Jump to content

Jill44's long road


Jill44

Recommended Posts

FeelingAlone,

 

A friend of mine cleaned out her fridge and brought me grapes. I have strawberries and carrots. Today I'll eat those when I get hungry.

 

Yesterday I went out to do some editing on paper at Panera and oops! An orange-frosted scone in the middle of the day, and cream and sugar in my decaf. Just writing it makes me shudder.

 

Thinking more about the taper, I had a mood swing yesterday and it was ... lighter, somehow. Hard to explain.

 

It occurs to me that it's only folks like us who say things like "I had a mood swing yesterday." It's fun to be in like-minded company.

 

:lol:

 

Jill

My meds, all generic

Adderall 10 mg rarely

Atenolol 200 mg/day

Effexor XR 150 mg/day

Lamictal 100 mg/day

Lovastatin 20 mg/day

Trazodone 100 mg/nightly

Triamt/HCTZ (diuretic) 37.5-25 mg daily

Verapamil 480 mg/day

Xanax .125 mg rarely

 

Life is much too important to be taken seriously.

 

What do you know about your ancestors? Can I help you learn more?

Link to comment
  • Replies 73
  • Created
  • Last Reply

Top Posters In This Topic

  • Altostrata

    13

  • Whatever

    4

  • Jill44

    39

  • tezza

    5

Top Posters In This Topic

I decided to remove 20 dots instead of 15 this morning, leaving 130mg. I feel good and I'm very glad to be doing this.

 

:)

 

Jill

My meds, all generic

Adderall 10 mg rarely

Atenolol 200 mg/day

Effexor XR 150 mg/day

Lamictal 100 mg/day

Lovastatin 20 mg/day

Trazodone 100 mg/nightly

Triamt/HCTZ (diuretic) 37.5-25 mg daily

Verapamil 480 mg/day

Xanax .125 mg rarely

 

Life is much too important to be taken seriously.

 

What do you know about your ancestors? Can I help you learn more?

Link to comment
  • 2 weeks later...

Removed another five dots from each pill for this week. I had forgotten I was tapering until I looked at the calendar.

 

Items from a manicure set plus embossed scrapbooking paper make it easy and fun to count dots.

 

:P

My meds, all generic

Adderall 10 mg rarely

Atenolol 200 mg/day

Effexor XR 150 mg/day

Lamictal 100 mg/day

Lovastatin 20 mg/day

Trazodone 100 mg/nightly

Triamt/HCTZ (diuretic) 37.5-25 mg daily

Verapamil 480 mg/day

Xanax .125 mg rarely

 

Life is much too important to be taken seriously.

 

What do you know about your ancestors? Can I help you learn more?

Link to comment
  • 1 month later...

After the last taper I was just a bit cockeyed for a week or two, no big deal. Now a week or so later I feel good, so yesterday I reduced the dose to 85 mg/day. My appetite is settling down as well, thank goodness.

 

I sort the pellets for a week at a time. I gotta say, counting out 65 dots and putting them into a separate capsule, even with my embossed cardstock to help divide them, is a royal pain.

 

My doctor is retiring, I saw her partner for the first (and last) time. I didn't tediously explain that I'm tapering, so script remains 150 mg/day. I'll explain to my new doc. (I have no shrink, can't afford one, my primary care doc refills my psych meds.)

 

At the Aging Expo yesterday I got a line on a terrific new-in-town family practice doc who is also a geriatrician. Wonder of wonders, she's located very near me (just like my old doc) and she's accepting new Medicare patients. Will get the name and phone number and call her today.

 

The retiring doc switched to computerized records only a couple of years ago. I want to have my old handwritten records in my own hot little hands when I change over. I'll have to pay for a copy, and the file is very thick, but I'll cross that bridge when I come to it.

 

And that's what's going on with me. Happy I am. :D

 

Jill

My meds, all generic

Adderall 10 mg rarely

Atenolol 200 mg/day

Effexor XR 150 mg/day

Lamictal 100 mg/day

Lovastatin 20 mg/day

Trazodone 100 mg/nightly

Triamt/HCTZ (diuretic) 37.5-25 mg daily

Verapamil 480 mg/day

Xanax .125 mg rarely

 

Life is much too important to be taken seriously.

 

What do you know about your ancestors? Can I help you learn more?

Link to comment
  • Administrator

Stick with 150mg per day, and the same brand of drug -- the number of beads varies from manufacturer to manufacturer and dosage to dosage, which could complicate your taper.

This is not medical advice. Discuss any decisions about your medical care with a knowledgeable medical practitioner.

"It has become appallingly obvious that our technology has surpassed our humanity." -- Albert Einstein

All postings © copyrighted.

Link to comment

Starting second week of 85 mg Effexor/day. I just had a couple of emotional experiences of the best kind — joy! Still grinning. I take it as a good sign. :D

 

Here's a link to my Facebook page with Cmdr Hatfield and a video recording of burglars burgling in my home town.

 

—Jill

My meds, all generic

Adderall 10 mg rarely

Atenolol 200 mg/day

Effexor XR 150 mg/day

Lamictal 100 mg/day

Lovastatin 20 mg/day

Trazodone 100 mg/nightly

Triamt/HCTZ (diuretic) 37.5-25 mg daily

Verapamil 480 mg/day

Xanax .125 mg rarely

 

Life is much too important to be taken seriously.

