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☼ RealMe: fighting depression/withdrawal from Abilify, Trintellix now on Prozac


RealMe

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Wonderful RM!!!🌷

HAPPY Memorial Day 

xx lg

Lex  4.3mg,  3/2/18  Ativan ,5 mg,  lunesta 2 mg , toprol  25 mg                                                            

 

Oct 16-28 2018 C/O to 19 mg V from 1.5 mg Ativan, 1.3 mg lunesta 

jan 22 2019- 11 mg V

jan 23 - pneumonia, 2 AB’s. 

    Hold taper

july 5- 10.72 V

July 6- 11 mg V- ugly bad

july 11- 10.72 mg V, 4.3 lex, 

              25 mg toprol

 

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1 minute ago, Littlegrandma said:

Wonderful RM!!!🌷

HAPPY Memorial Day 

xx lg

You too, LG! 

xo RM

Alcohol periodic excessive 1963-1976, Valium sporadic 1964-1973,  Imipramine off & on 1982-1985, Fluoxetine 10mg-80 mg. Oct., 1995-Jan., 2014; Cymbalta, other ADs 1/2014-3/2014; Abilify 5 mg. 3/2014 - 8/8/17; Trintellix 20 mg. 3/2014 - 9/2017; Propranolol 60-80 mg. sporadically Sept-Oct, 2017; Seroquel few days Sept 2017 (c/t); Wellbutrin 150 mg. Sept, 2017 updosed to 300 mg. few days till c/t Oct 8, 2017, fish oil, vitD, vitE Oct 16, 2017-pres. Lipoflavonoid 4/2017-pres.  Fluoxetine 10 mg. Sept-Oct 8, 2017, 20 mg. 10/9- 10/15; 10 mg. 10/16 - 12/29;  9 mg. 12/30 - 2/9; 2 mL liquid (8.1mg) 2/10 - 3/7; 1.8 mL (7.29 mg) 3/8 -3/20; 1.6 mL (6.561mg) 3/20-4/2; 1.4 mL (5.9 mg) 4/3-4/14; 1mL (4 mg.) 4/15-4/22; .9mL (3.6mg) 4/23-5/1; .81mL (3.24 mg) 5/2-5/24; .73mL (2.916mg.) 5/25-6/8; .65mL 6/9-6/23; .6mL 6/24-7/17; .58mL 7/18-7/28; .525mL 7/29-8/13; .5 mL 8/14-21; .45mL 8/22-31; .4mL 9/2-21; .35mL 9/22-10/4; .3mL 10/5-28; .25mL 10/28-11/10; .2mL 11/11-11/24; .18mL 11/25-12/3; .1mL 12/4-12/18. Zero-12/19/18-present.

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.6561mL is my next dosage.  Will try this cut in a week or so.  Feeling stable. Learning to curb emotional reaction to tinnitus which is part of the road to habituation (please, God).  I used to have pain with noise (hypercusis), but that has improved dramatically.

 

I worked for three days in a row.  Set my alarm for 6:15 and got up right away.  Today I was off and got up at 9:00.  Morning lethargy getting better.  Still waking up a few times at night, but that may be due to my husband's snoring.

 

Having frequent neuro-emotions, very difficult but learning to cope with those.  I have been meditating every day and have been taking walks, except the days I worked.

 

I tried to take magnesium again and had the same reaction:  my tongue gets thick and sore.  I wonder if anyone else has this reaction or if there is a certain type or brand I should try.  I also started taking lipoflavinoids which was recommended by the ENT physician.  I don't know if it's helping, but there's no noticeable bad side effect.  I've noticed that I can't remember the last time I took ibuprofen or tylenol for pain.  Yay.

Alcohol periodic excessive 1963-1976, Valium sporadic 1964-1973,  Imipramine off & on 1982-1985, Fluoxetine 10mg-80 mg. Oct., 1995-Jan., 2014; Cymbalta, other ADs 1/2014-3/2014; Abilify 5 mg. 3/2014 - 8/8/17; Trintellix 20 mg. 3/2014 - 9/2017; Propranolol 60-80 mg. sporadically Sept-Oct, 2017; Seroquel few days Sept 2017 (c/t); Wellbutrin 150 mg. Sept, 2017 updosed to 300 mg. few days till c/t Oct 8, 2017, fish oil, vitD, vitE Oct 16, 2017-pres. Lipoflavonoid 4/2017-pres.  Fluoxetine 10 mg. Sept-Oct 8, 2017, 20 mg. 10/9- 10/15; 10 mg. 10/16 - 12/29;  9 mg. 12/30 - 2/9; 2 mL liquid (8.1mg) 2/10 - 3/7; 1.8 mL (7.29 mg) 3/8 -3/20; 1.6 mL (6.561mg) 3/20-4/2; 1.4 mL (5.9 mg) 4/3-4/14; 1mL (4 mg.) 4/15-4/22; .9mL (3.6mg) 4/23-5/1; .81mL (3.24 mg) 5/2-5/24; .73mL (2.916mg.) 5/25-6/8; .65mL 6/9-6/23; .6mL 6/24-7/17; .58mL 7/18-7/28; .525mL 7/29-8/13; .5 mL 8/14-21; .45mL 8/22-31; .4mL 9/2-21; .35mL 9/22-10/4; .3mL 10/5-28; .25mL 10/28-11/10; .2mL 11/11-11/24; .18mL 11/25-12/3; .1mL 12/4-12/18. Zero-12/19/18-present.

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Worked 3 days last week and 2 this week.  Went back to sleep this morning but I was dressed, so that is an improvement.  Took a mile walk. Went grocery shopping.  Will probably make another cut tomorrow because I'm feeling stable.

Dystonia still there but much improved.

Tremors in hands but not inside like it was.

Somewhat irritable but not overly anxious.

Tinnitus present, up and down.  Have had a little relief with that.

Waking up few times at night.

Appetite ok.

Concentration better.

Hope all my fellow AD survivors are healing and feeling better!

 

 

 

Alcohol periodic excessive 1963-1976, Valium sporadic 1964-1973,  Imipramine off & on 1982-1985, Fluoxetine 10mg-80 mg. Oct., 1995-Jan., 2014; Cymbalta, other ADs 1/2014-3/2014; Abilify 5 mg. 3/2014 - 8/8/17; Trintellix 20 mg. 3/2014 - 9/2017; Propranolol 60-80 mg. sporadically Sept-Oct, 2017; Seroquel few days Sept 2017 (c/t); Wellbutrin 150 mg. Sept, 2017 updosed to 300 mg. few days till c/t Oct 8, 2017, fish oil, vitD, vitE Oct 16, 2017-pres. Lipoflavonoid 4/2017-pres.  Fluoxetine 10 mg. Sept-Oct 8, 2017, 20 mg. 10/9- 10/15; 10 mg. 10/16 - 12/29;  9 mg. 12/30 - 2/9; 2 mL liquid (8.1mg) 2/10 - 3/7; 1.8 mL (7.29 mg) 3/8 -3/20; 1.6 mL (6.561mg) 3/20-4/2; 1.4 mL (5.9 mg) 4/3-4/14; 1mL (4 mg.) 4/15-4/22; .9mL (3.6mg) 4/23-5/1; .81mL (3.24 mg) 5/2-5/24; .73mL (2.916mg.) 5/25-6/8; .65mL 6/9-6/23; .6mL 6/24-7/17; .58mL 7/18-7/28; .525mL 7/29-8/13; .5 mL 8/14-21; .45mL 8/22-31; .4mL 9/2-21; .35mL 9/22-10/4; .3mL 10/5-28; .25mL 10/28-11/10; .2mL 11/11-11/24; .18mL 11/25-12/3; .1mL 12/4-12/18. Zero-12/19/18-present.

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You are doing great, RM!  :) 

-1/06 - 3/07 Cymbalta. Fast taper (essentially CT); withdrawal symptoms after 4 mos (didn't realize was WD)

-10/07: 100 mg Zoloft; 1 mg Klonopin - tapered off Klonopin after 4 mos. Several unsuccessful slow tapers of Zoloft; went up and down in dose a lot

-Spring 2013 back on 1 mg Klonopin to counter WD symptoms; switched over 5-6 mos from Zoloft to 35 mg citalopram
-Two attempts at slow tapering citalopram, always increased dose due to WD; also increased Klonopin to 1.25 mg in 2014, then to 1.5 mg in 2015

-8/17-9/17: After holding one year at 20 mg, feeling withdrawal symptoms due to stress - slowly increased to 25 mg. No change in symptoms after 6 months (? tolerance ?)  - decided to start citalopram taper February 2018 (still on Klonopin 1.5 mg).

