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WackoSirJacko: Paroxetine can be messy

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Carmie
15 hours ago, WackoSirJacko said:

It has indeed, thankyou

 

Anxiety is actually relatively easy to get rid of if you have the right mindset. Accept, don't believe the negative thoughts and just ride it through with no expectations of it to go. Then it calms down over a few days I find. Although I do get SAD a bit, my paranoia about it was fuelled by the crash making it a far bigger issue than it actually is. I've done some CBT on what's good about Winter and I'm almost looking forward to it now.

 

So glad to hear that your anxiety has subsided a bit WackoSirJacko, 

 

Im glad you’re looking forward to winter now. I really love all seasons, there are blessings in all of them. It is spring here now n I’m looking forward to allthe beautiful flowers. It actually rained today, love hearing the sound of rain, we haven’t been getting all that much. 

 

Im glad you’ve got lots of coping strategies to help your anxiety. You’re doing amazing, keep up the good work!

 

Sending hugs🤗

 

 

 

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WackoSirJacko
9 hours ago, Carmie said:

 

So glad to hear that your anxiety has subsided a bit WackoSirJacko, 

 

Im glad you’re looking forward to winter now. I really love all seasons, there are blessings in all of them. It is spring here now n I’m looking forward to allthe beautiful flowers. It actually rained today, love hearing the sound of rain, we haven’t been getting all that much. 

 

Im glad you’ve got lots of coping strategies to help your anxiety. You’re doing amazing, keep up the good work!

 

Sending hugs🤗

 

 

 

Cheers Carmie, hope you have a good Summer!

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WackoSirJacko

Update: 11/9/18

 

Low mood and anxiety resurfacing after an uplift, after a crash.

 

I think this is maybe my disinhibited brain reacting to the stress of winter coming. The reduction from 45 to 25 has been relatively smooth, but now my brain has to heal from that big chunk of tapering. It's healed during summer with low stress, plenty of golf and good times. My history has always been affected by SAD. But I've always adjusted after the initial onset. I think your brain naturally adjusts seasonally, but with withdrawal, the adjustment is obviously going to be more pronounced, it makes sense. Just going to carry on moving forward, one step at a time and let my healing continue.

 

Symptoms are palpitations, increased anxiety, shaky, low mood (not depression), fuzzy heavy pressured brain feeling, lowered concentration.

 

Onwards and upwards. Any experience stories of similar are of course very much welcomed.

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WackoSirJacko

Wednesday 25th September - Stopping smoking again from this afternoon. See how this goes then haha

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WackoSirJacko

One week in, no massive cravings but the withdrawal from all those cigarette chems has kicked in. Just like a big taper drop. Vile

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WackoSirJacko

Help, 

I went from cigarettes to vape beginning October then quit vape 4 weeks ago. 

 

I just started vaping again as deep depression started. Think it has a lot to do with short days as well. I'm really depressed. Need some motivation and inspiration. This is pure hell.

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DaveB

 

1 hour ago, WackoSirJacko said:

Help, 

I went from cigarettes to vape beginning October then quit vape 4 weeks ago. 

 

I just started vaping again as deep depression started. Think it has a lot to do with short days as well. I'm really depressed. Need some motivation and inspiration. This is pure hell.

 

 

Sorry man, hopefully the vaping helps! Probably just this time of year, it will get better as you get used to it! 

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WackoSirJacko
10 hours ago, ChessieCat said:

Have you had your Vitamin D levels checked?

 

This is also an option:  Light boxes for depression and sleep disorders

No but I take Vit D and have a sad lamp. I'm just a bit stupid for trying to wean off cigarettes at the most stressful time of the year. Had a panic attack last night and hardly slept. I'm not in a good state to be honest.

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WackoSirJacko

Help please, needing support

 

I was doing so well. This year I've gone from 40mg to 25mg managing symptoms quite well. In August I crashed after missing part of a dose and drinking, but got back on my feet and transitioned from smoking to vaping. Then tried to give up vaping a month ago, got depression and started vaping again. Now I'm in a spin, I'm stressed, anxious, wanting to cry, bad sleep, doubting myself and scared stiff of what lies ahead. I was proud of my progress but now I'm in a state thinking if I'm like this at 25mg how am I going to possibly get to zero? 

 

Factors to consider are the stress of the smoking/vaping effort

Winter always hits me hard

 

I'm just not in a position of acceptance at the moment, I'm fighting it and I'm reluctant to accept I think. I'm constantly reading this forum which is a sign I'm not accepting, I'm looking for more answers till I'm satisfied I can move forward.

 

So my questions are, if someone can please help

 

- Is this normal to have a wave even so high up still? 

- Is it likely it's all just catching up on me and I'll come out of this wave?

- I haven't progressed since July, that deeply disturbs me I think, maybe a tiny taper would get me back into the drive forward again.

- DO people go through tough waves at high levels and then still get lower?

 

I just feel I'm stuck in a rut and need to get out of this loop or hole I've got myself into. My rational thoughts have started to break and fear and doubt is creeping in.

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ChessieCat
8 hours ago, WackoSirJacko said:

fear and doubt is creeping in

 

I think this is part of it.

 

8 hours ago, WackoSirJacko said:

if I'm like this at 25mg how am I going to possibly get to zero? 

