tezza: risperdal withdrawal

[tezza]

Well, seems the insomnia has come back and even worse. No sleep this night I'm trying everything. Blackout shades, supplements,etc. I just made the cut from .088 to .080g by weight. I haven't tried Seriphos or lactium yet. I'm getting desperate, depressed and discouraged. I'm overdoing with soma, Xanax and diphenhydramine. I will probably use ambien,occasionally,as well. My BP is running 80s over 50s at times, other times it spikes. My pulse gets higher than 150. This is noticed after I take Risperdal at night (low BP). I really don't know how much longer I can live like this. Is this due to the most recent taper? Is it because I might have left neurontin off two nights ago(only one) . I also have a mild headache. I can't think straight most of the time. I ask myself -- is it worth it to go on-- will I ever get better? Only God knows... Although, I don't want to die right now--something keeps telling me that I can end this misery. This is nothing new, only more frequently. Oh Lord, I need something. I would actually take street drugs if it would help but I know that is not feasible. I wish I could take my brain out and just fix it. This is a stupid post and I know this, just hoping that keeping the journal will help in some way, even if it helps someone else. The deep,dark depression hasn't returned and for this I am so thankful. My main cause of depression now is because I can't see the light at the end of the tunnel. Will I ever be right again? This is the worse trial I've ever faced. I'm 55 yrs old. I don't think I have a long time left to overcome this and that's what makes me wonder if it is worth the mental anguish, not to mention what my family is going through. They have been great support and I hate for them to keep putting up with me. I try to be better when they are around. God help us all!

[tezza]

I feel worthless in this condition

[tezza]

I did sleep until 4:20 yesterday morning but none this night. Its 6:20 am here and raining. I'm not fond of rain, maybe of I could sleep...it's been raining for a few days.

 

I must have lots of cortisol. I've had a full hysterectomy but weaned myself off HRT about three years ago. I had terrible hot flashes when I CTd off Risperdal and until I got it back into my system.

[Brandy]

Tezza, I'm sorry to hear you're having such a difficult time.

 

I'm editing this message because I just re-read this thread and saw the answer to the question I'd raised. I should know I don't think clearly when I'm as tired as I am now! Sorry about that!

 

But now I'm wondering if what you wrote a little while ago:

 

Is it because I might have left neurontin off two nights ago(only one) .

might account for the fact that you're having a harder time now.

 

I'm not personally familiar with neurontin, but hope others here can advise you about that. And I hope you feel better soon!

[tezza]

Alto: thank-you for the links you added. Thanks for everything you and others here are doing.

[tezza]

Brandy: thank you for reading and responding so promptly.

[Whatever]

Are you saying that you have increased your dosages of Soma and Xanax and are also taking diphenhydramine (the main ingredient in OTC antihistamines)?

 

Is this in order to induce sleep and or reduce anxiety? And instead you are still experiencing insomnia?

 

Precisely how much Soma, Xanax and diphenhydramine are you taking?

 

All three of those meds can cause depression. 

[Barbarannamated]

 

I must have lots of cortisol. I've had a full hysterectomy but weaned myself off HRT about three years ago. I had terrible hot flashes when I CTd off Risperdal and until I got it back into my system.

 

Q: Am I understanding correctly that you are back ON HRT now

 

My endocrinologist just put me on low dose estrogen and progesterone ~my FSH was very high (190+) indicating ovarian failure~ his opinion *seemed* to be that postmenopausal women will be depressed if estrogen is not supplemented~

I haven't been keeping up on the HRT guidelines ~

 

I'm sorry you're feeling so low

[tezza]

Whatever-I'm taking three Xanax and three soma per day and also the OTC sleepaid. Yes, I'm doing this primarily to induce sleep. I was already taking two of each. One of each was at bedtime and the other of each throughout the day. The last two nights. I took the other during the wee morning hours. But, I just tapered the Risperdal by what I think was a small amount. In weight - from .088 to .078g. A whole 1mg tablet weighs .207g. Could it be from that?