 

What do you know about your ancestors? Can I help you learn more?

Link to comment
  • 2 weeks later...

Well, the geriatrician was a bust. I've taken a couple of names from a best doctors website. After I get a doc I'm going to see an orthopod, because I want a definite diagnosis for all the quirks in my muscles and bones. The oddness has descended to my right knee now. Sheesh! :blink:

 

Today starts my last week of 85 mg. My emotions and my sleep cycles have smoothed out and I feel fine. I can't wait to get to 75 mg, when I can just take half the dots out of the capsule, put them into another capsule, and have two doses ready.

 

And it took me all this time to learn to pour the dots onto the sticky strip of a black post-it laid on top of my embossed cardstock. If I line them up I can slide them right into the capsule, no wet finger. Double sheesh! :blink:

 

Hope you all have a splendid holiday weekend.

 

—Jill

My meds, all generic

Adderall 10 mg rarely

Atenolol 200 mg/day

Effexor XR 150 mg/day

Lamictal 100 mg/day

Lovastatin 20 mg/day

Trazodone 100 mg/nightly

Triamt/HCTZ (diuretic) 37.5-25 mg daily

Verapamil 480 mg/day

Xanax .125 mg rarely

 

Life is much too important to be taken seriously.

 

What do you know about your ancestors? Can I help you learn more?

Link to comment
  • Moderator Emeritus

Glad to hear it's going so well for you Jill, although counting out beads is something I'm thankful I never had to do, in the UK we have pill trays marked with the days of the week so you can sort out pills ahead, can you use one of those?

*** Please note this is not medical advice,discuss any decisions about your medical care with a knowledgeable medical practitioner***





http://prozacwithdrawal.blogspot.com/
Original drug was sertraline/Zoloft, switched to Prozac in 2007.
Tapering from 5mls liquid prozac since Feb 2008, got down to 0.85ml 23/09/2012, reinstated back to 1ml(4mg) 07/11/2012, didn't appear to work, upped to 1.05ml 17/11/2012, back down to 1ml 12/12/2012 didn't work, up to 1.30ml 16/3/2013 didn't work, bumped up to 2ml (8mg) 4/4/2013 didn't work, in July 2013 I reinstated Sertraline (Zoloft) 50mg, feeling better now. 

A few months down the line I switched to 5ml liquid Prozac and tapered down to a compromise dose of 3ml liquid Prozac and have stayed there ever since, no withdrawals and no emotional blunting/loss of libido.

 

Link to comment

It's not the pill, it's the milligrams. (You probably know this already, but here it is anyway).

 

I put my daily meds into a day sorter, 2 weeks at a time. For Effexor, I empty the 150-mg capsule; it only comes in capsules. I count out 1-mg beads, very tiny, think of the point of a pin, not the head of a pin.

 

Then I put the 85 beads back into a capsule, either the original or one of the ones that my cat's Cosequin comes in, since I empty the capsules onto her food every day. The remainder go into another capsule or into an old aspirin bottle labeled Effexor to be counted out later.

 

—Jill

My meds, all generic

Adderall 10 mg rarely

Atenolol 200 mg/day

Effexor XR 150 mg/day

Lamictal 100 mg/day

Lovastatin 20 mg/day

Trazodone 100 mg/nightly

Triamt/HCTZ (diuretic) 37.5-25 mg daily

Verapamil 480 mg/day

Xanax .125 mg rarely

 

Life is much too important to be taken seriously.

 

What do you know about your ancestors? Can I help you learn more?

Link to comment
  • Moderator Emeritus

OK I understand now, but you must need a magnifying glass to count out beads that minute!

*** Please note this is not medical advice,discuss any decisions about your medical care with a knowledgeable medical practitioner***





http://prozacwithdrawal.blogspot.com/
Original drug was sertraline/Zoloft, switched to Prozac in 2007.
Tapering from 5mls liquid prozac since Feb 2008, got down to 0.85ml 23/09/2012, reinstated back to 1ml(4mg) 07/11/2012, didn't appear to work, upped to 1.05ml 17/11/2012, back down to 1ml 12/12/2012 didn't work, up to 1.30ml 16/3/2013 didn't work, bumped up to 2ml (8mg) 4/4/2013 didn't work, in July 2013 I reinstated Sertraline (Zoloft) 50mg, feeling better now. 

A few months down the line I switched to 5ml liquid Prozac and tapered down to a compromise dose of 3ml liquid Prozac and have stayed there ever since, no withdrawals and no emotional blunting/loss of libido.

 

Link to comment
  • Administrator

What a great suggestion for bead-counting! Thanks, Jill.

This is not medical advice. Discuss any decisions about your medical care with a knowledgeable medical practitioner.

"It has become appallingly obvious that our technology has surpassed our humanity." -- Albert Einstein

All postings © copyrighted.

Link to comment

Well, damn. My right hip and leg are now totally wonky. I'm on pain relievers every day, sometimes 24 hrs a day. I struggle up and down stairs. The knee gives out on me; I don't fall, just sink slowly to the ground. The stress of all this is making me feel tired and tense. I have an appointment with an orthopedist on Tuesday.

 

I've been down to 85 mg of Venlafaxine for what, a month now? I don't think it has anything to do with how I feel, but there's no more taper until I know what's going on with my body and what to do about it.