Supplements: fish oil; magnesium; vitamin D3; curcumin

Citalopram taper:  2/2018 - 12/2019: 25 mg - 11.03 mg I 2020: 10.89 mg - 7.9 mg I 2021: 7.8 mg - 5.26 mg I 2022: 5.2 mg - 3.36 mg I 2023: 3.3 mg - 1.47 mg 2024: 1/5/24: 1.44 mg; 1/19/24: 1.40 mg; 1/26/24: 1.37 mg; 2/2/24: 1.34 mg; 2/9/24: 1.31 mg; 2/23/24: 1.28 mg; 3/1/24: 1.25 mg; 3/8/24: 1.22 mg; 3/15/24: 1.19 mg

 

 

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30 minutes ago, wantrelief said:

You are doing great, RM!  :) 

Thank you so much for checking on me, WR!  You are one of my main support people.

xo RM

Alcohol periodic excessive 1963-1976, Valium sporadic 1964-1973,  Imipramine off & on 1982-1985, Fluoxetine 10mg-80 mg. Oct., 1995-Jan., 2014; Cymbalta, other ADs 1/2014-3/2014; Abilify 5 mg. 3/2014 - 8/8/17; Trintellix 20 mg. 3/2014 - 9/2017; Propranolol 60-80 mg. sporadically Sept-Oct, 2017; Seroquel few days Sept 2017 (c/t); Wellbutrin 150 mg. Sept, 2017 updosed to 300 mg. few days till c/t Oct 8, 2017, fish oil, vitD, vitE Oct 16, 2017-pres. Lipoflavonoid 4/2017-pres.  Fluoxetine 10 mg. Sept-Oct 8, 2017, 20 mg. 10/9- 10/15; 10 mg. 10/16 - 12/29;  9 mg. 12/30 - 2/9; 2 mL liquid (8.1mg) 2/10 - 3/7; 1.8 mL (7.29 mg) 3/8 -3/20; 1.6 mL (6.561mg) 3/20-4/2; 1.4 mL (5.9 mg) 4/3-4/14; 1mL (4 mg.) 4/15-4/22; .9mL (3.6mg) 4/23-5/1; .81mL (3.24 mg) 5/2-5/24; .73mL (2.916mg.) 5/25-6/8; .65mL 6/9-6/23; .6mL 6/24-7/17; .58mL 7/18-7/28; .525mL 7/29-8/13; .5 mL 8/14-21; .45mL 8/22-31; .4mL 9/2-21; .35mL 9/22-10/4; .3mL 10/5-28; .25mL 10/28-11/10; .2mL 11/11-11/24; .18mL 11/25-12/3; .1mL 12/4-12/18. Zero-12/19/18-present.

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5 hours ago, RealMe said:

Worked 3 days last week and 2 this week.  Went back to sleep this morning but I was dressed, so that is an improvement.  Took a mile walk. Went grocery shopping.  Will probably make another cut tomorrow because I'm feeling stable.

Dystonia still there but much improved.

Tremors in hands but not inside like it was.

Somewhat irritable but not overly anxious.

Tinnitus present, up and down.  Have had a little relief with that.

Waking up few times at night.

Appetite ok.

Concentration better.

Hope all my fellow AD survivors are healing and feeling better!

 

 

 

 

You sound like you’re doing well RealMe, 

 

Glad you’re feeling stable. Hope all goes well with your next taper. 

 

You did great coping with your energetic sisters a while ago. When we feel barely human it’s not always easy trying to be upbeat and chirpy around people, is it? I’ve gotten pretty good at putting on a front, but there are times when it’s not possible. 

 

I notice a lot of people have tinnitus, not just on this site, but when I’ve asked people lately a lot of them seem to have it too. I’m glad the sound machine at night helps.

 

It’s great you can sleep so well though, I’m very happy for you.

 

Again, all the best with your next taper.

 

Sending hugs🤗🤗🤗

 

Been on APs, benzos, ADs and opiates, for chronic pain. Had Akathisia in the past that made me suicidal. Still on Seroquel. 2019:➡️ March10=7.25mg ✔️ April17=7.0✔️ June5=6.75✔️ July14=6.50✔️ Aug28=6.25✔️ Oct10=6.20  ✔️ Oct21=6.0✔️ Dec16=5.80 ✔️ 2020➡️ Jan 21=5.60 ✔️ April2=5.40 ✔️ May29=5.20 ✔️ Aug14= 5.0 ✔️Sep29=4.80✔️2021➡️ Jan31=4.60 mg✔️ April24=4.40mg✔️Jul17=4.30mg ✔️ Aug 28=4.20 ✔️ Oct 11=4.15✔️Nov1=4.10 ✔️ Nov21= 4.05✔️ Dec13= 4mg ✔️2022 ➡️ Jan8=3.95✔️ Jan31=3.90✔️ March2=3.85 ✔️ April4=3.80 ✔️ June16=3.75✔️ July26=3.70✔️ Sep2=3.65✔️ Oct21=3.60 ✔️ Dec8=3.55✔️2023➡️ Jan 26=3.50✔️ March 17=3.45✔️ June12=3.40✔️ July30=3.35✔️ Sep14=3.30✔️ Oct31=3.25✔️This is NOT medical advice.Consult your doctor.

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On 6/3/2018 at 4:36 AM, RealMe said:

.6561mL is my next dosage.  Will try this cut in a week or so.  Feeling stable. Learning to curb emotional reaction to tinnitus which is part of the road to habituation (please, God).  I used to have pain with noise (hypercusis), but that has improved dramatically.

 

I worked for three days in a row.  Set my alarm for 6:15 and got up right away.  Today I was off and got up at 9:00.  Morning lethargy getting better.  Still waking up a few times at night, but that may be due to my husband's snoring.

 

Having frequent neuro-emotions, very difficult but learning to cope with those.  I have been meditating every day and have been taking walks, except the days I worked.

 

I tried to take magnesium again and had the same reaction:  my tongue gets thick and sore.  I wonder if anyone else has this reaction or if there is a certain type or brand I should try.  I also started taking lipoflavinoids which was recommended by the ENT physician.  I don't know if it's helping, but there's no noticeable bad side effect.  I've noticed that I can't remember the last time I took ibuprofen or tylenol for pain.  Yay.

Hi RealMe, 

happy to see your progress!

I can assure you, that tinnitus gets better with time. It was definitely worse for me. Now, when I follow my healthy routine and my sleep is ok(ish), it's almost non-existent. 

.6561 ml is such a tiny amount. it's very potent, of course, but comparing to what you took before, it's insignificant. and I'm sure you'll succeed in cutting and be med free eventually. You're strong, no doubt about it.  

 

10 hours ago, RealMe said:

Worked 3 days last week and 2 this week.  Went back to sleep this morning but I was dressed, so that is an improvement.  Took a mile walk. Went grocery shopping.  Will probably make another cut tomorrow because I'm feeling stable.

Dystonia still there but much improved.

Tremors in hands but not inside like it was.

Somewhat irritable but not overly anxious.

Tinnitus present, up and down.  Have had a little relief with that.

Waking up few times at night.

Appetite ok.

Concentration better.

Hope all my fellow AD survivors are healing and feeling better

 Glad you enjoy working. It's very helpful in recovery. It helps switching focus to the outside world. 

I have tremors in hands, but mostly after several sleepless nights. 

In the beginning of WD I didn't have appetite sometimes and I took marmite. I think it helped. Good that your appetite is OK. 

I also eat yogurts, sauerkraut, veggies for gut health. I think it helps.

 

Wishing you all the best, RealMe!  

Feb 2009-Jul 2015 was on Prozac 20mg/day

                               with breaks for weeks and months off

                               in between.

Jul 2015-Feb 2016 off (cold turkey).

Feb 2016-Aug 2016 back on Prozac 20mg/day

Sep 2016-         completely off (cold turkey)

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On 6/8/2018 at 7:06 AM, Ogres said:

I can assure you, that tinnitus gets better with time. It was definitely worse for me. Now, when I follow my healthy routine and my sleep is ok(ish), it's almost non-existent. 

.6561 ml is such a tiny amount. it's very potent, of course, but comparing to what you took before, it's insignificant. and I'm sure you'll succeed in cutting and be med free eventually. You're strong, no doubt about it.  

Hi Dear Ogres!  Always so happy to hear from you and appreciate your encouragement.  How long did it take for your tinnitus to improve?  I am getting some periods of relief where it's not godawful so that is an improvement; but I am wondering how long did it take for you to get to the point where it was "almost non-existent?"  I know it's different for everyone, but just wondering what your experience was.

Thanks for telling me I'm strong.  I have a list of doctors who thought otherwise! :)

I looked up marmite because I never heard of it.  I'm not sure they sell it in the States.  They just stopped selling it in Canada, I read.

I take Lipoflavinoids which I believe contain lots of B vitamins.  I didn't take them at first because of the possible overstimulation, but started recently, a little at a time, and they may help, not experiencing any harm so far.

 

Did you see Johann Hari on Tucker Carlson tv last night?  Glad he is getting some press.  I felt so up on things and well-informed to have already read his research on how to understand the meaning of depression without drugs.  Thanks for that reading tip.  What else do you recommend?

 

xo RM

 

Alcohol periodic excessive 1963-1976, Valium sporadic 1964-1973,  Imipramine off & on 1982-1985, Fluoxetine 10mg-80 mg. Oct., 1995-Jan., 2014; Cymbalta, other ADs 1/2014-3/2014; Abilify 5 mg. 3/2014 - 8/8/17; Trintellix 20 mg. 3/2014 - 9/2017; Propranolol 60-80 mg. sporadically Sept-Oct, 2017; Seroquel few days Sept 2017 (c/t); Wellbutrin 150 mg. Sept, 2017 updosed to 300 mg. few days till c/t Oct 8, 2017, fish oil, vitD, vitE Oct 16, 2017-pres. Lipoflavonoid 4/2017-pres.  Fluoxetine 10 mg. Sept-Oct 8, 2017, 20 mg. 10/9- 10/15; 10 mg. 10/16 - 12/29;  9 mg. 12/30 - 2/9; 2 mL liquid (8.1mg) 2/10 - 3/7; 1.8 mL (7.29 mg) 3/8 -3/20; 1.6 mL (6.561mg) 3/20-4/2; 1.4 mL (5.9 mg) 4/3-4/14; 1mL (4 mg.) 4/15-4/22; .9mL (3.6mg) 4/23-5/1; .81mL (3.24 mg) 5/2-5/24; .73mL (2.916mg.) 5/25-6/8; .65mL 6/9-6/23; .6mL 6/24-7/17; .58mL 7/18-7/28; .525mL 7/29-8/13; .5 mL 8/14-21; .45mL 8/22-31; .4mL 9/2-21; .35mL 9/22-10/4; .3mL 10/5-28; .25mL 10/28-11/10; .2mL 11/11-11/24; .18mL 11/25-12/3; .1mL 12/4-12/18. Zero-12/19/18-present.

