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Nikki74: Lexapro mirtazapine diazepam akathisia

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Nikki74
1 hour ago, baroquep said:

Nicki, As Shep requested above, could you please post your withdrawal history signature as instructed below?  

 

It will really help us to have a timeline of your drugs and I'm confused on how long you've been on them, especially the Valium and Zopiclone. Please fill out a signature.  Include drugs, doses, dates, and discontinuations & reinstatements in the last 12-24 months. Also include supplements. This will help us give you the most accurate advice we can. 

  • Any drugs and supplements prior to 24 months ago can just be listed with start and stop years. 
  • Please use actual dates or approximate dates (mid-June, Late October) rather than relative time frames (last week, 3 months ago) 
  • Spell out months, e.g. "October" or "Oct."; 9/1/2016 can be interpreted as Jan. 9, 2016 or Sept. 1, 2016. 
  • Please leave out symptoms and diagnoses. 
  • A list is easier to understand than one or multiple paragraphs. 
  • This is a direct link to your signature:  Account Settings – Create or Edit a signature.

 

Hi I've posted everything in this thread as it wouldn't accept it on the signature. It was way over 12 lines. So it's all posted in this thread on page one.

 

ive been on daily diazepam since early July this year (details above) and was on Zopiclone for seven weeks up until three weeks ago.

 

i did use 2mg diazepam here and there maybe twice a month since Jan 2017. 

 

Zop 3rd Aug 2017 - 19th Sept 2017 

Diazepam daily from July 2017 daily 2-4mg

after stopping Zop 19th Sept I use 7-8mg a day

 

im sorry I don't know how else I can give you the info as it won't accept my signature as too many lines. 

 

nikki 

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baroquep

Hi Nicki, your thread has been reported so that all of the moderators can chime in.  Is there anyway for you to condense your signature into 12 lines so that moderators can see at a glance what they are dealing with?  It is impossible to read through the entire thread to understand what is going on.  Maybe even put the last 6 months in more detail in your signature. 

 

Example of a tapering history

September 15, 2016 - switched from Pristiq 50mg to Effexor XR 75mg 
November 10, 2016 - reduced to 67.5 Effexor XR
December 9, 2016 - reduced 60.75
January 5, 2017 - reduced 54.67
January 30, 2017 - reduced to 49.0
February 20, 2017 - reduced to 44.0 
May 20, 2017 - reduced to 40.25 (holding for additional month due to late onset of withdrawal symptoms after this taper)
July 17, 2017 - reduced to 38.24
August 15, 2017 - reduced to 37.5 (50% of my original dose)

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Nikki74
3 minutes ago, baroquep said:

Hi Nicki, your thread has been reported so that all of the moderators can chime in.  Is there anyway for you to condense your signature into 12 lines so that moderators can see at a glance what they are dealing with?  It is impossible to read through the entire thread to understand what is going on.  Maybe even put the last 6 months in more detail in your signature. 

 

Example of a tapering history

September 15, 2016 - switched from Pristiq 50mg to Effexor XR 75mg 
November 10, 2016 - reduced to 67.5 Effexor XR
December 9, 2016 - reduced 60.75
January 5, 2017 - reduced 54.67
January 30, 2017 - reduced to 49.0
February 20, 2017 - reduced to 44.0 
May 20, 2017 - reduced to 40.25 (holding for additional month due to late onset of withdrawal symptoms after this taper)
July 17, 2017 - reduced to 38.24
August 15, 2017 - reduced to 37.5 (50% of my original dose)

Ok will try thank you v much I'm in terrible state 

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Nikki74
12 minutes ago, Nikki74 said:

Ok will try thank you v much I'm in terrible state 

Start of 2017 on 15mg lexapro, 100mg pregabalin

March tried 4 days propranolol

April added 15mg Mirtazipine 

End May -Start June stop Pregab

End June stopped lexapro 15mg

Start July Mirtazipine 30mg + Diaz daily 2-4mg

End July mirtaz 15mg + lex10mg

4th Aug - 19 Sept Zopiclone 

diazepam 7-8mg day since then

16 Sept cut lex to 5mg

 

 

its 12 lines but it will not accept it! :/ 

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Nikki74
17 minutes ago, baroquep said:

Hi Nicki, your thread has been reported so that all of the moderators can chime in.  Is there anyway for you to condense your signature into 12 lines so that moderators can see at a glance what they are dealing with?  It is impossible to read through the entire thread to understand what is going on.  Maybe even put the last 6 months in more detail in your signature. 

 

Example of a tapering history

September 15, 2016 - switched from Pristiq 50mg to Effexor XR 75mg 
November 10, 2016 - reduced to 67.5 Effexor XR
December 9, 2016 - reduced 60.75
January 5, 2017 - reduced 54.67
January 30, 2017 - reduced to 49.0
February 20, 2017 - reduced to 44.0 
May 20, 2017 - reduced to 40.25 (holding for additional month due to late onset of withdrawal symptoms after this taper)
July 17, 2017 - reduced to 38.24
August 15, 2017 - reduced to 37.5 (50% of my original dose)

I tried but it still won't accept it! It's 12 lines 

 

Start of 2017 on 15mg lexapro, 100mg pregabalin

March tried 4 days propranolol

April added 15mg Mirtazipine 

End May -Start June stop Pregab

End June stopped lexapro 15mg

Start July Mirtazipine 30mg + Diaz daily 2-4mg

End July mirtaz 15mg + lex10mg

4th Aug - 19 Sept Zopiclone 

diazepam 7-8mg day since then

16 Sept cut lex to 5mg

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Nikki74

I haven't been anywhere near stable since I stopped pregabalin and lexapro in June. I only came off them as my GP wanted to see if Mirtazipine would be enough for me and I'd not been able to go up on the pregabalin without increased anxiety. I remember first getting rls when I started to taper the pregabalin. Then as I started to taper the lexapro I started to get paranoia and OCD and intrusive thoughts.

 

I can't bear this. It's ruined my life and I cannot see improvement as I have akasthesia, insomnia apart from the odd hour or two at night then tossing and turning. My short term memory is so bad I forget I've just done something like spread butter on bread. I am super super sensitive to everything now. I don't know what to eat but have to do just easy food for myself and my son as I can't manage nutritional stuff. I can't even get my head round it.  I'm housebound apart from my friend taking me to church for prayer ministry. I can't focus on conversation and can't bear to shower or wash myself as I'm so restless.

 

I'm smoking about 15-20 cigarettes a day though before July I was vaping and only 3 or 4 cigarettes. I stopped vaping thinking it might be that causing my issues. Now I'm scared to start it again.