 

My friend who's dedicated to the medical, and medication, model of mental illness hasn't said anything about it since I started reducing my dose. If she does, I'll deck her, of course. A tense person with a pronounced limp has a right to be a little grumpy.

 

—Jill

My meds, all generic

Adderall 10 mg rarely

Atenolol 200 mg/day

Effexor XR 150 mg/day

Lamictal 100 mg/day

Lovastatin 20 mg/day

Trazodone 100 mg/nightly

Triamt/HCTZ (diuretic) 37.5-25 mg daily

Verapamil 480 mg/day

Xanax .125 mg rarely

 

Life is much too important to be taken seriously.

 

What do you know about your ancestors? Can I help you learn more?

Link to comment

I've decided to go down to 75 mg Effexor. Last night I divided the pellets and it was so easy just to scoop out 75 any old way and drop them into the capsule. Having them all the same and coming out even made a lot of difference.

 

I'm cool with the medical situation. I have a bad leg, that's all. Millions of people have them. I'm going to have a walking cane to help me balance. I have no problem with vanity, I'm looking forward to being more stable on uneven terrain or whenever I need it.

 

I'm going to order the Pretty Purple from FashionableCanes.com.

My meds, all generic

Adderall 10 mg rarely

Atenolol 200 mg/day

Effexor XR 150 mg/day

Lamictal 100 mg/day

Lovastatin 20 mg/day

Trazodone 100 mg/nightly

Triamt/HCTZ (diuretic) 37.5-25 mg daily

Verapamil 480 mg/day

Xanax .125 mg rarely

 

Life is much too important to be taken seriously.

 

What do you know about your ancestors? Can I help you learn more?

Link to comment

Would love to know you in real life, Jill!

1st round Prozac 1989/90, clear depression symptoms. 2nd round Prozac started 1999 when admitted to dr. I was tired. Prozac pooped out, switch to Cymbalta 3/2006. Diagnosed with bipolar disorder due to mania 6/2006--then I was taken abruptly off Cymbalta and didn't know I had SSRI withdrawal. Lots of meds for my intractable "bipolar" symptoms.

Zyprexa started about 9/06, mostly 5mg. Tapered 4/12 through12/29/12

Wellbutrin. XL 300 mg started 1/07, tapered 1/18/13 through 7/8/13

Oxazepam mostly continuously since 6/06, 30mg since 12/12, tapered 1.17.14 through 8.26.15

11/06 Lithium 600mg twice daily, 2.2.14 400mg TID DIY liquid, 2.12.14 1150mg, 3.2.14 1100mg, 3.18.14 1075mg, 4/14 updose to 1100mg, 6.1.14 900 mg capsules 7.8.14 810mg, 8.17.14 725mg, 8.24.24 700mg...10.22.14 487.5mg, 3.9.15 475mg, 4.1.15 462.5mg 4.21.15 450mg 8.11.15 375mg, 11.28.15 362.5mg, back to 375mg four days later, 3.4.16 updose to 475 (too much going on to risk trouble)

9/4/13 Toprol-XL 25mg daily for sudden hypertension, tapered 11.12.13 through 5.3.14, last 10 days or so switched to atenolol

7.4.14 Started Walsh Protocol

56 years old

Link to comment

I'm down to 75mg Effexor. It took me six months to reduce the dosage by half, so I guess it will take a year to get off.
 
My diagnosis of spinal stenosis and having to get used to intermittent weakness and frequent pain in my right leg has complicated my situation a bit. Lifelong scoliosis has finally begun to crowd the nerves in my spine. I'm surprised it took this long to get serious.
 
My knee has simply collapsed under me a few times, very gently. It isn't an actual fall, I just find myself sitting on the floor unexpectedly. That's what drove me to see an orthopedist.
 
I'm learning how to exercise (and how not to!) to minimize the pain and weakness and how to handle the debilitating effects of this depressing condition. Everything I read on the medical websites says there isn't much that helps. During my conversation with the orthopod when we discussed treatment and lifestyle changes he kept saying "... but that won't do anything for the pain."
 
I have a cane, I can devise a stretching routine (please, somebody hang me by my feet so my vertebrae can breathe!), I can take pain relievers. I can't "limit activity" as they say to do; my activities are so limited by lack of money that I already feel like I'm under house arrest. But I'm reminding myself that I haven't started designing my lifestyle changes yet. "Progressive" doesn't mean "hopeless."
 
My other problem is this: My brain does not want to brain. I have the stupid. The other day I drove miles in circles looking for a place 3 miles from my house that I know well because I didn't connect the name with the place. I don't seem to be able to think things through, to go from point a to point b, c, d. As I type this, though, I see how much stress I've been under for the past month, what with daily pain and all. The Plan will help me get my thought processes back. Really. I'm sure it will.
 
As always, thanks for listening.
 
—Jill

Edited by Petu
fixed text

My meds, all generic

Adderall 10 mg rarely

Atenolol 200 mg/day

Effexor XR 150 mg/day

Lamictal 100 mg/day

Lovastatin 20 mg/day

Trazodone 100 mg/nightly

Triamt/HCTZ (diuretic) 37.5-25 mg daily

Verapamil 480 mg/day

Xanax .125 mg rarely

 

Life is much too important to be taken seriously.

 

What do you know about your ancestors? Can I help you learn more?

