Kristine: not alone

[manymoretodays]

  PBS is a broadcasting station here. 

 

Yes, private insurance, and then what insurance will pay for as far as medication(s) go.  Part of my insurance payments are covered by government as well.

 

And.......I've had that experience too........of being responsible for some large payments for prescriptions.  These are called co-payments here in the States........or what one has to pay for out of their own pocket.  So somewhat the same........sometimes insurance just covers a "part" of the full cost.

 

What is Pavlova?  Thanks for the comment on my journal/introduction..........I'm referring to that, where you said you do BBQ and Pavlova for Christmas celebration.  Sounds like an opera singer?  Maybe a food?

 

Super on the window too!!!

 

Best,  mmt

[Kristine]

9 hours ago, manymoretodays said:

What is Pavlova?  Thanks for the comment on my journal/introduction..........I'm referring to that, where you said you do BBQ and Pavlova for Christmas celebration.  Sounds like an opera singer?  Maybe a food?

 

It's a dessert. A large quantity of meringue is piled on a baking tray in the shape of a cake. The meringue is firstly baked at a high temperature and then a low temperature then the oven is turned off and the pavlova is left to completely cool in the oven.  What emerges is a crispy meringue exterior and a soft marshmallow centre.  The pavlova is topped with whipped cream and fresh fruit. Raspberries and strawberries are my favourites. Totally Devine!

 

[nz11]

Pavlovas were invented in nz.

A famous Russian ballerina was once in nz and in a restauarant and in honour of the special guest the chef made  up a special new desert and named it after the ballerina.....and the rest is history.

 

[Kristine]

Hi nz, ah yes the pavlova debate! Had a little feeling you might bring this up! The ballerina 'Anna Pavlova' visited both Australia and New Zealand in the 1920's. Recipes for pavlova emerged from both Australia and New Zealand from1935 onwards.  Personally I think it originated in New Zealand from what I've read....but many disagree. I'm not fussed...it's a delicious dessert 😜K

[Marmot]

20 hours ago, Kristine said:

I'm sure we all would have been much better off if the money that was spent on these medications and doctor visits went towards multiple holidays somewhere tropical! K.

 

Oh ya, I can think of lots of other uses too. My treatment was mostly covered by the government, but there are lots of potholes in the roads here. I hit the potholes on my bike and I'm like "damn, why did I keep going to those appointments when they did me no good?"

[Marmot]

On 15/12/2017 at 3:58 AM, Kristine said:

...forgot to mention MMT...got biopsy results...all clear! 😄

 

Wonderful news!

[Kristine]

9 hours ago, Marmot said:

I'm like "damn, why did I keep going to those appointments when they did me no good?"

 

I know!  There are times that I feel angry with my past self....dutifully running along to appointments and being a compliant, medication taking patient.  Truly believing my brain was chemically unbalanced and by fulfilling these obligations I was taking care of my mental health. Isn't hindsight fabulous! K 

[manymoretodays]

And yum.........on the Pavlova concoction.  The name also reminds me of ?Pavlov and his dogs........those experiments.  Do you know what I mean?

 

Interesting, the debate, and the ballerina.  I love stuff like that.

 

And.......I am slightly jealous of what I imagine are summertime temperatures now for you.  Beach and coast..........hopefully in 2018 for me.  I love the landscape here, yet I so need an ocean fix.    Another light snow action going on here.......and it's cold, especially in the early and latter part of the day.  Honestly though........I need the wintertime, to recoup, most years and get some decent rest, and slow on down, etc.

 

I really don't know how we will get to the solution of what currently, is our Mental Health Care System.  If we all stay active in voicing our stories, and educating others, including prescribers', as well as writing those letters, and signing those petitions............well, hopefully things start to change.  Maybe they have.......just a little bit........    As well as finding, and using, and sharing resources.......... and then even creating more educated alternatives, for when mental health gets unbalanced.  Hope, hope for us all and those who come after us.

 

Yah......the costs incurred.......to.......date.........$$$$ and other.  Why I outta!!!!!!!!  It took me awhile too, to trust and listen to what I already knew.......that voice that sits inside of us all.

