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JustCallMeJane

Hey hun, I don't have the patience to read right now. Just wanted to pop in and say hi, hope all is good. See you've been watching Netflix. Us too. Watched a documentary about toys we used to play with as kids. It was very interesting, although slow at times.

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Kristine
7 minutes ago, JustCallMeJane said:

Hey hun, I don't have the patience to read right now. Just wanted to pop in and say hi, hope all is good. See you've been watching Netflix. Us too. Watched a documentary about toys we used to play with as kids. It was very interesting, although slow at times.

Lovely for you to pop in ūüėä I like the sound of the documentary you watched. ¬†As you can see my Netflix choices are a little embarrassing ūüėú K¬†

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JustCallMeJane

LOL Not to worry, my current selection is Bruce Willis in Once Upon a Time in Venice or should I say my husband's choice. UGH! It's a train wreck.

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Staz

Thanks for posting this Kristine.

xxxx

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Kristine

ūüėä Happy New Year Staz!¬†

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Staz

And to you Kristine.

Lets hope it's a healing year for all of us.

xx

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Kristine
On 27/12/2017 at 8:17 AM, Kristine said:

Hi All, Just wondering if anyone has any advice to alleviate muscular ache and pain. It just keeps getting worse, especially over the past 6 weeks. I've considered massage but I'm not sure if I could tolerate it, I'm afraid massage my may aggravate it. I started taking magnesium about 1 week ago, which I think has helped with other symptoms, such as headache and brain zaps. K. 

Hi All,  Just an update regarding the above post.  The pain is worse around my joints but not 'in' the joint.  If I accidentally bump a joint it is excruciating. This pain started over two years ago as muscular 'flu' pain (when I was taken off citalopram 40mg over one week).  It has slowly progressed during and after the polypharmacy fiasco and the ct w/d.  There have been so many drugs, changes and drug interactions, that I can not pin point the exact culprit. Anyway, the other issue is my muscles seize up and I become momentarily contorted. This has been happening for about a month. Last night my husband gave me a massage.  It felt therapeutic at the time but this morning the pain is worse.  I'm finding it difficult to walk around. Thinking out load really ...and hoping someone has some advice?  Thankfully some of the other symptoms have improved.  At least symptoms are changing. K

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JustCallMeJane

Hey Kristine, I have nothing to help, just a friendly face (err, typeface?) and some good thoughts to you. I can't imagine having that type of pain for that long. I hope someone can give you direction for help on this. Hugs :wub:

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Kristine

Thank you Jane, You're a gem. K 

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manymoretodays
6 hours ago, Kristine said:

Hi All,  Just an update regarding the above post.  The pain is worse around my joints but not 'in' the joint.  If I accidentally bump a joint it is excruciating. This pain started over two years ago as muscular 'flu' pain (when I was taken off citalopram 40mg over one week).  It has slowly progressed during and after the polypharmacy fiasco and the ct w/d.  There have been so many drugs, changes and drug interactions, that I can not pin point the exact culprit. Anyway, the other issue is my muscles seize up and I become momentarily contorted. This has been happening for about a month. Last night my husband gave me a massage.  It felt therapeutic at the time but this morning the pain is worse.  I'm finding it difficult to walk around. Thinking out load really ...and hoping someone has some advice?  Thankfully some of the other symptoms have improved.  At least symptoms are changing. K

 

Kristine,

Have you tried the Epsom salts(magnesium sulfate) in a tub?  Or is this an option you can try?  Or heat.  It may help a lot.   I used to, oftentimes,  feel fairly fatigued/weak after the baths, and just have to crawl back into bed for a bit.  The pain was reduced though.  Or even alternate ice packs with heat packs.  I  had a painful bout, in the area of my hip flexor,  which responded to accupressure(not accupuncture, and I lucked out in that, I had a friend who did it), and then some positional exercises  from a book my ex husband lent to me.  I will check on the title and author for you, as it covered all the flexor areas.  Gentle, preventative exercises.   I could barely walk or get up and down during the hip pain episode.  And for me, it was episodic......not persistent.  And I sparingly used ibuprofen as well.  I assumed it was some kind of inflammatory or even immune response(I was particularly concerned with some form of arthritis), causing the pain.

