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☼ Thelongestroadhome: long road back with Lexapro


Thelongestroadhome

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Thelongestroadhome
4 hours ago, davidcpp said:

Hi LRH! :)

 

Regarding stability of Lexapro what you've written and experienced is consistent with what brassmonkey wrote about month ago in my topic:

Your experience confirms that potency of the drug is starting to decrease after 16 weeks. For you 16 weeks = 112 doses x 2mg = 224mg. Are you sure the bottle is 20ml, not 15ml? I have 15ml bottle and it seems that in the most of countries there is such bottle and it is standard. It is a website for lexapro for Australia: https://www.nps.org.au/medical-info/medicine-finder/lexapro-oral-solution.

 

With 15ml it is 300mg of the drug in bottle and it would match more to losing potency after 16 weeks or little more than with 20ml bottle. Maybe you weren't starting to feel negative results after smaller potency losses after about 16 weeks or it resulted from latency in registering dosage changes by your body.

 

Do I understand correctly that you draw with a syringe directly from bottle measured amount of liquid? I think that better idea is to measure the drug by drops (1 mg/1 drop according to my leaflet) and dissolve drops in water. With dosages that aren't multiple of 1mg only need to draw proportional amount of liquid from our water solution.

 

Example for 1.8mg: 2 drops (2mg) to 100ml of water and draw 90ml of this solution to receive 1.8mg.

 

I understand, you meant 1ml is equivalent to 20mg (in 1ml there is 20mg)? What you've written would mean that whole bottle would have 1mg of the drug ;)

 

Sending hugs, Davidcpp ;) 

Ha ha 😜🤪 yes, it is 15ml bottle. Trouble with me is that my mouth talks before my brain can catch up!! And thank God I didn’t get the job as a pharmacist or God help you all 😜

 

I found the drops too hard to manage. They plopped out when I wasn’t looking. Wasn’t sure whether I’d taken 2mg or 20mg 😂 so I used the syringe attachment that I got from the old 10ml bottle ( they don’t sell that one now)

 

The tight arse in me resents buying a new bottle more often but at what cost? Increased WD symptoms?

Current...Drug free since September 2018

December 2007 30mg Lexapro and a benzodiazepine December 2008 25mg, December 2009 20mg, December 2010 15mg Lexapro, December 2011 10mg Lexapro. Long hold as I felt happy with the dose and saw no need at the time to reduce further. September 2015 dropped to 5mg. Terrible anxiety started two months later. June 2016 dropped to 3mg and terrible obsessive thoughts and anxiety so ten days later I reinstated back to 5mg. October 2016 dropped to 4mg. April 2017 dropped to 3mg. September 2017 dropped to 2mg. Terrible obsessive thoughts. Anxiety through the roof. OCD.  September 2018 quit cold turkey 2mg Lexapro. March 2019 feeling better than I have in years. 

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I have had two weeks of normality. No anxiety, no depression, no insomnia. It has been lovely. I am back to my base line now, just background anxiety and a tendency to fall in to a low mood if Not car

Wow, it is December already! A whole year has passed without lexapro in my body. I made it. 2019 was a good year for me.    I am feeling well. There have been a few waves but the windows are mo

https://www.audible.com.au/pd/Living-Without-Stress-or-Fear-Audiobook/B00FGA60D0   The link to the Audible version of the book... for @jozeff

Hi LRH,

 

I hope you are feeling better maybe at least a bit?  You figured out the issue with the last of the bottle.  That's good.  I saw someone else who had an expired bottle giving her trouble.  A new bottle fixed everything.

 

If you want to notify someone that you are replying to her type @ and then her name such as @longestroadhome.  While you are typing the name a list of members' names will appear under where you are typing.  When you see the person's name, click on it.  When I type your name, your name appears as number 3 after I type the "g."  This way you can notify two or more people without quoting anyone.  This is what it looks like in the post @Longestroadhome

 

Have a good day. - Rosetta

 

https://www.survivingantidepressants.org/topic/16629-rosetta-ct-may-2011-too-fast-taper-feb-2017/?page=25

2001-2011 Celexa 10 mg raised to 40 mg then 60 mg over this time period

May 2011 OB Doctor's Cold switch Celexa 60 mg to 10 mg Zoloft sertraline (baby born)

2012-2016 - Doctors raised dose of Zoloft up to 150 mg

2016 - Xanax prescribed - as needed - 0.5 mg about every 3 days (bad reaction)

2016 - Stopped Xanax

Late 2016- Began (too fast) taper of Zoloft

Early 2017 - Trazodone prescribed for bedtime (doseage unknown)

Feb 2017 - Completed taper/stopped Trazodone

Drug free since Feb 2017

2017 - Unisom otc very rarely for sleep

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Delete (A post I thought didn't work did work!)

https://www.survivingantidepressants.org/topic/16629-rosetta-ct-may-2011-too-fast-taper-feb-2017/?page=25

2001-2011 Celexa 10 mg raised to 40 mg then 60 mg over this time period

May 2011 OB Doctor's Cold switch Celexa 60 mg to 10 mg Zoloft sertraline (baby born)

2012-2016 - Doctors raised dose of Zoloft up to 150 mg

2016 - Xanax prescribed - as needed - 0.5 mg about every 3 days (bad reaction)

2016 - Stopped Xanax

Late 2016- Began (too fast) taper of Zoloft

Early 2017 - Trazodone prescribed for bedtime (doseage unknown)

Feb 2017 - Completed taper/stopped Trazodone

Drug free since Feb 2017

2017 - Unisom otc very rarely for sleep

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MiguelFreeman
14 hours ago, Longestroadhome said:

Ha ha 😜🤪 yes, it is 15ml bottle. Trouble with me is that my mouth talks before my brain can catch up!! And thank God I didn’t get the job as a pharmacist or God help you all 😜

 

I found the drops too hard to manage. They plopped out when I wasn’t looking. Wasn’t sure whether I’d taken 2mg or 20mg 😂 so I used the syringe attachment that I got from the old 10ml bottle ( they don’t sell that one now)

 

The tight arse in me resents buying a new bottle more often but at what cost? Increased WD symptoms?

hope you doing ok 

God bless you 

and stay strong 

 

  1. Zoloft(Generic)100 mg From 06/06/2016 to 02/10/2016                         
  2. Lexapro(Generic) 20 MG From 03/10/2016 to 05/2017                               Supplements: Omega3 
  3. Lexapro (Generic) CT 05/2017 
  4. 6/08/17- reinstated 10mg Lexapro(Generic)(50%of original doses )
  5. 02/11/2017- 9 mg Lexapro(Generic) (10 % rule) (Homemade)
  6. 04/12/2017- 8.75mg Lexapro(Generic)(BrassMonkey slide)
  7. 19/12/2017- 8.5mg Lexapro(Generic)
  8. 06/02/2018- 8.35mg Lexapro (Generic)
  9. 16/2/2018- 8.22mg Lexapro(Generic)
  10. 25/2/2018- 8.09mg Lexapro (Generic)-05/03/2018- 7.9mg Lexapro (Generic)-28/03/2018-7.75mg Lexapro (Generic)-04/04/2018-7.66mg Lexapro (Generic)18/05/2018-7.64mg Lexapro (brand Liquid)
  11. 28/6/2018 7.50mg lexapro (Brand Liquid ) 15/7/2018 7.40 mg Lexapro(brand liquid) 7.30 mg Lexapro(Liquid) 27-07-2018
  12. Forgot to update this but i contiuned to taper down until 21/12/2019 and final dose was 1.3 mg  Time since Stoping  10 months, 4 days 
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  • 2 weeks later...
Thelongestroadhome

I have had two weeks of normality. No anxiety, no depression, no insomnia. It has been lovely. I am back to my base line now, just background anxiety and a tendency to fall in to a low mood if Not careful. 