 

I can't see how I'm going to get any stability to work from.  I appreciate all of your help. Please help me. I feel suicidal from early hours due to the akasthesia and other smptoms, lack of sleep or peace, and fear of what's to come. Gratitude to you all.

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Shep

Nikki, well done on the signature.  Thank you. 

 

I see you added in clonazepam as needed 2009 - 2011. This is really important because clonazepam, Zopiclone, and diazepam are all in the benzo / z-drug class of drugs and can cause kindling, more so than other drugs. Kindling means that each time you come off the drugs or make drastic dose changes, your nervous system becomes more hyper-sensitive.

 

For this reason, you will need to go very slow in your tapering. Also, you really need to set up a very strict dosing schedule for all your drugs and stick to it religiously. Your nervous system is crying out for stability. 

 

The first thing you need to do is write down a schedule for your drugs. Since your updose in diazepam has been in the past 2 weeks, you can safely reduce it quickly. I think that will help with the agitation and insomnia. Part of that is likely a paradoxical reaction. You are also in acute zopiclone withdrawal, as you came off that cold turkey at 3.75 - 7.5 mg only 11 days ago. I would not recommend reinstating that at this point though, but rather, taking it into consideration with your diazepam dose. 

 

What are your thoughts in reducing the diazepam? In order to help with the Zopiclone withdrawal, since you came off of 3.75 mg Zopilcone, that is equivalent to 2.5 mg of diazepam (according to the benzo equivalency chart). 

 

Since you were doing much better on 2 - 4 mg diazepam (averaging 3 mg), you could take the average of 3 mg and add 2.5 mg to help with the z-drug withdrawal, for a total of 5.5 mg diazepam. 

 

Please let me know what you think of reducing your diazepam down to 5.5 mg a day. And then please make a schedule for ALL your current drugs (mirtazapine, Lexapro, and diazepam) and post it with the time of day and the dose for each drug listed. Once you have your schedule, please stick to it without changing your diazepam doses. 

 

You may also want to schedule the number of cigarettes you smoke throughout the day. The nicotine is likely adding to your akathisia. 

 

You can do this, Nikki. Once you have your schedule and are sticking to it (no more random benzos), I think you're going to feel much better. 

Edited by Shep
fixed math mistake

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Nikki74
1 hour ago, Shep said:

Nikki, well done on the signature.  Thank you. 

 

I see you added in clonazepam as needed 2009 - 2011. This is really important because clonazepam, Zopiclone, and diazepam are all in the benzo / z-drug class of drugs and can cause kindling, more so than other drugs. Kindling means that each time you come off the drugs or make drastic dose changes, your nervous system becomes more hyper-sensitive.

 

For this reason, you will need to go very slow in your tapering. Also, you really need to set up a very strict dosing schedule for all your drugs and stick to it religiously. Your nervous system is crying out for stability. 

 

The first thing you need to do is write down a schedule for your drugs. Since your updose in diazepam has been in the past 2 weeks, you can safely reduce it quickly. I think that will help with the agitation and insomnia. Part of that is likely a paradoxical reaction. You are also in acute zopiclone withdrawal, as you came off that cold turkey at 3.75 - 7.5 mg only 11 days ago. I would not recommend reinstating that at this point though, but rather, taking it into consideration with your diazepam dose. 

 

What are your thoughts in reducing the diazepam? In order to help with the Zopiclone withdrawal, since you came off of 3.75 mg Zopilcone, that is equivalent to 2.5 mg of diazepam (according to the benzo equivalency chart). 

 

Since you were doing much better on 2 - 4 mg diazepam (averaging 3 mg), you could take the average of 3 mg and add 2.5 mg to help with the z-drug withdrawal, for a total of 5.5 mg diazepam. 

 

Please let me know what you think of reducing your diazepam down to 6.5 mg a day. And then please make a schedule for ALL your current drugs (mirtazapine, Lexapro, and diazepam) and post it with the time of day and the dose for each drug listed. Once you have your schedule, please stick to it without changing your diazepam doses. 

 

You may also want to schedule the number of cigarettes you smoke throughout the day. The nicotine is likely adding to your akathisia. 

 

You can do this, Nikki. Once you have your schedule and are sticking to it (no more random benzos), I think you're going to feel much better. 

Hi Shep, thank you.

 

Ok, so you say 5.5mg diazepam but then 6.5, do you mean 5.5?  I'm ok with that, so far today I've only had 4mg. So if I have only another 1.5 today? Should I expect any major withdrawal effects in a few days as I'm dropping to 5.5mg per day after three weeks on higher doses? Just to clarify, w/c 11th Sept I took 52.5mg diaz for the week, w/c 18th Sept I took 54mg for the week, w/c 25th Sept I'm on course for 41.5mg if I take 5.5 today and tomorrow, is this going to be ok to go down to 5.5 per day?

 

I'm not sure what times to take my meds.

 

Currently I take the Mirtazipine once my son has gone to school at 8.15/8.30am  I feel depressed and shaky after but today levelled out by 12.30 and have had a relatively still afternoon though not what I'd call a happy one, just still ish and keeping myself warm and watered. I did take 2mg diaz at 12.30 and 2mg just not at 5.30pm.  I do find I get a weird adrenaline rush when I take it and then a bit later, with prickly skin too. But maybe that will level out if I'm going to be taking less?

 

So, Mirt 8.15am

 

Diaz 2mg 12.30

 

Diaz 2mg 17.30

 

Escitalopram 5mg at bedtime (between 11-12pm) with 1.5mg Diaz?

 

And by schedule cigarettes, you mean stick to set times, and a limited number? Should I try vaping again in place of some?

 

My absolute worse times with akasthesia and adrenaline and panic etc is 4am-Mirtaz time. Then for a couple hours after I come round from Mirtaz.

 

How long should I stabilise on this?

 

What do you foresee as the next steps? Am I looking at years of tapering?

Edited by Nikki74
Extra diaz detail for past three weeks plus cigarette questions

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Nikki74

Once stabilised, which drug will go first? If it's the benzo last, how do you deal with hitting tolerance and having to up the dose? I really don't want to have to do that. So many questions! But you've already given me some focus here so thank you.

 

Just remembered I took Zopiclone last June 2016 for about four nights. So possibly at play here too? I think that short spell on them with no guidance might have triggered withdrawal which sent me into the doctors and them prescribing me Trazodone which I took for three months (July-Sept 2016) at 50mg before stopping that ct to start the pregabalin! I had a bad reaction to the Trazodone, extreme muscle weakness and twitching on top of my CFS symptoms!

 

In June this year I had started taking high doses of vit B complex, then omega 3 which made my anxiety worse, one dose of co enzyme Q10 which gave me palpatations and a panic attack, and one low dose of D-Ribose which I had an adverse reaction to with severe panic.  I was also taking a gut bacteria supplement for most of this year until July. I stopped ALL supplements when things got very bad in July. 

