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☼ Thelongestroadhome: long road back with Lexapro


Thelongestroadhome

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9 hours ago, Longestroadhome said:

The problem that I, and probably many others, have with positive self talk is that it can become hard work. It demands constant maintenance. 

 

 

 

Exactly why I don't like affirmations. For me there's a paradoxical effect, ie who ya trying to convince? 🤣 I feel like the underlying message is that "negative" thoughts are so powerful, so unsafe, that they can't be allowed. That only increases their power in my opinion. I prefer mindful compassion as a strategy.

 

Sorry for the loss of your friend. Very sad. 

 

So happy you're doing well overall!

Now: 150 mg Zoloft am since 2004, 50 mg Trazodone bedtime.  Daily drug burden decreased from 2050 mg to 200 mg 🐢🐢

🌞 Feb 28, 2021 0 mg Gapapentin 🌞 yaaaaaaaaaaaaaassssssss!!!

2021 Gaba each dose 4x/day: Feb 27 7 mg (one dose only), Feb 10, 7 mg, Jan 14 10 mg 2020 Current taper schedule from Aug 30-present: drop 8 mg every 2-3 weeks. Aug 20 31 mg, Aug 18, 33 mg, July 29, 35 mg, July 23 38 mg, July 22 40 mg Jun 24 42 mg, Jun 15 44 mg, Jun 9 48 mg, May 22 50 mg, May 14 54 mg, May 7 56 mg, Apr 16 58 mg, Mar 28 60 mg, Mar 18 62 mg. Feb 26 64 mg. Feb 19, 66 mg. Jan 23, 70 mg.

2019 Dec 19, 72 mg. Nov 14 ,76 mg. Aug 8, 80 mg. Aug 6, 85 mg. Jul 26, 90 mg. Jul 11, 95 mg.

Jul 16 trazodone from 100 to 50 mg.

Jun 17-July 10 Slowly changed gab fr pill to liquid at same dose 100 mg 4x/d.

Apr 24 Stopped klon!!! 🌞 Apr 4  Decreased gaba to 400 mg (100 mg 4x/day)-Apr 4, 2019   0.25 klon March 11  Klonopin .5 mg twice daily, varied dose til Apr 15. Started Klon fast taper 25%, short use

Mar 16, 450 mg gaba 3x/day cut 600 mg--not exact!--updose after learning w/d

Feb 20, 2019 1800 mg gabapentin; MD taper; off 3 days=mvt disorder & autonomic instability. July 2018 temazepam 15 mg 1-2; prn several x/wk til Jan/Feb 2019 when cold turkey, flu illness for months

July 2018 started gabapentin 100 3x/day; titrated up to 1800 mg (600 3x/day)

Buspar, I forget how much, 2 pills a day Jan 2017-July 2018 cold turkey

*I speak from my experience. Nothing I say is medical advice. I'm not a doctor.

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I have had two weeks of normality. No anxiety, no depression, no insomnia. It has been lovely. I am back to my base line now, just background anxiety and a tendency to fall in to a low mood if Not car

Wow, it is December already! A whole year has passed without lexapro in my body. I made it. 2019 was a good year for me.    I am feeling well. There have been a few waves but the windows are mo

https://www.audible.com.au/pd/Living-Without-Stress-or-Fear-Audiobook/B00FGA60D0   The link to the Audible version of the book... for @jozeff

Thelongestroadhome
18 hours ago, ShiningLight said:

 

Exactly why I don't like affirmations. For me there's a paradoxical effect, ie who ya trying to convince? 🤣 I feel like the underlying message is that "negative" thoughts are so powerful, so unsafe, that they can't be allowed. That only increases their power in my opinion. I prefer mindful compassion as a strategy.

 

Sorry for the loss of your friend. Very sad. 

 

So happy you're doing well overall!

Thank you Shininglight, sometimes I feel like I am talking to myself so always nice to hear from a real life person 😜

 

Perhaps I was too tough on Joe Dispenza yesterday. In reflection his teaching DID help me. For a long time I flourished on his programme. It is just hard work trying to live that way ALL the time. 

 

Like ShiningLight said above, the negative thoughts are not allowed! It is a constant battle trying to push them away.  I read earlier in The Happiness Trap that studies have shown that by resisting the negative thoughts they have a tendency to come back with more intensity at a later time. That makes sense, my son has Tourette’s and when he tries to control his Tics it tends to have a rebound effect. 

 

Anyway, felt bad about bagging Joe Dispenza and thought I would come back and write this. He did help me initially and I am very thankful for that. I had a fair few months where I felt great following his teaching. I would be interested to hear from anyone who has had long term success with it. Genuinely interested in any feedback. 

Current...Drug free since September 2018

December 2007 30mg Lexapro and a benzodiazepine December 2008 25mg, December 2009 20mg, December 2010 15mg Lexapro, December 2011 10mg Lexapro. Long hold as I felt happy with the dose and saw no need at the time to reduce further. September 2015 dropped to 5mg. Terrible anxiety started two months later. June 2016 dropped to 3mg and terrible obsessive thoughts and anxiety so ten days later I reinstated back to 5mg. October 2016 dropped to 4mg. April 2017 dropped to 3mg. September 2017 dropped to 2mg. Terrible obsessive thoughts. Anxiety through the roof. OCD.  September 2018 quit cold turkey 2mg Lexapro. March 2019 feeling better than I have in years. 

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Thelongestroadhome
18 hours ago, Rosetta said:

Hi longestroadhome,

 

I'm very sorry to hear about your friend.  That is so sad.  It happens so often, and I feel as if I'm living in a parallel universe now that I know the truth.  I'm glad that you discovered the issue was drugs before your life went in the same direction 

 

Thanks for the book recommendation.  The religious stuff is complicated.  Each person has to navigate alone it seems.  I'm sure you have done the best you could at each turn in the road.

 

Rosetta

Thank you Rosetta, nearly missed your post as it was on the page before this one! 

Yes, the news of my friend upset me tremendously and I have to work hard not to dwell too much on it. I struggled with my faith for a long time. I searched for answers for many years, dabbled in a bit of Buddhism before finally entering the Catholic Church two years ago. Never in my life did I think I would end up a Catholic! But the tradition, the focus on silent ( contemplation) prayer drew me in. I am at peace with God again and to be honest I don’t think he cares where we go as long as he is welcome 🙏 

Current...Drug free since September 2018

December 2007 30mg Lexapro and a benzodiazepine December 2008 25mg, December 2009 20mg, December 2010 15mg Lexapro, December 2011 10mg Lexapro. Long hold as I felt happy with the dose and saw no need at the time to reduce further. September 2015 dropped to 5mg. Terrible anxiety started two months later. June 2016 dropped to 3mg and terrible obsessive thoughts and anxiety so ten days later I reinstated back to 5mg. October 2016 dropped to 4mg. April 2017 dropped to 3mg. September 2017 dropped to 2mg. Terrible obsessive thoughts. Anxiety through the roof. OCD.  September 2018 quit cold turkey 2mg Lexapro. March 2019 feeling better than I have in years. 