[tezza]

Barb: I haven't taken any HRT for a few years. Thanks to you and Whatever for reading and showing concern.

[tezza]

I've thought about trying Estrovan. (Herbal) I just had hot flashes recently when I was in bad WD. Usually when I would wake up during the night. At those times it was like I was startled awake. So far I'm just experiencing the insomnia with anxiety. I don't think the depression is much worse. I was actually able to laugh a couple of times last night. When I CTd the Risperdal I couldn't hold my head up, let alone laugh. I really think most of my depression right now is the fact that I'm having trouble trying to stop meds. I've never did anything I had trouble stopping other than cigarettes.

[tezza]

I'm also more depressed when I don't sleep well. I hadn't done a taper for at least a month and half. I was hoping not to get the insomnia again although I wasn't sleeping normally already. But, I had gotten to the point that I could go back to sleep. I was waking and getting up around 6:30 until night before last. I used to sleep till after 8:00 or later before the CT in September

[Whatever]

Tezza I am so sorry for what you are going through, I remember feeling in the gutter myself.

 

What I am about to share is anecdotal only. Recently I held the hand of a friend who had tapered from Seroquel. Seroquel is an atypical antipsychotic like Risperdal. She suffered from horrible insomnia. She would find herself in the middle of the night gobbling various combinations of sleep inducing meds including:

 

Xanax

Lunesta

Ambien

Trazadone

Natural supplements such as Melatonin and a compound called Somatomax which contained multiple amino acids

 

Although she would take these in various combinations, they just didn't work well. She said at best she would squeeze out a few hours of sleep and she wouldn't fall asleep till 4:00 or 6:00 AM. She also said that her depression was off the charts; and that when she didn't take the Ambien her depression was not as bad. 

 

So based on her experience and yours I have to wonder if there is something about WD from atypical antipsychotics that cancels out the effects of benzos, Z drugs (Lunesta and Ambien) and other agents which are CNS depressants like Soma. Unfortnutately I cannot find any hard evidence to support my suspicion.

 

I cannot speak to whether your recent cut is too large or not. I trust Alto and others with more experience with tapering will post soon.

[Barbarannamated]

Seroquel is being used for insomnia but I'm not certain which of its properties (anti-dopamine or histamine etc) causes the severe sedation ~Risperdal is not as sedating but it stands to reason that withdrawing them may cause sleep problems ~

 

Insomnia and pain cause the worst depression for me ~being awake in the dark of nite when everyone else is sleeping soundly is maddening

 

NOTE : FRIGHTENING that Seroquel is being used as a sleeper

[tezza]

Thank you, Whatever. Just knowing that I'm connected with someone helps. I tend to stay inside my little world,alone, too much. I'm just too tired to do anything or go anywhere. I hope this is as bad as this taper gets, if it is the taper. I just wish so much I could rest (actually sleep). I'm so tired.

[tezza]

Also, your friend's actions sound just like me.

[tezza]

You are so right, Barb!

[Whatever]

Insomnia and pain cause the worst depression for me ~being awake in the dark of nite when everyone else is sleeping soundly is maddening

 

Yes! I have been there. And bizarre thoughts go through my head in the sleepless dead of night. Like considering to try to obtain heroin so I could knock myself out. (Of course this is not an option for a billion reasons). So, Tezza you are not alone with thinking about street drugs.

[tezza]

Yeah, I would never add that or alcohol to my list. But, I just feel so envious of people who can sleep. Ain't I awful!

[Barbarannamated]

Oh those bizarre nighttime thoughts are scary

[tezza]

I'm gonna force myself to go on an errand with hubby. I always feel a little better getting out of the house.

[tezza]

Y'all are so helpful, and I know you all have your own struggles. Y'all are so brave and strong. I've read most of your posts (in various topics). I'm sorry for the pain y'all have, too.

[tezza]

I'm pretty sure this is coming from the taper.

[Barbarannamated]

I'm gonna force myself to go on an errand with hubby. I always feel a little better getting out of the house.