 

Fa, la, la, la, la..........and ahhhhh, Sunday,

 

Love, peace, healing/in recovery, and grrrrrrrr owth,

 

mmt

[Kristine]

Hi, Had a bad day yesterday. Various visitors popped in unexpectedly and by the end of the day I was frazzled. Last night I was restless, irritable and I snapped at my husband. As the night went on my muscles went into uncontrollable spasm. I felt contorted. This all lasted for about 1/2 hour. I was soaked in perspiration. My husband wanted to call the ambulance but I refused.  Today I can barely move from muscular pain and exhaustion.  Headache is bad. I am concerned that this is related to a major drug interaction between Fluoxetine and dexamphetamine.  These medications should never have been prescribed together.  I think it is nessessary to decrease the dexampetamine much more rapidly than 10%.  I guess my concern is serotonin syndrome. Today's morning dose, I took 2.5mg (half the usual). Not sure what to do with the afternoon dose. K.

[JustCallMeJane]

On 12/17/2017 at 12:00 PM, manymoretodays said:

And yum.........on the Pavlova concoction.  The name also reminds me of ?Pavlov and his dogs........those experiments.  Do you know what I mean? 

1

 

*drools* mmm Pavlova *drools*

 

Uhh, nope, don't know what you mean. 

[nz11]

2 hours ago, Kristine said:

 I think it is nessessary to decrease the dexampetamine much more rapidly than 10%.  I guess my concern is serotonin syndrome.

Did the doctor confirm this is SS or is it just your idea? Not that they have any idea anyway.

I don't know much about ss but would it not have occurred by now as you have been on this combo for a year. 

It could be delayed wdl symptoms from previous dose drop ?

Have you swallowed any other drugs in the mean time? Did you miss your clonazepam dose or change that.

 

dextroamphetamine  (is my spelling correct) is considered addictive, do you think its wise to make a  50 % cut  

 

 

[manymoretodays]

2 hours ago, Kristine said:

Hi, Had a bad day yesterday. Various visitors popped in unexpectedly and by the end of the day I was frazzled. Last night I was restless, irritable and I snapped at my husband. As the night went on my muscles went into uncontrollable spasm. I felt contorted. This all lasted for about 1/2 hour. I was soaked in perspiration. My husband wanted to call the ambulance but I refused.  Today I can barely move from muscular pain and exhaustion.  Headache is bad. I am concerned that this is related to a major drug interaction between Fluoxetine and dexamphetamine.  These medications should never have been prescribed together.  I think it is nessessary to decrease the dexampetamine much more rapidly than 10%.  I guess my concern is serotonin syndrome. Today's morning dose, I took 2.5mg (half the usual). Not sure what to do with the afternoon dose. K.

 

Sounds pretty intense Kristine.  You've been on the 2, the dexamphetamine and fluoxetine, for a year now........is this correct?  And have just begun tapering on the dexamphetamine?

 

I think I would advise staying on your usual 2.5mg. of the dex for your afternoon dose, as according to my calculations you dropped 33 % from your usual 7.5 mg. daily dose of dex.  The severe spasms and sweats occurred before you decreased as well........   Did you experience mental confusion and other symptoms?  Diarrhea?   The serotonin syndrome often occurs soon after introducing a new medication.........I'm just reading some more now about it. 

 

Are you able to use a bit of Magnesium either orally or by soaking in it(Epsom salts)? 

http://survivingantidepressants.org/topic/15483-magnesium-natures-calcium-channel-blocker/

 

That possibly may give relief from the spasms and or cramping.  The baths sure help me.

 

All I know for sure is that stress.........any kind at all.........good or bad does get magnified and even more so in early W/D.  So.......possibly just an unGodly stress reaction.

 

Okay.....that's about all I've got.

 

Sending the healing thoughts, etc,

 

mmt

 

Edited December 19, 2017 by manymoretodays

[Kristine]

Hi MMT, thank you for replying.  I have an appointment with my psychiatrist tomorrow.

 

1 hour ago, manymoretodays said:

Sounds pretty intense Kristine.  You've been on the 2, the dexamphetamine and fluoxetine, for a year now........is this correct?  And have just begun tapering on the dexamphetamine?

 

Thats right.  Dexamphetamine starting dose in December 2016 20mg.  First reduction in October 2017 5mg as suggested by psychiatrist. This caused intense w/d. Decreased reductions to 1.25mg. This was before I found this site. Last reduction on the 4th December 2017. No other medication changes.