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  • 2 weeks later...

Thank you for your updates LRH, I was looking for some hope as this psychotic type terror keeps rearing it’s ugly head in my withdrawal. And when your in it, it feels like its never going to get better. 

 

Seems you are doing better since your early days of withdrawals? 

 

*Currently at 3.3mg off my 10mg pill of Paxil (they actually weigh 12.5mg) so I’m around 7.4 mg 

*No other supplements or vitamins 

*Taper schedule in the pdf 

Blank.pdf

 

https://docs.google.com/document/d/1-5vShtJtwAOGA30OxIP87steLmMdFzD29F0fzAPD564

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Thelongestroadhome
On 9/26/2019 at 2:30 PM, Vonnegutjunky said:

Thank you for your updates LRH, I was looking for some hope as this psychotic type terror keeps rearing it’s ugly head in my withdrawal. And when your in it, it feels like its never going to get better. 

 

Seems you are doing better since your early days of withdrawals? 

Sorry for the late reply, I have been enjoying a lovely window since my last post and when that is the case I seldom think of this site😜

 

Yes, in the midst of a wave the fear and anxiety can be dreadful. One minute feels like a day. I have to remind myself that it DOES PASS. Not only does it pass but there seems ( to me) that often once the wave end it brings about a new higher baseline mood. Perhaps this is the pattern of recovery. Hopefully the waves lesson and the windows increase. 

 

Its always interesting to analyse what may  bring about a window. I have been regularly taking high dose fish, perhaps that has helped. Or could it be placebo. Or just the pattern of recovery. 

 

I am coming up to twelve months since quitting lexapro. I rejoice in that! I spent eleven years on that medication, eleven years I can never get back. But no good looking back, it is what it is. We can’t argue with reality 😜 I am very thankful to be drug free. Today I got my recent blood test results and am grateful that my type two Diabetes is well under control. My triglycerides are down to a normal level, the first time in ten years and I wonder if coming off lexapro has helped or if my low carb diet is working. I have said before but I gained a whopping 25kg on lexapro in just twelve months. 

 

I also will be celebrating three years sober the same month. I turned to alcohol shortly after starting lexapro. I became dependent on its calming qualities each evening. I quickly became a heavy wine drinker. The addiction was powerful and I spent many years trying to quit. Alcohol withdrawal is also a real thing and I allowed myself two years of sobriety before coming off lexapro. I don’t think I could have done both at the same time. Learning to cope with stress without a crutch has been a whole new experience for me! 

 

 

Current...Drug free since September 2018

December 2007 30mg Lexapro and a benzodiazepine December 2008 25mg, December 2009 20mg, December 2010 15mg Lexapro, December 2011 10mg Lexapro. Long hold as I felt happy with the dose and saw no need at the time to reduce further. September 2015 dropped to 5mg. Terrible anxiety started two months later. June 2016 dropped to 3mg and terrible obsessive thoughts and anxiety so ten days later I reinstated back to 5mg. October 2016 dropped to 4mg. April 2017 dropped to 3mg. September 2017 dropped to 2mg. Terrible obsessive thoughts. Anxiety through the roof. OCD.  September 2018 quit cold turkey 2mg Lexapro. March 2019 feeling better than I have in years. 

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  • 3 weeks later...
Thelongestroadhome

I’ve enjoyed a pretty decent window. Sadly it ended quite abruptly. Out of the blue, last night, I woke in the early hours of the morning with high cortisol and an overwhelming sense of terror. It came completely out of the blue. It was like a completely random bunch of thoughts vying for my attention. I could barely comprehend what was happening. There was nothing that was overly concerning me and I struggled to make sense of the fear. I managed to return to sleep but woke around 5.00  a.m in a very low mood. 
 

I have spent the day on high alert anticipating danger at any moment. It is the most strange feeling and I have never experienced anything quite like it. What on earth is my brain doing? Re calibrating I guess!  That is what I tell myself anyway. Convince myself that healing is taking place. 
 

I ran out of fish oil last week and never replaced them. I’m kicking myself now for being so apathetic when it comes to self care. It could be coincidence but my mood definitely peaked after starting a high dose regime. I will be prioritising them tomorrow when I go shopping. It helps me to think along the lines of doing something to potentially help. 
 

All I know is that this healing journey has been interesting. I’ve experienced some wonderful times of recovery when the world seemed so much brighter than it had in years. Then days like today when I feel like a scared little girl. I know it is withdrawal. I know it will pass. It’s just crap when it’s like this. 

Current...Drug free since September 2018

December 2007 30mg Lexapro and a benzodiazepine December 2008 25mg, December 2009 20mg, December 2010 15mg Lexapro, December 2011 10mg Lexapro. Long hold as I felt happy with the dose and saw no need at the time to reduce further. September 2015 dropped to 5mg. Terrible anxiety started two months later. June 2016 dropped to 3mg and terrible obsessive thoughts and anxiety so ten days later I reinstated back to 5mg. October 2016 dropped to 4mg. April 2017 dropped to 3mg. September 2017 dropped to 2mg. Terrible obsessive thoughts. Anxiety through the roof. OCD.  September 2018 quit cold turkey 2mg Lexapro. March 2019 feeling better than I have in years. 

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  • Moderator

Hi longestroadhome 

 

I'm so sorry you're having a rough time. 

In the mean time, i've read your thread and you have so huge improvments! I Feel so happy everytime I read that someone is drug free 🤗

 

You know it Will pass, and be sure you have all my support during this wave!❤

2006 : 20mg Paroxetine + Bromazepam(no specific dose) 2008 : cold turkey of both

2010 : 20mg Deroxat + Bromazepam

2013: Switch from Bromazepam To Prazepam

2014-June2017 : Prazepam taper

2018 to August 2019 : Paroxetine 20mg taper (3% every 15 days).

- 22nd August updosed To 10mg (was at 8.4mg)

25th Sept 2019 To April 2020 : found SA, holding at 10mg Paroxetine. 

April 2020 : Paxil to Prozac bridge. Details topic/21457-

 

Current Supplements : magnesium citrate/ fish oil/ evening primrose oil 

 

Current medication :  7mg Fluoxetine (since 20 Aug 2020)

+ 1mg Diazepam (since 29 Aug 2020)

(Toothpick Paroxetine from September 2020 to 17th March 2021)

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Thelongestroadhome
7 hours ago, Erell said:

Hi longestroadhome 

 

I'm so sorry you're having a rough time. 