 

You can only take one day a time.  Investigate Non-drug techniques to cope

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Cruizer

Hi mate. It sounds like you are in a bad wave which has surprised you a bit and your back doubting things. I have been there many a time. 

How you describe searching for answers until you are satisfied and can move forward is exactly what I have done in the past. What ends up happening is you begin reading about other peoples struggles and this makes you feel worse; or you can't find what your after and this makes you feel worse. I read a comment that alto posted in success stories once which said something along the lines of people are searching for a success story that replicates their situation. I.e. they're looking for their own future success story. Everyone is different but similar in the way that by going slow enough and given time things will improve. That's what I hold onto. I copy the good information I get on here or other research onto a word document to refer back to. This helps me from falling into the trap of googling symptoms etc. and getting stuck and spiraling. 

In terms of waves on high doses, I crashed when I was at 60mg. I thought at the time i would be there forever but yet here i am at 17mg today. Many people say on here the lower you get the harder it can be. Be proud of how far you have come and understand/accept that this will be a long process. Steady as she goes. This wave will end, they always do

 

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WackoSirJacko
34 minutes ago, Cruizer said:

Hi mate. It sounds like you are in a bad wave which has surprised you a bit and your back doubting things. I have been there many a time. 

How you describe searching for answers until you are satisfied and can move forward is exactly what I have done in the past. What ends up happening is you begin reading about other peoples struggles and this makes you feel worse; or you can't find what your after and this makes you feel worse. I read a comment that alto posted in success stories once which said something along the lines of people are searching for a success story that replicates their situation. I.e. they're looking for their own future success story. Everyone is different but similar in the way that by going slow enough and given time things will improve. That's what I hold onto. I copy the good information I get on here or other research onto a word document to refer back to. This helps me from falling into the trap of googling symptoms etc. and getting stuck and spiraling. 

In terms of waves on high doses, I crashed when I was at 60mg. I thought at the time i would be there forever but yet here i am at 17mg today. Many people say on here the lower you get the harder it can be. Be proud of how far you have come and understand/accept that this will be a long process. Steady as she goes. This wave will end, they always do

 

Damn straight Cruizer!

They hit you like a brick. I'm slightly better today, started to accept it and the negative thoughts are lesser with my positivity growing. The anxiety has windows today. F#ck it! Onwards and upwards.

Thanks for this pal, much appreciated.

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Cheeky

Hey WSJ,

I'm happy your feeling better today. Waves and windows they say ....

 

Cheeky 

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WackoSirJacko

@ChessieCat @Altostrata @LexAnger

 

I'm not in a good place right now. I'm normally positive, can normally handle intense anxiety and depression. Since Last week though I've been going downhill. I've got a new symptom I'm calling headfire anxiety. Its like a huge panic attack that fires my brain up. Its different. I think it could be more raw, fresher, like it's firing every neuron in my head off. It subsides a little at night but not like anxiety before. I've been able to turn off previous anxiety with acceptance and sticking 2 fingers up at it - then winning. But with this it can lower and I'll sleep a tiny bit better, and wake with anxiety, force positive thoughts and think I'm ok, but then the panic headfire waves hit. So powerful.

Maybe it's from stopping and starting smoking again. Like my brain adapted to not smoking upregulated receptors and when I started again Saturday it's over firing them. 

I don't know, maybe it's what I've released from this year's tapering and the anxiety has changed because my brain has less protection (down 45 to 25). My last massive anxiety wave was a crash in August 4 weeks after I dropped to 25. That was relatively easy to get rid of and didn't have these intense brain fire panic attacks. I can even have positive thoughts and mantras but it's wiping me out this. Like being alert X 200

 

 

Advice? Actions? Thoughts? Please and thank you.

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Altostrata

What's your drug schedule now? Have you accidentally skipped any doses? Taken them at a different time?

 

When did you start smoking again?

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WackoSirJacko
5 hours ago, Altostrata said:

What's your drug schedule now? Have you accidentally skipped any doses? Taken them at a different time?

 

When did you start smoking again?

I take 20mg in the morning and 5mg at tea time

I started smoking again late 2017 after 10 years of quitting when I was on 45mg and struggling with depression and high anxiety. Then found this site and found hope and managed to find techniques to cope and then started a taper. I then went from cigarettes to vape in April this year which was hard but doable.

I went from 27.5 to 25 end July which I felt was a hard drop, stabilzed but crashed end August. I started smoking again with the crash. I managed to pull out of that in 2 weeks and after 5 weeks was stable and went from cigarettes to vape again. Then end October I quit the vape which was hard and gave me nicotine flu. My sleep deteriorated. Then depression which hit hard so last weekend I started the vape again, then this week I've been going downhill with crying spells and starting to smoke Tuesday. This week the anxiety was different like more brain based than cortisol and adrenaline. My thoughts were negative this week but Thursday I forced the positive thoughts and did my 'i don't care, stick my fingers up at it' mantra and got some positive thoughts and clung onto a positive thought of golf in summer. I thought I was on the up but that positive thought just started a massive fire of this new anxiety, like a panic attack wave through my body that didn't pass.

The feeling of this is the same as when I was 18 and originally went on these meds. I had taken drugs in a club and was overcome with this rush throughout my body. I was left with this all over body anxiety fire for a week before I went to the hospital and doctor that got me onto paxil.

All I can think of is system shock? 

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