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Rosetta

Rosetta: cold switch May 2011 & too fast taper Feb 2017

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Rosetta
50 minutes ago, Downbutnotout said:

If I were you, I’d feel really encouraged. 

Thanks, D.  Maybe I should.  I do not like feeling so out of control.  Feeling angry is particularly scary for me.  But, I am getting a break from the misery, and I am going to take the risk of doing something outside today.  I always feel the sword of Dabocles there.


https://www.survivingantidepressants.org/topic/16629-rosetta-ct-may-2011-too-fast-taper-feb-2017/?page=25

2001-2011 Celexa 10 mg raised to 40 mg then 60 mg over this time period

May 2011 OB Doctor's Cold switch Celexa 60 mg to 10 mg Zoloft sertraline (baby born)

2012-2016 - Doctors raised dose of Zoloft up to 150 mg

2016 - Xanax prescribed - as needed - 0.5 mg about every 3 days (bad reaction)

2016 - Stopped Xanax

Late 2016- Began (too fast) taper of Zoloft

Early 2017 - Trazodone prescribed for bedtime (doseage unknown)

Feb 2017 - Completed taper/stopped Trazodone

Drug free since Feb 2017

2017 - Unisom otc very rarely for sleep

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Downbutnotout
7 minutes ago, Rosetta said:

Thanks, D.  Maybe I should.  I do not like feeling so out of control.  Feeling angry is particularly scary for me.  But, I am getting a break from the misery, and I am going to take the risk of doing something outside today.  I always feel the sword of Dabocles there.

You’re lucky you’re getting a break from your misery.


 

2001 Remeron , Celexa, prozac a week on lithium. 

2014 went off effexor and trazadone in 3 weeks. 

2014 zoloft (hyper reaction) put on effexor 75 mg. Was stable until 2017 

2017  Trazadone 50 mg (June) Effexor to 113 mg (2 weeks) Effexor 150 mg for a month . Took 75 mg until November. . Lithium 10 days, Lamactil 10 day  aug-nov15 ativan

October : Prozac bridge to get off 75 mg of effexor Used 10 mg of prozac. Stopped prozac 3 wk 

Dec 6, 7 Upped trazadone from 50 to 100 mg Did it for 3 days Stopped it

Dec 7 , Dec 8 Took prozac again 0.1 , 0.1, 0.6 stopped it

Dec 11 and Dec 12 upped it to 100 again

Dec 15 , 16,17 went back to 50 mg of trazadone

December 18 Began 3 beads of effexor  Dec 25 began 5 beads of effexor take 10 mg of omneprazole daily

 

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Kristine
6 hours ago, Rosetta said:

Yesterday I had normal emotions all day, then anger at bedtime, then I awoke with abject fear in the dead of night.  It was as if I were having cortisol awakening in the dark.  I was so anxious I went to my husband for comfort.  Then, after I fell asleep next to him, I had the normal emotions (with a pounding heart) when my daughter's crying woke me up later.  I woke up in the morning feeling normal with no cortisol, no anxiety, no depression, and -- for the first time -- no bruxism nor dystonia.

 

I wish I could find a topic about this matter of emotions very rapidly changing over the course of less than a day.  I want to believe it means something good, but it feels quite scary.

Hey Rosetta,  I just wish I could give you a big hug.  When you feel angry is it linked to thoughts that make you feel angry? Or is it mainly that chemical rage feeling that builds up? I only ask because I suffer from both and find the two very distinct from each other. Since decreasing the Prozac I'm finding many memories are surfacing..stuff that I thought was long buried..stuff that makes me feel very angry.  On the other hand I get this irritability which builds inside me which shifts to angers/rage but it isn't attached to a negative experience or memory..it feels purely chemical.  It is scary.  Being on an emotional roller coaster everyday is scary.  I think what you are experiencing is healing. You are experiencing many purely positive symptom changes as well.  You are going to be okay my friend. Much Love K xo


  • Citalopram 20mg - 40mg ~ approx 2010 - October 2015 (stopped over one week)
  • Parnate  20mg - 50mg and olazapine 5mg ~ Jan 2016 - May 2016 (ceased over 2 days) 
  • Lithium 450mg-900 mg and Thyroxin ~May 2016 - May 2017
  • Diazepam various doses (including PRN) ~ 2015 - 2017
  • Oxazepam various doses (including PRN) ~ May 2016 - June 2016
  • Lurasidone 20mg ~Mid May 2016 - Mid June 2016
  • Vortioxetine 10mg - 20mg ~ 6th June 2016 - 20th July 2016 (abruptly ceased)
  • Amitriptyline 200mg ~July 2016 - September 2016 (ceased over 1 week)
  • Nortriptyline  (dose ?) ~October 2016 ~ November 2016 (abruptly ceased)
  • Seroquel XR 100mg - 300mg ~ May 2016 - August 2017 (ceased over 3 weeks)
  • Escitalopram 10mg - 30mg ~ August 2016 - March 2017 (ceased over 2 weeks)
  • Bupropion 300mg ~ December 2016 - May 2017 (ceased over 1 week)
  • Clonazepam 1.5mg daily ~ July 2016 (started tapering May 2017 - September 2017 currently on 0.375mg..ie 0.125mg TDS) 27th May 2018 5% 0.357mg (possible paradoxical reaction - see benzo thread)  28th June 5% 0.337mg, 28th July 10% 0.303mg, 12th September10% 0.272mg, 18th September reinstated 10% due to intolerable WD 0.303mg, 1st October-11th Oct 10% (1% reduction over 10 days) 0.272mg, 22nd October clonazepam ceased crossed over 10mg diazepam
  •  Dexamphatamine 20mg ~ December 2016 (started tapering October 2017 - tapered 1.25mg 4th Dec 2017, 1.25mg 19th Dec 2017 6.25mg, Speed up decrease due to major interaction between Dex and fluoxetine- ref to thread 10% 17th Feb 2018 5.63mg, 10% 21st Feb 2018 5.1mg, 10% 26th Feb 2018 4.5mg 10% 28th Feb 4.1mg, 10% 1st March 3.7mg, 10% 5th March 3.3mg, 10% 8th March 3mg, 10% 10th March 2.7mg, 10% 12th March 2.4mg, 10% 14th March 2.16mg, 10% 16th March 1.94mg, 10% 18th March 1.74mg, 10% 20th March 1.57mg, 10% 21st March 1.41mg, 10% 22nd March 1.26mg, 10% 23rd March 1.13mg, 10% 24th March 1.01mg, 10% 25th March 0.9mg, 10% 27th March 0.81mg, 10% 29th March 0.73mg, 10% 31st March 0.66mg, 10% 2nd April 0.59mg , 10% 4th April 0.53mg, 10% 6th April 0.47mg, 10% 8th April 0.42mg, 10%10th April 0.37mg, 11th April 0.2mg, 12th April 0.1mg (last dose) OFF! 
  • Fluoxetine 40mg ~December 2016 -.31 Jan 2018 reduced to 20mg (probable serotonin toxicity) 10th March 2020 10mg, 7th April 9mg, 1st May 8.5mg, 15th May 8.0mg, 27th May 7.5mg, 8th Sept 7.2mg 
  • Diazepam 10mg ~ 22nd Oct 2018, 10th November 8mg, 14th Nov 7mg, 8th December 6mg, 30th December 5mg (Nocte), 7th March 2019 4.5mg,14th March 4mg, 5th April 3.5mg, 9th April 3mg, 18th April 2.5mg,1st May 2mg, 17th May 1.75mg, 25th May 1.6mg, 4th June 1.59mg, 5th June 1.58mg, 6th June 1.57mg, 7th June 1.56mg, 8th June 1.55mg, 22nd June 1.4mg, 4th July 1.2mg, 16th July 1mg, 30th July 0.8mg, 13th Aug 0.6mg, 28th Aug 0.4mg, 10th Sept 0.2mg, 23rd Sept Off! 
  • SR Circadin 2mg (melatonin) 25th May - 20th June 
  • Zolpidem 10mg 25th May (7 tablets)
  • Supplements: Magnesium glycinate (soluble - sip throughout the day) 

