Downbutnotout: Started a bridge to get off effexor

[Downbutnotout]

I’m wondering if trazadone is effecting me adversely.  It’s now ll:36 and It’s the best I’ve felt all day. I am honestly afraid of taking the stupid little pill because I woke up so horribly last night at 2:45 a.m. Could I be having a bad reaction to this specific pill? 

[Downbutnotout]

I slept yesterday. Woke up saying to myself” you’re mentally ill and nobody can help you” . I never thought of myself as really mentally ill until now. I guess raging, acting violent, and giving up was never part of my thing before. Now I’m convinced im  too sick to be helped.,this us my new normal. I’m afraid to take the beads because they’re going to put me into a big depression like they did yesterday. I guess I’ll do it. The effexor when I quit was helping the anxiety but not the depression. It had pooped out. So I guess I can’t convince myself this is a good idea? Although everyone on here says the contrary.

 

did anyone reinstate things that were no longer working for them? 

[Downbutnotout]

15 hours ago, Downbutnotout said:

Thank you so much. Your story is very interesting. Yes, it makes me feel a little less alone, but this has been a horrible day. Last night was plain scary and I’m afraid of going through it again today. I am so tired to feeling hysterical and anxious. It’s been 6 months of experiencing this over and over.  Yes, thanks for the idea. 

I was in effexir our more like 20 years.,

[Downbutnotout]

1 hour ago, Downbutnotout said:

I slept yesterday. Woke up saying to myself” you’re mentally ill and nobody can help you” . I never thought of myself as really mentally ill until now. I guess raging, acting violent, and giving up was never part of my thing before. Now I’m convinced im  too sick to be helped.,this us my new normal. I’m afraid to take the beads because they’re going to put me into a big depression like they did yesterday. I guess I’ll do it. The effexor when I quit was helping the anxiety but not the depression. It had pooped out. So I guess I can’t convince myself this is a good idea? Although everyone on here says the contrary.

 

did anyone reinstate things that were no longer working for them?  

Is everyone on this site convinced that antidepressants have no therapeutic value? There is no help except therapy? It’s all a placebo effect? I am in bed because I’m depressed. Is there no medicinal help for me? 

[Downbutnotout]

16 hours ago, Downbutnotout said:

Thank you so much. Your story is very interesting. Yes, it makes me feel a little less alone, but this has been a horrible day. Last night was plain scary and I’m afraid of going through it again today. I am so tired to feeling hysterical and anxious. It’s been 6 months of experiencing this over and over.  Yes, thanks for the idea. 

Sounds like my reactions are similar to the one you describe. 

[Downbutnotout]

40 minutes ago, Downbutnotout said:

Is everyone on this site convinced that antidepressants have no therapeutic value? There is no help except therapy? It’s all a placebo effect? I am in bed because I’m depressed. Is there no medicinal help for me? 

you only updose if you’re side effects are from getting the medication out of your system? So how do I know my effects are from the medication bring out of my system or just bring depressed? I added 3 mg of Effexor back in but how do I know that’s really the problem? My effects are anxiety, horrible depression. But how do I know it’s from the effexir 6 weeks ago, the upping of trazadone or the short reinstatement if prozac which has made me insane? Jowceill I know the reinstatement of Effexor beads is going anything??

[Downbutnotout]

Here’s a communication from my psychiatrist after I asked her how long I had to wait before starting another drug. 

 

You could start the viibryd right away (the day after last dose prozac). Or you could wait a few days first before starting vibryiid. 

 

[Marmot]

Hey DBNO, 

 

I see you oscillating back and forth between pieces of advice. Its like you hate what meds did to you, and you're still looking for a new med to reduce the pain. It seems like you aren't happy with any of the options, possibly because they all involve pain or uncertainty. You seem well informed though, so now more advice might not actually help. It might be time for you to focus, choose a path, and really trust yourself on your decision. It sometimes helps to make a 4×4 pros and cons sheet with the different options. You might need someone to hep you make the chart if have brain fog. If your chosen path then doesn't work, there's no shame, you can then try something else, but you may at least feel more powerful over your life. Those are just my thoughts though - everyone has thoughts - you are in control. 

 

Cheers,

Marmot

[Downbutnotout]

22 hours ago, Downbutnotout said:

Thank you so much. Your story is very interesting. Yes, it makes me feel a little less alone, but this has been a horrible day. Last night was plain scary and I’m afraid of going through it again today. I am so tired to feeling hysterical and anxious. It’s been 6 months of experiencing this over and over.  Yes, thanks for the idea. 

