Justin332: Paxil withdrawal - scared and need advice

[Altostrata]

On 1/22/2018 at 3:46 PM, Justin332 said:

valium as needed (have taken 5 mg last four days due to updosing)

 

What do you mean, "due to updosing"? Updosing what? Why does this call for Valium?

 

On 1/22/2018 at 3:46 PM, Justin332 said:

been getting pretty consistent headaches in the afternoon. And the general doom and gloom feeling (especially in morning upon waking up) but also feel good many moments of day.

 

When did the headaches start? What time do you get them? How long do they last?

 

You need to note the time and dose of any "as needed" as well.

 

On 1/22/2018 at 3:46 PM, Justin332 said:

The psychiatrist said that that trintellix works on the same receptors as Paxil.

 

You can get withdrawal symptoms even if you're taking another antidepressant. They are not entirely interchangeable.

 

Justin, what I want to see is your drug schedule interleaved with notations about your symptoms, if any. Time of day on the left, notation on the right.

 

 

[Justin332]

On 1/25/2018 at 10:55 PM, Altostrata said:

 

What do you mean, "due to updosing"? Updosing what? Why does this call for Valium?

 

 

When did the headaches start? What time do you get them? How long do they last?

 

You need to note the time and dose of any "as needed" as well.

 

 

You can get withdrawal symptoms even if you're taking another antidepressant. They are not entirely interchangeable.

 

Justin, what I want to see is your drug schedule interleaved with notations about your symptoms, if any. Time of day on the left, notation on the right.

 

 

Hey altostrata and everyone else. 

 

Yesterday was the the worst day of my life. I had my company meeting for the previous five days and every night drinking was involved. I had to give a speech for winning sales rep of the year and i drank to take the edge off. It worked. I gave an amazing speech. 

 

I got to miami to hang out with friends yesterday and had overwhelming dark thought and anxiety. The worst moments of my life. I am now with my parents in Florida, avoiding going home. 

 

Its been 29 days since i reinstated Paxil at 10mg. I still feel some side effects of increased anxiety about an hour after taking it. The doctor says it will fade and it’s the effects of reinstatement. 

 

I know im laying the price bigtime with the drinking but i just want to be better. 

 

I still take Valium as needed. (5-10mg day). Trazodone to sleep 50-100mg, and 10mg Paxil in the morning.  

 

Any feedback would be more more than appreciated. I am at rock bottom right now. 

[Justin332]

I’d also like to add that sometimes the anxiety is so bad thst i just want to escape. It’s so strong. 

 

I have never felt anything like this. 

[Touchtheclouds87]

Justin, consider going back up to 20mg, maybe even 30mg.

 

I know its not ideal but I had to do it and was back on for 1 year.

Then I tapered from 50mg to 0 over 6 months and it was much easier (I was switched to lithium and then switched to a low dose of lamotrigine)

Coming off lithium was a breeze compared to paxil

 

29 days back on paxil? That tells me the 10mg will kick in over the next week or two and that will take the edge of. I've been there pal, absolutely horrendous, you be OK shortly

[Altostrata]

Justin, not sure what we can do for you.

 

You know that drinking alcohol can be a problem when your nervous system is vulnerable from withdrawal. The fallout from drinking is going to make it difficult to distinguish between symptoms caused by withdrawal and symptoms caused by adding alcohol.

 

I've asked you many times not to vary your drug schedule, yet

 

5 hours ago, Justin332 said:

I still take Valium as needed. (5-10mg day). Trazodone to sleep 50-100mg, and 10mg Paxil in the morning.  

 

You're taking irregular amounts of Valium and trazodone.

 

You appear to be in the habit of self-medicating. This got you into trouble in the first place. You're going to have to decide whether you want to sort out your drugs and minimize them or keep looking for a drug fix. We cannot help you with the later.

 

For example, Valium and gabapentin rebound can cause anxiety. Can we determine this in your case? We cannot, because 1) irregular dosing; 2) drinking alcohol; 3) lack of complete daily notes (also requested multiple times).

 

Thank you for joining us, Touchtheclouds. Increasing Paxil may or may not be warranted for Justin. Increasing sometimes causes worse problems.

 

Justin is not taking Paxil for depression, he is taking it for withdrawal syndrome.

[Justin332]

1 minute ago, Altostrata said:

Justin, not sure what we can do for you.