 

I agree 100% and yet struggle so much to do anything or get out ~

[Whatever]

I'm pretty sure this is coming from the taper.

 

Yes, I think you right.

 

I know it's hard to leave the safe confines of your house when your energy and mood are low. But, getting out is a good thing - especially if the hubby is the chauffeur. Isolating just makes everything worse. I know when I was in WD there were times I would stay home for days, and couldn't handle humans at all, so much so that I couldn't bear to watch TV. Of course daytime television is banal even when one is med free.

[Altostrata]

tezza, once your system has been sensitized by withdrawal, changes in other medication can make symptoms worse.

 

I would keep absolutely consistent with dosages of Neurontin, Lamictal, etc. These have their withdrawal difficulties, too.

 

It is possible you are having rebound insomnia from reducing Risperdal. It's important to keep calm throughout the symptoms. I know insomnia is very, very difficult to cope with.

 

Still, try not to take excessive amounts of the other medications. This is destabilizing, also benzos can cause paradoxical effects, and, with all the other CNS depressants you're taking, you could overdose and end up in the hospital.

 

This is why it's very, very important for you to find a pain specialist who will review ALL your drugs and how they may interact. Please do that right away.

[Whatever]

Still, try not to take excessive amounts of the other medications. This is destabilizing, also benzos can cause paradoxical effects, and, with all the other CNS depressants you're taking, you could overdose and end up in the hospital.

 

And please do NOT add Ambien to the mix. Ambien + Benzos + Lorcet + Soma = High probability of overdosing. Just read the list of drugs that caused Heath Ledger's death:

 

http://men.webmd.com/news/20080206/accidental-overdose-killed-heath-ledger

 

Besides, Ambien is a highly addictive drug which is similar to benzos and can be extremely difficult to WD from.

[tezza]

Thank you Alto and Whatever; I will try my best to stay consistent with other meds. I don't want to cause myself any extra grief. I wont take the Ambien either. It never helped before anyway. I do think the insomnia is from the taper. Thank you both for the good advice. I don't want to OD. I am trying to do the right things as much as I can. Hopefully this taper wont be really hard to take. I realize there will be some discomfort.

[tezza]

Alto: thank you for that link, that is really scary! I will check into the pain management doc as well.

[tezza]

I remember once when I was taking .5 of Risperdal that I was afraid to go to bed for a while because it felt like I was forgetting to breathe. I wasn't even taking the Neurontin then. I had stopped taking it prior. I started back when I was having the insomnia before but now I wish I hadn't. Now I'm afraid to upset my nervous system by stopping it. I did get some Magnesium and DHEA. My BP and heart rate get weird after I take meds at night. I will try to stay calm. I want to live to pay it forward.

[tezza]

I just read niknash and that scares me...do y'all think that will happen to me? Oh God, help Niknash! Does that eventually happen to all?

[tezza]

That was the second time I'd read it. The first time it didn't dawn on me if this happens to all of us. I'm so sorry but this has got me terrified that I've been in denial or something . Please forgive me if I'm wrong for asking this.

[Altostrata]

tezza, niknash did not gradually taper off a medication. Like so many people, her doctor told her the wrong way to do it.

 

We advise slow, gradual tapering to reduce the risk of severe and prolonged withdrawal syndrome.

 

Everyone is different. If you carefully manage your taper, you will be less likely to have these problems.

[tezza]

Ok, thank you. My thoughts and prayers go out for all suffering.

[tezza]

Thank God, I slept much better last night! I just wanted to post something positive. The sun is shining here today and that is a big help to me. I actually want to try to do some cleaning other than the usual. I will be glad when Spring gets here, I think that will help me to feel better. I'm so sorry because I know there are others here that are suffering so much. Of course, I'm not well, but I'm grateful for any time that I can feel some relief. Many thanks, to you all that gave me your support yesterday.

[Nadia]

Hearing you are experiencing something positive is wonderful, tezza. I wish you much more sunshine and restful sleep.