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☼ Thelongestroadhome: long road back with Lexapro

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Kristine

Hi LRH,  I'm hoping this horrible wave will pass soon.  Please know you are in my thoughts. Sending you love and hugs. K xo


  • Citalopram 20mg - 40mg ~ approx 2010 - October 2015 (stopped over one week)
  • Parnate  20mg - 50mg and olazapine 5mg ~ Jan 2016 - May 2016 (ceased over 2 days) 
  • Lithium 450mg-900 mg and Thyroxin ~May 2016 - May 2017
  • Diazepam various doses (including PRN) ~ 2015 - 2017
  • Oxazepam various doses (including PRN) ~ May 2016 - June 2016
  • Lurasidone 20mg ~Mid May 2016 - Mid June 2016
  • Vortioxetine 10mg - 20mg ~ 6th June 2016 - 20th July 2016 (abruptly ceased)
  • Amitriptyline 200mg ~July 2016 - September 2016 (ceased over 1 week)
  • Nortriptyline  (dose ?) ~October 2016 ~ November 2016 (abruptly ceased)
  • Seroquel XR 100mg - 300mg ~ May 2016 - August 2017 (ceased over 3 weeks)
  • Escitalopram 10mg - 30mg ~ August 2016 - March 2017 (ceased over 2 weeks)
  • Bupropion 300mg ~ December 2016 - May 2017 (ceased over 1 week)
  • Clonazepam 1.5mg daily ~ July 2016 (started tapering May 2017 - September 2017 currently on 0.375mg..ie 0.125mg TDS) 27th May 2018 5% 0.357mg (possible paradoxical reaction - see benzo thread)  28th June 5% 0.337mg, 28th July 10% 0.303mg, 12th September10% 0.272mg, 18th September reinstated 10% due to intolerable WD 0.303mg, 1st October-11th Oct 10% (1% reduction over 10 days) 0.272mg, 22nd October clonazepam ceased crossed over 10mg diazepam
  •  Dexamphatamine 20mg ~ December 2016 (started tapering October 2017 - tapered 1.25mg 4th Dec 2017, 1.25mg 19th Dec 2017 6.25mg, Speed up decrease due to major interaction between Dex and fluoxetine- ref to thread 10% 17th Feb 2018 5.63mg, 10% 21st Feb 2018 5.1mg, 10% 26th Feb 2018 4.5mg 10% 28th Feb 4.1mg, 10% 1st March 3.7mg, 10% 5th March 3.3mg, 10% 8th March 3mg, 10% 10th March 2.7mg, 10% 12th March 2.4mg, 10% 14th March 2.16mg, 10% 16th March 1.94mg, 10% 18th March 1.74mg, 10% 20th March 1.57mg, 10% 21st March 1.41mg, 10% 22nd March 1.26mg, 10% 23rd March 1.13mg, 10% 24th March 1.01mg, 10% 25th March 0.9mg, 10% 27th March 0.81mg, 10% 29th March 0.73mg, 10% 31st March 0.66mg, 10% 2nd April 0.59mg , 10% 4th April 0.53mg, 10% 6th April 0.47mg, 10% 8th April 0.42mg, 10%10th April 0.37mg, 11th April 0.2mg, 12th April 0.1mg (last dose) OFF! 
  • Fluoxetine 40mg ~December 2016 -.31 Jan 2018 reduced to 20mg (probable serotonin toxicity) 10th March 2020 10mg, 7th April 9mg, 1st May 8.5mg, 15th May 8.0mg, 27th May 7.5mg, 8th Sept 7.2mg, 2nd Oct 7mg, 19th Oct 6.8mg, 28th Oct 6.6mg 
  • Diazepam 10mg ~ 22nd Oct 2018, 10th November 8mg, 14th Nov 7mg, 8th December 6mg, 30th December 5mg (Nocte), 7th March 2019 4.5mg,14th March 4mg, 5th April 3.5mg, 9th April 3mg, 18th April 2.5mg,1st May 2mg, 17th May 1.75mg, 25th May 1.6mg, 4th June 1.59mg, 5th June 1.58mg, 6th June 1.57mg, 7th June 1.56mg, 8th June 1.55mg, 22nd June 1.4mg, 4th July 1.2mg, 16th July 1mg, 30th July 0.8mg, 13th Aug 0.6mg, 28th Aug 0.4mg, 10th Sept 0.2mg, 23rd Sept Off! 
  • SR Circadin 2mg (melatonin) 25th May - 20th June 
  • Zolpidem 10mg 25th May (7 tablets)
  • Supplements: Magnesium glycinate (soluble - sip throughout the day) 

 

"Whenever you feel yourself doubting how far you can go,  just remember how far you have come.  Remember everything you have faced, all the battles you have won, and all the fears you have overcome"    Unknown 

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Thelongestroadhome
9 hours ago, Happy2Heal said:

I'm sorry you're in a wave, it will pass but it's crummy when you're in it.


I think some days we need a day off from it all, to just do nothing at all. Maybe today is your day.

 

I found that some of the selfcare stuff would start to actually trigger me, because it reminded me of withdrawal/recovery and the long hard road that it can be.  :/

 

so don't beat yourself up for letting things go, maybe that's just what you need to do for now.

 

the tools will still be there for you when you want to use them.

 

I hope things smooth out for you very quickly! 

 

I can't believe that I am saying this but after the worst day yesterday I woke up feeling like a weight had been lifted from me. This is not unusual, it has happened before. I hesitate to even write this down but it appears that shortly after an awful day I awake the next morning feeling so much better. In my mind I imagine that some major work is happening in my brain on those bad days and then it stops and allows me to recuperate before the next major overhaul. Whatever, I am just grateful to be feeling better today. I am going to make the most of it. Yesterday I felt like I couldn't continue feeling as bad as I did (not suicidal just scared........very very scared) and today I feel as though life is good again. Weird.


Current...Drug free since September 2018

December 2007 30mg Lexapro and a benzodiazepine December 2008 25mg, December 2009 20mg, December 2010 15mg Lexapro, December 2011 10mg Lexapro. Long hold as I felt happy with the dose and saw no need at the time to reduce further. September 2015 dropped to 5mg. Terrible anxiety started two months later. June 2016 dropped to 3mg and terrible obsessive thoughts and anxiety so ten days later I reinstated back to 5mg. October 2016 dropped to 4mg. April 2017 dropped to 3mg. September 2017 dropped to 2mg. Terrible obsessive thoughts. Anxiety through the roof. OCD.  September 2018 quit cold turkey 2mg Lexapro. March 2019 feeling better than I have in years. 

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Thelongestroadhome
3 hours ago, Kristine said:

Hi LRH,  I'm hoping this horrible wave will pass soon.  Please know you are in my thoughts. Sending you love and hugs. K xo

Thank you K. As I wrote above to LG, today I woke up feeling much better. I was so scared yesterday and honestly didn't know how I was going to get through the day. I am very grateful for a big window today. 


Current...Drug free since September 2018

December 2007 30mg Lexapro and a benzodiazepine December 2008 25mg, December 2009 20mg, December 2010 15mg Lexapro, December 2011 10mg Lexapro. Long hold as I felt happy with the dose and saw no need at the time to reduce further. September 2015 dropped to 5mg. Terrible anxiety started two months later. June 2016 dropped to 3mg and terrible obsessive thoughts and anxiety so ten days later I reinstated back to 5mg. October 2016 dropped to 4mg. April 2017 dropped to 3mg. September 2017 dropped to 2mg. Terrible obsessive thoughts. Anxiety through the roof. OCD.  September 2018 quit cold turkey 2mg Lexapro. March 2019 feeling better than I have in years. 

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Kristine
2 minutes ago, Longestroadhome said:

Thank you K. As I wrote above to LG, today I woke up feeling much better. I was so scared yesterday and honestly didn't know how I was going to get through the day. I am very grateful for a big window today. 

This is wonderful news LRH!! I am so happy for you :) May this window stay wide open! Love K xo


  • Citalopram 20mg - 40mg ~ approx 2010 - October 2015 (stopped over one week)
  • Parnate  20mg - 50mg and olazapine 5mg ~ Jan 2016 - May 2016 (ceased over 2 days) 
  • Lithium 450mg-900 mg and Thyroxin ~May 2016 - May 2017
  • Diazepam various doses (including PRN) ~ 2015 - 2017
  • Oxazepam various doses (including PRN) ~ May 2016 - June 2016
  • Lurasidone 20mg ~Mid May 2016 - Mid June 2016
  • Vortioxetine 10mg - 20mg ~ 6th June 2016 - 20th July 2016 (abruptly ceased)
  • Amitriptyline 200mg ~July 2016 - September 2016 (ceased over 1 week)
  • Nortriptyline  (dose ?) ~October 2016 ~ November 2016 (abruptly ceased)
  • Seroquel XR 100mg - 300mg ~ May 2016 - August 2017 (ceased over 3 weeks)
  • Escitalopram 10mg - 30mg ~ August 2016 - March 2017 (ceased over 2 weeks)
  • Bupropion 300mg ~ December 2016 - May 2017 (ceased over 1 week)
  • Clonazepam 1.5mg daily ~ July 2016 (started tapering May 2017 - September 2017 currently on 0.375mg..ie 0.125mg TDS) 27th May 2018 5% 0.357mg (possible paradoxical reaction - see benzo thread)  28th June 5% 0.337mg, 28th July 10% 0.303mg, 12th September10% 0.272mg, 18th September reinstated 10% due to intolerable WD 0.303mg, 1st October-11th Oct 10% (1% reduction over 10 days) 0.272mg, 22nd October clonazepam ceased crossed over 10mg diazepam
  •  Dexamphatamine 20mg ~ December 2016 (started tapering October 2017 - tapered 1.25mg 4th Dec 2017, 1.25mg 19th Dec 2017 6.25mg, Speed up decrease due to major interaction between Dex and fluoxetine- ref to thread 10% 17th Feb 2018 5.63mg, 10% 21st Feb 2018 5.1mg, 10% 26th Feb 2018 4.5mg 10% 28th Feb 4.1mg, 10% 1st March 3.7mg, 10% 5th March 3.3mg, 10% 8th March 3mg, 10% 10th March 2.7mg, 10% 12th March 2.4mg, 10% 14th March 2.16mg, 10% 16th March 1.94mg, 10% 18th March 1.74mg, 10% 20th March 1.57mg, 10% 21st March 1.41mg, 10% 22nd March 1.26mg, 10% 23rd March 1.13mg, 10% 24th March 1.01mg, 10% 25th March 0.9mg, 10% 27th March 0.81mg, 10% 29th March 0.73mg, 10% 31st March 0.66mg, 10% 2nd April 0.59mg , 10% 4th April 0.53mg, 10% 6th April 0.47mg, 10% 8th April 0.42mg, 10%10th April 0.37mg, 11th April 0.2mg, 12th April 0.1mg (last dose) OFF! 
  • Fluoxetine 40mg ~December 2016 -.31 Jan 2018 reduced to 20mg (probable serotonin toxicity) 10th March 2020 10mg, 7th April 9mg, 1st May 8.5mg, 15th May 8.0mg, 27th May 7.5mg, 8th Sept 7.2mg, 2nd Oct 7mg, 19th Oct 6.8mg, 28th Oct 6.6mg 
  • Diazepam 10mg ~ 22nd Oct 2018, 10th November 8mg, 14th Nov 7mg, 8th December 6mg, 30th December 5mg (Nocte), 7th March 2019 4.5mg,14th March 4mg, 5th April 3.5mg, 9th April 3mg, 18th April 2.5mg,1st May 2mg, 17th May 1.75mg, 25th May 1.6mg, 4th June 1.59mg, 5th June 1.58mg, 6th June 1.57mg, 7th June 1.56mg, 8th June 1.55mg, 22nd June 1.4mg, 4th July 1.2mg, 16th July 1mg, 30th July 0.8mg, 13th Aug 0.6mg, 28th Aug 0.4mg, 10th Sept 0.2mg, 23rd Sept Off! 
  • SR Circadin 2mg (melatonin) 25th May - 20th June 
  • Zolpidem 10mg 25th May (7 tablets)
  • Supplements: Magnesium glycinate (soluble - sip throughout the day) 

 

"Whenever you feel yourself doubting how far you can go,  just remember how far you have come.  Remember everything you have faced, all the battles you have won, and all the fears you have overcome"    Unknown 

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Happy2Heal

yay, a window! enjoy it.