 

22 hours ago, Downbutnotout said:

Thank you so much. Your story is very interesting. Yes, it makes me feel a little less alone, but this has been a horrible day. L

I got super depressed today. I am so frustrated. I’m not sure I should keep up with the effexor beads. Effexor was super depressing me before. It took the anxiety away immediately. I had a horrendous episode between 2:45 a.m. and 8:00 a.m.  My husband had to give me ice, rub my head, and I was a total wreck. I wanted to jump out of my self. I don’t know what I ever did to deserve this torment. Not only am I ruining my life, I’m ruining his too. He won’t be able to keep this up. How can he? 

 

I’m afraid it’s going to be a repeat performance tonight. How can I keep living like this? That’s why the “doctor” wanted to take me off effexor. It had reached the saturation point. Am I harming myself by introducting these effexor beads again? Is it keeping my brain from producing its own seratonin. Am i confusing my brain? 

 

We managed to take a walk today. 

 

All I want to do is lay in bed and go to sleep. This used to be a coping mechanism, and i can’t even do this. I can’t eat. 

 

Now I feel like I can’t go to the hospital because they will hype me up with drugs. I can’t do ect because it’s too dangerous and probably won’t help at all. I am really feeling hopeless. 

ast night was plain scary and I’m afraid of going through it again today. I am so tired to feeling hysterical and anxious. It’s been 6 months of experiencing this over and over.  Yes, thanks for the idea. 

 

[Downbutnotout]

Oh god, I just read dr. Shipko’s interview where he said some people never get over protracted drug withdrawal and they shouldn’t go off antidepressants. It made me feel terrific. Talk about dashing hopes. I’d just like to relax. 

[Downbutnotout]

On 12/21/2017 at 6:49 AM, AliG said:

Hi D. I hope you don't mind if I try to address some of your concerns in no particular order. It is more of a : general building of worry as to how you are doing overall and wanting to help you through this, as I know how very hard it can be at times.

 

I've noticed that you tend to panic and ask questions all over the place , when in fact ~ a lot of the time , they have already been answered here on your thread.This is understandably, often a W/D symptom so is very much , understood and accepted. Definitely ~ no judgement. 

 

 

I agree and you may want to read back through your thread to gain extra clarity ~ I understand you are in the middle of cyclonic/ wave - like conditions ~ not knowing your way out ; it's understandable and a place that most of us have unfortunately found ourselves, at various times throughout this experience, but if you can be a little more succinct and clear, it will perhaps go better and then we can perhaps start to slowly resolve this situation.

 

You ask if 3 beads is enough ~  the reasoning for starting so low in reinstating was, that you were very much sensitized and had already had such a bad reaction to 5 beads. There has also been a length of time. From memory, you went off your head and tried to throw yourself or your husband down the steps ! 

 

Therefore ~ it is often best to start low and work your way up , rather than the opposite , if you can handle any reinstatement at all, which was already highly questionable ~ hence the need for starting extremely low. It was suggested to start at 1 bead. These drugs are extremely strong and even 1 - 2 beads can make a big difference. The idea was to start low and work ( titrate) your way slowly up, if necessary. It's best to find the lowest effective dose. This is usually quite low, which often goes against the doctors's view of a "therapeutic dose". 

 

I have been trying to support you and it's a little bit difficult to hear that you have been totally on your own ~  it would be helpful to know what others are discussing with you via Pm . We always encourage very open discussion on individual threads, as it is easier to ascertain and understand perspectives and enables all, to offer their own particular point of view. It's a much more balanced discussion and can potentially help others, versus ~ a closed discussion which can often be unhelpful.

 

As to ECT. ~ it seems that some members have struggled somewhat, after this treatment. I wouldn't advise it ~ it can have repercussions. If you are serious about this ~ I can come back with some discussion. Mamma P has had some negative experience with this.  

 

My advice would be to read around and listen to other member's stories and situations ~ there is a lot of knowledge and information on this site if you are ready to hear and process it. Sometimes it can take some time and that is understandable. In a heightened state ~ it can sometimes be hard to process.

 

Please read some success stories and keep reading them ... also look up Robert Whittaker : You Tube ; " Psych Drugs Harm : Part 1/ 2 ".  Also Dr Peter Breggin. He has a 7 part series.