 

I guess it is is time to make a small drop in dose. From 2mg to 1.8mg starting tomorrow. Not overly excited at the prospect but it has to be done. I have been sitting on 2mg for a fair few months now and am probably as stable as I will get. 

 

I am better than Carrie is on Homeland. Poor girl has been in Russian captivity for seven months and was forced in to a cold turkey withdrawal from her meds. She is in serious withdrawal but for some reason when I rang the TV station to tell her about this forum for support they hung up on me........ 🤪🤪🤪😜😜😜

Current...Drug free since September 2018

December 2007 30mg Lexapro and a benzodiazepine December 2008 25mg, December 2009 20mg, December 2010 15mg Lexapro, December 2011 10mg Lexapro. Long hold as I felt happy with the dose and saw no need at the time to reduce further. September 2015 dropped to 5mg. Terrible anxiety started two months later. June 2016 dropped to 3mg and terrible obsessive thoughts and anxiety so ten days later I reinstated back to 5mg. October 2016 dropped to 4mg. April 2017 dropped to 3mg. September 2017 dropped to 2mg. Terrible obsessive thoughts. Anxiety through the roof. OCD.  September 2018 quit cold turkey 2mg Lexapro. March 2019 feeling better than I have in years. 

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Littlegrandma

@Longestroadhome

 

hahahaha

 

so awesome youve had a couple weeks of feeling good!! I hope you’re next cut goes well. At least you know you will eventually stabilize if there’s any blips, but I hope not. xx lg

 

 

Lex  4.3mg,  3/2/18  Ativan ,5 mg,  lunesta 2 mg , toprol  25 mg                                                            

 

Oct 16-28 2018 C/O to 19 mg V from 1.5 mg Ativan, 1.3 mg lunesta 

jan 22 2019- 11 mg V

jan 23 - pneumonia, 2 AB’s. 

    Hold taper

july 5- 10.72 V

July 6- 11 mg V- ugly bad

july 11- 10.72 mg V, 4.3 lex, 

              25 mg toprol

 

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I'm happy for you, LRH.  That wonderful that you've had a nice break.  - Rosetta

https://www.survivingantidepressants.org/topic/16629-rosetta-ct-may-2011-too-fast-taper-feb-2017/?page=25

2001-2011 Celexa 10 mg raised to 40 mg then 60 mg over this time period

May 2011 OB Doctor's Cold switch Celexa 60 mg to 10 mg Zoloft sertraline (baby born)

2012-2016 - Doctors raised dose of Zoloft up to 150 mg

2016 - Xanax prescribed - as needed - 0.5 mg about every 3 days (bad reaction)

2016 - Stopped Xanax

Late 2016- Began (too fast) taper of Zoloft

Early 2017 - Trazodone prescribed for bedtime (doseage unknown)

Feb 2017 - Completed taper/stopped Trazodone

Drug free since Feb 2017

2017 - Unisom otc very rarely for sleep

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  • 1 month later...
On 5/7/2018 at 5:48 AM, Longestroadhome said:

I have had two weeks of normality. No anxiety, no depression, no insomnia. It has been lovely. I am back to my base line now, just background anxiety and a tendency to fall in to a low mood if Not careful. 

 So glad to hear that! Rests from withdrawal symptoms are always welcome. 

2004: Clonazepam and Celexa. 2005 - 2006: Effexor, then increased to high dose, then switched to Valproate and Seroquel. 2007: Wellbutrin + Strattera + Celexa. 2007 - 2008: Wellbutrin + Adderall + Paxil. 2008 - 2012: Wellbutrin + occasional SSRIs when I had worsened "depression", which happened around 4 times, usually after CT of WB. 2012 - 2014: WB + Sertraline, then WB + Pristiq (awful W/D) then WB + rTMS, then ketamine. 2014 - 2016: Wellbutrin 200 mg + Abilify 4 mg + Adderall 20-40 mg + Cipralex 20 mg. Oct 2016: "Tapered" Cipralex, felt outrageously anxious, irritable. Dec 2016: "Tapered" Adderall, then felt depressed, hopeless, fatigued.  Feb 6 2017: reinstated 20 mg Adderall. Mar 2017: switched to Vyvanse, upped to 30 mg. May - Aug 2017: "Tapered" Vyvanse + Abilify to zero. Oct 25, 2017: Wellbutrin from 200 to 100 mg. Sep 10, 2018:  Wellbutrin from 90 to 60 mg. Oct 29, 2018: WB from 60 to 50 mg. Dec 19, 2018: WB from 50 to 45 mg. Apr 15, 2019: WB 41 mg. May 14, 2019: WB 37 mg. Jun 8, 2019: WB 33 mg. Jul 22: WB 30 mg, then down by around 10% per month. Aug 2020: 0

 

Working hard to take my life back. Anything I say here is as a friend or peer supporter; it is not medical advice.

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  • 4 months later...
  • Administrator

Longest, how are you doing?

This is not medical advice. Discuss any decisions about your medical care with a knowledgeable medical practitioner.

"It has become appallingly obvious that our technology has surpassed our humanity." -- Albert Einstein

All postings © copyrighted.

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  • 4 months later...
Thelongestroadhome

It has been about ten months since my last post. A lot has changed during that time. I am now completely off lexapro. 

 

I would not not recommend what I did to anyone else. I did a complete cold turkey from 2mg. It was not planned but due to circumstances it happened. Basically I ran out of my liquid lexapro and left it four days before going to the pharmacy to fill my script. This was due in part to being broke and waiting for payday, I had never done that before. When I got to the pharmacy I was told that my script was out of date ( lexapro liquid at 2mg last a LONG time!) and I needed to see my Doctor for a new prescription. That was on a Friday and my Doctor wasn’t available till the following Monday. Then when I rang to make an appointment I found out that she was on leave for two weeks. Basically I didn’t want to see another GP and decided there and then to see how things went and try to live without lexapro. Like I said, I wouldn’t recommend this to anyone else but for me it seems to have worked out so far. 

 

It has been five months since that time. I have had no physical signs of withdrawal. My general mood has been mostly good. I have good and bad days just like most people. I realise that for some people this might be considered a honeymoon period. I am very aware of that. 

 

For or the past two years I have done a lot of work on my thought life, mainly through teachers like Dr Joe Dispenza, Eckhart Tolle and Byron Katie. Helping my thought life has been beneficial in many ways. I seldom slip in to a depressive state like I used to. If I don’t watch my thinking then I notice the difference immediately. Thankfully even if I do slip in to a negative realm most of the time I manage to climb back out quickly. 