 

You know that drinking alcohol can be a problem when your nervous system is vulnerable from withdrawal. The fallout from drinking is going to make it difficult to distinguish between symptoms caused by withdrawal and symptoms caused by adding alcohol.

 

I've asked you many times not to vary your drug schedule, yet

 

 

You're taking irregular amounts of Valium and trazodone.

 

You appear to be in the habit of self-medicating. This got you into trouble in the first place. You're going to have to decide whether you want to sort out your drugs and minimize them or keep looking for a drug fix. We cannot help you with the later.

 

For example, Valium and gabapentin rebound can cause anxiety. Can we determine this in your case? We cannot, because 1) irregular dosing; 2) drinking alcohol; 3) lack of complete daily notes (also requested multiple times).

 

Thank you for joining us, Touchtheclouds. Increasing Paxil may or may not be warranted for Justin. Increasing sometimes causes worse problems.

 

Justin is not taking Paxil for depression, he is taking it for withdrawal syndrome.

I’m taking irregular amounts of Valium because i don’t want to take the most every day. I want to take whatever i need To get by, that’s directed by the psychiatrist. 

 

I am only taking valium and Paxil at this point. I guess i need to update my signature but i am having trouble focusing on anything and i was at company meetings the past five days. 

 

I hust want want to be happy and like myself again. 

[Justin332]

Altostrata, i can tell you the past five days i have had alcohol, on days with alcohol very little Valium. 

 

Trazodone every night. 50-100 mg 

 

paxil has been consistent at 10mg. I feel a wave of anxiety about an hour after i take paxil daily. 

[Altostrata]

I think you can probably figure this out, Justin.

 

Some of that anxiety may be a side effect of the Valium. It happens when the amount of Valium in your bloodstream declines. It is called rebound anxiety.

 

If you are taking a larger amount of Valium, rebound anxiety might occur later. If you are taking a lesser amount of Valium, it may appear earlier.

 

Your psychiatrist may be ignorant of this very common, recognized side effect of benzodiazapine use, or may be unconcerned about getting you off drugs with as little wear and tear as possible. Your psychiatrist may be one that doesn't "believe" in withdrawal syndrome.

 

If you insist on taking your drugs irregularly, refuse to keep notes about your symptoms and drug schedule, and drink occasionally, we can't do anything for you here to help you manage or reduce your symptoms. You are making your own problems.

[Justin332]

9 minutes ago, Altostrata said:

I think you can probably figure this out, Justin.

 

Some of that anxiety may be a side effect of the Valium. It happens when the amount of Valium in your bloodstream declines. It is called rebound anxiety.

 

If you are taking a larger amount of Valium, rebound anxiety might occur later. If you are taking a lesser amount of Valium, it may appear earlier.

 

Your psychiatrist may be ignorant of this very common, recognized side effect of benzodiazapine use, or may be unconcerned about getting you off drugs with as little wear and tear as possible. Your psychiatrist may be one that doesn't "believe" in withdrawal syndrome.

 

If you insist on taking your drugs irregularly, refuse to keep notes about your symptoms and drug schedule, and drink occasionally, we can't do anything for you here to help you manage or reduce your symptoms. You are making your own problems.

So should i take the same amount of Valium every day?

[Altostrata]

What exactly have you been taking for the last week?

 

You're not going to be able to get around keeping daily notes.

[Justin332]

8 minutes ago, Altostrata said:

What exactly have you been taking for the last week?

 

You're not going to be able to get around keeping daily notes.

So the past week, medication wise, I’ve taken 10mg Paxil in morning (body reacts with anxiety and sometimes dark thoughts about an hour after)

 

50mg trazodone to sleep

 

valium 

 

first two days no Valium 

days 3-5 5mg

day 6 (really bad day yesterday with dark thoughts) 15 mg per doctors orders

today 5mg and feel good right now. 

 

Days 1-5 involved drinking at a work function. I won a big award and drank to feel better. 

[Altostrata]

I need to know the times of day you took Valium and did everything else, and when you get surges of anxiety or other symptoms.

 

It seems to me I've explained this several times. From experience, I will not support people who refuse to keep daily notes.

[RachelSusan]

Hello Justin,

 

First off, I am sorry you are caught in this drug mess and are feeling so terrible. I hope you are able to get a handle on it and stabilize quickly. For me the worst part was the beginning when I didn't really understand what was going on.