 

~ Symptoms and Self - Care. As we start to come off the drugs, we need to replace the negative emotions with the more positive actions ~ taking control and giving up the victim status. It's ok ~ we have all done it at one stage or another.It seems to be a part of it.

 

Non-drug techniques to cope with emotional symptoms. Perhaps you could start to read around some of the links on this site and get an idea of how to take some of that control back .Once you start to feel that, then I'm hoping you may start to feel a little better. 

 

 

I would hold for now , and not change anything. You are after stability ... not a new drug.

 

How long should I I hold at 3 beads? A month ? Is my objective to go back up and back down again. How far up should I plan on going? Today I felt light headed at lunch. Went swimming, and my head settled down. But then I feel a little hyper.  I am confused and insecure about doing this. 

[Downbutnotout]

I don’t know how I’m going to get through this. I’m light headed. I feel physical misery’’ Maybe I need to step up the beads. How do people manage this?  How long is this going to go on? Years/ Am I doing something wrong.?  I am counting the hours till I can take my trazadone. How am i going to socially interact? I have 2 places to go this weekend. How am I going to do it?  How am I going to hide this from people. I need to hide it from my daughter, her husband, and my grandson.  I think I was better off with upping trazadone to 100 mg. I wasn’t this sick. Except for a twitching eye.  Which scared me to death, or I would’ve probably followed the psychiatrists advice in helping my “depression.” 

 

I keep going back to the first pill I ever took. I hesitated and the doc said, “don’t worry its not addictive.” I keep thinking of him over and over. I almost didn’t take it. I had read the book , “I’m dancing as fast as I can” where the author had taken Valium under a doctor’s order. I should’ve thought of it harder. I should’ve just said NO! 

[RealMe]

38 minutes ago, Downbutnotout said:

I keep going back to the first pill I ever took. I hesitated and the doc said, “don’t worry its not addictive.” I keep thinking of him over and over. I almost didn’t take it. I had read the book , “I’m dancing as fast as I can” where the author had taken Valium under a doctor’s order. I should’ve thought of it harder. I should’ve just said NO! 

Hi Downbutnotout,

I understand you are going through a terrible time, and I want to encourage you if I can with a few thoughts that help me.  I try not to think about socially interacting until the day comes.  I take it minute by minute if I have to.  I try to get through this day, and maybe tomorrow will be a little better.

 

I heard of that book, but never read it.  I wish I had.  I remember the doctor who gave me my first Valium as if it were five minutes ago.  Today, I know I did the best I could at the time, and that's what I'm doing now--the best I can with what I know today.   I'm sure you are going to get better because you are here talking about how to recover, and there is a lot of hope here.

[Downbutnotout]

I can’t get over the people on here who are so strong to get through this. I just hope at age 67 I can get the strength From somewhere. Yes, i will keep your quote in mind, “ I take it minute by minute,  i will try to get through this day, and maybe tomorrow will be a little better. Thank you so much for answering me. I’ve been talking to myself, but I knew that’s what I would be doing. It helps. And I am quite the whiner.  Maybe I’ll start with magnesium, fish oil, and vitamin D. I’m actually afraid to get vitamins because everything is making me hyper.  I also tried proporanol a few times. It just made me depressed. Why do I keep thinking the answer will be wiith drugs when they haven’t done anything but make me sick. Although I thought effexor was he answer for many years. It wa probably the placebo effect. I bet that was it. 

[JustCallMeJane]

17 hours ago, Downbutnotout said:

I slept yesterday. Woke up saying to myself” you’re mentally ill and nobody can help you” . I never thought of myself as really mentally ill until now. I guess raging, acting violent, and giving up was never part of my thing before. Now I’m convinced im  too sick to be helped.,this us my new normal. I’m afraid to take the beads because they’re going to put me into a big depression like they did yesterday. I guess I’ll do it. The effexor when I quit was helping the anxiety but not the depression. It had pooped out. So I guess I can’t convince myself this is a good idea? Although everyone on here says the contrary.

 

did anyone reinstate things that were no longer working for them? 

Hi sweetie

 

I'm having another one of my panic modes at 3 am, so I thought I'd pop in. Please forgive me, as in this state I have very little patience for reading, so if I say something you've already said, it's cuz I scanned as opposed to reading the new messages.

