted November 30, 2017 1 hour ago, Frogie said: I have crying spells a lot. It's good to get it out. It's just WD, and can't be helped. I'm glad it's at least been tolerable as I know you suffer so much. I read your thread. You are on Lexapro and Valium. I tapered off Valium, but I'm on Lexapro and Xanax. I'm doing ok, other than I strained my back and am on a muscle relaxer, anti inflammatory and percocet. I'm pretty loopy, but I think I'll be ok by tomorrow. I hope you feel better soon. Thanks for asking about me. Take care, Frogie xx Sorry about your back issue Frogie. yes I reinstated lexapro after cting it. Ended up on the diazepam during it all. Such a mess and it’s destroyed 6 months of my life already. Keep praying for hope. Take care and thank you for stopping by xxxx 2009-2011 mirtazapine 45mg plus clonaz as needed. Start Lexapro Nov 2011. June 2016 Zopiclone, July-Sept Trazodone 50mg, adverse reaction, ct, started pregabalin, reduced Lexapro from 20 to 15mg Start of 2017 on 15mg lexapro, 100mg pregablin. April added 15mg mirtazapine. End May. Start June stop pregablin after two week taper. End June. Stopped Lexapro 15mg 3 wk taper. Start July Mirt 30mg + Diaz daily 2-4mg End July returned to mirtaz 15mg + lexapro at 10mg reinstated. 4th Aug - 19 Sept Zopiclone (3.75 then 7.5 then 3.75 at the end) diazepam 7-8mg day since then. 16 Sept cut lex to 5mg. 5-6 Oct swapped 5mg lex to 8.15am and 15mg mirtazipine to 11pm 8 Oct onwards sticking to 6mg diazepam p/day 3 doses/ 2 Feb start 1mg clonazepam, stop Diaz. 21 Feb 2% cut lex. 8 March 12.5% clon cut. Now take .5 clon 9am, .375 5pm(0.875 mg daily clonazepam) 16 May @8% clon reduction so 9am dose .43(0.805 mg daily clonazepam) 2 July 10% Lexapro reduction to 4.5mg. 9 Aug .25mg lex cut to 4.25mg/ 13 Aug 4.5mg 2018 October Lexapro 4.5 to 4.25 mg clonazepam 0.80 mg mirtazapine 15 mg 2019 October present drugs: Lexapro 2.75 mg(tapers of 0.25 increments in last year at 5 -9 week intervals), clonazepam 0.78 mg(taper of .02 mg November 2018), mirtazapine 15 mg 2020 January 5th Lexapro taper to 2.57 mg(2%drop), total clonazepam 0.78 mg, mirtazapine 15 mg previous signature here recent dosing and symptom logs here Link to comment
Nikki74 Posted November 30, 2017 Author Share Posted November 30, 2017 Massive deep depression this evening with uncontrollable crying and thankfully spoke to an understanding friend. Now sneezing and think I have a cold. I want to sleep for a week! I don’t know why I’m posting this stuff, it’s a record I suppose. 2009-2011 mirtazapine 45mg plus clonaz as needed. Start Lexapro Nov 2011. June 2016 Zopiclone, July-Sept Trazodone 50mg, adverse reaction, ct, started pregabalin, reduced Lexapro from 20 to 15mg Start of 2017 on 15mg lexapro, 100mg pregablin. April added 15mg mirtazapine. End May. Start June stop pregablin after two week taper. End June. Stopped Lexapro 15mg 3 wk taper. Start July Mirt 30mg + Diaz daily 2-4mg End July returned to mirtaz 15mg + lexapro at 10mg reinstated. 4th Aug - 19 Sept Zopiclone (3.75 then 7.5 then 3.75 at the end) diazepam 7-8mg day since then. 16 Sept cut lex to 5mg. 5-6 Oct swapped 5mg lex to 8.15am and 15mg mirtazipine to 11pm 8 Oct onwards sticking to 6mg diazepam p/day 3 doses/ 2 Feb start 1mg clonazepam, stop Diaz. 21 Feb 2% cut lex. 8 March 12.5% clon cut. Now take .5 clon 9am, .375 5pm(0.875 mg daily clonazepam) 16 May @8% clon reduction so 9am dose .43(0.805 mg daily clonazepam) 2 July 10% Lexapro reduction to 4.5mg. 9 Aug .25mg lex cut to 4.25mg/ 13 Aug 4.5mg 2018 October Lexapro 4.5 to 4.25 mg clonazepam 0.80 mg mirtazapine 15 mg 2019 October present drugs: Lexapro 2.75 mg(tapers of 0.25 increments in last year at 5 -9 week intervals), clonazepam 0.78 mg(taper of .02 mg November 2018), mirtazapine 15 mg 2020 January 5th Lexapro taper to 2.57 mg(2%drop), total clonazepam 0.78 mg, mirtazapine 15 mg previous signature here recent dosing and symptom logs here Link to comment
wantrelief Posted November 30, 2017 Share Posted November 30, 2017 I am so sorry, Nikki. I know it doesn't necessarily help but wanted to let you know that I understand and you aren't alone. I am so glad you were able to talk to an understanding friend...that sounds good. I hope you can get some rest this evening. -1/06 - 3/07 Cymbalta. Fast taper (essentially CT); withdrawal symptoms after 4 mos (didn't realize was WD) -10/07: 100 mg Zoloft; 1 mg Klonopin - tapered off Klonopin after 4 mos. Several unsuccessful slow tapers of Zoloft; went up and down in dose a lot -Spring 2013 back on 1 mg Klonopin to counter WD symptoms; switched over 5-6 mos from Zoloft to 35 mg citalopram -Two attempts at slow tapering citalopram, always increased dose due to WD; also increased Klonopin to 1.25 mg in 2014, then to 1.5 mg in 2015 -8/17-9/17: After holding one year at 20 mg, feeling withdrawal symptoms due to stress - slowly increased to 25 mg. No change in symptoms after 6 months (? tolerance ?) - decided to start citalopram taper February 2018 (still on Klonopin 1.5 mg). Supplements: fish oil; magnesium; vitamin D3; curcumin Citalopram taper: 2/2018 - 12/2019: 25 mg - 11.03 mg I 2020: 10.89 mg - 7.9 mg I 2021: 7.8 mg - 5.26 mg I 2022: 5.2 mg - 3.36 mg I 2023: 3.3 mg - 1.47 mg 2024: 1/5/24: 1.44 mg; 1/19/24: 1.40 mg; 1/26/24: 1.37 mg; 2/2/24: 1.34 mg; 2/9/24: 1.31 mg; 2/23/24: 1.28 mg; 3/1/24: 1.25 mg; 3/8/24: 1.22 mg; 3/15/24: 1.19 mg; 3/29/24: 1.17 mg; 4/5/24: 1.14 mg; 4/13/24: 1.11 mg Link to comment
Moderator Frogie Posted November 30, 2017 Moderator Share Posted November 30, 2017 4 hours ago, Nikki74 said: Sorry about your back issue Frogie. yes I reinstated lexapro after cting it. Ended up on the diazepam during it all. Such a mess and it’s destroyed 6 months of my life already. Keep praying for hope. Take care and thank you for stopping by xxxx Thanks, my back is feeling a lot better this afternoon. I'm sorry you feel so terrible. I hope you feel better soon. I will pray for you, and you please pray for me. Take care, Frogie xx PREVIOUS medications and discontinuations: Have been on medications since 1996. Valium, Gabapentin, Lamictal, Prilosec and Zantac from 2000 to 2015 with a fast taper by a psychiatrist. Liquid Lexapro Nov, 2016 to 31-March, 2019 Lexapro free!!! (total Lexapro taper was 4 years-started with pill form) ---CURRENT MEDICATIONS:Supplements:Milk Thistle, Metamucil, Magnesium Citrate, Vitamin D3, Levothyroxine 25mcg, Vitamin C, Krill oil. Xanax 1mg 3x day June, 2000 to 19-September, 2020 Went from .150 grams (average weight of 1 Xanax) 3x day to .003 grams 3x day. April 1, 2021 went back on 1mg a day. Started tapering May 19, 2023. July 28, 2023-approximately .87mg. Dr. fast tapered me at the end and realized he messed up. Prescribe it again and I am doing "slower than a turtle" taper. 19-September, 2020 Xanax free!!! (total Xanax taper was 15-1/2 months-1-June, 2019-19-September, 2020) I am not a medical professional. The suggestions I make are based on personal experience. Link to comment