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Hi RM,

 

Glad to see you are dong well!  My dystonia is resolving, too.  Have a nice weekend.

 

Rosetta

https://www.survivingantidepressants.org/topic/16629-rosetta-ct-may-2011-too-fast-taper-feb-2017/?page=25

2001-2011 Celexa 10 mg raised to 40 mg then 60 mg over this time period

May 2011 OB Doctor's Cold switch Celexa 60 mg to 10 mg Zoloft sertraline (baby born)

2012-2016 - Doctors raised dose of Zoloft up to 150 mg

2016 - Xanax prescribed - as needed - 0.5 mg about every 3 days (bad reaction)

2016 - Stopped Xanax

Late 2016- Began (too fast) taper of Zoloft

Early 2017 - Trazodone prescribed for bedtime (doseage unknown)

Feb 2017 - Completed taper/stopped Trazodone

Drug free since Feb 2017

2017 - Unisom otc very rarely for sleep

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18 hours ago, RealMe said:

Hi Dear Ogres!  Always so happy to hear from you and appreciate your encouragement.  How long did it take for your tinnitus to improve?  I am getting some periods of relief where it's not godawful so that is an improvement; but I am wondering how long did it take for you to get to the point where it was "almost non-existent?"  I know it's different for everyone, but just wondering what your experience was.

Thanks for telling me I'm strong.  I have a list of doctors who thought otherwise! :)

I looked up marmite because I never heard of it.  I'm not sure they sell it in the States.  They just stopped selling it in Canada, I read.

I take Lipoflavinoids which I believe contain lots of B vitamins.  I didn't take them at first because of the possible overstimulation, but started recently, a little at a time, and they may help, not experiencing any harm so far.

 

Did you see Johann Hari on Tucker Carlson tv last night?  Glad he is getting some press.  I felt so up on things and well-informed to have already read his research on how to understand the meaning of depression without drugs.  Thanks for that reading tip.  What else do you recommend?

 

xo RM

 

Hi RealMe, for my tinnitus to get to 'almost non-existent' state it probably took 1-1.5 years. I still have it sometimes, but only after stress, sleepless nights, hangovers, sensory overstimulation. 

Marmite is made from a beer industry by-product, full of b-vitamins in a more or less natural form. Mainly, yeast extract. I normally take it in the morning and don't notice any stimulation. It helped when I didn't have any appetite. Also read it might be helpful for nervous system recovery. Not sure whether you can buy it in US.

I'll search for Johann Hari broadcast, thanks. 

Did you read 'anatomy of an epidemic' by Whitaker? It was mentioned on this website. It's more about pharma industry and it's dirty ways of drugging people for profit. It's less of a self-help book, though. 

Or try 'Presence by Amy Cuddy,  it's more for personal development and self acceptance, etc. I think you'll like it.

Feb 2009-Jul 2015 was on Prozac 20mg/day

                               with breaks for weeks and months off

                               in between.

Jul 2015-Feb 2016 off (cold turkey).

Feb 2016-Aug 2016 back on Prozac 20mg/day

Sep 2016-         completely off (cold turkey)

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On 6/9/2018 at 6:02 PM, Rosetta said:

My dystonia is resolving, too.

Yay!  I remember when the psychiatrist distinctly told me it wasn't caused by the medication I was taking at the time (abilify and trintellix) and referred me to a neurologist.  He prescribed propranolol and when that didn't work, suggested primidone which I did not take, thank goodness.  I was going to go for botox treatments, but read advice on SA that it was risky, so I cancelled.  So glad I did cancel.

xo RM

Alcohol periodic excessive 1963-1976, Valium sporadic 1964-1973,  Imipramine off & on 1982-1985, Fluoxetine 10mg-80 mg. Oct., 1995-Jan., 2014; Cymbalta, other ADs 1/2014-3/2014; Abilify 5 mg. 3/2014 - 8/8/17; Trintellix 20 mg. 3/2014 - 9/2017; Propranolol 60-80 mg. sporadically Sept-Oct, 2017; Seroquel few days Sept 2017 (c/t); Wellbutrin 150 mg. Sept, 2017 updosed to 300 mg. few days till c/t Oct 8, 2017, fish oil, vitD, vitE Oct 16, 2017-pres. Lipoflavonoid 4/2017-pres.  Fluoxetine 10 mg. Sept-Oct 8, 2017, 20 mg. 10/9- 10/15; 10 mg. 10/16 - 12/29;  9 mg. 12/30 - 2/9; 2 mL liquid (8.1mg) 2/10 - 3/7; 1.8 mL (7.29 mg) 3/8 -3/20; 1.6 mL (6.561mg) 3/20-4/2; 1.4 mL (5.9 mg) 4/3-4/14; 1mL (4 mg.) 4/15-4/22; .9mL (3.6mg) 4/23-5/1; .81mL (3.24 mg) 5/2-5/24; .73mL (2.916mg.) 5/25-6/8; .65mL 6/9-6/23; .6mL 6/24-7/17; .58mL 7/18-7/28; .525mL 7/29-8/13; .5 mL 8/14-21; .45mL 8/22-31; .4mL 9/2-21; .35mL 9/22-10/4; .3mL 10/5-28; .25mL 10/28-11/10; .2mL 11/11-11/24; .18mL 11/25-12/3; .1mL 12/4-12/18. Zero-12/19/18-present.

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Tough day.  I guess I got spoiled with all those feelings of stability.  I just can't be afraid of waves again.  They come and then they go.  This is two days after a cut, probably a significant factor.

xo to all survivors!  Good to be with you.

Alcohol periodic excessive 1963-1976, Valium sporadic 1964-1973,  Imipramine off & on 1982-1985, Fluoxetine 10mg-80 mg. Oct., 1995-Jan., 2014; Cymbalta, other ADs 1/2014-3/2014; Abilify 5 mg. 3/2014 - 8/8/17; Trintellix 20 mg. 3/2014 - 9/2017; Propranolol 60-80 mg. sporadically Sept-Oct, 2017; Seroquel few days Sept 2017 (c/t); Wellbutrin 150 mg. Sept, 2017 updosed to 300 mg. few days till c/t Oct 8, 2017, fish oil, vitD, vitE Oct 16, 2017-pres. Lipoflavonoid 4/2017-pres.  Fluoxetine 10 mg. Sept-Oct 8, 2017, 20 mg. 10/9- 10/15; 10 mg. 10/16 - 12/29;  9 mg. 12/30 - 2/9; 2 mL liquid (8.1mg) 2/10 - 3/7; 1.8 mL (7.29 mg) 3/8 -3/20; 1.6 mL (6.561mg) 3/20-4/2; 1.4 mL (5.9 mg) 4/3-4/14; 1mL (4 mg.) 4/15-4/22; .9mL (3.6mg) 4/23-5/1; .81mL (3.24 mg) 5/2-5/24; .73mL (2.916mg.) 5/25-6/8; .65mL 6/9-6/23; .6mL 6/24-7/17; .58mL 7/18-7/28; .525mL 7/29-8/13; .5 mL 8/14-21; .45mL 8/22-31; .4mL 9/2-21; .35mL 9/22-10/4; .3mL 10/5-28; .25mL 10/28-11/10; .2mL 11/11-11/24; .18mL 11/25-12/3; .1mL 12/4-12/18. Zero-12/19/18-present.

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4 minutes ago, RealMe said:

Tough day.  I guess I got spoiled with all those feelings of stability.  I just can't be afraid of waves again.  They come and then they go.  This is two days after a cut, probably a significant factor.

xo to all survivors!  Good to be with you.

 

Oh, those windows and waves!!! But yes -- good to remember the pattern and as much as possible try not to be afraid of it.

 

Sounds like it's definitely bc of the recent dosage cut. Hang in there!

 

We are definitely survivors. Good to be with you too. : )

 

2020: After 18+ years (entire adult life) on Paxil, a dangerous doctor-led "taper" in 2015, and four years tapering off the last 1 mg thanks to SA and the Brassmonkey slide, 

I AM COMPLETELY FREE OF PAXIL! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! Forever.

 

2021: Began conservative, proper, CNS-respecting taper of Zoloft, led by the only expert on me -- me. Making own liquid. 5-10% plus holds.

2022: Holding on Zoloft for now. Current dose 47 mg. Hanging in, hanging on. Severe protracted PAWS, windows and waves. While I may not be doing "a lot" by outside standards, things are graaaaadually getting better

 

Yoga (gentle to medium); walks; daily breath practice; nutrition, fruits/veg; nature; water; EastEnders (lol); practicing self-compassion, self-care; boundaries; connection; allowing feelings; t r u s t ing that I, too, will heal. (--> may need to be reminded of this.)