 

First off I'd definitely shake you and say "you're not mentally ill". Ok, we have mental issues, some that came before the meds, some that have occurred AFTER the meds. And right now, those are the issues that are predominant in you. The meds, and subsequently the withdrawal of said meds, are wreaking havoc with our brains. We can't trust ourselves, our thoughts or our actions right now. And that includes tapering off these bleeping drugs.

 

I'm worried about you hun. You're like a strung out hummingbird, buzzing from feeder to feeder. Bouncing around on and off these drugs will %$#@! you up even worse than you are now. Of course, I'm no doctor, and I'm only coming from my personal experience. (Which, btw, going cold turkey was a big BIG mistake and would never ever ever recommend it to even my worst enemy.)

 

I have no clue how long you should remain on the number of beads you're on. I know the response here is "when you feel stable", which for us is hard to tell. I personally haven't felt "stable" in decades. I would aim to be at the same level for several weeks. Let your brain rewire itself to that level and then change something. That is unless you're in immediate danger of yourself, then that's a different scenario and changing would be best. 

 

I'm starting to forget what I was thinking...  Depression's a [bleep]. The withdrawals from these medications make depression look like a sunny day in the Bahamas. 

 

Take care hun (((hugs)))

[Downbutnotout]

Well, it’s 2 :35 a.m. and I am up with my 3 beads. I think I better change it. I can’t live like this. You’re right about depression being a  walk in the park. I was better off without the freaking beads. I took my 50 mg of trazadone  at 10:45pm but it didn’t last too long. How many years have you been trying to rewrite your brain?

 

I’m thinking it’s the trazadone that is lacking.  I took 100 mg for a couple of days. I might as well have gone cold turkey. 3 beads of effexor and 50 mg of trazadone are about as close to cold turkey as someone can get. 

 

I wish I had a doctor who knew what he heck they were doing.  I have ativan. You used it without getting addicted.? This is horrible. I don’t know how I’m going to get through the day.

 

Maybe the 3 beads aren’t working at all. How do I know? It’s been 6 weeks since I quit the effexor under the doctors orders. So, maybe I’m unable to reinstate?  

 

Where are the moderators to help me? Probably getting ready for Xmas. 

 

 

 

 

 

 

[JustCallMeJane]

1 hour ago, Downbutnotout said:

Well, it’s 2 :35 a.m. and I am up with my 3 beads. I think I better change it. I can’t live like this. You’re right about depression being a  walk in the park. I was better off without the freaking beads. I took my 50 mg of trazadone  at 10:45pm but it didn’t last too long. How many years have you been trying to rewrite your brain? I wish I had a doctor who knew what he heck they were doing.  I have ativan. You used it without getting addicted.? This is horrible. I don’t know how I’m going to get through the day. Maybe the 3 beads aren’t working at all. How do I know? It’s been 6 weeks since I quit the effexor under the doctors orders. So, maybe I’m unable to reinstate? 

8

 

I was diagnosed with major depression disorder in my teens, however, my first suicide attempt was when I was 7. I couldn't tell you how many drugs I've been on and off since then (I'm 49 now). 

 

I guess I was lucky. I have had 2 family doctors in my life, and neither liked prescribing Ativan. A blessing in retrospect, a curse (and oh boy did I curse) at the time. I'd only be prescribed a week to 10 days worth at a time (15 days was my max allowed). One tab a day, usually 0.5mg, I can only remember a handful of times when I was prescribed 1mg tabs. Through my teens and early 20s, my family doc let me have a prescription once a year. He even fought me a few years saying I didn't need them. I'd curse him, storm out of the appointment and leave my mom to deal with him. My current family doctor (previous one retired) is of the same mindset as my old one... "Ativan is a very strong, addictive drug only to be used in dire emergencies". So I didn't get a chance to get addicted.

 

I've been off drugs for 40 days now. Cold turkey. Wouldn't recommend it. My depression comes and goes. It's easier to deal with than the withdrawals. That being said, when the depression flares up, I'm an emotional wreck, cry at the drop of a hat,  and I wonder if I can get through it. So far, the answer is yes. It doesn't feel like it in the moment. But one step at a time, one hour at a time, I get through it.

[Kristine]

5 hours ago, RealMe said:

I understand you are going through a terrible time, and I want to encourage you if I can with a few thoughts that help me.  I try not to think about socially interacting until the day comes.  I take it minute by minute if I have to.  I try to get through this day, and maybe tomorrow will be a little better.