 

Self care is my tool box. I find meditation, long hot baths, swimming, listening to self help books on Audible, watching YouTube videos of Eckhart, Byron Katie and others and other things too numerous to mention imperative in keeping me well. 

 

One we thing I have deliberately done is stay away from here. Please don’t get me wrong, this place has helped me tremendously but at the same time it can be a trigger for me. I have to be so careful with what I take on board. If I know I am not strong enough to read the stories then I don’t. 

 

I am am fully aware that five months is not a long time. Things could get worse. I try to take one day at a time. I don’t look ahead too far and worry about what might be. If and when that time comes I will deal with it then. 

 

I was on lexapro for 11 years. It took me a long time to withdraw to 2mg and I was scared that I would never get off. I think the fear each time I withdrew a small amount got worse with each attempt. I’m not sure how much the symptoms were due to fear and how much they were due to withdrawal itself. A bit of both perhaps. 

 

Right now I feel like I did prior to my ‘breakdown’. On reflection I was always a worrier. From a young child I worried about lots of things. I reached the age of 43 before this behaviour resulted in a ‘breakdown’. That makes me marvel at the ability of our bodies to endure stress! Although it was an awful situation at the time I can now see the positives. I am learning how to cope with life anew. I am not perfect. I fail miserably lots of times. But I have a better foundation now. I know that it is not the situation in life that threatens to destroy me but MY thoughts about that situation. It makes a huge difference. ❤️

Current...Drug free since September 2018

December 2007 30mg Lexapro and a benzodiazepine December 2008 25mg, December 2009 20mg, December 2010 15mg Lexapro, December 2011 10mg Lexapro. Long hold as I felt happy with the dose and saw no need at the time to reduce further. September 2015 dropped to 5mg. Terrible anxiety started two months later. June 2016 dropped to 3mg and terrible obsessive thoughts and anxiety so ten days later I reinstated back to 5mg. October 2016 dropped to 4mg. April 2017 dropped to 3mg. September 2017 dropped to 2mg. Terrible obsessive thoughts. Anxiety through the roof. OCD.  September 2018 quit cold turkey 2mg Lexapro. March 2019 feeling better than I have in years. 

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  • ChessieCat changed the title to Longestroadhome: long road back with Lexapro

Hello Longest

 

I have just read through your whole thread with much interest.  If you have a minute please read my last few posts and you will see why........

 

I really like the way you have handled the anxiety and also the health anxiety, I too have this very badly for several months now.  The anxiety has got so bad that my leg, hip, back and neck hurt and brought on my tension and anxiety, its very painful and having practised yoga for years quite shocking for this to flare up, not been doing yoga recently, I need to try it again, it may help.

 

I had a family drama, and still ongoing, back in October last year and this took my anxiety to new level, feel like a nervous wreck, on the edge, nerves shot to pieces, you get the picture.

 

There is nothing I can do about the family situation but I need to learn to accept it.

 

I like all the things you have done to cope with the anxiety, the audio, various youtube and ways to manage.  Clairie Weekes is my go to.

 

I have got so scared recently that I am thinking of reinstating.  Your posts have helped me maybe hold off for a  while.

 

So much you mention has really hepled me.

 

The worst for me is one the terrible anxiety but the depression now set in and a result of the chronic anxiety I do believe.

 

Sadly I dont have much support here, family not nearby and no  partner to talk to or lean on.  I have the house to pay for on my own and its getting concerning now.

 

Had many friends until all this withdrawal became so bad and most of the people I met up just for chat and coffee have drifed off as my mood is not easy to be around.

 

I only have one good friend and its hard going for him now too.

 

I am so glad to hear your are doing well and have been able to push through the anxiety so well with your tools.

 

I will have to see how I go, patience running very thin now.

 

Wishing you good health.

 

Waves12

Various antipressants from 1991 to 2016, Sertraline and many switches over the years.

Last AD's taken:

Citalopram for two weeks only May 2016  to June 2016, last AD taken and CT'd.

2012 to May 2016 Duloxitine 60mg. Doctor switched to Citalopram 20mg May 2016.

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Thelongestroadhome

Thank you for your words of encouragement Waves12. I am sorry to hear that your anxiety has been bad. Believe me when I say that I understand. 

 

I neglected to mention that these past five months have been very stressful in my personal life. My father has Alzheimer’s and his decline has been rapid. His care is almost totally mine alone. I have siblings but they just don’t seem to care.  This in itself has had the potential to affect my moods. I have had to work extremely hard to overcome that. The thought of losing my Dad can often escalate in to the worst scenario in my over active mind! It is one area that Eckhart Tolle and Dr Joe Dispenza teaching has really helped me. But like I said, it is an ongoing practice. It is like physical exercise, if you stop then you would slowly notice a decline in your physical stamina. The same applies to our thought life. Without regular practice those thoughts take over and the pattern begins again. 

 

Many times over over the past eleven years I considered re instating lexapro to its original dose. Even adding more drugs to the equation! But I knew in my heart that wasn’t the answer. The best I ever felt was not highly medicated but highly meditative! Now if you could capture that state in a pill it would be a winner 😜

 

i can trstify that an amxious day has almost miraculously turned around on a number of occasions due to me working on my thinking. I have gone from extreme anxiety to extreme peace in the space of twenty minutes. Some days it is hard and I may go to bed feeling defeated. But I always wake up ready to open my tool box again. I start every morning with a twenty minute meditation whether I feel like it or not. My children know to leave me in peace in the morning as I am doing work on my health!  Whilst doing the housework I turn on Audible and listen to a self help book. I also have a few Clare Weeks! 

 

This may not work for everyone, I understand that. I don’t want to make anyone feel bad if they can’t do it.  For me it has been the difference between night and day. I surround myself with quotes all over the house! On the fridge, bathroom door, anywhere I can! Dr Joe Dispenza says that we spend years creating a familiar circuit in our brains from negative thinking. It becomes wired and automatic. I can relate! But just as easily we can break that circuit down and re form it. Change the thoughts. Even if you don’t believe them at first keep repeating them. Eventually they will become hard wired in place of the previous ones. 

 

I wish you all the best.  I believe in your ability to help yourself. Nobody is coming to save you... you have to save yourself ♥️

 

Edited by ChessieCat
removed quote, added OP name to post

Current...Drug free since September 2018

December 2007 30mg Lexapro and a benzodiazepine December 2008 25mg, December 2009 20mg, December 2010 15mg Lexapro, December 2011 10mg Lexapro. Long hold as I felt happy with the dose and saw no need at the time to reduce further. September 2015 dropped to 5mg. Terrible anxiety started two months later. June 2016 dropped to 3mg and terrible obsessive thoughts and anxiety so ten days later I reinstated back to 5mg. October 2016 dropped to 4mg. April 2017 dropped to 3mg. September 2017 dropped to 2mg. Terrible obsessive thoughts. Anxiety through the roof. OCD.  September 2018 quit cold turkey 2mg Lexapro. March 2019 feeling better than I have in years. 