"You are not alone, and this is not the end of your story." - Baylissa

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7 minutes ago, SkyBlue said:

 

Oh, those windows and waves!!! But yes -- good to remember the pattern and as much as possible try not to be afraid of it.

 

Sounds like it's definitely bc of the recent dosage cut. Hang in there!

 

We are definitely survivors. Good to be with you too. : )

Thank you, dear SkyBlue!  Your words are good medicine.  :)

xo RM

Alcohol periodic excessive 1963-1976, Valium sporadic 1964-1973,  Imipramine off & on 1982-1985, Fluoxetine 10mg-80 mg. Oct., 1995-Jan., 2014; Cymbalta, other ADs 1/2014-3/2014; Abilify 5 mg. 3/2014 - 8/8/17; Trintellix 20 mg. 3/2014 - 9/2017; Propranolol 60-80 mg. sporadically Sept-Oct, 2017; Seroquel few days Sept 2017 (c/t); Wellbutrin 150 mg. Sept, 2017 updosed to 300 mg. few days till c/t Oct 8, 2017, fish oil, vitD, vitE Oct 16, 2017-pres. Lipoflavonoid 4/2017-pres.  Fluoxetine 10 mg. Sept-Oct 8, 2017, 20 mg. 10/9- 10/15; 10 mg. 10/16 - 12/29;  9 mg. 12/30 - 2/9; 2 mL liquid (8.1mg) 2/10 - 3/7; 1.8 mL (7.29 mg) 3/8 -3/20; 1.6 mL (6.561mg) 3/20-4/2; 1.4 mL (5.9 mg) 4/3-4/14; 1mL (4 mg.) 4/15-4/22; .9mL (3.6mg) 4/23-5/1; .81mL (3.24 mg) 5/2-5/24; .73mL (2.916mg.) 5/25-6/8; .65mL 6/9-6/23; .6mL 6/24-7/17; .58mL 7/18-7/28; .525mL 7/29-8/13; .5 mL 8/14-21; .45mL 8/22-31; .4mL 9/2-21; .35mL 9/22-10/4; .3mL 10/5-28; .25mL 10/28-11/10; .2mL 11/11-11/24; .18mL 11/25-12/3; .1mL 12/4-12/18. Zero-12/19/18-present.

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3 hours ago, RealMe said:

Tough day.  I guess I got spoiled with all those feelings of stability.  I just can't be afraid of waves again.  They come and then they go.  This is two days after a cut, probably a significant factor.

xo to all survivors!  Good to be with you.

 

Yep RealMe, 

 

It’s up, down, up, down. When we’ve been stable for a while it’s easy to go into panic when we hit massive waves again. We really have to learn not  to be afraid of waves like you said and just ride them out. Not much fun when you’ve had a bit of a life and then all of a sudden you have to try and distract yourself just to get through the day. 

 

When we are in windows we need to find new hobbies or other techniques that we can use to distract ourselves when in waves. I do different things but I’ve found my best distractions are crocheting and watching DVDs and Netflix. Both things don’t need much brain power. 

 

Sending hugs🤗

 

 

Been on APs, benzos, ADs and opiates, for chronic pain. Had Akathisia in the past that made me suicidal. Still on Seroquel. 2019:➡️ March10=7.25mg ✔️ April17=7.0✔️ June5=6.75✔️ July14=6.50✔️ Aug28=6.25✔️ Oct10=6.20  ✔️ Oct21=6.0✔️ Dec16=5.80 ✔️ 2020➡️ Jan 21=5.60 ✔️ April2=5.40 ✔️ May29=5.20 ✔️ Aug14= 5.0 ✔️Sep29=4.80✔️2021➡️ Jan31=4.60 mg✔️ April24=4.40mg✔️Jul17=4.30mg ✔️ Aug 28=4.20 ✔️ Oct 11=4.15✔️Nov1=4.10 ✔️ Nov21= 4.05✔️ Dec13= 4mg ✔️2022 ➡️ Jan8=3.95✔️ Jan31=3.90✔️ March2=3.85 ✔️ April4=3.80 ✔️ June16=3.75✔️ July26=3.70✔️ Sep2=3.65✔️ Oct21=3.60 ✔️ Dec8=3.55✔️2023➡️ Jan 26=3.50✔️ March 17=3.45✔️ June12=3.40✔️ July30=3.35✔️ Sep14=3.30✔️ Oct31=3.25✔️This is NOT medical advice.Consult your doctor.

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RealMe,

 

I received your PM but am going to answer you here in your thread so all of your information is in one place.You reported that taking magnesium is causing your tongue to feel sore and irritated. You may want to try getting magnesium oil or a cream version, that way it's absorbed through your skin instead of taking it by mouth. You can also make your own cream or spray:

 

How to make creams and sprays

 

Recipe for magnesium spray

 

Perhaps putting it in water and sipping on it may be better:

 

Recipe for magnesium water

 

Or try an Epsom salt bath as an alternative way to getting magnesium. 

 

More information can be found here: 

 

Magnesium, nature's calcium channel blocker

 

 

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On 6/16/2018 at 11:33 AM, Shep said:

You may want to try getting magnesium oil or a cream version, that way it's absorbed through your skin instead of taking it by mouth.

Hi Shep,

I ordered magnesium spray from Amazon, and today I sprayed a little on my leg where I've been having some pain.  I asked the pharmacist about the reaction I had in my mouth, and he said I would probably have the same reaction no matter how I put it into my system.  Well, we shall see.  I just tried a small amount (as I've learned to do here).  Thanks for your feedback.

RM

 

Alcohol periodic excessive 1963-1976, Valium sporadic 1964-1973,  Imipramine off & on 1982-1985, Fluoxetine 10mg-80 mg. Oct., 1995-Jan., 2014; Cymbalta, other ADs 1/2014-3/2014; Abilify 5 mg. 3/2014 - 8/8/17; Trintellix 20 mg. 3/2014 - 9/2017; Propranolol 60-80 mg. sporadically Sept-Oct, 2017; Seroquel few days Sept 2017 (c/t); Wellbutrin 150 mg. Sept, 2017 updosed to 300 mg. few days till c/t Oct 8, 2017, fish oil, vitD, vitE Oct 16, 2017-pres. Lipoflavonoid 4/2017-pres.  Fluoxetine 10 mg. Sept-Oct 8, 2017, 20 mg. 10/9- 10/15; 10 mg. 10/16 - 12/29;  9 mg. 12/30 - 2/9; 2 mL liquid (8.1mg) 2/10 - 3/7; 1.8 mL (7.29 mg) 3/8 -3/20; 1.6 mL (6.561mg) 3/20-4/2; 1.4 mL (5.9 mg) 4/3-4/14; 1mL (4 mg.) 4/15-4/22; .9mL (3.6mg) 4/23-5/1; .81mL (3.24 mg) 5/2-5/24; .73mL (2.916mg.) 5/25-6/8; .65mL 6/9-6/23; .6mL 6/24-7/17; .58mL 7/18-7/28; .525mL 7/29-8/13; .5 mL 8/14-21; .45mL 8/22-31; .4mL 9/2-21; .35mL 9/22-10/4; .3mL 10/5-28; .25mL 10/28-11/10; .2mL 11/11-11/24; .18mL 11/25-12/3; .1mL 12/4-12/18. Zero-12/19/18-present.

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It took me a few days to calm down after my recent taper.  I've been keeping very busy with end of year activities for my grandchildren.  When I think about how incapacitated I was when I started withdrawing last August, I am quite amazed at how much better I am functioning.  Many of the thoughts and feelings I experience are very difficult, but I am using everything I can to combat them.  I was just thinking recently that one of the best things I've learned here is to never whimper in the presence of anyone who might recommend that I take ADs!  I will only admit to depressing or feeling neuro-emotions with other AD survivors.  My goal is to learn to cope without mind-bending, brain-altering drugs.  Still have dystonia, but it is mild compared to the way it used to be.  Tinnitus is still awful, but I do get some breaks from it and have hopes of habituating.  I keep telling myself it is just noise, not torture, and can't kill me.  I only read positive ideas or success stories on the subject.  I think about the easy way out of my pains and troubles, a long held automatic reaction to pain; but I forcefully replace these thoughts with puppies and kittens.  I avoid politics, pharma commercials, and primarily watch comedies, jeopardy and wheel of fortune!  I force myself to socialize and refrain from complaining.  Everyone has troubles. I've been walking fairly regularly and meditating.  I make my bed every day and get dressed as soon as possible.  The oversleeping and lethargy is definitely improving.  I don't seem to feel pleasure the way I recall it in the past, but it's not all doom and gloom either.  I have a certain satisfaction that I am feeling things more--good and bad.

