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Kristine
1 hour ago, Rabe said:

Im so sad for that Kristine...perhaps there is something good in having those emotions rise to the surface....to be soothed by the water you have found to soothe your soul.  I hope so.  Your strength continues to touch me in so many ways!!  Much love and hugs to you!  💜

Hey Dearest Rabe, Thank you for you beautifully kind words. I don’t feel very strong at all but thank you for saying so. I think you are right about emotions rising to the surface is a good thing. And the more we decrease these medications the more we will feel. The good and the bad. I’ve been trying to read your thread and you are dealing with so very much! I have such terrible cognitive issues that I was finding it difficult to decipher...that’s why I left such a simple message on you thread! Much Love and (((hugs))) K 💖 xox

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Carmie

Just wanted to say good night Kristine, and I hope that tomorrow is a better day for you.

 

Sending hugs🤗💚

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FarmGirlWorks
11 hours ago, Kristine said:

I actually said out loud “f*** you withdrawal I’m going to the beach!” So I got that vagus nerve stimulated.

Hahaha! I love that attitude and love that you were able to make it to the beach and befriend a bird.

 

There was a jogger here who was attacked at a beach bathhouse when she stopped in to go to the bathroom. She fought off the attacker and yelled, "Not Today, Mother F***er!" Which became the battle cry acronym "NTMF!" I sometimes say that to WD and the dark depression it engenders. The depression doesn't go away but I feel a little empowered.

 

Hugs!

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Kristine

Thank you for your messages Carmie, I don’t think I could get into a cold bath but I do have cold showers. Bathing in the ocean is so calming not just because of the cold water. Of course, it’s the salt water (many natural minerals including magnesium), wildlife, ocean sounds, fresh air, movement of the water current around my body and I get a sense I freedom and safety. 

 

I was so so sad to read about your experiences with ECT. It’s is barbaric and medieval. The last time I had ECT I was also suffering from akathisia and WD but didn’t understand what was happening to me at the time. I also think it’s criminal you were put on 300mg of Seroquel when you already had an exsisting condition of CFS. Maybe you should consider a letter of complaint. 

12 hours ago, Carmie said:

What helped was fasterEFT. I still remember what happened but there is no longer an emotional connection to hospitals. Some people use the normal EFT but I like the FasterEft as it’s much easier n extremely effective. There are I think there are a few thousand videos on YouTube now. 

I have done this in the past. I think for me, at the moment at least, I need to focus on very basic self care techniques. Very basic breathing meditation, aromatherapy, loving kindness etc...then later on when I’m a little further through this WD journey I can start to tackle all the loss, grief and anger feelings. Right now (as I said on my benzo thread ) I just need to give these feelings space and move on to productive self care. I can revisit, for example, CBT and EFT in the future. I just can’t think properly at the moment. Even the thought of trying to focus on repetitive tapping is just too much. 

 

Much Love and (((hugs))) K xo

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Rosetta

I'm so happy to read that you can sleep!!  That is wonderful.  I'm glad that you can walk and get to the beach, too.  Improvements!  They will keep coming.  Love, Rosetta

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Kristine

Oh dearest FGW, LOL!!! 

1 hour ago, FarmGirlWorks said:

Not Today, Mother F***er!" Which became the battle cry acronym "NTMF!"

this is going to become my morning mantra...I’ve already said it three times!

 

1 hour ago, FarmGirlWorks said:

I sometimes say that to WD and the dark depression it engenders. The depression doesn't go away but I feel a little empowered.

....I’m so glad you feel a little empowered after saying it. I can relate so much to this dark depression...I’m so sorry it keeps sticking to you. Often I feel like it’s like a giant mass of Heavy hot tar which is poured all over my body and oozing through my veins and filling my brain. Making every task and movement mammoth and seemingly impossible effort. Grrrr. 

 

Much love and of course Hugs!!! K xo

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Kristine
1 hour ago, Rosetta said:

I'm so happy to read that you can sleep!!  That is wonderful.  I'm glad that you can walk and get to the beach, too.  Improvements!  They will keep coming.  Love, Rosetta

Oh dearest Rosetta, Sleep has been such a blissful escape and I am so grateful. I’m trying so hard to focus on the improvements rather than the ongoing withdrawal difficulties. This is such a tiring and seemingly relentless journey. Thinking of you often my dear friend. We will get there eventually. Much Love and (((hugs))) K xo

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Kristine

I wrote this about a year ago.....

On 12/10/2017 at 1:01 PM, Kristine said:

Strangley, I have completely lost my ability to be creative (particularly over the past 3 months), could this be the Fluoxitine? I used to draw, paint and cook as a creative and calming outlet.  It is like feeling dead inside but hypervigilent at the same time.  I'm in a constant state of fight or flight.  Over the years so much has changed.  I know I will get through this, but I have come to accept that this will take many years. And that's ok, cause it has to be.

Since staring my trips to the beach I was inspired by all the drift wood on the beach and have been collecting a few pieces every day. I intend to make a drift wood sculpture of a fish and hang it on the wall in the lounge room. Currently it’s just a pile of drift wood on my dining room table....but the important thing is I’m beginning to conceptualise the end product in my mind. I havent been able to do anything like this for so long...and a glimpse that My creativity is returning...even just a little bit is very encouraging. It feels like a tiny piece of the REAL ME is returning. Healing. K xo

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Gridley

Kristine,

 

That is fantastic and a great sign of healing.  I'm a writer but WD has pretty much killed the creative spark.  But your post is a great encouragement.

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wantrelief
1 hour ago, Kristine said:

My creativity is returning...even just a little bit is very encouraging. It feels like a tiny piece of the REAL ME is returning. Healing

Oh wow!  This is huge, Kristine....how wonderful to have a creative spark and to feel a bit of yourself returning.  I have always been attracted to pieces of driftwood so your concept for a sculpture sounds cool....and so appropriate given your proximity to the beach!  

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Marmot

The driftwood art idea is brilliant! So happy to hear that your creativity is returning 😀

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