Hi DBNO, I can really relate to Realme's advice, that's what I do.  Currently my husband is at our neighbours for Christmas drinks.  I couldn't go because it's a larger crowd and I'm not feeling great.  I always decided at the last minute. Otherwise I stress out to much. K

[Gridley]

Exactly, Kristine.  Always protect yourself.  If you can't do it, don't.  "Normal" rules of social propriety don't apply in WD.

[Altostrata]

Catching up with your topic, dbno, it strikes me that this is your primary problem:

17 hours ago, Downbutnotout said:

I slept yesterday. Woke up saying to myself” you’re mentally ill and nobody can help you” . I never thought of myself as really mentally ill until now. I guess raging, acting violent, and giving up was never part of my thing before. Now I’m convinced im  too sick to be helped.,this us my new normal. I’m afraid to take the beads because they’re going to put me into a big depression like they did yesterday. I guess I’ll do it. The effexor when I quit was helping the anxiety but not the depression. It had pooped out. So I guess I can’t convince myself this is a good idea? Although everyone on here says the contrary.

 

did anyone reinstate things that were no longer working for them? 

 

I'm not saying you're mentally ill, but you believe it so strongly you are doing many things to sabotage yourself. Among them: Changing drugs and dosages frequently and denying that anything is working.

 

As we've explained to you, when you go on and off drugs, it can take some time for your nervous system to settle down. While this is happening, you will have waves of symptoms, including spurts of anxiety and sleeplessness, as well as windows of comparative calm.

 

Everything you've reported about taking 3 beads of Effexor suggests that it's doing something beneficial in taking the edge of withdrawal syndrome. You also report being able to sleep sometimes, which is a lot better than no sleep at all.

 

You appear to be in a cycle of expecting immediate gratification from drugs -- even though we tell you this is not going to happen -- alternating with searing self-blame and complaining of "depression", which in your mind necessitates more drugs.

 

You need to make a decision. Are you going to unpatient yourself or will you continue to go to doctors begging them to fix you, knowing all they can offer is more drugs?

 

Yes, you need a different therapist. You know that, too. If you don't want to hear you need drugs, don't go to that kind of doctor and therapist. 

 

You might find someone who will coach you to manage your obsessiveness and impulsivity -- if you want to unpatient yourself.

 

Yes, withdrawal syndrome is a torment. If you looked at other Introductions topics, you'd see that many people are experiencing the same things. I'm going to say to you what we say to everyone experiencing withdrawal syndrome: You need to take responsibility and take care of yourself, stay as calm as you can, let symptoms pass, and have the patience to heal. If you don't want to do this, or think you can do this, we probably can't help you here, we're only a peer support Web site.

 

By the way, if you choose to take responsibility for your healing, take the Effexor and trazodone at the same time each day, don't get random with other drugs, and keep daily notes on paper about your symptoms, when you take your drugs, and their dosages.

 

 

 

[Downbutnotout]

I was having an anxiety attack, big time, for 2:a.m. until 8::a.m. My husband calmed me down by rubbing my head. I took my 3 beads. Is this enough? . Should I be having a 6 hour anxiety attack? Does that mean reinstatement is not working.? The 3 beads did seem to help a little afterwards. HELP!!!!!

[Downbutnotout]

6 hours ago, Altostrata said:

By the way, if you choose to take responsibility for your healing, take the Effexor and trazodone at the same time each day, don't get random with other drugs, and keep daily notes on paper about your symptoms, when you take your drugs, and their dosages.

 

I am doing that. When do I up the effexor? Should I have had anxiety for 6 hours? 

6 hours ago, Altostrata said:

 

[Downbutnotout]