 

I, too, would imagine that a lot of work was being done in my brain during a wave, and would try to hold on to that, knowing- or at least hoping- that soon I'd feel a lot better.

 

so glad that was the case for you

:)

 


  • pysch med history: 1974 @ age 18 to Oct 2017 (approx 43 yrs total)
  •  Drug list: stelazine, haldol, elavil, lithium, zoloft, celexa, lexapro(doses as high as 40mgs), klonopin, ambien, seroquel(high doses), depakote, zyprexa, lamictalBrief trials of dozens of other psych meds over the years
  • started lexapro 2002, dose varied from 20mgs to 40mgs. I tried to get off it several times. WD symptoms were mistaken for "relapse". 
  •  2013 tapered down to 5mg but WD forced me back to 20mgs
  •  June of 2105, tapered again, too rapidly to 2.5mgs by Dec 2015. Found SA, held at 2.5 mgs til May 2016 when I foolishly "jumped off". Crashed in Sept, reinstated at 0.3mgs in Oct. 2106
  • Tapered off to zero by  Oct. 2017 Doing very well
  • Nov. 2018 feel 95% healed, current age 63 
  • Jan. 2020 feel 100% healed, peaceful and content 
 

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Littlegrandma

LRH 

so happy you experienced a window yesterday. It’s about time!!

yay.   You deserve that. Hope it continues through today. 

 

Question for you that that we’ve already covered.....

when you tapered from benzo, you were on the lexapro but not tapering, correct?  I know you said you never had toxic sleep again once the benzo was gone. Would you mind recapping for me?

thanks. Lg


Lex  4.3mg,  3/2/18  Ativan ,5 mg,  lunesta 2 mg , toprol  25 mg                                                            

 

Oct 16-28 2018 C/O to 19 mg V from 1.5 mg Ativan, 1.3 mg lunesta 

jan 22 2019- 11 mg V

jan 23 - pneumonia, 2 AB’s. 

    Hold taper

july 5- 10.72 V

July 6- 11 mg V- ugly bad

july 11- 10.72 mg V, 4.3 lex, 

              25 mg toprol

 

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Thelongestroadhome
16 hours ago, Kristine said:

This is wonderful news LRH!! I am so happy for you :) May this window stay wide open! Love K xo

Thank you, I hope so too 😘


Current...Drug free since September 2018

December 2007 30mg Lexapro and a benzodiazepine December 2008 25mg, December 2009 20mg, December 2010 15mg Lexapro, December 2011 10mg Lexapro. Long hold as I felt happy with the dose and saw no need at the time to reduce further. September 2015 dropped to 5mg. Terrible anxiety started two months later. June 2016 dropped to 3mg and terrible obsessive thoughts and anxiety so ten days later I reinstated back to 5mg. October 2016 dropped to 4mg. April 2017 dropped to 3mg. September 2017 dropped to 2mg. Terrible obsessive thoughts. Anxiety through the roof. OCD.  September 2018 quit cold turkey 2mg Lexapro. March 2019 feeling better than I have in years. 

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Thelongestroadhome
9 hours ago, Happy2Heal said:

yay, a window! enjoy it.

 

I, too, would imagine that a lot of work was being done in my brain during a wave, and would try to hold on to that, knowing- or at least hoping- that soon I'd feel a lot better.

 

so glad that was the case for you

:)

 

Thank you, it helps me to think like that. Makes it seem worthwhile in a horrible kind of way!


Current...Drug free since September 2018

December 2007 30mg Lexapro and a benzodiazepine December 2008 25mg, December 2009 20mg, December 2010 15mg Lexapro, December 2011 10mg Lexapro. Long hold as I felt happy with the dose and saw no need at the time to reduce further. September 2015 dropped to 5mg. Terrible anxiety started two months later. June 2016 dropped to 3mg and terrible obsessive thoughts and anxiety so ten days later I reinstated back to 5mg. October 2016 dropped to 4mg. April 2017 dropped to 3mg. September 2017 dropped to 2mg. Terrible obsessive thoughts. Anxiety through the roof. OCD.  September 2018 quit cold turkey 2mg Lexapro. March 2019 feeling better than I have in years. 

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Thelongestroadhome
7 hours ago, Littlegrandma said:

LRH 

so happy you experienced a window yesterday. It’s about time!!

yay.   You deserve that. Hope it continues through today. 

 

Question for you that that we’ve already covered.....

when you tapered from benzo, you were on the lexapro but not tapering, correct?  I know you said you never had toxic sleep again once the benzo was gone. Would you mind recapping for me?

thanks. Lg

Hi LG

yes, I was put on a benzodiazepine at the same time as lexapro. The psych told me it would cover the period until the AD took effect. I was on it for six months when a family member who is a nurse heard me mention it and questioned why I was still on it. That made me google it and I was horrified at what I read. I researched enough to know that I had to do a slow taper. I started shaving tiny bits off ( not a good idea but knew no better) and it took me six months to get off completely. So I was on the benzo for just over twelve months. 

 

At that time I was on 25mg  Lexapro. I know now that the Benzodiazepine stopped working for me around about six weeks. It ceased to have the same calming effect. If I slept during the day I would wake in sheer panic with extreme anxiety. Initially at night it helped me get to sleep but then it had the reverse effect. I would be in a state of heightened anxiety and unable to sleep. If I did fall asleep I would wake after a few hours feeling jittery. 

 

I can can honestly say that once I quit the Benzodiazepine I started feeling a lot better.My sleep improved, the excessive anxiety left and I felt much calmer.  I did a lot of work on myself with meditation and found that helped a lot. I personally believe that the benzo turned on me at about six weeks and did the opposite of what it was supposed to do. It was only years later that I heard the term toxic sleep and knew that was what I had experienced. If my sister in law had not spoken up about her concerns of me being on a  benzodiazepine I would probably still be on it! My doctor never once expressed any concerns about giving me repeat prescriptions. I read a few years ago about singer Stevie Nicks and her battle to get off a Benzodiazepine. She said it was the worst thing she had ever had to do!


Current...Drug free since September 2018

December 2007 30mg Lexapro and a benzodiazepine December 2008 25mg, December 2009 20mg, December 2010 15mg Lexapro, December 2011 10mg Lexapro. Long hold as I felt happy with the dose and saw no need at the time to reduce further. September 2015 dropped to 5mg. Terrible anxiety started two months later. June 2016 dropped to 3mg and terrible obsessive thoughts and anxiety so ten days later I reinstated back to 5mg. October 2016 dropped to 4mg. April 2017 dropped to 3mg. September 2017 dropped to 2mg. Terrible obsessive thoughts. Anxiety through the roof. OCD.  September 2018 quit cold turkey 2mg Lexapro. March 2019 feeling better than I have in years. 

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Littlegrandma

Thanks LRH

Another good day? Good for you. There’s hope for all of us. 

 

I read stevie nicks story. It was terrifying. She was on a massive dose though. But I also went through xanax wd 30 yrs ago. Swore I’d never take another benzo. I came off quickly inpatient and didn’t fully recover for 18 mo but the first 2 mo were the roughest. 

 

Like you, I’ve been on it for 6 mo. I really think it might be causing me more problems than the lexapro. I don’t know anymore. My symptoms are all over the place. Physical and emotional. But my sleep is very toxic. I always wake up with the tremors early a.m.  I don’t try to go back to sleep because I will only dose for minutes and wake up with terror, sometimes screaming out loud. My dr said it’s benzo wd.  I wonder if it would be better to hold lex right now and taper the Ativan. 

AliG is going to be in touch with me soon. I’ll talk to her about it. Shep thought I should hold the benzo and taper lex first, but that will take me years. I can’t be on all these meds for years more. I wouldn’t survive it. 

 

Thanks for your time. So happy for you having a good window!!

hugs lg


Lex  4.3mg,  3/2/18  Ativan ,5 mg,  lunesta 2 mg , toprol  25 mg                                                            

 

Oct 16-28 2018 C/O to 19 mg V from 1.5 mg Ativan, 1.3 mg lunesta 

jan 22 2019- 11 mg V

jan 23 - pneumonia, 2 AB’s. 

    Hold taper

july 5- 10.72 V

July 6- 11 mg V- ugly bad

july 11- 10.72 mg V, 4.3 lex, 

              25 mg toprol

 

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Kristine
3 hours ago, Longestroadhome said:

yes, I was put on a benzodiazepine at the same time as lexapro. The psych told me it would cover the period until the AD took effect. I was on it for six months when a family member who is a nurse heard me mention it and questioned why I was still on it. That made me google it and I was horrified at what I read. I researched enough to know that I had to do a slow taper. I started shaving tiny bits off ( not a good idea but knew no better) and it took me six months to get off completely. So I was on the benzo for just over twelve months. 

 

At that time I was on 25mg  Lexapro. I know now that the Benzodiazepine stopped working for me around about six weeks. It ceased to have the same calming effect. If I slept during the day I would wake in sheer panic with extreme anxiety. Initially at night it helped me get to sleep but then it had the reverse effect. I would be in a state of heightened anxiety and unable to sleep. If I did fall asleep I would wake after a few hours feeling jittery. 

 

I can can honestly say that once I quit the Benzodiazepine I started feeling a lot better.My sleep improved, the excessive anxiety left and I felt much calmer.  I did a lot of work on myself with meditation and found that helped a lot. I personally believe that the benzo turned on me at about six weeks and did the opposite of what it was supposed to do. It was only years later that I heard the term toxic sleep and knew that was what I had experienced. If my sister in law had not spoken up about her concerns of me being on a  benzodiazepine I would probably still be on it! My doctor never once expressed any concerns about giving me repeat prescriptions. I read a few years ago about singer Stevie Nicks and her battle to get off a Benzodiazepine. She said it was the worst thing she had ever had to do!