 

Then I considered that it could just be some spasms, like what you describe when the contortions occur? 

 

I also had some fairly intense upper neck/back pain for awhile.......felt kind of spasmy as well.  I did gentle ROM stuff,  sometimes in the pool, when I swam too.  I also used a covered pack of rice heated in the microwave on my upper back/ neck area, which  helped a lot on those days when I really had to stay home and just take it real easy.

 

And here's a site for you to peruse: 

https://beyondmeds.com/2017/11/06/site-retired-ive-retired/

The site is now closed as to further additions, but if you go to the top menu you will find another whole wealth of collected wisdom, from a fellow traveler of withdrawal.  The site was retired in 2017, yet her legacy lives on.  Many of her own experiences withdrawing from a "drug cocktail".  I think you'll love it, the site, and find many answers for yourself there.   She also has a Success Story here at survivingantidepressants........"GiaK Radical, Transformative Healing of Body/Mind/Spirit".  I Love plugging her writings!! 

 

Best, Love, peace, healing/inrecovery, and growth,

mmt

Oh and Happy New Year.......it's almost here, here and I assume it already is, there!  2018, here we go......

Edited by manymoretodays
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Kristine

Oh MMT, your words were so comforting to read. I just wish you didn't have to go through it.

1 hour ago, manymoretodays said:

Have you tried the Epsom salts(magnesium sulfate) in a tub?  Or is this an option you can try?  Or heat.  It may help a lot.   I used to, oftentimes,  feel fairly fatigued/weak after the baths, and just have to crawl back into bed for a bit.  The pain was reduced though.  Or even alternate ice packs with heat packs.  I  had a painful bout, in the area of my hip flexor,  which responded to accupressure(not accupuncture, and I lucked out in that, I had a friend who did it), and then some positional exercises  from a book my ex husband lent to me.  I will check on the title and author for you, as it covered all the flexor areas.  Gentle, preventative exercises.   I could barely walk or get up and down during the hip pain episode.  And for me, it was episodic......not persistent.  And I sparingly used ibuprofen as well.  I assumed it was some kind of inflammatory or even immune response(I was particularly concerned with some form of arthritis), causing the pain.

Yes, I have a Mag bath about 1-2 times a week.  It helps a little. But not much.  I also introduced magnesium citrate (see sig). I've been trying that 'bed yoga' but my muscles ended up in spasm and had to call out to my husband.  It really was not a pretty sight. So I think even more gentle stretching is required...as you suggested. I'll have a look into acupressure.  I haven't taken any ibuprofen but have been looking into turmeric.  

 

Im having trouble moving around. And the fatigue is much worse. I am spending most of my time in bed. Can't even attend to basic household chores. I'm also feeling very depressed.  It is probably linked to the Dex reduction but then again muscle pain and fatigue have been a constant for two years. Lord know.  I am so physically/mentally exhausted and feel so trapped in my mind and body.  Be so nice to escape the pain, just for a moment.  My thoughts are.. I just need to grin and bare it.  Some symptoms have improved, so I need to try and focus on those.

 

1 hour ago, manymoretodays said:

"GiaK Radical, Transformative Healing of Body/Mind/Spirit".  I Love plugging her writings!!

Thank you for this.  I will check it out.  Thankfully after getting off the seroquel and a large chunk of clonazepam I can read again.  Another positive.

 

thank you again MMT and a happy 2018 to you. Here we go! K

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manymoretodays

I'm convinced that I am through the worst now Kristine.  It's just the growing pains.....for the most part.  :rolleyes:

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Kristine
21 hours ago, Kristine said:

m having trouble moving around. And the fatigue is much worse. I am spending most of my time in bed. Can't even attend to basic household chores. I'm also feeling very depressed.  It is probably linked to the Dex reduction but then again muscle pain and fatigue have been a constant for two years. Lord know.