 

I do want to encourage you to be aware of everything you ingest into your body.  It might save you from a world of hurt. I just looked up two of you medications in "Drug Interactions Checker" on the internet. I've posted what I found below.  Do you ever use this service?  It's free. I would look up anything that is prescribed to me, even non prescription over the counter medications.  I'm not telling you to take something, or not take it. It's just good to know what is going into your body, and better to know prior to putting it into your body.

 

I also wanted to add that all the mods here are volunteers and they are donating their time to us. If they ask for something it's to try and help you, no other reason.  Also there are so many of us that are hurting and so few of them that they may ask for the information in a certain way. For example, always keep your signature updated so they can see right away what you are taking without scrolling through your entire thread, it saves a lot of time.

 

Then of course a few of us non-mods often offer an opinion.  It's nothing more than that,  an opinion, and it's meant with kindness and to be a support. You will often get various opinions sometimes different than one another, that's where free will and choice come in. Good luck on your journey. I hope for you a fast recovery from your suffering.

 

Rachel

Drug Interaction Report

Drug interactions for the following 2 drug(s):

My Interactions List (Unsaved) Email | Print | Save | Create new list
trazodone
Paxil (paroxetine)

• Consumer
• Professional

Interactions between your selected drugs

Major

trazodone and paroxetine

Applies to: trazodone, Paxil (paroxetine)

Using traZODone together with PARoxetine can increase the risk of a rare but serious condition called the serotonin syndrome, which may include symptoms such as confusion, hallucination, seizure, extreme changes in blood pressure, increased heart rate, fever, excessive sweating, shivering or shaking, blurred vision, muscle spasm or stiffness, tremor, incoordination, stomach cramp, nausea, vomiting, and diarrhea. Severe cases may result in coma and even death. You should seek immediate medical attention if you experience these symptoms while taking the medications. Talk to your doctor if you have any questions or concerns. Your doctor may already be aware of the risks, but has determined that this is the best course of treatment for you and has taken appropriate precautions and is monitoring you closely for any potential complications. It is important to tell your doctor about all other medications you use, including vitamins and herbs. Do not stop using any medications without first talking to your doctor.

[SkyBlue]

Justin, I'd like to follow this thread but with the link in your signature it is hard to read. It looks like part of a quoted message. Can you change this to text (not photo) so it is easier to read?

 

This is the part I'm talking about:

 

[Justin332]

14 hours ago, Altostrata said:

I need to know the times of day you took Valium and did everything else, and when you get surges of anxiety or other symptoms.

 

It seems to me I've explained this several times. From experience, I will not support people who refuse to keep daily notes.

I will do that for you from now on. I apologize if it feels like I’ve wasted your time. I know your time is very valuable. I was st this company meeting and my time was extremely limited. I had to give a speech in front of many people, i had to interview for promotion opportunities. All of this led me to drink. Not an excuse. 

 

Anyways, yesterday i did the following:

 

5mg of Valium at 9am

10mg of Paxil around 10am

50mg trazodone at bedtime. 

 

I felt anxious all morning and a majority of the afternoon. That deep, obsessive anxiety that feels physical and is accompanied by negative thoughts. The Valium helped but adding the Paxil intensified these feelings.  Felt totally normal last night and had a good time with friends. 

 

Today, i woke up after ten hours of sleep, and felt great. I took 10mg of Paxil around 10am and as of the last thirty minutes I’ve been having that nervous, negative thoughts feeling. I feel ok and it’s manageable, but certainly not ideal. 

 

Today is definitely better than yesterday. 

[Justin332]

2 hours ago, SkyBlue said:

Justin, I'd like to follow this thread but with the link in your signature it is hard to read. It looks like part of a quoted message. Can you change this to text (not photo) so it is easier to read?

 

This is the part I'm talking about:

 

Done. Sorry about that. 

[Rosetta]

Hi Justin,

 

I wanted to say congrats on getting through your speech and the conference so well.  I'm happy to hear that you feel your speech went well.  I'm sorry you had to drink, but you seem to have weathered a difficult experience.  That's something to be proud of yourself for enduring.

 

I stopped drinking almost completely.  Every so often I have a glass of wine to see if it affects me, but I never have a second, and I don't have the delicious cocktails I used to enjoy.  It's not worth the risk.  