 

"Whenever you feel yourself doubting how far you can go,  just remember how far you have come.  Remember everything you have faced, all the battles you have won, and all the fears you have overcome"    Unknown 

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Rosetta
7 minutes ago, Kristine said:

 I think what you are experiencing is healing. You are experiencing many purely positive symptom changes as well.  You are going to be okay my friend. Much Love K xo

 

Oh, I hope so!  I think so, too, but I lose faith when I have intense anxiety.   That optimism I felt a few weeks ago has faded for some reason.  I do hope I can get it back.  I'm looking into changing my diet.  It's difficult to find the energy and the focus when I'm having erratic moods, but I think it would help.  I don't think my blood sugar is well regulated.  I'm worried that the meds damaged some part of that system.

 

I threw the cat out in the rain last night, poor thing.  I would not have done that before WD.  She makes my nights miserable.  She claws at the carpet under my door if she's not outside.  If she's in the room, she does not give up until she's under the covers right next to my body heating my world like a little furnace.  Last night, she was making biscuits on my leg and purring loudly.  All things I would have found endearing before the switch to Zoloft.  I wanted to scream.  I think about taking her to a no-kill shelter often.  She's been with over 5 years. This isn't me.  This is the opposite of who I was about 7 years ago.  I am so desperate to be myself again.

 

You are so kind.  With all you are going through my problems are child's play.  Thank you for being supportive.  Your ability to do that is amazing.


https://www.survivingantidepressants.org/topic/16629-rosetta-ct-may-2011-too-fast-taper-feb-2017/?page=25

2001-2011 Celexa 10 mg raised to 40 mg then 60 mg over this time period

May 2011 OB Doctor's Cold switch Celexa 60 mg to 10 mg Zoloft sertraline (baby born)

2012-2016 - Doctors raised dose of Zoloft up to 150 mg

2016 - Xanax prescribed - as needed - 0.5 mg about every 3 days (bad reaction)

2016 - Stopped Xanax

Late 2016- Began (too fast) taper of Zoloft

Early 2017 - Trazodone prescribed for bedtime (doseage unknown)

Feb 2017 - Completed taper/stopped Trazodone

Drug free since Feb 2017

2017 - Unisom otc very rarely for sleep

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DaveB
15 hours ago, Rosetta said:

 

Oh, I hope so!  I think so, too, but I lose faith when I have intense anxiety.   That optimism I felt a few weeks ago has faded for some reason.  I do hope I can get it back.  I'm looking into changing my diet.  It's difficult to find the energy and the focus when I'm having erratic moods, but I think it would help.  I don't think my blood sugar is well regulated.  I'm worried that the meds damaged some part of that system.

 

I threw the cat out in the rain last night, poor thing.  I would not have done that before WD.  She makes my nights miserable.  She claws at the carpet under my door if she's not outside.  If she's in the room, she does not give up until she's under the covers right next to my body heating my world like a little furnace.  Last night, she was making biscuits on my leg and purring loudly.  All things I would have found endearing before the switch to Zoloft.  I wanted to scream.  I think about taking her to a no-kill shelter often.  She's been with over 5 years. This isn't me.  This is the opposite of who I was about 7 years ago.  I am so desperate to be myself again.

 

You are so kind.  With all you are going through my problems are child's play.  Thank you for being supportive.  Your ability to do that is amazing.

 

The intense anxiety is just crazy isn't it. It sucks the hope right ou of you and makes everything turn negative. It is SO hard, but it has improved a lot for you in the last few months correct? I feel like mine is finally improving as well. 


2008 - October 28th, 2016: Zoloft 50 - 150 mgs, settled on 50mgs from 2011 - 2016.
January 23rd - March 1st 2017: Zoloft 50mgs, direct switch to Lexapro.
March 1st - May 1st 2017: Lexapro 10 mgs, down to 5mgs for a week, then off.
June 1st - July 31st 2017: Paxil 20mgs, Lyrica 600mgs
August 1st - September 30th 2017: Paxil 40mgs, Zyprexa 2.5mgs
October 1st  - November 12th 2017: Paxil 60mgs, Zyprexa 2.5mgs
November 12th, 2017 - September 4th 2018: Paxil 40mgs, Zyprexa 2.5mgs 

September 4th - September 27th: Paxil 30mgs, Zyprexa 2.5mgs

September 28th - November 7th: Paxil 20mgs, Zyprexa 2.5mgs (Also Testosterone Therapy started in June 2018 and ended in November 2018)

November 7th 2018 - February 22nd 2019: Paxil 10mgs, Zyprexa 2.5mgs

February 22nd 2019 - April 17th: Zyprexa 2.5mgs, Klonopin 1mgs

April 17th - Now: Zoloft 25mgs, Zyprexa 2.5mgs, Klonopin .5mgs

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RachelSusan

Dave,

 

It's great to hear that you are seeing some improvement.  I think you were suffering the most back in December and perhaps at the beginning of January?  How are you over all compared to that time period?

 

I'm doing ok.  Like I said, it is sort of running in the background of my life, not in the forefront.  I'll be doing a small taper sometime this week. I'll see how that goes.

 

We can do this!!!

 

RS

 

 


Find my story here:  http://survivingantidepressants.org/index.php?/topic/12649-rachelsusan-my-zoloft-story-on-off-reinstated-in-trouble/?hl=rachelsusan

HISTORY

Feb. 2016 to June 2016  - Was on 100mg to 150mg Zoloft. 

Quit Zoloft (Sertraline) June  2016,  reinstated 50mg of Zoloft July 2016.  From July 2016  to October 2016 went from 50 mg down 2.3 mg. I up-dosed in November 2016 to 12.5 mg. Held there until January 2017 when I started a much slower taper.