In the mean time, i've read your thread and you have so huge improvments! I Feel so happy everytime I read that someone is drug free 🤗

 

You know it Will pass, and be sure you have all my support during this wave!❤

Thank you so much for your sweet words. I am encouraged by them 🙏❤️

Current...Drug free since September 2018

December 2007 30mg Lexapro and a benzodiazepine December 2008 25mg, December 2009 20mg, December 2010 15mg Lexapro, December 2011 10mg Lexapro. Long hold as I felt happy with the dose and saw no need at the time to reduce further. September 2015 dropped to 5mg. Terrible anxiety started two months later. June 2016 dropped to 3mg and terrible obsessive thoughts and anxiety so ten days later I reinstated back to 5mg. October 2016 dropped to 4mg. April 2017 dropped to 3mg. September 2017 dropped to 2mg. Terrible obsessive thoughts. Anxiety through the roof. OCD.  September 2018 quit cold turkey 2mg Lexapro. March 2019 feeling better than I have in years. 

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Thelongestroadhome

I have woken this morning and feel back to normal. No high cortisol, no panic. What was that all about? I can’t even blame that time of month because I have been in menopause for two years now 🤪 I am just thankful that whatever it was it is gone. Perhaps just a quick 24hr maintenance service on my brain 😜

 

Today I am starting the first of what will probably be regular fast. I follow the plant paradox but listened to Dr Gundry interview Valter Longo, author of The longevity diet’. He is an expert on fasting for health. He recommends a five day mimicking fast diet once a month if suffering from an autoimmune illness, type two Diabetes or obesity. Well I fit in to two of those categories 🥴 His company sell a pre packaged food box for the five days ( cause it’s 800 calories per day of certain carb fat protein ratio) but I am going to eat my own food. There is a lady on YouTube by the name of GenX who has done this a number of times and has worked out the food ratio. I am going to copy her recipes.Well that’s if you can call soup and salad a recipe! The results that Valter Longo has seen in studies is very exciting and I hope to reverse my Diabetes by following his ideas. After the five days I will go back to my plant paradox Mediterranean style way of eating. He recommends three fasting periods  in a row taken every month then taking blood test. After that perhaps only two or three per year alongside a healthy diet. We shall see. The things I do to get well 😂

Current...Drug free since September 2018

December 2007 30mg Lexapro and a benzodiazepine December 2008 25mg, December 2009 20mg, December 2010 15mg Lexapro, December 2011 10mg Lexapro. Long hold as I felt happy with the dose and saw no need at the time to reduce further. September 2015 dropped to 5mg. Terrible anxiety started two months later. June 2016 dropped to 3mg and terrible obsessive thoughts and anxiety so ten days later I reinstated back to 5mg. October 2016 dropped to 4mg. April 2017 dropped to 3mg. September 2017 dropped to 2mg. Terrible obsessive thoughts. Anxiety through the roof. OCD.  September 2018 quit cold turkey 2mg Lexapro. March 2019 feeling better than I have in years. 

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  • 1 month later...
Thelongestroadhome

Wow, it is December already! A whole year has passed without lexapro in my body. I made it. 2019 was a good year for me. 
 

I am feeling well. There have been a few waves but the windows are more prevalent.Anxiety is something in the background, it is there but it doesn’t take over my life. 
 

So much has changed this year. I am not the woman that I was. I have changed physically, weight has fallen off in places I never thought it would. I am happier, joyful. Yes, I have bad days but on the whole I am in a good place. My marriage, that was in tatters for so long, is being restored. My husband told me that he lost his wife for eleven years but she has come back to him. It is like falling in love all over again. I can’t believe the change that antidepressants made to me, both physically with excessive weight gain and emotionally. 
 

I am not angry about what happened to me. I can’t go back and change it! In some ways I am grateful because the experience helped shape me. It has made me stronger. I used to accept everything at face value but I am much more sceptical now, especially in regards to my health. Fear sells. I will leave it at that! 
 

I pray that everyone here who may read this thread will come away with hope. Hope is everything. Don’t be in a rush to come off your meds. Better to be stable and coping than to rush off them too quickly and suffer. Enjoy the journey as best you can. Live life to the best of your ability whilst going through withdrawal. Be kind to yourself. Self care is not a luxury it is a necessity. Take that hot bubble bath, treat yourself to a massage, buy that expensive super food!  You really are worth it. 🙏❤️
 

 

Current...Drug free since September 2018

December 2007 30mg Lexapro and a benzodiazepine December 2008 25mg, December 2009 20mg, December 2010 15mg Lexapro, December 2011 10mg Lexapro. Long hold as I felt happy with the dose and saw no need at the time to reduce further. September 2015 dropped to 5mg. Terrible anxiety started two months later. June 2016 dropped to 3mg and terrible obsessive thoughts and anxiety so ten days later I reinstated back to 5mg. October 2016 dropped to 4mg. April 2017 dropped to 3mg. September 2017 dropped to 2mg. Terrible obsessive thoughts. Anxiety through the roof. OCD.  September 2018 quit cold turkey 2mg Lexapro. March 2019 feeling better than I have in years. 

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  • 2 weeks later...
Thelongestroadhome

One thing that I forgot to add. From going on Antidepressants I strangely lost the ability to read books. This was very weird for me as I was previously an avid reader. Obviously I could still read but I was unable to follow a storyline on page. I would read the words but they did not connect in my brain. Eventually I just gave up. This week,  almost twelve years to the day, I picked up my first novel and binge read it in 36 hrs! I can’t tell you the pleasure that brought me. 
Has anyone else experienced this? I have not heard of anyone else but I guess that is the story of Antidepressants and their varying affects on us. 

Current...Drug free since September 2018

December 2007 30mg Lexapro and a benzodiazepine December 2008 25mg, December 2009 20mg, December 2010 15mg Lexapro, December 2011 10mg Lexapro. Long hold as I felt happy with the dose and saw no need at the time to reduce further. September 2015 dropped to 5mg. Terrible anxiety started two months later. June 2016 dropped to 3mg and terrible obsessive thoughts and anxiety so ten days later I reinstated back to 5mg. October 2016 dropped to 4mg. April 2017 dropped to 3mg. September 2017 dropped to 2mg. Terrible obsessive thoughts. Anxiety through the roof. OCD.  September 2018 quit cold turkey 2mg Lexapro. March 2019 feeling better than I have in years. 

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  • Moderator

Thank you for this awesome hope you give to us all ❤️

2006 : 20mg Paroxetine + Bromazepam(no specific dose) 2008 : cold turkey of both

2010 : 20mg Deroxat + Bromazepam

2013: Switch from Bromazepam To Prazepam

2014-June2017 : Prazepam taper

2018 to August 2019 : Paroxetine 20mg taper (3% every 15 days).

- 22nd August updosed To 10mg (was at 8.4mg)

25th Sept 2019 To April 2020 : found SA, holding at 10mg Paroxetine. 