UnfoldingSky Posted December 1, 2017 Share Posted December 1, 2017 On 29/11/2017 at 8:18 AM, Nikki74 said: Thank you dear US. i think I’ve been on high alert since I found out my son is going away to see his dad for the holidays. Plus it being Christmas which is triggering me every which way. The akathisia just won’t let up right now it seems. Even though I’ve got plans in place for my family to keep checking on me over the holidays I just can’t feel any peace. Is this one big wave? Hi Nikki, I wish I knew if it was a wave or not. A lot of people here have a hard time over holidays. I know when I was in the worst of it, I felt so distant from regular life, and so dissociated that Christmas felt very hard to get through. Since then something bad happened to someone I know around the holidays so now it's not a lot of fun because of that, dredges up bad memories. I'm meeting a lot of people lately who have a hard time around Christmas, for different reasons, so if it helps at all you are far from alone. I try to keep it in perspective--it will be over soon enough--but the lead up makes you think it drags on. I wish you could spend it with your son, I know it's hard for you without him. There will likely be people here, so if you need to, just post, I will probably be checking in as our Christmas here will be subdued, I'm sure some others will be popping in too. Pull up a rug by our virtual fireplace..I hope things will improve well before that of course but in case you have a bad day, or just need to chat. Thinking of you, US I am not a medical professional and nothing I say is a medical opinion or meant to be medical advice, please seek a competent and trusted medical professional to consult for all medical decisions. Link to comment
Nikki74 Posted December 1, 2017 Author Share Posted December 1, 2017 46 minutes ago, UnfoldingSky said: Hi Nikki, I wish I knew if it was a wave or not. A lot of people here have a hard time over holidays. I know when I was in the worst of it, I felt so distant from regular life, and so dissociated that Christmas felt very hard to get through. Since then something bad happened to someone I know around the holidays so now it's not a lot of fun because of that, dredges up bad memories. I'm meeting a lot of people lately who have a hard time around Christmas, for different reasons, so if it helps at all you are far from alone. I try to keep it in perspective--it will be over soon enough--but the lead up makes you think it drags on. I wish you could spend it with your son, I know it's hard for you without him. There will likely be people here, so if you need to, just post, I will probably be checking in as our Christmas here will be subdued, I'm sure some others will be popping in too. Pull up a rug by our virtual fireplace..I hope things will improve well before that of course but in case you have a bad day, or just need to chat. Thinking of you, US Thank you US. Always so caring. If this isn’t a wave, is it just how it’s going to be until one day it’s not? It just feels unending, is it acute withdrawal? Im trying to make some sense of it. The fatigue is crippling underlying it all too. I just survive each day right now. X 2009-2011 mirtazapine 45mg plus clonaz as needed. Start Lexapro Nov 2011. June 2016 Zopiclone, July-Sept Trazodone 50mg, adverse reaction, ct, started pregabalin, reduced Lexapro from 20 to 15mg Start of 2017 on 15mg lexapro, 100mg pregablin. April added 15mg mirtazapine. End May. Start June stop pregablin after two week taper. End June. Stopped Lexapro 15mg 3 wk taper. Start July Mirt 30mg + Diaz daily 2-4mg End July returned to mirtaz 15mg + lexapro at 10mg reinstated. 4th Aug - 19 Sept Zopiclone (3.75 then 7.5 then 3.75 at the end) diazepam 7-8mg day since then. 16 Sept cut lex to 5mg. 5-6 Oct swapped 5mg lex to 8.15am and 15mg mirtazipine to 11pm 8 Oct onwards sticking to 6mg diazepam p/day 3 doses/ 2 Feb start 1mg clonazepam, stop Diaz. 21 Feb 2% cut lex. 8 March 12.5% clon cut. Now take .5 clon 9am, .375 5pm(0.875 mg daily clonazepam) 16 May @8% clon reduction so 9am dose .43(0.805 mg daily clonazepam) 2 July 10% Lexapro reduction to 4.5mg. 9 Aug .25mg lex cut to 4.25mg/ 13 Aug 4.5mg 2018 October Lexapro 4.5 to 4.25 mg clonazepam 0.80 mg mirtazapine 15 mg 2019 October present drugs: Lexapro 2.75 mg(tapers of 0.25 increments in last year at 5 -9 week intervals), clonazepam 0.78 mg(taper of .02 mg November 2018), mirtazapine 15 mg 2020 January 5th Lexapro taper to 2.57 mg(2%drop), total clonazepam 0.78 mg, mirtazapine 15 mg previous signature here recent dosing and symptom logs here Link to comment
Nikki74 Posted December 1, 2017 Author Share Posted December 1, 2017 Anyone with experience of being so unstable after so many drug changes and cts and who finally reached a better place despite still being on a mix of drugs? I dont get waves and windows, it’s just staying the same day in day out. Exhaustion, akathisia, mental symptoms, can feel no joy or contentment or peace. Deep depression. Anxiety. Anyone been here for months and it got better? 2009-2011 mirtazapine 45mg plus clonaz as needed. Start Lexapro Nov 2011. June 2016 Zopiclone, July-Sept Trazodone 50mg, adverse reaction, ct, started pregabalin, reduced Lexapro from 20 to 15mg Start of 2017 on 15mg lexapro, 100mg pregablin. April added 15mg mirtazapine. End May. Start June stop pregablin after two week taper. End June. Stopped Lexapro 15mg 3 wk taper. Start July Mirt 30mg + Diaz daily 2-4mg End July returned to mirtaz 15mg + lexapro at 10mg reinstated. 4th Aug - 19 Sept Zopiclone (3.75 then 7.5 then 3.75 at the end) diazepam 7-8mg day since then. 16 Sept cut lex to 5mg. 5-6 Oct swapped 5mg lex to 8.15am and 15mg mirtazipine to 11pm 8 Oct onwards sticking to 6mg diazepam p/day 3 doses/ 2 Feb start 1mg clonazepam, stop Diaz. 21 Feb 2% cut lex. 8 March 12.5% clon cut. Now take .5 clon 9am, .375 5pm(0.875 mg daily clonazepam) 16 May @8% clon reduction so 9am dose .43(0.805 mg daily clonazepam) 2 July 10% Lexapro reduction to 4.5mg. 9 Aug .25mg lex cut to 4.25mg/ 13 Aug 4.5mg 2018 October Lexapro 4.5 to 4.25 mg clonazepam 0.80 mg mirtazapine 15 mg 2019 October present drugs: Lexapro 2.75 mg(tapers of 0.25 increments in last year at 5 -9 week intervals), clonazepam 0.78 mg(taper of .02 mg November 2018), mirtazapine 15 mg 2020 January 5th Lexapro taper to 2.57 mg(2%drop), total clonazepam 0.78 mg, mirtazapine 15 mg previous signature here recent dosing and symptom logs here Link to comment