The above is the same today.  For accurate record keeping purposes...

  • only got 1-2 hours sleep last night (pain, ruminating thoughts, muscle spasms, restless leg syndrome, headache)
  • nausea has returned ūüėí Feel like vomiting. ¬†Sipping ginger beer.
  • depression ++++
  • Headache has continued into today
  • snakes in the tummy
  • prickling sensation has increased in intensity and now extends up the arms (was just the fingers and hands before)
12 minutes ago, manymoretodays said:

 

I'm convinced that I am through the worst now Kristine.  It's just the growing pains.....for the most part.  :rolleyes:

 

Thank you MMT,  you are such an inspiration for me. K

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JustCallMeJane

:wub: Sorry to hear you're feeling so lousy today hun. The nausea might stem from lack of sleep. I get that way after a bad night too. Gotta love those catch 22 things in life... need sleep to feel better... need to feel better to get sleep... need sleep to feel better... etc. etc. etc.

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Kristine

Thank you Jane. Yes, catch 22's seem to be the story of my life ūüėē I'll drop by your page today. K

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JS11

Hi Kristine, 

I just wanted to say hello.  I love quotes and the one on your signature caught my eye.  

Thank you, it was much appreciated.

 

I hope this day finds you well.

take care,

JS

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Downbutnotout
On 12/31/2017 at 6:47 PM, Kristine said:

Hi All,  Just an update regarding the above post.  The pain is worse around my joints but not 'in' the joint.  If I accidentally bump a joint it is excruciating. This pain started over two years ago as muscular 'flu' pain (when I was taken off citalopram 40mg over one week).  It has slowly progressed during and after the polypharmacy fiasco and the ct w/d.  There have been so many drugs, changes and drug interactions, that I can not pin point the exact culprit. Anyway, the other issue is my muscles seize up and I become momentarily contorted. This has been happening for about a month. Last night my husband gave me a massage.  It felt therapeutic at the time but this morning the pain is worse.  I'm finding it difficult to walk around. Thinking out load really ...and hoping someone has some advice?  Thankfully some of the other symptoms have improved.  At least symptoms are changing. K

I hope you feel better soon! This sounds si painful. You must be made of some very strong stuff to withstand it.i don’t know how you do it. 

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Kristine
2 hours ago, JS11 said:

I just wanted to say hello.  I love quotes and the one on your signature caught my eye.  

Thank you, it was much appreciated.

Thank you JS,  That quote sums it up for me.  I put it on my signature so I can read it every day and it helps keep my head above water.  I'm pleased it has helped you in some way.  Thank you for stopping by. K

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Kristine

Hi All,  Update time and it ain't pretty.  Decreased Dexamphetamine 19th Dec 2017, noticed symptom changes around the 25th December 2017 (see 30th December post).  Muscular pain has been progressively getting worse (see 1st Jan 2018 post).  It has been rough but the wave hit its peak yesterday and I ended up in the foetal position on the bathroom floor sobbing for 1/2 an hour.  The nausea had intensified (none of my usual natural remedies helped) and I was vomiting and dry reaching.  This hasn't happened for about 4months.  Thankfully no one was home to witness this.  The nausea anxiety and my mood has improved today.  Not great but tolerable. I have not taken my usual morning dose of magnesium citrate.  I thought I might just take the evening dose, maybe even halve it...the following is a breakdown of yesterday's symptoms....

 