Hey LRH...firstly, I am so very happy that you continue to feel improved! Truly wonderful news! Secondly, if you don't mind me asking...what benzo were you on? The answer is probably right in front of me but I can't see it!!! I have very similar suspicions about the clonazepam I take.  Love K xo


  • Citalopram 20mg - 40mg ~ approx 2010 - October 2015 (stopped over one week)
  • Parnate  20mg - 50mg and olazapine 5mg ~ Jan 2016 - May 2016 (ceased over 2 days) 
  • Lithium 450mg-900 mg and Thyroxin ~May 2016 - May 2017
  • Diazepam various doses (including PRN) ~ 2015 - 2017
  • Oxazepam various doses (including PRN) ~ May 2016 - June 2016
  • Lurasidone 20mg ~Mid May 2016 - Mid June 2016
  • Vortioxetine 10mg - 20mg ~ 6th June 2016 - 20th July 2016 (abruptly ceased)
  • Amitriptyline 200mg ~July 2016 - September 2016 (ceased over 1 week)
  • Nortriptyline  (dose ?) ~October 2016 ~ November 2016 (abruptly ceased)
  • Seroquel XR 100mg - 300mg ~ May 2016 - August 2017 (ceased over 3 weeks)
  • Escitalopram 10mg - 30mg ~ August 2016 - March 2017 (ceased over 2 weeks)
  • Bupropion 300mg ~ December 2016 - May 2017 (ceased over 1 week)
  • Clonazepam 1.5mg daily ~ July 2016 (started tapering May 2017 - September 2017 currently on 0.375mg..ie 0.125mg TDS) 27th May 2018 5% 0.357mg (possible paradoxical reaction - see benzo thread)  28th June 5% 0.337mg, 28th July 10% 0.303mg, 12th September10% 0.272mg, 18th September reinstated 10% due to intolerable WD 0.303mg, 1st October-11th Oct 10% (1% reduction over 10 days) 0.272mg, 22nd October clonazepam ceased crossed over 10mg diazepam
  •  Dexamphatamine 20mg ~ December 2016 (started tapering October 2017 - tapered 1.25mg 4th Dec 2017, 1.25mg 19th Dec 2017 6.25mg, Speed up decrease due to major interaction between Dex and fluoxetine- ref to thread 10% 17th Feb 2018 5.63mg, 10% 21st Feb 2018 5.1mg, 10% 26th Feb 2018 4.5mg 10% 28th Feb 4.1mg, 10% 1st March 3.7mg, 10% 5th March 3.3mg, 10% 8th March 3mg, 10% 10th March 2.7mg, 10% 12th March 2.4mg, 10% 14th March 2.16mg, 10% 16th March 1.94mg, 10% 18th March 1.74mg, 10% 20th March 1.57mg, 10% 21st March 1.41mg, 10% 22nd March 1.26mg, 10% 23rd March 1.13mg, 10% 24th March 1.01mg, 10% 25th March 0.9mg, 10% 27th March 0.81mg, 10% 29th March 0.73mg, 10% 31st March 0.66mg, 10% 2nd April 0.59mg , 10% 4th April 0.53mg, 10% 6th April 0.47mg, 10% 8th April 0.42mg, 10%10th April 0.37mg, 11th April 0.2mg, 12th April 0.1mg (last dose) OFF! 
  • Fluoxetine 40mg ~December 2016 -.31 Jan 2018 reduced to 20mg (probable serotonin toxicity) 10th March 2020 10mg, 7th April 9mg, 1st May 8.5mg, 15th May 8.0mg, 27th May 7.5mg, 8th Sept 7.2mg, 2nd Oct 7mg, 19th Oct 6.8mg, 28th Oct 6.6mg 
  • Diazepam 10mg ~ 22nd Oct 2018, 10th November 8mg, 14th Nov 7mg, 8th December 6mg, 30th December 5mg (Nocte), 7th March 2019 4.5mg,14th March 4mg, 5th April 3.5mg, 9th April 3mg, 18th April 2.5mg,1st May 2mg, 17th May 1.75mg, 25th May 1.6mg, 4th June 1.59mg, 5th June 1.58mg, 6th June 1.57mg, 7th June 1.56mg, 8th June 1.55mg, 22nd June 1.4mg, 4th July 1.2mg, 16th July 1mg, 30th July 0.8mg, 13th Aug 0.6mg, 28th Aug 0.4mg, 10th Sept 0.2mg, 23rd Sept Off! 
  • SR Circadin 2mg (melatonin) 25th May - 20th June 
  • Zolpidem 10mg 25th May (7 tablets)
  • Supplements: Magnesium glycinate (soluble - sip throughout the day) 

 

"Whenever you feel yourself doubting how far you can go,  just remember how far you have come.  Remember everything you have faced, all the battles you have won, and all the fears you have overcome"    Unknown 

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Thelongestroadhome
10 hours ago, Kristine said:

Hey LRH...firstly, I am so very happy that you continue to feel improved! Truly wonderful news! Secondly, if you don't mind me asking...what benzo were you on? The answer is probably right in front of me but I can't see it!!! I have very similar suspicions about the clonazepam I take.  Love K xo

Hi K. Yes, today was a good day although I am always looking around like a scared deer waiting for danger. I don't know if that will ever leave me. I guess it comes from the roller coaster ride of withdrawal. 

I was racking my brain trying to remember the name of the Benzo I was on. I 'think' it was Lorazapam. I will have to check with my doctor next time I visit. It was a long time ago now. I honestly felt much better once I was off that medication.


Current...Drug free since September 2018

December 2007 30mg Lexapro and a benzodiazepine December 2008 25mg, December 2009 20mg, December 2010 15mg Lexapro, December 2011 10mg Lexapro. Long hold as I felt happy with the dose and saw no need at the time to reduce further. September 2015 dropped to 5mg. Terrible anxiety started two months later. June 2016 dropped to 3mg and terrible obsessive thoughts and anxiety so ten days later I reinstated back to 5mg. October 2016 dropped to 4mg. April 2017 dropped to 3mg. September 2017 dropped to 2mg. Terrible obsessive thoughts. Anxiety through the roof. OCD.  September 2018 quit cold turkey 2mg Lexapro. March 2019 feeling better than I have in years. 

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Kristine
4 minutes ago, Longestroadhome said:

 

10 hours ago, Kristine said:

Hey LRH...firstly, I am so very happy that you continue to feel improved! Truly wonderful news! Secondly, if you don't mind me asking...what benzo were you on? The answer is probably right in front of me but I can't see it!!! I have very similar suspicions about the clonazepam I take.  Love K xo

Hi K. Yes, today was a good day although I am always looking around like a scared deer waiting for danger. I don't know if that will ever leave me. I guess it comes from the roller coaster ride of withdrawal. 

I was racking my brain trying to remember the name of the Benzo I was on. I 'think' it was Lorazapam. I will have to check with my doctor next time I visit. It was a long time ago now. I honestly felt much better once I was off that medication.

 

I love hearing good news! You go girl! I get the scared deer :huh: no worries about the benzo...I was just curious....horrible drugs.  i should probably try and go to sleep (again).....gotta love insomnia. Hugs K xo


  • Citalopram 20mg - 40mg ~ approx 2010 - October 2015 (stopped over one week)
  • Parnate  20mg - 50mg and olazapine 5mg ~ Jan 2016 - May 2016 (ceased over 2 days) 
  • Lithium 450mg-900 mg and Thyroxin ~May 2016 - May 2017
  • Diazepam various doses (including PRN) ~ 2015 - 2017
  • Oxazepam various doses (including PRN) ~ May 2016 - June 2016
  • Lurasidone 20mg ~Mid May 2016 - Mid June 2016
  • Vortioxetine 10mg - 20mg ~ 6th June 2016 - 20th July 2016 (abruptly ceased)
  • Amitriptyline 200mg ~July 2016 - September 2016 (ceased over 1 week)
  • Nortriptyline  (dose ?) ~October 2016 ~ November 2016 (abruptly ceased)
  • Seroquel XR 100mg - 300mg ~ May 2016 - August 2017 (ceased over 3 weeks)
  • Escitalopram 10mg - 30mg ~ August 2016 - March 2017 (ceased over 2 weeks)
  • Bupropion 300mg ~ December 2016 - May 2017 (ceased over 1 week)
  • Clonazepam 1.5mg daily ~ July 2016 (started tapering May 2017 - September 2017 currently on 0.375mg..ie 0.125mg TDS) 27th May 2018 5% 0.357mg (possible paradoxical reaction - see benzo thread)  28th June 5% 0.337mg, 28th July 10% 0.303mg, 12th September10% 0.272mg, 18th September reinstated 10% due to intolerable WD 0.303mg, 1st October-11th Oct 10% (1% reduction over 10 days) 0.272mg, 22nd October clonazepam ceased crossed over 10mg diazepam
  •  Dexamphatamine 20mg ~ December 2016 (started tapering October 2017 - tapered 1.25mg 4th Dec 2017, 1.25mg 19th Dec 2017 6.25mg, Speed up decrease due to major interaction between Dex and fluoxetine- ref to thread 10% 17th Feb 2018 5.63mg, 10% 21st Feb 2018 5.1mg, 10% 26th Feb 2018 4.5mg 10% 28th Feb 4.1mg, 10% 1st March 3.7mg, 10% 5th March 3.3mg, 10% 8th March 3mg, 10% 10th March 2.7mg, 10% 12th March 2.4mg, 10% 14th March 2.16mg, 10% 16th March 1.94mg, 10% 18th March 1.74mg, 10% 20th March 1.57mg, 10% 21st March 1.41mg, 10% 22nd March 1.26mg, 10% 23rd March 1.13mg, 10% 24th March 1.01mg, 10% 25th March 0.9mg, 10% 27th March 0.81mg, 10% 29th March 0.73mg, 10% 31st March 0.66mg, 10% 2nd April 0.59mg , 10% 4th April 0.53mg, 10% 6th April 0.47mg, 10% 8th April 0.42mg, 10%10th April 0.37mg, 11th April 0.2mg, 12th April 0.1mg (last dose) OFF! 
  • Fluoxetine 40mg ~December 2016 -.31 Jan 2018 reduced to 20mg (probable serotonin toxicity) 10th March 2020 10mg, 7th April 9mg, 1st May 8.5mg, 15th May 8.0mg, 27th May 7.5mg, 8th Sept 7.2mg, 2nd Oct 7mg, 19th Oct 6.8mg, 28th Oct 6.6mg 
  • Diazepam 10mg ~ 22nd Oct 2018, 10th November 8mg, 14th Nov 7mg, 8th December 6mg, 30th December 5mg (Nocte), 7th March 2019 4.5mg,14th March 4mg, 5th April 3.5mg, 9th April 3mg, 18th April 2.5mg,1st May 2mg, 17th May 1.75mg, 25th May 1.6mg, 4th June 1.59mg, 5th June 1.58mg, 6th June 1.57mg, 7th June 1.56mg, 8th June 1.55mg, 22nd June 1.4mg, 4th July 1.2mg, 16th July 1mg, 30th July 0.8mg, 13th Aug 0.6mg, 28th Aug 0.4mg, 10th Sept 0.2mg, 23rd Sept Off! 
  • SR Circadin 2mg (melatonin) 25th May - 20th June 
  • Zolpidem 10mg 25th May (7 tablets)
  • Supplements: Magnesium glycinate (soluble - sip throughout the day) 

 

"Whenever you feel yourself doubting how far you can go,  just remember how far you have come.  Remember everything you have faced, all the battles you have won, and all the fears you have overcome"    Unknown 

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Thelongestroadhome
11 hours ago, Littlegrandma said:

Thanks LRH

Another good day? Good for you. There’s hope for all of us. 