 

If drinking is important to your job, I feel you should consider changing that job.  Sales in one company can be very much like sales in another.  There are stressful sales jobs and less stressful sales jobs.  There are companies with a drinking culture and other than are less that way.  Maybe if you get a promotion you can develop some skills that will get you into a less stressful situation, but if you don't, you might want to look into how to transition to a lower stress, less alcohol oriented field while you are a hot commodity.  

 

You must get calls from recruiters all the time.  Maybe you can do some research and try to plan your life for being psych drug free and drinking only if you want to, but not to fit in?  

 

Rosetta

[Justin332]

18 hours ago, Altostrata said:

I need to know the times of day you took Valium and did everything else, and when you get surges of anxiety or other symptoms.

 

It seems to me I've explained this several times. From experience, I will not support people who refuse to keep daily notes.

Is the above an appropriate log? Or should i be doing it somewhere else?

[SkyBlue]

Hi Justin, thanks. It's much easier to read now.   

 

Are you able to work on techniques to cope with the understandable stress you're under? 

There are "non-drug coping techniques" threads on this site and they are good techniques as we endure withdrawal.

 Everybody is different, but many people find benefit from meditation, exercise, mindfulness, etc.

 

It's also good to have a safety plan in place. You mentioned feeling suicidal and also wanting to escape. It would be 

a good idea to have a plan in place for those crisis situations. For example, 741-741 is a 24-hour free crisis line in the U.S.

(I've never mentioned being "suicidal," exactly, just needing to "talk" (text)). This site also has a list of other resources for people to call or 

text in those crisis situations.

 

You asked early on, is this too long being on Paxil, and does it get better? No, it's not too long, and yes, it does get better.

I was on around 17 years when I finally decided to come off. I did it under doctor advice and dangerously fast. Things have 

gotten progressively better, with very predictable windows [improvements] and waves [withdrawal symptoms].

 

You might also want to visit Brassmonkey's thread.

I think he was on for 20 years and came off very gradually and is doing great. 

[Justin332]

1 hour ago, SkyBlue said:

Hi Justin, thanks. It's much easier to read now.   

 

Are you able to work on techniques to cope with the understandable stress you're under? 

There are "non-drug coping techniques" threads on this site and they are good techniques as we endure withdrawal.

 Everybody is different, but many people find benefit from meditation, exercise, mindfulness, etc.

 

It's also good to have a safety plan in place. You mentioned feeling suicidal and also wanting to escape. It would be 

a good idea to have a plan in place for those crisis situations. For example, 741-741 is a 24-hour free crisis line in the U.S.

(I've never mentioned being "suicidal," exactly, just needing to "talk" (text)). This site also has a list of other resources for people to call or 

text in those crisis situations.

 

You asked early on, is this too long being on Paxil, and does it get better? No, it's not too long, and yes, it does get better.

I was on around 17 years when I finally decided to come off. I did it under doctor advice and dangerously fast. Things have 

gotten progressively better, with very predictable windows [improvements] and waves [withdrawal symptoms].

 

You might also want to visit Brassmonkey's thread.

I think he was on for 20 years and came off very gradually and is doing great. 

I was referring to more if it’s too late to get back to normalcy now that I’ve reinstated Paxil. It’s been thirty days. I feel improvement in some areas and others i don’t. 

 

Anyways, the suicidal thing was a quick flash in the pan u doubtlessly from my self inflicted alcohol abuse from work pressure. Won’t happen again. 

[Justin332]

3 hours ago, Rosetta said:

Hi Justin,

 

I wanted to say congrats on getting through your speech and the conference so well.  I'm happy to hear that you feel your speech went well.  I'm sorry you had to drink, but you seem to have weathered a difficult experience.  That's something to be proud of yourself for enduring.

 

I stopped drinking almost completely.  Every so often I have a glass of wine to see if it affects me, but I never have a second, and I don't have the delicious cocktails I used to enjoy.  It's not worth the risk.  

 

If drinking is important to your job, I feel you should consider changing that job.  Sales in one company can be very much like sales in another.  There are stressful sales jobs and less stressful sales jobs.  There are companies with a drinking culture and other than are less that way.  Maybe if you get a promotion you can develop some skills that will get you into a less stressful situation, but if you don't, you might want to look into how to transition to a lower stress, less alcohol oriented field while you are a hot commodity.  