UnfoldingSky Posted December 2, 2017 Share Posted December 2, 2017 23 hours ago, Nikki74 said: Thank you US. Always so caring. If this isn’t a wave, is it just how it’s going to be until one day it’s not? It just feels unending, is it acute withdrawal? Im trying to make some sense of it. The fatigue is crippling underlying it all too. I just survive each day right now. X How are you doing Nikki, how was your day yesterday? I was just thinking maybe you could try posting on the akathisia thread here if you have not already, and ask others there how long it took to stabilize if they reinstated. Hope you had a good night. x I am not a medical professional and nothing I say is a medical opinion or meant to be medical advice, please seek a competent and trusted medical professional to consult for all medical decisions. Link to comment
Nikki74 Posted December 2, 2017 Author Share Posted December 2, 2017 56 minutes ago, UnfoldingSky said: How are you doing Nikki, how was your day yesterday? I was just thinking maybe you could try posting on the akathisia thread here if you have not already, and ask others there how long it took to stabilize if they reinstated. Hope you had a good night. x Thank you US. I slept well. But it’s all back again. I’ve read the akathisia thread many times but not posted. I’ll have another look. I think it was the pregabalin ct and escitalopram followed by the Zopiclone ct that then made it so much worse. I’m showing no signs of stabilising yet. Yesterday was as bad as ever. X 2009-2011 mirtazapine 45mg plus clonaz as needed. Start Lexapro Nov 2011. June 2016 Zopiclone, July-Sept Trazodone 50mg, adverse reaction, ct, started pregabalin, reduced Lexapro from 20 to 15mg Start of 2017 on 15mg lexapro, 100mg pregablin. April added 15mg mirtazapine. End May. Start June stop pregablin after two week taper. End June. Stopped Lexapro 15mg 3 wk taper. Start July Mirt 30mg + Diaz daily 2-4mg End July returned to mirtaz 15mg + lexapro at 10mg reinstated. 4th Aug - 19 Sept Zopiclone (3.75 then 7.5 then 3.75 at the end) diazepam 7-8mg day since then. 16 Sept cut lex to 5mg. 5-6 Oct swapped 5mg lex to 8.15am and 15mg mirtazipine to 11pm 8 Oct onwards sticking to 6mg diazepam p/day 3 doses/ 2 Feb start 1mg clonazepam, stop Diaz. 21 Feb 2% cut lex. 8 March 12.5% clon cut. Now take .5 clon 9am, .375 5pm(0.875 mg daily clonazepam) 16 May @8% clon reduction so 9am dose .43(0.805 mg daily clonazepam) 2 July 10% Lexapro reduction to 4.5mg. 9 Aug .25mg lex cut to 4.25mg/ 13 Aug 4.5mg 2018 October Lexapro 4.5 to 4.25 mg clonazepam 0.80 mg mirtazapine 15 mg 2019 October present drugs: Lexapro 2.75 mg(tapers of 0.25 increments in last year at 5 -9 week intervals), clonazepam 0.78 mg(taper of .02 mg November 2018), mirtazapine 15 mg 2020 January 5th Lexapro taper to 2.57 mg(2%drop), total clonazepam 0.78 mg, mirtazapine 15 mg previous signature here recent dosing and symptom logs here Link to comment
AliG Posted December 2, 2017 Share Posted December 2, 2017 Nikki. I understand how very difficult this is and I totally get how you want to be better " right now" but it really doesn't work that way. It is much better to take a " wait and see" attitude. Some may ask how I have got through almost 3.5 years since cold turkey ~ it is with an attitude of "I know I will heal "! No doubts ~ just time, that's it. Simple. I would love you to come to an acceptance of the fact that this may take, just a little while~ everyone is different ~ it will hopefully take you much less time but a positive mindset is key. I know you have been positive up to this point and I hope you can keep that up. Hang in there. Ali Many SSRI's and SSNRI's over 20 years. Zoloft for 7 years followed by Effexor, Lexapro, Prozac, Cymbalta, Celexa, Pristiq, Valdoxan, Mianserin and more - on and off. No tapering. Cold turkey off Valdoxan - end of May 2014 Psych Drug - free since May 2014 . Link to comment
Nikki74 Posted December 2, 2017 Author Share Posted December 2, 2017 2 minutes ago, AliG said: Nikki. I understand how very difficult this is and I totally get how you want to be better " right now" but it really doesn't work that way. It is much better to take a " wait and see" attitude. Some may ask how I have got through almost 3.5 years since cold turkey ~ it is with an attitude of "I know I will heal "! No doubts ~ just time, that's it. Simple. I would love you to come to an acceptance of the fact that this may take, just a little while~ everyone is different ~ it will hopefully take you much less time but a positive mindset is key. I know you have been positive up to this point and I hope you can keep that up. Hang in there. Ali Thank you Ali. I understand what you are saying. I worry that the drugs I’m still on are causing the akathisia as it’s relentless. You had it though and it went didn’t it? Even though you were still on meds? I am really working on acceptance. It’s just the akathisia is so intense I’m exhausted by this time of day by the movements and agitation all over. Thank you for writing X 2009-2011 mirtazapine 45mg plus clonaz as needed. Start Lexapro Nov 2011. June 2016 Zopiclone, July-Sept Trazodone 50mg, adverse reaction, ct, started pregabalin, reduced Lexapro from 20 to 15mg Start of 2017 on 15mg lexapro, 100mg pregablin. April added 15mg mirtazapine. End May. Start June stop pregablin after two week taper. End June. Stopped Lexapro 15mg 3 wk taper. Start July Mirt 30mg + Diaz daily 2-4mg End July returned to mirtaz 15mg + lexapro at 10mg reinstated. 4th Aug - 19 Sept Zopiclone (3.75 then 7.5 then 3.75 at the end) diazepam 7-8mg day since then. 16 Sept cut lex to 5mg. 5-6 Oct swapped 5mg lex to 8.15am and 15mg mirtazipine to 11pm 8 Oct onwards sticking to 6mg diazepam p/day 3 doses/ 2 Feb start 1mg clonazepam, stop Diaz. 21 Feb 2% cut lex. 8 March 12.5% clon cut. Now take .5 clon 9am, .375 5pm(0.875 mg daily clonazepam) 16 May @8% clon reduction so 9am dose .43(0.805 mg daily clonazepam) 2 July 10% Lexapro reduction to 4.5mg. 9 Aug .25mg lex cut to 4.25mg/ 13 Aug 4.5mg 2018 October Lexapro 4.5 to 4.25 mg clonazepam 0.80 mg mirtazapine 15 mg 2019 October present drugs: Lexapro 2.75 mg(tapers of 0.25 increments in last year at 5 -9 week intervals), clonazepam 0.78 mg(taper of .02 mg November 2018), mirtazapine 15 mg 2020 January 5th Lexapro taper to 2.57 mg(2%drop), total clonazepam 0.78 mg, mirtazapine 15 mg previous signature here recent dosing and symptom logs here Link to comment
AliG Posted December 2, 2017 Share Posted December 2, 2017 Yes, I did have it but I was on "no drugs" as I unfortunately did a cold turkey. I never knew to taper. It can often be a withdrawal symptom, as it was with me, but if I could do it under those extreme circumstances, then you can too. It will take a while, going forward but you will get there in the end ~ if you have purpose ( and possibly some anger) Many SSRI's and SSNRI's over 20 years. Zoloft for 7 years followed by Effexor, Lexapro, Prozac, Cymbalta, Celexa, Pristiq, Valdoxan, Mianserin and more - on and off. No tapering. Cold turkey off Valdoxan - end of May 2014 Psych Drug - free since May 2014 . Link to comment