April 2020 : Paxil to Prozac bridge. Details topic/21457-

 

Current Supplements : magnesium citrate/ fish oil/ evening primrose oil 

 

Current medication :  7mg Fluoxetine (since 20 Aug 2020)

+ 1mg Diazepam (since 29 Aug 2020)

(Toothpick Paroxetine from September 2020 to 17th March 2021)

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  • 4 weeks later...
Thelongestroadhome
On 12/15/2019 at 7:53 PM, Erell said:

Thank you for this awesome hope you give to us all ❤️

Thank You. I hope you are doing well. 

Current...Drug free since September 2018

December 2007 30mg Lexapro and a benzodiazepine December 2008 25mg, December 2009 20mg, December 2010 15mg Lexapro, December 2011 10mg Lexapro. Long hold as I felt happy with the dose and saw no need at the time to reduce further. September 2015 dropped to 5mg. Terrible anxiety started two months later. June 2016 dropped to 3mg and terrible obsessive thoughts and anxiety so ten days later I reinstated back to 5mg. October 2016 dropped to 4mg. April 2017 dropped to 3mg. September 2017 dropped to 2mg. Terrible obsessive thoughts. Anxiety through the roof. OCD.  September 2018 quit cold turkey 2mg Lexapro. March 2019 feeling better than I have in years. 

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Thelongestroadhome

Life continues to go well. I am dealing with various life issues right now, an elderly father deteriorating with Alzheimer’s, a family fallout among other issues, but such is life. Life was never meant to be an easy ride. I like what Eckhart Tolle says, ‘It’s not the situation that is causing the problem but your thoughts about it’. And another, ‘It is what it is, you can’t argue with reality’ that was a big one for me. I always argued with reality, ‘ if only this never happened.....it shouldn’t be this way’. What is life all about? I believe it’s a training ground! A refining process. We go through stuff and we learn and grow. I haven’t heard many older people say they wish they were 20 again ( aches and pains may make us think that) because we can look back and see the growth from where we were to where we are now. Yet there are many young people wiser than some of the older folks I have met. Carl Jung talks about the two seasons of life and I love that. Bless you all, may your healing continue 🙏❤️

Current...Drug free since September 2018

December 2007 30mg Lexapro and a benzodiazepine December 2008 25mg, December 2009 20mg, December 2010 15mg Lexapro, December 2011 10mg Lexapro. Long hold as I felt happy with the dose and saw no need at the time to reduce further. September 2015 dropped to 5mg. Terrible anxiety started two months later. June 2016 dropped to 3mg and terrible obsessive thoughts and anxiety so ten days later I reinstated back to 5mg. October 2016 dropped to 4mg. April 2017 dropped to 3mg. September 2017 dropped to 2mg. Terrible obsessive thoughts. Anxiety through the roof. OCD.  September 2018 quit cold turkey 2mg Lexapro. March 2019 feeling better than I have in years. 

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Thelongestroadhome

Thought I would elaborate on Carl Jung and his four stages of life descriptions. I said two but it is actually four. Father Richard Rohr talks about two but borrows from Carl Jung’s theory.

1. The Athlete Stage.

At this stage, we are mostly preoccupied with our looks, with the way our body looks. During this stage, we might stay for hours looking and admiring our reflection in the mirror. Our body, our looks are the most important thing to us, nothing else.

 

2. The Warrior Stage.

During this period, this stage, our main concern is to go out there and conquer the world, to do our best, be the best and get the very best, to do what warriors do, and act like warriors act. This is a stage when we continually think of ways to get more than everybody else, a stage of comparison, of defeating those around so we can feel better because we have achieved more as the result of us being the warriors, the brave ones.

3. The Statement Stage. 

At this time, this stage in your life, you realize what you have achieved so far is not enough for you to feel fulfilled, to be happy… you are now looking for ways to make a difference in the world, for ways to serve those around you. You are now preoccupied with ways to start giving. You now realize what you chased after until now, money, power, possessions etc. will keep on appearing in your life but you no longer attribute them the same value as before, you no longer are attached to those things because you are now in a different stage of your life, where you know there is more to life than that.

You receive them, you accept them and you are grateful, but you are ready to let go of them at any time. You are looking for ways to stop thinking only about yourself, of ways to receive and start focusing on living a life of service. All you want to do at this stage is give. You now know that giving is receiving and it is time for you to stop being selfish, egotistical and self-centered and think of ways to help those in need, to leave this world better than it was when you arrived.

 

4. The Stage of the Spirit. 

According to Jung, this will be the last stage of our life, a stage where we realize that none of those 3 stages are really who and what we are. We realize we are more than our body, we are more than our possessions, more than our friends, our country and so on. We come to the realization that we are divine beings, spiritual beings having a human experience, and not human beings having a spiritual experience. We now know this is not our home, and we are not what we thought we are.

We are in this world but not of it.

 

We are now able to observe ourselves from a different perspective. We are now capable of stepping out of our own mind, out of our own body and understand who we really are, to see things the way they are. We become the observer of our lives. We realize that we are not that which we notice but, the observer of what we notice.

More than 2500 years ago, Lao Tzu was trying to teach us just that, was trying to teach us how to get to this last stage of life, this spiritual stage:

“Can you step back from your own mind and thus understand all things? Giving birth and nourishing, having without possessing, acting with no expectations, leading and not trying to control: this is the supreme virtue.”

 

Current...Drug free since September 2018

December 2007 30mg Lexapro and a benzodiazepine December 2008 25mg, December 2009 20mg, December 2010 15mg Lexapro, December 2011 10mg Lexapro. Long hold as I felt happy with the dose and saw no need at the time to reduce further. September 2015 dropped to 5mg. Terrible anxiety started two months later. June 2016 dropped to 3mg and terrible obsessive thoughts and anxiety so ten days later I reinstated back to 5mg. October 2016 dropped to 4mg. April 2017 dropped to 3mg. September 2017 dropped to 2mg. Terrible obsessive thoughts. Anxiety through the roof. OCD.  September 2018 quit cold turkey 2mg Lexapro. March 2019 feeling better than I have in years. 

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Hi, LRH,

 

My husband says the same thing.  He’s happy to have me back.  It still shocks him when he sees me smile.  It still makes him feel scared when I have a bad moment.  Poor guy.  He’s been through a lot.  