 

You must get calls from recruiters all the time.  Maybe you can do some research and try to plan your life for being psych drug free and drinking only if you want to, but not to fit in?  

 

Rosetta

Hey Rosetta. Thank you for the kind note of concern. I actually won a very prestigious award and am looked at as a leader in my company. That is why i decided to drink bc it took the anxiety I’ve been persistently feeling away. It’s not really the culture and it was only done bc it was an annual meeting. 

 

Im very happy st my company, but am nervous this withdrawal/major depressive episode will keep me from furthering my life and my career. 

[SkyBlue]

ok

 

[Justin332]

On 1/29/2018 at 10:02 PM, Altostrata said:

I need to know the times of day you took Valium and did everything else, and when you get surges of anxiety or other symptoms.

 

It seems to me I've explained this several times. From experience, I will not support people who refuse to keep daily notes.

Yesterday i took Paxil 10mg at 10am

Valium 5mg at 5pm

trazodone 50mg at 10pm. 

 

Yesterday i had a general amxiousness but it wasnt wasn’t in my chest or physical like usual. The anxiety always gets worse after taking Paxil, and my left eye always starts twitching. I have moments of intense fear of doing anything. I will say there are more positive moments each day. 

 

I got a It a small headache so i took the Valium and the headache went away. 

 

Sleep has become pretty easy to get 8 hours, which is a big improvement from a month ago, where 3 hours would have been great. 

 

Inhad a lot of nightmares res last night which is something i always experienced on Paxil. 

 

All thoughts are are greatly appreciated. 

[Justin332]

I haven’t really had any feedback and for some reason today has been brutal. Been thinking about how hopeless things are again with anxiety. 

 

I took paxil 10mg at 9am and that is it for now. I feel awful and can’t concentrate. 

[Rosetta]

You are sleeping.  That's very good.  That's so important for healing.  You will probably feel better later today.  When I feel anxious in the morning I try to remind myself that it may not last all day.  I'm sorry there's nothing anyone can do but suggest you meditate, listen to a guided meditation or count your breaths.  This is a stage that will end.  Try to remember that.  I know it's very hard.

 

Rosetta

[Justin332]

14 minutes ago, Rosetta said:

You are sleeping.  That's very good.  That's so important for healing.  You will probably feel better later today.  When I feel anxious in the morning I try to remind myself that it may not last all day.  I'm sorry there's nothing anyone can do but suggest you meditate, listen to a guided meditation or count your breaths.  This is a stage that will end.  Try to remember that.  I know it's very hard.

 

Rosetta

Thank you. It always helps so much to know I’m not alone. 

 

I think the burning question I’d like an opinion on is the Paxil helping me? Is reinststement working or is it making me worse?  I feel some of the effects of it, and sleep has improved tremendously. 

 

Do I need to be more patient with the 10mg?

[Rosetta]

I don't know much about reinstatement, but it's good if you aren't having a bad reaction.  

[ChessieCat]

5 hours ago, Justin332 said:

Do I need to be more patient with the 10mg?

 

Yes, because you are still recovering from this:

 

On ‎31‎/‎01‎/‎2018 at 11:43 AM, Justin332 said:

That is why i decided to drink

 

 

12 hours ago, Justin332 said:

I got a It a small headache so i took the Valium and the headache went away. 

 

If you are taking Valium occasionally you may be causing rebound anxiety.

[Justin332]

On 1/29/2018 at 6:51 PM, Altostrata said:

What exactly have you been taking for the last week?

 

You're not going to be able to get around keeping daily notes.

Today has been a very rough day. After the last two days having the occasional suicidal thoughts, those have diminished but anxiety has shot through the roof. 

 

8am took Paxil 10mg

8-12pm - slept on the plane. 

12pm- present - have tingling anxiety through chest and limbs, almost burning. 

2pm- took 2.5 mg of Valium. 

3pm - went to pick up my dog at a friend’s, so out of focus i got out of car and forgot to put car in park. Car ran into their fence, doing thousands in damage. 

5pm- took 7.5mg Valium. 

 

Somebody please help me. These last few days have been the worst of my life. Could i still be being punished for drinking at my company meeting?