STARTING SENSIBLE  ZOLOFT TAPERING USING GUIDELINES FROM THIS SITE

Dec. 10 2016  - switched to Liquid Zoloft (Sertraline) @ 12.5 mg.   Jan 19, 2017 reduced to 12.0 mg (4%).   Feb 9 2017 reduced to 11.0 mg (8%). March 1 2017 to 10.0 mg (9 %).  March 21 2017  to 9.5 mg (5%). April 1 2017  to 9.0 mg (5.3%). April 10 2017 to 8.5 mg (5.6%). April 22 2017  8.25 mg (2.9%). April 29 2017  8.0 (3.0%). May 6 2017  7.75 mg (3.1%).  May 14 2017  7.5 mg (3.2%). May 20 2017 to 7.25 mg (3.3%). May 27 2017 reduced to 7.0 mg (3.4%). June 10 2017  to 6.75 mg (3.6%). June 17 2017 to 6.5 mg (3.7%). June 24 2017 6.25 mg (3.8%). July 1 2017 reduced to 6.0 mg. July 8 2017 5.75 mg. July 15 2017 5.5 mg. July 22 2017 5.25 mg.  Aug 5 2017  5.0 mg.  Dec. 9, 2017  4.75 mg (5%).  Feb. 10, 2018 4.50 mg.   March 15, 2018 4.375 mg (2.8% decrease). April 3, 2018 4.25 mg (2.9%). May 14, 2018 4.125% (2.9%). June 16, 2018 4.0 mg (3.0%).  July 21, 2018 3.875mg. August 11, 2018 3.75mg (3.2%). Sept. 12, 2018 3.62mg (3.3%).  Oct. 13, 2018 3.5mg (3.4% decrease). Nov. 29, 2018 3.375mg (3.6% decrease). Jan. 20, 2019 3.25 mgFeb 16, 2019 3.125mg (3.8%). April 7, 2019 3.0mg (4.0%).  May 18, 2019 2.875mg (4.2%). June 22, 2019 2.75mg (4.3%)July 27, 2019 2.62mg (4.5%). August 18, 2019 2.5mg (4.8%). Sept. 14, 2019 2.375mg (5.0%) Oct.19, 2019 2.25mg.  Nov. 16, 2019 2.12mgDec. 7, 2019 2.00mg (5.9%). Jan. 4, 2020 1.875 mg (6.3%). Jan. 25, 2020 1.75 mgFeb. 29, 2020 1.625mg (7.10%).  Apr. 4, 2020 1.5 mg. May 9, 2020 1.375 mg. June 6, 2020 1.25 mg. (9.10%). July 4, 2020 1.125 mg. (10%).  August 15, 2020 1.0 mg.

OTHER MEDICATIONS: Gabapentin - 900 mg since July 2016, Prednisone  5mg.  QVAR Inhalant,  Supplements: Vitamin D, Probiotic, and Fish Oil.

 

 

 

 

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DaveB
19 minutes ago, RachelSusan said:

Dave,

 

It's great to hear that you are seeing some improvement.  I think you were suffering the most back in December and perhaps at the beginning of January?  How are you over all compared to that time period?

 

I'm doing ok.  Like I said, it is sort of running in the background of my life, not in the forefront.  I'll be doing a small taper sometime this week. I'll see how that goes.

 

We can do this!!!

 

RS

 

 

 

I am much better than I was at that time period. When the anxiety hits I find myself doubting the improvement, but it is there and undeniable. I think I may even be slightly better than I was in early to mid December before I mixed up my Paxil with Klonopin and threw this whole thing off. Where you are at is where I am hoping to get, maybe not perfect, but good enough that I can go about my life with this tapering business running in the background. Problem is I would like to taper the Zyprexa 1st, and that looks like a tricky one to taper, but I will figure something out. Don't think I will be looking to taper for another few months at least. 


2008 - October 28th, 2016: Zoloft 50 - 150 mgs, settled on 50mgs from 2011 - 2016.
January 23rd - March 1st 2017: Zoloft 50mgs, direct switch to Lexapro.
March 1st - May 1st 2017: Lexapro 10 mgs, down to 5mgs for a week, then off.
June 1st - July 31st 2017: Paxil 20mgs, Lyrica 600mgs
August 1st - September 30th 2017: Paxil 40mgs, Zyprexa 2.5mgs
October 1st  - November 12th 2017: Paxil 60mgs, Zyprexa 2.5mgs
November 12th, 2017 - September 4th 2018: Paxil 40mgs, Zyprexa 2.5mgs 

September 4th - September 27th: Paxil 30mgs, Zyprexa 2.5mgs

September 28th - November 7th: Paxil 20mgs, Zyprexa 2.5mgs (Also Testosterone Therapy started in June 2018 and ended in November 2018)

November 7th 2018 - February 22nd 2019: Paxil 10mgs, Zyprexa 2.5mgs

February 22nd 2019 - April 17th: Zyprexa 2.5mgs, Klonopin 1mgs

April 17th - Now: Zoloft 25mgs, Zyprexa 2.5mgs, Klonopin .5mgs

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Rosetta
22 hours ago, Kristine said:

 When you feel angry is it linked to thoughts that make you feel angry? Or is it mainly that chemical rage feeling that builds up? I only ask because I suffer from both and find the two very distinct from each other. Since decreasing the Prozac I'm finding many memories are surfacing..stuff that I thought was long buried..stuff that makes me feel very angry.  On the other hand I get this irritability which builds inside me which shifts to angers/rage but it isn't attached to a negative experience or memory..it feels purely chemical.  It is scary. 

 

I think it's the chemical rage that builds up, but it's usually triggered by something - overstimulation mainly or being unable to find something or making a mistake.  It's very upsetting because my daughter does what 6 year olds do -- overstimulates me.  I feel terrible when I get angry, and I direct it away from her, but she knows her behavior preceded it.  


https://www.survivingantidepressants.org/topic/16629-rosetta-ct-may-2011-too-fast-taper-feb-2017/?page=25

2001-2011 Celexa 10 mg raised to 40 mg then 60 mg over this time period

May 2011 OB Doctor's Cold switch Celexa 60 mg to 10 mg Zoloft sertraline (baby born)

2012-2016 - Doctors raised dose of Zoloft up to 150 mg

2016 - Xanax prescribed - as needed - 0.5 mg about every 3 days (bad reaction)

2016 - Stopped Xanax

Late 2016- Began (too fast) taper of Zoloft

Early 2017 - Trazodone prescribed for bedtime (doseage unknown)

Feb 2017 - Completed taper/stopped Trazodone

Drug free since Feb 2017

2017 - Unisom otc very rarely for sleep

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Rosetta
6 hours ago, RachelSusan said:

I'm doing ok.  Like I said, it is sort of running in the background of my life, not in the forefront.  I'll be doing a small taper sometime this week. I'll see how that goes.

 

So amazing.  I hope to feel ok someday.  

 

6 hours ago, DaveB said:

I am much better than I was at that time period. When the anxiety hits I find myself doubting the improvement, but it is there and undeniable.