 

I read stevie nicks story. It was terrifying. She was on a massive dose though. But I also went through xanax wd 30 yrs ago. Swore I’d never take another benzo. I came off quickly inpatient and didn’t fully recover for 18 mo but the first 2 mo were the roughest. 

 

Like you, I’ve been on it for 6 mo. I really think it might be causing me more problems than the lexapro. I don’t know anymore. My symptoms are all over the place. Physical and emotional. But my sleep is very toxic. I always wake up with the tremors early a.m.  I don’t try to go back to sleep because I will only dose for minutes and wake up with terror, sometimes screaming out loud. My dr said it’s benzo wd.  I wonder if it would be better to hold lex right now and taper the Ativan. 

AliG is going to be in touch with me soon. I’ll talk to her about it. Shep thought I should hold the benzo and taper lex first, but that will take me years. I can’t be on all these meds for years more. I wouldn’t survive it. 

 

Thanks for your time. So happy for you having a good window!!

hugs lg

Hi LG. I am loathe to give out suggestions because I can only speak from my personal experience. I am definitely no expert in the field of withdrawal. I personally struggle with the concept of coming off antidepressants first because that means that you will be on the benzodiazepine for an extended period of time. I think that most experts agree that Benzos cause a lot of problems. For me I felt much better once I was off the benzo. Like I said before my sleep returned to normal, no more toxic sleep or waking up in a state of panic. No more nightmares. No more waking in the middle of the night with heightened anxiety. No more jittery nerves first thing in the morning. I was, however on a high dose of Lexapro at the time and had not even considered withdrawing from it at that stage. I personally believe that the Lexapro worked much better without the interaction of the Benzo. I do seem to remember reading a study confirming that too. 

Please do your own research. My experience may be different to someone else's. I certainly don't want to go against what the moderators here suggest. Much love!


Current...Drug free since September 2018

December 2007 30mg Lexapro and a benzodiazepine December 2008 25mg, December 2009 20mg, December 2010 15mg Lexapro, December 2011 10mg Lexapro. Long hold as I felt happy with the dose and saw no need at the time to reduce further. September 2015 dropped to 5mg. Terrible anxiety started two months later. June 2016 dropped to 3mg and terrible obsessive thoughts and anxiety so ten days later I reinstated back to 5mg. October 2016 dropped to 4mg. April 2017 dropped to 3mg. September 2017 dropped to 2mg. Terrible obsessive thoughts. Anxiety through the roof. OCD.  September 2018 quit cold turkey 2mg Lexapro. March 2019 feeling better than I have in years. 

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Thelongestroadhome

I found the following article very interesting. What concerned me the most was the long lasting symptoms of Benzodiazepines , some extending to years after withdrawal.  https://benzo.org.uk/pws04.htm

 

 

A variety of perceptual and motor symptoms are characteristic of benzodiazepine withdrawal (Table 1). These usually subside during the acute withdrawal phase, but may sometimes be prolonged.

1. Tinnitus. Tinnitus may initially result from generalised sensory hypersensitivity seen in early withdrawal, but may persist after the symptoms have disappeared. Busto et al.(43) describe two cases of tinnitus persisting for 6 and 12 months after benzodiazepine withdrawal, and they mention a third patient who was unable to withdraw because of severe tinnitus at each attempt. Ashton(1) reported four cases of intractable unilateral or bilateral tinnitus first appearing during benzodiazepine withdrawal and persisting over several years. Three of these patients had symmetrical bilateral hearing defects, which may have been a causative or aggravating factor. Other case reports have appeared sporadically in the literature. Tinnitus, which is often experienced as being precisely localised, can reach almost intolerable levels. One patient described her tinnitus as "a needle of sound" piercing somewhere deep inside her head.

2. Paraesthesiae. Tingling or numbness in the extremities, scalp, or face is common in benzodiazepine withdrawal and in anxiety states and may be associated with hyperventilation. It may persist as continuing "pins and needles"(6) or as severe burning pain without demonstrable neurological cause(5). Two such cases were described by Ashton(1).

Other perceptual disturbances, including sensations of movement, inner vibration, and bizarre skin sensations, may persist in the absence of any detectable psychopathology.

3. Motor Symptoms. Increased muscle tension, hyperreflexia, tremor, fasciculation, and muscle jerking are common in early withdrawal. These signs may represent rebound from the myorelaxant effects of benzodiazepines. However, a range of these symptoms may persist for months or years, including tension, weakness, muscle cramps, tremor, shaking attacks, muscle jerks, and blepharospasm(1,6). As with sensory disturbances, long-lasting motor symptoms are not necessarily associated with high levels of anxiety or other mood disorder.

4. Gastrointestinal Symptoms

Gastrointestinal symptoms are common during chronic benzodiazepine use and in withdrawal and usually fit into such categories as "nervous diarrhoea" or "irritable bowel syndrome", which may be aggravated by hyperventilation(44). Such symptoms may disappear after withdrawal, but are prominent in some patients who develop a post-withdrawal syndrome. Common complaints are of gaseous abdominal distension, lower abdominal pain, and alternating diarrhoea and constipation. Symptoms often appear to be exacerbated by certain foods, and patients may be convinced that they have food allergies or intestinal candidiasis despite negative laboratory findings. However, the incidence of food intolerance and pseudo-allergic reactions is reported to be high in chronic hyperventilators, possibly associated with histamine release(44). The cause of these symptoms in withdrawal is not clear but the effect of benzodiazepine withdrawal on gastrointestinal function and on immune responses merits further attention.


Current...Drug free since September 2018

December 2007 30mg Lexapro and a benzodiazepine December 2008 25mg, December 2009 20mg, December 2010 15mg Lexapro, December 2011 10mg Lexapro. Long hold as I felt happy with the dose and saw no need at the time to reduce further. September 2015 dropped to 5mg. Terrible anxiety started two months later. June 2016 dropped to 3mg and terrible obsessive thoughts and anxiety so ten days later I reinstated back to 5mg. October 2016 dropped to 4mg. April 2017 dropped to 3mg. September 2017 dropped to 2mg. Terrible obsessive thoughts. Anxiety through the roof. OCD.  September 2018 quit cold turkey 2mg Lexapro. March 2019 feeling better than I have in years. 

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Littlegrandma

Oy vey

Difficult for me to read it. 

I hate these drugs!!


Lex  4.3mg,  3/2/18  Ativan ,5 mg,  lunesta 2 mg , toprol  25 mg                                                            

 

Oct 16-28 2018 C/O to 19 mg V from 1.5 mg Ativan, 1.3 mg lunesta 

jan 22 2019- 11 mg V

jan 23 - pneumonia, 2 AB’s. 

    Hold taper

july 5- 10.72 V

July 6- 11 mg V- ugly bad

july 11- 10.72 mg V, 4.3 lex, 

              25 mg toprol

 

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manymoretodays

Hi Longestroadhome,

 

Nice to meet you.  I've enjoyed some of your other posts.

 

It looks really alot like what I experienced with AD withdrawal too.  As far as the article.  Thanks for sharing.  Were you on benzo's at one time?  I'm not seeing it in your signature.   Lexapro alone though.......can be tough.  I'm glad you are tapering more cautiously now.  Many don't have real severe symptoms.......and hoping you don't either.  When you stabilize a bit.    I do need to read through some more of your introd/journal.

 

Anyway to make you feel better, I hope.............. I've got to say most of those symptoms that I experienced were intermittent, not ever constant.......as far as the ones listed goes.  What made it all more difficult were the neuroemotions around it all.  Once I could somehow shift......well, that really helped.  I recently had some tinnitus and then it was gone again.  Once in awhile a foot or hand "falls asleep" so I shake it about is all........I often get up from sitting every hour or so as that seems to help.......I'm not very sedentary except when I sleep I guess you could say.  Oh, I never get the "pins and needles" either.  Only mild and early on for me with the motor........a bit shaky was all.

 

And yes, Stevie Nicks.  I think she is back on the stage now.

 

Love, peace, healing/inrecovery, and growth,

manymoretodays

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Edited by manymoretodays

Started with psycho meds circa 1988 I think 27 or 28 total.

AD's, antpsychotics, antiseizure mood stabilizers. Lithium, lamictal ,benzos, and stimulants. Some med. for narcolepsy once(Provigil,) Gabapentin........probably more.  Ask me?......I probably was on it.  Haphazard W/D's by Dr. recommend or uneducated self.

10/2014- off Lexapro--had been on highest dose 10 mg. then 5 mg. for a couple of years, went from 5 mg. to 3 mg. liquid and then CT in hospital(voluntary).  I got out of the hospital on a combination of low dose adderal salts x1/day and trileptal 150mg. x2/day.

5/28/2015-off Adderal salts 2.5mg. (I had been on that since hospital 10/2014)

12/2015---just holding, holding, holding, with trileptal/oxcarb at 75 mg. 1/2 tab at hs.  My last psycho med ever!

 

3/21/2016---I did some unwise updosing of trileptal/oxcarbazepine with some stressful stuff......doubled the above dose x2 during this last wave but began liquifying again and on approximately 68mg. starting today.  11/12//2016 24 mg. oxcarbazepine  12/9/2016 off oxcarbazepine/trileptal!!!! :) optimistic  2016 December 9- completely off all medications!!!!!

Omega3's,EPA +DHA= 1800 mg/day. Magnesium complex, orally, diluted in a liter of H2O(that I can shake up.....it usually dissolves more completely as the water gets down to room temperature) and/or Epsom salt baths prn.   Vit. C, D3, and E.  B12, melatonin tapered to 1mg., and bioidentical hormones sublingually.  Trace mineral drops.  L-lysine.  L-methylfolate=400 mcg plus daily spinach. Totally ready for a good long window to hit soon and getting better strings of full days and partial days along the way.  Definite improvement overall since I first arrived on the SA survivor ship.  Herb and alcohol free since 5/15/2016.  None of my posts are intended as medical advice.  Please discuss any decisions about your medical care with a knowledgeable medical provider. manymoretodays

 

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manymoretodays

Oh....and thankyou for the laugh Littlegrandma.  It was the "Oy Vey".  Kind of heartwarming laugh.  It is hard....and best I can do often is transform anger and hate to positive action.  Sometimes....I just have to lighten up and think of others with worse predicaments.....sounds trite if you are in the thick of it.  Anyway....I enjoy your posts too.....such a dedicated supporter you are.  Thanks.  mmt


Started with psycho meds circa 1988 I think 27 or 28 total.