  • woke at 5am feeling queasy,¬†muscle pain, anxiety, very low mood
  • only had 2-3 hours broken sleep woke in a cold sweat, very vivid dreams
  • 7am medication - fluoxetine 40mg, clonazepam 0.125mg, dexamphetamine 3.75mg
  • 8am Toast with Vegemite (an Aussie favourite) unsteady on my feet, moving very slowly, uncoordinated...Magnesium 150mg, fish oil
  • 8:15am back to bed. ¬†Anxiety rising, ruminating thoughts..attempted distraction, breathing ect
  • 9am diarrhoea, back to bed...temperature regulation issues..hot and sweaty
  • 10am Anxiety and nausea¬†keeps increasing..panic setting in...irrational fear
  • 11am Anxiety is terror now, feels I have lost control, nausea ramping up. Foetal position in bed clutching my head. ¬†Vertigo even though I'm horizontal. Burning skin. Crying starts. ¬†Haven't been able to cry for at least 2 weeks even though I have wanted to. So this was a welcome release.
  • 11:30am¬†- 12:00 dry wretching, vomiting. Completely drained of the last drop of the little energy I had left. ¬†Muscular pain dissoves¬†into muscular weakness. Remain on the bathroom floor without the strength to move. ¬†Back to bed. More crying. ¬†Then feeling dead inside. ¬†SI. No plans. ¬†Anxiety decreasing a little.
  • 12:30pm. Have been trying to keep hydrated with water. Dizziness and vertigo. ¬†BP ok. 135/80. PR 75
  • 1:00pm medication (poison) clonazepam 0.125mg, dexamphetamine 3.75mg
  • 1:30 - 5pm dead feeling continues. ¬†Lost hope. Spend my time in bed, reading SA, trying to find hope. ¬†Slowly improving.
  • 6pm husband comes home from work...he says..."how are you feeling"...I start sobbing again
  • 8pm Had a simple ham and tomato sandwich...nausea has decrease significantly
  • 9pm Medication clonazepam 0.125mg
  • 10pm ¬†beyond exhausted but have trouble falling asleep. ¬†Think I fell asleep at about 1am and woke at 8am. 7 hours is very good for me!¬†

Feeling improved today in most areas except the muscular pain and fatigue is awful.  Flat mood. Im sweaty and am in bed. Got my glimmer of hope back.

I haven't mentioned that I take 'Levlen ED' (levonorgestrel 150ug, ethinyloestradiol 150ug).  Should I include this in my signiture? This is for the management of severe endometriosis. I have had two surgeries for this ailment.  I have been taking this for about 6 months. But was on a similar medication for about 5 years. 

 

The only other change that might have some significance is my increased sugar intake.  I usually don't eat much sugar at all but there have been multiple sweet treats available due to Christmas.  Eg. Mince Pies, chocolate, shortbread.  Staying clear of it now.

 

The following is a quote from my journal about two years ago during citalopram withdrawal...it is what I was feeling yesterday..... "I feel like I am desperately gripping to the edge of a cliff.  The waves are crashing on the jaggered rocks below.  The terror is overwhelming.  This beast is deliberately prising my fingers away...one by one.  I don't know how much longer I can hang on.  Please god, give me strength...I don't want to fall"

 

Cheers to you all my fellow warriors.  It is indeed a battlefield. K

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RealMe

Hi Kristine,

Thanks for the update.  I am so sorry about all you are going through and glad you are a little better today.  I'm just getting through this day in hopes tomorrow will be better.

Wishing you healing and hope,

RealMe

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Frogie

Hi Kristine:

 

I'm so sorry you are going through all of this. It is horrible.

 

I hope you feel better soon. Rest and take care of yourself.

 

Take care,

Frogie xx

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Kristine
1 hour ago, RealMe said:

Hi Kristine,

Thanks for the update.  I am so sorry about all you are going through and glad you are a little better today.  I'm just getting through this day in hopes tomorrow will be better.

Wishing you healing and hope,

 

Thank you RealMe,  I am so grateful to have found people like you who understand this mess. I'll drop by your thread soon. K

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Kristine
1 minute ago, Kristine said:

Hi Kristine:

 

I'm so sorry you are going through all of this. It is horrible.

 

I hope you feel better soon. Rest and take care of yourself.

 

Take care,

Frogie xx

Thank you Frogie, nausea has eased even more and I managed a protein drink :) K

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JS11
3 hours ago, Kristine said:

Thank you JS,  That quote sums it up for me.  I put it on my signature so I can read it every day and it helps keep my head above water.  I'm pleased it has helped you in some way.  Thank you for stopping by. K

 

Your journal entry from two years ago was very well spoken.  I was there the other day.  It seems that at times like that, my perspective disappears.  