 

I’m glad you read a novel!! I’m curious — would you like to share? @Longestroadhome

 

Rosetta

https://www.survivingantidepressants.org/topic/16629-rosetta-ct-may-2011-too-fast-taper-feb-2017/?page=25

2001-2011 Celexa 10 mg raised to 40 mg then 60 mg over this time period

May 2011 OB Doctor's Cold switch Celexa 60 mg to 10 mg Zoloft sertraline (baby born)

2012-2016 - Doctors raised dose of Zoloft up to 150 mg

2016 - Xanax prescribed - as needed - 0.5 mg about every 3 days (bad reaction)

2016 - Stopped Xanax

Late 2016- Began (too fast) taper of Zoloft

Early 2017 - Trazodone prescribed for bedtime (doseage unknown)

Feb 2017 - Completed taper/stopped Trazodone

Drug free since Feb 2017

2017 - Unisom otc very rarely for sleep

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Thank you Longestroadhome for sharing this excerpt from Carl Jung.   "We are in this world, but not of it".  Wisdom is very sweet.  Peace in the Heart.  We should be joyful of all new experiences.  But having one's nervous system hurt is quite a challenge.  I will try to give my body the best so he can heal it, as no one really know how.

1989  Amitriptyline 25mg

2019  Amitriptyline 2x10mg Jan 

2019  Stopped Amitriptyline Cold Turkey Oct

2019  Reinstatement 25mg on Dec 21 

2019 10mg - 15mg pm on Dec 30

2020 7.5mg am and 15mg pm on Jan 20 

2020  Titration method started Jan 21

2020 Tapered 7.5am started March 21

2020 Stabilized 4mg am and 15mg pm Aug 1st

 

Alternating Colostrum Gold, Zinc, Tonic Water, Vitamin C. Started sleeping almost full week in 10th week of reinstatement.

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I slept this last night.  I tried 2 guided short meditations before going to bed.  I was not very good at following directions but did relax just enough.  And I slept. I like the name you gave yourself:  Longest road home.  Yes, it is indeed.  It was not a road I wanted to take.  Humility is also a long road home.  I wish you a good day, road companion.

1989  Amitriptyline 25mg

2019  Amitriptyline 2x10mg Jan 

2019  Stopped Amitriptyline Cold Turkey Oct

2019  Reinstatement 25mg on Dec 21 

2019 10mg - 15mg pm on Dec 30

2020 7.5mg am and 15mg pm on Jan 20 

2020  Titration method started Jan 21

2020 Tapered 7.5am started March 21

2020 Stabilized 4mg am and 15mg pm Aug 1st

 

Alternating Colostrum Gold, Zinc, Tonic Water, Vitamin C. Started sleeping almost full week in 10th week of reinstatement.

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  • 2 weeks later...
Thelongestroadhome
On 1/21/2020 at 1:30 AM, Rosetta said:

Hi, LRH,

 

My husband says the same thing.  He’s happy to have me back.  It still shocks him when he sees me smile.  It still makes him feel scared when I have a bad moment.  Poor guy.  He’s been through a lot.  

 

I’m glad you read a novel!! I’m curious — would you like to share? @Longestroadhome

 

Rosetta

It wasn’t a fantastic book, but it was great cause I finished it! It was a Christian version of a Mills and Boon, The Masterpiece by Francine Rivers ❤️

Current...Drug free since September 2018

December 2007 30mg Lexapro and a benzodiazepine December 2008 25mg, December 2009 20mg, December 2010 15mg Lexapro, December 2011 10mg Lexapro. Long hold as I felt happy with the dose and saw no need at the time to reduce further. September 2015 dropped to 5mg. Terrible anxiety started two months later. June 2016 dropped to 3mg and terrible obsessive thoughts and anxiety so ten days later I reinstated back to 5mg. October 2016 dropped to 4mg. April 2017 dropped to 3mg. September 2017 dropped to 2mg. Terrible obsessive thoughts. Anxiety through the roof. OCD.  September 2018 quit cold turkey 2mg Lexapro. March 2019 feeling better than I have in years. 

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Thelongestroadhome
On 1/21/2020 at 7:06 PM, Sleepan said:

I slept this last night.  I tried 2 guided short meditations before going to bed.  I was not very good at following directions but did relax just enough.  And I slept. I like the name you gave yourself:  Longest road home.  Yes, it is indeed.  It was not a road I wanted to take.  Humility is also a long road home.  I wish you a good day, road companion.

I am so happy that the guided meditation worked for you. I don’t think that even the experts in meditation ever claim to be good at it but the moments of clarity and peace that do come make us keep going back for more 🙏❤️

Current...Drug free since September 2018

December 2007 30mg Lexapro and a benzodiazepine December 2008 25mg, December 2009 20mg, December 2010 15mg Lexapro, December 2011 10mg Lexapro. Long hold as I felt happy with the dose and saw no need at the time to reduce further. September 2015 dropped to 5mg. Terrible anxiety started two months later. June 2016 dropped to 3mg and terrible obsessive thoughts and anxiety so ten days later I reinstated back to 5mg. October 2016 dropped to 4mg. April 2017 dropped to 3mg. September 2017 dropped to 2mg. Terrible obsessive thoughts. Anxiety through the roof. OCD.  September 2018 quit cold turkey 2mg Lexapro. March 2019 feeling better than I have in years. 

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Thelongestroadhome

I wasn’t going to come here and write this because I am always conscious of how describing difficult days  can be a trigger for some people. But in the essence of being open and honest here goes. 
 

January has been a difficult month. To be honest it always is. There is an emotional slump after the high of December and Christmas. On top of that it is school holidays and there is a sense of responsibility to keep my children amused. I am an older mum and have been doing this parenting thing since I was 20, I am 55 this year! My youngest is 12. Sometimes I just feel tired. I wouldn’t be without my kids but I have little family support and parenting can be tough. I think when school starts back things will slip back in to normal routine and this slump will pass. 
 

My mood is low. Anxiety  is in my face most days. It’s like an annoying background noise. I have had moments of OCD about health....health anxiety. I am trying to manage it with self education. I have listened to Eckhart on YouTube, some Byron Katie. I am keeping busy, trying to distract myself. Working hard at being in the present moment and not allowing my mind to wander off in to ‘the fearful future’ or returning to the difficulties of the past. Wishing I could have a miracle like Eckhart describes in his book, The power of now! I wouldn’t mind sitting on a park bench for the next six months in a state of pure peace. Yet something inside me knows that isn’t my path, that suffering brings growth and it is something that I need to walk through. I’m no Saint but have been through this enough times to know that the end result is ALWAYS beneficial in some way. I’m not putting my hand up for suffering and would rather live a peaceful life thank you very much but this too shall pass. It always does. Funnily enough I’m not looking for quick fixes, I’m not craving alcohol like I did for many years. I think I realised that alcohol is a lousy friend and any reprieve it gave me was short lived and presented more problems. Online shopping was fun but nearly lost my house because of it. Nope, it’s a cup of tea for me or if I really want to be naughty a block of chocolate. 
 