Link to comment
  • Administrator

Hang in there, Jill. You'll figure out how to best take care of yourself.

 

I have a congenital spinal alignment problem also. I've managed it for years with Pilates, which strengthens the gut muscles. A good physical therapy program can help you.

This is not medical advice. Discuss any decisions about your medical care with a knowledgeable medical practitioner.

"It has become appallingly obvious that our technology has surpassed our humanity." -- Albert Einstein

All postings © copyrighted.

Link to comment

I'm doing much better. I've finally found the right kind of stretches and exercises. Oh hell, that's a lie. Truth is, I've finally started doing stretches and exercises, at least a little, instead of being totally lazy and then complaining later.

 

A few days ago I went to an exercise class called Ageless Grace in my neighborhood where you sit in a chair and move and stretch to cool old music. The teacher is a good-looking young black guy, and my gray-haired compadres seem to be having a good time. I enjoyed it; I'll go again this week.

My meds, all generic

Adderall 10 mg rarely

Atenolol 200 mg/day

Effexor XR 150 mg/day

Lamictal 100 mg/day

Lovastatin 20 mg/day

Trazodone 100 mg/nightly

Triamt/HCTZ (diuretic) 37.5-25 mg daily

Verapamil 480 mg/day

Xanax .125 mg rarely

 

Life is much too important to be taken seriously.

 

What do you know about your ancestors? Can I help you learn more?

Link to comment
  • 1 month later...

Well, today I apply for food  stamps. I have my paperwork ready and I leave for the appointment in 15 minutes. Oh, and did I mention my cat has cancer? She had her spleen removed last week. Happy times.

 

—Jill

My meds, all generic

Adderall 10 mg rarely

Atenolol 200 mg/day

Effexor XR 150 mg/day

Lamictal 100 mg/day

Lovastatin 20 mg/day

Trazodone 100 mg/nightly

Triamt/HCTZ (diuretic) 37.5-25 mg daily

Verapamil 480 mg/day

Xanax .125 mg rarely

 

Life is much too important to be taken seriously.

 

What do you know about your ancestors? Can I help you learn more?

Link to comment
  • Moderator Emeritus

Oh, I'm sorry Jill.

 

It's been such a pleasure to read your posts. Your optimistic attitude lightens up my day. 

Started on Prozac and Xanax in 1992 for PTSD after an assault. One drug led to more, the usual story. Got sicker and sicker, but believed I needed the drugs for my "underlying disease". Long story...lost everything. Life savings, home, physical and mental health, relationships, friendships, ability to work, everything. Amitryptiline, Prozac, bupropion, buspirone, flurazepam, diazepam, alprazolam, Paxil, citalopram, lamotrigine, gabapentin...probably more I've forgotten. 

Started multidrug taper in Feb 2010.  Doing a very slow microtaper, down to low doses now and feeling SO much better, getting my old personality and my brain back! Able to work full time, have a full social life, and cope with stress better than ever. Not perfect, but much better. After 23 lost years. Big Pharma has a lot to answer for. And "medicine for profit" is just not a great idea.

 

Feb 15 2010:  300 mg Neurontin  200 Lamictal   10 Celexa      0.65 Xanax   and 5 mg Ambien 

Feb 10 2014:   62 Lamictal    1.1 Celexa         0.135 Xanax    1.8 Valium

Feb 10 2015:   50 Lamictal      0.875 Celexa    0.11 Xanax      1.5 Valium

Feb 15 2016:   47.5 Lamictal   0.75 Celexa      0.0875 Xanax    1.42 Valium    

2/12/20             12                       0.045               0.007                   1 

May 2021            7                       0.01                  0.0037                1

Feb 2022            6                      0!!!                     0.00167               0.98                2.5 mg Ambien

 

I'm not a doctor. Any advice I give is just my civilian opinion.

Link to comment
  • 3 weeks later...

Last week my dr. found my white count high, we found no infection, she started me on antibiotics. Weds I became very sniffly & Thursday I felt awful and threw up. By Friday I was fine, just a little tired, same as today. It seems that by total coincidence I had the blood work done just as my white blood cells were revving up to do battle. Amazing.

 

I've been tapering for eight months. My last dosage stayed the same for four weeks and I started another reduction last Monday. It seems that all this stress on my system had its effect today, when I had a meltdown at the grocery store. I went to four supermarkets looking for the food my cats eat. First one was for sale items, it and second one didn't have the catfood, third one I tried to buy it but it didn't check out at the sale price, I had grabbed the wrong size bag. Beginning to fray around the edges, I left without it.

 

Fourth store had the catfood but it was nearly noon and crowded. S L O O W W lines even at the self checkout, I waited, fidgeted, began to go mad. Finally checked out and the damn thing wouldn't take my cash. I descended into meltdown. It seems a new screen was asking how many bags I needed (we have a 5¢ tax), and then it went to ANOTHER NEW SCREEN so I could say I brought a bag and claim the 5¢ off my groceries. By this time I was shaking and mumbling and being helped by an employee. When I got outside two people asked if I was all right and I started blubbering, tears streaming, talking about the computer. I finally assured them I was all right. My humiliation was total.

 

I haven't had a meltdown like this for over a year. I thought it would never happen again. I realize I had three kinds of stress going, four if you count my constant financial panic.