 

1 hour ago, manymoretodays said:

think I would advise staying on your usual 2.5mg. of the dex for your afternoon dose, as according to my calculations you dropped 33 % from your usual 7.5 mg. daily dose of dex.  The severe spasms and sweats occurred before you decreased as well........   Did you experience mental confusion and other symptoms?  Diarrhea?   The serotonin syndrome often occurs soon after introducing a new medication.........I'm just reading some more now about it. 

 

Yes, I'll take 2.5mg soon. I was confused. Felt disassociated. This was mainly during the hour post spasm. Also my eyes were painful. Felt like they were full of broken glass.  No diarrhoea but I was dry wrenching. I didn't rush to the hospital because my blood pressure was stable 145/80 and my pulse was 95bpm.  Despite the sweats I was afebrile.  I've just taken some magnesium. 

 

1 hour ago, manymoretodays said:

....possibly just an unGodly stress reaction.

 

I think this is the most likely cause but I'm not 100% sure.  God only knows.  I'll discuss this with my psychiatrist tomorrow.  

 

I'm just going to take it easy and if the doorbell rings, I'm ignoring it! Thanks again MMT. K

[Kristine]

1 hour ago, nz11 said:

Did the doctor confirm this is SS or is it just your idea? Not that they have any idea anyway.

I don't know much about ss but would it not have occurred by now as you have been on this combo for a year. 

It could be delayed wdl symptoms from previous dose drop ?

Have you swallowed any other drugs in the mean time? Did you miss your clonazepam dose or change that.

 

dextroamphetamine  (is my spelling correct) is considered addictive, do you think its wise to make a  50 % cut  

 

 

Thank you for responding nz, I think I've answered most of these questions in MMT's post. Don't have the energy to write it twice. K.

[nz11]

It looks like you have done this ...I'm filling in the blanks by guessing.

20mg of dex

oct 17  15 mg 

Nov 10mg? 

4 dec 7.5mg?

18dec 5mg?

 

 I don't know much about dextroamphetamine (is my spelling correct?) in fact you are the first person I have come across in 8 years who takes it.

I do know this is amongst the stimulants and they are addictive.

Even if this drug was just mildly addictive (whatever that means) You have been off and on many different drugs. This will leave you imo more sensitive to future dose reductions.

Besides all psychiatric drugs produce wdl symptoms

 

I think you are suffering symptoms of wdl from tapering too fast of the dex. 

 

Lets not forget you have been on massive doses of very potent chemicals earlier in the year and tapered dangerously and probably have underlying wdl from these which might have been  surpressed due to the smothering with dex and Prozac. So now you are removing the dex these might be surfacing as well.

 

I'm not so sure this latest drop is a good idea. 

 

The symptoms you have mentioned all appear to be similar to what I had in acute ssri wdl. 

These physical symptoms emerging that you speak of are  known to be associated with withdrawal. 

 

 

 

5 hours ago, Kristine said:

Hi, Had a bad day yesterday. Various visitors popped in unexpectedly and by the end of the day I was frazzled

 

Situational stressors can bring them to the surface very quickly.

This may have been what has happened.

However I'm a little surprised you say you had 'intense wdl' after the very first cut to 15mg (5mg reduction) so what happened with that ? Did they clear up in a month so you did the next reduction? 

 

1 hour ago, Kristine said:

 I have an appointment with my psychiatrist tomorrow.

What are you hoping will come out of this?

A new drug? 

 

nz11

 

[Kristine]

1 hour ago, nz11 said:

It looks like you have done this ...I'm filling in the blanks by guessing.

20mg of dex

oct 17  15 mg 

Nov 10mg? 

4 dec 7.5mg?

18dec 5mg?

 

Long story short. First drop was 5mg, then decreased another 6 times until I reached 7.5mg. This is when I found SA.

 

1 hour ago, nz11 said:

 I don't know much about dextroamphetamine (is my spelling correct?) in fact you are the first person I have come across in 8 years who takes it

 

Yes, your spelling is correct. Dextroamphetamine seems more common in America.  I've only ever seen it spelt as dexamphetamine in Australia (that is the generic name on my prescription). You have never come across anyone taking adderall or Dexedrine?

 

1 hour ago, nz11 said:

However I'm a little surprised you say you had 'intense wdl' after the very first cut to 15mg (5mg reduction) so what happened with that ? Did they clear up in a month so you did the next reduction? 

 

Why are you surprised? I have written about this in previous posts. I have had to deal with not only withdrawal from multiple medications but also side effects and drug interaction issues.  Some medications I had to come off quickly.  These issues are never two dimensional.

