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☼ RealMe: fighting depression/withdrawal from Abilify, Trintellix now on Prozac


RealMe

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Although I spent the morning over-sleeping, the rest of the day thankfully felt like a window.  I went to the gym very briefly because I am afraid to ramp up tinnitus which seems to happen when I exercise.  That the exercise endorphins would heal my brain was a contrary idea that ultimately won out, but I kept the exercise to a very moderate 20 minutes on a slow treadmill followed by a gentle walk in the sunshine.

 

I want to feel proud of myself because I am only on fluoxetine 10mg after an onslaught of medications and withdrawal.  At the same time, I feel like I have such a long way to go because Fluoxetine 10 mg. is a boatload of AD to be on.  Always conflicted.

 

I have been trying to reach out to people instead of withdrawing and isolating.  I always feel like I'm play-acting or being dishonest with people when I'm not acting sad or talking about my symptoms, but it's easier on me anxiety-wise when I keep my feelings to myself.  People ask me how I am, and I say "doing well or ok."  A month ago, I was so obviously depressed, I couldn't hide it; so I withdrew.

Alcohol periodic excessive 1963-1976, Valium sporadic 1964-1973,  Imipramine off & on 1982-1985, Fluoxetine 10mg-80 mg. Oct., 1995-Jan., 2014; Cymbalta, other ADs 1/2014-3/2014; Abilify 5 mg. 3/2014 - 8/8/17; Trintellix 20 mg. 3/2014 - 9/2017; Propranolol 60-80 mg. sporadically Sept-Oct, 2017; Seroquel few days Sept 2017 (c/t); Wellbutrin 150 mg. Sept, 2017 updosed to 300 mg. few days till c/t Oct 8, 2017, fish oil, vitD, vitE Oct 16, 2017-pres. Lipoflavonoid 4/2017-pres.  Fluoxetine 10 mg. Sept-Oct 8, 2017, 20 mg. 10/9- 10/15; 10 mg. 10/16 - 12/29;  9 mg. 12/30 - 2/9; 2 mL liquid (8.1mg) 2/10 - 3/7; 1.8 mL (7.29 mg) 3/8 -3/20; 1.6 mL (6.561mg) 3/20-4/2; 1.4 mL (5.9 mg) 4/3-4/14; 1mL (4 mg.) 4/15-4/22; .9mL (3.6mg) 4/23-5/1; .81mL (3.24 mg) 5/2-5/24; .73mL (2.916mg.) 5/25-6/8; .65mL 6/9-6/23; .6mL 6/24-7/17; .58mL 7/18-7/28; .525mL 7/29-8/13; .5 mL 8/14-21; .45mL 8/22-31; .4mL 9/2-21; .35mL 9/22-10/4; .3mL 10/5-28; .25mL 10/28-11/10; .2mL 11/11-11/24; .18mL 11/25-12/3; .1mL 12/4-12/18. Zero-12/19/18-present.

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One of my symptoms I forgot to mention is feeling alternately hot and cold.  I'm beyond menopause, so that's not it.  At times I am so cold, I have to bundle up in sweaters and blankets, and suddenly I become hot and sweaty, throwing off the sweaters, blankets and wearing just t shirts and light clothes.  I don't see any triggers involved.  It just happens.  Once I went to hot yoga which I used to do years ago, and I became so hot I almost fainted and had to leave.  I couldn't do any poses, needless to say, but I was surprised that I couldn't even remain in the room.  Also, I recently read that the dull, foggy, depressed, lethargic, wanting to go back to sleep, feeling drugged sensations I feel in the morning may be related to dopamine--not that I have any idea what that would mean.  Any ideas of how to combat that?  I can't function before noon, no matter what time I go to bed at night.  I have no trouble falling asleep even when I don't get up till after 10 am.  Also, no desire whatsoever for physical contact.

Alcohol periodic excessive 1963-1976, Valium sporadic 1964-1973,  Imipramine off & on 1982-1985, Fluoxetine 10mg-80 mg. Oct., 1995-Jan., 2014; Cymbalta, other ADs 1/2014-3/2014; Abilify 5 mg. 3/2014 - 8/8/17; Trintellix 20 mg. 3/2014 - 9/2017; Propranolol 60-80 mg. sporadically Sept-Oct, 2017; Seroquel few days Sept 2017 (c/t); Wellbutrin 150 mg. Sept, 2017 updosed to 300 mg. few days till c/t Oct 8, 2017, fish oil, vitD, vitE Oct 16, 2017-pres. Lipoflavonoid 4/2017-pres.  Fluoxetine 10 mg. Sept-Oct 8, 2017, 20 mg. 10/9- 10/15; 10 mg. 10/16 - 12/29;  9 mg. 12/30 - 2/9; 2 mL liquid (8.1mg) 2/10 - 3/7; 1.8 mL (7.29 mg) 3/8 -3/20; 1.6 mL (6.561mg) 3/20-4/2; 1.4 mL (5.9 mg) 4/3-4/14; 1mL (4 mg.) 4/15-4/22; .9mL (3.6mg) 4/23-5/1; .81mL (3.24 mg) 5/2-5/24; .73mL (2.916mg.) 5/25-6/8; .65mL 6/9-6/23; .6mL 6/24-7/17; .58mL 7/18-7/28; .525mL 7/29-8/13; .5 mL 8/14-21; .45mL 8/22-31; .4mL 9/2-21; .35mL 9/22-10/4; .3mL 10/5-28; .25mL 10/28-11/10; .2mL 11/11-11/24; .18mL 11/25-12/3; .1mL 12/4-12/18. Zero-12/19/18-present.

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On 11/13/2017 at 9:15 PM, AliG said:

The really dark morning depression lifted for me after a few months and has never returned.

I don't know if I'm communicating properly.  I just keep adding to my intro but I don't get many responses.  Anyway, I was wondering if the lifting of the heavy dark morning depression lifted before or after you tapered?  I'm still on Fluoxetine 10 mg.  The other day I had a window, but it was followed by two awful wave days, including today.  My worst symptom is the tinnitus and the secondary fear I learned about from reading Claire Weekes' stuff.  I feel like I could cope if not for this.  It makes me feel like I'm not going to make it.

 

Alcohol periodic excessive 1963-1976, Valium sporadic 1964-1973,  Imipramine off & on 1982-1985, Fluoxetine 10mg-80 mg. Oct., 1995-Jan., 2014; Cymbalta, other ADs 1/2014-3/2014; Abilify 5 mg. 3/2014 - 8/8/17; Trintellix 20 mg. 3/2014 - 9/2017; Propranolol 60-80 mg. sporadically Sept-Oct, 2017; Seroquel few days Sept 2017 (c/t); Wellbutrin 150 mg. Sept, 2017 updosed to 300 mg. few days till c/t Oct 8, 2017, fish oil, vitD, vitE Oct 16, 2017-pres. Lipoflavonoid 4/2017-pres.  Fluoxetine 10 mg. Sept-Oct 8, 2017, 20 mg. 10/9- 10/15; 10 mg. 10/16 - 12/29;  9 mg. 12/30 - 2/9; 2 mL liquid (8.1mg) 2/10 - 3/7; 1.8 mL (7.29 mg) 3/8 -3/20; 1.6 mL (6.561mg) 3/20-4/2; 1.4 mL (5.9 mg) 4/3-4/14; 1mL (4 mg.) 4/15-4/22; .9mL (3.6mg) 4/23-5/1; .81mL (3.24 mg) 5/2-5/24; .73mL (2.916mg.) 5/25-6/8; .65mL 6/9-6/23; .6mL 6/24-7/17; .58mL 7/18-7/28; .525mL 7/29-8/13; .5 mL 8/14-21; .45mL 8/22-31; .4mL 9/2-21; .35mL 9/22-10/4; .3mL 10/5-28; .25mL 10/28-11/10; .2mL 11/11-11/24; .18mL 11/25-12/3; .1mL 12/4-12/18. Zero-12/19/18-present.

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Hello! I'm not one to give advice because I'm still trying to figure out myself and my many problems lol. Just wanted to say hi I'm fairly new here and I sometimes wonder the same thing if I'm posting correctly or does anyone even read these? But they do and one of the mods suggested talking and commenting on other people's posts and we can all help each other🌞I've talked to some very nice people and learned tons! Good luck with your journey🌞

Celexa 40mg on it for approximately14 months weaned off July 5, 2017

Ativan 0.5 mg as needed (2-3 times a week)

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Thank you, Boysmommy2.  It's good to have someone to talk to.  I started on this site in October, and I have learned quite a bit as well.  I'm having a rough time of it today, so I can't think of anything positive to share right now.

Alcohol periodic excessive 1963-1976, Valium sporadic 1964-1973,  Imipramine off & on 1982-1985, Fluoxetine 10mg-80 mg. Oct., 1995-Jan., 2014; Cymbalta, other ADs 1/2014-3/2014; Abilify 5 mg. 3/2014 - 8/8/17; Trintellix 20 mg. 3/2014 - 9/2017; Propranolol 60-80 mg. sporadically Sept-Oct, 2017; Seroquel few days Sept 2017 (c/t); Wellbutrin 150 mg. Sept, 2017 updosed to 300 mg. few days till c/t Oct 8, 2017, fish oil, vitD, vitE Oct 16, 2017-pres. Lipoflavonoid 4/2017-pres.  Fluoxetine 10 mg. Sept-Oct 8, 2017, 20 mg. 10/9- 10/15; 10 mg. 10/16 - 12/29;  9 mg. 12/30 - 2/9; 2 mL liquid (8.1mg) 2/10 - 3/7; 1.8 mL (7.29 mg) 3/8 -3/20; 1.6 mL (6.561mg) 3/20-4/2; 1.4 mL (5.9 mg) 4/3-4/14; 1mL (4 mg.) 4/15-4/22; .9mL (3.6mg) 4/23-5/1; .81mL (3.24 mg) 5/2-5/24; .73mL (2.916mg.) 5/25-6/8; .65mL 6/9-6/23; .6mL 6/24-7/17; .58mL 7/18-7/28; .525mL 7/29-8/13; .5 mL 8/14-21; .45mL 8/22-31; .4mL 9/2-21; .35mL 9/22-10/4; .3mL 10/5-28; .25mL 10/28-11/10; .2mL 11/11-11/24; .18mL 11/25-12/3; .1mL 12/4-12/18. Zero-12/19/18-present.