Wishing beautiful healing to all fellow AD survivors!

xo RM

Alcohol periodic excessive 1963-1976, Valium sporadic 1964-1973,  Imipramine off & on 1982-1985, Fluoxetine 10mg-80 mg. Oct., 1995-Jan., 2014; Cymbalta, other ADs 1/2014-3/2014; Abilify 5 mg. 3/2014 - 8/8/17; Trintellix 20 mg. 3/2014 - 9/2017; Propranolol 60-80 mg. sporadically Sept-Oct, 2017; Seroquel few days Sept 2017 (c/t); Wellbutrin 150 mg. Sept, 2017 updosed to 300 mg. few days till c/t Oct 8, 2017, fish oil, vitD, vitE Oct 16, 2017-pres. Lipoflavonoid 4/2017-pres.  Fluoxetine 10 mg. Sept-Oct 8, 2017, 20 mg. 10/9- 10/15; 10 mg. 10/16 - 12/29;  9 mg. 12/30 - 2/9; 2 mL liquid (8.1mg) 2/10 - 3/7; 1.8 mL (7.29 mg) 3/8 -3/20; 1.6 mL (6.561mg) 3/20-4/2; 1.4 mL (5.9 mg) 4/3-4/14; 1mL (4 mg.) 4/15-4/22; .9mL (3.6mg) 4/23-5/1; .81mL (3.24 mg) 5/2-5/24; .73mL (2.916mg.) 5/25-6/8; .65mL 6/9-6/23; .6mL 6/24-7/17; .58mL 7/18-7/28; .525mL 7/29-8/13; .5 mL 8/14-21; .45mL 8/22-31; .4mL 9/2-21; .35mL 9/22-10/4; .3mL 10/5-28; .25mL 10/28-11/10; .2mL 11/11-11/24; .18mL 11/25-12/3; .1mL 12/4-12/18. Zero-12/19/18-present.

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It is wonderful to read about your progress, RM!  

-1/06 - 3/07 Cymbalta. Fast taper (essentially CT); withdrawal symptoms after 4 mos (didn't realize was WD)

-10/07: 100 mg Zoloft; 1 mg Klonopin - tapered off Klonopin after 4 mos. Several unsuccessful slow tapers of Zoloft; went up and down in dose a lot

-Spring 2013 back on 1 mg Klonopin to counter WD symptoms; switched over 5-6 mos from Zoloft to 35 mg citalopram
-Two attempts at slow tapering citalopram, always increased dose due to WD; also increased Klonopin to 1.25 mg in 2014, then to 1.5 mg in 2015

-8/17-9/17: After holding one year at 20 mg, feeling withdrawal symptoms due to stress - slowly increased to 25 mg. No change in symptoms after 6 months (? tolerance ?)  - decided to start citalopram taper February 2018 (still on Klonopin 1.5 mg).

Supplements: fish oil; magnesium; vitamin D3; curcumin

Citalopram taper:  2/2018 - 12/2019: 25 mg - 11.03 mg I 2020: 10.89 mg - 7.9 mg I 2021: 7.8 mg - 5.26 mg I 2022: 5.2 mg - 3.36 mg I 2023: 3.3 mg - 1.47 mg 2024: 1/5/24: 1.44 mg; 1/19/24: 1.40 mg; 1/26/24: 1.37 mg; 2/2/24: 1.34 mg; 2/9/24: 1.31 mg; 2/23/24: 1.28 mg; 3/1/24: 1.25 mg; 3/8/24: 1.22 mg; 3/15/24: 1.19 mg

 

 

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Thanks for your uplifting post, RM!! - Rosetta

https://www.survivingantidepressants.org/topic/16629-rosetta-ct-may-2011-too-fast-taper-feb-2017/?page=25

2001-2011 Celexa 10 mg raised to 40 mg then 60 mg over this time period

May 2011 OB Doctor's Cold switch Celexa 60 mg to 10 mg Zoloft sertraline (baby born)

2012-2016 - Doctors raised dose of Zoloft up to 150 mg

2016 - Xanax prescribed - as needed - 0.5 mg about every 3 days (bad reaction)

2016 - Stopped Xanax

Late 2016- Began (too fast) taper of Zoloft

Early 2017 - Trazodone prescribed for bedtime (doseage unknown)

Feb 2017 - Completed taper/stopped Trazodone

Drug free since Feb 2017

2017 - Unisom otc very rarely for sleep

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Having a wave, dammit.  I'm writing this not to seek sympathy but to honestly record what is happening to me.  I am not always sure of which symptoms are under my control or how I might relieve them. Mostly, I tell myself I have to be patient, and the discomfort will pass.  Morning lethargy and low mood. Frustrating, anxiety provoking tinnitus.  Body aches and pains. Tremors. Anhedonia, not wanting to shower or fix my hair.  I am riding it out. Trying not to isolate but very difficult.

xo RM

 

Alcohol periodic excessive 1963-1976, Valium sporadic 1964-1973,  Imipramine off & on 1982-1985, Fluoxetine 10mg-80 mg. Oct., 1995-Jan., 2014; Cymbalta, other ADs 1/2014-3/2014; Abilify 5 mg. 3/2014 - 8/8/17; Trintellix 20 mg. 3/2014 - 9/2017; Propranolol 60-80 mg. sporadically Sept-Oct, 2017; Seroquel few days Sept 2017 (c/t); Wellbutrin 150 mg. Sept, 2017 updosed to 300 mg. few days till c/t Oct 8, 2017, fish oil, vitD, vitE Oct 16, 2017-pres. Lipoflavonoid 4/2017-pres.  Fluoxetine 10 mg. Sept-Oct 8, 2017, 20 mg. 10/9- 10/15; 10 mg. 10/16 - 12/29;  9 mg. 12/30 - 2/9; 2 mL liquid (8.1mg) 2/10 - 3/7; 1.8 mL (7.29 mg) 3/8 -3/20; 1.6 mL (6.561mg) 3/20-4/2; 1.4 mL (5.9 mg) 4/3-4/14; 1mL (4 mg.) 4/15-4/22; .9mL (3.6mg) 4/23-5/1; .81mL (3.24 mg) 5/2-5/24; .73mL (2.916mg.) 5/25-6/8; .65mL 6/9-6/23; .6mL 6/24-7/17; .58mL 7/18-7/28; .525mL 7/29-8/13; .5 mL 8/14-21; .45mL 8/22-31; .4mL 9/2-21; .35mL 9/22-10/4; .3mL 10/5-28; .25mL 10/28-11/10; .2mL 11/11-11/24; .18mL 11/25-12/3; .1mL 12/4-12/18. Zero-12/19/18-present.

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  • Mentor

I hope this wave passes quickly

(((RM)))

 

  • pysch med history: 1974 @ age 18 to Oct 2017 (approx 43 yrs total) 
  •  Drug list: stelazine, haldol, elavil, lithium, zoloft, celexa, lexapro(doses as high as 40mgs), klonopin, ambien, seroquel(high doses), depakote, zyprexa, lamictal- plus brief trials of dozens of other psych meds over the years
  • started lexapro 2002, dose varied from 20mgs to 40mgs. First attempt to get off it was 2007- WD symptoms were mistaken for "relapse". 
  •  2013 too fast taper down to 5mg but WD forced me back to 20mgs
  •  June of 2105, tapered again too rapidly to 2.5mgs by Dec 2015. Found SA, held at 2.5 mgs til May 2016 when I foolishly "jumped off". felt ok until  Sept, then acute WD hit!!  reinstated at 0.3mgs in Oct. 2106
  • Tapered off to zero by  Oct. 2017 Doing very well. 
  • Nov. 2018 feel 95% healed, age 63 
  • Jan. 2020 feel 100% healed, peaceful and content
  • Dec 2023 Loving life! ❤️ with all it's ups and downs ;) 
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15 hours ago, RealMe said:

Having a wave, dammit.  I'm writing this not to seek sympathy but to honestly record what is happening to me.  I am not always sure of which symptoms are under my control or how I might relieve them. Mostly, I tell myself I have to be patient, and the discomfort will pass.  Morning lethargy and low mood. Frustrating, anxiety provoking tinnitus.  Body aches and pains. Tremors. Anhedonia, not wanting to shower or fix my hair.  I am riding it out. Trying not to isolate but very difficult.

xo RM

 

 

I’m so sorry you are going through this RealMe, 

 

It really is a horrific experience going through immense waves. 

 

All we can do is ride it out. It’s hard to know what to do sometimes. Do you have DVDs of favourite shows you like to watch? All we can do is to keep distracting ourselves. Everyone has different ways of distracting themselves. I’ve spent many hours editing photos while going through severe waves, playing Words With Friends on my iPad, colouring in, putting on my headphones and zoning out to music etc etc.

 

Everyone is different, what works for one person doesn’t necessarily work for another. Only you know what can distract you. I’ve spent whole days crocheting while watching a Netflix just to make it through the day. 

 

Sending you big hugs🤗

 

 

 

 

Been on APs, benzos, ADs and opiates, for chronic pain. Had Akathisia in the past that made me suicidal. Still on Seroquel. 2019:➡️ March10=7.25mg ✔️ April17=7.0✔️ June5=6.75✔️ July14=6.50✔️ Aug28=6.25✔️ Oct10=6.20  ✔️ Oct21=6.0✔️ Dec16=5.80 ✔️ 2020➡️ Jan 21=5.60 ✔️ April2=5.40 ✔️ May29=5.20 ✔️ Aug14= 5.0 ✔️Sep29=4.80✔️2021➡️ Jan31=4.60 mg✔️ April24=4.40mg✔️Jul17=4.30mg ✔️ Aug 28=4.20 ✔️ Oct 11=4.15✔️Nov1=4.10 ✔️ Nov21= 4.05✔️ Dec13= 4mg ✔️2022 ➡️ Jan8=3.95✔️ Jan31=3.90✔️ March2=3.85 ✔️ April4=3.80 ✔️ June16=3.75✔️ July26=3.70✔️ Sep2=3.65✔️ Oct21=3.60 ✔️ Dec8=3.55✔️2023➡️ Jan 26=3.50✔️ March 17=3.45✔️ June12=3.40✔️ July30=3.35✔️ Sep14=3.30✔️ Oct31=3.25✔️This is NOT medical advice.Consult your doctor.