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Thelongestroadhome

One thing that I want to note here is about my compulsive need to hoard whilst on lexapro. Not long after starting the drug I became obsessed with EBay. Literally obsessed. I would spend hours scanning the site. I started collecting things, useless things, and hoarding them. This went on for years. It wasn’t until I read one of Dr Peter Breggin books and read his description of other people doing similar things that I recognised a pattern. 

 

I wrote about this today because I realised that over the past five months my need to spend money recklessly has gone! Even if I start putting things in an online cart I can’t go ahead with the final purchase. The ability to reason with myself and resist has kicked in. 

 

I am not sure why lexapro made me obsessive in that regard. It was completely out of character. It went on for so long and caused many financial issues for my family. The things I bought had no material value. The need to hoard those useless items consumed me. 

 

It is just one symptom of the drugs that seems to have gone. Maybe I am happier within myself and therefore don’t need to spend ridiculous amounts of money to feed that. Or maybe the drug alters our behaviours. I can only guess. 

Current...Drug free since September 2018

December 2007 30mg Lexapro and a benzodiazepine December 2008 25mg, December 2009 20mg, December 2010 15mg Lexapro, December 2011 10mg Lexapro. Long hold as I felt happy with the dose and saw no need at the time to reduce further. September 2015 dropped to 5mg. Terrible anxiety started two months later. June 2016 dropped to 3mg and terrible obsessive thoughts and anxiety so ten days later I reinstated back to 5mg. October 2016 dropped to 4mg. April 2017 dropped to 3mg. September 2017 dropped to 2mg. Terrible obsessive thoughts. Anxiety through the roof. OCD.  September 2018 quit cold turkey 2mg Lexapro. March 2019 feeling better than I have in years. 

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8 minutes ago, Longestroadhome said:

I wrote about this today because I realised that over the past five months my need to spend money recklessly has gone! Even if I start putting things in an online cart I can’t go ahead with the final purchase. The ability to reason with myself and resist has kicked in. 

 

wow, this is so interesting to me!

I had a problem while on lexapro where I would continually buy things in multiples that I didn't need. And then I'd either end up giving away the extra or selling them at a loss. I did this over and over again, it was like I couldn't learn from the past experience of doing the exact same thing. I also felt a fondness for "things" that I did not feel for people, it seemed odd to me at the time but I didn't know what to do about it.

 

I am not doing that any more, and in fact I almost have a PTSD feeling about making any purchase, afraid it will be part of that old pattern I'd gotten into when I was "under the influence" of the drug.

 

this is the first time I've heard of anyone else having an issue with shopping this way, thank you for posting about it.

so odd that  a drug could do this, but after all the bizarre symptoms of WD/recovery,  almost nothing would surprise me about the negative effects of these chemicals

 

so glad you're seeing an improvement!

  • pysch med history: 1974 @ age 18 to Oct 2017 (approx 43 yrs total)
  •  Drug list: stelazine, haldol, elavil, lithium, zoloft, celexa, lexapro(doses as high as 40mgs), klonopin, ambien, seroquel(high doses), depakote, zyprexa, lamictal- plus brief trials of dozens of other psych meds over the years
  • started lexapro 2002, dose varied from 20mgs to 40mgs. I tried to get off it several times. WD symptoms were mistaken for "relapse". 
  •  2013 too fast taper down to 5mg but WD forced me back to 20mgs
  •  June of 2105, tapered again too rapidly to 2.5mgs by Dec 2015. Found SA, held at 2.5 mgs til May 2016 when I foolishly "jumped off". Crashed in Sept, reinstated at 0.3mgs in Oct. 2106
  • Tapered off to zero by  Oct. 2017 Doing very well
  • Nov. 2018 feel 95% healed, current age 63 
  • Jan. 2020 feel 100% healed, peaceful and content 
  • April 2021, loving life ❤️ 
 
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  • Moderator Emeritus

I have just realised that you and another member longroadhome with a very similar name both have very similar automated green L avatars.

 

Because you both have a similar name and also green, it would be helpful if one, or both of you, change your avatar so the mods and members don't get confused.

 

Click on the drop down arrow next to your name (top right).  Click on Profile.  You will see your avatar at the top of the page.  Just beneath the avatar there is a picture icon.  Click on the icon.

NEW!!!     INTERVIEW with Altostrata, SA's founder    NEW!!! 

 

Plodding along inch by inch:  12" = 1',  3' =  36 " or 1 yard,  1760 yards  = 63,360" or 1 mile

Current from 17 Apr 2021:  Pristiq 0.2665mg  now holding each dose for 3 weeks

ADs since ~1992:  25+ years - 1 unknown, Prozac (muscle weakness), Zoloft; citalopram (pooped out) CTed (very sick for 2.5 wks a few months after); Pristiq:  50mg 2012, 100mg beg 2013 (Serotonin Toxicity)  Tapering Oct 2015 

My tapering program   My Intro (goes to my tapering graph)  My website

PLEASE NOTE:  I am not a medical professional.  I provide information and make suggestions.

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Thelongestroadhome

Happy2Heal wow! Someone else who understands what I went through. It was very weird. Some of the things I collected were ridiculous. If they came in different colours I had to buy every single one and sometimes even two of the same of each kind. I always sold at a great financial loss. I tried so hard to overcome to obsessive behaviour. At one point my psychologist told me that I was replacing real people with the things I collected! It was true, I liked my stash of goodies more than I liked most people . 

 

I will I’ll try to find the name of the book that I read so you can see what Dr Breggin wrote. We were not alone!

Current...Drug free since September 2018

December 2007 30mg Lexapro and a benzodiazepine December 2008 25mg, December 2009 20mg, December 2010 15mg Lexapro, December 2011 10mg Lexapro. Long hold as I felt happy with the dose and saw no need at the time to reduce further. September 2015 dropped to 5mg. Terrible anxiety started two months later. June 2016 dropped to 3mg and terrible obsessive thoughts and anxiety so ten days later I reinstated back to 5mg. October 2016 dropped to 4mg. April 2017 dropped to 3mg. September 2017 dropped to 2mg. Terrible obsessive thoughts. Anxiety through the roof. OCD.  September 2018 quit cold turkey 2mg Lexapro. March 2019 feeling better than I have in years. 

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Thelongestroadhome

ChessieCat, yes I noticed that myself and it confuses me too. Because I hadn’t logged on for a while at first I thought they were impersonating me!

Current...Drug free since September 2018

December 2007 30mg Lexapro and a benzodiazepine December 2008 25mg, December 2009 20mg, December 2010 15mg Lexapro, December 2011 10mg Lexapro. Long hold as I felt happy with the dose and saw no need at the time to reduce further. September 2015 dropped to 5mg. Terrible anxiety started two months later. June 2016 dropped to 3mg and terrible obsessive thoughts and anxiety so ten days later I reinstated back to 5mg. October 2016 dropped to 4mg. April 2017 dropped to 3mg. September 2017 dropped to 2mg. Terrible obsessive thoughts. Anxiety through the roof. OCD.  September 2018 quit cold turkey 2mg Lexapro. March 2019 feeling better than I have in years. 