Current...Drug free since September 2018

December 2007 30mg Lexapro and a benzodiazepine December 2008 25mg, December 2009 20mg, December 2010 15mg Lexapro, December 2011 10mg Lexapro. Long hold as I felt happy with the dose and saw no need at the time to reduce further. September 2015 dropped to 5mg. Terrible anxiety started two months later. June 2016 dropped to 3mg and terrible obsessive thoughts and anxiety so ten days later I reinstated back to 5mg. October 2016 dropped to 4mg. April 2017 dropped to 3mg. September 2017 dropped to 2mg. Terrible obsessive thoughts. Anxiety through the roof. OCD.  September 2018 quit cold turkey 2mg Lexapro. March 2019 feeling better than I have in years. 

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On 2/15/2018 at 3:24 PM, Longestroadhome said:

I am a bit of a curious sort of person and part of my ‘healing’ has come from researching stories of some well known celebrities who commuted suicide.

Hi @Longestroadhome How are you doing these days? I know it’s a long time ago that you wrote this but I think the celebrity suffering is the way to get Withdrawal publicised. GPs and Psychiatrist suffering does not seem to be making enough publicity. I wonder if there is a way to find out if there are celebrities going through this or if there are family members of celebrities who have sadly passed, who are making it their mission to expose the truth. I want this whole scandal to be world wide headline news and I have no idea how this can be done. I do think tapping into the celebrity scene may be the way to go. What are your thoughts?

Take care hope you are ok 

 

Kx

 

Lexapro Fast Track/ Cold Turkey

Last dose end Dec 2018 

Tapered 1/2 a daily dose a week (20mg) for  14 weeks, last dose was a 20 mg pill!!  

 3.5 times slower than Psychiatrist recommended, I felt proud of myself!! Little did I know!!!!Got too scared to reinstate because I’d left it too long.

On ADs for 20 years (Prozac approx 10 years/ Pristiq approx 3 years/ Citalipram approx 2 years/. Lexapro a approx  5 years/. Last two years 40mgs Lexapro day.

 

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I was wondering about all the celebrities- especially many in the old grunge scene. Just a quick lookup on Chris Cornell- he had Ativan, among other things in his system.

https://www.usatoday.com/story/life/music/2018/11/01/chris-cornell-family-sues-doctor-over-prescribed-drugs-led-suicide/1848981002/

3/21/19 started Bupropion XL 150 mg

3/21/19 started Risperidone 2mg

7/7/19 start Abilify half dose 5 mg. discontinue Risperidone

7/9/19 full dose Abilify 10 mg

7/29/19 discontinued Abilify due to panicky side effects

8/2/19 Began Latuda 20 mg

8/5/19 discontinued Latuda due to similar side effects 

8/10/19 discontinued Bupropion after realizing it was causing the insomnia

From 8/10/19 no drugs whatsoever

Currently taking vitamin D, E, a probiotic and fish oil. 

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3 hours ago, Katy398 said:

Hi @Longestroadhome How are you doing these days? I know it’s a long time ago that you wrote this but I think the celebrity suffering is the way to get Withdrawal publicised. GPs and Psychiatrist suffering does not seem to be making enough publicity. I wonder if there is a way to find out if there are celebrities going through this or if there are family members of celebrities who have sadly passed, who are making it their mission to expose the truth. I want this whole scandal to be world wide headline news and I have no idea how this can be done. I do think tapping into the celebrity scene may be the way to go. What are your thoughts?

Take care hope you are ok 

 

Kx

That is a great idea about the celebrities.  

1993-2000: Zoloft few months CT, Prozac 1-2 yrs, Ritalin PRN

2002/2003: Wellbutrin,  Paxil 25mg FT, and Xanax PRN CT (all 3 to 6 months), Adderal 40mg, Strattera 40mg

2003- 2016: Effexor XR 75 mg to 150 mg., Strattera (2002-2008)

2017: Effexor XR 225 mg. Gabapentin 300 mg. Elavil 25 mg.

2018: (Sept.) Effexor XR 187.5 mg, Zoloft 10 mg. (OCT.) FT off Gabapentin (NOV.) FT off Elavil (DEC) FT Effexor to 150 mg.

2019: (JAN.) D/C Zoloft, added Viibryd 10mg (FEB) CT Viibryd, (MAR) Prozac bridge, Effexor xr 112.5mg, (Sept.) Effexor XR 112.5 mg + 0.4 mg (1 bead), (Oct.) Effexor XR 112.5mg, (Dec.28) start 10% taper Effexor XR 101.25 mg, 

2020: (Jan. 25) Effexor XR 91 mg., (Feb. 22) Effexor xr 82 mg., (Mar. 21) 75 mg. 

Supplements:  Vitamin D 5000 IU topical, Probiotic 6 billion CFU, Epsom salt bath 1C 2 to 3 X week, California Poppy 2 droppers, various essential oils 

https://www.survivingantidepressants.org/topic/21446-superwoman-effexor-taper/page/8/?tab=comments#comment-475779

 

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13 hours ago, Superwoman said:

That is a great idea about the celebrities

Does anyone know of any celebrities or families of celebrities that we can contact. 

K

 

Lexapro Fast Track/ Cold Turkey

Last dose end Dec 2018 

Tapered 1/2 a daily dose a week (20mg) for  14 weeks, last dose was a 20 mg pill!!  

 3.5 times slower than Psychiatrist recommended, I felt proud of myself!! Little did I know!!!!Got too scared to reinstate because I’d left it too long.

On ADs for 20 years (Prozac approx 10 years/ Pristiq approx 3 years/ Citalipram approx 2 years/. Lexapro a approx  5 years/. Last two years 40mgs Lexapro day.

 

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Thelongestroadhome

Current...Drug free since September 2018

December 2007 30mg Lexapro and a benzodiazepine December 2008 25mg, December 2009 20mg, December 2010 15mg Lexapro, December 2011 10mg Lexapro. Long hold as I felt happy with the dose and saw no need at the time to reduce further. September 2015 dropped to 5mg. Terrible anxiety started two months later. June 2016 dropped to 3mg and terrible obsessive thoughts and anxiety so ten days later I reinstated back to 5mg. October 2016 dropped to 4mg. April 2017 dropped to 3mg. September 2017 dropped to 2mg. Terrible obsessive thoughts. Anxiety through the roof. OCD.  September 2018 quit cold turkey 2mg Lexapro. March 2019 feeling better than I have in years. 

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Thelongestroadhome
20 hours ago, Katy398 said:

Does anyone know of any celebrities or families of celebrities that we can contact. 

K

I forgot to quote you before adding the above link talking about Heath Ledger...brain fog 😜

Current...Drug free since September 2018

December 2007 30mg Lexapro and a benzodiazepine December 2008 25mg, December 2009 20mg, December 2010 15mg Lexapro, December 2011 10mg Lexapro. Long hold as I felt happy with the dose and saw no need at the time to reduce further. September 2015 dropped to 5mg. Terrible anxiety started two months later. June 2016 dropped to 3mg and terrible obsessive thoughts and anxiety so ten days later I reinstated back to 5mg. October 2016 dropped to 4mg. April 2017 dropped to 3mg. September 2017 dropped to 2mg. Terrible obsessive thoughts. Anxiety through the roof. OCD.  September 2018 quit cold turkey 2mg Lexapro. March 2019 feeling better than I have in years. 