 

Wonderful!


https://www.survivingantidepressants.org/topic/16629-rosetta-ct-may-2011-too-fast-taper-feb-2017/?page=25

2001-2011 Celexa 10 mg raised to 40 mg then 60 mg over this time period

May 2011 OB Doctor's Cold switch Celexa 60 mg to 10 mg Zoloft sertraline (baby born)

2012-2016 - Doctors raised dose of Zoloft up to 150 mg

2016 - Xanax prescribed - as needed - 0.5 mg about every 3 days (bad reaction)

2016 - Stopped Xanax

Late 2016- Began (too fast) taper of Zoloft

Early 2017 - Trazodone prescribed for bedtime (doseage unknown)

Feb 2017 - Completed taper/stopped Trazodone

Drug free since Feb 2017

2017 - Unisom otc very rarely for sleep

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RealMe
22 hours ago, Rosetta said:

 I don't think my blood sugar is well regulated.  I'm worried that the meds damaged some part of that system.

Hi Rosetta,

Thank you for your hopeful and positive comment on my thread!  How do you know if your blood sugar is well regulated?  Lately I've been eating a little undisciplined.  I haven't done this for over three years, and I think it is prompted by anxiety.  It feels like hunger but it's more like craving.   I think it's more like I was before AD.  If this erratic or compulsive eating was controlled by the ADs, I am going to have to figure out how to deal with this.

xo RM


Alcohol periodic excessive 1963-1976, Valium sporadic 1964-1973,  Imipramine off & on 1982-1985, Fluoxetine 10mg-80 mg. Oct., 1995-Jan., 2014; Cymbalta, other ADs 1/2014-3/2014; Abilify 5 mg. 3/2014 - 8/8/17; Trintellix 20 mg. 3/2014 - 9/2017; Propranolol 60-80 mg. sporadically Sept-Oct, 2017; Seroquel few days Sept 2017 (c/t); Wellbutrin 150 mg. Sept, 2017 updosed to 300 mg. few days till c/t Oct 8, 2017, fish oil, vitD, vitE Oct 16, 2017-pres. Lipoflavonoid 4/2017-pres.  Fluoxetine 10 mg. Sept-Oct 8, 2017, 20 mg. 10/9- 10/15; 10 mg. 10/16 - 12/29;  9 mg. 12/30 - 2/9; 2 mL liquid (8.1mg) 2/10 - 3/7; 1.8 mL (7.29 mg) 3/8 -3/20; 1.6 mL (6.561mg) 3/20-4/2; 1.4 mL (5.9 mg) 4/3-4/14; 1mL (4 mg.) 4/15-4/22; .9mL (3.6mg) 4/23-5/1; .81mL (3.24 mg) 5/2-5/24; .73mL (2.916mg.) 5/25-6/8; .65mL 6/9-6/23; .6mL 6/24-7/17; .58mL 7/18-7/28; .525mL 7/29-8/13; .5 mL 8/14-21; .45mL 8/22-31; .4mL 9/2-21; .35mL 9/22-10/4; .3mL 10/5-28; .25mL 10/28-11/10; .2mL 11/11-11/24; .18mL 11/25-12/3; .1mL 12/4-12/18. Zero-12/19/18-present.

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RachelSusan

Rosetta,

 

First please accept my apologies for posting to Dave on your page.  My apologies. I got confused as to what site I was on. Now that we have that out of the way, I want to say hello to you.  Hi.

 

I am in a good place taper wise, however it is not perfect. It just doesn't have me laying on the bathroom floor sweating for hours at a time, I can indeed function. Yes, I do hope you get there, as well as everybody else on this site. I get nervous every time I taper because I never know what will happen. Please keep your fingers crossed for me because I'm doing a taper this week.

 

Rachel

 

 


Find my story here:  http://survivingantidepressants.org/index.php?/topic/12649-rachelsusan-my-zoloft-story-on-off-reinstated-in-trouble/?hl=rachelsusan

HISTORY

Feb. 2016 to June 2016  - Was on 100mg to 150mg Zoloft. 

Quit Zoloft (Sertraline) June  2016,  reinstated 50mg of Zoloft July 2016.  From July 2016  to October 2016 went from 50 mg down 2.3 mg. I up-dosed in November 2016 to 12.5 mg. Held there until January 2017 when I started a much slower taper.

STARTING SENSIBLE  ZOLOFT TAPERING USING GUIDELINES FROM THIS SITE

Dec. 10 2016  - switched to Liquid Zoloft (Sertraline) @ 12.5 mg.   Jan 19, 2017 reduced to 12.0 mg (4%).   Feb 9 2017 reduced to 11.0 mg (8%). March 1 2017 to 10.0 mg (9 %).  March 21 2017  to 9.5 mg (5%). April 1 2017  to 9.0 mg (5.3%). April 10 2017 to 8.5 mg (5.6%). April 22 2017  8.25 mg (2.9%). April 29 2017  8.0 (3.0%). May 6 2017  7.75 mg (3.1%).  May 14 2017  7.5 mg (3.2%). May 20 2017 to 7.25 mg (3.3%). May 27 2017 reduced to 7.0 mg (3.4%). June 10 2017  to 6.75 mg (3.6%). June 17 2017 to 6.5 mg (3.7%). June 24 2017 6.25 mg (3.8%). July 1 2017 reduced to 6.0 mg. July 8 2017 5.75 mg. July 15 2017 5.5 mg. July 22 2017 5.25 mg.  Aug 5 2017  5.0 mg.  Dec. 9, 2017  4.75 mg (5%).  Feb. 10, 2018 4.50 mg.   March 15, 2018 4.375 mg (2.8% decrease). April 3, 2018 4.25 mg (2.9%). May 14, 2018 4.125% (2.9%). June 16, 2018 4.0 mg (3.0%).  July 21, 2018 3.875mg. August 11, 2018 3.75mg (3.2%). Sept. 12, 2018 3.62mg (3.3%).  Oct. 13, 2018 3.5mg (3.4% decrease). Nov. 29, 2018 3.375mg (3.6% decrease). Jan. 20, 2019 3.25 mgFeb 16, 2019 3.125mg (3.8%). April 7, 2019 3.0mg (4.0%).  May 18, 2019 2.875mg (4.2%). June 22, 2019 2.75mg (4.3%)July 27, 2019 2.62mg (4.5%). August 18, 2019 2.5mg (4.8%). Sept. 14, 2019 2.375mg (5.0%) Oct.19, 2019 2.25mg.  Nov. 16, 2019 2.12mgDec. 7, 2019 2.00mg (5.9%). Jan. 4, 2020 1.875 mg (6.3%). Jan. 25, 2020 1.75 mgFeb. 29, 2020 1.625mg (7.10%).  Apr. 4, 2020 1.5 mg. May 9, 2020 1.375 mg. June 6, 2020 1.25 mg. (9.10%). July 4, 2020 1.125 mg. (10%).  August 15, 2020 1.0 mg.

OTHER MEDICATIONS: Gabapentin - 900 mg since July 2016, Prednisone  5mg.  QVAR Inhalant,  Supplements: Vitamin D, Probiotic, and Fish Oil.