 

1 hour ago, nz11 said:

What are you hoping will come out of this?

A new drug? 

 

Omg nz...give me a little credit...I know you are trying to help but your tone that come across in completely inappropriate and unhelpful.  Please reflect carefully on your posts before you send them. Below is an excert from one of my previous posts regarding my psychiatrist (this is not the psych that put me on the polypharmacy regime)

 

"she is unlike most psychiatrists I have met or heard about.  She feels upset about my treatment by her colleague.  She has always been supportive of my wishes to reduce and stop my medications.  However, she has; like most health professions; been ignorant to the effects of withdrawal on patients and the process of tapering.  This has lead to an diminished ability to distinguish between withdrawal sympotoms and mental illness.  Over the past 10 years she has introduced me to mindfulness meditation (which she actively practices herself),  CBT, host's a weekly meditation and discussion group and has recently introduced neurofeedback to her practice at her own expense.   I have been open with her about my recent research and discoveries.  She was clearly uncomfortable with what I was saying but I believe she is currently trying to digest this information herself"

 

K.

[nz11]

Apologies Kristine 

Well looks like your pdoc is open to listen I hope something good comes from the meeting. 

It sounds to me like you know far more than her. So she may not have anything helpful to tell you. That's all. 

 

sorry for not reading the backstory ...I was lazy.

 

[Kristine]

Thank you nz, I think I'm a little fragile 😣 I know you are trying to help. K.

 

 

 

[Downbutnotout]

Looks like you’re having problems too. It was so nice if you to reach out to me. 

[Downbutnotout]

19 hours ago, Kristine said:

Long story short. First drop was 5mg, then decreased another 6 times until I reached 7.5mg. This is when I found SA.

 

 

Yes, your spelling is correct. Dextroamphetamine seems more common in America.  I've only ever seen it spelt as dexamphetamine in Australia (that is the generic name on my prescription). You have never come across anyone taking adderall or Dexedrine?

 

 

Why are you surprised? I have written about this in previous posts. I have had to deal with not only withdrawal from multiple medications but also side effects and drug interaction issues.  Some medications I had to come off quickly.  These issues are never two dimensional.

 

 

Omg nz...give me a little credit...I know you are trying to help but your tone that come across in completely inappropriate and unhelpful.  Please reflect carefully on your posts before you send them. Below is an excert from one of my previous posts regarding my psychiatrist (this is not the psych that put me on the polypharmacy regime)

 

"she is unlike most psychiatrists I have met or heard about.  She feels upset about my treatment by her colleague.  She has always been supportive of my wishes to reduce and stop my medications.  However, she has; like most health professions; been ignorant to the effects of withdrawal on patients and the process of tapering.  This has lead to an diminished ability to distinguish between withdrawal sympotoms and mental illness.  Over the past 10 years she has introduced me to mindfulness meditation (which she actively practices herself),  CBT, host's a weekly meditation and discussion group and has recently introduced neurofeedback to her practice at her own expense.   I have been open with her about my recent research and discoveries.  She was clearly uncomfortable with what I was saying but I believe she is currently trying to digest this information herself"

 

K.

Wish I knew that psychiatrist! 

[nz11]

Okay may I ask how the meeting with the psychiatrist went......

 

If you have reduced the dex you might like to update the drug sig.

If you latest pdoc feels you have been harmed by prior one then get her to put it in writing. Then you could consider making a complaint against prior one. No pressure , just an idea.

 

 

[Kristine]

Hi NZ,

1 hour ago, nz11 said:

 

Okay may I ask how the meeting with the psychiatrist went

 

It was a very productive meeting.  During my last appointment with her (5 weeks ago) I had expressed my concern related to the lack of knowledge within psychiatry regarding withdrawal from various psychotropic medications. I had shown her some resources. During todays meeting she expressed she was now familiar with the 10% tapering method, she went out of her way to read this information.

 

She is not sure if what I experienced was seretonine syndrome. She does think I am overstimulated by both the fluoxetine and dexamphetamine.  Previously this was dampened by the 1.5mg of clonazepam that I took daily. I expressed my desire to decrease the dexamphetamine more rapidly (1.25mg per week). She suggested reinstating a small amount of clonazepam during this process. This makes sense to me. 

 

1 hour ago, nz11 said:

f you latest pdoc feels you have been harmed by prior one then get her to put it in writing. Then you could consider making a complaint against prior one. No pressure , just an idea.