Nikki74 Posted December 2, 2017 Author Share Posted December 2, 2017 1 minute ago, AliG said: Yes, I did have it but I was on "no drugs" as I unfortunately did a cold turkey. I never knew to taper. It can often be a withdrawal symptom, as it was with me, but if I could do it under those extreme circumstances, then you can too. It will take a while, going forward but you will get there in the end ~ if you have purpose ( and possibly some anger) I have anger for sure! Which I don’t like as I direct it at myself for being so naive about these drugs and letting the mental health team and my gp play ping pong with my brain for months on end. My purpose or anchor is my son. X 2009-2011 mirtazapine 45mg plus clonaz as needed. Start Lexapro Nov 2011. June 2016 Zopiclone, July-Sept Trazodone 50mg, adverse reaction, ct, started pregabalin, reduced Lexapro from 20 to 15mg Start of 2017 on 15mg lexapro, 100mg pregablin. April added 15mg mirtazapine. End May. Start June stop pregablin after two week taper. End June. Stopped Lexapro 15mg 3 wk taper. Start July Mirt 30mg + Diaz daily 2-4mg End July returned to mirtaz 15mg + lexapro at 10mg reinstated. 4th Aug - 19 Sept Zopiclone (3.75 then 7.5 then 3.75 at the end) diazepam 7-8mg day since then. 16 Sept cut lex to 5mg. 5-6 Oct swapped 5mg lex to 8.15am and 15mg mirtazipine to 11pm 8 Oct onwards sticking to 6mg diazepam p/day 3 doses/ 2 Feb start 1mg clonazepam, stop Diaz. 21 Feb 2% cut lex. 8 March 12.5% clon cut. Now take .5 clon 9am, .375 5pm(0.875 mg daily clonazepam) 16 May @8% clon reduction so 9am dose .43(0.805 mg daily clonazepam) 2 July 10% Lexapro reduction to 4.5mg. 9 Aug .25mg lex cut to 4.25mg/ 13 Aug 4.5mg 2018 October Lexapro 4.5 to 4.25 mg clonazepam 0.80 mg mirtazapine 15 mg 2019 October present drugs: Lexapro 2.75 mg(tapers of 0.25 increments in last year at 5 -9 week intervals), clonazepam 0.78 mg(taper of .02 mg November 2018), mirtazapine 15 mg 2020 January 5th Lexapro taper to 2.57 mg(2%drop), total clonazepam 0.78 mg, mirtazapine 15 mg previous signature here recent dosing and symptom logs here Link to comment
AliG Posted December 2, 2017 Share Posted December 2, 2017 Nikki. Through my darkest times, I always looked forward also, towards my children for hope and purpose. It sees me through ~ even now. That's what I meant. It will hopefully do the same for you. Don't aim the anger at yourself ~ I meant the drug industry : they are to blame for this catastrophy. Many SSRI's and SSNRI's over 20 years. Zoloft for 7 years followed by Effexor, Lexapro, Prozac, Cymbalta, Celexa, Pristiq, Valdoxan, Mianserin and more - on and off. No tapering. Cold turkey off Valdoxan - end of May 2014 Psych Drug - free since May 2014 . Link to comment
Nikki74 Posted December 2, 2017 Author Share Posted December 2, 2017 3 minutes ago, AliG said: Nikki. Through my darkest times, I always looked forward also, towards my children for hope and purpose. It sees me through ~ even now. That's what I meant. It will hopefully do the same for you. Don't aim the anger at yourself ~ I meant the drug industry : they are to blame for this catastrophy. Yes I’m very angry at that and all involved. My son is my reason to go on. I have a question regarding stomach issues. Through all of this I’ve had a constantly churning empty feeling in my stomach, it’s sickening. No matter what I eat it churns and feels chemically and empty. I’m scared to take a probiotic or something but I was on them before all this started. I stopped all supplements when this started. Im sure smoking isn’t helping any of it but I can’t stop as the cravings are so strong. I thiugh it was part of the akathisia but not sure now. 2009-2011 mirtazapine 45mg plus clonaz as needed. Start Lexapro Nov 2011. June 2016 Zopiclone, July-Sept Trazodone 50mg, adverse reaction, ct, started pregabalin, reduced Lexapro from 20 to 15mg Start of 2017 on 15mg lexapro, 100mg pregablin. April added 15mg mirtazapine. End May. Start June stop pregablin after two week taper. End June. Stopped Lexapro 15mg 3 wk taper. Start July Mirt 30mg + Diaz daily 2-4mg End July returned to mirtaz 15mg + lexapro at 10mg reinstated. 4th Aug - 19 Sept Zopiclone (3.75 then 7.5 then 3.75 at the end) diazepam 7-8mg day since then. 16 Sept cut lex to 5mg. 5-6 Oct swapped 5mg lex to 8.15am and 15mg mirtazipine to 11pm 8 Oct onwards sticking to 6mg diazepam p/day 3 doses/ 2 Feb start 1mg clonazepam, stop Diaz. 21 Feb 2% cut lex. 8 March 12.5% clon cut. Now take .5 clon 9am, .375 5pm(0.875 mg daily clonazepam) 16 May @8% clon reduction so 9am dose .43(0.805 mg daily clonazepam) 2 July 10% Lexapro reduction to 4.5mg. 9 Aug .25mg lex cut to 4.25mg/ 13 Aug 4.5mg 2018 October Lexapro 4.5 to 4.25 mg clonazepam 0.80 mg mirtazapine 15 mg 2019 October present drugs: Lexapro 2.75 mg(tapers of 0.25 increments in last year at 5 -9 week intervals), clonazepam 0.78 mg(taper of .02 mg November 2018), mirtazapine 15 mg 2020 January 5th Lexapro taper to 2.57 mg(2%drop), total clonazepam 0.78 mg, mirtazapine 15 mg previous signature here recent dosing and symptom logs here Link to comment
bheb Posted December 2, 2017 Share Posted December 2, 2017 23 minutes ago, Nikki74 said: Through all of this I’ve had a constantly churning empty feeling in my stomach, it’s sickening. No matter what I eat it churns and feels chemically and empty Is it kind of like nervous butterflies feeling? I used to get that "stomach dropping" or "sinking pit" in my stomach, except it was constant almost. I attributed it to benzo wd personally. Aug-Dec 2015 Prozac 20mg / Dec 2015-Feb 2016 Prozac 15mg / Feb 2016-May2016 Prozac 20mg May 2016-June 2016 15mg June 2016-August 2016 10mg October 2016-January 2017 15mg, alternating agitation/akathisia sets in --> cold turkey January 2017 Clonazepam .5mg February 2017 Clonazepam 1mg (for a week) then .5mg morning and .25mg evening for about a month. Came down to .25mg morning and evening. May 1, 2017 Clonazepam .25mg morning and .125mg evening. // May 20, 2017 Clonazepam .25mg morning and .0625 evening (.3125 total). early June .28125 // early mid june .25mg // mid june .21875 // late june .1875 // early july .15625 // early mid july .125 mid july .09375mg // late july .0625 //early August 2017 down to .03125mg once a day, hopped off in mid August reinstated at .0625mg late August // Oct 16 - updose to .07mg and switch to oral Rosemont solution Nov 17 2017 reinstate Prozac .5mg // Nov 21 2017 prozac 1.6mg // Dec 18 2017 3mg prozac / fast taper off the reinstatement -- probably completely off early Oct 2018 June 2019 begin tapering off .07mg Clonazepam, Finish taper December 2019 Link to comment