 

I'm so very sorry you are experiencing such hardships.  I have dealt with the pain issues and they can be overwhelming.  You say you have your "glimmer of hope back."  Good for you what with all this going on.

 

In the words of one of my favorite cartoon fish, "Just keep swimming."  

 

take care of yourself.  I hope you get an ease of your symptoms as well. 

JS

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Kristine

Thank you JS11,

3 minutes ago, JS11 said:

Your journal entry from two years ago was very well spoken.  I was there the other day.  It seems that at times like that, my perspective disappears.

I loose my perspective as well. However, I have a piece of paper stuck on my bedroom wall which has the words..."this is only temporary" very helpful when I'm in that hell.

6 minutes ago, JS11 said:

In the words of one of my favorite cartoon fish, "Just keep swimming."

Oh ‚ėļÔłŹ I know that fish well. Thankyou for this bringing this memory back for me ūüėäūüź† Take care. K

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JS11
3 minutes ago, Kristine said:

Thank you JS11,

I loose my perspective as well. However, I have a piece of paper stuck on my bedroom wall which has the words..."this is only temporary" very helpful when I'm in that hell.

Oh ‚ėļÔłŹ I know that fish well. Thankyou for this bringing this memory back for me ūüėäūüź† Take care. K

I have magnets, post-its, little bits of paper, you name it...I like one from Winston Churchill.  (also just saw the film which was magnificent)  When you are in hell, keep going.  I think I need to get that in wall paper.  

 

Umm, I used to live in London and had some Aussie flatmates who were forever saying "Gooday," Wanted to harm them as I was the late night waitstaff and typically had only just retired.  I'm not so good at timezone math these days but what time is it there? (If addition is too big an ask, I understand.  It is difficult enough for me some days without the gift of withdrawal.)   I am in the Pacific Northwest so it is 8pm January 4.  

take care,

JS

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Frogie
28 minutes ago, Kristine said:

Thank you Frogie, nausea has eased even more and I managed a protein drink :) K

At least you were able to have a protein drink.

 

I know how you feel. I get nausea a lot.

 

Please take care of yourself.

 

Take care,

Frogie xx

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Kristine
24 minutes ago, JS11 said:

I have magnets, post-its, little bits of paper, you name it...I like one from Winston Churchill.  (also just saw the film which was magnificent)  When you are in hell, keep going.  I think I need to get that in wall paper.  

 

Umm, I used to live in London and had some Aussie flatmates who were forever saying "Gooday," Wanted to harm them as I was the late night waitstaff and typically had only just retired.  I'm not so good at timezone math these days but what time is it there? (If addition is too big an ask, I understand.  It is difficult enough for me some days without the gift of withdrawal.)   I am in the Pacific Northwest so it is 8pm January 4.  

take care,

JS

That's a great Winton Churchill quote. Short and concise ūüôā

Lol...Australian's are renowned for their slang!  interestingly the slang words and phrases uses, and the accent, differ depending which state you are in.  I live on the little island at the bottom...Tasmania (beautiful)...but I have lived all over Australia.  It is the 5th and the time is 3:40pm.  You live in a stunning location.  I think it helps being surrounded by natural beauty.

Cheers K

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Kristine
29 minutes ago, Frogie said:

I know how you feel. I get nausea a lot.

Oh Frogie...Isn't it awful :( of all my symptoms I find it so difficult to tolerate.

Take Care. K

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Kristine
3 hours ago, Kristine said:

8am Toast with Vegemite (an Aussie favourite)

Just logging my thoughts...I've noticed many people on SA struggle with hypersensitivity and allergies to foods.  I've eaten Vegemite most of my life but it occurred to me that it is high in vitamin B.  Two years ago when suffering PAWS from citalopram I introduced a vitamin B complex.  I couldn't tolerate it.  Made my nausea worse.  I've never suffered any allergies but I wonder if I am becoming more sensitive to some foods.  I don't think the Vegemite caused any of the symptoms but it may have been aggravating in some way, intensifying everything.  I really have no clue. K

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manymoretodays

Just popping in for a hi ho!  Thank you Kristine......you are doing really great getting around on the site now, and interacting!