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Hello RealMe,

 

I've been reading through your posts and I must say you sound like an amazingly strong and awesome person :) sorry to hear you're in a wave, oh how cruel WD is to us. I can relate to a lot of what you're experiencing. I tried to reinstate and it didn't go well. So I've had tinnitus for about 7 month now, I cope by always having something on at night, usually my laptop playing some TV show with the screen brightness off. The characters conversations help mask the noise and provides distraction. We all have our coping strategies. But Yeah, tinnitus is the worst! so I understand you're pain. Well there's actually a lot more we have in common symptom wise but this is about you. I just wanted to say Hello and let's be friends :) Hope you're feeling better. 



January 2012: Citalopram 10mg
February 2012: Citalopram 20mg
Arpil: 2017: Citalopram 20mg  CT'd discontinuation
December (mid)  2017 - Citalopram 10mg reinstatement (8 days) CT'd
Med Free since since December 2017
 
 
 
  • Gender
    Male
  • Location
    Bournemouth, UK

 

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9 hours ago, Happy2Heal said:

I hope this wave passes quickly

(((RM)))

Thank you, H2H!  I am definitely feeling better today.  What confuses me is the intensity of the waves.  And they never seem to have anything to do with what's going on around me or with relationships.  That's one of the ways I know it's withdrawal.  I certainly have been able to feel sad and/or upset about emotional things in a way I never was when on ADs, but the waves are completely different.  I can actually wish for the end when I am in the thick of the pain.  Fortunately, I can reason it out and know that it will pass; but I still feel it so intensely.  I would not be able to do this without the support I find here.  This forum is teaching me to use my head.

Hope all is well, H2H, and that you are feeling less stress!  Thank you for checking on me.

xo RM

Alcohol periodic excessive 1963-1976, Valium sporadic 1964-1973,  Imipramine off & on 1982-1985, Fluoxetine 10mg-80 mg. Oct., 1995-Jan., 2014; Cymbalta, other ADs 1/2014-3/2014; Abilify 5 mg. 3/2014 - 8/8/17; Trintellix 20 mg. 3/2014 - 9/2017; Propranolol 60-80 mg. sporadically Sept-Oct, 2017; Seroquel few days Sept 2017 (c/t); Wellbutrin 150 mg. Sept, 2017 updosed to 300 mg. few days till c/t Oct 8, 2017, fish oil, vitD, vitE Oct 16, 2017-pres. Lipoflavonoid 4/2017-pres.  Fluoxetine 10 mg. Sept-Oct 8, 2017, 20 mg. 10/9- 10/15; 10 mg. 10/16 - 12/29;  9 mg. 12/30 - 2/9; 2 mL liquid (8.1mg) 2/10 - 3/7; 1.8 mL (7.29 mg) 3/8 -3/20; 1.6 mL (6.561mg) 3/20-4/2; 1.4 mL (5.9 mg) 4/3-4/14; 1mL (4 mg.) 4/15-4/22; .9mL (3.6mg) 4/23-5/1; .81mL (3.24 mg) 5/2-5/24; .73mL (2.916mg.) 5/25-6/8; .65mL 6/9-6/23; .6mL 6/24-7/17; .58mL 7/18-7/28; .525mL 7/29-8/13; .5 mL 8/14-21; .45mL 8/22-31; .4mL 9/2-21; .35mL 9/22-10/4; .3mL 10/5-28; .25mL 10/28-11/10; .2mL 11/11-11/24; .18mL 11/25-12/3; .1mL 12/4-12/18. Zero-12/19/18-present.

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9 hours ago, Carmie said:

All we can do is ride it out. It’s hard to know what to do sometimes. Do you have DVDs of favourite shows you like to watch? All we can do is to keep distracting ourselves. Everyone has different ways of distracting themselves. I’ve spent many hours editing photos while going through severe waves, playing Words With Friends on my iPad, colouring in, putting on my headphones and zoning out to music etc etc.

 

Everyone is different, what works for one person doesn’t necessarily work for another. Only you know what can distract you. I’ve spent whole days crocheting while watching a Netflix just to make it through the day. 

 

Sending you big hugs🤗

 

 

 

 

Thank you so much for the hugs and great ideas, Carmie!  I can't tell you how many thousands of words with friends and FB scrabble games I've played since I started WD last year!  I used to crochet but haven't done that since the tremors started over a year ago.  Maybe it's time I tried again since they are not as severe as they used to be.  I definitely watch a lot of television, but my concentration is not very good when I'm in a wave.  It takes a lot to hold my attention.  Usually I'm surfing the internet while trying to watch tv.  I get so scattered.  I've never been a music listener really, so it's ironic to me that I would wind up with tinnitus.  I found out that it's not good to be in silence so I always have some kind of noise going on even if I'm not really paying attention to it.  I bought a sound masking machine (noise maker) for night time that really helps when I go to sleep.  I have had some sporadic relief recently, but I don't take it well at all when it spikes.  Editing photos sounds like something I'm definitely going to try!  Thanks for that.

Even though I've had windows more frequently recently, I still get so bogged down in a wave whenever I have one that you would think I was never in a window or just didn't understand the concept!  Then I get very angry at myself even though I know I shouldn't waste my energy with that.

I hope you are well, Carmie.  It is so kind of you to take the time to help others.  People are very good here on this forum.

xo, RM

Alcohol periodic excessive 1963-1976, Valium sporadic 1964-1973,  Imipramine off & on 1982-1985, Fluoxetine 10mg-80 mg. Oct., 1995-Jan., 2014; Cymbalta, other ADs 1/2014-3/2014; Abilify 5 mg. 3/2014 - 8/8/17; Trintellix 20 mg. 3/2014 - 9/2017; Propranolol 60-80 mg. sporadically Sept-Oct, 2017; Seroquel few days Sept 2017 (c/t); Wellbutrin 150 mg. Sept, 2017 updosed to 300 mg. few days till c/t Oct 8, 2017, fish oil, vitD, vitE Oct 16, 2017-pres. Lipoflavonoid 4/2017-pres.  Fluoxetine 10 mg. Sept-Oct 8, 2017, 20 mg. 10/9- 10/15; 10 mg. 10/16 - 12/29;  9 mg. 12/30 - 2/9; 2 mL liquid (8.1mg) 2/10 - 3/7; 1.8 mL (7.29 mg) 3/8 -3/20; 1.6 mL (6.561mg) 3/20-4/2; 1.4 mL (5.9 mg) 4/3-4/14; 1mL (4 mg.) 4/15-4/22; .9mL (3.6mg) 4/23-5/1; .81mL (3.24 mg) 5/2-5/24; .73mL (2.916mg.) 5/25-6/8; .65mL 6/9-6/23; .6mL 6/24-7/17; .58mL 7/18-7/28; .525mL 7/29-8/13; .5 mL 8/14-21; .45mL 8/22-31; .4mL 9/2-21; .35mL 9/22-10/4; .3mL 10/5-28; .25mL 10/28-11/10; .2mL 11/11-11/24; .18mL 11/25-12/3; .1mL 12/4-12/18. Zero-12/19/18-present.

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10 hours ago, Fontman82 said:

I just wanted to say Hello and let's be friends :) Hope you're feeling better.

Thanks for stopping by Fontman82!  I read through your thread and posted there.  I'm glad to know you and wish you an easy but splendid healing!

xo RM

Alcohol periodic excessive 1963-1976, Valium sporadic 1964-1973,  Imipramine off & on 1982-1985, Fluoxetine 10mg-80 mg. Oct., 1995-Jan., 2014; Cymbalta, other ADs 1/2014-3/2014; Abilify 5 mg. 3/2014 - 8/8/17; Trintellix 20 mg. 3/2014 - 9/2017; Propranolol 60-80 mg. sporadically Sept-Oct, 2017; Seroquel few days Sept 2017 (c/t); Wellbutrin 150 mg. Sept, 2017 updosed to 300 mg. few days till c/t Oct 8, 2017, fish oil, vitD, vitE Oct 16, 2017-pres. Lipoflavonoid 4/2017-pres.  Fluoxetine 10 mg. Sept-Oct 8, 2017, 20 mg. 10/9- 10/15; 10 mg. 10/16 - 12/29;  9 mg. 12/30 - 2/9; 2 mL liquid (8.1mg) 2/10 - 3/7; 1.8 mL (7.29 mg) 3/8 -3/20; 1.6 mL (6.561mg) 3/20-4/2; 1.4 mL (5.9 mg) 4/3-4/14; 1mL (4 mg.) 4/15-4/22; .9mL (3.6mg) 4/23-5/1; .81mL (3.24 mg) 5/2-5/24; .73mL (2.916mg.) 5/25-6/8; .65mL 6/9-6/23; .6mL 6/24-7/17; .58mL 7/18-7/28; .525mL 7/29-8/13; .5 mL 8/14-21; .45mL 8/22-31; .4mL 9/2-21; .35mL 9/22-10/4; .3mL 10/5-28; .25mL 10/28-11/10; .2mL 11/11-11/24; .18mL 11/25-12/3; .1mL 12/4-12/18. Zero-12/19/18-present.

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For 3 days I had these symptoms.  Today I am much better even though I still have the tongue thing going on.