AD's, antpsychotics, antiseizure mood stabilizers. Lithium, lamictal ,benzos, and stimulants. Some med. for narcolepsy once(Provigil,) Gabapentin........probably more.  Ask me?......I probably was on it.  Haphazard W/D's by Dr. recommend or uneducated self.

10/2014- off Lexapro--had been on highest dose 10 mg. then 5 mg. for a couple of years, went from 5 mg. to 3 mg. liquid and then CT in hospital(voluntary).  I got out of the hospital on a combination of low dose adderal salts x1/day and trileptal 150mg. x2/day.

5/28/2015-off Adderal salts 2.5mg. (I had been on that since hospital 10/2014)

12/2015---just holding, holding, holding, with trileptal/oxcarb at 75 mg. 1/2 tab at hs.  My last psycho med ever!

 

3/21/2016---I did some unwise updosing of trileptal/oxcarbazepine with some stressful stuff......doubled the above dose x2 during this last wave but began liquifying again and on approximately 68mg. starting today.  11/12//2016 24 mg. oxcarbazepine  12/9/2016 off oxcarbazepine/trileptal!!!! :) optimistic  2016 December 9- completely off all medications!!!!!

Omega3's,EPA +DHA= 1800 mg/day. Magnesium complex, orally, diluted in a liter of H2O(that I can shake up.....it usually dissolves more completely as the water gets down to room temperature) and/or Epsom salt baths prn.   Vit. C, D3, and E.  B12, melatonin tapered to 1mg., and bioidentical hormones sublingually.  Trace mineral drops.  L-lysine.  L-methylfolate=400 mcg plus daily spinach. Totally ready for a good long window to hit soon and getting better strings of full days and partial days along the way.  Definite improvement overall since I first arrived on the SA survivor ship.  Herb and alcohol free since 5/15/2016.  None of my posts are intended as medical advice.  Please discuss any decisions about your medical care with a knowledgeable medical provider. manymoretodays

 

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Littlegrandma

🙃 well, thank you mmt. 


Lex  4.3mg,  3/2/18  Ativan ,5 mg,  lunesta 2 mg , toprol  25 mg                                                            

 

Oct 16-28 2018 C/O to 19 mg V from 1.5 mg Ativan, 1.3 mg lunesta 

jan 22 2019- 11 mg V

jan 23 - pneumonia, 2 AB’s. 

    Hold taper

july 5- 10.72 V

July 6- 11 mg V- ugly bad

july 11- 10.72 mg V, 4.3 lex, 

              25 mg toprol

 

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Thelongestroadhome
12 hours ago, manymoretodays said:

Hi Longestroadhome,

 

Nice to meet you.  I've enjoyed some of your other posts.

 

It looks really alot like what I experienced with AD withdrawal too.  As far as the article.  Thanks for sharing.  Were you on benzo's at one time?  I'm not seeing it in your signature.   Lexapro alone though.......can be tough.  I'm glad you are tapering more cautiously now.  Many don't have real severe symptoms.......and hoping you don't either.  When you stabilize a bit.    I do need to read through some more of your introd/journal.

 

Anyway to make you feel better, I hope.............. I've got to say most of those symptoms that I experienced were intermittent, not ever constant.......as far as the ones listed goes.  What made it all more difficult were the neuroemotions around it all.  Once I could somehow shift......well, that really helped.  I recently had some tinnitus and then it was gone again.  Once in awhile a foot or hand "falls asleep" so I shake it about is all........I often get up from sitting every hour or so as that seems to help.......I'm not very sedentary except when I sleep I guess you could say.  Oh, I never get the "pins and needles" either.  Only mild and early on for me with the motor........a bit shaky was all.

 

And yes, Stevie Nicks.  I think she is back on the stage now.

 

Love, peace, healing/inrecovery, and growth,

manymoretodays

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Hi Manymoretodays, lovely to have you visit me here! Yes, I need to change my signature because when I first filled it out I forgot that I was a benzo. It was ten years ago and I withdrew from it quite quickly. It was Ativan from memory, or sometimes known as lorazepam. I did feel a lot better once I came off lorazepam. The stupid bloo....dy doctor had me take it whilst breastfeeding. I can't even bear to think about that now which is why I probably blocked it from my memory. 

 

I love Stevie Nicks, she is my favourite singer of all time. I love her style. 

 

I put the list here for benzo withdrawal because from what I have read it can have long term withdrawal symptoms. Years in some cases. I was very lucky that I came off it so quickly. I could easily have stayed on it for much longer if I had not done my own research.


Current...Drug free since September 2018

December 2007 30mg Lexapro and a benzodiazepine December 2008 25mg, December 2009 20mg, December 2010 15mg Lexapro, December 2011 10mg Lexapro. Long hold as I felt happy with the dose and saw no need at the time to reduce further. September 2015 dropped to 5mg. Terrible anxiety started two months later. June 2016 dropped to 3mg and terrible obsessive thoughts and anxiety so ten days later I reinstated back to 5mg. October 2016 dropped to 4mg. April 2017 dropped to 3mg. September 2017 dropped to 2mg. Terrible obsessive thoughts. Anxiety through the roof. OCD.  September 2018 quit cold turkey 2mg Lexapro. March 2019 feeling better than I have in years. 

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Kristine

Hey there LRH,  Just dropping by your thread to see how you are going..and to thank you for all your support and words of wisdom on my thead :wub:  Dare I ask..how are you? I'm hoping no news is good news! Love K xo 🌷🌻🌷🌻


  • Citalopram 20mg - 40mg ~ approx 2010 - October 2015 (stopped over one week)
  • Parnate  20mg - 50mg and olazapine 5mg ~ Jan 2016 - May 2016 (ceased over 2 days) 
  • Lithium 450mg-900 mg and Thyroxin ~May 2016 - May 2017
  • Diazepam various doses (including PRN) ~ 2015 - 2017
  • Oxazepam various doses (including PRN) ~ May 2016 - June 2016
  • Lurasidone 20mg ~Mid May 2016 - Mid June 2016
  • Vortioxetine 10mg - 20mg ~ 6th June 2016 - 20th July 2016 (abruptly ceased)
  • Amitriptyline 200mg ~July 2016 - September 2016 (ceased over 1 week)
  • Nortriptyline  (dose ?) ~October 2016 ~ November 2016 (abruptly ceased)
  • Seroquel XR 100mg - 300mg ~ May 2016 - August 2017 (ceased over 3 weeks)
  • Escitalopram 10mg - 30mg ~ August 2016 - March 2017 (ceased over 2 weeks)
  • Bupropion 300mg ~ December 2016 - May 2017 (ceased over 1 week)
  • Clonazepam 1.5mg daily ~ July 2016 (started tapering May 2017 - September 2017 currently on 0.375mg..ie 0.125mg TDS) 27th May 2018 5% 0.357mg (possible paradoxical reaction - see benzo thread)  28th June 5% 0.337mg, 28th July 10% 0.303mg, 12th September10% 0.272mg, 18th September reinstated 10% due to intolerable WD 0.303mg, 1st October-11th Oct 10% (1% reduction over 10 days) 0.272mg, 22nd October clonazepam ceased crossed over 10mg diazepam
  •  Dexamphatamine 20mg ~ December 2016 (started tapering October 2017 - tapered 1.25mg 4th Dec 2017, 1.25mg 19th Dec 2017 6.25mg, Speed up decrease due to major interaction between Dex and fluoxetine- ref to thread 10% 17th Feb 2018 5.63mg, 10% 21st Feb 2018 5.1mg, 10% 26th Feb 2018 4.5mg 10% 28th Feb 4.1mg, 10% 1st March 3.7mg, 10% 5th March 3.3mg, 10% 8th March 3mg, 10% 10th March 2.7mg, 10% 12th March 2.4mg, 10% 14th March 2.16mg, 10% 16th March 1.94mg, 10% 18th March 1.74mg, 10% 20th March 1.57mg, 10% 21st March 1.41mg, 10% 22nd March 1.26mg, 10% 23rd March 1.13mg, 10% 24th March 1.01mg, 10% 25th March 0.9mg, 10% 27th March 0.81mg, 10% 29th March 0.73mg, 10% 31st March 0.66mg, 10% 2nd April 0.59mg , 10% 4th April 0.53mg, 10% 6th April 0.47mg, 10% 8th April 0.42mg, 10%10th April 0.37mg, 11th April 0.2mg, 12th April 0.1mg (last dose) OFF! 
  • Fluoxetine 40mg ~December 2016 -.31 Jan 2018 reduced to 20mg (probable serotonin toxicity) 10th March 2020 10mg, 7th April 9mg, 1st May 8.5mg, 15th May 8.0mg, 27th May 7.5mg, 8th Sept 7.2mg, 2nd Oct 7mg, 19th Oct 6.8mg, 28th Oct 6.6mg 
  • Diazepam 10mg ~ 22nd Oct 2018, 10th November 8mg, 14th Nov 7mg, 8th December 6mg, 30th December 5mg (Nocte), 7th March 2019 4.5mg,14th March 4mg, 5th April 3.5mg, 9th April 3mg, 18th April 2.5mg,1st May 2mg, 17th May 1.75mg, 25th May 1.6mg, 4th June 1.59mg, 5th June 1.58mg, 6th June 1.57mg, 7th June 1.56mg, 8th June 1.55mg, 22nd June 1.4mg, 4th July 1.2mg, 16th July 1mg, 30th July 0.8mg, 13th Aug 0.6mg, 28th Aug 0.4mg, 10th Sept 0.2mg, 23rd Sept Off! 
  • SR Circadin 2mg (melatonin) 25th May - 20th June 
  • Zolpidem 10mg 25th May (7 tablets)
  • Supplements: Magnesium glycinate (soluble - sip throughout the day) 

 

"Whenever you feel yourself doubting how far you can go,  just remember how far you have come.  Remember everything you have faced, all the battles you have won, and all the fears you have overcome"    Unknown 

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Thelongestroadhome
4 hours ago, Kristine said:

Hey there LRH,  Just dropping by your thread to see how you are going..and to thank you for all your support and words of wisdom on my thead :wub:  Dare I ask..how are you? I'm hoping no news is good news! Love K xo 🌷🌻🌷🌻

Hi K 😘

 

I am doing ok. I have my head buried in articles right now! The things you wrote about the liver pathway got me thinking and so I ran  down that rabbit hole! Also some very interesting studies on prolonged withdrawal symptoms from alcohol and benzodiazepines. The two have a few things in common. I do wonder if for some people the antidepressants mask the withdrawal from both. The lower the dose the more obvious the symptoms become. As a recovering alcoholic (only 15 months sober ) these things interest me! Call me strange 🤪


Current...Drug free since September 2018

December 2007 30mg Lexapro and a benzodiazepine December 2008 25mg, December 2009 20mg, December 2010 15mg Lexapro, December 2011 10mg Lexapro. Long hold as I felt happy with the dose and saw no need at the time to reduce further. September 2015 dropped to 5mg. Terrible anxiety started two months later. June 2016 dropped to 3mg and terrible obsessive thoughts and anxiety so ten days later I reinstated back to 5mg. October 2016 dropped to 4mg. April 2017 dropped to 3mg. September 2017 dropped to 2mg. Terrible obsessive thoughts. Anxiety through the roof. OCD.  September 2018 quit cold turkey 2mg Lexapro. March 2019 feeling better than I have in years. 

