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RealMe

Thanks, Kristine.  I appreciate your help.  Hope your new regimen of the double dose at night gets you some good sleep!  Hoping for the best for you.

xo RM

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Altostrata
15 hours ago, Kristine said:

Update: yesterday began soluble magnesium glycinate instead of magnesium citrate tablets. Sipping throughout the day. Hopefully it will be a little gentler on my tummy. Sleep is still terrible despite my sleep hygiene efforts. Considering slowly moving my TDS clonazapam doses to one dose at night in the hope it may help with sleep. However, there is also the possibility that I have reached tolerance of clonazepam which is causing other problems. Guess I'll never know. I'm so desperate for sleep. ARH! 😫

 

Love to you all xo 

 

15 hours ago, Kristine said:

Hey Alto...

7am - 20mg Fluoxetine and 0.125mg Clonazepam 

 

1pm - 0.125mg Clonazapam 

 

10pm - 0.125mg Clonazapam 

 

 

Are your symptoms worse at any particular time of day?

 

Not sure if doubling up on clonazepam is going to help sleep.

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Kristine
6 hours ago, Altostrata said:

Are your symptoms worse at any particular time of day?

During night time (after 11pm) my anxiety/ agitation/restlessness gets worse. Cognitive difficulties, muscular weakness, muscular pain, low mood and extreme fatigue are constant and have got much worse since ceasing the dexamphetamine. Of course sleep deprivation doesn't help. There are many other symtoms but they are sporadic. No pattern. 

6 hours ago, Altostrata said:

Not sure if doubling up on clonazepam is going to help sleep.

I'm not sure either. My rational for moving my clonazepam doses to nighttime only are two fold

1) From my understanding the peak blood plasma level is 1-2 hours. Getting to sleep is a big problem for me. It might help.

2) not taking the clonazepam during daylight hours may help ease the burden (even just a little) of fatigue and muscle weakness....enabling me to get a little exercise, which is non existent at the moment. 

 

Just some thoughts...

Much Love. K xo

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Longestroadhome

I’m sorry that I’ve missed your post. I have tried to stay off the site as it often seems to increase my anxiety after reading all the sad stories. But I do miss you and will read back and catch up on your adventures. Much love 🙏

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Kristine
23 hours ago, Longestroadhome said:

I’m sorry that I’ve missed your post. I have tried to stay off the site as it often seems to increase my anxiety after reading all the sad stories. But I do miss you and will read back and catch up on your adventures. Much love 🙏

No apologies necessary LRH...probably best not to read of my latest adventures...cause it's a dogs breakfast! Been thinking of you! Much Love. K xo

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Rabe

Hi Kristine,

Gosh I wish I could give you the gift of some sleep!  Getting through all this is difficult at best WITH some sleep.  Im so sorry that the sleep deprivation is continuing..praying of some answers for you!!  Think of you so often!!  

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Rosetta

HI Kristine, Thinking of you. _-Rosetta

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Kristine

Thank you @Rabe and @Rosetta, I think I have completed my transformation into the walking dead 😳

 

The following is one of my favourite short stories from the funny and wise Buddhist monk Ajahn Brahm

......I think I need a bigger shovel 😉

 

Who ordered this truck-load of dung?
 
"Life is like this.  You’re sitting in your monastery, or you’re sitting at home or in your office, and then someone delivers you a whole truckload of sh**.  It’s right in front of your house or office. 
 
There are two things about this delivery of sh** in your life.  The most important thing is, you did not order it.  Life is like that.  ‘Why me?’ you say. You didn’t deserve it, this thing just happened to you.  You didn’t order it and you’re not responsible for it.  
 
But, the second thing is that no-one saw it coming so you can’t ring up someone and get them to take it away.  You’re stuck with it.  So the first thing is that these things can happen and no-ones to blame.  And the second thing is that you’re stuck with it. 
 
But, there’s something you can do with the dung. You can find the nearest garden, and dig it in.  It takes a lot of hard work to dig in the suffering, the disappointments, the diseases, the tragedies of life. But you’ve got no choice.  
 
Actually you have got a choice, because what many people do with the dung of their life is to put it in their pockets.  They put it in their handbag, they shove it up their shirt; they carry it around with them.  You lose a lot of friends if you carry around sh**. So, you should dig it in your garden. It’s hard work – maybe you only do half a bucket or one bucket a day, but you dig it in. 
 
And after a while, we call it the miracle, the miracle of Dhamma (of truth).  The miracle is that after a while the dung has disappeared and in its place you have the most magnificent garden.  It’s the garden of wisdom, of courage, of compassion. Not just the kindness and compassion you get from books – but the kindness and compassion you get by embracing, understanding and digging in your problems.  
 