Tinnitus; tremors; metallic taste, sore tongue with sort of burning sensation, feeling like tongue is too big for my mouth, white spot on tongue; anxiety about symptoms; fearful of tongue cancer; rinsing mouth with warm salt water twice a day.  Seeing dentist on Tuesday; lots of crying; fatigue; telling myself not to react emotionally; morning depressing; not wanting to wake up and face the day.  I have had this strange tongue thing since I went on liquid fluoxetine.  I thought it was from magnesium.  Now I'm not sure.  I may be tapering too fast. Will hold longer this time. I haven't been babysitting my granddaughters because their father is home for the summer, so I am missing them and their ability to  distract me.  Tend to ruminate when I have time on my hands.  Walked 2 1/2 miles a couple of days ago. Went to the beach today.  I have to force myself to do stuff.  I feel better at night so I have to force myself to go to bed.  I so dread the mornings that I hate to go to bed at night.  No matter what time I go to bed, I still wake up feeling like a ball of dreadfulness.

Hope my fellow survivors are doing well.  If anyone has experience with this tongue thing, please help.

xo RM

Alcohol periodic excessive 1963-1976, Valium sporadic 1964-1973,  Imipramine off & on 1982-1985, Fluoxetine 10mg-80 mg. Oct., 1995-Jan., 2014; Cymbalta, other ADs 1/2014-3/2014; Abilify 5 mg. 3/2014 - 8/8/17; Trintellix 20 mg. 3/2014 - 9/2017; Propranolol 60-80 mg. sporadically Sept-Oct, 2017; Seroquel few days Sept 2017 (c/t); Wellbutrin 150 mg. Sept, 2017 updosed to 300 mg. few days till c/t Oct 8, 2017, fish oil, vitD, vitE Oct 16, 2017-pres. Lipoflavonoid 4/2017-pres.  Fluoxetine 10 mg. Sept-Oct 8, 2017, 20 mg. 10/9- 10/15; 10 mg. 10/16 - 12/29;  9 mg. 12/30 - 2/9; 2 mL liquid (8.1mg) 2/10 - 3/7; 1.8 mL (7.29 mg) 3/8 -3/20; 1.6 mL (6.561mg) 3/20-4/2; 1.4 mL (5.9 mg) 4/3-4/14; 1mL (4 mg.) 4/15-4/22; .9mL (3.6mg) 4/23-5/1; .81mL (3.24 mg) 5/2-5/24; .73mL (2.916mg.) 5/25-6/8; .65mL 6/9-6/23; .6mL 6/24-7/17; .58mL 7/18-7/28; .525mL 7/29-8/13; .5 mL 8/14-21; .45mL 8/22-31; .4mL 9/2-21; .35mL 9/22-10/4; .3mL 10/5-28; .25mL 10/28-11/10; .2mL 11/11-11/24; .18mL 11/25-12/3; .1mL 12/4-12/18. Zero-12/19/18-present.

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Hi RM,

 

I am so sorry you are having these symptoms....I share many of them and really empathize.  Specifically,  I wanted to tell you that I have had a sore tongue that burns at times too.  It is also covered with a white coating (I think this is from dry mouth secondary to anxiety).  I have had these symptoms before in withdrawal so do believe it is related.  This time around, I've had it for about a year now.  I hope it is some comfort to you to know I have had this too and it is unlikely to be cancer (but always good to see your dentist just in case).

 

Thinking about you, 

WR

-1/06 - 3/07 Cymbalta. Fast taper (essentially CT); withdrawal symptoms after 4 mos (didn't realize was WD)

-10/07: 100 mg Zoloft; 1 mg Klonopin - tapered off Klonopin after 4 mos. Several unsuccessful slow tapers of Zoloft; went up and down in dose a lot

-Spring 2013 back on 1 mg Klonopin to counter WD symptoms; switched over 5-6 mos from Zoloft to 35 mg citalopram
-Two attempts at slow tapering citalopram, always increased dose due to WD; also increased Klonopin to 1.25 mg in 2014, then to 1.5 mg in 2015

-8/17-9/17: After holding one year at 20 mg, feeling withdrawal symptoms due to stress - slowly increased to 25 mg. No change in symptoms after 6 months (? tolerance ?)  - decided to start citalopram taper February 2018 (still on Klonopin 1.5 mg).

Supplements: fish oil; magnesium; vitamin D3; curcumin

Citalopram taper:  2/2018 - 12/2019: 25 mg - 11.03 mg I 2020: 10.89 mg - 7.9 mg I 2021: 7.8 mg - 5.26 mg I 2022: 5.2 mg - 3.36 mg I 2023: 3.3 mg - 1.47 mg 2024: 1/5/24: 1.44 mg; 1/19/24: 1.40 mg; 1/26/24: 1.37 mg; 2/2/24: 1.34 mg; 2/9/24: 1.31 mg; 2/23/24: 1.28 mg; 3/1/24: 1.25 mg; 3/8/24: 1.22 mg; 3/15/24: 1.19 mg

 

 

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11 hours ago, wantrelief said:

I hope it is some comfort to you to know I have had this too and it is unlikely to be cancer (but always good to see your dentist just in case).

 

Thinking about you, 

WR

Hi WR,

Thank you so much for responding to me.  I keep thinking there is absolutely no benefit to thinking the worst when I don't even know what the doctor will say.  Negative, gloomy intrusive thoughts are a problem with my way of thinking, especially in the morning.  I need to learn to deal with these, and try as I might I can't stop them.  Maybe keeping them at bay can be counted as a success.  They haven't made me want to go back to ADs, and that is something to be glad about.  I need to learn to cope with a certain amount of anxiety.  I can't say I can only function without any anxiety.  It's grown up time for me.  I so appreciate your sharing your experience with me.  It comforts me so much.  I've been rinsing twice a day with Celtic Sea Salt Light Grey that I found on Amazon.  I don't know if it's helping, but I do what I can.

 

I need to find some way to cope with the morning dreadfulness.  Do you have any ideas about that?  I'm going to the gym today because it is way too hot to walk outside.  Trying to acquire some endorphins.  Thank you again, dear WR, for your support.  I can't do this by myself.  It's a whole remodeling going on here, mentally, emotionally and physically.

xo RM

Alcohol periodic excessive 1963-1976, Valium sporadic 1964-1973,  Imipramine off & on 1982-1985, Fluoxetine 10mg-80 mg. Oct., 1995-Jan., 2014; Cymbalta, other ADs 1/2014-3/2014; Abilify 5 mg. 3/2014 - 8/8/17; Trintellix 20 mg. 3/2014 - 9/2017; Propranolol 60-80 mg. sporadically Sept-Oct, 2017; Seroquel few days Sept 2017 (c/t); Wellbutrin 150 mg. Sept, 2017 updosed to 300 mg. few days till c/t Oct 8, 2017, fish oil, vitD, vitE Oct 16, 2017-pres. Lipoflavonoid 4/2017-pres.  Fluoxetine 10 mg. Sept-Oct 8, 2017, 20 mg. 10/9- 10/15; 10 mg. 10/16 - 12/29;  9 mg. 12/30 - 2/9; 2 mL liquid (8.1mg) 2/10 - 3/7; 1.8 mL (7.29 mg) 3/8 -3/20; 1.6 mL (6.561mg) 3/20-4/2; 1.4 mL (5.9 mg) 4/3-4/14; 1mL (4 mg.) 4/15-4/22; .9mL (3.6mg) 4/23-5/1; .81mL (3.24 mg) 5/2-5/24; .73mL (2.916mg.) 5/25-6/8; .65mL 6/9-6/23; .6mL 6/24-7/17; .58mL 7/18-7/28; .525mL 7/29-8/13; .5 mL 8/14-21; .45mL 8/22-31; .4mL 9/2-21; .35mL 9/22-10/4; .3mL 10/5-28; .25mL 10/28-11/10; .2mL 11/11-11/24; .18mL 11/25-12/3; .1mL 12/4-12/18. Zero-12/19/18-present.

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Hi RM

youre doing great!!

 

wanted to let you know I also have the burning tongue and also the inside of my cheeks are raw and sore. I saw the dentist and he said there is no problem. But he recommended rinsing with salt water or a product called rincinol, which I have yet to try. Keep forgetting to pick it up when I’m at the drug store. 

 

So, I’m assuming it’s wd related. Also, I wear my anxiety in my mouth, grinding teeth, tongue constantly moving, rubbing on cheek walks.

 

I made a special dentist appt to have my mouth checked, then ended up going in the following week for cleaning, so it was double checked. It eased my mind. So if you are going to dwell, by all means get it checked for peace of mind. 

 

Glad to hear youre making such such great progress!! xx lg

Lex  4.3mg,  3/2/18  Ativan ,5 mg,  lunesta 2 mg , toprol  25 mg                                                            

 

Oct 16-28 2018 C/O to 19 mg V from 1.5 mg Ativan, 1.3 mg lunesta 

jan 22 2019- 11 mg V

jan 23 - pneumonia, 2 AB’s. 

    Hold taper

july 5- 10.72 V

July 6- 11 mg V- ugly bad

july 11- 10.72 mg V, 4.3 lex, 

              25 mg toprol

 

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34 minutes ago, RealMe said:

Negative, gloomy intrusive thoughts are a problem with my way of thinking, especially in the morning.  I need to learn to deal with these, and try as I might I can't stop them.