 

I see Effexor as a scorpion with its claws into me, fighting to hold on, when things like this happen. And I will stick with this taper. I'm on a steady pace, down 2/3 dosage after 2/3 of the year. The symptoms will clear. The scorpion will not win this battle.

 

I'll get $16.00 a month in food stamps when they send my EBT card. I'm grateful for the assistance but I keep thinking of other people at my income level who have greater need and get the same amount. I wish them more, if not myself.

 

Sorry for the ramble. I'll be much better in a few days.

 

—Jill

My meds, all generic

Adderall 10 mg rarely

Atenolol 200 mg/day

Effexor XR 150 mg/day

Lamictal 100 mg/day

Lovastatin 20 mg/day

Trazodone 100 mg/nightly

Triamt/HCTZ (diuretic) 37.5-25 mg daily

Verapamil 480 mg/day

Xanax .125 mg rarely

 

Life is much too important to be taken seriously.

 

What do you know about your ancestors? Can I help you learn more?

Link to comment
  • Moderator Emeritus

Jill--

 

I've been concerned all along for you about what seems to be a fairly rapid taper, particularly for one of us gifted-in-years type folks, particularly for anyone with a decades-long history on psych meds.

 

Please be careful about that. Don't fall into the trap of forcing your body to follow a calendar goal that you've made up your mind about. That gets people into so much trouble.

 

If you had broken a bone you wouldn't tell the bone it absolutely had to heal within exactly so many weeks or months, right? Well, your CNS is no different. It heals at the rate it heals at. It needs the time that it needs, to readjust its chemistry and regrow the necessary cells and cellular components, turn genes on and off, etc.

 

The only real guidance we have for taper rates is our symptoms. Meltdowns are a pretty reliable sign that it's time for a significant hold.

 

Please be careful.

 

--Rhi

Started on Prozac and Xanax in 1992 for PTSD after an assault. One drug led to more, the usual story. Got sicker and sicker, but believed I needed the drugs for my "underlying disease". Long story...lost everything. Life savings, home, physical and mental health, relationships, friendships, ability to work, everything. Amitryptiline, Prozac, bupropion, buspirone, flurazepam, diazepam, alprazolam, Paxil, citalopram, lamotrigine, gabapentin...probably more I've forgotten. 

Started multidrug taper in Feb 2010.  Doing a very slow microtaper, down to low doses now and feeling SO much better, getting my old personality and my brain back! Able to work full time, have a full social life, and cope with stress better than ever. Not perfect, but much better. After 23 lost years. Big Pharma has a lot to answer for. And "medicine for profit" is just not a great idea.

 

Feb 15 2010:  300 mg Neurontin  200 Lamictal   10 Celexa      0.65 Xanax   and 5 mg Ambien 

Feb 10 2014:   62 Lamictal    1.1 Celexa         0.135 Xanax    1.8 Valium

Feb 10 2015:   50 Lamictal      0.875 Celexa    0.11 Xanax      1.5 Valium

Feb 15 2016:   47.5 Lamictal   0.75 Celexa      0.0875 Xanax    1.42 Valium    

2/12/20             12                       0.045               0.007                   1 

May 2021            7                       0.01                  0.0037                1

Feb 2022            6                      0!!!                     0.00167               0.98                2.5 mg Ambien

 

I'm not a doctor. Any advice I give is just my civilian opinion.

Link to comment

Last week my dr. found my white count high, we found no infection, she started me on antibiotics. Weds I became very sniffly & Thursday I felt awful and threw up. By Friday I was fine, just a little tired, same as today. It seems that by total coincidence I had the blood work done just as my white blood cells were revving up to do battle. Amazing.

 

I've been tapering for eight months. My last dosage stayed the same for four weeks and I started another reduction last Monday. It seems that all this stress on my system had its effect today, when I had a meltdown at the grocery store. I went to four supermarkets looking for the food my cats eat. First one was for sale items, it and second one didn't have the catfood, third one I tried to buy it but it didn't check out at the sale price, I had grabbed the wrong size bag. Beginning to fray around the edges, I left without it.

 

Fourth store had the catfood but it was nearly noon and crowded. S L O O W W lines even at the self checkout, I waited, fidgeted, began to go mad. Finally checked out and the damn thing wouldn't take my cash. I descended into meltdown. It seems a new screen was asking how many bags I needed (we have a 5¢ tax), and then it went to ANOTHER NEW SCREEN so I could say I brought a bag and claim the 5¢ off my groceries. By this time I was shaking and mumbling and being helped by an employee. When I got outside two people asked if I was all right and I started blubbering, tears streaming, talking about the computer. I finally assured them I was all right. My humiliation was total.

 

I haven't had a meltdown like this for over a year. I thought it would never happen again. I realize I had three kinds of stress going, four if you count my constant financial panic.

 

I see Effexor as a scorpion with its claws into me, fighting to hold on, when things like this happen. And I will stick with this taper. I'm on a steady pace, down 2/3 dosage after 2/3 of the year. The symptoms will clear. The scorpion will not win this battle.

 

I'll get $16.00 a month in food stamps when they send my EBT card. I'm grateful for the assistance but I keep thinking of other people at my income level who have greater need and get the same amount. I wish them more, if not myself.

 

Sorry for the ramble. I'll be much better in a few days.

 

—Jill

Hi Jill,

 

As an FYI, some of my meltdowns have been at self checkout lines, particularly ones I haven't been through before where I can't seem to do the simplest task and there is no employee in the immediate vicinity to ask for assistance. I so relate to what you mentioned and I am sorry you experienced it.