Nikki74 Posted December 2, 2017 Author Share Posted December 2, 2017 10 minutes ago, bheb said: Is it kind of like nervous butterflies feeling? I used to get that "stomach dropping" or "sinking pit" in my stomach, except it was constant almost. I attributed it to benzo wd personally. Yes Bheb, it’s constant and feels like a sinking pit in some ways, feels yucky and churning and chemical like. Nervous definitely. I wonder if it’s just wd then. When i I had a brief spell of getting less agitation end of October it went. But I didn’t notice that until it came back! 2009-2011 mirtazapine 45mg plus clonaz as needed. Start Lexapro Nov 2011. June 2016 Zopiclone, July-Sept Trazodone 50mg, adverse reaction, ct, started pregabalin, reduced Lexapro from 20 to 15mg Start of 2017 on 15mg lexapro, 100mg pregablin. April added 15mg mirtazapine. End May. Start June stop pregablin after two week taper. End June. Stopped Lexapro 15mg 3 wk taper. Start July Mirt 30mg + Diaz daily 2-4mg End July returned to mirtaz 15mg + lexapro at 10mg reinstated. 4th Aug - 19 Sept Zopiclone (3.75 then 7.5 then 3.75 at the end) diazepam 7-8mg day since then. 16 Sept cut lex to 5mg. 5-6 Oct swapped 5mg lex to 8.15am and 15mg mirtazipine to 11pm 8 Oct onwards sticking to 6mg diazepam p/day 3 doses/ 2 Feb start 1mg clonazepam, stop Diaz. 21 Feb 2% cut lex. 8 March 12.5% clon cut. Now take .5 clon 9am, .375 5pm(0.875 mg daily clonazepam) 16 May @8% clon reduction so 9am dose .43(0.805 mg daily clonazepam) 2 July 10% Lexapro reduction to 4.5mg. 9 Aug .25mg lex cut to 4.25mg/ 13 Aug 4.5mg 2018 October Lexapro 4.5 to 4.25 mg clonazepam 0.80 mg mirtazapine 15 mg 2019 October present drugs: Lexapro 2.75 mg(tapers of 0.25 increments in last year at 5 -9 week intervals), clonazepam 0.78 mg(taper of .02 mg November 2018), mirtazapine 15 mg 2020 January 5th Lexapro taper to 2.57 mg(2%drop), total clonazepam 0.78 mg, mirtazapine 15 mg previous signature here recent dosing and symptom logs here Link to comment
Nikki74 Posted December 2, 2017 Author Share Posted December 2, 2017 I know I keep posting and I have to keep holding and waiting but I feel the diazepam is making depression worse. My crying spells and the bleak depression really come over me a couple of hours after taking each dose. Or maybe I’m reading too much into it. It’s just been a noticeable pattern. Today to distract I’ve done a couple of chores, some colouring in and a breathing exercise, which made me sleepy for about twenty minutes. 2009-2011 mirtazapine 45mg plus clonaz as needed. Start Lexapro Nov 2011. June 2016 Zopiclone, July-Sept Trazodone 50mg, adverse reaction, ct, started pregabalin, reduced Lexapro from 20 to 15mg Start of 2017 on 15mg lexapro, 100mg pregablin. April added 15mg mirtazapine. End May. Start June stop pregablin after two week taper. End June. Stopped Lexapro 15mg 3 wk taper. Start July Mirt 30mg + Diaz daily 2-4mg End July returned to mirtaz 15mg + lexapro at 10mg reinstated. 4th Aug - 19 Sept Zopiclone (3.75 then 7.5 then 3.75 at the end) diazepam 7-8mg day since then. 16 Sept cut lex to 5mg. 5-6 Oct swapped 5mg lex to 8.15am and 15mg mirtazipine to 11pm 8 Oct onwards sticking to 6mg diazepam p/day 3 doses/ 2 Feb start 1mg clonazepam, stop Diaz. 21 Feb 2% cut lex. 8 March 12.5% clon cut. Now take .5 clon 9am, .375 5pm(0.875 mg daily clonazepam) 16 May @8% clon reduction so 9am dose .43(0.805 mg daily clonazepam) 2 July 10% Lexapro reduction to 4.5mg. 9 Aug .25mg lex cut to 4.25mg/ 13 Aug 4.5mg 2018 October Lexapro 4.5 to 4.25 mg clonazepam 0.80 mg mirtazapine 15 mg 2019 October present drugs: Lexapro 2.75 mg(tapers of 0.25 increments in last year at 5 -9 week intervals), clonazepam 0.78 mg(taper of .02 mg November 2018), mirtazapine 15 mg 2020 January 5th Lexapro taper to 2.57 mg(2%drop), total clonazepam 0.78 mg, mirtazapine 15 mg previous signature here recent dosing and symptom logs here Link to comment
bheb Posted December 2, 2017 Share Posted December 2, 2017 Nikki, I guess it is possible about the diazepam, but wanted to chime in about my experience. I personally started to have more crying spells and depression the longer the akathisia went on. I think I was sobbing everyday starting about the second or third month of it. I think I just get so worn out by it and depressed that the akathisia stays. Aug-Dec 2015 Prozac 20mg / Dec 2015-Feb 2016 Prozac 15mg / Feb 2016-May2016 Prozac 20mg May 2016-June 2016 15mg June 2016-August 2016 10mg October 2016-January 2017 15mg, alternating agitation/akathisia sets in --> cold turkey January 2017 Clonazepam .5mg February 2017 Clonazepam 1mg (for a week) then .5mg morning and .25mg evening for about a month. Came down to .25mg morning and evening. May 1, 2017 Clonazepam .25mg morning and .125mg evening. // May 20, 2017 Clonazepam .25mg morning and .0625 evening (.3125 total). early June .28125 // early mid june .25mg // mid june .21875 // late june .1875 // early july .15625 // early mid july .125 mid july .09375mg // late july .0625 //early August 2017 down to .03125mg once a day, hopped off in mid August reinstated at .0625mg late August // Oct 16 - updose to .07mg and switch to oral Rosemont solution Nov 17 2017 reinstate Prozac .5mg // Nov 21 2017 prozac 1.6mg // Dec 18 2017 3mg prozac / fast taper off the reinstatement -- probably completely off early Oct 2018 June 2019 begin tapering off .07mg Clonazepam, Finish taper December 2019 Link to comment
Nikki74 Posted December 2, 2017 Author Share Posted December 2, 2017 1 minute ago, bheb said: Nikki, I guess it is possible about the diazepam, but wanted to chime in about my experience. I personally started to have more crying spells and depression the longer the akathisia went on. I think I was sobbing everyday starting about the second or third month of it. I think I just get so worn out by it and depressed that the akathisia stays. Thank you Bheb. And I’m so sorry this is going on so long for you. I’m only 5 months into akathisia and it’s seriously dragging me down. It makes sense as it is such an exhausting and distressing symptom. Thank you so much for commenting. At the end of the day I can’t change anything about the drugs I’m on anyway. Which adds to that feeling too I guess. Plus all the Christmas stuff is starting to get to me as much as I’m trying to avoid it, it’s everywhere. 2009-2011 mirtazapine 45mg plus clonaz as needed. Start Lexapro Nov 2011. June 2016 Zopiclone, July-Sept Trazodone 50mg, adverse reaction, ct, started pregabalin, reduced Lexapro from 20 to 15mg Start of 2017 on 15mg lexapro, 100mg pregablin. April added 15mg mirtazapine. End May. Start June stop pregablin after two week taper. End June. Stopped Lexapro 15mg 3 wk taper. Start July Mirt 30mg + Diaz daily 2-4mg End July returned to mirtaz 15mg + lexapro at 10mg reinstated. 4th Aug - 19 Sept Zopiclone (3.75 then 7.5 then 3.75 at the end) diazepam 7-8mg day since then. 16 Sept cut lex to 5mg. 5-6 Oct swapped 5mg lex to 8.15am and 15mg mirtazipine to 11pm 8 Oct onwards sticking to 6mg diazepam p/day 3 doses/ 2 Feb start 1mg clonazepam, stop Diaz. 21 Feb 2% cut lex. 8 March 12.5% clon cut. Now take .5 clon 9am, .375 5pm(0.875 mg daily clonazepam) 16 May @8% clon reduction so 9am dose .43(0.805 mg daily clonazepam) 2 July 10% Lexapro reduction to 4.5mg. 9 Aug .25mg lex cut to 4.25mg/ 13 Aug 4.5mg 2018 October Lexapro 4.5 to 4.25 mg clonazepam 0.80 mg mirtazapine 15 mg 2019 October present drugs: Lexapro 2.75 mg(tapers of 0.25 increments in last year at 5 -9 week intervals), clonazepam 0.78 mg(taper of .02 mg November 2018), mirtazapine 15 mg 2020 January 5th Lexapro taper to 2.57 mg(2%drop), total clonazepam 0.78 mg, mirtazapine 15 mg previous signature here recent dosing and symptom logs here Link to comment