Thanks so much. As the medicine is leaving my system , all the things it’s covered up is coming front and center. I got fired from a volunteer job, but I lost some other jobs along the way. I’ve done some stupid things and they must have been covered up with the medication. I know several years ago, when I quit the medication a bunch of the same stuff came  up and was covered up by the medicine. I had made a new life for myself but that unraveled with making the same mistakes. I think that’s the root of my anxiety. Plus now with all these horrible withdrawal things I’ve done I have more guilt. I was trying to throw myself down the stairs, was punching and kicking, The withdrawal raging and violence is in a class by itself. I did call my therapist and said I have to get at the root of all this. But I guess I have to figure it out by myself. I know  logically I’m not really a bad person but not emotionally.  Idont want  to be taking seroquel and lithium because I want to cover stuff up. Then I have the family history of people losing it over the years. My way of coping is to get depressed . I have had more than one scary episode. But I have to say this one is pretty bad, snd has lasted the longest. I also am much more anxious. I have to say I felt physically sick at lunch. My head felt light headed. I forced myself to hi swimming and I feel better . 3 beads of Effexor and 50 mg of  trazadone doesn’t seem like much support. If it is actually a good thing? I’ve been so brainwashed to think medicine is the solution. I really thought effexor helped me over the years, but was that just the placebo effect? I wish I knew. I would really love to get off this stuff once and for all. I have the memory of those 4 months when I enjoyed food, could cry, deeply sleep , feel emotion, and felt like myself. But then it all crashed. I wish I would’ve had this site then. 

22 hours ago, Marmot said:

Hey DBNO, 

 

I see you oscillating back and forth between pieces of advice. Its like you hate what meds did to you, and you're still looking for a new med to reduce the pain. It seems like you aren't happy with any of the options, possibly because they all involve pain or uncertainty. You seem well informed though, so now more advice might not actually help. It might be time for you to focus, choose a path, and really trust yourself on your decision. It sometimes helps to make a 4×4 pros and cons sheet with the different options. You might need someone to hep you make the chart if have brain fog. If your chosen path then doesn't work, there's no shame, you can then try something else, but you may at least feel more powerful over your life. Those are just my thoughts though - everyone has thoughts - you are in control. 

 

Cheers,

Marmot

 

[Downbutnotout]

1 hour ago, Downbutnotout said:

I am doing that. When do I up the effexor? Should I have had anxiety for 6 hours? 

 

1 hour ago, Downbutnotout said:

I am doing that. When do I up the effexor? Should I have had anxiety for 6 hours? 

Thanks for answering me. You’re correct of course. Put up or shut up. I’m just afraid things will never get better. If I only had that hope I could do this. 

[Downbutnotout]

7 hours ago, Altostrata said:

Catching up with your topic, dbno, it strikes me that this is your primary problem:

 

I'm not saying you're mentally ill, but you believe it so strongly you are doing many things to sabotage yourself. Among them: Changing drugs and dosages frequently and denying that anything is working.

 

As we've explained to you, when you go on and off drugs, it can take some time for your nervous system to settle down. While this is happening, you will have waves of symptoms, including spurts of anxiety and sleeplessness, as well as windows of comparative calm.

 

Everything you've reported about taking 3 beads of Effexor suggests that it's doing something beneficial in taking the edge of withdrawal syndrome. You also report being able to sleep sometimes, which is a lot better than no sleep at all.

 

You appear to be in a cycle of expecting immediate gratification from drugs -- even though we tell you this is not going to happen -- alternating with searing self-blame and complaining of "depression", which in your mind necessitates more drugs.

 

You need to make a decision. Are you going to unpatient yourself or will you continue to go to doctors begging them to fix you, knowing all they can offer is more drugs?

 

Yes, you need a different therapist. You know that, too. If you don't want to hear you need drugs, don't go to that kind of doctor and therapist. 

 

You might find someone who will coach you to manage your obsessiveness and impulsivity -- if you want to unpatient yourself.

 

Yes, withdrawal syndrome is a torment. If you looked at other Introductions topics, you'd see that many people are experiencing the same things. I'm going to say to you what we say to everyone experiencing withdrawal syndrome: You need to take responsibility and take care of yourself, stay as calm as you can, let symptoms pass, and have the patience to heal. If you don't want to do this, or think you can do this, we probably can't help you here, we're only a peer support Web site.

 

By the way, if you choose to take responsibility for your healing, take the Effexor and trazodone at the same time each day, don't get random with other drugs, and keep daily notes on paper about your symptoms, when you take your drugs, and their dosages.

 

 

 

 

[Downbutnotout]

Thanks for answering me. I am just looking for a little hope. I know I have to put up or shut up.  It’s so hard for be.

[Altostrata]

5 hours ago, Downbutnotout said:

I was having an anxiety attack, big time, for 2:a.m. until 8::a.m. My husband calmed me down by rubbing my head. I took my 3 beads. Is this enough? . Should I be having a 6 hour anxiety attack? Does that mean reinstatement is not working.? The 3 beads did seem to help a little afterwards. HELP!!!!!