 

 

 

 

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Rosetta

Today has been very hard.  I'm sure that WD makes pain more intense.  I have a cold, I think.   My headache returned last night, and I slept very poorly.  It's a sinus type headache behind and around the eyes and cheeks with pain in the neck and shoulders.  It's spread evenly, symmetrically instead of focused on the right side.  I was somewhat naseous this morning.  I have no fever.  

 

The kiddo went to school late today.  Oh, well.  I couldn't do anything but lie there, and my husband decided not to rush her.  She was an hour late.  

 

I did have a good day yesterday.  I felt normal although fatigued, as usual.  We went to the zoo, and I enjoyed it.  It was almost like having no WD.


https://www.survivingantidepressants.org/topic/16629-rosetta-ct-may-2011-too-fast-taper-feb-2017/?page=25

2001-2011 Celexa 10 mg raised to 40 mg then 60 mg over this time period

May 2011 OB Doctor's Cold switch Celexa 60 mg to 10 mg Zoloft sertraline (baby born)

2012-2016 - Doctors raised dose of Zoloft up to 150 mg

2016 - Xanax prescribed - as needed - 0.5 mg about every 3 days (bad reaction)

2016 - Stopped Xanax

Late 2016- Began (too fast) taper of Zoloft

Early 2017 - Trazodone prescribed for bedtime (doseage unknown)

Feb 2017 - Completed taper/stopped Trazodone

Drug free since Feb 2017

2017 - Unisom otc very rarely for sleep

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Rosetta
12 minutes ago, RachelSusan said:

Please keep your fingers crossed for me because I'm doing a taper this week.

 

No worries about the posting.  Happy to have you visit.  I'll keep everything crossed for you!

 

@RealMe. My appetite is very low frequently and other times I feel extremely hungry.  I have to force myself to eat sometimes.  Of course, I have no energy for preparing food.  Thanks for dropping by.


https://www.survivingantidepressants.org/topic/16629-rosetta-ct-may-2011-too-fast-taper-feb-2017/?page=25

2001-2011 Celexa 10 mg raised to 40 mg then 60 mg over this time period

May 2011 OB Doctor's Cold switch Celexa 60 mg to 10 mg Zoloft sertraline (baby born)

2012-2016 - Doctors raised dose of Zoloft up to 150 mg

2016 - Xanax prescribed - as needed - 0.5 mg about every 3 days (bad reaction)

2016 - Stopped Xanax

Late 2016- Began (too fast) taper of Zoloft

Early 2017 - Trazodone prescribed for bedtime (doseage unknown)

Feb 2017 - Completed taper/stopped Trazodone

Drug free since Feb 2017

2017 - Unisom otc very rarely for sleep

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Rosetta
2 hours ago, Rosetta said:

Today has been very hard.  I'm sure that WD makes pain more intense.  I have a cold, I think.   My headache returned last night, and I slept very poorly.  It's a sinus type headache behind and around the eyes and cheeks with pain in the neck and shoulders.  It's spread evenly, symmetrically instead of focused on the right side.  I was somewhat naseous this morning.  I have no fever.  

 

The kiddo went to school late today.  Oh, well.  I couldn't do anything but lie there, and my husband decided not to rush her.  She was an hour late.  

 

I did have a good day yesterday.  I felt normal although fatigued, as usual.  We went to the zoo, and I enjoyed it.  It was almost like having no WD.

 

A few more notes about today.

 

I forgot to have tea.  I had a cup at about 6:30p.m.  It helped the headache only a little bit.  Overall, I am in quite a bit less pain now than when I woke up this morning.  The headache has moved to the right side again.  My neck muscle was not the focus of the muscle tension until about 7:30 p.m.  Now, the neck muscle tension is more obvious.  

 

There has been very little anxiety today.  I have not felt depression either although I am sad that I can't live a full life.  I have done next to nothing today but feel pain and watch TV.  My daughter played by herself after school and went to gymnastics at 5:00.  She then went to the grocery store with her father.  It's time for bed.  

 

May tomorrow be a better day.

 


https://www.survivingantidepressants.org/topic/16629-rosetta-ct-may-2011-too-fast-taper-feb-2017/?page=25

2001-2011 Celexa 10 mg raised to 40 mg then 60 mg over this time period

May 2011 OB Doctor's Cold switch Celexa 60 mg to 10 mg Zoloft sertraline (baby born)

2012-2016 - Doctors raised dose of Zoloft up to 150 mg

2016 - Xanax prescribed - as needed - 0.5 mg about every 3 days (bad reaction)

2016 - Stopped Xanax

Late 2016- Began (too fast) taper of Zoloft

Early 2017 - Trazodone prescribed for bedtime (doseage unknown)

Feb 2017 - Completed taper/stopped Trazodone

Drug free since Feb 2017

2017 - Unisom otc very rarely for sleep

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Rosetta

This is from Gia K:

 

my page on rethinking depression cut and pasted below...it doesn't deny the feelings that get called that at all...but it demythologizes the rush to pathologize

there is no such thing as a monolithic state called depression
 

People often want to believe that depression has some distinct pathology. It does not. Clinical depression is very much a garbage pail term for feeling sh*tty and that may manifest in a large number of ways and have many different combinations of etiologies.

it

Depression is always a mixture of many things…there is no such thing as a monolithic state called depression…the fact that people imagine that is the case, is a problem.

The biggest reason it’s a problem is because psychiatry did a criminal disservice when it created the myth of the chemical imbalance. At best the chemical imbalance theory is a gross reductionism. At worst, people, having been misguided to take drugs that do nothing towards healing their body/minds. While on occasion some people do find some relief the fact remains that these medications can instead gravely harm people and often do. This fact is largely denied by established psychiatry even though there is a lot of documentation now that establishes it as fact. See: What your MD should tell you about SSRI antidepressants
 

Depression also often contains many different feelings. Using a term like “clinical depression” obfuscates the reality. It can be: despair, loneliness, helplessness, melancholy, pain, anguish, discouragement, misery, sorrow, wretchedness, shame…
 

It can also be experienced as complete and total numbness. No conscious sense of any feeling at all. An internal deadness. The term depression obfuscates and distances in this way.

Call depression what it really is: Despair, loneliness, helplessness, melancholy, pain, anguish, discouragement, misery, sorrow, wretchedness, shame…

The term depression obfuscates and distances…it’s meaningless

William Styron also speculates in that piece that his depression was made far more virulent by the psychiatric drugs he was prescribed for sleep. Benzodiazepines are, indeed, notorious for creating dark hell zones.
 

To actually use descriptive terms makes it real. It makes it human. Depression is a clinical term that does nothing but distance us from the pain of others.
 