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Kristine
11 hours ago, Longestroadhome said:

I am doing ok. I have my head buried in articles right now! The things you wrote about the liver pathway got me thinking and so I ran  down that rabbit hole! Also some very interesting studies on prolonged withdrawal symptoms from alcohol and benzodiazepines. The two have a few things in common. I do wonder if for some people the antidepressants mask the withdrawal from both. The lower the dose the more obvious the symptoms become. As a recovering alcoholic (only 15 months sober ) these things interest me! Call me strange

Hey LRH,  it is all very interesting and you are not strange at all for digging deeper into understanding this process! I'm sure there is a masking of symptoms when psychotropic drugs are added to the mix.  Prolonged withdrawal from alcohol makes just as much sense as prolonged withdrawal from any of these other drugs. I used to drink a lot in my twenties (mainly the bar/live music scene - binge drinking), then dinner parties with lots of wine in my thirties. Then, more recently, a glass of wine with dinner or a G&T...I'm not drinking at all now...so I'm sure all this has also taken a terrible toll on my recovery and mental health. Please post anything that you find fascinating! I'm glad you are doing "ok" I know this means you are not bouncing off the walls with happiness but "ok" is much better than "crap"! Much Love K xo


  • Citalopram 20mg - 40mg ~ approx 2010 - October 2015 (stopped over one week)
  • Parnate  20mg - 50mg and olazapine 5mg ~ Jan 2016 - May 2016 (ceased over 2 days) 
  • Lithium 450mg-900 mg and Thyroxin ~May 2016 - May 2017
  • Diazepam various doses (including PRN) ~ 2015 - 2017
  • Oxazepam various doses (including PRN) ~ May 2016 - June 2016
  • Lurasidone 20mg ~Mid May 2016 - Mid June 2016
  • Vortioxetine 10mg - 20mg ~ 6th June 2016 - 20th July 2016 (abruptly ceased)
  • Amitriptyline 200mg ~July 2016 - September 2016 (ceased over 1 week)
  • Nortriptyline  (dose ?) ~October 2016 ~ November 2016 (abruptly ceased)
  • Seroquel XR 100mg - 300mg ~ May 2016 - August 2017 (ceased over 3 weeks)
  • Escitalopram 10mg - 30mg ~ August 2016 - March 2017 (ceased over 2 weeks)
  • Bupropion 300mg ~ December 2016 - May 2017 (ceased over 1 week)
  • Clonazepam 1.5mg daily ~ July 2016 (started tapering May 2017 - September 2017 currently on 0.375mg..ie 0.125mg TDS) 27th May 2018 5% 0.357mg (possible paradoxical reaction - see benzo thread)  28th June 5% 0.337mg, 28th July 10% 0.303mg, 12th September10% 0.272mg, 18th September reinstated 10% due to intolerable WD 0.303mg, 1st October-11th Oct 10% (1% reduction over 10 days) 0.272mg, 22nd October clonazepam ceased crossed over 10mg diazepam
  •  Dexamphatamine 20mg ~ December 2016 (started tapering October 2017 - tapered 1.25mg 4th Dec 2017, 1.25mg 19th Dec 2017 6.25mg, Speed up decrease due to major interaction between Dex and fluoxetine- ref to thread 10% 17th Feb 2018 5.63mg, 10% 21st Feb 2018 5.1mg, 10% 26th Feb 2018 4.5mg 10% 28th Feb 4.1mg, 10% 1st March 3.7mg, 10% 5th March 3.3mg, 10% 8th March 3mg, 10% 10th March 2.7mg, 10% 12th March 2.4mg, 10% 14th March 2.16mg, 10% 16th March 1.94mg, 10% 18th March 1.74mg, 10% 20th March 1.57mg, 10% 21st March 1.41mg, 10% 22nd March 1.26mg, 10% 23rd March 1.13mg, 10% 24th March 1.01mg, 10% 25th March 0.9mg, 10% 27th March 0.81mg, 10% 29th March 0.73mg, 10% 31st March 0.66mg, 10% 2nd April 0.59mg , 10% 4th April 0.53mg, 10% 6th April 0.47mg, 10% 8th April 0.42mg, 10%10th April 0.37mg, 11th April 0.2mg, 12th April 0.1mg (last dose) OFF! 
  • Fluoxetine 40mg ~December 2016 -.31 Jan 2018 reduced to 20mg (probable serotonin toxicity) 10th March 2020 10mg, 7th April 9mg, 1st May 8.5mg, 15th May 8.0mg, 27th May 7.5mg, 8th Sept 7.2mg, 2nd Oct 7mg, 19th Oct 6.8mg, 28th Oct 6.6mg 
  • Diazepam 10mg ~ 22nd Oct 2018, 10th November 8mg, 14th Nov 7mg, 8th December 6mg, 30th December 5mg (Nocte), 7th March 2019 4.5mg,14th March 4mg, 5th April 3.5mg, 9th April 3mg, 18th April 2.5mg,1st May 2mg, 17th May 1.75mg, 25th May 1.6mg, 4th June 1.59mg, 5th June 1.58mg, 6th June 1.57mg, 7th June 1.56mg, 8th June 1.55mg, 22nd June 1.4mg, 4th July 1.2mg, 16th July 1mg, 30th July 0.8mg, 13th Aug 0.6mg, 28th Aug 0.4mg, 10th Sept 0.2mg, 23rd Sept Off! 
  • SR Circadin 2mg (melatonin) 25th May - 20th June 
  • Zolpidem 10mg 25th May (7 tablets)
  • Supplements: Magnesium glycinate (soluble - sip throughout the day) 

 

"Whenever you feel yourself doubting how far you can go,  just remember how far you have come.  Remember everything you have faced, all the battles you have won, and all the fears you have overcome"    Unknown 

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Thelongestroadhome
On 25/02/2018 at 9:18 AM, Kristine said:

Hey LRH,  it is all very interesting and you are not strange at all for digging deeper into understanding this process! I'm sure there is a masking of symptoms when psychotropic drugs are added to the mix.  Prolonged withdrawal from alcohol makes just as much sense as prolonged withdrawal from any of these other drugs. I used to drink a lot in my twenties (mainly the bar/live music scene - binge drinking), then dinner parties with lots of wine in my thirties. Then, more recently, a glass of wine with dinner or a G&T...I'm not drinking at all now...so I'm sure all this has also taken a terrible toll on my recovery and mental health. Please post anything that you find fascinating! I'm glad you are doing "ok" I know this means you are not bouncing off the walls with happiness but "ok" is much better than "crap"! Much Love K xo

Thank you K. I have tried to stay off the site as much as possible for fear of adding more stress and fear to my sensitive nervous system. 

I am like a sponge, soaking in everyone’s problems as if they were my own. 

This week an online acquaintance lost their three year old son in a tragic accident ( choked on a tiny rubber ball) and it has hit me so hard. I have been consumed with sadness. 

I have always been sensitive but during withdrawal it has been more ramped up than ever. 

Anyway, enough of this sad talk. 


Current...Drug free since September 2018

December 2007 30mg Lexapro and a benzodiazepine December 2008 25mg, December 2009 20mg, December 2010 15mg Lexapro, December 2011 10mg Lexapro. Long hold as I felt happy with the dose and saw no need at the time to reduce further. September 2015 dropped to 5mg. Terrible anxiety started two months later. June 2016 dropped to 3mg and terrible obsessive thoughts and anxiety so ten days later I reinstated back to 5mg. October 2016 dropped to 4mg. April 2017 dropped to 3mg. September 2017 dropped to 2mg. Terrible obsessive thoughts. Anxiety through the roof. OCD.  September 2018 quit cold turkey 2mg Lexapro. March 2019 feeling better than I have in years. 

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Kristine
1 hour ago, Longestroadhome said:

Thank you K. I have tried to stay off the site as much as possible for fear of adding more stress and fear to my sensitive nervous system. 

I am like a sponge, soaking in everyone’s problems as if they were my own. 

This week an online acquaintance lost their three year old son in a tragic accident ( choked on a tiny rubber ball) and it has hit me so hard. I have been consumed with sadness. 

I have always been sensitive but during withdrawal it has been more ramped up than ever. 

Anyway, enough of this sad talk. 

Dearest LRH,  I understand.  I'm so sorry about the little boy :( Like you, I have always been a sensitive person and as you said, this process amplifies these emotions.  Also reading the stories of others on SA can certainly add to stress but can also reduce stress "a burden shared, is a burden halved".  I guess it about finding the right balance. Having said that I don't think I have a balance!!  Personally, my emotions fluctuate daily when on SA.  It depends on the day. Sometimes I feel overwhelmed and then frustrated with my inability to write words of comfort to another member who is suffering...sometimes my anger surfaces because of all the pain inflicted by a greedy and ignorant field of so called medicine...however, the majority of the time I feel comforted that I am not alone and by sharing my story I hope it can bring some comfort to others.  Sending you love and big hugs LRH. K xo