 

Just adding in case it's relevant!

Edited by Nikki74
Extra detail!

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Shep
20 minutes ago, Nikki74 said:

Ok, so you say 5.5mg diazepam but then 6.5, do you mean 5.5?

 

Thank you, Nikki. I apologize.  You are correct - that should be 5.5 mg. I'll go back and edit my post so it doesn't present any more confusion. You have less cog fog than you think.  :)

 

 

21 minutes ago, Nikki74 said:

So if I have only another 1.5 today? Should I expect any major withdrawal effects in a few days as I'm dropping to 5.5mg per day after three weeks on higher doses? Just to clarify, w/c 11th Sept I took 52.5mg diaz for the week, w/c 18th Sept I took 54mg for the week, w/c 25th Sept I'm on course for 41.5mg if I take 5.5 today and tomorrow, is this going to be ok to go down to 5.5 per day?

 

 

I'm hoping instead of feeling withdrawal effects, you feel some relief, as it looks like the diazepam was causing problems. Reducing a drug that's creating a paradoxical reaction will lessen the paradoxical reaction, leading to feeling better. 

 

Usually when people make changes to benzos within the first 2 - 4 weeks of the last major change (either reinstating,  updosing, or reducing), they do better. So there's this "window of opportunity" to make a change within a 2 - 4 week range. This is very specific to benzos (and not antidepressants). So you are within that window of opportunity for the diazepam and zopiclone. After 4 weeks, it becomes more risky to make any drastic changes.

 

So, yes, going down to 5.5 mg per day now is what I would do. Please note it takes at least 4 days for your nervous system to register the change and then a week or longer to stabilize.

 

 

30 minutes ago, Nikki74 said:

And by schedule cigarettes, you mean stick to set times, and a limited number? Should I try vaping again in place of some?

 

I would set a certain number that you were last comfortable on and then try to stick to it as much as possible. Anything you can do to keep the same amount of nicotine in your system each day will help your nervous system stabilize. 

 

I'm not able to answer your question on vaping, but please feel free to read and to post questions here: 

 

Smoking cessation, nicotine, e-cigs

 

 

 

32 minutes ago, Nikki74 said:

What do you foresee as the next steps? Am I looking at years of tapering?

 

Yes, it will take a number of years to do a slow and steady taper off of a benzo and two antidepressants, especially with a destabilized nervous system. However, that doesn't mean you will feel this bad for several years. The goal is to stabilize and hold for quite awhile and then set up a slow and steady taper while remaining as functional as possible throughout the entire process. 

 

And you'll also pick up a lot of non-drug coping skills along the way. So you'll be prepared to live your life off these drugs.

 

Non-drug techniques to cope with emotional symptoms

 

20 minutes ago, Nikki74 said:

Once stabilised, which drug will go first? If it's the benzo last, how do you deal with hitting tolerance and having to up the dose? I really don't want to have to do that. So many questions! But you've already given me some focus here so thank you.

 

Let's see where you're at once your stable. Your symptoms will guide you into making that decision. 

 

Tolerance on benzos is a very controversial issue which we've had a number of discussions on over in the benzo forum area. 

 

Benzo "tolerance withdrawal" during tapering -- does it exist?

 

Please let us know over the coming days how you're feeling with the diazepam reduction and how you're doing with the Lexapro reinstatement. Also, please pick an item or two off the non-drug coping skills section I posted and let us know how you do. Perhaps a guided meditation to help with sleep,  some breathing techniques, or if you like to color or journal, there are some great resources to check out in that thread. All of these things can be extremely helpful. As you come off the drugs, bring in the non-drug coping skills and make them a daily part of your life. You'll come out of this a bit of a guru. ;)

 

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Nikki74
30 minutes ago, Shep said:

 

Thank you, Nikki. I apologize.  You are correct - that should be 5.5 mg. I'll go back and edit my post so it doesn't present any more confusion. You have less cog fog than you think.  :)

 

 

 

 

I'm hoping instead of feeling withdrawal effects, you feel some relief, as it looks like the diazepam was causing problems. Reducing a drug that's creating a paradoxical reaction will lessen the paradoxical reaction, leading to feeling better. 

 

Usually when people make changes to benzos within the first 2 - 4 weeks of the last major change (either reinstating,  updosing, or reducing), they do better. So there's this "window of opportunity" to make a change within a 2 - 4 week range. This is very specific to benzos (and not antidepressants). So you are within that window of opportunity for the diazepam and zopiclone. After 4 weeks, it becomes more risky to make any drastic changes.

 

So, yes, going down to 5.5 mg per day now is what I would do. Please note it takes at least 4 days for your nervous system to register the change and then a week or longer to stabilize.

 

 

 

I would set a certain number that you were last comfortable on and then try to stick to it as much as possible. Anything you can do to keep the same amount of nicotine in your system each day will help your nervous system stabilize. 

 

I'm not able to answer your question on vaping, but please feel free to read and to post questions here: 

 

Smoking cessation, nicotine, e-cigs

 

 

 

 

Yes, it will take a number of years to do a slow and steady taper off of a benzo and two antidepressants, especially with a destabilized nervous system. However, that doesn't mean you will feel this bad for several years. The goal is to stabilize and hold for quite awhile and then set up a slow and steady taper while remaining as functional as possible throughout the entire process. 

 

And you'll also pick up a lot of non-drug coping skills along the way. So you'll be prepared to live your life off these drugs.

 

Non-drug techniques to cope with emotional symptoms

 

 

Let's see where you're at once your stable. Your symptoms will guide you into making that decision. 

 

Tolerance on benzos is a very controversial issue which we've had a number of discussions on over in the benzo forum area. 

 

Benzo "tolerance withdrawal" during tapering -- does it exist?

 

Please let us know over the coming days how you're feeling with the diazepam reduction and how you're doing with the Lexapro reinstatement. Also, please pick an item or two off the non-drug coping skills section I posted and let us know how you do. Perhaps a guided meditation to help with sleep,  some breathing techniques, or if you like to color or journal, there are some great resources to check out in that thread. All of these things can be extremely helpful. As you come off the drugs, bring in the non-drug coping skills and make them a daily part of your life. You'll come out of this a bit of a guru. ;)

 

Oh goodness, several years. But then I've been medicated for 8 years and before that was on Seroxat 97-99 ish. So I guess it's the price to pay for taking this stuff.

 

Do you really think my system will stabilise to move forward?  I really can't bear this akasthesia for years!  

 

Thanks for your support and info and everything!

 

I've never had a good reaction to meditation, sends me into a very dark place and intrusive thoughts and almost lose touch with reality (like worse than I am now!).  Breathing stuff I try. As well as listening to soothing nature sounds n stuff. But sometimes nothing gets through, like in the early hours. It's like hell!