Here is a list of a few articles and posts on Beyond Meds that might help one consider what is called depression in different ways, because it is not just one thing. It’s always a combination of many things in the life of every individual who gets the label. This is true of all psych diagnosis, actually.

newer first:

And new posts that have been added:


https://www.survivingantidepressants.org/topic/16629-rosetta-ct-may-2011-too-fast-taper-feb-2017/?page=25

2001-2011 Celexa 10 mg raised to 40 mg then 60 mg over this time period

May 2011 OB Doctor's Cold switch Celexa 60 mg to 10 mg Zoloft sertraline (baby born)

2012-2016 - Doctors raised dose of Zoloft up to 150 mg

2016 - Xanax prescribed - as needed - 0.5 mg about every 3 days (bad reaction)

2016 - Stopped Xanax

Late 2016- Began (too fast) taper of Zoloft

Early 2017 - Trazodone prescribed for bedtime (doseage unknown)

Feb 2017 - Completed taper/stopped Trazodone

Drug free since Feb 2017

2017 - Unisom otc very rarely for sleep

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Rosetta

Why to use magnesium chloride instead of (or in addition to) mag citrate?

See JanCarol's post in this thread:

 


https://www.survivingantidepressants.org/topic/16629-rosetta-ct-may-2011-too-fast-taper-feb-2017/?page=25

2001-2011 Celexa 10 mg raised to 40 mg then 60 mg over this time period

May 2011 OB Doctor's Cold switch Celexa 60 mg to 10 mg Zoloft sertraline (baby born)

2012-2016 - Doctors raised dose of Zoloft up to 150 mg

2016 - Xanax prescribed - as needed - 0.5 mg about every 3 days (bad reaction)

2016 - Stopped Xanax

Late 2016- Began (too fast) taper of Zoloft

Early 2017 - Trazodone prescribed for bedtime (doseage unknown)

Feb 2017 - Completed taper/stopped Trazodone

Drug free since Feb 2017

2017 - Unisom otc very rarely for sleep

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Rosetta

Well, today was another physically painful day, but less painful than yesterday.  When the pain subsided I felt anxiety.  I'm still feeling it.  I'm attaching it to my daughter and how this WD mess is impacting her.  

 

My daughter's report card came out, and she doing fine, but not excelling at anything.  She's a little behind -- below expectations -- in writing -- "using grammar, punctuation, spelling and using adjectives."  She is 6.  She will be 7 soon.  This is first grade.  So, I think my most appropriate emotion should be anger.  Anger that a first grader has a place on her report card for such activities.  Am I becoming anxious to avoid anger, an emotion that I fear?

 

Symptoms:

very poor sleep last night -- pain

no depression during insomnia

no anxiety during insomnia

Woke up in pain - symmetrical pain, no dystonia

 

Did not take daughter to school or pick her up

Rested all day

Lack of appetite

Forced myself to eat

Anxiety in afternoon

Went for walk at about 5:00

 


https://www.survivingantidepressants.org/topic/16629-rosetta-ct-may-2011-too-fast-taper-feb-2017/?page=25

2001-2011 Celexa 10 mg raised to 40 mg then 60 mg over this time period

May 2011 OB Doctor's Cold switch Celexa 60 mg to 10 mg Zoloft sertraline (baby born)

2012-2016 - Doctors raised dose of Zoloft up to 150 mg

2016 - Xanax prescribed - as needed - 0.5 mg about every 3 days (bad reaction)

2016 - Stopped Xanax

Late 2016- Began (too fast) taper of Zoloft

Early 2017 - Trazodone prescribed for bedtime (doseage unknown)

Feb 2017 - Completed taper/stopped Trazodone

Drug free since Feb 2017

2017 - Unisom otc very rarely for sleep

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JanCarol

Hey Rosetta!

 

On 2/10/2018 at 9:50 AM, Rosetta said:

There are a lot of hormonal issues going on with me, I think.  It's hard to imagine this going on for years because I am "of that age."  That worries me.

 

Healthy fats - Omega3's, Medium Chain Triglycerides, are the building blocks of hormones.  Love your nuts, avocados, coconut oils and even healthy meats, and it may help smooth your transitions.

 

On 2/17/2018 at 4:52 PM, Rosetta said:

Sometimes it seems everyone's insane in the U. S.

 

And those of us who don't agree are the ones who are shamed and diagnosed and drugged....1984 and Brave New World had nothing on this!

Even back in the 60's, RD Laing called "mental illness" a healthy reaction to an unhealthy society.

It's really hard to see a way through.

 

I just took a trip to Tasmania, the ends of the ends of the earth.  While I was there, I smelled fresh eucalyptus in the sea breezes, and pine in the deep forest.  Apples were growing by the side of the road, and the roads were lined with blackberry thickets (blackberries are a rarity in Australia, costing $8 for a tiny punnet).  When we got out of the car - "Listen!" - it was silence and birdsong.  Even better was time spent among the trees or by the ocean.

Now that I'm home, I hear the constant hum of electricity, roar of traffic, barking of obnoxious neighbour dogs and the trains rattle through my nervous system like a storm.  Home smells of asphalt and carbon monoxide.  And I live in a green part of Brisbane.  In some ways, I was better off not knowing how noisy and stinky my home is (thanks Tasmania!).

On the plus side - I remember the silence of the birds in Indiana, and the birds here are rowdy, boisterous and quite expressive.  I try to focus on that instead of the dull roar of the "city."  (it's really quite sad, as this city is a small one by American standards, but outdoes itself in traffic and pollution).  And I live in a "village" (suburb, really) North of the City.

Speaking of birds - we recently saw a great film called "The Wild Parrots of Telegraph Hill" about a flock of South and Central American parrots who escaped the pet trade and established a colony in San Francisco!  And about the gentle man who spent a few years getting to know the birds.  It's a True Love Story, and I recommend it to anyone who will listen!

 

* * *

I won't quote it here - the whole piece is so eloquent - but your story of your Daughter's birthday at MIL's house, here is such an in depth, clear thinking, expression of what it is like to experience what you experience.  Thank you so much for letting us in to share this with you.  It is your skill and eloquence in speaking, in communicating, in choosing when and what to communicate - that makes me believe you will be better than ever before when you get through this.

You are already doing this instinctively, but there is a method for improving communications called NVC - Non Violent Communication - which you may like to learn more about.  I only have one link in my toolkit, I hope it's a good one:  http://www.cnvc.org/learn/nvc-foundations  

 

I think the bilingual thing would be confusing, too.  I'm in Australia, and even though they're speaking English, sometimes it feels like a foreign language to me.  Having it be an actual foreign language would be challenging - feeling a bit left out, and not knowing what you are meant to hear and what you are to be responsible for. 

 

I used to have dogs - and they are so eager, so present, so in your face.  I used to tease them, anthropomorphising that they were asking, "Is it the Puppy part yet?"  "NOW? Is it the Puppy part yet?"

When you have the bilingual thing going on, you would either have the stress of asking, "Is it the Rosetta part yet?" constantly - or - let it go.  It's a tough one!

* * *
I'm glad you found all the Claire Weekes resources.  What she did best for me was to separate the physical symptoms that we associate with "anxiety" or "nerves" (as she calls them) from the actual fear and emotion.  I often found that my body "fired" for very little good reason, and I might be able to trace it to a trigger - but that I didn't need to get involved emotionally when my body fired - it was just my body firing.  I, as a rational adult, could observe and see that there was no threat, and then float through the wave of the adrenaline burst.

