PrivatePyle: introduction

[PrivatePyle]

In 2014, I was diagnosed with major depressive disorder. I tried Lexapro, Zoloft, and Effexor XR. None of them gave me any benefit whatsoever. I didn't feel any better for a single day. Yet, when I went off them I felt crummy. I went from sleeping 8 hours per night to 6. My appetite increased and it became harder to keep weight off. Two years later I decided that this problem was with me for life so I may as well return to an SSRI with the hopes of returning to normal. In October 2016, my CPN advised me to try Wellbutrin. The Wellbutrin was the first thing that had any affect on me. I had more energy, but also more anxiety. I then asked if I could go back to the Lexapro or Zoloft. She was not warm to that idea because I had clearly told her that they did absolutely nothing. We compromised. She said that Prozac was what usually gets the results for her patients. She asked if I wanted 10mg or 20mg. In my naivety, I thought, "Well these pills don't do much for me so let's start with 20mg." I had an anxiety attack within hours of taking the first pill. After taking the third pill, I couldn't take anymore and quit. This was December 2, 2016. The anxiety lasted for a couple weeks, and when it stopped I felt worse than ever and still do. I could just kick myself for taking this poison. Everyday, I wish I could go back. I never would have went back to the CPN if I knew that in 3-6 years there likely was light at the end of the tunnel.

 

I feel that what makes me different from other people on this site is that I never received any pleasure or positive effect whatsoever from SSRIs. I was not even on them that long. My impression was that the way drugs work is that you get pleasure now, but are taxed later. There is no free lunch. I accepted and understood that going in. However, in my case, I am still paying for a lunch I never got. For that reason, I don't like to refer to this as withdrawal, but as brain damage. It would have been better if they prescribed me cocaine. That's how awful these drugs are.

 

Today, I manage my misery with St. John's Wort. It does help. I removed gluten and casein from my diet and that also helps. Other than that, I am suicidal basket case on a daily basis.

[Gridley]

Hello, PrivatePyle and welcome to survivingantidepressants.org.

 

What are your current symptoms?

 

 It would be helpful if you could summarize your history in a signature - all drugs, dates, doses as well as discontinuations and reinstatements, particularly in the last 12-24 months.  Please indicate whether you tapered the drug (and if so at what rate) or quit cold turkey.

• Please leave out symptoms and diagnoses.
• A list is easier to understand than one or multiple paragraphs. 

• Any drugs prior to 24 months ago can just be listed with start and stop years.
• Please use actual dates or approximate dates (mid-June, Late October) rather than relative time frames (last week, 3 months ago)
• Spell out months, e.g. "October" or "Oct."; 9/1/2016 can be interpreted as Jan. 9, 2016 or Sept. 1, 2016.
• Link to Account Settings – Create or Edit a signature.

 

You are not alone.  Many, many members have gotten no benefit from the drugs they've been prescribed, yet are being forced to "pay the piper" in terms of withdrawal.  All pain, no gain is unfortunately an all-too-common occurrence.

 

Regarding St. John's wort, this link is informative::

 http://survivingantidepressants.org/index.php?/topic/652-st-johns-wort-hypericum-perforatum/?hl=%2Bjohns+%2Bwort

Here are some additional links for your information:

Dr Joseph Glenmullen's WD Symptoms Checklist

 

Windows and Waves Pattern of Stabilization

 

Brain Remodelling

Video:  Healing From Antidepressants - Patterns of Recovery

 

How do you talk to a doctor about tapering and withdrawal?

What should I expect from my doctor about withdrawal symptoms?

 

Edited November 22, 2017 by Gridley

[nz11]

PP any update.

Would be excellent if you could do the drug sig that Gridley requested

[PrivatePyle]

I heard of a nootropic called Dihexa on Longecity and was impressed by what I heard. It acts similarly to BDNF, but 10 million times stronger. I know that sounds like hyperbole, but this is coming from people that know what they're talking about. NSI-189 takes a month to begin working and regrows brain cells. Where as, Dihexa begins working immediately and reconnects brain cells, which is what we are more in need of. It's growth effect is so potent that some people have suggested it could be cancerous. However, the studies done with rats show no indication of that so I figured that I'd take my chances.