AliG Posted December 2, 2017 Share Posted December 2, 2017 Nikki. I'm sorry ~ I also feel the Diazepam is perhaps making it worse and if it were me, I would start to slowly taper it, as 3 x day, at that dose is perhaps too much for you. Maybe you're experiencing interdose withdrawal. A noticable pattern is obviously important. Please keep track of that over the next week. Many SSRI's and SSNRI's over 20 years. Zoloft for 7 years followed by Effexor, Lexapro, Prozac, Cymbalta, Celexa, Pristiq, Valdoxan, Mianserin and more - on and off. No tapering. Cold turkey off Valdoxan - end of May 2014 Psych Drug - free since May 2014 . Link to comment
Nikki74 Posted December 2, 2017 Author Share Posted December 2, 2017 1 hour ago, AliG said: Nikki. I'm sorry ~ I also feel the Diazepam is perhaps making it worse and if it were me, I would start to slowly taper it, as 3 x day, at that dose is perhaps too much for you. Maybe you're experiencing interdose withdrawal. A noticable pattern is obviously important. Please keep track of that over the next week. I’ll keep daily notes. i have a problem. It’s rather sensitive. I was treated for proctitis years ago and I’ve not had it for a long while, but I’ve noticed some bleeding and tonight it’s worse (bleeding when I go to the loo, it’s a bowel issue). I would normally use a steroid to treat it but I don’t want to because of the mess I’m in! I’ve been hoping it wouldn’t get worse. But I have such an upset tummy every single day it seems to have stirred it up. Mescaselazine is the steroid I think. Re the diazepam. I think I’m still v v unstable. I hate taking the stuff but could it make matters worse to taper it now? Thanks Ali x 2009-2011 mirtazapine 45mg plus clonaz as needed. Start Lexapro Nov 2011. June 2016 Zopiclone, July-Sept Trazodone 50mg, adverse reaction, ct, started pregabalin, reduced Lexapro from 20 to 15mg Start of 2017 on 15mg lexapro, 100mg pregablin. April added 15mg mirtazapine. End May. Start June stop pregablin after two week taper. End June. Stopped Lexapro 15mg 3 wk taper. Start July Mirt 30mg + Diaz daily 2-4mg End July returned to mirtaz 15mg + lexapro at 10mg reinstated. 4th Aug - 19 Sept Zopiclone (3.75 then 7.5 then 3.75 at the end) diazepam 7-8mg day since then. 16 Sept cut lex to 5mg. 5-6 Oct swapped 5mg lex to 8.15am and 15mg mirtazipine to 11pm 8 Oct onwards sticking to 6mg diazepam p/day 3 doses/ 2 Feb start 1mg clonazepam, stop Diaz. 21 Feb 2% cut lex. 8 March 12.5% clon cut. Now take .5 clon 9am, .375 5pm(0.875 mg daily clonazepam) 16 May @8% clon reduction so 9am dose .43(0.805 mg daily clonazepam) 2 July 10% Lexapro reduction to 4.5mg. 9 Aug .25mg lex cut to 4.25mg/ 13 Aug 4.5mg 2018 October Lexapro 4.5 to 4.25 mg clonazepam 0.80 mg mirtazapine 15 mg 2019 October present drugs: Lexapro 2.75 mg(tapers of 0.25 increments in last year at 5 -9 week intervals), clonazepam 0.78 mg(taper of .02 mg November 2018), mirtazapine 15 mg 2020 January 5th Lexapro taper to 2.57 mg(2%drop), total clonazepam 0.78 mg, mirtazapine 15 mg previous signature here recent dosing and symptom logs here Link to comment
AliG Posted December 3, 2017 Share Posted December 3, 2017 It's probably best to keep everything the same and see how you go over the next few weeks. It is something to keep in mind for the future but stability is the priority, for now. I hope the other issue resolves itself ~ maybe you can see wait and see before taking anything right away. Many SSRI's and SSNRI's over 20 years. Zoloft for 7 years followed by Effexor, Lexapro, Prozac, Cymbalta, Celexa, Pristiq, Valdoxan, Mianserin and more - on and off. No tapering. Cold turkey off Valdoxan - end of May 2014 Psych Drug - free since May 2014 . Link to comment
Nikki74 Posted December 3, 2017 Author Share Posted December 3, 2017 6 hours ago, AliG said: It's probably best to keep everything the same and see how you go over the next few weeks. It is something to keep in mind for the future but stability is the priority, for now. I hope the other issue resolves itself ~ maybe you can see wait and see before taking anything right away. Ok. This depression is so thick I can barely face or do anything. Is this normal for wd? 2009-2011 mirtazapine 45mg plus clonaz as needed. Start Lexapro Nov 2011. June 2016 Zopiclone, July-Sept Trazodone 50mg, adverse reaction, ct, started pregabalin, reduced Lexapro from 20 to 15mg Start of 2017 on 15mg lexapro, 100mg pregablin. April added 15mg mirtazapine. End May. Start June stop pregablin after two week taper. End June. Stopped Lexapro 15mg 3 wk taper. Start July Mirt 30mg + Diaz daily 2-4mg End July returned to mirtaz 15mg + lexapro at 10mg reinstated. 4th Aug - 19 Sept Zopiclone (3.75 then 7.5 then 3.75 at the end) diazepam 7-8mg day since then. 16 Sept cut lex to 5mg. 5-6 Oct swapped 5mg lex to 8.15am and 15mg mirtazipine to 11pm 8 Oct onwards sticking to 6mg diazepam p/day 3 doses/ 2 Feb start 1mg clonazepam, stop Diaz. 21 Feb 2% cut lex. 8 March 12.5% clon cut. Now take .5 clon 9am, .375 5pm(0.875 mg daily clonazepam) 16 May @8% clon reduction so 9am dose .43(0.805 mg daily clonazepam) 2 July 10% Lexapro reduction to 4.5mg. 9 Aug .25mg lex cut to 4.25mg/ 13 Aug 4.5mg 2018 October Lexapro 4.5 to 4.25 mg clonazepam 0.80 mg mirtazapine 15 mg 2019 October present drugs: Lexapro 2.75 mg(tapers of 0.25 increments in last year at 5 -9 week intervals), clonazepam 0.78 mg(taper of .02 mg November 2018), mirtazapine 15 mg 2020 January 5th Lexapro taper to 2.57 mg(2%drop), total clonazepam 0.78 mg, mirtazapine 15 mg previous signature here recent dosing and symptom logs here Link to comment