I hope you see the sun today!  (I'm still not caught up to current!  I told you I was s-l-o-w!)


"Easy, easy - just go easy and you'll finish." - Hawaiian Kapuna

 

Holding is hard work, holding is a blessing. Give your brain time to heal before you try again.

 

My suggestions are not medical advice, you are in charge of your own medical choices.

 

A lifetime of being prescribed antidepressants that caused problems (30 years in total). At age 35 flipped to "bipolar," but was not diagnosed for 5 years. Started my journey in Midwest United States. Crossed the Pacific for love and hope; currently living in Australia.   CT Seroquel 25 mg some time in 2013.   Tapered Reboxetine 4 mg Oct 2013 to Sept 2014 = GONE (3 years on Reboxetine).     Tapered Lithium 900 to 475 MG (alternating with the SNRI) Jan 2014 - Nov 2014, tapered Lithium 475 mg Jan 2015 -  Feb 2016 = GONE (10 years  on Lithium).  Many mistakes in dry cutting dosages were made.


The tedious thread (my intro):  JanCarol ☼ Reboxetine first, then Lithium

The happy thread (my success story):  JanCarol - Undiagnosed  Off all bipolar drugs

My own blog:  https://shamanexplorations.com/shamans-blog/

 

 

I have been psych drug FREE since 1 Feb 2016!

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Rosetta

Feeling better today.  It feels like a window.

 

Not much dystonia in the night

No headache in the night

Not much anxiety during the insomnia time

No depression during the insomnia time

Slept better

No cortisol awakening

Very little anxiety today

No depression

Very little dystonia/muscle tension

Went to pick up my daughter

Appetite is back

Gastrointenstinal issues resolved

 

Thank you, JanCarol.  I did not expect you to read my whole thread!!!  


https://www.survivingantidepressants.org/topic/16629-rosetta-ct-may-2011-too-fast-taper-feb-2017/?page=25

2001-2011 Celexa 10 mg raised to 40 mg then 60 mg over this time period

May 2011 OB Doctor's Cold switch Celexa 60 mg to 10 mg Zoloft sertraline (baby born)

2012-2016 - Doctors raised dose of Zoloft up to 150 mg

2016 - Xanax prescribed - as needed - 0.5 mg about every 3 days (bad reaction)

2016 - Stopped Xanax

Late 2016- Began (too fast) taper of Zoloft

Early 2017 - Trazodone prescribed for bedtime (doseage unknown)

Feb 2017 - Completed taper/stopped Trazodone

Drug free since Feb 2017

2017 - Unisom otc very rarely for sleep

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Kristine
7 minutes ago, Rosetta said:

Feeling better today.  It feels like a window.

:) I'm coming over to your place to wedge that window, so it stays open! Wonderful news Rosetta :wub:


  • Citalopram 20mg - 40mg ~ approx 2010 - October 2015 (stopped over one week)
  • Parnate  20mg - 50mg and olazapine 5mg ~ Jan 2016 - May 2016 (ceased over 2 days) 
  • Lithium 450mg-900 mg and Thyroxin ~May 2016 - May 2017
  • Diazepam various doses (including PRN) ~ 2015 - 2017
  • Oxazepam various doses (including PRN) ~ May 2016 - June 2016
  • Lurasidone 20mg ~Mid May 2016 - Mid June 2016
  • Vortioxetine 10mg - 20mg ~ 6th June 2016 - 20th July 2016 (abruptly ceased)
  • Amitriptyline 200mg ~July 2016 - September 2016 (ceased over 1 week)
  • Nortriptyline  (dose ?) ~October 2016 ~ November 2016 (abruptly ceased)
  • Seroquel XR 100mg - 300mg ~ May 2016 - August 2017 (ceased over 3 weeks)
  • Escitalopram 10mg - 30mg ~ August 2016 - March 2017 (ceased over 2 weeks)
  • Bupropion 300mg ~ December 2016 - May 2017 (ceased over 1 week)
  • Clonazepam 1.5mg daily ~ July 2016 (started tapering May 2017 - September 2017 currently on 0.375mg..ie 0.125mg TDS) 27th May 2018 5% 0.357mg (possible paradoxical reaction - see benzo thread)  28th June 5% 0.337mg, 28th July 10% 0.303mg, 12th September10% 0.272mg, 18th September reinstated 10% due to intolerable WD 0.303mg, 1st October-11th Oct 10% (1% reduction over 10 days) 0.272mg, 22nd October clonazepam ceased crossed over 10mg diazepam
  •  Dexamphatamine 20mg ~ December 2016 (started tapering October 2017 - tapered 1.25mg 4th Dec 2017, 1.25mg 19th Dec 2017 6.25mg, Speed up decrease due to major interaction between Dex and fluoxetine- ref to thread 10% 17th Feb 2018 5.63mg, 10% 21st Feb 2018 5.1mg, 10% 26th Feb 2018 4.5mg 10% 28th Feb 4.1mg, 10% 1st March 3.7mg, 10% 5th March 3.3mg, 10% 8th March 3mg, 10% 10th March 2.7mg, 10% 12th March 2.4mg, 10% 14th March 2.16mg, 10% 16th March 1.94mg, 10% 18th March 1.74mg, 10% 20th March 1.57mg, 10% 21st March 1.41mg, 10% 22nd March 1.26mg, 10% 23rd March 1.13mg, 10% 24th March 1.01mg, 10% 25th March 0.9mg, 10% 27th March 0.81mg, 10% 29th March 0.73mg, 10% 31st March 0.66mg, 10% 2nd April 0.59mg , 10% 4th April 0.53mg, 10% 6th April 0.47mg, 10% 8th April 0.42mg, 10%10th April 0.37mg, 11th April 0.2mg, 12th April 0.1mg (last dose) OFF! 
  • Fluoxetine 40mg ~December 2016 -.31 Jan 2018 reduced to 20mg (probable serotonin toxicity) 10th March 2020 10mg, 7th April 9mg, 1st May 8.5mg, 15th May 8.0mg, 27th May 7.5mg, 8th Sept 7.2mg 
  • Diazepam 10mg ~ 22nd Oct 2018, 10th November 8mg, 14th Nov 7mg, 8th December 6mg, 30th December 5mg (Nocte), 7th March 2019 4.5mg,14th March 4mg, 5th April 3.5mg, 9th April 3mg, 18th April 2.5mg,1st May 2mg, 17th May 1.75mg, 25th May 1.6mg, 4th June 1.59mg, 5th June 1.58mg, 6th June 1.57mg, 7th June 1.56mg, 8th June 1.55mg, 22nd June 1.4mg, 4th July 1.2mg, 16th July 1mg, 30th July 0.8mg, 13th Aug 0.6mg, 28th Aug 0.4mg, 10th Sept 0.2mg, 23rd Sept Off! 
  • SR Circadin 2mg (melatonin) 25th May - 20th June 
  • Zolpidem 10mg 25th May (7 tablets)
  • Supplements: Magnesium glycinate (soluble - sip throughout the day) 