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Thelongestroadhome

I have been reading about the personality test, The Enneagram. I did the test and came up as a number six. It is scary how accurate it is. I’m not sure that I like being a number six, I’d much rather be a number one thank you very much, but it helps me understand a lot of things about myself. I wonder just how many of those who have suffered with lifelong anxiety are number six on the Enneagram 🤔 

 

https://theenneagraminbusiness.com/9-types/famous-enneagram-sixes-woody-allen-jennifer-aniston-and-richard-branson/

Current...Drug free since September 2018

December 2007 30mg Lexapro and a benzodiazepine December 2008 25mg, December 2009 20mg, December 2010 15mg Lexapro, December 2011 10mg Lexapro. Long hold as I felt happy with the dose and saw no need at the time to reduce further. September 2015 dropped to 5mg. Terrible anxiety started two months later. June 2016 dropped to 3mg and terrible obsessive thoughts and anxiety so ten days later I reinstated back to 5mg. October 2016 dropped to 4mg. April 2017 dropped to 3mg. September 2017 dropped to 2mg. Terrible obsessive thoughts. Anxiety through the roof. OCD.  September 2018 quit cold turkey 2mg Lexapro. March 2019 feeling better than I have in years. 

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Thelongestroadhome

I have been spending time studying The Enneagram and to be honest, I have found more healing in the information that I have read than any counselling session or medication that I have taken for ‘my depression’. 
 

All my life I have struggled with Anxiety but it wasn’t till after the birth of my youngest that I was diagnosed with ‘clinical depression and anxiety’ and put on medication. Looking back I can clearly see how post birth recovery ( c section and tubal ligation)  tiredness, hormonal levels etc contributed to a formal diagnosis. 
 

I am a six on The Enneagram and FEAR is what drives me. Initially I was upset reading about it but now I feel totally free, Liberated even. There is much written on the subject but the part that I love is reading the tips for self improvement and becoming the best example of your particular type. I loved learning about what triggers my anger and how a 6 usually responds to that....incredibly accurate. How others can talk to a 6 for better communication ( husband took notes!) and best still, how I can relate better to the other types. 
 

My anxiety has lifted from where it was last week and I believe it is directly linked to my thought life and understanding my character better. It may not last but right now it feels good. 
 

Going on meditation did not benefit me, in fact it made me worse. You can’t change someone’s personality through medication!  Being heavily drugged on 30mg lexapro plus a Benzo whilst trying to take care of a newborn was not the answer I needed. Some good sleep, good nutrition, GOOD therapy ( I never got anything remotely good, just people wanting to dig up dirt from my childhood which made me feel worse) would have been much more beneficial. 
 

Withdrawal from these drugs IS real. That is something that even a good thought life can’t take away. I am thankful that I found this place and followed a slow and steady withdrawal. Without that I don’t know where I would be. 
 

As I move on in life I will take these tools with me and continue to work at being the best version of me that I can. 

Current...Drug free since September 2018

December 2007 30mg Lexapro and a benzodiazepine December 2008 25mg, December 2009 20mg, December 2010 15mg Lexapro, December 2011 10mg Lexapro. Long hold as I felt happy with the dose and saw no need at the time to reduce further. September 2015 dropped to 5mg. Terrible anxiety started two months later. June 2016 dropped to 3mg and terrible obsessive thoughts and anxiety so ten days later I reinstated back to 5mg. October 2016 dropped to 4mg. April 2017 dropped to 3mg. September 2017 dropped to 2mg. Terrible obsessive thoughts. Anxiety through the roof. OCD.  September 2018 quit cold turkey 2mg Lexapro. March 2019 feeling better than I have in years. 

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  • Moderator
5 minutes ago, Longestroadhome said:

Being heavily drugged on 30mg lexapro plus a Benzo whilst trying to take care of a newborn was not the answer I needed. Some good sleep, good nutrition, GOOD therapy

Great post, longroadhome.  Thank you.

Gridley Introduction

 

Lexapro 20 mg since 2004.  Begin Brassmonkey Slide Taper Jan. 2017.   

End 2017 year 1 of taper at 9.25mg 

End 2018 year 2 of taper at 4.1mg

End 2019 year 3 of taper at 1.0mg  

Oct. 30, 2020  Jump to zero from 0.025mg.  Current dose: 0.000mg

3 year, 10 month taper is 100% complete.

 

Ativan 1 mg 1986-1991 CT, soon reinstated.  CT 2000. RI 1 mg 2011-2016.  Sept. 2016  0.625mg X 3

Nov.27, 2020, 7-week Ativan-Valium crossover + change to one 18.75mg dose, w/1 month hold.

Feb. 9, 2021, begin 10% every 4 weeks taper.  Current dose as of May 18: 11.7mgai.  Taper is 37.6% complete.

 

Imipramine 75 mg daily since 1986.  Jan. 2016 began every 3-weeks 10% taper, down to 16mgai (44mgpw).  Aug 2016, discovered SA, holding at 16mg.  Taper is 78% complete.  

  

Supplements: omega, vitamins C, E and D3, magnesium glycinate, probiotic, zinc, melatonin .3mg.


I am not a medical professional and this is not medical advice, but simply information based on my own experience, as well as other members who have survived these drugs.

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On 2/6/2020 at 4:19 AM, Katy398 said:

Does anyone know of any celebrities or families of celebrities that we can contact. 

K

Are you on the email correspondence about the activism?

1993-2000: Zoloft few months CT, Prozac 1-2 yrs, Ritalin PRN

2002/2003: Wellbutrin,  Paxil 25mg FT, and Xanax PRN CT (all 3 to 6 months), Adderal 40mg, Strattera 40mg

2003- 2016: Effexor XR 75 mg to 150 mg., Strattera (2002-2008)

2017: Effexor XR 225 mg. Gabapentin 300 mg. Elavil 25 mg.

2018: (Sept.) Effexor XR 187.5 mg, Zoloft 10 mg. (OCT.) FT off Gabapentin (NOV.) FT off Elavil (DEC) FT Effexor to 150 mg.

2019: (JAN.) D/C Zoloft, added Viibryd 10mg (FEB) CT Viibryd, (MAR) Prozac bridge, Effexor xr 112.5mg, (Sept.) Effexor XR 112.5 mg + 0.4 mg (1 bead), (Oct.) Effexor XR 112.5mg, (Dec.28) start 10% taper Effexor XR 101.25 mg, 

2020: (Jan. 25) Effexor XR 91 mg., (Feb. 22) Effexor xr 82 mg., (Mar. 21) 75 mg. 