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  • Moderator Emeritus

Hi RealMe, sorry to hear that things aren't going well at the moment ... I can certainly relate.  It can be very challenging to stay positive when in the throes of withdrawal.  I have not experienced tinnitus but can imagine that it is a very difficult symptom to deal with and I wish I knew of something that could help.  It sounds like you and I are in a similar place as I'm going through a very difficult time right now and it is really hard to stay focused on anything positive ... but like battle weary soldiers, I think we both have to try and gather a bit of hope and hang onto it.  I also experience temperature deregulation and it looks like it is a common withdrawal symptom and like most symptoms, it tends to lessen as time goes by.  As well, I did experience low moods when I first started to taper, so low that I had to push myself to put one foot in front of the other for many many months until it did finally lift.  The only thing I can recommend with respect to the fear, is to try not to let it grab hold of you, push it away when necessary.  Believe me, I know it's difficult, I'm finding it very difficult at the moment to remain positive and keep up the hope that tomorrow will be a brighter day.  I thought I'd attach a few links that you might find helpful and hoping you feel better soon.  

Body Temperature Dysregulation / Fever / Chills / Shivering / Too Hot / Too Hold

"Change the channel" -- dealing with cognitive symptoms

Anhedonia / Apathy / Demotivation / Emotional Numbness

Neuro Emotions

Fear, terror, panic, and anxiety

 

 

Current Prescription Drugs for Hypothyroidism:  Synthroid 100mcg / Cytomel 5mcg (15 years Pristiq/Effexor)

Tapering Schedule
September 15, 2016 - switched from Pristiq 50mg to Effexor XR 75mg; November 10, 2016 - reduced to 67.5 Effexor XR
December 9, 2016 - reduced 60.75
January 5, 2017 - reduced 54.67
January 30, 2017 - reduced to 49.0
February 20, 2017 - reduced to 44.0 
May 20, 2017 - reduced to 40.25 (holding for additional month due to late onset of withdrawal symptoms after this taper)
July 17, 2017 - reduced to 38.24
August 15, 2017 - reduced to 37.5 (50% of my original dose)

October 15, 2017 - reduced to 35.6

November 12, 2017 - reduced to 33.8
December 15, 2017 - up-dose to 35.6
December 28, 2017 - up-dose to 37.5

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Thank you, Baroquep.  I read all the links you suggested.  I forgot to add one more withdrawal symptom to my list of complaints--the crying.  I don't suppose I cried in years until I withdrew from all those meds.  Now I'm like a sobbing, side-shaking faucet.  I have to hide from my husband because he is so worried about me.  I went to work today and used "change the channel" several times during the day, changing from fear and despondency to "puppies and kittens."  The students make me act like I've got a grip.  I don't act out when I'm working.  Everything I read about habituating to tinnitus says to not react emotionally to it.  I am trying.

Alcohol periodic excessive 1963-1976, Valium sporadic 1964-1973,  Imipramine off & on 1982-1985, Fluoxetine 10mg-80 mg. Oct., 1995-Jan., 2014; Cymbalta, other ADs 1/2014-3/2014; Abilify 5 mg. 3/2014 - 8/8/17; Trintellix 20 mg. 3/2014 - 9/2017; Propranolol 60-80 mg. sporadically Sept-Oct, 2017; Seroquel few days Sept 2017 (c/t); Wellbutrin 150 mg. Sept, 2017 updosed to 300 mg. few days till c/t Oct 8, 2017, fish oil, vitD, vitE Oct 16, 2017-pres. Lipoflavonoid 4/2017-pres.  Fluoxetine 10 mg. Sept-Oct 8, 2017, 20 mg. 10/9- 10/15; 10 mg. 10/16 - 12/29;  9 mg. 12/30 - 2/9; 2 mL liquid (8.1mg) 2/10 - 3/7; 1.8 mL (7.29 mg) 3/8 -3/20; 1.6 mL (6.561mg) 3/20-4/2; 1.4 mL (5.9 mg) 4/3-4/14; 1mL (4 mg.) 4/15-4/22; .9mL (3.6mg) 4/23-5/1; .81mL (3.24 mg) 5/2-5/24; .73mL (2.916mg.) 5/25-6/8; .65mL 6/9-6/23; .6mL 6/24-7/17; .58mL 7/18-7/28; .525mL 7/29-8/13; .5 mL 8/14-21; .45mL 8/22-31; .4mL 9/2-21; .35mL 9/22-10/4; .3mL 10/5-28; .25mL 10/28-11/10; .2mL 11/11-11/24; .18mL 11/25-12/3; .1mL 12/4-12/18. Zero-12/19/18-present.

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Has anyone tried acupuncture for symptom relief?  I'm thinking of it for tinnitus.  I'm not going to try anything without checking this site first.  Also wondering how much magnesium is advisable?

Alcohol periodic excessive 1963-1976, Valium sporadic 1964-1973,  Imipramine off & on 1982-1985, Fluoxetine 10mg-80 mg. Oct., 1995-Jan., 2014; Cymbalta, other ADs 1/2014-3/2014; Abilify 5 mg. 3/2014 - 8/8/17; Trintellix 20 mg. 3/2014 - 9/2017; Propranolol 60-80 mg. sporadically Sept-Oct, 2017; Seroquel few days Sept 2017 (c/t); Wellbutrin 150 mg. Sept, 2017 updosed to 300 mg. few days till c/t Oct 8, 2017, fish oil, vitD, vitE Oct 16, 2017-pres. Lipoflavonoid 4/2017-pres.  Fluoxetine 10 mg. Sept-Oct 8, 2017, 20 mg. 10/9- 10/15; 10 mg. 10/16 - 12/29;  9 mg. 12/30 - 2/9; 2 mL liquid (8.1mg) 2/10 - 3/7; 1.8 mL (7.29 mg) 3/8 -3/20; 1.6 mL (6.561mg) 3/20-4/2; 1.4 mL (5.9 mg) 4/3-4/14; 1mL (4 mg.) 4/15-4/22; .9mL (3.6mg) 4/23-5/1; .81mL (3.24 mg) 5/2-5/24; .73mL (2.916mg.) 5/25-6/8; .65mL 6/9-6/23; .6mL 6/24-7/17; .58mL 7/18-7/28; .525mL 7/29-8/13; .5 mL 8/14-21; .45mL 8/22-31; .4mL 9/2-21; .35mL 9/22-10/4; .3mL 10/5-28; .25mL 10/28-11/10; .2mL 11/11-11/24; .18mL 11/25-12/3; .1mL 12/4-12/18. Zero-12/19/18-present.

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I've tried it for akathisia and not sure if it helped. Surprisingly when the needles were in I was able to keep still. So there was some kind of momentary relief maybe just concentration that distracted. But like anything, I've heard of bad reactions.

Aug-Dec 2015 Prozac 20mg / Dec 2015-Feb 2016 Prozac 15mg / Feb 2016-May2016 Prozac 20mg

May 2016-June 2016 15mg

June 2016-August 2016 10mg

October 2016-January 2017 15mg, alternating agitation/akathisia sets in --> cold turkey

January 2017 Clonazepam .5mg 

February 2017 Clonazepam 1mg (for a week) then .5mg morning and .25mg evening for about a month. Came down to .25mg morning and evening. 

May 1, 2017 Clonazepam .25mg morning and .125mg evening. // May 20, 2017 Clonazepam .25mg morning and .0625 evening (.3125 total).

early June .28125 // early mid june .25mg // mid june .21875 // late june .1875 // early july .15625 // early mid july .125 

mid july .09375mg // late july .0625 //early August 2017 down to .03125mg once a day, hopped off in mid August

reinstated at .0625mg late August // Oct 16 - updose to .07mg and switch to oral Rosemont solution

Nov 17 2017 reinstate Prozac .5mg // Nov 21 2017 prozac 1.6mg // Dec 18 2017  3mg prozac / fast taper off the reinstatement -- probably completely off early Oct 2018

June 2019 begin tapering off .07mg Clonazepam, Finish taper December 2019

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Hi Realme

I tried accupuncture several weeks ago for anxiety. I felt so much worse right after the treatment and for a couple weeks after. It could have been the quack administering the treatment, though he was highly recommended by an acquaintance. But when I asked my GP about accupuncture, he said it often works just don’t go to dr.Xxxxxx.  Oops too late. Research the dr. 

  I have been taking magnesium citrate or malate for months. Today I switched to magnesium glycinate. I don’t know if it’s a coincidence but by this evening my anxiety was so much better than it has been in months. 

  And I cry. A lot! I can’t control it. It just pours like a faucet. Depression is just a WD symptom. I think these emotions have been stunted by meds for so long, they just start flooding out now that the gate is open. 

  Take care.     Lg

Lex  4.3mg,  3/2/18  Ativan ,5 mg,  lunesta 2 mg , toprol  25 mg                                                            

 

Oct 16-28 2018 C/O to 19 mg V from 1.5 mg Ativan, 1.3 mg lunesta 

jan 22 2019- 11 mg V

jan 23 - pneumonia, 2 AB’s. 

    Hold taper

july 5- 10.72 V

July 6- 11 mg V- ugly bad

july 11- 10.72 mg V, 4.3 lex, 

              25 mg toprol

 

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Hi RM. I haven't heard about acupuncture for tinnitus specifically but apparently it can be helpful generally for certain conditions. Some find it to be a useful therapy, as an adjunct to their healing modalities. There is a discussion on the topic linked below:

http://survivingantidepressants.org/topic/136-acupuncture/

 

Body temperature dysregulation is a withdrawal symptom;

http://survivingantidepressants.org/topic/2271-body-temperature-dysregulation

 

On 11/28/2017 at 9:47 AM, RealMe said:
On 11/14/2017 at 12:15 PM, AliG said:

The really dark morning depression lifted for me after a few months and has never returned.

I don't know if I'm communicating properly.  I just keep adding to my intro but I don't get many responses.  Anyway, I was wondering if the lifting of the heavy dark morning depression lifted before or after you tapered?  I'm still on Fluoxetine 10 mg.