This is the garden of the heart." 

 

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Rosetta

Thank you, Kristine, for showing all of us how to be grateful and accept this situation.  You are incredible. - R

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Rabe

That was beautiful Kristine...thank you !!! Something beautiful amidst all this is always such a gift! 

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Carmie
On 5/26/2018 at 12:36 PM, Rabe said:

Hi Kristine,

Gosh I wish I could give you the gift of some sleep!  Getting through all this is difficult at best WITH some sleep.  Im so sorry that the sleep deprivation is continuing..praying of some answers for you!!  Think of you so often!!  

 

I’m soooo sorry you’re struggling to sleep at the moment. Just want to let u know I’m thinking of you Kristine.

 

I. Sorry too the weighted blanket wasn’t of much comfort. 

 

I will eventually end up in rebound insomnia too. Not fun! 

 

Sending u lots n lots of hugs Kristine xxxx

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Rosetta

All my love, Kristine.  I wish I could take your pain away, too. Hugs!

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Daisy
On 5/25/2018 at 8:23 PM, Kristine said:

Thank you @Rabe and @Rosetta, I think I have completed my transformation into the walking dead 😳

 

The following is one of my favourite short stories from the funny and wise Buddhist monk Ajahn Brahm

......I think I need a bigger shovel 😉

 

Who ordered this truck-load of dung?
 
"Life is like this.  You’re sitting in your monastery, or you’re sitting at home or in your office, and then someone delivers you a whole truckload of sh**.  It’s right in front of your house or office. 
 
There are two things about this delivery of sh** in your life.  The most important thing is, you did not order it.  Life is like that.  ‘Why me?’ you say. You didn’t deserve it, this thing just happened to you.  You didn’t order it and you’re not responsible for it.  
 
But, the second thing is that no-one saw it coming so you can’t ring up someone and get them to take it away.  You’re stuck with it.  So the first thing is that these things can happen and no-ones to blame.  And the second thing is that you’re stuck with it. 
 
But, there’s something you can do with the dung. You can find the nearest garden, and dig it in.  It takes a lot of hard work to dig in the suffering, the disappointments, the diseases, the tragedies of life. But you’ve got no choice.  
 
Actually you have got a choice, because what many people do with the dung of their life is to put it in their pockets.  They put it in their handbag, they shove it up their shirt; they carry it around with them.  You lose a lot of friends if you carry around sh**. So, you should dig it in your garden. It’s hard work – maybe you only do half a bucket or one bucket a day, but you dig it in. 
 
And after a while, we call it the miracle, the miracle of Dhamma (of truth).  The miracle is that after a while the dung has disappeared and in its place you have the most magnificent garden.  It’s the garden of wisdom, of courage, of compassion. Not just the kindness and compassion you get from books – but the kindness and compassion you get by embracing, understanding and digging in your problems.  
 
This is the garden of the heart." 

 

I love this Kristine. Thank you for sharing it.

Daisy

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Scorpio

Hi Kristine 

‘thank you so much for this quote. Like you have been going through a huge awful wave that seems, at the moment, never ending but reading this made me feel better. Now first to find some energy then second get digging. 

Hugs

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Carmie

Hi Kristine, so sorry to hear you’re still in a wave, 

 

They are extremely hard, aren’t they? 

 

No no amount of words that one can say takes away the pain, but just knowing one has support on this site helps.Its a place where you can share your victory n pain n document how you’re doing. One day we will all look back on here n go : “ WOW! What a roller coaster ride this was, but it has stopped. Yay!”

 

It may still be a long way away but it will be reality one day.

 

Sending hugs🤗

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Rabe

The miraclelgarden of the heart....I like that...I have seen many I think over the years....hoping for that miracle for all of us!!!  Hoping today was in some way better Kristine...take care!!

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Rabe

Just thinking about you Kristine...wanted you to know!   How are you doing? ♥️

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Rabe

Hope you are doing ok Kristine...you are always in my heart! Thinking bout you lots!♥️

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Kristine

Hey my dear friends, thank you all for all your kind word and encouragement, you all mean so much to me..

 

Update: Two days ago, I finally had my appointment with my gynaecologist due to all my cycle issues. I have been so weak and lethargic. Anyway, had blood tests and other stuff I won't go into. Turns out my iron and vitamin d levels are very low, so I've just started iron, vitamin c and vitamin d supplements. Sigh 🙄

 

Love to you all. K xo

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Scorpio

Hi Kristine 

‘well now you have got through that ordeal hopefully the iron etc will help to make you feel a little better. 

