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RealMe

☼ RealMe: fighting depression/withdrawal from Abilify, Trintellix now on Prozac

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RealMe

 

1 hour ago, direstraits said:

 

 

take care,ds

xx

Hi ds,

Thank you for your good wishes.  Hold on to hope.  There is so much of it here.  As you could see from my signature, I was on something for many years.  I thought I might be hopeless by the time I arrived here, but not so.  I do anything I can to keep healthy, except drugs.  There are so many good ideas here.  I can't tell by your signature where you are in the withdrawal process, but I am on your team.  Go you!!! :)

xo RM

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direstraits

Hi,RealMe

I was on and off ADs for 20 years but the last one I took,paxil ruined me.

I've been off almost 5 years now and still feel pretty bad at times but seem to be getting better overall...it can be such a loooong  process but we have to believe it will all end one day.

your story gives me hope that it will.

 

thanks for your kind support,ds

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Carmie

Hi RealMe, 

 

How have you been doing this month so far? I’m glad you are off your meds now, and I’m glad you’ve been doing pretty okay so far.

 

You made me laugh with your quote: “ I told my sister that I’d never take another AD unless I start thinking I am Napoleon.” 🤣🤣One has to find humour in this situation.

 

Sending hugs🤗

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RealMe
On 2/13/2019 at 7:37 PM, Carmie said:

How have you been doing this month so far? I’m glad you are off your meds now, and I’m glad you’ve been doing pretty okay so far.

 

Hi Carmie,

So good to get hugs from you!  I'm doing well this month so far.  I think I overreact more than many people I come in contact with, but of course we don't always know how people feel inside.  So I'm not questioning my feelings so much anymore, just trying not to be so judgmental of my thoughts and feelings.  I try to concentrate on my behavior, the one thing I can manage to a certain extent.  How are you, dear Carmie?  You seem like a caring, thoughtful person!  :)

xo RM

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Carmie

Hi RealMe, 

 

So glad you had a good month, you will get there. It looks like your body is working hard at healing itself.

 

In withdrawals it’s easy to overreact, our brains are all over the place with those horrible neuro emotions. Yes, working on behaviour is a great idea. We may have a million weird and wonderful thoughts in our brains, but the people around us don’t know what we’re thinking or feeling. 

 

I’ve still got a long way to go with tapering. Last year I went on compounding capsules, which wasn’t a good idea. I’m back on my original tablets now, but I’ll give it a few more weeks or so before I taper again. 

 

Sending you some more hugs🤗

 

 

 

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RealMe
On 2/20/2019 at 6:59 AM, Carmie said:

 

I’ve still got a long way to go with tapering. Last year I went on compounding capsules, which wasn’t a good idea. I’m back on my original tablets now, but I’ll give it a few more weeks or so before I taper again. 

 

 

 

 

Hi Carmie,

How are you doing?  I'm still okay, keeping up with my regimen of eating clean, exercising, seeking sunshine or sitting by my "happy light," reading, meditating, praying and socializing.  It's amazing how I tend to stay by myself and do nothing, but I don't allow myself to do that.  All I have to do is recall what I was like this time last year.  I wouldn't even want to go back to a few months ago. 

 

Wishing all my fellow survivors hope and perseverance.  Taper 10%, then hold...takes time but can be done.

xo RM

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Carmie
Posted (edited)

Hi RealMe, 

 

I just wanted to say again I’m glad you’re doing so well. You sound very upbeat. I think eating clean is very important in withdrawals, and in life in general. It helps our brains when we don’t have sugar, caffeine etc etc. Have you ever read the book Grain Brain by dr Perlmutter? He explains in there why eating grains is bad for our brains, other people have said the same thing. 

 

Wishing you all the best in your continued recovery💚

Edited by Carmie
Autocorrect

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RealMe

Just an update.  March 19th will be three months without antidepressants or any other medications except vitamins.  I'm feeling a full range of emotions and physical sensations, good and not so good.  I can't tell you how many MD's and therapists said I would have to be on psychiatric "medication" for the rest of my life.  I was on them for more than 20 years.  I found the information I needed to taper off them on this forum.  My advice to anyone trying to taper off anti-depressants is to do it gradually, slowly.  Stay the course.  It can be done.

Best wishes,

RM

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Gracee

Thank you for your inspiration.   

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RealMe
On 3/12/2019 at 12:13 AM, Gracee said:

Thank you for your inspiration.   