  • Citalopram 20mg - 40mg ~ approx 2010 - October 2015 (stopped over one week)
  • Parnate  20mg - 50mg and olazapine 5mg ~ Jan 2016 - May 2016 (ceased over 2 days) 
  • Lithium 450mg-900 mg and Thyroxin ~May 2016 - May 2017
  • Diazepam various doses (including PRN) ~ 2015 - 2017
  • Oxazepam various doses (including PRN) ~ May 2016 - June 2016
  • Lurasidone 20mg ~Mid May 2016 - Mid June 2016
  • Vortioxetine 10mg - 20mg ~ 6th June 2016 - 20th July 2016 (abruptly ceased)
  • Amitriptyline 200mg ~July 2016 - September 2016 (ceased over 1 week)
  • Nortriptyline  (dose ?) ~October 2016 ~ November 2016 (abruptly ceased)
  • Seroquel XR 100mg - 300mg ~ May 2016 - August 2017 (ceased over 3 weeks)
  • Escitalopram 10mg - 30mg ~ August 2016 - March 2017 (ceased over 2 weeks)
  • Bupropion 300mg ~ December 2016 - May 2017 (ceased over 1 week)
  • Clonazepam 1.5mg daily ~ July 2016 (started tapering May 2017 - September 2017 currently on 0.375mg..ie 0.125mg TDS) 27th May 2018 5% 0.357mg (possible paradoxical reaction - see benzo thread)  28th June 5% 0.337mg, 28th July 10% 0.303mg, 12th September10% 0.272mg, 18th September reinstated 10% due to intolerable WD 0.303mg, 1st October-11th Oct 10% (1% reduction over 10 days) 0.272mg, 22nd October clonazepam ceased crossed over 10mg diazepam
  •  Dexamphatamine 20mg ~ December 2016 (started tapering October 2017 - tapered 1.25mg 4th Dec 2017, 1.25mg 19th Dec 2017 6.25mg, Speed up decrease due to major interaction between Dex and fluoxetine- ref to thread 10% 17th Feb 2018 5.63mg, 10% 21st Feb 2018 5.1mg, 10% 26th Feb 2018 4.5mg 10% 28th Feb 4.1mg, 10% 1st March 3.7mg, 10% 5th March 3.3mg, 10% 8th March 3mg, 10% 10th March 2.7mg, 10% 12th March 2.4mg, 10% 14th March 2.16mg, 10% 16th March 1.94mg, 10% 18th March 1.74mg, 10% 20th March 1.57mg, 10% 21st March 1.41mg, 10% 22nd March 1.26mg, 10% 23rd March 1.13mg, 10% 24th March 1.01mg, 10% 25th March 0.9mg, 10% 27th March 0.81mg, 10% 29th March 0.73mg, 10% 31st March 0.66mg, 10% 2nd April 0.59mg , 10% 4th April 0.53mg, 10% 6th April 0.47mg, 10% 8th April 0.42mg, 10%10th April 0.37mg, 11th April 0.2mg, 12th April 0.1mg (last dose) OFF! 
  • Fluoxetine 40mg ~December 2016 -.31 Jan 2018 reduced to 20mg (probable serotonin toxicity) 10th March 2020 10mg, 7th April 9mg, 1st May 8.5mg, 15th May 8.0mg, 27th May 7.5mg, 8th Sept 7.2mg, 2nd Oct 7mg, 19th Oct 6.8mg, 28th Oct 6.6mg 
  • Diazepam 10mg ~ 22nd Oct 2018, 10th November 8mg, 14th Nov 7mg, 8th December 6mg, 30th December 5mg (Nocte), 7th March 2019 4.5mg,14th March 4mg, 5th April 3.5mg, 9th April 3mg, 18th April 2.5mg,1st May 2mg, 17th May 1.75mg, 25th May 1.6mg, 4th June 1.59mg, 5th June 1.58mg, 6th June 1.57mg, 7th June 1.56mg, 8th June 1.55mg, 22nd June 1.4mg, 4th July 1.2mg, 16th July 1mg, 30th July 0.8mg, 13th Aug 0.6mg, 28th Aug 0.4mg, 10th Sept 0.2mg, 23rd Sept Off! 
  • SR Circadin 2mg (melatonin) 25th May - 20th June 
  • Zolpidem 10mg 25th May (7 tablets)
  • Supplements: Magnesium glycinate (soluble - sip throughout the day) 

 

"Whenever you feel yourself doubting how far you can go,  just remember how far you have come.  Remember everything you have faced, all the battles you have won, and all the fears you have overcome"    Unknown 

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Downbutnotout
On 2/20/2018 at 10:22 AM, Littlegrandma said:

Oy vey

Difficult for me to read it. 

I hate these drugs!!

So, I shouldn’t go back to a psychiatrist? Oy vey? 


 

2001 Remeron , Celexa, prozac a week on lithium. 

2014 went off effexor and trazadone in 3 weeks. 

2014 zoloft (hyper reaction) put on effexor 75 mg. Was stable until 2017 

2017  Trazadone 50 mg (June) Effexor to 113 mg (2 weeks) Effexor 150 mg for a month . Took 75 mg until November. . Lithium 10 days, Lamactil 10 day  aug-nov15 ativan

October : Prozac bridge to get off 75 mg of effexor Used 10 mg of prozac. Stopped prozac 3 wk 

Dec 6, 7 Upped trazadone from 50 to 100 mg Did it for 3 days Stopped it

Dec 7 , Dec 8 Took prozac again 0.1 , 0.1, 0.6 stopped it

Dec 11 and Dec 12 upped it to 100 again

Dec 15 , 16,17 went back to 50 mg of trazadone

December 18 Began 3 beads of effexor  Dec 25 began 5 beads of effexor take 10 mg of omneprazole daily

 

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Thelongestroadhome

I thought that I should update my current situation.

 

It has been five months since dropping from 3mg to 2mg lexapro. The OCD has settled down and I am no longer checking my body for ‘something’ every few minutes. The health anxiety seems as stable as it will get. 

 

There is background anxiety but I seem to be able to push through. I am, however, hyper sensitive to any stress and still feel vulnerable. I feel as though I am walking on a tightrope. 

 

For the the main part I am functioning in daily life. I am up and about and to most people seem ‘normal’  From my perspective I seldom get through an hour without thinking about anxiety and the terrifying thought of it striking me down. I think that is wired in to my thinking and I need to use some neuroplasticity tools to work on that. 

 

My thoughts right now on withdrawal are confusing. I am terrified of putting myself through this again. It has been five months of hell. Part of me wants to stay here forever and give up on the notion of quitting lexapro. The other part wants to get off this poison and start the healing process. 

 

If I could have a wish it would be this. Take all memory of family and friends from my mind. Move me to a tropical island somewhere. Move Eckhart Tolle there with me. Then let the withdrawal begin!


Current...Drug free since September 2018

December 2007 30mg Lexapro and a benzodiazepine December 2008 25mg, December 2009 20mg, December 2010 15mg Lexapro, December 2011 10mg Lexapro. Long hold as I felt happy with the dose and saw no need at the time to reduce further. September 2015 dropped to 5mg. Terrible anxiety started two months later. June 2016 dropped to 3mg and terrible obsessive thoughts and anxiety so ten days later I reinstated back to 5mg. October 2016 dropped to 4mg. April 2017 dropped to 3mg. September 2017 dropped to 2mg. Terrible obsessive thoughts. Anxiety through the roof. OCD.  September 2018 quit cold turkey 2mg Lexapro. March 2019 feeling better than I have in years. 

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ChessieCat
10 minutes ago, Longestroadhome said:

five months since dropping from 3mg to 2mg lexapro.

 

10 minutes ago, Longestroadhome said:

I am terrified of putting myself through this again. It has been five months of hell.

 

You made a 33.3% reduction.  The resulting 5 months indicates that it was too big a drop.

 

You now have the knowledge of how to taper more carefully.  There are various ways you can do this, 10% taper and hold for about 4 weeks, >10% reductions Why taper by 10% of my dosage?, Brass Monkey SlideMicro-taper instead of 10% or 5% decreasesRhi's "Start Small, Listen to Your Body" Taper Plan

 

Some of what you are feeling is known as anticipatory anxiety.  Being scared of what might happen because of your previous experience.

 

I have found that magnesium helps to take the edge off my anxiety.  The only supplements which SA recommends are Magnesium and Omega-3 Fish Oil.  Try a small amount one at a time to see how you react.

 

It is best to make only 1 change at a time.  It is also better not to start taking a complex vitamin because if you experience issues you will not know what exactly is causing it.  B vitamins can be stimulating especially B6.  hypersensitive-to-b-vitamin-or-b-vitamin-complex  If trying anything new, start with a small amount to see how you react and build up to the recommended amount.  

 

Keep it Simple, Slow and Stable


Keep Notes on Paper

 

Edited by ChessieCat

REMINDER TO SELF:

I don't need the drug now, but my still brain does.

ADs:  25 years - 1 unknown, Prozac (caused muscle weakness), Zoloft/sertraline; citalopram (pooped out) CTed (very sick for 2.5 wks a few months after)

Pristiq:  50mg 2012, 100mg beg 2013 (mild Serotonin Toxicity)

Began tapering Oct 2015  Current from 17 Oct 2020:  Pristiq 0.56 mg (compounded + liquid)

My tapering program

My Intro (goes to my tapering graph)

My website - includes my brief history + links to videos & information on the web

PLEASE NOTE:  I am not a medical professional.  I provide information and make suggestions.

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ChessieCat

I got part way through typing my post and hit a key and it posted so there are some additional things which you may not have seen.


REMINDER TO SELF:

I don't need the drug now, but my still brain does.

ADs:  25 years - 1 unknown, Prozac (caused muscle weakness), Zoloft/sertraline; citalopram (pooped out) CTed (very sick for 2.5 wks a few months after)

Pristiq:  50mg 2012, 100mg beg 2013 (mild Serotonin Toxicity)

Began tapering Oct 2015  Current from 17 Oct 2020:  Pristiq 0.56 mg (compounded + liquid)

My tapering program

My Intro (goes to my tapering graph)

My website - includes my brief history + links to videos & information on the web

PLEASE NOTE:  I am not a medical professional.  I provide information and make suggestions.

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Thelongestroadhome
1 minute ago, ChessieCat said:

 

 

You made a 33.3% reduction.  The resulting 5 months indicates that it was too big a drop.

 

You know have the knowledge of how to taper more carefully.  There are various ways you can do this, 10% taper and hold for about 4 weeks, >10% reductions, BrassMonkey Slide, 

 

My biggest issue is the liquid. It is 1ml for 20mg lexapro. I take .1 to get 2mg. It is so tiny I can barely see anything in the syringe. My eye sight is poor and I struggle to see the tiny reduction lines. It is possible but I wish there was an easier way to reduce the liquid. A year ago I was able to purchase a 1ml to 10mg bottle but they stopped selling it in Australia. They don’t make it easy. 


Current...Drug free since September 2018

December 2007 30mg Lexapro and a benzodiazepine December 2008 25mg, December 2009 20mg, December 2010 15mg Lexapro, December 2011 10mg Lexapro. Long hold as I felt happy with the dose and saw no need at the time to reduce further. September 2015 dropped to 5mg. Terrible anxiety started two months later. June 2016 dropped to 3mg and terrible obsessive thoughts and anxiety so ten days later I reinstated back to 5mg. October 2016 dropped to 4mg. April 2017 dropped to 3mg. September 2017 dropped to 2mg. Terrible obsessive thoughts. Anxiety through the roof. OCD.  September 2018 quit cold turkey 2mg Lexapro. March 2019 feeling better than I have in years. 

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ChessieCat

You need to dilute the liquid.

 

Please check my calculations.