Supplements:  Vitamin D 5000 IU topical, Probiotic 6 billion CFU, Epsom salt bath 1C 2 to 3 X week, California Poppy 2 droppers, various essential oils 

https://www.survivingantidepressants.org/topic/21446-superwoman-effexor-taper/page/8/?tab=comments#comment-475779

 

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Thelongestroadhome
On 2/10/2020 at 6:31 AM, Gridley said:

Great post, longroadhome.  Thank you.

👍🏻

Current...Drug free since September 2018

December 2007 30mg Lexapro and a benzodiazepine December 2008 25mg, December 2009 20mg, December 2010 15mg Lexapro, December 2011 10mg Lexapro. Long hold as I felt happy with the dose and saw no need at the time to reduce further. September 2015 dropped to 5mg. Terrible anxiety started two months later. June 2016 dropped to 3mg and terrible obsessive thoughts and anxiety so ten days later I reinstated back to 5mg. October 2016 dropped to 4mg. April 2017 dropped to 3mg. September 2017 dropped to 2mg. Terrible obsessive thoughts. Anxiety through the roof. OCD.  September 2018 quit cold turkey 2mg Lexapro. March 2019 feeling better than I have in years. 

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Thelongestroadhome

I’ve read more on The Enneagram. It isn’t just 6 that struggles with anxiety. All personality types are vulnerable and they all have triggers. It is good to understand what the triggers are.

 

I read something about type 6. They are vulnerable to PTSD....not Post traumatic stress disorder but PRE traumatic stress disorder 😂😂😂 Yep, guilty as charged. I go straight to the worst case scenario! It made me giggle reading that. 

Current...Drug free since September 2018

December 2007 30mg Lexapro and a benzodiazepine December 2008 25mg, December 2009 20mg, December 2010 15mg Lexapro, December 2011 10mg Lexapro. Long hold as I felt happy with the dose and saw no need at the time to reduce further. September 2015 dropped to 5mg. Terrible anxiety started two months later. June 2016 dropped to 3mg and terrible obsessive thoughts and anxiety so ten days later I reinstated back to 5mg. October 2016 dropped to 4mg. April 2017 dropped to 3mg. September 2017 dropped to 2mg. Terrible obsessive thoughts. Anxiety through the roof. OCD.  September 2018 quit cold turkey 2mg Lexapro. March 2019 feeling better than I have in years. 

Link to post
On 2/11/2020 at 12:17 AM, Superwoman said:

Are you on the email correspondence about the activism?

If so I can send the information I found there.  If not, do you want to be on the email correspondence?

1993-2000: Zoloft few months CT, Prozac 1-2 yrs, Ritalin PRN

2002/2003: Wellbutrin,  Paxil 25mg FT, and Xanax PRN CT (all 3 to 6 months), Adderal 40mg, Strattera 40mg

2003- 2016: Effexor XR 75 mg to 150 mg., Strattera (2002-2008)

2017: Effexor XR 225 mg. Gabapentin 300 mg. Elavil 25 mg.

2018: (Sept.) Effexor XR 187.5 mg, Zoloft 10 mg. (OCT.) FT off Gabapentin (NOV.) FT off Elavil (DEC) FT Effexor to 150 mg.

2019: (JAN.) D/C Zoloft, added Viibryd 10mg (FEB) CT Viibryd, (MAR) Prozac bridge, Effexor xr 112.5mg, (Sept.) Effexor XR 112.5 mg + 0.4 mg (1 bead), (Oct.) Effexor XR 112.5mg, (Dec.28) start 10% taper Effexor XR 101.25 mg, 

2020: (Jan. 25) Effexor XR 91 mg., (Feb. 22) Effexor xr 82 mg., (Mar. 21) 75 mg. 

Supplements:  Vitamin D 5000 IU topical, Probiotic 6 billion CFU, Epsom salt bath 1C 2 to 3 X week, California Poppy 2 droppers, various essential oils 

https://www.survivingantidepressants.org/topic/21446-superwoman-effexor-taper/page/8/?tab=comments#comment-475779

 

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  • 3 weeks later...
Thelongestroadhome

They talk about waves and windows. We all want windows, no one  wants the waves. I like to think that even waves can be good. Just like a surfer whose passion is the sea, who rides the highest waves with skill and gently glides in to shore. It isn’t a skill he learned overnight, it has taken years. I like to believe that I too can learn to ride the waves of life. Turn my fear in to courage. To reach the shore and shout out to anyone who wants to listen ‘ I DID IT’.  You have to hang around other surfers though, people who will encourage you and teach you the necessary moves. You won’t learn to surf by hanging around the sunbathers on the beach. 

 

 

Current...Drug free since September 2018

December 2007 30mg Lexapro and a benzodiazepine December 2008 25mg, December 2009 20mg, December 2010 15mg Lexapro, December 2011 10mg Lexapro. Long hold as I felt happy with the dose and saw no need at the time to reduce further. September 2015 dropped to 5mg. Terrible anxiety started two months later. June 2016 dropped to 3mg and terrible obsessive thoughts and anxiety so ten days later I reinstated back to 5mg. October 2016 dropped to 4mg. April 2017 dropped to 3mg. September 2017 dropped to 2mg. Terrible obsessive thoughts. Anxiety through the roof. OCD.  September 2018 quit cold turkey 2mg Lexapro. March 2019 feeling better than I have in years. 

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  • 2 months later...
Thelongestroadhome

Just popping in with an update. It’s getting close to two years drug free! I never thought I’d get to say that. Hang in there and keep plodding on because it will happen 🙏

 

symptom wise I am continuing to do well. The odd day here and there where my mood dips but on the whole I am very stable and content. 
 

I have experienced bouts of insomnia the past month. Not convinced it is a withdrawal symptoms this late in the game but it does seem strange. I’ve always been such a good sleeper up until now. At least every other night I am wide awake at 2 in the morning.... very annoying. 
 

 

Current...Drug free since September 2018

December 2007 30mg Lexapro and a benzodiazepine December 2008 25mg, December 2009 20mg, December 2010 15mg Lexapro, December 2011 10mg Lexapro. Long hold as I felt happy with the dose and saw no need at the time to reduce further. September 2015 dropped to 5mg. Terrible anxiety started two months later. June 2016 dropped to 3mg and terrible obsessive thoughts and anxiety so ten days later I reinstated back to 5mg. October 2016 dropped to 4mg. April 2017 dropped to 3mg. September 2017 dropped to 2mg. Terrible obsessive thoughts. Anxiety through the roof. OCD.  September 2018 quit cold turkey 2mg Lexapro. March 2019 feeling better than I have in years. 

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  • Altostrata changed the title to ☼ Thelongestroadhome: long road back with Lexapro
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