 

Please heed Rhi's advice about tapering too quickly. 

 

Hope things get better.

 

CS

Drug cocktail 1995 - 2010
Started taper of Adderall, Wellbutrin XL, Remeron, and Doxepin in 2006
Finished taper on June 10, 2010

Temazepam on a PRN basis approximately twice a month - 2014 to 2016

Beginning in 2017 - Consumption increased to about two times per week

April 2017 - Increased to taking it full time for insomnia

Link to comment

I'm fine now. I'm not tapering too quickly. It seems that it wasn't the taper that caused the meltdown. I've determined other causes. Thanks for your concerns.

My meds, all generic

Adderall 10 mg rarely

Atenolol 200 mg/day

Effexor XR 150 mg/day

Lamictal 100 mg/day

Lovastatin 20 mg/day

Trazodone 100 mg/nightly

Triamt/HCTZ (diuretic) 37.5-25 mg daily

Verapamil 480 mg/day

Xanax .125 mg rarely

 

Life is much too important to be taken seriously.

 

What do you know about your ancestors? Can I help you learn more?

Link to comment

I wish we all could find other causes :). Be well!

1st round Prozac 1989/90, clear depression symptoms. 2nd round Prozac started 1999 when admitted to dr. I was tired. Prozac pooped out, switch to Cymbalta 3/2006. Diagnosed with bipolar disorder due to mania 6/2006--then I was taken abruptly off Cymbalta and didn't know I had SSRI withdrawal. Lots of meds for my intractable "bipolar" symptoms.

Zyprexa started about 9/06, mostly 5mg. Tapered 4/12 through12/29/12

Wellbutrin. XL 300 mg started 1/07, tapered 1/18/13 through 7/8/13

Oxazepam mostly continuously since 6/06, 30mg since 12/12, tapered 1.17.14 through 8.26.15

11/06 Lithium 600mg twice daily, 2.2.14 400mg TID DIY liquid, 2.12.14 1150mg, 3.2.14 1100mg, 3.18.14 1075mg, 4/14 updose to 1100mg, 6.1.14 900 mg capsules 7.8.14 810mg, 8.17.14 725mg, 8.24.24 700mg...10.22.14 487.5mg, 3.9.15 475mg, 4.1.15 462.5mg 4.21.15 450mg 8.11.15 375mg, 11.28.15 362.5mg, back to 375mg four days later, 3.4.16 updose to 475 (too much going on to risk trouble)

9/4/13 Toprol-XL 25mg daily for sudden hypertension, tapered 11.12.13 through 5.3.14, last 10 days or so switched to atenolol

7.4.14 Started Walsh Protocol

56 years old

Link to comment
  • 1 month later...

Goood mornin' ev'ybuddy!
 
Let's see, where was I. Oh yes... I was at 50 mg Effexor and a friend pointed out I was having symptoms of depression. I added 10 mg, back to 60 mg, for a couple of weeks and then went back down to 50 mg. That worked out fine, no withdrawal or depression. 
 
I'm occasionally using .125mg Xanax (a half of a 1/4mg tablet) to even out my mood, but not often, and that works well. I've gone down to 40 mg now. 
 
Oh, by the way, I'm counting dots by rolling a light adhesive from a little roller onto red paper in 1/4" rows with space between. The dots stick to the stripes and I scoop them up into empty Cosequin capsules. 
 
I was thinking I started the taper in January but it was actually February 20. So it's been 8 months and if I'm done by 12/31 it will be about ten months. I think it will work out that the pills in the bottle will be my last. Lookin' forward to it.
 
:D
 
Jill

My meds, all generic

Adderall 10 mg rarely

Atenolol 200 mg/day

Effexor XR 150 mg/day

Lamictal 100 mg/day

Lovastatin 20 mg/day

Trazodone 100 mg/nightly

Triamt/HCTZ (diuretic) 37.5-25 mg daily

Verapamil 480 mg/day

Xanax .125 mg rarely

 

Life is much too important to be taken seriously.

 

What do you know about your ancestors? Can I help you learn more?

Link to comment
  • Administrator

Great! Thanks for updating us.

This is not medical advice. Discuss any decisions about your medical care with a knowledgeable medical practitioner.

"It has become appallingly obvious that our technology has surpassed our humanity." -- Albert Einstein

All postings © copyrighted.

Link to comment
  • 3 months later...

Goood mornin' ev'ybuddy and happy Valentine's Day! It's a snow day Here Near DC.

 

I saw my new doc this week for a med check. We're reducing the dose of one blood pressure med later, changing to a more potassium-sparing diuretic now, and getting me off lamotrigine, of which she said "I never prescribe this!" Since I won't see a shrink, she agreed to call a psychiatrist she knows for advice on tapering the lamotrigine. He said to reduce the dose by 50% every two weeks, so that would be 50 mg for two weeks, 25 mg for two weeks, then none. The only side effect mentioned was the return of depression. I'm not too concerned over side effects, but I'll do the research and be watchful.

 

I like this doctor, so I'm willing to listen to her. She treated me like a queen after all the problems I've had with her colleague, Doctor Disaster (they're in the same 3-doc office), over the past year.