I have already written a draft letter of complaint.  At some point I will discuss this with her.  Timing has to be right. 

 

K

[nz11]

Thanks for taking the time to post an update.

 

Kristine aren't you already on clonazepam (0.375)?

 

So what she is suggesting is to updose  right.

imo either reintroducing it or updosing it is not a good idea. It is not a good idea to cover wdl from one psych drug with another. Period.

 

Yes you are right there is the possibility of a 'major ' betwn dex and Prozac but you have been on this for a year now with no issues and you are decreasing the dex. 

 

So imo why not just continue to taper slowly. Tapering fast but having to add another drug that has to be tapered seems to defeat the purpose does it not.

And another drug I might add that is going to get its claws in for a second (?) time. It might hold on this time a lot more tightly.

You know what I think .... I think the desire to speed up a taper could be a  wdl symptom. Coming under the umbrella of drug induced wdl mania...acting irrationally and carelessly without any regard for the consequences....tell me about it! Just a thought. I'm sure no one else thinks this.

 

 

57 minutes ago, Kristine said:

I have already written a draft letter of complaint.  At some point I will discuss this with her.  Timing has to be right. 

 

Good for you. 

It is one thing to run down a work  colleague it is another to put your pen where your mouth is. Here's hoping.

Well a pdoc that can listen and read ...things are picking up in this world. Sorry as you can see I am very cynical regarding these people. They have insulted and humiliated me to such an extent it will be difficult to alter my perception of them.

 

 

Do you have access to the Whitakers book 'Anatomy of an epidemic' 

Are you able to read  chapter 7 

 

Wishing you wisdom for your decisions.

nz11

 

 

[manymoretodays]

7 hours ago, Kristine said:

Hi NZ,

It was a very productive meeting.  During my last appointment with her (5 weeks ago) I had expressed my concern related to the lack of knowledge within psychiatry regarding withdrawal from various psychotropic medications. I had shown her some resources. During todays meeting she expressed she was now familiar with the 10% tapering method, she went out of her way to read this information.

 

She is not sure if what I experienced was seretonine syndrome. She does think I am overstimulated by both the fluoxetine and dexamphetamine.  Previously this was dampened by the 1.5mg of clonazepam that I took daily. I expressed my desire to decrease the dexamphetamine more rapidly (1.25mg per week). She suggested reinstating a small amount of clonazepam during this process. This makes sense to me. 

 

I have already written a draft letter of complaint.  At some point I will discuss this with her.  Timing has to be right. 

 

K

 

I don't know.  Especially on the updosing of clonazepam........I'm not sure that will be in your best interest.  What little literature is out there, for prescribers to read, does seem to support W/D from psychiatric medication, with using another A/D or a benzo.  That doesn't make a lot of sense to me.   I mean maybe your recent intense symptoms were benzo W/D?  That's the thing.......we don't know for sure.  I just don't want to see you struggling with a benzo W/D eventually.........if we can mitigate that it would be great, eh?

 

Just be cautious with the decreases in the Dex.  I think you might be able to avoid a lot of discomfort by decreasing less than the 1.25mg./week.........basing the decreases instead on the previous dose.......and if not 10% decreases.........then something between 10% and ?    Does that make sense?  Just something to consider....

 

Thanks for the update Kristine.

 

Love, peace, healing/in recovery, and growth,

 

manymoretodays

[Kristine]

7 hours ago, manymoretodays said:

I don't know.  Especially on the updosing of clonazepam........I'm not sure that will be in your best interest.  What little literature is out there, for prescribers to read, does seem to support W/D from psychiatric medication, with using another A/D or a benzo.  That doesn't make a lot of sense to me.   I mean maybe your recent intense symptoms were benzo W/D?  That's the thing.......we don't know for sure.  I just don't want to see you struggling with a benzo W/D eventually.........if we can mitigate that it would be great, eh?

 

Just be cautious with the decreases in the Dex.  I think you might be able to avoid a lot of discomfort by decreasing less than the 1.25mg./week.........basing the decreases instead on the previous dose.......and if not 10% decreases.........then something between 10% and ?    Does that make sense?  Just something to consider....