 

I also agree with what you said somewhere above.  That so many of your symptoms could be attributed to the Dexamphetamine withdrawal.  And.......I can appreciate that, as I really went through a whopper, shortly after I got off the Adderal salts.  Especially some of the cognitive, as well as agitated/anxious/?akathesia symptoms.......oh.....I remember.  All the neuroemotions really flooded on in for me too. 

 

Interesting on the Vegemite and sensitivities.  And B complex.  Same with me and B complex at recommended usages anyway.  Vegemite translation to American?  Any idea?

 

Love, peace, healing/inrecovery, and growth,

mmt

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JustCallMeJane

Hi hun, sorry to read about your rough day/night. I too am in a wave, though nothing compared to yours. Hope you're feeling better. Hugs & thoughts. :wub:

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Kristine

Thank you lovey Jane ‚ėļÔłŹ I have stopped by your thread. K¬†

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Kristine

Hi Ho MMT,  I've been a bit of a mess, but today is much much better in comparison.  I'm not familiar with Adderal "Salts". Is it the same as dexamphetamine?  A cousin? 

 

Yes, those neuroemotions have been difficult to cope with.  Actually that's a huge understatement! 

 

2 hours ago, manymoretodays said:

Interesting on the Vegemite and sensitivities.  And B complex.  Same with me and B complex at recommended usages anyway.  Vegemite translation to American?  Any idea?

No translation. Vegemite is a very unique Australian spread.  It's a household name.  Us Aussie's like to have it on toast for breakfast...some like it in a sandwich with cheese.  It is an acquired taste.  It is a fermented yeast spread (yes, it sounds disgusting!).  I have only ever met one non Aussie who liked it...they were German.  Most people express a cat's bum face when they taste it.  It is black in colour. K 

Here is the one of the original commercial. Hilarious ūüėā ¬†https://youtu.be/Aix0cEp0N_0

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JanCarol

G'day Kristine - hellow from Sunny Brisbane!

 

On 07/12/2017 at 9:13 AM, Kristine said:

there is not much I can do about this other than stopping my nightly glass of wine. This is something that I enjoy and I don't drink to excess.

 

That's an Aussie speaking, for sure.

 

I recommend you consider stopping your nightly glass of wine.  I mean - you're doing great, but do you want to tempt fate?  It hits on the GABA receptors, the same as your benzo, and cutting out the wine is going to improve your healing time.  I know it's not excess - but - these are neurotransmitters we're talking.

 

I know - leaving life's pleasures behind is hard (oh how I miss bread!!!) but once you start to see benefits it becomes easier.

It is likely a temporary adjustment and in a few year's time, a glass will go down quite nicely.

 

On 07/12/2017 at 9:13 AM, Kristine said:

 I have more recently told her about Will Hall's 'harm reduction guide to coming off psychiatric drugs' and she printed out a copy for herself.

 

:D That's much better than my psychiatrist (who I thought was exceptional, but yours sounds better).  She is doing psychiatric acupuncture, mindfulness (she loves Jon Kabat-Zinn) and is a great listener and good at thinking about alternatives - but 

When I printed out Will Hall for her, and a summary of the Icarus Guide - she said, "Who is this?  He's not a doctor!" and completely dismissed it!  Well, I couldn't find a "study" (heck most of them are corrupt) or doctor who presented the 10% tapering plan...so I had to give her an ultimatum.  "We've been together 10 years," I said, "and I will do this.  I'd rather you be involved, but if I must, I'll find another."  She caved to my bullying, and reluctantly supported my tapers, clucking her tongue the whole way!

I'm trying to catch up - you arrived in December and - wow, I'm 5 pages behind already.  Please be patient, I'm the slowest mod.  Your writing is clear and profound.  You will do well.

 

I hope you see the sun today!  (that was one of my p-docs best suggestions)

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