 

It appears that reinstatement is working, weakly, but because there's so much static in your reports -- since you freak out over symptoms -- it's hard to tell what's happening.

 

Are you keeping daily notes on paper about your symptoms, when you take your drugs, and their dosages? If you don't, I can't help you and I will not be responding to your posts.

 

3 hours ago, Downbutnotout said:

 

Thanks for answering me. You’re correct of course. Put up or shut up. I’m just afraid things will never get better. If I only had that hope I could do this. 

 

You are the only person who can give yourself that hope. This is the challenge for all of us, to find that strength within ourselves. No amount of panicky posting on this site will provide this to you. You need to do it yourself.

[Downbutnotout]

I am! I take trazadone 50 mg at 10:45 pm and effexir 3 beads at 8:30 am . I have had below par day. I’m watching movies with my grandson and having trouble concentrating. I’m scared as usual. 

[Altostrata]

How did you feel from about 10 a.m. to 3 p.m.?

 

Were difficulty concentrating and feeling scared your only symptoms when you posted an hour ago?

 

You have taken 3 beads of Effexor for only 6 days. We've told you it can take time to fully take effect, correct?

[Downbutnotout]

From 10 to 12 I felt a bit of relief from the anxiety leaving. If my dtr hadn’t called me, I wouldn’t have gotten up. I feel no feelings for anyone or anything. Not even my grandson. I told my dtr how lousy I feel. She wants me to try and not give up. I would give up anything to just feel normal for a day again. 

 

Yes it’s been 6 days. 

 

I cant handle the awful anxiety. It occurs every other night for around 5 or 6 hours....

 

I feel I’m  really more depressed and lower than yesterday. 

 

I cant really eat. I have had to force myself. I used to love to eat. That’s been since the depression started. It’s gotten worse. 

 

Thank you ....

 

 

 

[Altostrata]

2 hours ago, Downbutnotout said:

I cant handle the awful anxiety. It occurs every other night for around 5 or 6 hours....

 

Is this literally true? It occurs every other night? What time does it start? Are you still taking trazodone?

 

Emotional anesthesia is a very common side effect of antidepressants. It can take some time to go away after you quit. Is this what you call "feeling lousy"?

[Downbutnotout]

1 hour ago, Altostrata said:

 

Is this literally true? It occurs every other night? What time does it start? Are you still taking trazodone?

 

Emotional anesthesia is a very common side effect of antidepressants. It can take some time to go away after you quit. Is this what you call "feeling lousy"?

Yes, I'm still taking trazadone, but it wears off after 2 hours. It did last night. And the night before. I've slept every other night. Before I started this cut, the trazadone would last until about 3. For about a week , I would stagger them, and take another one. In the same time, the doctor suggested I take 100 and I did this for 3 days until my eye started twitching. That scared me so I stopped. 10 days ago I attempted it again, trying to get my mood up.at this point I'm pretty desperate.  it did have a bit of a positive effect, but my eye was twitching a lot so I stopped again.  But really I'm wondering if I should've kept it going. But I'm sure would've gotten worse with the increase of medicine she  would've asked me to make. I'm sure she would've aimed for the highest dose.,

 

It starts when I wake up about 2 am . I have a feeling it's going to keep going. 

 

When i I was taking 75 mg of Effexor, I would take it after I woke up and it would take care of the anxiety , but I was depressed all day. 

 

what happened today when the Effexor starts wearing off about 7 or 8 pm is I start thinking about when I got fired from the volunteer job, then I start thinking about all the jobs I lost and I feel really bad and hurt and I can't stand it. That pain is real.  That's a precursor to my anxiety. I started to feel lightheaded in my forehead. 

 

I actually put a hot hot compress on my head and that seemed to help. 

 

I am really suffering a lot, and I think all the stuff the antidepressants covered is coming front and center. I've tried to deal with this stuff but somehow it's stuck. 

 

So so whether I need an antidepressant to suppress this stuff is what I'm questioning. It had worked several years ago. However, after reading through this site I realize they will all probably just continue giving me side effects and not help. 

 

 

So what im getting out of this is that it's hopeless. 

 

 

 

 

 

 

[Altostrata]

1 hour ago, Downbutnotout said:

Is this literally true? It occurs every other night? What time does it start? Are you still taking trazodone?

 

I don't understand your response to my question. Does the "awful anxiety" literally occur every other night or does it occur every night? Or does it occur occasionally?