 

It's interesting about the Zopiclone withdrawal, I wonder how long that will go on?

 

I've been getting a sort of weak feeling in my arms and legs today. I'm hoping that'll stabilise or improve too as I stabilise.

 

Will I really be able to live some sort of a life during the coming years?  

 

Do you think it's ok to leave the Mirtaz in the morning?

 

Thanks so much again.

 

 

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Nikki74

Ok I doubt anyone will get back to me today as I've already had a heap of input BUT...

 

regarding the drop of my diazepam to 5.5 - which I reeaaallly want to do to see if it helps- I've looked back over the weeks preceding my dose increase.

 

21st August week I used 8mg but this was less than previous weeks and I did notice it

28th August week I used 14mg ( so average 4mg a day)

4th Sept week I used 14mg as above

11th Sept week I used 52.5 

18th Sept week I used 54

25th Sept week I'll have used 41.5

 

The 5.5 calculation was made by Shep after I said I'd been taking 2-4mg a day before my rapid increase in the past 3 weeks. But in fact I was using 4mg a day (some days 2mg, some days 6mg). Does this mean I should be taking 6.5mg - the 4mg average plus 2.5 to cover the Zopiclone withdrawal?  You said about a 2-4 week window with benzos and so 4 weeks ago I took 14mg.  Oh those were the days! Wish I could get back to that!

 

However, that means it's only .5 less than I've been on this week and not much of a drop to see if it suits me better.

 

Just worried, if Shep could advise again on this that'd be great. THANk YOU!! 

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Nikki74

Will the akasthesia ease as I stabilise? 

 

I know everyone's different but have you seen someone like me do ok? 

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Nikki74

Oh darn it!!! I just took 1.5 diazepam tablets instead of 1.5mg, i.e. I took 3mg which means I've had 7mg today. Was meant to be going down to the 5.5mg. This won't screw it up will it? Still within the 4 week window of change. Means I'll be extra agitated and symptomatic in early hours I bet. 

 

Stupid mistake. See I do have cog fog!! 

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UnfoldingSky
19 hours ago, Nikki74 said:

Thank you. My best friend is helping with chores o cannot do and is praying with me. She thinks the answer is going to church but I went yday, my first trip out for a month, and although the praying was helpful I feel I'm paying for the stimulation and activity today.

 

i feel I can't go on.

 

I know it seems impossible, but you can make it through.  I am glad your friend is at least trying to help.  Going out can prove difficult, I had great trouble doing that too usually unless it was to a natural area. Man made environments particularly with lots of noise, artificial lighting, people were very hard to deal with. In a natural area though I  often was okay.  Getting there though could be a huge undertaking.  Other people who have not lived it don't usually understand how overwhelming it can be.  

 

 

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UnfoldingSky
6 hours ago, Nikki74 said:

Oh darn it!!! I just took 1.5 diazepam tablets instead of 1.5mg, i.e. I took 3mg which means I've had 7mg today. Was meant to be going down to the 5.5mg. This won't screw it up will it? Still within the 4 week window of change. Means I'll be extra agitated and symptomatic in early hours I bet. 

 

Stupid mistake. See I do have cog fog!! 


Nikki, have you got a dosette? If not if you can you might want to get one.  I was useless for remembering things and it helped enormously with keeping track of my pills.

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Nikki74
1 hour ago, UnfoldingSky said:

 

I know it seems impossible, but you can make it through.  I am glad your friend is at least trying to help.  Going out can prove difficult, I had great trouble doing that too usually unless it was to a natural area. Man made environments particularly with lots of noise, artificial lighting, people were very hard to deal with. In a natural area though I  often was okay.  Getting there though could be a huge undertaking.  Other people who have not lived it don't usually understand how overwhelming it can be.  

 

 

Yes, I agree. She wants to take me this morning and I want to be able to go but it will be full on. Not sure what to do. I need that spiritual support and she's convinced it will help me but it will be noisy and busy... well you know. Thank you. 

 

Ps do you think it will be like this for the next few years or if I stabilise will I be able to cope with a bit more? I'm finding it hard to see what kind of life I will have over the coming years. If I'm in drugs that have caused kindling as well. I don't fully understand what all this means for me for the next few years of my life. When will I know I've stabilised? Will I be less symptomatic? Will I cope with things better? Will I feel anywhere near normal? 

Edited by Nikki74
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Nikki74
1 hour ago, UnfoldingSky said:


Nikki, have you got a dosette? If not if you can you might want to get one.  I was useless for remembering things and it helped enormously with keeping track of my pills.

I've got a little pill box but do you mean one with times on? It's just one slot per day. I'll get one with more slots maybe so I can put the times. 

 

I actually slept broken sleep 12-7am without the intense akasthesia and dread from the early hours last night. First time in months. 

 

I had zero sugary foods yesterday apart apart from an apple and the sugar that's in my gluten free bread etc. 

 

I'm still confused about the diazepam. Whether it should be 5.5 or 6.5 based on my previous intake before updosing plus because of taking 3mg at bed with the lexapro. I'm still shaky and have the ants crawling feeling but it was a less hellish night than I've had since I came off the Zopiclone.

 

any advice appreciated.

 

unfolding sky, do you think I will have to live with the akasthesia all throughout the next few years of tapering? 

Edited by Nikki74
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Nikki74

Hi, I'm just checking into my own thread!

 

I'm still uncertain about what to do about the diazepam, I've messaged Shep directly but it's also posted a bit further up in my thread. 

 

I actually slept last night, broken sleep, but did not have the horrific adrenaline surge in the early hours and tossing and turning. I took my 5mg lexapro and 3mg diazepam (by accident.I meant to take 1.5mg rather than 1.5 pills!!). I'm now wondering what the cause of that better night was. Was it that I cut out sugar yesterday? Was it that the Zopiclone withdrawal is improving, or was it the combination of drugs I took? Tonight I'm not sure whether to take the 1.5mg or 3mg like I did last night.

 

I'm nowhere near stable. My days are spent confused, unsettled and unable to enjoy basic stuff like tv or conversations. 

 

Today I have smoked much less, I think it's because I at least had a calmer night, calm used loosely, but it wasn't the hell I've had for the last few weeks.

 

My appetiite is increasing but I'm stuck for what to eat as I don't want to reach for sugary things and my energy with the CFS combined with my CNS in total disarray means I can't get my head round nutrition. 

 

Today's symptom diary:

 

Slept til 2am then dozed in and out until 7am, no restlessness, akasthesia type sensations, adrenaline surges, burning head or extreme fear and panic.