[ChessieCat]

11 minutes ago, Justin332 said:

Could i still be being punished for drinking at my company meeting?

 

Possibly.  If things worsened after the alcohol, then it is, IMO, most likely.

 

 

Please use dates in your signature, so that we have precise information - thank you.  valium as needed (5mg x 3 last 8 days)

[ChessieCat]

20 hours ago, ChessieCat said:

If you are taking Valium occasionally you may be causing rebound anxiety.

 

[Justin332]

1 hour ago, ChessieCat said:

 

I’ve been taking Valium every day for the past four days. I’m trying to log it as best i can. It’s hard to log Valium bc it changes daily bc it’s prescribed as needed. I really need some guidance here. I have logged what’s happened the past three days above. Should i be logging it somewhere else? Did i do something wrong?

[ihpsdm]

On 1/31/2018 at 3:36 PM, Justin332 said:

Thank you. It always helps so much to know I’m not alone. 

 

I think the burning question I’d like an opinion on is the Paxil helping me? Is reinststement working or is it making me worse?  I feel some of the effects of it, and sleep has improved tremendously. 

 

Do I need to be more patient with the 10mg?

 

Justin,

 

I'm not a moderator here but you mentioned earlier in this thread that 10 mgs is the dosage of Paxil that you had taken for years? If so, please be patient and stick with this amount.

 

Just from reading a number of posts on this site on reinstatement, sometimes it just takes longer for some people to stabilize. Your brain is used to Paxil, however. The people that seemed to really struggle to stabilize were on different SSRIs than the ones they had taken previously.The ones that went back to the SSRI they discontinued appeared to eventually stabilize, but it took time.

 

It sounds like the  past week was pretty atypical. Now that you are back home you can get back into a routine that will allow you to stabilize. This is what your Central Nervous System needs to heal. The fact that you are sleeping is good because that will help you Central Nervous System to heal.

 

You were in the hospital a mere three weeks ago so I do think patience is the key. You can go back in this thread and see that there have been times where you felt good. It's hard to remember those times when you are in a wave, but that shows that you are on the right path to stabilizing.

I'm glad that your speech went well and it says a lot about you that you won such a prestigious award.

[ChessieCat]

The daily log is just a regular post here in your Intro topic.

 

Anything that you have listed in your signature (which shows up below every post) should be dated rather than just saying "last 8 days".

 

Valium is a benzo and if you do some searching on this site and on the internet in general you will find mention that benzos can cause rebound anxiety.

 

[Justin332]

12 hours ago, ihpsdm said:

 

Justin,

 

I'm not a moderator here but you mentioned earlier in this thread that 10 mgs is the dosage of Paxil that you had taken for years? If so, please be patient and stick with this amount.

 

Just from reading a number of posts on this site on reinstatement, sometimes it just takes longer for some people to stabilize. Your brain is used to Paxil, however. The people that seemed to really struggle to stabilize were on different SSRIs than the ones they had taken previously.The ones that went back to the SSRI they discontinued appeared to eventually stabilize, but it took time.

 

It sounds like the  past week was pretty atypical. Now that you are back home you can get back into a routine that will allow you to stabilize. This is what your Central Nervous System needs to heal. The fact that you are sleeping is good because that will help you Central Nervous System to heal.

 

You were in the hospital a mere three weeks ago so I do think patience is the key. You can go back in this thread and see that there have been times where you felt good. It's hard to remember those times when you are in a wave, but that shows that you are on the right path to stabilizing.

I'm glad that your speech went well and it says a lot about you that you won such a prestigious award.

Man, what a kind and encouraging message. Thank you so much. I haven’t had much encouragement lately and this post really made me feel better.  Thank you. 

 

Im sticking with the 10mg, only because of this site. Everyone else wants me to go up. 

[Justin332]

My family and my best friends want me to go to an inpatient wellness center and spend about a mo th recovering from what it is going on. Since I’ve been having such dark thoughts, and after running into a fence yesterday, they think i need to be supervised. 

 

I know that that i won’t kill myself. I know my alcohol binge brought a lot more problems and i haven’t had a drink in six days. Never been a big drinker before this anyways. It just made me feel better. 

 

Does anyone have any any thoughts on the inpatient? What if i get a psych who says I’m bipolar or doesn’t understand withdrawal?

 

i feel like I’m running out of options and patience from my family.