You are most welcome, Gracee.  I see by your signature that you are doing very well, nice and slow and easy.

xo RM

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Dejavu

Congratulations to you! You made it! Please update periodically and let those of us still struggling know how you're doing. How are you feeling now?

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Gracee
22 hours ago, RealMe said:

You are most welcome, Gracee.  I see by your signature that you are doing very well, nice and slow and easy.

xo RM

 

@RealMeThank you.

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Carmie

Thanks for the update  RealMe, 

 

I’m so glad you’ve been of the meds for three months now and aren’t doing too bad. So are your symptoms minimal now?

 

Sending hugs🤗

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RealMe
9 hours ago, Carmie said:

So are your symptoms minimal now?

 

Yes they are, Carmie.  All I have to do is think back, and I can see such a difference.  I may be "hypervigilant" (overly concerned about how I feel), but I think that's to be expected with my history and personality.  I do work hard on self-care.  I still have a lot of the same symptoms, but they are manageable, certainly nothing like what I experienced in withdrawal from ADs.

xo RM

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RealMe

Update.  This past week has been extremely difficult, sad, and stressful because one of my children is having delusions and hallucinations; and the doctor upped the body-ravaging medication.  I have done everything I can think of so that I don't become overwhelmed by her troubles and my sadness and helplessness.  I have been tempted to think that I am more depressed than a "normal" person would be under the same circumstances.  I have been trying to feel my feelings without thinking they're something more than what anyone else would experience.  I feel afraid, sad, stressed and a lot less hopeful than usual to put it mildly.  I'm hanging on and I don't intend to give up.  I'm crying a lot, and the noise in my head is ramped up.

Hope you are all having a not-so-difficult recovery.

xo RM

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wantrelief

Oh RM, I am so very sorry about what is happening with your daughter.  I think all of the feelings you are experiencing are completely normal given the circumstances.  It sounds like you are coping as best as you can.  I am thinking about you, RM.  

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RealMe
On 3/23/2019 at 12:55 AM, wantrelief said:

Oh RM, I am so very sorry about what is happening with your daughter.  I think all of the feelings you are experiencing are completely normal given the circumstances.  It sounds like you are coping as best as you can.  I am thinking about you, RM.  

Thank you, wantrelief.  Lately, I feel like I have in the long ago past.  I feel like I'm over-functioning and waiting for a depression crash.  The anxiety is building.  I want to do things differently, but I'm not sure how or what.

RM

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Gracee
44 minutes ago, RealMe said:

Thank you, wantrelief.  Lately, I feel like I have in the long ago past.  I feel like I'm over-functioning and waiting for a depression crash.  The anxiety is building.  I want to do things differently, but I'm not sure how or what.

RM

 

So sorry to hear your anxiety is building RealMe.   Feeling anxious is the one thing that I'm most afraid of in WD.    I hope you can take plenty of time each day to rest, and be quiet and just breath without distractions.    When the physical symptoms of anxiety start creeping up on me, I prescribe myself a therapeutic nap.   Sounds silly, but nap-therapy works.

Best wishes

G.

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RealMe

Update:  Using lots of methods to reduce anxiety - rest, exercise, meditation, talking to loved ones, keeping quiet, counting blessings, watching easy tv (nothing upsetting).  Doing ok.  Glad to be off ADs 3 1/2 months.

RM

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RealMe

I'm still kicking. And sometimes screaming.  Had a wave yesterday, and it reminded me of who I am.  I was feeling pretty normal, then all of a sudden the SO thoughts descended on me, and symptoms I always have suddenly seemed too much to cope with.  Thank goodness I was able to call to mind the waves concept.  I definitely can attest to the idea that waves feel like they have always been here and that they will last forever (read that on this site somewhere).  I am taking it very easy today, went to granddaughter's soccer game, now just vegging in front of tv, no judgment. Take care, fellow survivors.

xo RM

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RealMe

It has been almost six months since my last AD.  Since then, I have only taken fish oil, vitamins D, E and B.  I also took Tylenol on a few occasions for a total of 6 tablets in 6 months.  I want to report that I feel like I am living a normal life.  The best way I can describe it is that I feel healthy in mind and body.  The tinnitus remains, but I am learning to habituate.  The severe tremors disappeared, and the remaining tremors may just be symptoms of aging. The anhedonia, suicidal ideation, severe anxiety, oversleeping and fatigue are gone.  The symptoms gradually reduced till I can't remember when they disappeared.  I have no opinion on medications for anyone else; but after a lifetime of taking chemicals myself, I am so glad to be free of them.  This site helped me through withdrawals and prepared me for the possibility of future waves.  I haven't been off for a year, so I'm not writing my success story -- yet.  However, I do feel like a success. :)

 

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wantrelief

Oh this is such heartwarming news, RM!  I am so happy for you that you are living a normal life and feeling healthy in your mind and body.   💗WR.