 

7am got up feeling anxious and confused, no change there, fed dog, had a cup of redbush tea, two cigarettes then went back to bed 

 

8.15 took 15mg mirtazipine, got burning back and head and surge in uncomfortable unease, then zonked for an hour, then woke with a start and a gasp at 10am.  It doesn't seem to be giving me the 2-3 hours sleep it was. I really didn't want to take it. I'm wondering how much this medication is actually causing issues whereas I thought it was helping with the akasthesia.

 

10-10.30 bumbled by way through eating cereal, getting dressed, brushing teeth and having two more cigarettes. Shaky and confused and anxious.

 

10.30 friend picked me up to go to church. I wasn't sure about going because of the over stimulating environment. I did find it too much. I cried a lot. Couldn't concentrate on anything being said, but I did appreciate getting a blessing from the minister.

 

11.30-1pm cold and numb feeling feet and lower legs. I got this on Friday as well. It's something I've experienced with ME/CFS but also had it really badly when I c/t off the Zopiclone. Horrible feeling like I won't be able to walk.

We left early as it was all too much for me stimulation wise and I just felt totally disconnected and like a space cadet, headed home.

 

12.30 2mg diazepam, ate chicken roll, then relaxed til about 4pm with no restlessness, high fatigue, but unable to sleep. When I try to sleep in the day I can't drop off and end up in some kind of depersonalised/derealised state that's truly frightening, like I don't know who, what, where or when I am and everyone and everything I hold dear is lost. I also get intrusive memories, not frightening, like a memory of being in my grandmother's kitchen when I was 3 or 4, and it causes intense fear, anxiety and dread! What is this?

All these things have been going on since Jul.

 

4-5.30 akasthesia feelings of ants under skin, restless and unsettled, scared, smoked three cigarettes, spoke to my mum and just sobbed explaining what's going on as she doesn't really understand. I feel so disconnected and distant from everyone and everything I love and hold dear and used to enjoy,

 

I've not been able to make art or do craft since the end of August. It was hard then but I was at least doing it as distraction. Now I can't do it. I feel I don't have the motor skills or the concentration or something. It feels completely lost! I'm an artist and maker. That's what I do!

 

5.30 took 2mg diazepam and akasthesia feelings have died down, the ants under skin feeling. I hate that it takes medication to calm it down and that ultimately it will get worse in time and when I do come to taper. That scares me intensely. What's causing/ caused it? Which drug, drug change? I wish I knew. 

 

I don't want to take any of these things any longer but realise I'm stuck on them to try to stabilise.  WILL I stabilise on these things after all the changes made in recent months? When will I know I'm stabilising? Will I reach a state on these pills where I'm feeling a bit better even? Will I get any kind of life back on this regime?  Then I know I have to taper off each of them over many years. I wish I hadn't reinstated the Lexapro but also it probably was for the best?

 

I'll add more to this later. Have to cook dinner now. ZERO interest in that. I want the food to eat but my imagination is gone and cooking and eating is no longer a pleasure. 

 

Positive things: I've had some peace today (prob thanks to diazepam), I got out (even though it was overwhelming), I spoke to my Mum. 

 

I find when I'm talking to someone, unless it's about my fears about what I'm going through, I have zero ability to focus and follow what they're saying a respond. I'm so much in my own head. Been like that since all this kicked off really in June/July. It's miserable and isolating. 

 

Chime in anyone, on anything I've shared!  Thanks so much, Nikki 

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Nikki74

So I just worked out that safe and slow tapering off all my meds (15mg Mirtazipine, 5mg escitalopram and 5.5mg diazepam) will take over 6 years and that's if they go well and without breaks in between each taper!

 

but by the time I go to taper the benzo I'll have been on it so long (so far only been on it 3 months) and probably at a higher dose as surely I'll hit tolerance.

 

im not doubting the advice and experience here, I'm just thinking what kind of life will I have? 

 

And I've yet to stabilise on current meds after so much turmoil already. 

 

Am I going to get a life of sorts once I've stabilised? The CFS has had be largely housebound this past year as it is. 

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Shep
On 9/30/2017 at 3:17 PM, Nikki74 said:

Ok I doubt anyone will get back to me today as I've already had a heap of input BUT...

 

regarding the drop of my diazepam to 5.5 - which I reeaaallly want to do to see if it helps- I've looked back over the weeks preceding my dose increase.

 

21st August week I used 8mg but this was less than previous weeks and I did notice it

28th August week I used 14mg ( so average 4mg a day)

4th Sept week I used 14mg as above

11th Sept week I used 52.5 

18th Sept week I used 54

25th Sept week I'll have used 41.5

 

The 5.5 calculation was made by Shep after I said I'd been taking 2-4mg a day before my rapid increase in the past 3 weeks. But in fact I was using 4mg a day (some days 2mg, some days 6mg). Does this mean I should be taking 6.5mg - the 4mg average plus 2.5 to cover the Zopiclone withdrawal?  You said about a 2-4 week window with benzos and so 4 weeks ago I took 14mg.  Oh those were the days! Wish I could get back to that!

 

However, that means it's only .5 less than I've been on this week and not much of a drop to see if it suits me better.

 

Just worried, if Shep could advise again on this that'd be great. THANk YOU!! 

 

Hi, Nikki.

 

You are dealing with a massively destabilized nervous system from many drugs and many drug changes. So what I recommended is something to start off with. If reducing down to 5.5 mg diazepam isn't enough or it's too much, you can always tweak this to accommodate your symptoms. However, you don't want to do this a lot, as tweaking your drugs is one reason you're having so many symptoms. 

 

Even going back into August is still recent enough that you could try this reduction and see how you do. 

 

These two thread explains why you don't want to make too many changes and what you can do for best results with your taper:

 

The rule of 3KIS: Keep it simple. Keep it slow. Keep it stable.

 

Before you begin tapering - what you need to know

 

25 minutes ago, Nikki74 said:

So I just worked out that safe and slow tapering off all my meds (15mg Mirtazipine, 5mg escitalopram and 5.5mg diazepam) will take over 6 years and that's if they go well and without breaks in between each taper!

 

but by the time I go to taper the benzo I'll have been on it so long (so far only been on it 3 months) and probably at a higher dose as surely I'll hit tolerance.

 

I'm confused. You say you've only been on the benzo for 3 months, but in your signature, you have "clonazepam as needed 2009-2011". Please note that clonazepam is also a benzo. As I noted earlier, many people experience kindling on benzos. This means that each time you go on and off a benzo, the next time it's much harder. It only takes 2 - 4 weeks to develop a dependency to a benzo, so it's likely you're already dependent. 

 

Also, there's a connection between the way alcohol affects GABA and the way benzos affect GABA. Some doctors refer to benzos as "alcohol in a pill". So you really want to take this slow and nurture your GABA receptors. 