 

To answer your question, I had very severe depression during some of the months after ~ cold turkey off my last antidepressant. This was before I found SA. I was never told by any of my doctors to taper. I also had SI as a result and would face dread/ depression each morning.

 

However, it was quite clearly a withdrawal symptom as I haven't experienced that level of depression since. That is not to say, that I haven't had extremely low moods or sadness over the course of withdrawal, but it feels completely different. Having experienced both, I know that one is a withdrawal symptom and the other is a normal reaction to life stressors, whether they are emotional or physical in origin. There is a difference.   

 

If you are careful and slow with your taper, you should be able to minimize the effects and hopefully this depression of yours will lift over time. It is a withdrawal symptom and therefore temporary.

 

Hang in there,

Ali

Edited by AliG
added link

Many SSRI's and SSNRI's over 20 years. Zoloft for 7 years followed by Effexor, Lexapro, Prozac, Cymbalta, Celexa, Pristiq, Valdoxan, Mianserin and more - on and off. No tapering. Cold turkey off Valdoxan - end of May 2014

 

                                                  Psych Drug - free since May 2014
.
         

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From what I read, I'm going to postpone acupuncture for a while.  The first thing I want to do is taper off this Fluoxetine 10 mg.  I feel like I can't begin to heal until I'm off everything, but I'm trying to be patient and make sure I am stable enough to begin tapering.

 

Another symptom I have is my reactions to people.  I love my sister, but she is very bubbly, and I can't seem to tolerate talking to her on the phone for more than a few minutes.  I don't want to hurt her or have her worry about me; but I just can't stand the upbeat chatter.  I'm glad she's happy.  I wish I had lived healthy the way she did and does.  Maybe that is why I have a hard time because her healthiness reminds me of my AD journey.

 

As far as my husband, I have not been able to be affectionate since I started detoxing in August.  He has been very supportive, even though he doesn't understand it the way people on this forum do.  It makes me feel guilty for not being more loving.  I've been irritable and short-tempered and withdrawn; but he's still here.  I know I am lucky.

 

 

Alcohol periodic excessive 1963-1976, Valium sporadic 1964-1973,  Imipramine off & on 1982-1985, Fluoxetine 10mg-80 mg. Oct., 1995-Jan., 2014; Cymbalta, other ADs 1/2014-3/2014; Abilify 5 mg. 3/2014 - 8/8/17; Trintellix 20 mg. 3/2014 - 9/2017; Propranolol 60-80 mg. sporadically Sept-Oct, 2017; Seroquel few days Sept 2017 (c/t); Wellbutrin 150 mg. Sept, 2017 updosed to 300 mg. few days till c/t Oct 8, 2017, fish oil, vitD, vitE Oct 16, 2017-pres. Lipoflavonoid 4/2017-pres.  Fluoxetine 10 mg. Sept-Oct 8, 2017, 20 mg. 10/9- 10/15; 10 mg. 10/16 - 12/29;  9 mg. 12/30 - 2/9; 2 mL liquid (8.1mg) 2/10 - 3/7; 1.8 mL (7.29 mg) 3/8 -3/20; 1.6 mL (6.561mg) 3/20-4/2; 1.4 mL (5.9 mg) 4/3-4/14; 1mL (4 mg.) 4/15-4/22; .9mL (3.6mg) 4/23-5/1; .81mL (3.24 mg) 5/2-5/24; .73mL (2.916mg.) 5/25-6/8; .65mL 6/9-6/23; .6mL 6/24-7/17; .58mL 7/18-7/28; .525mL 7/29-8/13; .5 mL 8/14-21; .45mL 8/22-31; .4mL 9/2-21; .35mL 9/22-10/4; .3mL 10/5-28; .25mL 10/28-11/10; .2mL 11/11-11/24; .18mL 11/25-12/3; .1mL 12/4-12/18. Zero-12/19/18-present.

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  • Moderator Emeritus
On 28/11/2017 at 10:47 AM, RealMe said:

Anyway, I was wondering if the lifting of the heavy dark morning depression lifted before or after you tapered?

 

I used to feel dread upon waking every morning.  It began to ease as my dose got lower.

 VIDEO:   Antidepressant Withdrawal Syndrome and its Management

 

MISSION ACCOMPLISHED:    (6 year taper)      0mg Pristiq      on 13th November 2021

Woohoo!!!  Finally off Pristiq    Post 0 updates start here

ADs since ~1992:  25+ years - 1 unknown, Prozac (muscle weakness), Zoloft; citalopram (pooped out) CTed (very sick for 2.5 wks a few months after); Pristiq:  50mg 2012, 100mg beg 2013 (Serotonin Toxicity)  Tapering from Oct 2015 - 13 Nov 2021   LAST DOSE 0.0025mg

My full tapering program     My Intro (goes to my tapering graph)    My website

PLEASE NOTE:  I am not a medical professional.  I provide information and make suggestions.  Please DO NOT TAG me - thank you.

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I have lost 4 pounds in the past month.  My weight is not really an important issue.  It's only noteworthy because my appetite has improved, and I have actually been eating more than I had been.  I don't know if this is related to WD. 

 

Today I had a window.  I didn't go back to bed; I made my bed.  I made chicken soup.  I went out and saw some friends at church briefly.  When they asked me how I was, I said I was doing ok.  I guess I had complained to more people than I realized, or my just being withdrawn and weird for so long made them realize I have problems.  I didn't cry or feel suicidal all day.  That is sure something to be grateful for.

 

I have been taking Fish Oil, Vitamin D and Magnesium.  Making sure to eat my vegetables. Yesterday I took a walk in the sunshine. I didn't exercise today, but hopefully tomorrow.  I keep distracting myself from the tinnitus as much as possible.  Today it didn't frighten or bother me as much as usual. Thank God.  Hope I keep on habituating.

 

I am getting so much help here.

Alcohol periodic excessive 1963-1976, Valium sporadic 1964-1973,  Imipramine off & on 1982-1985, Fluoxetine 10mg-80 mg. Oct., 1995-Jan., 2014; Cymbalta, other ADs 1/2014-3/2014; Abilify 5 mg. 3/2014 - 8/8/17; Trintellix 20 mg. 3/2014 - 9/2017; Propranolol 60-80 mg. sporadically Sept-Oct, 2017; Seroquel few days Sept 2017 (c/t); Wellbutrin 150 mg. Sept, 2017 updosed to 300 mg. few days till c/t Oct 8, 2017, fish oil, vitD, vitE Oct 16, 2017-pres. Lipoflavonoid 4/2017-pres.  Fluoxetine 10 mg. Sept-Oct 8, 2017, 20 mg. 10/9- 10/15; 10 mg. 10/16 - 12/29;  9 mg. 12/30 - 2/9; 2 mL liquid (8.1mg) 2/10 - 3/7; 1.8 mL (7.29 mg) 3/8 -3/20; 1.6 mL (6.561mg) 3/20-4/2; 1.4 mL (5.9 mg) 4/3-4/14; 1mL (4 mg.) 4/15-4/22; .9mL (3.6mg) 4/23-5/1; .81mL (3.24 mg) 5/2-5/24; .73mL (2.916mg.) 5/25-6/8; .65mL 6/9-6/23; .6mL 6/24-7/17; .58mL 7/18-7/28; .525mL 7/29-8/13; .5 mL 8/14-21; .45mL 8/22-31; .4mL 9/2-21; .35mL 9/22-10/4; .3mL 10/5-28; .25mL 10/28-11/10; .2mL 11/11-11/24; .18mL 11/25-12/3; .1mL 12/4-12/18. Zero-12/19/18-present.

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So great to hear, RM!! :)

 

-1/06 - 3/07 Cymbalta. Fast taper; withdrawal symptoms after 4 mos (didn't realize was WD)

-10/07: 100 mg Zoloft; 1 mg Klonopin - tapered off Klonopin
-Tried several times to slowly taper Zoloft by 10%, then 5% every 4-6 weeks; could never get below approx. 40 mg - spring 2012 experienced major WD symptoms due to stress; tried to updose but no relief, back on Klonopin 1 mg.
-Switched over 5-6 mos from Zoloft to Citalopram. Finished Zoloft 1/13; Citalopram 35 mg and 1 mg Klonopin.
-8/13: 27 mg Citalopram; 1 mg Klonopin

-11/14: 12.6 Citalopram - began to have bad withdrawal symptoms; out of desperation increased to 1.25 mg Klonopin at the beginning of December.  12/13/14 16 mg Citalopram - going to stay here to try to stabilize; stabilized on 16 mg Citalopram after 4-5 months

-7/15 - 3/16: reduced to 15 mg; ~ 2 months later w/d hit hard (probably r/t stress); 6/16 updosed to 20 mg Citalopram and trying to stabilize. Updosed to 1.5 Klonopin as well. Stabilized on 20 mg Citalopram after 4-5 months

8/17-9/17: feeling withdrawal symptoms at 20 mg Citalopram (due to stress) - slowly increased to 25 mg. No change in symptoms after 6 months (? tolerance ?)  - decided to start citalopram taper February 2018 (still on Klonopin 1.5 mg).

Supplements: fish oil; magnesium; vitamin D3; curcumin

Citalopram taper:  2/2018 - 12/2019: 25 mg - 11.03 mg I 2020: 10.89 mg - 7.9 mg I 2021: 7.8 mg - 5.26 mg

2022: 1/5/22: 5.2 mg (1.25%); 1/12/22: 5.1 mg (1.25%); 1/19/22: 5.07 mg (1.25%); 1/26/22: 5.0 mg (1.25%); 5/1/22: 4.9 mg (1.25%); 5/8/22: 4.88 mg; 5/15/22: 4.8 mg  (1.25%); 5/22/22: 4.76 mg (1.25%); 6/5/22: 4.7 mg (1.25%); 6/12/22: 4.6 mg (1.25%); 6/19/22: 4.58 mg (1.25%); 6/26/22: 4.5 mg; 7/10/22: 4.47 mg (1.25%); 7/17/22: 4.4 mg (1.25%); 7/24/22: 4.36 mg (1.25%); 7/31/22: 4.3 mg (1.25%)

 

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Hi realme

i am not sure if you missed it but i have responded to your message to me on my thread. Hope it helps. 