 

Hugs

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Daisy
35 minutes ago, Kristine said:

Hey my dear friends, thank you all for all your kind word and encouragement, you all mean so much to me..

 

Update: Two days ago, I finally had my appointment with my gynaecologist due to all my cycle issues. I have been so weak and lethargic. Anyway, had blood tests and other stuff I won't go into. Turns out my iron and vitamin d levels are very low, so I've just started iron, vitamin c and vitamin d supplements. Sigh 🙄

 

Love to you all. K xo

I hope these supplements make a difference. Hang in there and believe that you are destined to get through this and be well.

Daisy

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Shep
1 hour ago, Kristine said:

Update: Two days ago, I finally had my appointment with my gynaecologist due to all my cycle issues. I have been so weak and lethargic. Anyway, had blood tests and other stuff I won't go into. Turns out my iron and vitamin d levels are very low, so I've just started iron, vitamin c and vitamin d supplements. Sigh 🙄

 

Kristine, please see my post here in your benzo thread. It's important not to make too many changes at once. 

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Kristine
1 hour ago, Shep said:

Kristine, please see my post here in your benzo thread. It's important not to make too many changes at once. 

Thank you Shep, I have responded on my benzo thread. 

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Kristine
1 hour ago, Daisy said:

I hope these supplements make a difference. Hang in there and believe that you are destined to get through this and be well.

Thank you Daisy, you are so kind. Thinking of you. Much Love K xo

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Kristine
2 hours ago, Scorpio said:

Hi Kristine 

‘well now you have got through that ordeal hopefully the iron etc will help to make you feel a little better. 

 

Hugs

Thank you Scorpio, thinking of you. More than a little bit over it. Much Love and hugs. K xo

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wantrelief

Hello my friend. It is good you got everything checked out.  I am hopeful the iron will help with the weakness and lethargy you have been experiencing.  I am thinking about you, as always, and sending lots of love and hugs  - WR.

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Rabe

I was going to say perhaps try natural things as well or very small doses...I tried vitamin D and had some issues, not horrible, even at a very low dose...so been trying  to get out in sun for at least 15 minutes a day.  And along the way I tried some other supplements and didn't do well with them either. pPart of it is the excipients and capsule ingredients etc too I think.  Take care WR!  Glad you got to the doctor and got some answers!!!  

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Kristine
10 hours ago, wantrelief said:

Hello my friend. It is good you got everything checked out.  I am hopeful the iron will help with the weakness and lethargy you have been experiencing.  I am thinking about you, as always, and sending lots of love and hugs  - WR.

Thank you my friend, I hope so as well. Thinking of you as well. Much Love K xo 💖

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Rabe

There goes my mind again...take care Kristine!  And take care WR too!! ;) 

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Kristine

Thank you @Rabe for your kind words and advice 💖

2 minutes ago, Rabe said:

There goes my mind again...take care Kristine!  And take care WR too!! ;) 

Lol! No worries my friend 😊 I can relate completely! Xo

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Rabe

😂Thank you...have to laugh or would cry..sometimes do that too.😫

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Rosetta

I hope you can take it slow with the new supplements, Kristine.  You are very sensitive, I know.  Just be careful.  Love, Rosetta

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Kristine
5 hours ago, Rosetta said:

I hope you can take it slow with the new supplements, Kristine.  You are very sensitive, I know.  Just be careful.  Love, Rosetta

Thank you Rosetta, Thinking of you as always. Much Love and (((hugs))) K xo

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Rabe

Hi Kristine, thinking about you and hoping things are going smoothly!!!

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Carmie
On 5/30/2018 at 7:29 PM, Kristine said:

Hey my dear friends, thank you all for all your kind word and encouragement, you all mean so much to me..

 

Update: Two days ago, I finally had my appointment with my gynaecologist due to all my cycle issues. I have been so weak and lethargic. Anyway, had blood tests and other stuff I won't go into. Turns out my iron and vitamin d levels are very low, so I've just started iron, vitamin c and vitamin d supplements. Sigh 🙄

 

Love to you all. K xo

 

Hi Kristine, 

 

Thinking of you and wondering if the new supplements are treating you well. Did you go on them slowly n in low doses? Did they affect your withdrawals?

 

I can see a lot of people here are concerned about you. 

 

Hope u are coping as best you can 💚💚💚💚

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Marmot

Hey Kristine,

You haven't written as much lately, I really really hope that things are a little better for you. The music video that you posted with the rain and fear last month was beautiful, thanks for that. I hope that the iron helps a little, it all sounds overwhelming.

Hugs,

Marmot

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