 

But we already have a game plan set up for you to start reducing the diazepam and getting it back down to where you were before your updose. So you're already going to be making progress on reducing this drug. 

 

38 minutes ago, Nikki74 said:

im not doubting the advice and experience here, I'm just thinking what kind of life will I have? 

 

This is a legitimate question. It's one all of us have when we come into the forum. Most of us are panicking, scared, unsure if we'll be able to work, go to school, take care of family, and / or if we'll end up completely broken and destitute. 

 

But if you read around the forum, you'll see a lot of people learning how to survive. In fact, by the time you taper off these drugs and heal, you'll likely be a lot stronger than you can imagine.

 

Try not to think too far ahead. Again, you are asking a legitimate question, but because there is no answer available, try to find ways of not catastrophizing and thinking the worst is going to happen. Two things to consider - it's hard to give tapering advice to people when they are panicking and panicking ramps up symptoms. So for those two reasons, please check out these links:

 

"Change the channel" -- dealing with cognitive symptoms 

 

Neuro-emotions

 

Dealing With Emotional Spirals

 

Claire Weekes' Method of Recovering from a Sensitized Nervous System

 

Here's a great video by the author of the Beyond Meds website (which is highly recommended). Monica was massively polydrugged for 20 years and is now off everything and healing. She documents her progress:

 

My 6-year Anniversary off Psych Drugs: How I Made it Through the Darkest Times

 

Your goal:

 

1. Reduce the diazepam down to 5.5 mg, as we discussed. 

 

2. Bring in at least two non-drug coping skills that you feel you can handle:

 

Non-drug techniques to cope with emotional symptoms

 

3. If the non-drug techniques are still too much to handle right now, use the change the channel technique and distract. Go for a walk, pet your dog, watch a gentle comedy on TV or the internet, play a video game, work a jigsaw puzzle, read the Success Stories. The goal is to let your nervous system know that all is well and to bring yourself into a calm state of mind so you come out of panic-mode and into a place where you can work with us to set up a taper strategy. 

 

Please keep updating and let us know how you're doing over the next few days with the diazepam decrease. 

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Altostrata

Nikki, what time did you take 1.5 diazepam tablets yesterday?

 

Is this your usual dosing schedule:

 

8.15am 15mg mirtazapine

 

12.30 2mg diazepam

 

17.30 2mg diazepam

 

11-12pm 5mg escitalopram, 1.5mg diazepam

 

We need to know your dosing schedule to understand your symptom pattern. It's important for you to keep your dosing schedule consistent.

 

You will need to get the diazepam sorted out, please keep everything else steady.

 

(It sounds like you are sleeping in the morning, after you take mirtazapine. This turns your natural sleep cycle around, causing other problems.

 

I am uncomfortable with your taking mirtazapine in the morning and escilatopram at night. Since you find escilatopram to be calming, perhaps you can gradually move it to around noon and gradually move the mirtazapine earlier. BUT...sort out diazepam first.)

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Nikki74
3 minutes ago, Altostrata said:

Nikki, what time did you take 1.5 diazepam tablets yesterday?

I took it at midnight with my 5mg lexapro, so 3mg (1 and a half tablets) accuse instead of 1.5mg (3/4 tablet) 

Is this your usual dosing schedule:

 

8.15am 15mg mirtazapine

 

12.30 2mg diazepam

 

17.30 2mg diazepam

 

11-12pm 5mg escitalopram, 1.5mg diazepam

Yes, I've only just started to stick to the timings with the diazepam though, two days in. 

3 minutes ago, Altostrata said:

We need to know your dosing schedule to understand your symptom pattern. It's important for you to keep your dosing schedule consistent.

 

You will need to get the diazepam sorted out, please keep everything else steady.

 

(It sounds like you are sleeping in the morning, after you take mirtazapine. This turns your natural sleep cycle around, causing other problems.

 

I am uncomfortable with your taking mirtazapine in the morning and escilatopram at night. Since you find escilatopram to be calming, perhaps you can gradually move it to around noon and gradually move the mirtazapine earlier. BUT...sort out diazepam first.)

I have been worried about the mirt in the morning too but too scared to change it. Maybe you can guide me on this once I've sorted the diazepam? 

 

Thsnks so much. 

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Altostrata

Yes, we will address that.

 

What time did you take 1.5 diazepam tablets yesterday?

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Nikki74
16 minutes ago, Shep said:

 

Hi, Nikki.

 

You are dealing with a massively destabilized nervous system from many drugs and many drug changes. So what I recommended is something to start off with. If reducing down to 5.5 mg diazepam isn't enough or it's too much, you can always tweak this to accommodate your symptoms. However, you don't want to do this a lot, as tweaking your drugs is one reason you're having so many symptoms. 

Ok. I'm going to stick to 5.5mg today. Though I think I should have done as follows:

 

12.30 2mg

 

5.30 1.5mg

 

bedtime (midnight) 2mg

16 minutes ago, Shep said:

Even going back into August is still recent enough that you could try this reduction and see how you do. 

 

These two thread explains why you don't want to make too many changes and what you can do for best results with your taper:

 

The rule of 3KIS: Keep it simple. Keep it slow. Keep it stable.

 

Before you begin tapering - what you need to know

 

Thanks, I've read the 3KIS but not the other one, will do. 

 

16 minutes ago, Shep said:

I'm confused. You say you've only been on the benzo for 3 months, but in your signature, you have "clonazepam as needed 2009-2011". Please note that clonazepam is also a benzo. As I noted earlier, many people experience kindling on benzos. This means that each time you go on and off a benzo, the next time it's much harder. It only takes 2 - 4 weeks to develop a dependency to a benzo, so it's likely you're already dependent. 

Yes that's right, the clonazepam. Sorry I meant I've only been using diazepam daily for three months (though was using a couple a month since Jan this year).

16 minutes ago, Shep said:

Also, there's a connection between the way alcohol affects GABA and the way benzos affect GABA. Some doctors refer to benzos as "alcohol in a pill". So you really want to take this slow and nurture your GABA receptors. 

Ive read that. I was naive when told to use these by the mental health team and wish I'd known what they were. I hate the way they remind me of alcohol having been sober since 2013. Depresses me! But I'm here now and can't change it!

16 minutes ago, Shep said:

But we already have a game plan set up for you to start reducing the diazepam and getting it back down to where you were before your updose. So you're already going to be making progress on reducing this drug. 

 

 

This is a legitimate question. It's one all of us have when we come into the forum. Most of us are panicking, scared, unsure if we'll be able to work, go to school, take care of family, and / or if we'll end up completely broken and destitute. 