Hi MMT,  I should have clarified that I am not going to increase the clonazepam.  It was just a suggestion from my psychiatrist. I am fairly confident I am still suffering from clonazepam withdrawal (and bupropion, escitalopram, seroquel w/d...god only knows). I have however decreased the dexamphetamine by 1.25mg (19th Dec).  I have to listen to my intuition/gut feeling.  For years I have ignored this. I am currently taking 3.75mg in the morning and 2.5mg in the afternoon. I think that is a 17% decrease.  I'll see how this goes.  Once I have ceased the dexamphetamine, I'll turn my attention to the fluoxetine.  From prior experience I struggle with SSRI withdrawal. So I may start with 10% taper but as I get to a lower dose I may need to switch to a 5% taper.  I know the lower the dose the harder it gets.  

 

Anyway, thank you for responding so close to 🎄 

wishing you a very Merry Christmas MMT 😄 I am imagining that you are going to have a snowy Christmas. beautiful!

K.

[Kristine]

14 hours ago, nz11 said:

Yes you are right there is the possibility of a 'major ' betwn dex and Prozac but you have been on this for a year now with no issues and you are decreasing the dex

Hi nz, unfortunately there have been many issues.  I was put on such a cocktail of drugs many of which had major drug interactions.  Medical negligence is an understatement.  I have to contend with drug interaction, w/d and medication side effect.  Also the different way a drugs side effects manifest when another drug which was used to mask that side effects is removed.  It is a nightmarish labyrinth and I'm doing the best I can.

 

14 hours ago, nz11 said:

Sorry as you can see I am very cynical regarding these people. They have insulted and humiliated me to such an extent it will be difficult to alter my perception of them.

I understand.  You have every right to be cynical.  No one should be treated this way.  To be insulted and humiliated by any health professional unforgivable.  I am truly sorry you have to suffer through this. I remember when the drug cocktail was at its worst, my husband was at work, I couldn't stand and walk to the bathroom. I had no choice but to crawl to the bathroom.  Psychiatry stole so much, including my dignity.

K

[nz11]

1 hour ago, Kristine said:

It is a nightmarish labyrinth and I'm doing the best I can.

You sure are and reaching out to encourage others at the same time not easy. 

All the best

Go well

nz11

[manymoretodays]

I'll be around Kristine, off and on.........you however, may be at the beach!!!!!

 

You as well......have a jolly old day of it dear.......am I still English?

 

It is snowing again!

 

Best,

mmt

[Kristine]

Thank you MMT,  I have just put a few more presents under the tree 😊 We are going to have a quiet and relaxed Christmas this year. No rushing around! Love the sound of a white Christmas. You could build a snowman! Maybe I could build a sandman at the beach! Hope you have a 'jolly' Christmas 🌲 K.

[Kristine]

I like this quote, thought I would share....

 

"You can't stop the waves, but you can learn to surf" 

Joesph Goldstein 

[Downbutnotout]

On 12/16/2017 at 6:47 PM, Kristine said:

Hi nz, ah yes the pavlova debate! Had a little feeling you might bring this up! The ballerina 'Anna Pavlova' visited both Australia and New Zealand in the 1920's. Recipes for pavlova emerged from both Australia and New Zealand from1935 onwards.  Personally I think it originated in New Zealand from what I've read....but many disagree. I'm not fussed...it's a delicious dessert 😜K

You’re all from Australia and New Zealand. I didn’t know they gave away antidepressants there too. I’ve always wanted to visit both places. Sounds great. That dessert looks good too. 

[Downbutnotout]

On 12/4/2017 at 8:01 PM, Kristine said:

Moderator note:  link to Kristine's benzo thread - Kristine: Protracted clonazepam withdrawal?

 

Hello, I am new to this site and would firstly like to extend my gratitude to all the people who have shared their stories and support. I now know I am not alone.  My story is long and complex so I will attempt to condense it. I am 43 years old and was introduced to antidepressants 10 years ago after being diagnosed with MDD, GAD and PTSD (l do not feel comfortable with labels) by my psychiatrist.  

 

During the first 8 years of treatment multiple antidepressants and other psychotropic medications were prescribed. I will fast forward to October 2015 when I attempted to end my life (I had never been suicidal prior to taking antidepressants). I had to resign from work and was hospitalised for 1 month.  At the time I had been taking citalopram for a number of years and had reached the maximum dose.  My intuition told me it was not helping.  I wanted to stop this medication and my psychiatrist was supportive of this decision.  However, it is obvious to me now that she was inexperienced and uneducated with this process. The citalopram was ceased over one week and due to severe anxiety I was commenced on seroquel and diazepam. After leaving hospital I managed to taper off the seroquel and diazepam but became increasingly unwell both mentally and physically.  My psychiatrist convinced me that my mental illness had returned and I was commenced on Parnate which was increased in dose over 3 months.  Instead of improving my mental and physical ailments worsened and my psychiatrist sort a second opinion.  