 

If it's a result of your compulsive ruminations, perhaps you should take steps to stop them, for example, CBT or meditation.

 

I would very much appreciate a concise, direct answer to any question I ask. Getting information from you is an overly difficult process.

 

Quote

 

So what im getting out of this is that it's hopeless.

 

 
That's what you're getting out of what we tell you?

 

You're very close to convincing me that it's a waste of my time to respond to you. You do not seem to pay attention to my questions or my explanations. No one, particularly someone on an Internet forum site, can change the mind of someone with such fixed preconceptions.

 

You may be better off at PatientsLikeMe.com or depressionforums.org

 

[peng]

Yes, acute anxiety symptoms on early waking "every other night" sounds anomalous to me, based on the scores of nights experience I suffered (years ago.)

Unless, you are taking a tranquilliser/sedative that fluctuates in dose on alternate 24-hour periods?

 

Just a small thing, but maybe one less to worry about.  Personally, I wouldn't ruminate much on the "twitching eye" symptom.  I had this countless times on night shifts over 40 years ago ago and, indeed, it has returned recently in withdrawal.  Possibly just due to stress and tiredness (but I am not a doctor.)  I have survived to the age of 72 so far.

 

"Switch channels" when you remember how upsetting the memory of losing a non-vital (to you) job has been.

 

Think of things getting better, rather than mulling over crap that has happened months ago - it is difficult, and many of us here know that and can relate to your ruminations.

Dismiss thoughts of toxic people in your life "they ain't worth it" as you would say in the US.

[Downbutnotout]

6 hours ago, Altostrata said:

 

I don't understand your response to my question. Does the "awful anxiety" literally occur every other night or does it occur every night? Or does it occur occasionally?

 

If it's a result of your compulsive ruminations, perhaps you should take steps to stop them, for example, CBT or meditation.

 

I would very much appreciate a concise, direct answer to any question I ask. Getting information from you is an overly difficult process.

 

 
That's what you're getting out of what we tell you?

 

You're very close to convincing me that it's a waste of my time to respond to you. You do not seem to pay attention to my questions or my explanations. No one, particularly someone on an Internet forum site, can change the mind of someone with such fixed preconceptions.

 

You may be better off at PatientsLikeMe.com or depressionforums.org

 

I’m afraid that’s what you were going to say.  I’m sorry I said that.  I know that must be so frustrating to hear when you’re trying to help someone. I’ve really had a lot of ups and downs with medicine because I was stopped and started so abruptly. By myself and my doctor. 

 

The debilitating anxiety happens at least 2 hours a day. It seems to happen when the effexor beads wear off.   I was having it when I wrote my last response saying I felt so hopeless. 

 

So far, I’ve had really bad anxiety that kept me up for 5 hours every other night. So 3/6 days I’ve been horribly anxious and stayed up every other night. 

 

I have felt dizzy and think something is going on in my head, and that is scary. 

 

 I slept  for around 6 hours and felt better this morning. Please forgive me for saying I felt hopeless. Please don’t kick me off this site or stop responding to me. I already started this process and I don’t want to be left alone with it. I want you to know how much I appreciate the effort you put into trying to help me.

 

I want to believe i will stabilize. And this all will work. 

 

I hope you have a merry Christmas. 

 

 

[Downbutnotout]

5 hours ago, peng said:

Yes, acute anxiety symptoms on early waking "every other night" sounds anomalous to me, based on the scores of nights experience I suffered (years ago.)

Unless, you are taking a tranquilliser/sedative that fluctuates in dose on alternate 24-hour periods?

 

Just a small thing, but maybe one less to worry about.  Personally, I wouldn't ruminate much on the "twitching eye" symptom.  I had this countless times on night shifts over 40 years ago ago and, indeed, it has returned recently in withdrawal.  Possibly just due to stress and tiredness (but I am not a doctor.)  I have survived to the age of 72 so far.

 

"Switch channels" when you remember how upsetting the memory of losing a non-vital (to you) job has been.

 

Think of things getting better, rather than mulling over crap that has happened months ago - it is difficult, and many of us here know that and can relate to your ruminations.

Dismiss thoughts of toxic people in your life "they ain't worth it" as you would say in the US.

The eye twitch was definitely related to the trazadone. I think I am exhausted from staying up all night, so that’s why it goes on a every other night cycle. Thanks fir answering me. I wish I could turn off worrying about the past but it’s part of the whole thing.