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  • Moderator Emeritus
1 minute ago, Longestroadhome said:

If they came in different colours I had to buy every single one

 

Yes!  If I couldn't decide which colour and I could only afford one or two I wouldn't buy any.  I've never connected it with being on an AD but it is possible that it affected my decision making abilities.

NEW!!!     INTERVIEW with Altostrata, SA's founder    NEW!!! 

 

Plodding along inch by inch:  12" = 1',  3' =  36 " or 1 yard,  1760 yards  = 63,360" or 1 mile

Current from 17 Apr 2021:  Pristiq 0.2665mg  now holding each dose for 3 weeks

ADs since ~1992:  25+ years - 1 unknown, Prozac (muscle weakness), Zoloft; citalopram (pooped out) CTed (very sick for 2.5 wks a few months after); Pristiq:  50mg 2012, 100mg beg 2013 (Serotonin Toxicity)  Tapering Oct 2015 

My tapering program   My Intro (goes to my tapering graph)  My website

PLEASE NOTE:  I am not a medical professional.  I provide information and make suggestions.

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  • Moderator Emeritus
2 minutes ago, Longestroadhome said:

ChessieCat, yes I noticed that myself and it confuses me too. Because I hadn’t logged on for a while at first I thought they were impersonating me!

 

We've had the same thing happen with members with Leo in their name.

NEW!!!     INTERVIEW with Altostrata, SA's founder    NEW!!! 

 

Plodding along inch by inch:  12" = 1',  3' =  36 " or 1 yard,  1760 yards  = 63,360" or 1 mile

Current from 17 Apr 2021:  Pristiq 0.2665mg  now holding each dose for 3 weeks

ADs since ~1992:  25+ years - 1 unknown, Prozac (muscle weakness), Zoloft; citalopram (pooped out) CTed (very sick for 2.5 wks a few months after); Pristiq:  50mg 2012, 100mg beg 2013 (Serotonin Toxicity)  Tapering Oct 2015 

My tapering program   My Intro (goes to my tapering graph)  My website

PLEASE NOTE:  I am not a medical professional.  I provide information and make suggestions.

Link to post
Thelongestroadhome

Something I forgot to mention but feel has played an important role in my recovery. I was a vegan during the past four years of my withdrawal. Ethical and health. During the past year I developed terrible IBS and was advised to follow the FODMAP diet. That made being vegan more difficult but I persued. Then last September, the same time I withdrew from lexapro, I was diagnosed with type two Diabetes. I believe lexapro contributed to this diagnosis due to the massive weight gain I experienced whilst in it. But my high carb vegan diet was also a factor. 

 

My doctor strongly recommended that I follow a Paleo type diet. Now Ethics is a wonderful thing but when it comes to health you have to decide what is more important, in my case the answer was ME. 

 

From September I have been eating a  Ketotarian style diet as recommended by functional medicine author Dr Will Cole. It falls on line with the diet recommended by Dr Kelly Brogan. No grains, no dairy, no legumes, no potatoes. My diet focuses on vegetables, healthy fats like chia, hemp seeds, nuts, avocados, coconut oil and milk,  with small amounts of fish and occasionally chicken. I do make my own chicken stock. The diet doesn’t encourage red meat but I have on occasion indulged! I eat as much fermented food as I can each day such as sauerkraut, kimchi, kombucha. 

 

From what I have read my former high carb, high grain diet probably did not help with my mood. As a long term vegan I probably lacked essential gut flora. I think the fact that I developed IBS in the final year was a tell tale sign that my gut was struggling. 

 

Apparently it can take up to two years for the gut to heal. But already I feel better eating like this.

Current...Drug free since September 2018

December 2007 30mg Lexapro and a benzodiazepine December 2008 25mg, December 2009 20mg, December 2010 15mg Lexapro, December 2011 10mg Lexapro. Long hold as I felt happy with the dose and saw no need at the time to reduce further. September 2015 dropped to 5mg. Terrible anxiety started two months later. June 2016 dropped to 3mg and terrible obsessive thoughts and anxiety so ten days later I reinstated back to 5mg. October 2016 dropped to 4mg. April 2017 dropped to 3mg. September 2017 dropped to 2mg. Terrible obsessive thoughts. Anxiety through the roof. OCD.  September 2018 quit cold turkey 2mg Lexapro. March 2019 feeling better than I have in years. 

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  • 4 weeks later...
Thelongestroadhome

 

Current...Drug free since September 2018

December 2007 30mg Lexapro and a benzodiazepine December 2008 25mg, December 2009 20mg, December 2010 15mg Lexapro, December 2011 10mg Lexapro. Long hold as I felt happy with the dose and saw no need at the time to reduce further. September 2015 dropped to 5mg. Terrible anxiety started two months later. June 2016 dropped to 3mg and terrible obsessive thoughts and anxiety so ten days later I reinstated back to 5mg. October 2016 dropped to 4mg. April 2017 dropped to 3mg. September 2017 dropped to 2mg. Terrible obsessive thoughts. Anxiety through the roof. OCD.  September 2018 quit cold turkey 2mg Lexapro. March 2019 feeling better than I have in years. 

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  • 5 weeks later...
Thelongestroadhome

It has been eight months now since I quit cold turkey. Life continues to go well, aside from the everyday issues that we all face! 

 

I feel as though my life has been given back to me. I am slowly losing the weight that I gained whilst on lexapro. That is a bonus. I thought that I had lost the old me but slowly she is becoming more familiar to me! 

 

I still I’ll have the odd day where anxiety threatens to rise up but I manage it much better and it never gets the better of me. 

 

I will I’ll pop back in a few months and update. I am very thankful for the help and support here and I wish everyone well ❤️🙏

Current...Drug free since September 2018

December 2007 30mg Lexapro and a benzodiazepine December 2008 25mg, December 2009 20mg, December 2010 15mg Lexapro, December 2011 10mg Lexapro. Long hold as I felt happy with the dose and saw no need at the time to reduce further. September 2015 dropped to 5mg. Terrible anxiety started two months later. June 2016 dropped to 3mg and terrible obsessive thoughts and anxiety so ten days later I reinstated back to 5mg. October 2016 dropped to 4mg. April 2017 dropped to 3mg. September 2017 dropped to 2mg. Terrible obsessive thoughts. Anxiety through the roof. OCD.  September 2018 quit cold turkey 2mg Lexapro. March 2019 feeling better than I have in years. 

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  • Administrator
Altostrata

Because you're feeling better, I added our cheerful "here comes the sun" symbol ☼ to the title of your Intro topic, to show you're recovering.

 

Please continue to let us know how you're doing. I hope you will add your story to our Recovery Success Stories eventually!

This is not medical advice. Discuss any decisions about your medical care with a knowledgeable medical practitioner.

"It has become appallingly obvious that our technology has surpassed our humanity." -- Albert Einstein

All postings © copyrighted.

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  • 4 weeks later...
Thelongestroadhome

Thank you Alto for my ray of 🌞 I truly hope that my story will help someone out there. 

 

It is nine months now since quitting Lexapro.

 

One thing that I want to say to people is that life doesn’t suddenly become perfect when you reach a long awaited goal. Some people, women in particular, think that if they lose weight, get a face lift, find the perfect partner.... that life will suddenly become perfect. I am sure there are many out there who have achieved such goals and found that to be true. 

