Hopper: Fluoxetine withdrawal

[Hopper]

Hello all, 

 

I came across this site while in search of support groups for antidepressant withdrawal. It’s wonderful to find such a similar-minded and accepting community. Thank you for allowing me to join you.

 

My memory re: antidepressants is a little hazy, primarily because I feel so “checked out” when it comes to my medical history (I hate everything to do with meds; it makes me feel like I’m at the mercy of my doctor and I’m not in control of my own body/mind) - but I'll try my best.

 

I was first put on antidepressants (Lexapro) at the age of 16 for bulimia, depression and binge-eating. I did very well on it for about 1 year, maybe slightly longer, and then I moved away from home and started university. I quit the antidepressants on my own, only to suffer a rebound effect for the next 1.5 years. 

 

This was back in 2008. At some point during this time, I think I may have taken leftover antidepressants (the ones I didn’t use because I quit my meds cold-turkey). It was a very confusing, chaotic time. Most of the time I didn’t want to live. I self-harmed, binged, threw up, hid in my room, refused to meet people. 

 

I was put on antidepressants again (Fluoxetine) in 2012, when I saw my GP and a school counselor for bulimia. This time it went up to 60mg/day (instead of 20mg/day previously). I stayed at this dose for around 2 years, maybe more. I don’t remember much. 

 

**** hit the fan when I moved countries again, and this time I tried quitting my meds again. I think I tapered off, but there wasn’t any strategy to it. Sometimes I forgot to take my meds, sometimes I just didn’t care enough to take them. Fell into depression, bulimia, self-harm again, this time with the added side career of smoking cigarettes. I seriously considered suicide. 

 

I was put on antidepressants again (Fluoxetine, 60mg/day) in June 2016 (last year). Kept this up for a year, and began tapering off this May. I’ve been antidepressant-free since August 2017. 

 

I relate very much to the emotional spirals that have been mentioned in the thread here. I also struggle with obsessive thoughts. The worst part about this withdrawal phase is being afraid of my own mind. 

 

For all of September and October, I’ve done my best to deal with the feelings/thoughts that arise. In the last two weeks, however, part of me has just “checked out.” Since this withdrawal phase will likely continue for 6 months to a year, I reasoned that it's fine to drown my mind out with work and TV episodes online for now.

 

At some deeper level, I’m aware that this isn’t the best way to go about it. At some point, I'd like to approach it in a healthier way. 

 

Thank you all for letting me be here. Reading all your stories help. 

[Altostrata]

Welcome, Hopper.

 

Since you've seen our emotional spirals topic, you're in a good position to learn to manage your withdrawal symptoms and whatever emotional symptoms brought you to psychiatric drugs. You'll see many helpful topics in our Symptoms and Self-Care forum, and a lot of support for what you're going through.

 

How did you taper off fluoxetine? Did you have more distinct withdrawal symptoms before? How have they changed?

 

Many people do better with fish oil and magnesium supplements, see

http://survivingantidepressants.org/index.php?/topic/36-king-of-supplements-omega-3-fatty-acids-fish-oil/

 

http://survivingantidepressants.org/index.php?/topic/1300-magnesium-natures-calcium-channel-blocker/

 

A lot of people find them helpful. Try a little bit of one at a time to see how it affects you.

 

[Gridley]

Welcome, also, from me, Hopper,

 

We ask all members to create a drug signature.  Please use the following format:

 

A request: Would you summarize your history in a signature - ALL drugs, doses, dates, and discontinuations & reinstatements, in the last 12-24 months particularly?

• Please leave out symptoms and diagnoses.
• A list is easier to understand than one or multiple paragraphs. 

• Any drugs prior to 24 months ago can just be listed with start and stop years.
• Please use actual dates or approximate dates (mid-June, Late October) rather than relative time frames (last week, 3 months ago)
• Spell out months, e.g. "October" or "Oct."; 9/1/2016 can be interpreted as Jan. 9, 2016 or Sept. 1, 2016.
• Link to Account Settings – Create or Edit a signature.

 

This is your own Introduction topic where you can ask questions and journal your progress.