 

I'll let you know how it goes. :)

 

—Jill

My meds, all generic

Adderall 10 mg rarely

Atenolol 200 mg/day

Effexor XR 150 mg/day

Lamictal 100 mg/day

Lovastatin 20 mg/day

Trazodone 100 mg/nightly

Triamt/HCTZ (diuretic) 37.5-25 mg daily

Verapamil 480 mg/day

Xanax .125 mg rarely

 

Life is much too important to be taken seriously.

 

What do you know about your ancestors? Can I help you learn more?

Link to comment

Wait... did I not post here when I got off Effexor for good on January 1, 2014? Anyway, December 31 was my last dose. Hallelujah!

My meds, all generic

Adderall 10 mg rarely

Atenolol 200 mg/day

Effexor XR 150 mg/day

Lamictal 100 mg/day

Lovastatin 20 mg/day

Trazodone 100 mg/nightly

Triamt/HCTZ (diuretic) 37.5-25 mg daily

Verapamil 480 mg/day

Xanax .125 mg rarely

 

Life is much too important to be taken seriously.

 

What do you know about your ancestors? Can I help you learn more?

Link to comment

Did I mention that my back and leg pain went away entirely by itself a couple of months ago? It did.

My meds, all generic

Adderall 10 mg rarely

Atenolol 200 mg/day

Effexor XR 150 mg/day

Lamictal 100 mg/day

Lovastatin 20 mg/day

Trazodone 100 mg/nightly

Triamt/HCTZ (diuretic) 37.5-25 mg daily

Verapamil 480 mg/day

Xanax .125 mg rarely

 

Life is much too important to be taken seriously.

 

What do you know about your ancestors? Can I help you learn more?

Link to comment
  • Administrator

Yay! Did you have any withdrawal symptoms when you were done with Effexor?

 

I would be more cautious than that schedule for going off lamotrigine. See http://survivingantidepressants.org/index.php?/topic/1122-tips-for-tapering-off-lamictal-lamotrigine/

This is not medical advice. Discuss any decisions about your medical care with a knowledgeable medical practitioner.

"It has become appallingly obvious that our technology has surpassed our humanity." -- Albert Einstein

All postings © copyrighted.

Link to comment
  • 1 month later...

I went off Lamictal entirely on March 15. I'm learning about neuro-emotions... Zing! Pow! You're weird! Hmm... yep, this week I redlined my personal Wait, what?-o-meter, but nothing bad has happened. I'm cutting myself a lot of slack. Spring is here, sort of. Winter will be beaten back by the time baseball season starts next week. All's well.

My meds, all generic

Adderall 10 mg rarely

Atenolol 200 mg/day

Effexor XR 150 mg/day

Lamictal 100 mg/day

Lovastatin 20 mg/day

Trazodone 100 mg/nightly

Triamt/HCTZ (diuretic) 37.5-25 mg daily

Verapamil 480 mg/day

Xanax .125 mg rarely

 

Life is much too important to be taken seriously.

 

What do you know about your ancestors? Can I help you learn more?

Link to comment
  • Moderator Emeritus

Hi Jill,

I just read through your thread.  Congratulations on getting off effexor, that one can be difficult for a lot of people.  Its wonderful that your leg and back pain went away, makes me realize just how much damage to our whole bodies these drugs can do.  Since finally being able to get off lexapro, many of my long term health issues have vanished, unfortunately, I'm in protracted withdrawal from tapering too fast.

 

It sounds like you may be having some withdrawal symptoms now from stopping Lamictal. Its possible they will subside, but its also possible that they may continue and even get worse.  Nervous system damage tends to be cumulative and yours may not have been as resilient as it was when you started your effexor taper. 

 

I hope I'm wrong, but if your symptoms persist, you might want to consider reinstating a small amount of lamictal and then continuing with a slower taper.  What dose were you on when you finally quit on March 15?

 

Petu.

I'm not a doctor.  My comments are not medical advise. These are my opinions based on my own experience and what I've learned. Please discuss your situation with a medical practitioner who has knowledge of tapering and withdrawal...if you are lucky enough to find one.

My Introduction Thread

Full Drug and Withdrawal History

Brief Summary

Several SSRIs for 13 years starting 1997 (for mild to moderate partly situational anxiety) Xanax PRN ~ Various other drugs over the years for side effects

2 month 'taper' off Lexapro 2010

Short acute withdrawal, followed by 2 -3 months of improvement then delayed protracted withdrawal

DX ADHD followed by several years of stimulants and other drugs trying to manage increasing symptoms

Failed reinstatement of Lexapro and trial of Prozac (became suicidal)

May 2013 Found SA, learned about withdrawal, stopped taking drugs...healing begins.

Protracted withdrawal, with a very sensitized nervous system, slowly recovering as time passes

Supplements which have helped: Vitamin C, Magnesium, Taurine

Bad reactions: Many supplements but mostly fish oil and Vitamin D

June 2016 - Started daily juicing, mostly vegetables and lots of greens.

Aug 2016 - Oct 2016 Best window ever, felt almost completely recovered

Oct 2016 -Symptoms returned - bad days and less bad days.

April 2018 - No windows, but significant improvement, it feels like permanent full recovery is close.

VIDEO: Where did the chemical imbalance theory come from?



VIDEO: How are psychiatric diagnoses made?



VIDEO: Why do psychiatric drugs have withdrawal syndromes?