 

It is is the same with psychiatric drug withdrawal. Life won’t suddenly get better the minute you are free from your drug or you have achieved a period of time drug free and think all withdrawal symptoms are over. Life is happening RIGHT NOW and trying to live as best you can in that moment is paramount. I’m not saying the journey is easy but there is no nirvana waiting for you on the other side either 😜

 

If you learn nothing else during this journey then learn how to manage stress, anxiety, depression as best you can because it may possibly still be there waiting for you on the other side. Build a tool box of coping skills that you can carry throughout life. 

 

My life is going well. I have days where I have to work hard to overcome negative thoughts or dark days. We all have them. But the majority of my days are good. I am actually thankful for the eleven years I spent withdrawing from psychotic meds because it taught me a lot. I wish I knew what I know now when I was a young girl because it would have helped me cope much better in life. I wish I knew what I know now when my doctor handed me a script for lexapro and diagnosed me with post natal depression. But hindsight is a useless thing 😜😜

 

I think of everyone here often. I pray for healing for you all. I think of those I knew who took their own life because it was too hard. Please know that I am your silent supporter, shouting encouragement from the sidelines. You CAN do this 🙏🙏💕💕

Current...Drug free since September 2018

December 2007 30mg Lexapro and a benzodiazepine December 2008 25mg, December 2009 20mg, December 2010 15mg Lexapro, December 2011 10mg Lexapro. Long hold as I felt happy with the dose and saw no need at the time to reduce further. September 2015 dropped to 5mg. Terrible anxiety started two months later. June 2016 dropped to 3mg and terrible obsessive thoughts and anxiety so ten days later I reinstated back to 5mg. October 2016 dropped to 4mg. April 2017 dropped to 3mg. September 2017 dropped to 2mg. Terrible obsessive thoughts. Anxiety through the roof. OCD.  September 2018 quit cold turkey 2mg Lexapro. March 2019 feeling better than I have in years. 

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Its looks like your hard work has paid off and your whole story is a very positive read for people. 

 

Without sounding patronising, Well done I really hope to be where you are one day, you really have done the work and rewired your thinking.

Been on Mirtazapine 30mg for 3yrs and want to come off due to weight gain & morning hangover.

Mid March 2019 went to 15mg one night 30mg the next for a week

Was feeling ok so dropped to 15mg per night but anxiety came back so tried to get back to 30mg but body didnt like it so I panicked and found this site. Dr told me to get stable at 22 1/2mg for a month but have stuck at 15mg and plan to get stable on this, its day 3 on 15mg.

 

Reinstated back to 30 mg of Mirt and have been on this for a few weeks. Now feel leveled out to a point where I can function and work at a level of anxiety I can cope with. 

 

 

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Thelongestroadhome

Thank You Maca44 for your kind words. I am a born and bred Hampshire girl,  now living in Australia. 

Working on your thought life is a bit like physical exercise, you have to force yourself up and out of the house to do it but once completed you are so glad you did it. And like physical exercise you can’t do it one week then leave it for a month before going again. It is a daily chore! 

I will visit your thread and see how you are doing. Stay positive and don’t give up. You are stronger than you think ❤️

 

Current...Drug free since September 2018

December 2007 30mg Lexapro and a benzodiazepine December 2008 25mg, December 2009 20mg, December 2010 15mg Lexapro, December 2011 10mg Lexapro. Long hold as I felt happy with the dose and saw no need at the time to reduce further. September 2015 dropped to 5mg. Terrible anxiety started two months later. June 2016 dropped to 3mg and terrible obsessive thoughts and anxiety so ten days later I reinstated back to 5mg. October 2016 dropped to 4mg. April 2017 dropped to 3mg. September 2017 dropped to 2mg. Terrible obsessive thoughts. Anxiety through the roof. OCD.  September 2018 quit cold turkey 2mg Lexapro. March 2019 feeling better than I have in years. 

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  • 3 weeks later...
Thelongestroadhome

I have had a difficult few days with anxiety running high. My tool box felt useless, inadequate. The mind wonders, trying to analyse the circumstances and find a reason for the difficulty. Was it something I ate, lack of sleep or just the pattern of withdrawal? 

 

I have realised that during my withdrawal I seldom wrote her about my bad experiences. I tended to stay away from here when I felt  bad. In reflection that has probably portrayed my journey as easy, many would think that I haven’t suffered enough and am not relatable. Having just passed through a very difficult wave made me re think my journal here. In trying to remain positive I have left out huge chunks of the story. 

 

Thankfully the wave wave passed relatively quickly and once again I feel stable. I allowed the fear within to have its place. I tried not to fight it. I forced myself out to the cinema and watched The Tolkien movie. For the first half hour I felt as though my heart was going to jump out of my chest but as the movie progressed I felt my body relaxing. It did me good and I left happier. I realised that in some cases it is good to push myself. 

 

The fear associated with with withdrawal anxiety is hard to explain to someone who hasn’t experienced it. It is awful, almost chemical in nature. I wouldn’t wish it on my worst enemy. 

 

Upwards and onwards. I still have acupuncture and floatation listed as future tools to help in times of difficulty. I like having options available even if they only help by placating my mind. 

Current...Drug free since September 2018

December 2007 30mg Lexapro and a benzodiazepine December 2008 25mg, December 2009 20mg, December 2010 15mg Lexapro, December 2011 10mg Lexapro. Long hold as I felt happy with the dose and saw no need at the time to reduce further. September 2015 dropped to 5mg. Terrible anxiety started two months later. June 2016 dropped to 3mg and terrible obsessive thoughts and anxiety so ten days later I reinstated back to 5mg. October 2016 dropped to 4mg. April 2017 dropped to 3mg. September 2017 dropped to 2mg. Terrible obsessive thoughts. Anxiety through the roof. OCD.  September 2018 quit cold turkey 2mg Lexapro. March 2019 feeling better than I have in years. 

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  • 3 weeks later...
Thelongestroadhome

I seem to be having more regular bouts of anxiety. My recent bout has lasted almost a week with no reprieve. My toolbox isn’t helping. I feel as though I am floating with my head barely above water. 

 

I know now from experience that a bout with anxiety can take me down quickly and once down it is not easy to rise up. I am aware of negative thought patterns taking hold. A broken record. 

 

I am am currently in a state of mild panic. What to do? The fear of going back to that dark place overwhelms me. But that is what it is...fear....not actual reality. 

 

I don’t want to believe that this is a result of my cold turkey last year. If that is the case then why now, almost eleven months later. It doesn’t make sense. I have been doing so well. 

 

Current...Drug free since September 2018

December 2007 30mg Lexapro and a benzodiazepine December 2008 25mg, December 2009 20mg, December 2010 15mg Lexapro, December 2011 10mg Lexapro. Long hold as I felt happy with the dose and saw no need at the time to reduce further. September 2015 dropped to 5mg. Terrible anxiety started two months later. June 2016 dropped to 3mg and terrible obsessive thoughts and anxiety so ten days later I reinstated back to 5mg. October 2016 dropped to 4mg. April 2017 dropped to 3mg. September 2017 dropped to 2mg. Terrible obsessive thoughts. Anxiety through the roof. OCD.  September 2018 quit cold turkey 2mg Lexapro. March 2019 feeling better than I have in years. 