2006 After sudden death of mother put on 20mg of citaloprom for depression. 

2014 Drug stopped working after two weeks of panic attacks felt fine. 

Aug 2014. Doctor put me on lyrica for rash on face, diarrhoea, sleeplessness,muscle cramp, bruising. Initial dose too strong, halved dose.  Stopped taking it 22/10/14

2014 severe anxiety after several ssri's attempted, seem to have developed severe  sensitivity to any drug, but giving severe  reactions put on cipralex drop form.started on 2 drops and had to increase by 1 drop every 3 days. Eventually got to 12 drops and had to stop as side effects every step of the way dreadful. Psychiatrist kept telling me to stick with it and my body would get used to it.  Eventually down to 8 drops. Bad reactions throughout the time I was on it

Have been on this until may 2017. Stopped over two weeks. Felt fine for 5 weeks after initial dizziness, nightmares, nausea, insomnia.  

Given diazepam by gp and told to take them when anxiety bad. Have only taken them very rarely as they frighten me. 

Last two weeks severe anxiety returned and feeling hopeless 

11July 2017. Cipralex 2mg. Anxiety, nausea still severe

13 July 2017 Cipralex 1mg due to advice of too high dosage  by kind person on thus site. so dropped from 2mg to 1mg and feelings of anxiety still at severe. As well as nausea, headaches, fatigue. 

15 July still feeling extremely anxious verging on panic. Nausea, feelings of fainting, fatigue. Lots of head pains 

3 August. Three weeks into trying to stabilise on one drop of cipralex. Still have waking from 4am. Sporadic upset stomach. Nausea.  High anxiety.  Throbbing/burning in nether regions seems to have eased for time being but stabbing/burning in calves of legs. Tinnitus. Occasional half to whole better days but mainly still struggling. Fatigue   

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Thank you for the support, Scorpio.  It does help.  I virtually live for the feedback I get here on SA.  Some days that is all that keeps me going.  I like hearing about how you love your grandson.  I have 7 grandchildren from 16 to 6.  I miss cuddling my babies and getting pleasure from all of their activities!  It is hard to feel any pleasure.  Yesterday I had a window, and I am glad I learned that recovery is not linear because today is a bit of a setback though not as bad as it had been.  I find the tinnitus to be one of the most distressing symptoms, and I hope and pray I can habituate to it.  Everything I read says, ignore it and don't give it power, especially with an emotional response.  That's like saying, don't visualize a pink elephant; but I am trying.  I don't talk about it at all to anyone except here.  The few people I did tell keep asking me, so I tell them I'm ok.  I hope they will stop asking me.  Today is my 8 year old granddaughter's birthday, so that will force me to socialize.  That will help keep me from sitting and ruminating.  How are you feeling?  I wish you lots of windows!

 

Alcohol periodic excessive 1963-1976, Valium sporadic 1964-1973,  Imipramine off & on 1982-1985, Fluoxetine 10mg-80 mg. Oct., 1995-Jan., 2014; Cymbalta, other ADs 1/2014-3/2014; Abilify 5 mg. 3/2014 - 8/8/17; Trintellix 20 mg. 3/2014 - 9/2017; Propranolol 60-80 mg. sporadically Sept-Oct, 2017; Seroquel few days Sept 2017 (c/t); Wellbutrin 150 mg. Sept, 2017 updosed to 300 mg. few days till c/t Oct 8, 2017, fish oil, vitD, vitE Oct 16, 2017-pres. Lipoflavonoid 4/2017-pres.  Fluoxetine 10 mg. Sept-Oct 8, 2017, 20 mg. 10/9- 10/15; 10 mg. 10/16 - 12/29;  9 mg. 12/30 - 2/9; 2 mL liquid (8.1mg) 2/10 - 3/7; 1.8 mL (7.29 mg) 3/8 -3/20; 1.6 mL (6.561mg) 3/20-4/2; 1.4 mL (5.9 mg) 4/3-4/14; 1mL (4 mg.) 4/15-4/22; .9mL (3.6mg) 4/23-5/1; .81mL (3.24 mg) 5/2-5/24; .73mL (2.916mg.) 5/25-6/8; .65mL 6/9-6/23; .6mL 6/24-7/17; .58mL 7/18-7/28; .525mL 7/29-8/13; .5 mL 8/14-21; .45mL 8/22-31; .4mL 9/2-21; .35mL 9/22-10/4; .3mL 10/5-28; .25mL 10/28-11/10; .2mL 11/11-11/24; .18mL 11/25-12/3; .1mL 12/4-12/18. Zero-12/19/18-present.

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How was your granddaughter's birthday? How are you? I hope it went well.

Many SSRI's and SSNRI's over 20 years. Zoloft for 7 years followed by Effexor, Lexapro, Prozac, Cymbalta, Celexa, Pristiq, Valdoxan, Mianserin and more - on and off. No tapering. Cold turkey off Valdoxan - end of May 2014

 

                                                  Psych Drug - free since May 2014
.
         

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Hi AliG. 

Her birthday is today at 12:30. After air trampoline kids party 5 grandchildren, 2 adult children and their spouses are coming here. I ordered Italian food because I can't cook. Having something like this going on helps me not to think so much about my symptoms.  How are you, AliG?

Alcohol periodic excessive 1963-1976, Valium sporadic 1964-1973,  Imipramine off & on 1982-1985, Fluoxetine 10mg-80 mg. Oct., 1995-Jan., 2014; Cymbalta, other ADs 1/2014-3/2014; Abilify 5 mg. 3/2014 - 8/8/17; Trintellix 20 mg. 3/2014 - 9/2017; Propranolol 60-80 mg. sporadically Sept-Oct, 2017; Seroquel few days Sept 2017 (c/t); Wellbutrin 150 mg. Sept, 2017 updosed to 300 mg. few days till c/t Oct 8, 2017, fish oil, vitD, vitE Oct 16, 2017-pres. Lipoflavonoid 4/2017-pres.  Fluoxetine 10 mg. Sept-Oct 8, 2017, 20 mg. 10/9- 10/15; 10 mg. 10/16 - 12/29;  9 mg. 12/30 - 2/9; 2 mL liquid (8.1mg) 2/10 - 3/7; 1.8 mL (7.29 mg) 3/8 -3/20; 1.6 mL (6.561mg) 3/20-4/2; 1.4 mL (5.9 mg) 4/3-4/14; 1mL (4 mg.) 4/15-4/22; .9mL (3.6mg) 4/23-5/1; .81mL (3.24 mg) 5/2-5/24; .73mL (2.916mg.) 5/25-6/8; .65mL 6/9-6/23; .6mL 6/24-7/17; .58mL 7/18-7/28; .525mL 7/29-8/13; .5 mL 8/14-21; .45mL 8/22-31; .4mL 9/2-21; .35mL 9/22-10/4; .3mL 10/5-28; .25mL 10/28-11/10; .2mL 11/11-11/24; .18mL 11/25-12/3; .1mL 12/4-12/18. Zero-12/19/18-present.

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 It's Ali or Alison. I'm great, although I do have continual and ongoing "windows & waves". It is what it is!

Many SSRI's and SSNRI's over 20 years. Zoloft for 7 years followed by Effexor, Lexapro, Prozac, Cymbalta, Celexa, Pristiq, Valdoxan, Mianserin and more - on and off. No tapering. Cold turkey off Valdoxan - end of May 2014

 

                                                  Psych Drug - free since May 2014
.
         

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Hi realme

i hope you have a wonderful time with your granddaughter celebrating her birthday .  If anyone can pull us out of our misery it is the children. The tinnitus will get easier for you to bear I promise. What noises do you hear and yesterday when you were feeling a window did the noise lessen. The fact you felt better is so good and let’s you have hope you will have more good days. 

After todays hectic party maybe tomorrow you will find time to put your feet up and rest. 

2006 After sudden death of mother put on 20mg of citaloprom for depression. 

2014 Drug stopped working after two weeks of panic attacks felt fine. 

Aug 2014. Doctor put me on lyrica for rash on face, diarrhoea, sleeplessness,muscle cramp, bruising. Initial dose too strong, halved dose.  Stopped taking it 22/10/14

2014 severe anxiety after several ssri's attempted, seem to have developed severe  sensitivity to any drug, but giving severe  reactions put on cipralex drop form.started on 2 drops and had to increase by 1 drop every 3 days. Eventually got to 12 drops and had to stop as side effects every step of the way dreadful. Psychiatrist kept telling me to stick with it and my body would get used to it.  Eventually down to 8 drops. Bad reactions throughout the time I was on it

Have been on this until may 2017. Stopped over two weeks. Felt fine for 5 weeks after initial dizziness, nightmares, nausea, insomnia.  

Given diazepam by gp and told to take them when anxiety bad. Have only taken them very rarely as they frighten me. 

Last two weeks severe anxiety returned and feeling hopeless 

11July 2017. Cipralex 2mg. Anxiety, nausea still severe

13 July 2017 Cipralex 1mg due to advice of too high dosage  by kind person on thus site. so dropped from 2mg to 1mg and feelings of anxiety still at severe. As well as nausea, headaches, fatigue. 

15 July still feeling extremely anxious verging on panic. Nausea, feelings of fainting, fatigue. Lots of head pains 

3 August. Three weeks into trying to stabilise on one drop of cipralex. Still have waking from 4am. Sporadic upset stomach. Nausea.  High anxiety.  Throbbing/burning in nether regions seems to have eased for time being but stabbing/burning in calves of legs. Tinnitus. Occasional half to whole better days but mainly still struggling. Fatigue   

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Hi Scorpio,

Yesterday when I had the window, the noise did lessen.  It's a combination ringing and screeching.  At the party, there was a lot of noise, and the tinnitus didn't bother me.  My tremors were acting up, but not the T.  Now that I am home, the noise is ramped up.  I just keep telling myself not to be afraid.   I thank you for the words of hope.  Hope is what I am clinging to.  We just got back from church, and I will be putting out the dinner now.  How are you today?  