VIDEO: Can psychiatric drugs cause long-lasting negative effects?

VIDEO: Dr. Claire Weekes

 

 

 

Link to comment

I've been off lamotrigine for about 12 days and I'm all over the map. I feel different every day, some days better, some worse. But I've lost some excess appetite, sugar craving gone, that's the good news.

 

I'm unpredictably irritable, scared, vague, detached, unfocused, angry. I do simple crossword-like puzzles and listen to audiobooks for hours at a time to keep from feeling like my mind is floating. Sometimes all I can do is curl up with one of the cats and watch the few TV shows I like. When I have work (writing/editing) at home I take half a Xanax (.125 out of .25 mg) and a 100 mg Adderall. That snaps me back to normal for a few hours.(Not often, it seems like a weird combo, but it does the job.)

 

Sometimes my cat wakes me about 5:00 in the morning and when that happens and I don't go back to sleep the whole next day is a loss. I can't focus on anything. That's how I am today. Exercise class this morning, then could barely figure out what to buy at the grocery store, came home and just flopped on the couch with Katie cat and watched TV.

 

I have a project I should be working on at home but it's a bear so didn't even try. No deadline, will wait till I'm able. Tomorrow I scan microfilm at the Library of Congress. Nothing like a good hunt for information to push aside the emotions and get the mind working!

 

After a week and a half drugfree I don't want to go back onto Lamictal even in tiny doses, but I might have to if I don't start to level off. I'm trying to keep an open mind.

 

Okay, I'm going back to my audiobook. No, kitties, it's not dinnertime yet. You'll just have to wait. Thanks for listening, guys.

My meds, all generic

Adderall 10 mg rarely

Atenolol 200 mg/day

Effexor XR 150 mg/day

Lamictal 100 mg/day

Lovastatin 20 mg/day

Trazodone 100 mg/nightly

Triamt/HCTZ (diuretic) 37.5-25 mg daily

Verapamil 480 mg/day

Xanax .125 mg rarely

 

Life is much too important to be taken seriously.

 

What do you know about your ancestors? Can I help you learn more?

Link to comment

Petu,

I just read your message. I didn't realize you had posted on March 23, I don't visit here every day. I need to find out how to set up a notification when someone posts. 

 

I planned to take six weeks to taper but I just looked at the calendar and it was only four. I have a terrible sense of time, I really thought it had been longer.

My meds, all generic

Adderall 10 mg rarely

Atenolol 200 mg/day

Effexor XR 150 mg/day

Lamictal 100 mg/day

Lovastatin 20 mg/day

Trazodone 100 mg/nightly

Triamt/HCTZ (diuretic) 37.5-25 mg daily

Verapamil 480 mg/day

Xanax .125 mg rarely

 

Life is much too important to be taken seriously.

 

What do you know about your ancestors? Can I help you learn more?

Link to comment

Now I know what I'm dealing with. It's very specific.

 

I feel like I'm in an undercurrent like that of the ocean shallows. It pushes me back and slows me down, preventing me from doing even the most ordinary things. It's a vague fear of the everyday. It's separate from my real fears and from the awful vulnerabilities that plague me.

 

I have a dozen true fears and dangers, but yet I feel compelled to lie on the couch instead of washing the dishes. I'm a paperwork person, I like to putter around my desk, but I feel like there's a kind of gray curtain between my and my to-do list that I can't penetrate.

 

As for the things that are truly awful, like my catastrophic financial problems and the possibility that my cat has cancer, the gray cloud doesn't distinguish between my dread of those things and my inability to get up and do the vacuuming.

 

Today I gave in and took my patented combo of .125 Xanax + 100 mg Adderall. The cloud has lifted and I'm able to... gasp! write a check and put together the package for my income tax! Write a check for the automatic camera speeding ticket that my town is using to generate revenue grrrr! But I can't exactly take that every day.

 

Now that I'm over the withdrawal and I have a handle on my baseline (familiar from the past, actually) I want to start over with a medication that's targeted and that doesn't fuzz my intellect, flatten my affect or make me sleepy.

My meds, all generic

Adderall 10 mg rarely

Atenolol 200 mg/day

Effexor XR 150 mg/day

Lamictal 100 mg/day

Lovastatin 20 mg/day

Trazodone 100 mg/nightly

Triamt/HCTZ (diuretic) 37.5-25 mg daily

Verapamil 480 mg/day

Xanax .125 mg rarely

 

Life is much too important to be taken seriously.

 

What do you know about your ancestors? Can I help you learn more?

Link to comment

I saw my doctor this morning and she put me on Lexapro. Off to do the research!

My meds, all generic

Adderall 10 mg rarely

Atenolol 200 mg/day

Effexor XR 150 mg/day

Lamictal 100 mg/day

Lovastatin 20 mg/day

Trazodone 100 mg/nightly

Triamt/HCTZ (diuretic) 37.5-25 mg daily

Verapamil 480 mg/day

Xanax .125 mg rarely

 

Life is much too important to be taken seriously.

 

What do you know about your ancestors? Can I help you learn more?

Link to comment

Create an account or sign in to comment

You need to be a member in order to leave a comment

Create an account

Sign up for a new account in our community. It's easy!

Register a new account

Sign in

Already have an account? Sign in here.

Sign In Now

×
×
  • Create New...

Important Information

Terms of Use Privacy Policy