 

In January 2018, I purchased 500 mg for $60. I consumed 50-100 mg orally every 2 or 3 days. They say that is way too much, since Dihexa has a half life of 12.68 days, but I have suffered for so long I was extremely eager and willing to take risks. About two weeks in, I started having headaches. A few days later I felt a huge improvement in happiness and mental strength. I was able to ween my self off the 900 mg of St. John's Wort I had been taking for over a year. Before, I was too miserable and weak to get off of it. I was so excited. I figured I found the magic bullet cure and ordered 2000 mg more. However, I have not made any progress since.

 

There is a thread on this website about the benefits of psychedelic mushrooms and someone said that our fragile and damaged brains cannot be helped by being slammed with a hard drug. To that person, I would insist that I have found an exception to that rule. I most certainly have benefited from Dihexa and would recommend trying it for anyone with our ailment. 

 

Edited April 3, 2018 by Altostrata
approved post

[Altostrata]

3 hours ago, PrivatePyle said:

I most certainly have benefited from Dihexa and would recommend trying it for anyone with our ailment. 

 

Welcome, PrivatePyle. What do you think "our ailment" is?

[PrivatePyle]

18 hours ago, Altostrata said:

 

Welcome, PrivatePyle. What do you think "our ailment" is?

Tardive Dysphoria is the name given to SSRI induced depression. Isn't that what we suffer from? Isn't that what this website is about? I didn't mean to be offensive with that. I'm in the same boat as you guys.

[Altostrata]

We don't call anything tardive dysphoria, that's a term used in journal articles, where physicians communicate with other physicians by creating stereotypes and labeling them.

 

Each person's case here is different. Many people do not suffer from low mood in particular. Many people experience an emotional anesthesia on and sometimes off the drugs and call that "depression."

 

What exactly is your "tardive dysphoria" like?

[Altostrata]

22 hours ago, PrivatePyle said:

I heard of a nootropic called Dihexa on Longecity and was impressed by what I heard. It acts similarly to BDNF, but 10 million times stronger.

 

We don't endorse using any gray-market drugs or nootropics, no matter how fashionable. You don't know what you're getting, and even if genuine, results are unpredictable in people whose nervous system have been sensitized by going on and off psychiatric drugs. By the way, many of these substances also incur dependency and require tapering.

 

I'm glad your experiment had positive results for you. If you'd like to discuss your experience in more detail, I suggest http://bluelight.org

[PrivatePyle]

55 minutes ago, Altostrata said:

 

We don't endorse using any gray-market drugs or nootropics, no matter how fashionable. You don't know what you're getting, and even if genuine, results are unpredictable in people whose nervous system have been sensitized by going on and off psychiatric drugs. By the way, many of these substances also incur dependency and require tapering.

 

I'm glad your experiment had positive results for you. If you'd like to discuss your experience in more detail, I suggest http://bluelight.org

 

What about the stuff on here about mushrooms? I'm just trying to help people out. I'm not selling anything.

[ChessieCat]

From http://survivingantidepressants.org/topic/1598-what-will-get-you-warned-or-banned/

 

 

On 6/16/2011 at 4:45 AM, Altostrata said:

- Drug shopping or recommending drugs
This is a site for going off drugs. It is not a site for finding out what drug to take next, comparing drug cocktails, or recommending what drug to add. This could be dangerous. People could be hurt by your advice.
 
(We do not know of any drugs or drug combination that will fix withdrawal syndrome. Reinstatement of the original drug, often at a low dose, sometimes helps and sometimes does not.)

 

If you feel you must tell a member to seek help from a physician, please specify the physician. Most likely, the member has joined this site because of lack of success finding a knowledgeable doctor.