Alcohol periodic excessive 1963-1976, Valium sporadic 1964-1973,  Imipramine off & on 1982-1985, Fluoxetine 10mg-80 mg. Oct., 1995-Jan., 2014; Cymbalta, other ADs 1/2014-3/2014; Abilify 5 mg. 3/2014 - 8/8/17; Trintellix 20 mg. 3/2014 - 9/2017; Propranolol 60-80 mg. sporadically Sept-Oct, 2017; Seroquel few days Sept 2017 (c/t); Wellbutrin 150 mg. Sept, 2017 updosed to 300 mg. few days till c/t Oct 8, 2017, fish oil, vitD, vitE Oct 16, 2017-pres. Lipoflavonoid 4/2017-pres.  Fluoxetine 10 mg. Sept-Oct 8, 2017, 20 mg. 10/9- 10/15; 10 mg. 10/16 - 12/29;  9 mg. 12/30 - 2/9; 2 mL liquid (8.1mg) 2/10 - 3/7; 1.8 mL (7.29 mg) 3/8 -3/20; 1.6 mL (6.561mg) 3/20-4/2; 1.4 mL (5.9 mg) 4/3-4/14; 1mL (4 mg.) 4/15-4/22; .9mL (3.6mg) 4/23-5/1; .81mL (3.24 mg) 5/2-5/24; .73mL (2.916mg.) 5/25-6/8; .65mL 6/9-6/23; .6mL 6/24-7/17; .58mL 7/18-7/28; .525mL 7/29-8/13; .5 mL 8/14-21; .45mL 8/22-31; .4mL 9/2-21; .35mL 9/22-10/4; .3mL 10/5-28; .25mL 10/28-11/10; .2mL 11/11-11/24; .18mL 11/25-12/3; .1mL 12/4-12/18. Zero-12/19/18-present.

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2 hours ago, AliG said:

 It's Ali or Alison. I'm great, although I do have continual and ongoing "windows & waves". It is what it is!

Are the windows and waves better than they used to be?  I hope so.  I hope we get stronger to cope with the waves!  I didn't think I would ever see a window.  Today is a wave, but I remember yesterday and hope it will come again.  

Alcohol periodic excessive 1963-1976, Valium sporadic 1964-1973,  Imipramine off & on 1982-1985, Fluoxetine 10mg-80 mg. Oct., 1995-Jan., 2014; Cymbalta, other ADs 1/2014-3/2014; Abilify 5 mg. 3/2014 - 8/8/17; Trintellix 20 mg. 3/2014 - 9/2017; Propranolol 60-80 mg. sporadically Sept-Oct, 2017; Seroquel few days Sept 2017 (c/t); Wellbutrin 150 mg. Sept, 2017 updosed to 300 mg. few days till c/t Oct 8, 2017, fish oil, vitD, vitE Oct 16, 2017-pres. Lipoflavonoid 4/2017-pres.  Fluoxetine 10 mg. Sept-Oct 8, 2017, 20 mg. 10/9- 10/15; 10 mg. 10/16 - 12/29;  9 mg. 12/30 - 2/9; 2 mL liquid (8.1mg) 2/10 - 3/7; 1.8 mL (7.29 mg) 3/8 -3/20; 1.6 mL (6.561mg) 3/20-4/2; 1.4 mL (5.9 mg) 4/3-4/14; 1mL (4 mg.) 4/15-4/22; .9mL (3.6mg) 4/23-5/1; .81mL (3.24 mg) 5/2-5/24; .73mL (2.916mg.) 5/25-6/8; .65mL 6/9-6/23; .6mL 6/24-7/17; .58mL 7/18-7/28; .525mL 7/29-8/13; .5 mL 8/14-21; .45mL 8/22-31; .4mL 9/2-21; .35mL 9/22-10/4; .3mL 10/5-28; .25mL 10/28-11/10; .2mL 11/11-11/24; .18mL 11/25-12/3; .1mL 12/4-12/18. Zero-12/19/18-present.

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Yesterday was really bad. Today was still a wave, but better than yesterday. No crying. I took a short walk. Appetite is getting bigger. I think that is the fluoxetine.

 

My doctor wouldn't renew the prescription without my coming in to see him, and I am almost out of fluoxetine; so I made an appointment for next week which I intend to cancel after I pick up my prescription.  I just don't have the whatever it would take to deal with him.  He didn't help my depression, and I went through holy hell withdrawals because he didn't think it would be a problem for me to stop taking what I was on.  He told me to stop taking Abilify because of dystonia and tremors.  He then prescribed meds that I believe caused tinnitus.  Anyway, I'm stabilizing on fluoxetine 10 mg. and intend to slowly taper.  I have no desire to discuss my plans with him because he called my withdrawal symptoms "depression."  I hope and pray I will be able to be drug free some day.  I am not militant to the point where I want to fight big pharma or the psychiatric community, but I am certainly convinced that I am ultimately responsible for what goes into my body and brain.  Nobody is holding my hand when I'm in withdrawals or coping with side effects.  This irritability is unusual for me and is probably healthier than medicated numbness and submissiveness.  I don't want to discourage anyone from working with their medical provider.  I am speaking strictly for myself.

 

Alcohol periodic excessive 1963-1976, Valium sporadic 1964-1973,  Imipramine off & on 1982-1985, Fluoxetine 10mg-80 mg. Oct., 1995-Jan., 2014; Cymbalta, other ADs 1/2014-3/2014; Abilify 5 mg. 3/2014 - 8/8/17; Trintellix 20 mg. 3/2014 - 9/2017; Propranolol 60-80 mg. sporadically Sept-Oct, 2017; Seroquel few days Sept 2017 (c/t); Wellbutrin 150 mg. Sept, 2017 updosed to 300 mg. few days till c/t Oct 8, 2017, fish oil, vitD, vitE Oct 16, 2017-pres. Lipoflavonoid 4/2017-pres.  Fluoxetine 10 mg. Sept-Oct 8, 2017, 20 mg. 10/9- 10/15; 10 mg. 10/16 - 12/29;  9 mg. 12/30 - 2/9; 2 mL liquid (8.1mg) 2/10 - 3/7; 1.8 mL (7.29 mg) 3/8 -3/20; 1.6 mL (6.561mg) 3/20-4/2; 1.4 mL (5.9 mg) 4/3-4/14; 1mL (4 mg.) 4/15-4/22; .9mL (3.6mg) 4/23-5/1; .81mL (3.24 mg) 5/2-5/24; .73mL (2.916mg.) 5/25-6/8; .65mL 6/9-6/23; .6mL 6/24-7/17; .58mL 7/18-7/28; .525mL 7/29-8/13; .5 mL 8/14-21; .45mL 8/22-31; .4mL 9/2-21; .35mL 9/22-10/4; .3mL 10/5-28; .25mL 10/28-11/10; .2mL 11/11-11/24; .18mL 11/25-12/3; .1mL 12/4-12/18. Zero-12/19/18-present.

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Yesterday was very emotional funeral. I consider him the lucky one.

Preoccupied with grief and spiked tinnitus. Oversleeping to escape. Dystonia still a problem. Tremors in hands and also feel internal tremors. Alternately hot and cold. Increased appetite. Itchy scalp. No pleasure. Improved concentration in the afternoon; actually read a book, Glenmullen's Antidepressant Solution.

 

Questions:  Why does Glenmullen say Prozac can be tapered from 20mg. to 0?  Does SA disagree with Glenmullen that Prozac is an exception to the rule of not skipping doses on alternate days?

Alcohol periodic excessive 1963-1976, Valium sporadic 1964-1973,  Imipramine off & on 1982-1985, Fluoxetine 10mg-80 mg. Oct., 1995-Jan., 2014; Cymbalta, other ADs 1/2014-3/2014; Abilify 5 mg. 3/2014 - 8/8/17; Trintellix 20 mg. 3/2014 - 9/2017; Propranolol 60-80 mg. sporadically Sept-Oct, 2017; Seroquel few days Sept 2017 (c/t); Wellbutrin 150 mg. Sept, 2017 updosed to 300 mg. few days till c/t Oct 8, 2017, fish oil, vitD, vitE Oct 16, 2017-pres. Lipoflavonoid 4/2017-pres.  Fluoxetine 10 mg. Sept-Oct 8, 2017, 20 mg. 10/9- 10/15; 10 mg. 10/16 - 12/29;  9 mg. 12/30 - 2/9; 2 mL liquid (8.1mg) 2/10 - 3/7; 1.8 mL (7.29 mg) 3/8 -3/20; 1.6 mL (6.561mg) 3/20-4/2; 1.4 mL (5.9 mg) 4/3-4/14; 1mL (4 mg.) 4/15-4/22; .9mL (3.6mg) 4/23-5/1; .81mL (3.24 mg) 5/2-5/24; .73mL (2.916mg.) 5/25-6/8; .65mL 6/9-6/23; .6mL 6/24-7/17; .58mL 7/18-7/28; .525mL 7/29-8/13; .5 mL 8/14-21; .45mL 8/22-31; .4mL 9/2-21; .35mL 9/22-10/4; .3mL 10/5-28; .25mL 10/28-11/10; .2mL 11/11-11/24; .18mL 11/25-12/3; .1mL 12/4-12/18. Zero-12/19/18-present.

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Hey Realme,

 

I don't think that I've posted on your thread before, but I've been reading it. I just wanted to say that I hope you're feeling better today, it sound like yesterday was really difficult. Did the sleeping help? How was the glenmullen book overall? Hopefully a mod will be by to help you with the Prozac question. 

 

Take care,

Marmot 

2004: Clonazepam and Celexa. 2005 - 2006: Effexor, then increased to high dose, then switched to Valproate and Seroquel. 2007: Wellbutrin + Strattera + Celexa. 2007 - 2008: Wellbutrin + Adderall + Paxil. 2008 - 2012: Wellbutrin + occasional SSRIs when I had worsened "depression", which happened around 4 times, usually after CT of WB. 2012 - 2014: WB + Sertraline, then WB + Pristiq (awful W/D) then WB + rTMS, then ketamine. 2014 - 2016: Wellbutrin 200 mg + Abilify 4 mg + Adderall 20-40 mg + Cipralex 20 mg. Oct 2016: "Tapered" Cipralex, felt outrageously anxious, irritable. Dec 2016: "Tapered" Adderall, then felt depressed, hopeless, fatigued.  Feb 6 2017: reinstated 20 mg Adderall. Mar 2017: switched to Vyvanse, upped to 30 mg. May - Aug 2017: "Tapered" Vyvanse + Abilify to zero. Oct 25, 2017: Wellbutrin from 200 to 100 mg. Sep 10, 2018:  Wellbutrin from 90 to 60 mg. Oct 29, 2018: WB from 60 to 50 mg. Dec 19, 2018: WB from 50 to 45 mg. Apr 15, 2019: WB 41 mg. May 14, 2019: WB 37 mg. Jun 8, 2019: WB 33 mg. Jul 22: WB 30 mg, then down by around 10% per month. Aug 2020: 0

 

Working hard to take my life back. Anything I say here is as a friend or peer supporter; it is not medical advice.