Nikki74 Posted December 4, 2017 Author Share Posted December 4, 2017 On 03/12/2017 at 4:31 AM, AliG said: It's probably best to keep everything the same and see how you go over the next few weeks. It is something to keep in mind for the future but stability is the priority, for now. I hope the other issue resolves itself ~ maybe you can see wait and see before taking anything right away. Ok. This depression is so thick I can barely face or do anything. Is this normal for wd? 2009-2011 mirtazapine 45mg plus clonaz as needed. Start Lexapro Nov 2011. June 2016 Zopiclone, July-Sept Trazodone 50mg, adverse reaction, ct, started pregabalin, reduced Lexapro from 20 to 15mg Start of 2017 on 15mg lexapro, 100mg pregablin. April added 15mg mirtazapine. End May. Start June stop pregablin after two week taper. End June. Stopped Lexapro 15mg 3 wk taper. Start July Mirt 30mg + Diaz daily 2-4mg End July returned to mirtaz 15mg + lexapro at 10mg reinstated. 4th Aug - 19 Sept Zopiclone (3.75 then 7.5 then 3.75 at the end) diazepam 7-8mg day since then. 16 Sept cut lex to 5mg. 5-6 Oct swapped 5mg lex to 8.15am and 15mg mirtazipine to 11pm 8 Oct onwards sticking to 6mg diazepam p/day 3 doses/ 2 Feb start 1mg clonazepam, stop Diaz. 21 Feb 2% cut lex. 8 March 12.5% clon cut. Now take .5 clon 9am, .375 5pm(0.875 mg daily clonazepam) 16 May @8% clon reduction so 9am dose .43(0.805 mg daily clonazepam) 2 July 10% Lexapro reduction to 4.5mg. 9 Aug .25mg lex cut to 4.25mg/ 13 Aug 4.5mg 2018 October Lexapro 4.5 to 4.25 mg clonazepam 0.80 mg mirtazapine 15 mg 2019 October present drugs: Lexapro 2.75 mg(tapers of 0.25 increments in last year at 5 -9 week intervals), clonazepam 0.78 mg(taper of .02 mg November 2018), mirtazapine 15 mg 2020 January 5th Lexapro taper to 2.57 mg(2%drop), total clonazepam 0.78 mg, mirtazapine 15 mg previous signature here recent dosing and symptom logs here Link to comment
Nikki74 Posted December 4, 2017 Author Share Posted December 4, 2017 I thought I’d keep a symptom diary. I have a new symptom which is stomach bloating and pain with diarrhoea. Sunday slept until around 7am 7.45 lexapro, dozed 9am diazepam, cereal, dozed but depressed akathisia, legs rubbing together 10.30 got up, anxious, aka, depression very heavy 11.30 my dad visited, tearful, agitated, hands wringing, depressed, ate slice of bread, gut pain, diarrhoea 12.30 slight dip in symptoms, able to focus more 1pm diazepam 1.30 feel ok ish, but drunk feeling and vertigo. Ate sandwich friend visited, tearful but lower symptoms still, restless head, dizzy, sleepy but able to do a little knitting and sit relatively calmly, fear gone, no depression 3.50pm wringing hands 4.30 agitation rising 5pm diazepam, really didn’t want to take it. Drink feeling, dozy, trying to make dinner and memory v poor 6.30 dinner 7pm dozy, depressed, dp/dr, bloating 7.30 aka more pronounced, fear, despair 8pm stomach pains, applied heated pad for comfort 8.30 despair and depression 10pm gut pain, severe fatigue 11pm very low, Mirtazipine, slept about midnight. Fatigue is a constant with the cfs but worse muscle weakness now Akathisia never leaves but varies through the day, sometimes just restless head, sometimes agitation through body with crawling skin, sometimes wringing hands or rubbing legs together, sometimes terror. Monday Broken sleep 7am got up, bloated painful tummy and diarrhoea 7.45 lexapro got son off to school 8am painful tummy, plain cereal, back to bed, depression, fear, legs rubbing 2009-2011 mirtazapine 45mg plus clonaz as needed. Start Lexapro Nov 2011. June 2016 Zopiclone, July-Sept Trazodone 50mg, adverse reaction, ct, started pregabalin, reduced Lexapro from 20 to 15mg Start of 2017 on 15mg lexapro, 100mg pregablin. April added 15mg mirtazapine. End May. Start June stop pregablin after two week taper. End June. Stopped Lexapro 15mg 3 wk taper. Start July Mirt 30mg + Diaz daily 2-4mg End July returned to mirtaz 15mg + lexapro at 10mg reinstated. 4th Aug - 19 Sept Zopiclone (3.75 then 7.5 then 3.75 at the end) diazepam 7-8mg day since then. 16 Sept cut lex to 5mg. 5-6 Oct swapped 5mg lex to 8.15am and 15mg mirtazipine to 11pm 8 Oct onwards sticking to 6mg diazepam p/day 3 doses/ 2 Feb start 1mg clonazepam, stop Diaz. 21 Feb 2% cut lex. 8 March 12.5% clon cut. Now take .5 clon 9am, .375 5pm(0.875 mg daily clonazepam) 16 May @8% clon reduction so 9am dose .43(0.805 mg daily clonazepam) 2 July 10% Lexapro reduction to 4.5mg. 9 Aug .25mg lex cut to 4.25mg/ 13 Aug 4.5mg 2018 October Lexapro 4.5 to 4.25 mg clonazepam 0.80 mg mirtazapine 15 mg 2019 October present drugs: Lexapro 2.75 mg(tapers of 0.25 increments in last year at 5 -9 week intervals), clonazepam 0.78 mg(taper of .02 mg November 2018), mirtazapine 15 mg 2020 January 5th Lexapro taper to 2.57 mg(2%drop), total clonazepam 0.78 mg, mirtazapine 15 mg previous signature here recent dosing and symptom logs here Link to comment
UnfoldingSky Posted December 5, 2017 Share Posted December 5, 2017 Nikki, glad to hear your Dad and friend visited but so sad to see all the symptoms as you go about the day. I am not a medical professional and nothing I say is a medical opinion or meant to be medical advice, please seek a competent and trusted medical professional to consult for all medical decisions. Link to comment
Nikki74 Posted December 5, 2017 Author Share Posted December 5, 2017 (edited) 58 minutes ago, UnfoldingSky said: Nikki, glad to hear your Dad and friend visited but so sad to see all the symptoms as you go about the day. Thank you for writing US. I don’t know what to do. Everything is so bad. My gut pain and diarrhoea is through the day and bleeding when I go too. Yesterday I had intrusive memories all day with it all too. I’m holding on but can’t see any light. Were you ever this bad? Ive been calling Baylissa’s helpline but she’s not sure I’ll stabilise. Edited December 5, 2017 by Nikki74 2009-2011 mirtazapine 45mg plus clonaz as needed. Start Lexapro Nov 2011. June 2016 Zopiclone, July-Sept Trazodone 50mg, adverse reaction, ct, started pregabalin, reduced Lexapro from 20 to 15mg Start of 2017 on 15mg lexapro, 100mg pregablin. April added 15mg mirtazapine. End May. Start June stop pregablin after two week taper. End June. Stopped Lexapro 15mg 3 wk taper. Start July Mirt 30mg + Diaz daily 2-4mg End July returned to mirtaz 15mg + lexapro at 10mg reinstated. 4th Aug - 19 Sept Zopiclone (3.75 then 7.5 then 3.75 at the end) diazepam 7-8mg day since then. 16 Sept cut lex to 5mg. 5-6 Oct swapped 5mg lex to 8.15am and 15mg mirtazipine to 11pm 8 Oct onwards sticking to 6mg diazepam p/day 3 doses/ 2 Feb start 1mg clonazepam, stop Diaz. 21 Feb 2% cut lex. 8 March 12.5% clon cut. Now take .5 clon 9am, .375 5pm(0.875 mg daily clonazepam) 16 May @8% clon reduction so 9am dose .43(0.805 mg daily clonazepam) 2 July 10% Lexapro reduction to 4.5mg. 9 Aug .25mg lex cut to 4.25mg/ 13 Aug 4.5mg 2018 October Lexapro 4.5 to 4.25 mg clonazepam 0.80 mg mirtazapine 15 mg 2019 October present drugs: Lexapro 2.75 mg(tapers of 0.25 increments in last year at 5 -9 week intervals), clonazepam 0.78 mg(taper of .02 mg November 2018), mirtazapine 15 mg 2020 January 5th Lexapro taper to 2.57 mg(2%drop), total clonazepam 0.78 mg, mirtazapine 15 mg previous signature here recent dosing and symptom logs here Link to comment