 

You are currently taking 0.1mL =  2mg

 

1mL (20mg) drug into 10mL of water

 

10mL solution = 20mg drug      

 

Extract and take 1mL of solution = 2mg drug   (divide both sides by 10)

 

OR

 

1mL (20mg) drug into 100mL of water

 

100mL solution = 20mg drug

 

Extract and take 10mL of solution = 2mg drug (divide both sides by 10)

 

 

10% reduction (I will work it out using 100mL)

 

2mg x 0.9 = 1.8mg

 

100mL solution = 20mg drug

 

10mL solution = 2mg drug   (divide both sides by 10)

 

1mL solution = 0.2mg drug   (divide both sides by 10)

 

9mL solution = 1.8mg drug   (multiply both sides by 9)

 

Extract and take 9mL solution

 

 

Next reduction

 

1.8mg x 0.9 = 1.62mg

 

100mL solution = 20mg drug

 

10mL solution = 2mg drug   (divide both sides by 10)

 

1mL solution = 0.2mg drug   (divide both sides by 10)

 

8.1mL solution = 1.62mg drug   (multiply both sides by 8.1)

 

Extract and take 8.1mL solution

 

Edited by ChessieCat

REMINDER TO SELF:

I don't need the drug now, but my still brain does.

ADs:  25 years - 1 unknown, Prozac (caused muscle weakness), Zoloft/sertraline; citalopram (pooped out) CTed (very sick for 2.5 wks a few months after)

Pristiq:  50mg 2012, 100mg beg 2013 (mild Serotonin Toxicity)

Began tapering Oct 2015  Current from 17 Oct 2020:  Pristiq 0.56 mg (compounded + liquid)

My tapering program

My Intro (goes to my tapering graph)

My website - includes my brief history + links to videos & information on the web

PLEASE NOTE:  I am not a medical professional.  I provide information and make suggestions.

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ChessieCat

Okay, I've redone my calculations.  Please see above post.


REMINDER TO SELF:

I don't need the drug now, but my still brain does.

ADs:  25 years - 1 unknown, Prozac (caused muscle weakness), Zoloft/sertraline; citalopram (pooped out) CTed (very sick for 2.5 wks a few months after)

Pristiq:  50mg 2012, 100mg beg 2013 (mild Serotonin Toxicity)

Began tapering Oct 2015  Current from 17 Oct 2020:  Pristiq 0.56 mg (compounded + liquid)

My tapering program

My Intro (goes to my tapering graph)

My website - includes my brief history + links to videos & information on the web

PLEASE NOTE:  I am not a medical professional.  I provide information and make suggestions.

Share this post


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Thelongestroadhome
21 hours ago, ChessieCat said:

Okay, I've redone my calculations.  Please see above post.

Thank you so much, I really appreciate that ❤️


Current...Drug free since September 2018

December 2007 30mg Lexapro and a benzodiazepine December 2008 25mg, December 2009 20mg, December 2010 15mg Lexapro, December 2011 10mg Lexapro. Long hold as I felt happy with the dose and saw no need at the time to reduce further. September 2015 dropped to 5mg. Terrible anxiety started two months later. June 2016 dropped to 3mg and terrible obsessive thoughts and anxiety so ten days later I reinstated back to 5mg. October 2016 dropped to 4mg. April 2017 dropped to 3mg. September 2017 dropped to 2mg. Terrible obsessive thoughts. Anxiety through the roof. OCD.  September 2018 quit cold turkey 2mg Lexapro. March 2019 feeling better than I have in years. 

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Kristine

Big hugs my friend :wub:

23 hours ago, Longestroadhome said:

If I could have a wish it would be this. Take all memory of family and friends from my mind. Move me to a tropical island somewhere. Move Eckhart Tolle there with me. Then let the withdrawal begin!

Ooohhhh, can I tag along! I promise to be quiet! Xo


  • Citalopram 20mg - 40mg ~ approx 2010 - October 2015 (stopped over one week)
  • Parnate  20mg - 50mg and olazapine 5mg ~ Jan 2016 - May 2016 (ceased over 2 days) 
  • Lithium 450mg-900 mg and Thyroxin ~May 2016 - May 2017
  • Diazepam various doses (including PRN) ~ 2015 - 2017
  • Oxazepam various doses (including PRN) ~ May 2016 - June 2016
  • Lurasidone 20mg ~Mid May 2016 - Mid June 2016
  • Vortioxetine 10mg - 20mg ~ 6th June 2016 - 20th July 2016 (abruptly ceased)
  • Amitriptyline 200mg ~July 2016 - September 2016 (ceased over 1 week)
  • Nortriptyline  (dose ?) ~October 2016 ~ November 2016 (abruptly ceased)
  • Seroquel XR 100mg - 300mg ~ May 2016 - August 2017 (ceased over 3 weeks)
  • Escitalopram 10mg - 30mg ~ August 2016 - March 2017 (ceased over 2 weeks)
  • Bupropion 300mg ~ December 2016 - May 2017 (ceased over 1 week)
  • Clonazepam 1.5mg daily ~ July 2016 (started tapering May 2017 - September 2017 currently on 0.375mg..ie 0.125mg TDS) 27th May 2018 5% 0.357mg (possible paradoxical reaction - see benzo thread)  28th June 5% 0.337mg, 28th July 10% 0.303mg, 12th September10% 0.272mg, 18th September reinstated 10% due to intolerable WD 0.303mg, 1st October-11th Oct 10% (1% reduction over 10 days) 0.272mg, 22nd October clonazepam ceased crossed over 10mg diazepam
  •  Dexamphatamine 20mg ~ December 2016 (started tapering October 2017 - tapered 1.25mg 4th Dec 2017, 1.25mg 19th Dec 2017 6.25mg, Speed up decrease due to major interaction between Dex and fluoxetine- ref to thread 10% 17th Feb 2018 5.63mg, 10% 21st Feb 2018 5.1mg, 10% 26th Feb 2018 4.5mg 10% 28th Feb 4.1mg, 10% 1st March 3.7mg, 10% 5th March 3.3mg, 10% 8th March 3mg, 10% 10th March 2.7mg, 10% 12th March 2.4mg, 10% 14th March 2.16mg, 10% 16th March 1.94mg, 10% 18th March 1.74mg, 10% 20th March 1.57mg, 10% 21st March 1.41mg, 10% 22nd March 1.26mg, 10% 23rd March 1.13mg, 10% 24th March 1.01mg, 10% 25th March 0.9mg, 10% 27th March 0.81mg, 10% 29th March 0.73mg, 10% 31st March 0.66mg, 10% 2nd April 0.59mg , 10% 4th April 0.53mg, 10% 6th April 0.47mg, 10% 8th April 0.42mg, 10%10th April 0.37mg, 11th April 0.2mg, 12th April 0.1mg (last dose) OFF! 
  • Fluoxetine 40mg ~December 2016 -.31 Jan 2018 reduced to 20mg (probable serotonin toxicity) 10th March 2020 10mg, 7th April 9mg, 1st May 8.5mg, 15th May 8.0mg, 27th May 7.5mg, 8th Sept 7.2mg, 2nd Oct 7mg, 19th Oct 6.8mg, 28th Oct 6.6mg 
  • Diazepam 10mg ~ 22nd Oct 2018, 10th November 8mg, 14th Nov 7mg, 8th December 6mg, 30th December 5mg (Nocte), 7th March 2019 4.5mg,14th March 4mg, 5th April 3.5mg, 9th April 3mg, 18th April 2.5mg,1st May 2mg, 17th May 1.75mg, 25th May 1.6mg, 4th June 1.59mg, 5th June 1.58mg, 6th June 1.57mg, 7th June 1.56mg, 8th June 1.55mg, 22nd June 1.4mg, 4th July 1.2mg, 16th July 1mg, 30th July 0.8mg, 13th Aug 0.6mg, 28th Aug 0.4mg, 10th Sept 0.2mg, 23rd Sept Off! 
  • SR Circadin 2mg (melatonin) 25th May - 20th June 
  • Zolpidem 10mg 25th May (7 tablets)
  • Supplements: Magnesium glycinate (soluble - sip throughout the day) 

 

"Whenever you feel yourself doubting how far you can go,  just remember how far you have come.  Remember everything you have faced, all the battles you have won, and all the fears you have overcome"    Unknown 

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Thelongestroadhome
11 hours ago, Kristine said:

Big hugs my friend :wub:

Ooohhhh, can I tag along! I promise to be quiet! Xo

👍😘


Current...Drug free since September 2018

December 2007 30mg Lexapro and a benzodiazepine December 2008 25mg, December 2009 20mg, December 2010 15mg Lexapro, December 2011 10mg Lexapro. Long hold as I felt happy with the dose and saw no need at the time to reduce further. September 2015 dropped to 5mg. Terrible anxiety started two months later. June 2016 dropped to 3mg and terrible obsessive thoughts and anxiety so ten days later I reinstated back to 5mg. October 2016 dropped to 4mg. April 2017 dropped to 3mg. September 2017 dropped to 2mg. Terrible obsessive thoughts. Anxiety through the roof. OCD.  September 2018 quit cold turkey 2mg Lexapro. March 2019 feeling better than I have in years. 

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Happy2Heal

I posted this on my thread and elsewhere but thought I'd share it here in case it helps

 

it's something I personally have needed to remind myself of many times!

 

I have a fortune from one of those Chinese fortune cookies that I keep on my fridge

it says

 

You are what you think.

 

 

this turns out to be SO true.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

 

what we think and what we believe has a HUGE impact on how we feel and quite literally on what we see.

If we are expecting bad things, we will be on the lookout of them

If we are expecting good things, we will be looking for those as well.

 

this is NOT looking at the world thru rose colored glasses, this will not turn something sad into something happy, but it will change your overall attitude towards things in a major way.

 

so that when something sad does come your way, you'll more quickly rebound and look for what helped you to get thru the sadness, rather than just replaying all the things that made you sad.

 

we have so much more power over our lives, our moods, our attitudes and our outlook than I ever realized before.

 

WD/recovery is hard, but we can make it easier on ourselves by changing how we look at it.

 

ok now I'm just sounding preachy, sorry! 

writing this helps to reinforce this lesson for myself, so part of my reason for posting is entirely selfish

 

please excuse me if this is all old news to you!! ;)

 

 

 


  • pysch med history: 1974 @ age 18 to Oct 2017 (approx 43 yrs total)
  •  Drug list: stelazine, haldol, elavil, lithium, zoloft, celexa, lexapro(doses as high as 40mgs), klonopin, ambien, seroquel(high doses), depakote, zyprexa, lamictalBrief trials of dozens of other psych meds over the years
  • started lexapro 2002, dose varied from 20mgs to 40mgs. I tried to get off it several times. WD symptoms were mistaken for "relapse". 
  •  2013 tapered down to 5mg but WD forced me back to 20mgs
  •  June of 2105, tapered again, too rapidly to 2.5mgs by Dec 2015. Found SA, held at 2.5 mgs til May 2016 when I foolishly "jumped off". Crashed in Sept, reinstated at 0.3mgs in Oct. 2106
  • Tapered off to zero by  Oct. 2017 Doing very well
  • Nov. 2018 feel 95% healed, current age 63 
  • Jan. 2020 feel 100% healed, peaceful and content 
 

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