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Hi Marmot,

Thanks for responding. I escape-overslept again today. Feeling a little better than yesterday now. I guess I am lucky that I can sleep.  I read that others have trouble with insomnia.  I don't have that, just a dread of waking up in the morning.  I usually can concentrate better in the late afternoon.

 

The Glenmullen book just validates so much of what I have experienced and what I have learned on this forum as well as provides helpful ideas for recovery from ADs.  I have trouble not fixating on all the wasted years on mind/brain/emotion  numbing drugs because I didn't know about withdrawal syndrome or tapering safely and neither did my medical providers.  I have had 4 psychiatrists, 3 therapists, and 1 gp in my long psychiatric history.  I got started down this road with valium for panic attacks when I was only 19, then imipramine (tofranil) for depression and anxiety.  I managed to get off those for a while, then in a family crisis I accepted Prozac, which was fairly new at the time, from a gp.  Over the years, nobody ever suggested I stop taking it.  They just kept upping the dose until I maxed out at 80mg.  I was taking it long after it pooped out.  

 

When my brother died and I retired from teaching, I was experiencing intense grief and Prozac 80mg was not helping (why would it?), so my gp referred me to my current psychiatrist.  I was prescribed a few different ADs until Trintellix and Abilify which I stayed on for about 2 and a half years until tremors surfaced.  The psychiatrist told me to just stop Abilify, then a quick taper off Trintellix, followed by a series of meds until my current fluoxetine 10mg. which I asked for.  Until I found this forum, I believed I would be on medication for a "chemical imbalance" for the rest of my life.  Even my current therapist espouses that.  I'm going to see if she will work with me, or I will find another therapist.  I postponed my appointments with her as well as with my doctors in light of my recent withdrawal syndrome as well as changed beliefs about myself and ADs.

 

I am struggling with tinnitus, tremors, dystonia, ruminating, death wish, anxiety, over-sleeping, lack of energy or pleasure, crying, irritability, feeling alternately very hot and cold, lack of interest in hygiene.  In spite of these symptoms, I feel like I have improved compared to where I was a short time ago.  I have hope when I read entries on this forum that I might be able to recover from neuro emotions and habituate to some of the physical symptoms like tremors and tinnitus.

 

 

 

Alcohol periodic excessive 1963-1976, Valium sporadic 1964-1973,  Imipramine off & on 1982-1985, Fluoxetine 10mg-80 mg. Oct., 1995-Jan., 2014; Cymbalta, other ADs 1/2014-3/2014; Abilify 5 mg. 3/2014 - 8/8/17; Trintellix 20 mg. 3/2014 - 9/2017; Propranolol 60-80 mg. sporadically Sept-Oct, 2017; Seroquel few days Sept 2017 (c/t); Wellbutrin 150 mg. Sept, 2017 updosed to 300 mg. few days till c/t Oct 8, 2017, fish oil, vitD, vitE Oct 16, 2017-pres. Lipoflavonoid 4/2017-pres.  Fluoxetine 10 mg. Sept-Oct 8, 2017, 20 mg. 10/9- 10/15; 10 mg. 10/16 - 12/29;  9 mg. 12/30 - 2/9; 2 mL liquid (8.1mg) 2/10 - 3/7; 1.8 mL (7.29 mg) 3/8 -3/20; 1.6 mL (6.561mg) 3/20-4/2; 1.4 mL (5.9 mg) 4/3-4/14; 1mL (4 mg.) 4/15-4/22; .9mL (3.6mg) 4/23-5/1; .81mL (3.24 mg) 5/2-5/24; .73mL (2.916mg.) 5/25-6/8; .65mL 6/9-6/23; .6mL 6/24-7/17; .58mL 7/18-7/28; .525mL 7/29-8/13; .5 mL 8/14-21; .45mL 8/22-31; .4mL 9/2-21; .35mL 9/22-10/4; .3mL 10/5-28; .25mL 10/28-11/10; .2mL 11/11-11/24; .18mL 11/25-12/3; .1mL 12/4-12/18. Zero-12/19/18-present.

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Ya, neither over-sleeping or under-sleeping feels all that great. I like to justify my own over-sleeping to myself as 'giving my brain a chance to heal' but I don't actually know if it works that way, lol. 

 

I just looked up the Glenmullen book, it seems neat. I see why you're asking about the fluoxetine, 20 to 0 is a big drop, still hoping the mods will see this and have an answer for you. Oh, the wasted years issue - when did your views about yourself and ADs start to change? What was the catalyst?

 

I'm so sorry to hear that the grief of your brother's death led to this complicated medical situation. Did you end up getting real-life help with the grieving?

2004: Clonazepam and Celexa. 2005 - 2006: Effexor, then increased to high dose, then switched to Valproate and Seroquel. 2007: Wellbutrin + Strattera + Celexa. 2007 - 2008: Wellbutrin + Adderall + Paxil. 2008 - 2012: Wellbutrin + occasional SSRIs when I had worsened "depression", which happened around 4 times, usually after CT of WB. 2012 - 2014: WB + Sertraline, then WB + Pristiq (awful W/D) then WB + rTMS, then ketamine. 2014 - 2016: Wellbutrin 200 mg + Abilify 4 mg + Adderall 20-40 mg + Cipralex 20 mg. Oct 2016: "Tapered" Cipralex, felt outrageously anxious, irritable. Dec 2016: "Tapered" Adderall, then felt depressed, hopeless, fatigued.  Feb 6 2017: reinstated 20 mg Adderall. Mar 2017: switched to Vyvanse, upped to 30 mg. May - Aug 2017: "Tapered" Vyvanse + Abilify to zero. Oct 25, 2017: Wellbutrin from 200 to 100 mg. Sep 10, 2018:  Wellbutrin from 90 to 60 mg. Oct 29, 2018: WB from 60 to 50 mg. Dec 19, 2018: WB from 50 to 45 mg. Apr 15, 2019: WB 41 mg. May 14, 2019: WB 37 mg. Jun 8, 2019: WB 33 mg. Jul 22: WB 30 mg, then down by around 10% per month. Aug 2020: 0

 

Working hard to take my life back. Anything I say here is as a friend or peer supporter; it is not medical advice.

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13 minutes ago, Marmot said:

 

Ya, neither over-sleeping or under-sleeping feels all that great. I like to justify my own over-sleeping to myself as 'giving my brain a chance to heal' but I don't actually know if it works that way, lol. 

 

I just looked up the Glenmullen book, it seems neat. I see why you're asking about the fluoxetine, 20 to 0 is a big drop, still hoping the mods will see this and have an answer for you. Oh, the wasted years issue - when did your views about yourself and ADs start to change? What was the catalyst?

 

I'm so sorry to hear that the grief of your brother's death led to this complicated medical situation. Did you end up getting real-life help with the grieving?

 

 

Boy, that last question brought me up short.  I do have two sisters, and we did share our feelings about him quite a bit.  I went to therapy, but the focus was always on my depressed affect and behavior and of course complying with the psychiatrist and medication.  I had for a long time bought into the idea that I had a chemical imbalance and would need medication for the rest of my life.

 

The catalyst that changed me--I can remember the exact moment--occurred during a phone call with the psychiatrist when I was in hellish withdrawals from the anti-psychotic Abilify which had been prescribed as an AD augmentation for "medication resistant major depressive disorder."  He then prescribed Seroquel because of my symptoms.  The therapist also encouraged me to take that as well.  I took it for 3 or 4 days, was little more than a zombie, and told him that.  He said, "we'll get you through this depression."  I said, "isn't Seroquel also an anti-psychotic?  I'm not psychotic."  He said, "I know you're not."  I didn't know where I was going or how, but I knew from that moment he couldn't help me and that I was responsible for myself.  

 

Nevertheless, I did take the next medications he prescribed with more hellish effects.  Then I asked him to put me on Prozac which is what I was on 2 1/2 years ago before the Abilify/Trintellix combo.  I said, maybe it will work again since I have been off of it for some time.  I probably got the idea from googling.  Around October I found SA.  Although I had already dangerously withdrawn from several drugs, I was advised by the moderators to stabilize on the last one, prozac 10 mg.  So that is what I am doing.

 

I ruminate about the first psychiatrist who gave me Valium for panic attacks when I was away from home at college for the first time and got dropped by a boyfriend.  And about the psychiatrist who gave me Tofranil for depression when I couldn't cope with three little children, a cranky husband, and a stressful job with a bunch of misogynists.  And later the gp who gave me prozac when my daughter was assaulted in her teens.  When each of these life situations changed, I think I might have gotten drug free with the right help.  But I know now that I need to face reality and keep learning.  You know the character Harvey from Suits?  He says, "when your back is against the wall, break down the g-d damn wall!"