I have the same problem with the thoughts....they are pretty constant for me. I don't think we can stop them but work on how we react to them - this is a work in progress for me; at times I have success with this but other times not so much.

 

38 minutes ago, RealMe said:

I need to find some way to cope with the morning dreadfulness.  Do you have any ideas about that?  I'm going to the gym today because it is way too hot to walk outside.  Trying to acquire some endorphins.

I think you are doing much better than I in coping with the morning dreadfulness!  Unless I have an appointment, I just distract on the computer until later in the day when I can function a bit better and then force myself out to do something.  It is great you are going to the gym, RM!  You are doing really well, perhaps focus on all you are doing despite how you are feeling.

-1/06 - 3/07 Cymbalta. Fast taper (essentially CT); withdrawal symptoms after 4 mos (didn't realize was WD)

-10/07: 100 mg Zoloft; 1 mg Klonopin - tapered off Klonopin after 4 mos. Several unsuccessful slow tapers of Zoloft; went up and down in dose a lot

-Spring 2013 back on 1 mg Klonopin to counter WD symptoms; switched over 5-6 mos from Zoloft to 35 mg citalopram
-Two attempts at slow tapering citalopram, always increased dose due to WD; also increased Klonopin to 1.25 mg in 2014, then to 1.5 mg in 2015

-8/17-9/17: After holding one year at 20 mg, feeling withdrawal symptoms due to stress - slowly increased to 25 mg. No change in symptoms after 6 months (? tolerance ?)  - decided to start citalopram taper February 2018 (still on Klonopin 1.5 mg).

Supplements: fish oil; magnesium; vitamin D3; curcumin

Citalopram taper:  2/2018 - 12/2019: 25 mg - 11.03 mg I 2020: 10.89 mg - 7.9 mg I 2021: 7.8 mg - 5.26 mg I 2022: 5.2 mg - 3.36 mg I 2023: 3.3 mg - 1.47 mg 2024: 1/5/24: 1.44 mg; 1/19/24: 1.40 mg; 1/26/24: 1.37 mg; 2/2/24: 1.34 mg; 2/9/24: 1.31 mg; 2/23/24: 1.28 mg; 3/1/24: 1.25 mg; 3/8/24: 1.22 mg; 3/15/24: 1.19 mg

 

 

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8 hours ago, Littlegrandma said:

I made a special dentist appt to have my mouth checked, then ended up going in the following week for cleaning, so it was double checked. It eased my mind. So if you are going to dwell, by all means get it checked for peace of mind. 

 

Glad to hear youre making such such great progress!! xx lg

Thanks so much for the support, LG.  I went to the dentist two weeks ago, and he told me to come back tomorrow, so I'll be going to see him tomorrow morning.  I get so very tired of dealing with all of these symptoms.  I can only hope relief will come soon.

xo RM

Alcohol periodic excessive 1963-1976, Valium sporadic 1964-1973,  Imipramine off & on 1982-1985, Fluoxetine 10mg-80 mg. Oct., 1995-Jan., 2014; Cymbalta, other ADs 1/2014-3/2014; Abilify 5 mg. 3/2014 - 8/8/17; Trintellix 20 mg. 3/2014 - 9/2017; Propranolol 60-80 mg. sporadically Sept-Oct, 2017; Seroquel few days Sept 2017 (c/t); Wellbutrin 150 mg. Sept, 2017 updosed to 300 mg. few days till c/t Oct 8, 2017, fish oil, vitD, vitE Oct 16, 2017-pres. Lipoflavonoid 4/2017-pres.  Fluoxetine 10 mg. Sept-Oct 8, 2017, 20 mg. 10/9- 10/15; 10 mg. 10/16 - 12/29;  9 mg. 12/30 - 2/9; 2 mL liquid (8.1mg) 2/10 - 3/7; 1.8 mL (7.29 mg) 3/8 -3/20; 1.6 mL (6.561mg) 3/20-4/2; 1.4 mL (5.9 mg) 4/3-4/14; 1mL (4 mg.) 4/15-4/22; .9mL (3.6mg) 4/23-5/1; .81mL (3.24 mg) 5/2-5/24; .73mL (2.916mg.) 5/25-6/8; .65mL 6/9-6/23; .6mL 6/24-7/17; .58mL 7/18-7/28; .525mL 7/29-8/13; .5 mL 8/14-21; .45mL 8/22-31; .4mL 9/2-21; .35mL 9/22-10/4; .3mL 10/5-28; .25mL 10/28-11/10; .2mL 11/11-11/24; .18mL 11/25-12/3; .1mL 12/4-12/18. Zero-12/19/18-present.

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Went to the dentist this morning, and he said the only way to be 100% sure is to take a biopsy, but he said he is reasonably sure there is nothing to worry about.  It's just frequent irritation that appears to be getting better.  I have to go to an oral surgeon next week to check the status of an implant, and he said to ask the surgeon for a second opinion, but if he thought it was anything to worry about he would be sending me tomorrow.  So I am still trying to let go of my anxiety.  Also a friend of mine had a meltdown yesterday, and I am coping with that.  Her husband died a year ago, and her son is in jail!  I have trouble with my own meltdowns, so I feel a mix of emotions about her situation.  I seem to be hypersensitive to other people's problems, and hers is a doozy.   She is not answering her phone.  I need to find a peaceful place to just be.  What do you do when a loved one or friend is having an unsolvable problem, cries to you, then doesn't answer the phone?

Hope all survivors are doing well today.

xo RM

Alcohol periodic excessive 1963-1976, Valium sporadic 1964-1973,  Imipramine off & on 1982-1985, Fluoxetine 10mg-80 mg. Oct., 1995-Jan., 2014; Cymbalta, other ADs 1/2014-3/2014; Abilify 5 mg. 3/2014 - 8/8/17; Trintellix 20 mg. 3/2014 - 9/2017; Propranolol 60-80 mg. sporadically Sept-Oct, 2017; Seroquel few days Sept 2017 (c/t); Wellbutrin 150 mg. Sept, 2017 updosed to 300 mg. few days till c/t Oct 8, 2017, fish oil, vitD, vitE Oct 16, 2017-pres. Lipoflavonoid 4/2017-pres.  Fluoxetine 10 mg. Sept-Oct 8, 2017, 20 mg. 10/9- 10/15; 10 mg. 10/16 - 12/29;  9 mg. 12/30 - 2/9; 2 mL liquid (8.1mg) 2/10 - 3/7; 1.8 mL (7.29 mg) 3/8 -3/20; 1.6 mL (6.561mg) 3/20-4/2; 1.4 mL (5.9 mg) 4/3-4/14; 1mL (4 mg.) 4/15-4/22; .9mL (3.6mg) 4/23-5/1; .81mL (3.24 mg) 5/2-5/24; .73mL (2.916mg.) 5/25-6/8; .65mL 6/9-6/23; .6mL 6/24-7/17; .58mL 7/18-7/28; .525mL 7/29-8/13; .5 mL 8/14-21; .45mL 8/22-31; .4mL 9/2-21; .35mL 9/22-10/4; .3mL 10/5-28; .25mL 10/28-11/10; .2mL 11/11-11/24; .18mL 11/25-12/3; .1mL 12/4-12/18. Zero-12/19/18-present.

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Re-reading a post by Alto about the importance of keeping introductory page comments relevant to AD withdrawal, I think I may have stepped over the line with my personal trials and tribulations; therefore, I want to self-correct and try to stay within the important boundaries of this site.  To clarify my status, I am now more involved with people (less isolated), but I am struggling with my emotional reactions to them and their problems.  I am very anxious about some of my physical symptoms and tend to overreact to them.  I mean, I may be reacting normally, but I am new at dealing with stressful emotions without drugs.

Alcohol periodic excessive 1963-1976, Valium sporadic 1964-1973,  Imipramine off & on 1982-1985, Fluoxetine 10mg-80 mg. Oct., 1995-Jan., 2014; Cymbalta, other ADs 1/2014-3/2014; Abilify 5 mg. 3/2014 - 8/8/17; Trintellix 20 mg. 3/2014 - 9/2017; Propranolol 60-80 mg. sporadically Sept-Oct, 2017; Seroquel few days Sept 2017 (c/t); Wellbutrin 150 mg. Sept, 2017 updosed to 300 mg. few days till c/t Oct 8, 2017, fish oil, vitD, vitE Oct 16, 2017-pres. Lipoflavonoid 4/2017-pres.  Fluoxetine 10 mg. Sept-Oct 8, 2017, 20 mg. 10/9- 10/15; 10 mg. 10/16 - 12/29;  9 mg. 12/30 - 2/9; 2 mL liquid (8.1mg) 2/10 - 3/7; 1.8 mL (7.29 mg) 3/8 -3/20; 1.6 mL (6.561mg) 3/20-4/2; 1.4 mL (5.9 mg) 4/3-4/14; 1mL (4 mg.) 4/15-4/22; .9mL (3.6mg) 4/23-5/1; .81mL (3.24 mg) 5/2-5/24; .73mL (2.916mg.) 5/25-6/8; .65mL 6/9-6/23; .6mL 6/24-7/17; .58mL 7/18-7/28; .525mL 7/29-8/13; .5 mL 8/14-21; .45mL 8/22-31; .4mL 9/2-21; .35mL 9/22-10/4; .3mL 10/5-28; .25mL 10/28-11/10; .2mL 11/11-11/24; .18mL 11/25-12/3; .1mL 12/4-12/18. Zero-12/19/18-present.

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