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  • Moderator Emeritus

Check out this post by BrassMonkey.  Below is only part of the post.  Please click on the arrow, top right of the quote box which will take you to the full post:

 

On 5/22/2018 at 5:12 AM, brassmonkey said:

There is one big exception to this pattern.  This is referred to as the “ten-month wave”, because it typically hits during month ten.  In reality it can hit any time between seven and twelve months, but ten months is the most common. 

 

NEW!!!     INTERVIEW with Altostrata, SA's founder    NEW!!! 

 

Plodding along inch by inch:  12" = 1',  3' =  36 " or 1 yard,  1760 yards  = 63,360" or 1 mile

Current from 17 Apr 2021:  Pristiq 0.2665mg  now holding each dose for 3 weeks

ADs since ~1992:  25+ years - 1 unknown, Prozac (muscle weakness), Zoloft; citalopram (pooped out) CTed (very sick for 2.5 wks a few months after); Pristiq:  50mg 2012, 100mg beg 2013 (Serotonin Toxicity)  Tapering Oct 2015 

My tapering program   My Intro (goes to my tapering graph)  My website

PLEASE NOTE:  I am not a medical professional.  I provide information and make suggestions.

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Thelongestroadhome

Thank you ChessieCat that post has really encouraged me. I had not heard of the ten month wave before. Hearing that has given me the resolve to push through this. 

 

The anxiety is very unreal in as in as much as when it passes my mind just can’t comprehend where the fear came from. It makes no sense. It is totally exaggerated in form. Yet at the time it feels very real. 

 

I must admit that that when I said my toolbox wasn’t working that wasn’t really true. I wasn’t even reaching in to my toolbox. I was feeling so bad that I told myself nothing would work. 

 

last night I went to bed watching an Eckhart Tolle video on YouTube. Within minutes I could feel the weight lifting from my shoulders. His words were like a healing balm. I realised that I haven’t put enough emphasis on self care. I got complacent about doing the things that helped me. Dare I say but I forgot how bad BAD feels. Complacency has no part in this journey. 

 

I woke early this this morning with the typical cortisol high. Racing heartbeat, rushing to the bathroom. Thank God I checked my emails and found ChessieCat reply to my post. 

 

The Devil you know is a much easier enemy to fight. 

Current...Drug free since September 2018

December 2007 30mg Lexapro and a benzodiazepine December 2008 25mg, December 2009 20mg, December 2010 15mg Lexapro, December 2011 10mg Lexapro. Long hold as I felt happy with the dose and saw no need at the time to reduce further. September 2015 dropped to 5mg. Terrible anxiety started two months later. June 2016 dropped to 3mg and terrible obsessive thoughts and anxiety so ten days later I reinstated back to 5mg. October 2016 dropped to 4mg. April 2017 dropped to 3mg. September 2017 dropped to 2mg. Terrible obsessive thoughts. Anxiety through the roof. OCD.  September 2018 quit cold turkey 2mg Lexapro. March 2019 feeling better than I have in years. 

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  • Moderator Emeritus

Understanding what is happening helps us to not get caught up with the second fear, or fear of the fear.  This happens when we experience sensations in our body and because we don't understand them we are scared of them and then start to panic.

 

This document has a diagram of the body explaining what happens in the body when we become anxious:

 

https://www.getselfhelp.co.uk/docs/AnxietySelfHelp.pdf

 

 

Audio FEMALE VOICE:  First Aid for Panic (4 minutes)

 

Audio MALE VOICE:  First Aid for Panic (4 minutes)

 

Non-drug techniques to cope

 

dealing-with-emotional-spirals

 

Dr Claire Weekes suffered from anxiety and learned and taught ways of coping.  There are videos available on YouTube.

 

Claire Weekes' Method of Recovering from a Sensitized Nervous System

 

Audio:  How to Recover from Anxiety - Dr Claire Weekes

 

 
Resources:  Centre for Clinical Interventions (PDF modules that you can work through, eg:  Depression, Distress Intolerance, Health Anxiety, Low Self-Esteem, Panic Attacks, Perfectionism, Procrastination, Social Anxiety, Worrying)
 
On 4/28/2017 at 4:03 AM, brassmonkey said:

 

AAF: Acknowledge, Accept, Float.  It's what you have to do when nothing else works, and can be a very powerful tool in coping with anxiety.  The neuroemotional anxiety many of us feel during WD is directly caused by the drugs and their chemical reactions in the brain.  Making it so there is nothing we can do about them.  They won't respond to other drugs, relaxation techniques and the like.  They do, however, react very well to being ignored.  That's the concept behind AAF.  Acknowledge, get to know the feeling involved, explore them.  Accept, These feelings are a part of you and they aren't going anywhere fast. Float, let the feeling float off as you get on with your life as best as you can.  It's a well documented fact that the more you feed in to anxiety the worse it gets.  What starts as generalized neuroemotinal anxiety can be easily blown into a full fledged panic attack just by thinking about it.

 

I often liken it to an unwanted house guest.  At first you talk to them, have conversations, communicate with them.  After a while you figure out that they aren't leaving and there is nothing you can do to get rid of them.  So you go on about your day, working around them until they get bored and leave.

 

It can take some practice, but AAF really does work.  I hope you give it a try.

 

 

NEW!!!     INTERVIEW with Altostrata, SA's founder    NEW!!! 

 

Plodding along inch by inch:  12" = 1',  3' =  36 " or 1 yard,  1760 yards  = 63,360" or 1 mile

Current from 17 Apr 2021:  Pristiq 0.2665mg  now holding each dose for 3 weeks

ADs since ~1992:  25+ years - 1 unknown, Prozac (muscle weakness), Zoloft; citalopram (pooped out) CTed (very sick for 2.5 wks a few months after); Pristiq:  50mg 2012, 100mg beg 2013 (Serotonin Toxicity)  Tapering Oct 2015 

My tapering program   My Intro (goes to my tapering graph)  My website

PLEASE NOTE:  I am not a medical professional.  I provide information and make suggestions.

Link to post
Thelongestroadhome

Thank You ChessieCat, valuable advise which I must re read and take on board. It is so easy to become complacent when things have been going so well for a long time. This has caught me off guard and totally unprepared. I really appreciate your support. 

Current...Drug free since September 2018

December 2007 30mg Lexapro and a benzodiazepine December 2008 25mg, December 2009 20mg, December 2010 15mg Lexapro, December 2011 10mg Lexapro. Long hold as I felt happy with the dose and saw no need at the time to reduce further. September 2015 dropped to 5mg. Terrible anxiety started two months later. June 2016 dropped to 3mg and terrible obsessive thoughts and anxiety so ten days later I reinstated back to 5mg. October 2016 dropped to 4mg. April 2017 dropped to 3mg. September 2017 dropped to 2mg. Terrible obsessive thoughts. Anxiety through the roof. OCD.  September 2018 quit cold turkey 2mg Lexapro. March 2019 feeling better than I have in years. 