 

 

 

 

Alcohol periodic excessive 1963-1976, Valium sporadic 1964-1973,  Imipramine off & on 1982-1985, Fluoxetine 10mg-80 mg. Oct., 1995-Jan., 2014; Cymbalta, other ADs 1/2014-3/2014; Abilify 5 mg. 3/2014 - 8/8/17; Trintellix 20 mg. 3/2014 - 9/2017; Propranolol 60-80 mg. sporadically Sept-Oct, 2017; Seroquel few days Sept 2017 (c/t); Wellbutrin 150 mg. Sept, 2017 updosed to 300 mg. few days till c/t Oct 8, 2017, fish oil, vitD, vitE Oct 16, 2017-pres. Lipoflavonoid 4/2017-pres.  Fluoxetine 10 mg. Sept-Oct 8, 2017, 20 mg. 10/9- 10/15; 10 mg. 10/16 - 12/29;  9 mg. 12/30 - 2/9; 2 mL liquid (8.1mg) 2/10 - 3/7; 1.8 mL (7.29 mg) 3/8 -3/20; 1.6 mL (6.561mg) 3/20-4/2; 1.4 mL (5.9 mg) 4/3-4/14; 1mL (4 mg.) 4/15-4/22; .9mL (3.6mg) 4/23-5/1; .81mL (3.24 mg) 5/2-5/24; .73mL (2.916mg.) 5/25-6/8; .65mL 6/9-6/23; .6mL 6/24-7/17; .58mL 7/18-7/28; .525mL 7/29-8/13; .5 mL 8/14-21; .45mL 8/22-31; .4mL 9/2-21; .35mL 9/22-10/4; .3mL 10/5-28; .25mL 10/28-11/10; .2mL 11/11-11/24; .18mL 11/25-12/3; .1mL 12/4-12/18. Zero-12/19/18-present.

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19 hours ago, RealMe said:

Boy, that last question brought me up short.

 

I didn't mean to surprise you with that question! It's really great that you had your sisters to talk to. I asked because I'm wondering if part of staying off meds could be figuring out how to make peace with the stuff that led us to them in the first place. I don't know for sure, but I'm gradually starting to untangle the original problems leading to my first depression many years ago. Lol, I wish that I had done it back then. I don't think that we can blame ourselves though for accepting pills which we were told could take us out of the darkness, especially seeing the big challenges you were facing at the time. I've never seen suits, but I'll look up Harvey; I like that quote :)

 

2004: Clonazepam and Celexa. 2005 - 2006: Effexor, then increased to high dose, then switched to Valproate and Seroquel. 2007: Wellbutrin + Strattera + Celexa. 2007 - 2008: Wellbutrin + Adderall + Paxil. 2008 - 2012: Wellbutrin + occasional SSRIs when I had worsened "depression", which happened around 4 times, usually after CT of WB. 2012 - 2014: WB + Sertraline, then WB + Pristiq (awful W/D) then WB + rTMS, then ketamine. 2014 - 2016: Wellbutrin 200 mg + Abilify 4 mg + Adderall 20-40 mg + Cipralex 20 mg. Oct 2016: "Tapered" Cipralex, felt outrageously anxious, irritable. Dec 2016: "Tapered" Adderall, then felt depressed, hopeless, fatigued.  Feb 6 2017: reinstated 20 mg Adderall. Mar 2017: switched to Vyvanse, upped to 30 mg. May - Aug 2017: "Tapered" Vyvanse + Abilify to zero. Oct 25, 2017: Wellbutrin from 200 to 100 mg. Sep 10, 2018:  Wellbutrin from 90 to 60 mg. Oct 29, 2018: WB from 60 to 50 mg. Dec 19, 2018: WB from 50 to 45 mg. Apr 15, 2019: WB 41 mg. May 14, 2019: WB 37 mg. Jun 8, 2019: WB 33 mg. Jul 22: WB 30 mg, then down by around 10% per month. Aug 2020: 0

 

Working hard to take my life back. Anything I say here is as a friend or peer supporter; it is not medical advice.

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19 hours ago, RealMe said:

I had for a long time bought into the idea that I had a chemical imbalance and would need medication for the rest of my life.

 

What's your opinion on that now? 

2004: Clonazepam and Celexa. 2005 - 2006: Effexor, then increased to high dose, then switched to Valproate and Seroquel. 2007: Wellbutrin + Strattera + Celexa. 2007 - 2008: Wellbutrin + Adderall + Paxil. 2008 - 2012: Wellbutrin + occasional SSRIs when I had worsened "depression", which happened around 4 times, usually after CT of WB. 2012 - 2014: WB + Sertraline, then WB + Pristiq (awful W/D) then WB + rTMS, then ketamine. 2014 - 2016: Wellbutrin 200 mg + Abilify 4 mg + Adderall 20-40 mg + Cipralex 20 mg. Oct 2016: "Tapered" Cipralex, felt outrageously anxious, irritable. Dec 2016: "Tapered" Adderall, then felt depressed, hopeless, fatigued.  Feb 6 2017: reinstated 20 mg Adderall. Mar 2017: switched to Vyvanse, upped to 30 mg. May - Aug 2017: "Tapered" Vyvanse + Abilify to zero. Oct 25, 2017: Wellbutrin from 200 to 100 mg. Sep 10, 2018:  Wellbutrin from 90 to 60 mg. Oct 29, 2018: WB from 60 to 50 mg. Dec 19, 2018: WB from 50 to 45 mg. Apr 15, 2019: WB 41 mg. May 14, 2019: WB 37 mg. Jun 8, 2019: WB 33 mg. Jul 22: WB 30 mg, then down by around 10% per month. Aug 2020: 0

 

Working hard to take my life back. Anything I say here is as a friend or peer supporter; it is not medical advice.

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55 minutes ago, Marmot said:

 

What's your opinion on that now? 

 

Your question about getting help with the grief over my brother's death just emphasizes for me that I didn't go to the source of my depressive symptoms before going to the meds.

I do think that untangling the problems that cause us distress is better than medication.   Instead of trying to fish out all the bodies downriver, we could try and find out why and where they were all jumping in the river in the first place.

 

My opinion about having a chemical imbalance that requires lifelong medication?  I now believe that was untrue when I was first diagnosed; however, I worry that because of years of drug use, it might now be true.  I just hope and pray I can taper off psychotropic medication and live a normal, albeit overly sensitive and emotional, life.  My sister says that she remembers when we were children that I always "over-reacted" to things.

 

 

 

 

 

Alcohol periodic excessive 1963-1976, Valium sporadic 1964-1973,  Imipramine off & on 1982-1985, Fluoxetine 10mg-80 mg. Oct., 1995-Jan., 2014; Cymbalta, other ADs 1/2014-3/2014; Abilify 5 mg. 3/2014 - 8/8/17; Trintellix 20 mg. 3/2014 - 9/2017; Propranolol 60-80 mg. sporadically Sept-Oct, 2017; Seroquel few days Sept 2017 (c/t); Wellbutrin 150 mg. Sept, 2017 updosed to 300 mg. few days till c/t Oct 8, 2017, fish oil, vitD, vitE Oct 16, 2017-pres. Lipoflavonoid 4/2017-pres.  Fluoxetine 10 mg. Sept-Oct 8, 2017, 20 mg. 10/9- 10/15; 10 mg. 10/16 - 12/29;  9 mg. 12/30 - 2/9; 2 mL liquid (8.1mg) 2/10 - 3/7; 1.8 mL (7.29 mg) 3/8 -3/20; 1.6 mL (6.561mg) 3/20-4/2; 1.4 mL (5.9 mg) 4/3-4/14; 1mL (4 mg.) 4/15-4/22; .9mL (3.6mg) 4/23-5/1; .81mL (3.24 mg) 5/2-5/24; .73mL (2.916mg.) 5/25-6/8; .65mL 6/9-6/23; .6mL 6/24-7/17; .58mL 7/18-7/28; .525mL 7/29-8/13; .5 mL 8/14-21; .45mL 8/22-31; .4mL 9/2-21; .35mL 9/22-10/4; .3mL 10/5-28; .25mL 10/28-11/10; .2mL 11/11-11/24; .18mL 11/25-12/3; .1mL 12/4-12/18. Zero-12/19/18-present.

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Still suffering morning depression, though not as bad as it was when I first got here.  I wake up with such dread and can't really function till around noon when it starts to lift.  I feel groggy, heavy, and hopeless.  Then I was able to eat, get dressed, make my bed, and go to the gym.  I then went shopping.  I used to enjoy Christmas shopping, but at least I did it.  I got a little bit of pleasure from it.  Two of my granddaughters are here for the night.  I gave them a quickie dinner and played games with them.  Now they are asleep.  I made my husband's dinner (a sandwich) and ate my dinner standing up (cold meatloaf).  I am trying to ignore the tinnitus, trying not to think negatively about it.  It's the worst.  I surf this forum for helpful ideas about recovery from cns impairment.

Alcohol periodic excessive 1963-1976, Valium sporadic 1964-1973,  Imipramine off & on 1982-1985, Fluoxetine 10mg-80 mg. Oct., 1995-Jan., 2014; Cymbalta, other ADs 1/2014-3/2014; Abilify 5 mg. 3/2014 - 8/8/17; Trintellix 20 mg. 3/2014 - 9/2017; Propranolol 60-80 mg. sporadically Sept-Oct, 2017; Seroquel few days Sept 2017 (c/t); Wellbutrin 150 mg. Sept, 2017 updosed to 300 mg. few days till c/t Oct 8, 2017, fish oil, vitD, vitE Oct 16, 2017-pres. Lipoflavonoid 4/2017-pres.  Fluoxetine 10 mg. Sept-Oct 8, 2017, 20 mg. 10/9- 10/15; 10 mg. 10/16 - 12/29;  9 mg. 12/30 - 2/9; 2 mL liquid (8.1mg) 2/10 - 3/7; 1.8 mL (7.29 mg) 3/8 -3/20; 1.6 mL (6.561mg) 3/20-4/2; 1.4 mL (5.9 mg) 4/3-4/14; 1mL (4 mg.) 4/15-4/22; .9mL (3.6mg) 4/23-5/1; .81mL (3.24 mg) 5/2-5/24; .73mL (2.916mg.) 5/25-6/8; .65mL 6/9-6/23; .6mL 6/24-7/17; .58mL 7/18-7/28; .525mL 7/29-8/13; .5 mL 8/14-21; .45mL 8/22-31; .4mL 9/2-21; .35mL 9/22-10/4; .3mL 10/5-28; .25mL 10/28-11/10; .2mL 11/11-11/24; .18mL 11/25-12/3; .1mL 12/4-12/18. Zero-12/19/18-present.

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On 08/12/2017 at 7:43 PM, RealMe said:

 I now believe that was untrue when I was first diagnosed; however, I worry that because of years of drug use, it might now be true.