 

But if you read around the forum, you'll see a lot of people learning how to survive. In fact, by the time you taper off these drugs and heal, you'll likely be a lot stronger than you can imagine.

 

Try not to think too far ahead. Again, you are asking a legitimate question, but because there is no answer available, try to find ways of not catastrophizing and thinking the worst is going to happen. Two things to consider - it's hard to give tapering advice to people when they are panicking and panicking ramps up symptoms. So for those two reasons, please check out these links:

 

"Change the channel" -- dealing with cognitive symptoms 

 

Neuro-emotions

 

Dealing With Emotional Spirals

 

Claire Weekes' Method of Recovering from a Sensitized Nervous System

 

Here's a great video by the author of the Beyond Meds website (which is highly recommended). Monica was massively polydrugged for 20 years and is now off everything and healing. She documents her progress:

 

My 6-year Anniversary off Psych Drugs: How I Made it Through the Darkest Times

I was just reading this this evening! What a story. 

16 minutes ago, Shep said:

Your goal:

 

1. Reduce the diazepam down to 5.5 mg, as we discussed. 

 

2. Bring in at least two non-drug coping skills that you feel you can handle:

 

Non-drug techniques to cope with emotional symptoms

 

3. If the non-drug techniques are still too much to handle right now, use the change the channel technique and distract. Go for a walk, pet your dog, watch a gentle comedy on TV or the internet, play a video game, work a jigsaw puzzle, read the Success Stories. The goal is to let your nervous system know that all is well and to bring yourself into a calm state of mind so you come out of panic-mode and into a place where you can work with us to set up a taper strategy. 

 

Please keep updating and let us know how you're doing over the next few days with the diazepam decrease. 

I'll try to be less panicky. I think as I'm in my own I reach out in a panic. I've read some of those links and will look at them all. 

 

Its weird because i find it painful to do anything that takes me away from obsessing about this stuff and that's fear isn't it. Neuro emotion stuff! Also I've got depersonalisation and this akasthesia and I'm really disconnected from the real world. I hope this settles.  I take on board what you're telling me though. 

17 minutes ago, Shep said:

 

Hi, Nikki.

 

You are dealing with a massively destabilized nervous system from many drugs and many drug changes. So what I recommended is something to start off with. If reducing down to 5.5 mg diazepam isn't enough or it's too much, you can always tweak this to accommodate your symptoms. However, you don't want to do this a lot, as tweaking your drugs is one reason you're having so many symptoms. 

 

Even going back into August is still recent enough that you could try this reduction and see how you do. 

 

These two thread explains why you don't want to make too many changes and what you can do for best results with your taper:

 

The rule of 3KIS: Keep it simple. Keep it slow. Keep it stable.

 

Before you begin tapering - what you need to know

 

 

I'm confused. You say you've only been on the benzo for 3 months, but in your signature, you have "clonazepam as needed 2009-2011". Please note that clonazepam is also a benzo. As I noted earlier, many people experience kindling on benzos. This means that each time you go on and off a benzo, the next time it's much harder. It only takes 2 - 4 weeks to develop a dependency to a benzo, so it's likely you're already dependent. 

 

Also, there's a connection between the way alcohol affects GABA and the way benzos affect GABA. Some doctors refer to benzos as "alcohol in a pill". So you really want to take this slow and nurture your GABA receptors. 

 

But we already have a game plan set up for you to start reducing the diazepam and getting it back down to where you were before your updose. So you're already going to be making progress on reducing this drug. 

 

 

This is a legitimate question. It's one all of us have when we come into the forum. Most of us are panicking, scared, unsure if we'll be able to work, go to school, take care of family, and / or if we'll end up completely broken and destitute. 

 

But if you read around the forum, you'll see a lot of people learning how to survive. In fact, by the time you taper off these drugs and heal, you'll likely be a lot stronger than you can imagine.

 

Try not to think too far ahead. Again, you are asking a legitimate question, but because there is no answer available, try to find ways of not catastrophizing and thinking the worst is going to happen. Two things to consider - it's hard to give tapering advice to people when they are panicking and panicking ramps up symptoms. So for those two reasons, please check out these links:

 

"Change the channel" -- dealing with cognitive symptoms 

 

Neuro-emotions

 

Dealing With Emotional Spirals

 

Claire Weekes' Method of Recovering from a Sensitized Nervous System

 

Here's a great video by the author of the Beyond Meds website (which is highly recommended). Monica was massively polydrugged for 20 years and is now off everything and healing. She documents her progress:

 

My 6-year Anniversary off Psych Drugs: How I Made it Through the Darkest Times

 

Your goal:

 

1. Reduce the diazepam down to 5.5 mg, as we discussed. 

 

2. Bring in at least two non-drug coping skills that you feel you can handle:

 

Non-drug techniques to cope with emotional symptoms

 

3. If the non-drug techniques are still too much to handle right now, use the change the channel technique and distract. Go for a walk, pet your dog, watch a gentle comedy on TV or the internet, play a video game, work a jigsaw puzzle, read the Success Stories. The goal is to let your nervous system know that all is well and to bring yourself into a calm state of mind so you come out of panic-mode and into a place where you can work with us to set up a taper strategy. 

 

Please keep updating and let us know how you're doing over the next few days with the diazepam decrease. 

 

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Shep
4 hours ago, Nikki74 said:

Was it that I cut out sugar yesterday?

 

4 hours ago, Nikki74 said:

Today I have smoked much less, I think it's because I at least had a calmer night, calm used loosely, but it wasn't the hell I've had for the last few weeks.

 

NIkki, please keep working with Alto regarding your drugs, but I do want to mention these two things because I think they are important. 

 

Sugar and nicotine both have a stimulating effect and it looks like you are someone who may be very sensitive to this. So as much as possible, please keep the cigarettes and the sugar to the bare minimum. I wouldn't advise quitting smoking right now, but please be mindful of how much you are smoking throughout the day.  It's possible this may have played a role in your calmer night, in addition to the accidental updose in Valium. 

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Nikki74
10 minutes ago, Altostrata said:

Yes, we will address that.

 

What time did you take 1.5 diazepam tablets yesterday?

Sorry my reply is somehow embedded in your post, but I took it at bedtime, midnight, with 5mg lexapro. 

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Nikki74
2 minutes ago, Shep said:

 

 

NIkki, please keep working with Alto regarding your drugs, but I do want to mention these two things because I think they are important. 

 

Sugar and nicotine both have a stimulating effect and it looks like you are someone who may be very sensitive to this. So as much as possible, please keep the cigarettes and the sugar to the bare minimum. I wouldn't advise quitting smoking right now, but please be mindful of how much you are smoking throughout the day.  It's possible this may have played a role in your calmer night, in addition to the accidental updose in Valium. 