 

If you believe taking  psychiatric drugs will help a particular member, please specify drug and dosage. Take responsibility for your advice. If you cannot do this, don't tell people to take more drugs. They don't know what to take and neither do their doctors. I and the staff here on SurvivingAntidepressants.org don't know, either.

 

For the safety of our members, we cannot permit people to give irresponsible drug advice on this site. If you get a warning for this, please take it to heart.

 

[Altostrata]

1 hour ago, PrivatePyle said:

What about the stuff on here about mushrooms? I'm just trying to help people out. I'm not selling anything.

 

Good point. I've put a warning about street drugs, etc. in What Will Get You Warned or Banned.

 

Personally, I'm not an anti-recreational drug person, but people who come here have vulnerable nervous systems and it's best not to encourage them to take psychedelics, somebody could get hurt very badly.

 

 

[PrivatePyle]

Topic title:  Can SSRI damage make you more prone to concussions?

 

I used to get on roller coasters all the time growing up. Now, they give me a concussion. One of the few things I enjoy in life, gone. One less reason to keep living. Could the SSRI damage be the cause of this? I'm only 26 and otherwise physically healthy.

 

Edited September 14, 2019 by ChessieCat
added topic title

[brassmonkey]

How are you determining that you have received a concussion from riding a roller coaster?

[PrivatePyle]

7 minutes ago, brassmonkey said:

How are you determining that you have received a concussion from riding a roller coaster?

 

I went on one in October 2017 and got a concussion. I went on one in September 2018 and got a concussion. I don't just get concussions walking down the street.

[brassmonkey]

hat didn't answer my question.  How did you determine you got a concussion? What were the symptoms? How did you injure your head? A concussion has a very specific cause and pathology, we can't answer your question until we can understand what has happened.

[PrivatePyle]

21 minutes ago, brassmonkey said:

hat didn't answer my question.  How did you determine you got a concussion? What were the symptoms? How did you injure your head? A concussion has a very specific cause and pathology, we can't answer your question until we can understand what has happened.

 

There was nausea and dizziness the day it happened.  The next two or three weeks, I had a constant feeling of pressure in my head. When I drove over a bump in the road, I felt an ache in my head. When I plopped down on a couch too hard, I felt an ache in my head.

[brassmonkey]

I'm finding no published reports of this happening, but SSRIs are commonly used post concussion for treatment. There are no references of SSRIs making the brain more sensitive to physical damage.  If there was no significant blow to the head then I don't think an actual concussion happened.  However, what you describe is consistent with a symptom wave that could be triggered by the sharp movements.

[PrivatePyle]

LSD Worsened Me

 

I finally started healing around the three year mark, which was late 2019. Every month or two I get what I call a "surge" in my head. That is, my brain made an leap forwards back to normal. Well, three days ago I decided to try something moronic. Feeling depressed that I am 27 and haven't done much with my life, I decided to try a small dose of LSD. Remember, I wasn't a happy person before I started with SSRIs, but misery is a depthless ocean. Things can always get worse. My justification was that psychedelics are completely different from SSRIs. I had no idea they work by heavily stimulating the 5-HT2A recptors. If I would have known that, I wouldn't have touched it with a ten-foot pole. Even with SSRI damage, I got away with marijuana, alcohol, ephedrine, and even shrooms, which work in a similar way to LSD, but are not as powerful or long-lasting. Those of you on here that promote the "healing benefits" of psychedelics are dead wrong. Do you realize that there are people out there who say SSRIs are healing to the brain? Messing around with the serotonin receptors is never safe and shouldn't be advocated for.

 

The question is whether I have derailed my brain's healing process. Will my other receptors continue to grow in September or does the three-year clock start over?

 

Edited August 1, 2020 by ChessieCat
added topic title

[ChessieCat]

One of the things which I have learned from being here at SA is to research everything BEFORE taking it.

 

Like any hiccup in withdrawal and recovery you've probably only made a small set back in recovery.  It is highly unlikely that you have gone back to square 1.

 

Check out the sub-topics in this topic.  It was recently updated:

 

are-we-there-yet-how-long-is-withdrawal-going-to-take