 

I worry this too sometimes, but then I think that the only way to give it a good chance is to believe for now that it will get better. I'd rather be wrong and know that I gave it my all. So for the time being, this quote gives me strength:

 

"Whether you think you can, or you think you can't, you're right" - Henry Ford 

 

That being said, don't let this thinking bring you down if time goes by and you're really really convinced that you can't! It's a quote, not science, lol.

2004: Clonazepam and Celexa. 2005 - 2006: Effexor, then increased to high dose, then switched to Valproate and Seroquel. 2007: Wellbutrin + Strattera + Celexa. 2007 - 2008: Wellbutrin + Adderall + Paxil. 2008 - 2012: Wellbutrin + occasional SSRIs when I had worsened "depression", which happened around 4 times, usually after CT of WB. 2012 - 2014: WB + Sertraline, then WB + Pristiq (awful W/D) then WB + rTMS, then ketamine. 2014 - 2016: Wellbutrin 200 mg + Abilify 4 mg + Adderall 20-40 mg + Cipralex 20 mg. Oct 2016: "Tapered" Cipralex, felt outrageously anxious, irritable. Dec 2016: "Tapered" Adderall, then felt depressed, hopeless, fatigued.  Feb 6 2017: reinstated 20 mg Adderall. Mar 2017: switched to Vyvanse, upped to 30 mg. May - Aug 2017: "Tapered" Vyvanse + Abilify to zero. Oct 25, 2017: Wellbutrin from 200 to 100 mg. Sep 10, 2018:  Wellbutrin from 90 to 60 mg. Oct 29, 2018: WB from 60 to 50 mg. Dec 19, 2018: WB from 50 to 45 mg. Apr 15, 2019: WB 41 mg. May 14, 2019: WB 37 mg. Jun 8, 2019: WB 33 mg. Jul 22: WB 30 mg, then down by around 10% per month. Aug 2020: 0

 

Working hard to take my life back. Anything I say here is as a friend or peer supporter; it is not medical advice.

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29 minutes ago, RealMe said:

I wake up with such dread and can't really function till around noon when it starts to lift.  I feel groggy, heavy, and hopeless.  Then I was able to eat, get dressed, make my bed, and go to the gym.  I then went shopping.

 

Great work getting going. It's never too late in the day to turn things around. I was super cranky today until around 6pm, moving slowly and upset with my partner over little things, now finally turning it around too.

 

I hope that your tinnitus becomes more bearable. :wacko:

2004: Clonazepam and Celexa. 2005 - 2006: Effexor, then increased to high dose, then switched to Valproate and Seroquel. 2007: Wellbutrin + Strattera + Celexa. 2007 - 2008: Wellbutrin + Adderall + Paxil. 2008 - 2012: Wellbutrin + occasional SSRIs when I had worsened "depression", which happened around 4 times, usually after CT of WB. 2012 - 2014: WB + Sertraline, then WB + Pristiq (awful W/D) then WB + rTMS, then ketamine. 2014 - 2016: Wellbutrin 200 mg + Abilify 4 mg + Adderall 20-40 mg + Cipralex 20 mg. Oct 2016: "Tapered" Cipralex, felt outrageously anxious, irritable. Dec 2016: "Tapered" Adderall, then felt depressed, hopeless, fatigued.  Feb 6 2017: reinstated 20 mg Adderall. Mar 2017: switched to Vyvanse, upped to 30 mg. May - Aug 2017: "Tapered" Vyvanse + Abilify to zero. Oct 25, 2017: Wellbutrin from 200 to 100 mg. Sep 10, 2018:  Wellbutrin from 90 to 60 mg. Oct 29, 2018: WB from 60 to 50 mg. Dec 19, 2018: WB from 50 to 45 mg. Apr 15, 2019: WB 41 mg. May 14, 2019: WB 37 mg. Jun 8, 2019: WB 33 mg. Jul 22: WB 30 mg, then down by around 10% per month. Aug 2020: 0

 

Working hard to take my life back. Anything I say here is as a friend or peer supporter; it is not medical advice.

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Hi Marmot,  how are you travelling?  Just letting you know I'm thinking of you.  It's like being stuck in friggin quick sand! K

  • Citalopram 20mg - 40mg ~ approx 2010 - October 2015 (stopped over one week)
  • Parnate  20mg - 50mg and olazapine 5mg ~ Jan 2016 - May 2016 (ceased over 2 days) 
  • Lithium 450mg-900 mg and Thyroxin ~May 2016 - May 2017
  • Diazepam various doses (including PRN) ~ 2015 - 2017
  • Oxazepam various doses (including PRN) ~ May 2016 - June 2016
  • Lurasidone 20mg ~Mid May 2016 - Mid June 2016
  • Vortioxetine 10mg - 20mg ~ 6th June 2016 - 20th July 2016 (abruptly ceased)
  • Amitriptyline 200mg ~July 2016 - September 2016 (ceased over 1 week)
  • Nortriptyline  (dose ?) ~October 2016 ~ November 2016 (abruptly ceased)
  • Seroquel XR 100mg - 300mg ~ May 2016 - August 2017 (ceased over 3 weeks)
  • Escitalopram 10mg - 30mg ~ August 2016 - March 2017 (ceased over 2 weeks)
  • Bupropion 300mg ~ December 2016 - May 2017 (ceased over 1 week)
  • Clonazepam 1.5mg daily ~ July 2016 (started tapering May 2017 - September 2017 currently on 0.375mg..ie 0.125mg TDS) 27th May 2018 5% 0.357mg (possible paradoxical reaction - see benzo thread)  28th June 5% 0.337mg, 28th July 10% 0.303mg, 12th September10% 0.272mg, 18th September reinstated 10% due to intolerable WD 0.303mg, 1st October-11th Oct 10% (1% reduction over 10 days) 0.272mg, 22nd October clonazepam ceased crossed over 10mg diazepam
  •  Dexamphatamine 20mg ~ December 2016 (started tapering October 2017 - tapered 1.25mg 4th Dec 2017, 1.25mg 19th Dec 2017 6.25mg, Speed up decrease due to major interaction between Dex and fluoxetine- ref to thread 10% 17th Feb 2018 5.63mg, 10% 21st Feb 2018 5.1mg, 10% 26th Feb 2018 4.5mg 10% 28th Feb 4.1mg, 10% 1st March 3.7mg, 10% 5th March 3.3mg, 10% 8th March 3mg, 10% 10th March 2.7mg, 10% 12th March 2.4mg, 10% 14th March 2.16mg, 10% 16th March 1.94mg, 10% 18th March 1.74mg, 10% 20th March 1.57mg, 10% 21st March 1.41mg, 10% 22nd March 1.26mg, 10% 23rd March 1.13mg, 10% 24th March 1.01mg, 10% 25th March 0.9mg, 10% 27th March 0.81mg, 10% 29th March 0.73mg, 10% 31st March 0.66mg, 10% 2nd April 0.59mg , 10% 4th April 0.53mg, 10% 6th April 0.47mg, 10% 8th April 0.42mg, 10%10th April 0.37mg, 11th April 0.2mg, 12th April 0.1mg (last dose) OFF! 
  • Fluoxetine 40mg ~December 2016 - 31 Jan 2018 reduced to 20mg (probable serotonin toxicity) 10th March 2020 10mg, 7th April 9mg, 1st May 8.5mg, 15th May 8.0mg, 27th May 7.5mg, 8th Sept 7.2mg, 2nd Oct 7mg, 19th Oct 6.8mg, 28th Oct 6.6mg, 5th Nov 6.4mg, 26th Nov 6mg, 2nd April 2021 5.9mg, 9th April 5.8mg, 19th April 5.75mg, 22nd April 5.7mg, 26th April 5.65mg,28th April 5.6mg, 1st May 5.5mg, 4th May 5.45mg, 7th May 5.4mg, 10th May 5.35mg, 12th May 5.3mg, 15th May 5.25mg, 18th May 5.2mg, 20th May 5.15mg, 22nd May 5mg, 10th July 4.5mg, 9th Aug 4.48mg (switched from syringe to pipette method), 12th Aug 4.46mg, 14th Aug 4.4mg, 18th Aug 4.38mg, 19th Aug 4.36mg, 20th Aug 4.34, 21st 4.32mg, 22nd 4.3mg, 23rd Aug 4mg (hold), (micro-taper) 12th Oct 2021 3.98mg, 14th Oct 3.96mg, 15th Oct 3.94mg, 16th Oct 3.92mg, 17th Oct 3.9mg, 18th Oct 3.88mg, 19th Oct 3.86mg, 21st Oct 3.84mg, 22nd Oct 3.82mg, 23rd Oct 3.8mg, 24th Oct 3.78mg, 25th Oct 3.76mg, 26th Oct 3.74mg, 27th Oct 3.72mg, (WD reached intolerable level, reinstated 0.06mg) 28th Oct 3.8mg, 7th March 2022 3.7mg, 21st March 3.6mg, 4th April 3.5mg, 18th April 3.4mg, 2nd May 3.3mg, 16th May 3.2mg, 20th June 3.1mg, 4th July 3mg, 18th July 2.9mg
  • Diazepam 10mg ~ 22nd Oct 2018, 10th November 8mg, 14th Nov 7mg, 8th December 6mg, 30th December 5mg (Nocte), 7th March 2019 4.5mg,14th March 4mg, 5th April 3.5mg, 9th April 3mg, 18th April 2.5mg,1st May 2mg, 17th May 1.75mg, 25th May 1.6mg, 4th June 1.59mg, 5th June 1.58mg, 6th June 1.57mg, 7th June 1.56mg, 8th June 1.55mg, 22nd June 1.4mg, 4th July 1.2mg, 16th July 1mg, 30th July 0.8mg, 13th Aug 0.6mg, 28th Aug 0.4mg, 10th Sept 0.2mg, 23rd Sept Off! 
  • SR Circadin 2mg (melatonin) 25th May - 20th June 
  • Zolpidem 10mg 25th May (7 tablets)
  • Supplements: Magnesium glycinate (soluble - sip throughout the day) 

 

"Whenever you feel yourself doubting how far you can go,  just remember how far you have come.  Remember everything you have faced, all the battles you have won, and all the fears you have overcome"    Unknown 

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  • ChessieCat changed the title to RealMe: fighting depression/withdrawal from Abilify, Trintellix now on Prozac
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