AliG Posted December 5, 2017 Share Posted December 5, 2017 It's going to be ok , Nikki. It's all windows and waves ~ this could take some time. You have to have some faith in the process ~ yes, it is normal for withdrawal. The fact that the akathisia is changing and variable is hopeful. It shows some signs of healing. Many SSRI's and SSNRI's over 20 years. Zoloft for 7 years followed by Effexor, Lexapro, Prozac, Cymbalta, Celexa, Pristiq, Valdoxan, Mianserin and more - on and off. No tapering. Cold turkey off Valdoxan - end of May 2014 Psych Drug - free since May 2014 . Link to comment
bheb Posted December 5, 2017 Share Posted December 5, 2017 6 hours ago, Nikki74 said: Ive been calling Baylissa’s helpline but she’s not sure I’ll stabilise. What did she say then? I agree with Ali, I think it is a good sign that the akathisia changes, even if all its forms are miserable. Aug-Dec 2015 Prozac 20mg / Dec 2015-Feb 2016 Prozac 15mg / Feb 2016-May2016 Prozac 20mg May 2016-June 2016 15mg June 2016-August 2016 10mg October 2016-January 2017 15mg, alternating agitation/akathisia sets in --> cold turkey January 2017 Clonazepam .5mg February 2017 Clonazepam 1mg (for a week) then .5mg morning and .25mg evening for about a month. Came down to .25mg morning and evening. May 1, 2017 Clonazepam .25mg morning and .125mg evening. // May 20, 2017 Clonazepam .25mg morning and .0625 evening (.3125 total). early June .28125 // early mid june .25mg // mid june .21875 // late june .1875 // early july .15625 // early mid july .125 mid july .09375mg // late july .0625 //early August 2017 down to .03125mg once a day, hopped off in mid August reinstated at .0625mg late August // Oct 16 - updose to .07mg and switch to oral Rosemont solution Nov 17 2017 reinstate Prozac .5mg // Nov 21 2017 prozac 1.6mg // Dec 18 2017 3mg prozac / fast taper off the reinstatement -- probably completely off early Oct 2018 June 2019 begin tapering off .07mg Clonazepam, Finish taper December 2019 Link to comment
Nikki74 Posted December 5, 2017 Author Share Posted December 5, 2017 1 hour ago, AliG said: It's going to be ok , Nikki. It's all windows and waves ~ this could take some time. You have to have some faith in the process ~ yes, it is normal for withdrawal. The fact that the akathisia is changing and variable is hopeful. It shows some signs of healing. Thank you Ali. It’s helpful to have someone else look over things and be able to see the variants and that these are signs of healing and hope. I think I’m battle weary as it’s been nearly 6 months since it all started and before that I’d been through a year of med changes too trying to get to a good place, which did happen here and there! Plus my CFS had got so much worse 18 months ago. Thank you for your encouragement and support X 2009-2011 mirtazapine 45mg plus clonaz as needed. Start Lexapro Nov 2011. June 2016 Zopiclone, July-Sept Trazodone 50mg, adverse reaction, ct, started pregabalin, reduced Lexapro from 20 to 15mg Start of 2017 on 15mg lexapro, 100mg pregablin. April added 15mg mirtazapine. End May. Start June stop pregablin after two week taper. End June. Stopped Lexapro 15mg 3 wk taper. Start July Mirt 30mg + Diaz daily 2-4mg End July returned to mirtaz 15mg + lexapro at 10mg reinstated. 4th Aug - 19 Sept Zopiclone (3.75 then 7.5 then 3.75 at the end) diazepam 7-8mg day since then. 16 Sept cut lex to 5mg. 5-6 Oct swapped 5mg lex to 8.15am and 15mg mirtazipine to 11pm 8 Oct onwards sticking to 6mg diazepam p/day 3 doses/ 2 Feb start 1mg clonazepam, stop Diaz. 21 Feb 2% cut lex. 8 March 12.5% clon cut. Now take .5 clon 9am, .375 5pm(0.875 mg daily clonazepam) 16 May @8% clon reduction so 9am dose .43(0.805 mg daily clonazepam) 2 July 10% Lexapro reduction to 4.5mg. 9 Aug .25mg lex cut to 4.25mg/ 13 Aug 4.5mg 2018 October Lexapro 4.5 to 4.25 mg clonazepam 0.80 mg mirtazapine 15 mg 2019 October present drugs: Lexapro 2.75 mg(tapers of 0.25 increments in last year at 5 -9 week intervals), clonazepam 0.78 mg(taper of .02 mg November 2018), mirtazapine 15 mg 2020 January 5th Lexapro taper to 2.57 mg(2%drop), total clonazepam 0.78 mg, mirtazapine 15 mg previous signature here recent dosing and symptom logs here Link to comment
Nikki74 Posted December 5, 2017 Author Share Posted December 5, 2017 1 hour ago, bheb said: What did she say then? I agree with Ali, I think it is a good sign that the akathisia changes, even if all its forms are miserable. She was quite vague saying I may improve or it may get worse in which case I can decide what to do... ie start tapering. I called her again today to get clarity and she said she doesn’t like to predict but didn’t mean there’s no hope I won’t stabilise. Thank you Bheb. I know you’re a fellow aka sufferer so it’s encouraging that you agree with Ali about how it varies. How are you doing? Are you on the akathisia group on fb? 2009-2011 mirtazapine 45mg plus clonaz as needed. Start Lexapro Nov 2011. June 2016 Zopiclone, July-Sept Trazodone 50mg, adverse reaction, ct, started pregabalin, reduced Lexapro from 20 to 15mg Start of 2017 on 15mg lexapro, 100mg pregablin. April added 15mg mirtazapine. End May. Start June stop pregablin after two week taper. End June. Stopped Lexapro 15mg 3 wk taper. Start July Mirt 30mg + Diaz daily 2-4mg End July returned to mirtaz 15mg + lexapro at 10mg reinstated. 4th Aug - 19 Sept Zopiclone (3.75 then 7.5 then 3.75 at the end) diazepam 7-8mg day since then. 16 Sept cut lex to 5mg. 5-6 Oct swapped 5mg lex to 8.15am and 15mg mirtazipine to 11pm 8 Oct onwards sticking to 6mg diazepam p/day 3 doses/ 2 Feb start 1mg clonazepam, stop Diaz. 21 Feb 2% cut lex. 8 March 12.5% clon cut. Now take .5 clon 9am, .375 5pm(0.875 mg daily clonazepam) 16 May @8% clon reduction so 9am dose .43(0.805 mg daily clonazepam) 2 July 10% Lexapro reduction to 4.5mg. 9 Aug .25mg lex cut to 4.25mg/ 13 Aug 4.5mg 2018 October Lexapro 4.5 to 4.25 mg clonazepam 0.80 mg mirtazapine 15 mg 2019 October present drugs: Lexapro 2.75 mg(tapers of 0.25 increments in last year at 5 -9 week intervals), clonazepam 0.78 mg(taper of .02 mg November 2018), mirtazapine 15 mg 2020 January 5th Lexapro taper to 2.57 mg(2%drop), total clonazepam 0.78 mg, mirtazapine 15 mg previous signature here recent dosing and symptom logs here Link to comment
AliG Posted December 5, 2017 Share Posted December 5, 2017 Please read this Nikki~ Many SSRI's and SSNRI's over 20 years. Zoloft for 7 years followed by Effexor, Lexapro, Prozac, Cymbalta, Celexa, Pristiq, Valdoxan, Mianserin and more - on and off. No tapering. Cold turkey off Valdoxan - end of May 2014 Psych Drug - free since May 2014 . Link to comment
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