 

I was hospitalised again in May 2016 under the 'care' of another psychiatrist.  This was the beginning of an indescribable hell where I was treated like a human lab rat.  Looking back the medications he prescribed were beyond belief and I was the victim of poly pharmacy without adequte professional rational. Unfortunally, like so many others, I was vulnerable and trusted his guidance.  He treated me as both an inpatient and out patient over a one year period.  Over this time I was prescribed over 14 psychotropic medication some of which were abruptly ceased and crossed over with other medications. If this wasn't enough I was subjected to 15 sessions of unnessaccery ECT.  Not surprisingly, I was in a zombified state, unable to function and unable to return to work.  My anxiety and depression was not alleviated and I was plagued with tremors, nausea, vomiting, fatigue and migraines.  By April 2017 I ceased my appointments with this psychiatrist (he had little belief in withdraw symptoms or side effects of the medication he prescribed - he resorted to blaming me) and returned to my previous psychiatrist.  

 

Over the past eight months I have the mammoth task of withdrawing from multiple medications.  These include escitalopram (completed reduction), Lithium (competed reduction), clonazepam (partial reduction), bupropion (completed reduction), seroquel (completed reduction), dexamphetamine (partial reduction) and fluoxetine (no reduction).  My withdrawal symptoms are horrendous and relentless.  My psychiatrist has been unable to advise me along a comfortable path.  She appears to be in denial and her support has mostly evaporated.  I feel abandoned, alone and frightened.  I was forced to seek information independently (for which I am grateful), which continues to be a hideous realisation that for years I was in a constant state of drug withdrawal, side effects and drug interaction.  I also feeling very angry about my treatment.  I am tapering at the 10% rate now (one medication at a time) but even though I know road ahead will be long and rocky, I feel a sense of empowerment from educating myself.  What I am experiencing is common and I am finally breaking free from the clutches of psychiatry.  

Oh my goodness. You are a real inspiration, and so kind. 

[Kristine]

42 minutes ago, Downbutnotout said:

On 17/12/2017 at 10:47 AM, Kristine said:

 

You’re all from Australia and New Zealand. I didn’t know they gave away antidepressants there too. I’ve always wanted to visit both places. Sounds great. That dessert looks good too. 

Hi DBNO, Unfortunately they hand them out here as well!  I live in the Australian state of Tasmania. It's the little island at the bottom if you look at a map ☺️ It is a stunning part of the world.  I've googled Columbus, Ohio, wow, what a beautiful place to live! I love the Olentangy river (is that the name of it...or are there serveral rivers?) running through the city 😄 You also appear to have some beautiful parks and gardens. And a planetarium! Wow! I've never been to America. Maybe one day. K.

[Downbutnotout]

1 minute ago, Kristine said:

Hi DBNO, Unfortunately they hand them out here as well!  I live in the Australian state of Tasmania. It's the little island at the bottom if you look at a map ☺️ It is a stunning part of the world.  I've googled Columbus, Ohio, wow, what a beautiful place to live! I love the Olentangy river (is that the name of it...or are there serveral rivers?) running through the city 😄 You also appear to have some beautiful parks and gardens. And a planetarium! Wow! I've never been to America. Maybe one day. K.

Yes, it’s the Olentangy river, but this isn’t exactly geographically beautiful. My son was a tour guide and he has been to both Australia and New Zealand. I’ll have to ask him if he’s been to Tasmania. When I was feeing normal, I really wanted to travel to either place. Maybe one day I will want to again. My dtr is living to London, and I wish I could go visit her. She’s only there for a year. 

[Kristine]

3 hours ago, Downbutnotout said:

Oh my goodness. You are a real inspiration, and so kind

Thankyou dbno, that means a lot to me. K 

[Kristine]

On 19/12/2017 at 9:17 AM, JustCallMeJane said:

*drools* mmm Pavlova *drools*

Hi Jane 😊 Somehow I missed your post 😕 I was in the middle of a wave.  Yes, pavlova is so yum *drools* .... don't know if I'll have the energy to make one this year.  I don't think I've read your intro... I'll drop by soon. K