Ok. Zero sugar today. 11 cigarettes instead of about 17. It definitely doesn't help and would dearly love to quit but not possible and as you say not advisable. 

 

Thank you. 

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UnfoldingSky
16 hours ago, Nikki74 said:

 

 

Ps do you think it will be like this for the next few years or if I stabilise will I be able to cope with a bit more? I'm finding it hard to see what kind of life I will have over the coming years. If I'm in drugs that have caused kindling as well. I don't fully understand what all this means for me for the next few years of my life. When will I know I've stabilised? Will I be less symptomatic? Will I cope with things better? Will I feel anywhere near normal? 

 

 

About stabilizing I answered in a pm but, I'll put it here too, people can stabilize when you wouldn't think they would as that happened to someone I know.   I don't know if anyone can say how long it will take to stabilize either but you should have less symptoms if that happens.  As to how close to normal you would be, I couldn't answer that either, however others here with more experience of doing that probably can. 

 

 

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UnfoldingSky
17 hours ago, Nikki74 said:

I've got a little pill box but do you mean one with times on? It's just one slot per day. I'll get one with more slots maybe so I can put the times. 

 

I actually slept broken sleep 12-7am without the intense akasthesia and dread from the early hours last night. First time in months. 

 

I had zero sugary foods yesterday apart apart from an apple and the sugar that's in my gluten free bread etc. 

 

I'm still confused about the diazepam. Whether it should be 5.5 or 6.5 based on my previous intake before updosing plus because of taking 3mg at bed with the lexapro. I'm still shaky and have the ants crawling feeling but it was a less hellish night than I've had since I came off the Zopiclone.

 

any advice appreciated.

 

unfolding sky, do you think I will have to live with the akasthesia all throughout the next few years of tapering? 

 

Yeah the multi slot one is probably a good bet.

 

So so glad to hear you had some relief too! Good job re the sugar too...fruit should be okay don't eliminate it.  Also I made sure to eat protein at every meal so if you eat say just fruit for breakfast or something, add in even a few nuts (if you are not allergic obviously. )  Helps keep your blood sugar more stable I believe. I now eat a lot of almonds, they have magnesium in them which is helpful for anxiety.  Plus it's easy.  

 

About the akathisia it's so hard to say what will happen.  I've spoken to people who had it varying lengths of time even someone who had it for only one day.  I wish I had a better answer. But please try hard not to get ahead of yourself, I was sure that my benzo taper would be an unmitigated disaster and it went way better than I ever could have thought.  In the state of mind we get into from withdrawal it's just not that wise to trust the fear.  You don't want to do anything rash thinking this or that wil happen for sure.

 

 

 

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Nikki74
8 hours ago, Nikki74 said:

Sorry my reply is somehow embedded in your post, but I took it at bedtime, midnight, with 5mg lexapro. 

Did some breathing and trauma release before taking my meds last night.

 

Took 5mg lexapro plus 1.5mg diazepam at midnight.

 

slept til 2am

 

dozed until 4.30

 

then worsening akasthesia (ants, tossing and turning), anxiety and tension plus burning/ zaps up back and head

 

tried breathing and change the channel

 

got up 6.30, cigarette :/ sat shaking and wondering how will get through this

 

now going to get son up and off to school

 

I'd have reaching for diazepam around 4.30am normally because of symptoms

 

find myself looking forward to Mirtazipine at 8.15 for brief relief

 

The day thus far!

 

will try colouring this morning

 

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Nikki74

8.15 took 15mg Mirtazipine 

slept heavily until 11am, woke depressed and fatigued. Daunted.

 

11.15 got up and ate muesli. Cigarette (3 so far today, much less than normal). I've noticed since yesterday that I'm really aware of the horrid taste of smoking. Makes me feel I want to rinse my mouth. Really pronounced taste.

 

Mild ants under skin feeling mainly in arms and tummy churning.

 

feeling exhausted but a bit restless. 

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Shep

Hi, Nikki.

 

It's great to see you're doing breathing techniques, coloring, and using the "change the channel" technique. I hope these are helping. Or at least providing you with a safe distraction that's letting your nervous system know that everything is okay. Over time, you'll become to automatically breathe deep and relax when these symptoms hit. 

 

Are you able to take Epsom salt baths? Epsom salts contain magnesium and some people are sensitive to it, but it may help with some of the agitation, burning, and zaps as it can calm the nervous system.

 

Epsom salts baths -- another way to relax with magnesium

 

Sorry, Nikki, I'm reading through your narrative but I'm a bit confused. Can you list the times of the day you're taking the diazepam, lexapro, and mirtazapine and include the doses? 

 

 

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Nikki74
1 hour ago, Shep said:

Hi, Nikki.

 

It's great to see you're doing breathing techniques, coloring, and using the "change the channel" technique. I hope these are helping. Or at least providing you with a safe distraction that's letting your nervous system know that everything is okay. Over time, you'll become to automatically breathe deep and relax when these symptoms hit. 

 

Are you able to take Epsom salt baths? Epsom salts contain magnesium and some people are sensitive to it, but it may help with some of the agitation, burning, and zaps as it can calm the nervous system.

 

Epsom salts baths -- another way to relax with magnesium

 

Sorry, Nikki, I'm reading through your narrative but I'm a bit confused. Can you list the times of the day you're taking the diazepam, lexapro, and mirtazapine and include the doses? 

 

 

Yes.

 

8.15am Mirtazipine 15mg (seems to stop the early morning agitation and gives me some sleep)

 

12.30 2mg Diazepam 

 

17.30 2mg Diazepam 

 

Midnight 5mg lexapro and 1.5mg diazepam

 

(last night was my first night taking the 1.5mg at the time and I'm only 3 days into the set times for diazepam and lexapro as previously was taking lexapro in early hours if I managed to fall to sleep naturally for a bit without taking anything, plus maybe 2mg diazepam).

 

hope this is clear?!

 

only managed 5 mins of colouring. Head can't focus on things :/ 

 

im still trying to get my head around years of tapering and if I'm going to stabilise on current regime enough to be a bit more with it and find any joy or connection with anything.

 

re: Epsom salts, no, I have some Dead Sea salt but not the same? Not used it.

 

i took magnesium citrate supplements last year and got terrible diarrhoea so stopped. Not sure if this is relevant!

 

I find it hard to bath or shower due to the restlessness/akasthesia as want to be onto the next thing, being in the moment is v v hard. 

 

 

 

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I am trying to calm my thinking! I understand what you said yesterday about it not helping being in panic mode. 

 

i think I need sticky notes with reminders to self soothe etc

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I am shaking, getting head surges and feel terribly depressed and like I'm in more withdrawal. Numb feeling down left arm and leg. 

 

 

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