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  • 2 weeks later...
Thelongestroadhome

I’m still travelling a rocky road. I have periods where things feel better but then other days where I feel as though I am sliding back in to a dark hole. 

 

Sleep is a a major factor. I recently spent two nights away and barely slept. My mood took a nosedive and it took a few nights of good sleep for me to return to a healthy mindset. 

 

The thought life is still a major area of interest to me. The problem that I now realise is that it isn’t as easy as I once thought. When you are feeling good it is easy to think positive thoughts. When you are feeling bad it can be hard work. But the hard work is worth putting in. 

 

I am going to re introduce fish oil and magnesium to my schedule. I also plan on starting an exercise regime. These are all things which are supported by positive evidence to improve mental health. I have drawers full of various supplements that I bought over the years in desperation that did nothing. Expensive urine! 

 

I sometimes wonder whether my cold turkey from 2mg could have contributed to this ten month wave. I should have remained patient and continued with a steady withdrawal process. Hindsight is a useless thing. 

 

 

Current...Drug free since September 2018

December 2007 30mg Lexapro and a benzodiazepine December 2008 25mg, December 2009 20mg, December 2010 15mg Lexapro, December 2011 10mg Lexapro. Long hold as I felt happy with the dose and saw no need at the time to reduce further. September 2015 dropped to 5mg. Terrible anxiety started two months later. June 2016 dropped to 3mg and terrible obsessive thoughts and anxiety so ten days later I reinstated back to 5mg. October 2016 dropped to 4mg. April 2017 dropped to 3mg. September 2017 dropped to 2mg. Terrible obsessive thoughts. Anxiety through the roof. OCD.  September 2018 quit cold turkey 2mg Lexapro. March 2019 feeling better than I have in years. 

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  • 5 weeks later...
Thelongestroadhome

It’s been a month since my last posting. In that time I have re introduced high dose fish oil back in to my self care regime. I still haven’t started on magnesium, mainly due to the fact that the one I prefer is only available through IHerb and I have put off ordering due to the added cost of shipping. What price is  health though 😜

 

I would say that on average over the last month most days  have been good. My mood is definitely better than it was. Of course the bad days are always awful and knock me off my perch quickly. 

 

I had had bad news recently and heard of the passing of an old friend through suicide. Apparently she had taken many drugs and would always  go cold turkey. Then things would get bad and she would seek help again and a new drug was introduced. My friend’s husband lost count of how many medications she had been on. Eventually she became suicidal. It was an uphill battle keeping her from self harm. Sadly she managed to achieve what she wanted and passed away at the tender age of 49. Another victim of pharmaceutical drugs and ignorant doctors 😢 My biggest regret is that I lost contact with her and was unable to support her in her time of need, 

 

Anyway, life is travelling along and I am doing  quite well. Thanks for listening 🙏

 

 

 

Current...Drug free since September 2018

December 2007 30mg Lexapro and a benzodiazepine December 2008 25mg, December 2009 20mg, December 2010 15mg Lexapro, December 2011 10mg Lexapro. Long hold as I felt happy with the dose and saw no need at the time to reduce further. September 2015 dropped to 5mg. Terrible anxiety started two months later. June 2016 dropped to 3mg and terrible obsessive thoughts and anxiety so ten days later I reinstated back to 5mg. October 2016 dropped to 4mg. April 2017 dropped to 3mg. September 2017 dropped to 2mg. Terrible obsessive thoughts. Anxiety through the roof. OCD.  September 2018 quit cold turkey 2mg Lexapro. March 2019 feeling better than I have in years. 

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  • 3 weeks later...
Thelongestroadhome

The Happiness Trap by Doctor Ross Harris, my latest read. Complete turnaround from previous book recommendations I have listed here. In fact, I kind of wish I could erase about two pages of this thread where I loudly proclaimed the wonders of self help gurus like Joe Dispenza 😜 It isn’t that what he says is wrong, it’s just not totally right either. That kind of positive self talk where one stamps on any negative thought and replaces it with a positive one WORKS......FOR A BRIEF TIME! 

 

The problem that I, and probably many others, have with positive self talk is that it can become hard work. It demands constant maintenance. Those damn negative thoughts don’t let up!  It reminds me of my time in the mega faith movement of charismatic prosperity style church Where  God is a Father Christmas character who rewards you with Good things as long as your faith remains pumped up. It doesn’t work! I have been there and done that and all it left me with was a negative image of God. 

 

I like this new book much more because it is in line with Claire Weeks teaching. You can’t fight the thoughts but you can learn to live with them. Irritating background noise but you just get on with your life. Joe Dispenza would kick me out of his class for saying that 😜

 

So life goes on. Some good days some bad. Some days I think I should go back on meds ( as if that helped) but mostly I am coping without the mind altering drugs. If I am honest I have struggled with anxiety for years. Lexapro changed my life, it lessened the depression but caused countless other problems, excessive alcohol consumption, shopping addiction, massive weight gain....the list goes on. 

 

I apologise to those who read my earlier post and thought I was some kind of self righteous nutcase. I probably made people feel uncomfortable and doubting their own ability to heal. I truly am sorry for that. I’m just human. I am still learning what works and what doesn’t 🙏❤️

Current...Drug free since September 2018

December 2007 30mg Lexapro and a benzodiazepine December 2008 25mg, December 2009 20mg, December 2010 15mg Lexapro, December 2011 10mg Lexapro. Long hold as I felt happy with the dose and saw no need at the time to reduce further. September 2015 dropped to 5mg. Terrible anxiety started two months later. June 2016 dropped to 3mg and terrible obsessive thoughts and anxiety so ten days later I reinstated back to 5mg. October 2016 dropped to 4mg. April 2017 dropped to 3mg. September 2017 dropped to 2mg. Terrible obsessive thoughts. Anxiety through the roof. OCD.  September 2018 quit cold turkey 2mg Lexapro. March 2019 feeling better than I have in years. 

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Hi longestroadhome,

 

I'm very sorry to hear about your friend.  That is so sad.  It happens so often, and I feel as if I'm living in a parallel universe now that I know the truth.  I'm glad that you discovered the issue was drugs before your life went in the same direction 

 

Thanks for the book recommendation.  The religious stuff is complicated.  Each person has to navigate alone it seems.  I'm sure you have done the best you could at each turn in the road.

 

Rosetta

https://www.survivingantidepressants.org/topic/16629-rosetta-ct-may-2011-too-fast-taper-feb-2017/?page=25

2001-2011 Celexa 10 mg raised to 40 mg then 60 mg over this time period

May 2011 OB Doctor's Cold switch Celexa 60 mg to 10 mg Zoloft sertraline (baby born)

2012-2016 - Doctors raised dose of Zoloft up to 150 mg

2016 - Xanax prescribed - as needed - 0.5 mg about every 3 days (bad reaction)

2016 - Stopped Xanax

Late 2016- Began (too fast) taper of Zoloft

Early 2017 - Trazodone prescribed for bedtime (doseage unknown)

Feb 2017 - Completed taper/stopped Trazodone

Drug free since Feb 2017

2017 - Unisom otc very rarely for sleep

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  • Altostrata changed the title to ☼ Thelongestroadhome: long road back with Lexapro
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