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direstraits

this is fantastic!

so happy for you....gives us all hope!

xx

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Altostrata

Because you're feeling better, I added our cheerful "here comes the sun" symbol ☼ to the title of your Intro topic, to show you're recovering.

 

Please continue to let us know how you're doing. I hope you will add your story to our Recovery Success Stories eventually!

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RealMe
On 6/5/2019 at 2:57 PM, Altostrata said:

Because you're feeling better, I added our cheerful "here comes the sun" symbol ☼ to the title of your Intro topic, to show you're recovering.

 

Please continue to let us know how you're doing. I hope you will add your story to our Recovery Success Stories eventually!

Thank you for the "here comes the sun" symbol, another motivation for me to stay the AD-free course!  There are not enough ways to say thank-you to you and all the SA moderators for all the saving of lives going on here.  I certainly plan on staying in the SA loop and adding my story to your success page!

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ChessieCat

👍

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RealMe

Over the past couple of years while in wd, I avoided any meds.  I wouldn't even take a Tylenol or Advil.  I felt some sensitivity in my tooth, so I just made sure to chew on the other side, but over the weekend I developed severe pain and had to go to the dentist.  He said it was an infection in the bone under a tooth that had root canal a few years ago.  He did an apecoectomy (gross, but means cut away the gum, scraped out the infection, stitched it back up) and put me on amoxicillin, tylenol and advil.  The pain was excruciating, and I am still having pain though not as severe and have cut down the T&A pain relievers.  I naturally refused narcotic pain reliever due to my history.  I broke out in itchy hives all over my body, so he changed the antibiotic to clindamycin.  My emotional state has been negatively affected, to say the least.  I cannot wait to get off the antibiotic because it is definitely influencing the head trip I am on.

 

I searched this forum for effects of antibiotics on wd or mental state and came upon this discussion.  I don't know what to take away from it except that I need to endure the antibiotic so that the infection is cured and look forward to getting off it as soon as medically possible.

 

Any feedback would be appreciated.

 

Best,

RealMe

 

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RealMe
1 hour ago, Shep said:

@RealMe I moved your latest post out of Hennie's benzo thread and into your own thread since you're needing feedback on your own drugs. This will keep your history all in one place. 

 

Please see: 

 

Cipro, Levaquin, Azithromycin (Z-Pack), and other antibiotics

 

 

Thank you Shep.  I will go through the posts on antibiotics to see if I can find any info that enlightens my situation.

Best,

RM

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RealMe

I'm checking in because I haven't done so in quite a while.  It has been ten months off ADs for me, and I am so very grateful to have found this life-saving forum.  I haven't had a suicidal thought in many months.  My feelings seem appropriate to whatever is going on.  I have learned to be less judgmental about my thoughts; enjoying my life and my family; and being a lot more sociable with people than I used to be.  I take care of myself, except that I am still quite sedentary and need to get these bones and muscles moving more.  

 

I have been reading Full Catastrophe Living and learning about meditation; and I think it helps with tinnitus, pains, aches and anxiety.  I usually follow a fairly strict diet, excluding flour and sugar, and including lots of vegetables, fruits, a little protein and healthy fats; but I was lucky enough to go to Italy with my husband a month ago and ate lots of gelato, bread and pasta!  I enjoyed it so much (without guilt), and now I am back in my eating clean groove.  There is no way I could have gone on that trip last year, much less have a great time.

 

There are some serious problems going on, like everyone has; but I'm dealing with the stress normally.

 

When I think about all the years I was medicated, numbed, and pooped out and about the painful ordeal of withdrawal, I can hardly believe I escaped.  But I did, and you can too.  I would like to give you hope.  Just follow the directions on this forum.  Make cuts by 10% or less and go very, very slowly.  You will get there.

Best wishes,

RM

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wantrelief

Oh wow, RM.....I am so happy to read this update and to hear how well you are doing.  How wonderful you went to Italy with your husband!  I am really happy for you and your new life!!  It is helpful to hear that you have been dealing with the stress in your life normally as this is one of my big fears.  I feel like these drugs have messed up how I handle stress but won't know until I am off of them how it goes.  You give me hope that it will be ok.  💖

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