 

"Whenever you feel yourself doubting how far you can go,  just remember how far you have come.  Remember everything you have faced, all the battles you have won, and all the fears you have overcome"    Unknown 

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Rosetta
1 hour ago, Kristine said:

:) I'm coming over to your place to wedge that window, so it stays open! Wonderful news Rosetta :wub:

 Please do.  I'm sure it's about the slam shut right on my fingers!!  Just kidding, but they do seem to close pretty hard.


https://www.survivingantidepressants.org/topic/16629-rosetta-ct-may-2011-too-fast-taper-feb-2017/?page=25

2001-2011 Celexa 10 mg raised to 40 mg then 60 mg over this time period

May 2011 OB Doctor's Cold switch Celexa 60 mg to 10 mg Zoloft sertraline (baby born)

2012-2016 - Doctors raised dose of Zoloft up to 150 mg

2016 - Xanax prescribed - as needed - 0.5 mg about every 3 days (bad reaction)

2016 - Stopped Xanax

Late 2016- Began (too fast) taper of Zoloft

Early 2017 - Trazodone prescribed for bedtime (doseage unknown)

Feb 2017 - Completed taper/stopped Trazodone

Drug free since Feb 2017

2017 - Unisom otc very rarely for sleep

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Dalalea
2 hours ago, Rosetta said:

Feeling better today.  It feels like a window.

Yea! Sure sounds like a window to me!

 


Dalalea's Introduction

Off All SSRI Medications: Effexor 2010 one month
Sertraline 50 mg. but only took 25 mg. daily because of dizziness. 2010 to July 2017

Tapered over 2 months beginning the 1st of June 2017 -- Off Sertraline by July 30, 2017

Current Medication: Losartan (blood pressure), Albuterol (for asthma- only as needed)
Current Symptoms: tinnitus, hearing loss in one ear, allergies

My Plan: Prayer, Scripture, Walk, Yoga, Encourage Others, Healthy Eating
Generic SSRI Withdrawal Symptom and Plan Checklists and Graph.xlsx

Current Supplements: Magnesium Threonate, Fish Oil, probiotic, B-12, C, D-3

Current Essential Oils: Frankincense, Bergamot, Orange, Lemon, Lavender, Peppermint, Clove
Current Essential Oil Blends: Brain Power, Clarity, Stress Away

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wantrelief

This is wonderful news, Rosetta!!


-1/06 - 3/07 Cymbalta. Fast taper; withdrawal symptoms after 4 mos (didn't realize was WD)

-10/07: 100 mg Zoloft; 1 mg Klonopin - tapered off Klonopin
-Tried several times to slowly taper Zoloft by 10%, then 5% every 4-6 weeks; could never get below approx. 40 mg - spring 2012 experienced major WD symptoms due to stress; tried to updose but no relief, back on Klonopin 1 mg.
-Switched over 5-6 mos from Zoloft to Citalopram. Finished Zoloft 1/13; Citalopram 35 mg and 1 mg Klonopin.
-8/13: 27 mg Citalopram; 1 mg Klonopin

-11/14: 12.6 Citalopram - began to have bad withdrawal symptoms; out of desperation increased to 1.25 mg Klonopin at the beginning of December.  12/13/14 16 mg Citalopram - going to stay here to try to stabilize; stabilized on 16 mg Citalopram after 4-5 months

-7/15 - 3/16: reduced to 15 mg; ~ 2 months later w/d hit hard (probably r/t stress); 6/16 updosed to 20 mg Citalopram and trying to stabilize. Updosed to 1.5 Klonopin as well. Stabilized on 20 mg Citalopram after 4-5 months

8/17-9/17: feeling withdrawal symptoms at 20 mg Citalopram (due to stress) - slowly increased to 25 mg. No change in symptoms after 6 months (? tolerance ?)  - decided to start citalopram taper February 2018 (still on Klonopin 1.5 mg).

Supplements: fish oil; magnesium glycinate; vitamin D3; curcumin

Citalopram taper:  2/2018 - 12/2019: 25 mg - 11.03 mg

2020: 1/14/20: 10.89 mg (1.27% drop); 1/22/20: 10.75 mg (1.29% drop); 2/28/20 toe surgery; 4/26/20: 10.62 mg (1.21% drop); 5/3/20: 10.5 mg (1.22% drop); 5/10/20: 10.4 mg (1.24% drop); 5/17/20: 10.2 mg (1.25% drop); 6/7/20: 10.10 mg (1.27% drop); 6/14/20: 9.98 mg (1.19% drop); 6/21/20: 9.85 mg (1.30% drop); 6/28/20: 9.7 mg (1.22% drop); 7/12/20: 9.6 mg (1.23% drop); 7/19/20: 9.5 mg (1.25% drop); 7/26/20: 9.4 mg (1.26% drop); 8/2/20: 9.3 mg (1.28% drop); 8/17/20: 9.14 mg (1.19% drop); 8/31/20: 9.0 mg (1.31% drop); 9/6/20: 8.9 mg (1.22% drop); 9/27/20: 8.8 mg (1.23% drop)

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Thelongestroadhome

Hi R, hope you are continuing to feel better. Sinus headaches are just awful. I had to have a brain scan last year (rule out a stroke which was probably just withdrawal dizziness) and apparently all my sinuses were badly blocked. Funny cause I never suffered with any symptoms until they told me!!!

 

Anxiety is just awful. It’s living hell. I don’t even drink any more so often feel at a loss as to how to cope! But drinking was bad.... made it worse. 

 

I hate school reports. Six years old and already saying she is below expectations? That’s why I love Steiner education, especially in lower grades. Children are forced to grow up too soon and are mostly over educated at that age 😢


Current...Drug free since September 2018

December 2007 30mg Lexapro and a benzodiazepine December 2008 25mg, December 2009 20mg, December 2010 15mg Lexapro, December 2011 10mg Lexapro. Long hold as I felt happy with the dose and saw no need at the time to reduce further. September 2015 dropped to 5mg. Terrible anxiety started two months later. June 2016 dropped to 3mg and terrible obsessive thoughts and anxiety so ten days later I reinstated back to 5mg. October 2016 dropped to 4mg. April 2017 dropped to 3mg. September 2017 dropped to 2mg. Terrible obsessive thoughts. Anxiety through the roof. OCD.  September 2018 quit cold turkey 2mg Lexapro. March 2019 feeling better than I have in years. 

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DaveB
13 hours ago, Rosetta said:

 Please do.  I'm sure it's about the slam shut right on my fingers!!  Just kidding, but they do seem to close pretty hard.

 

So glad you have found yourself in a window, I REALLY hope it is the long lasting one you deserve. 


2008 - October 28th, 2016: Zoloft 50 - 150 mgs, settled on 50mgs from 2011 - 2016.
January 23rd - March 1st 2017: Zoloft 50mgs, direct switch to Lexapro.
March 1st - May 1st 2017: Lexapro 10 mgs, down to 5mgs for a week, then off.
June 1st - July 31st 2017: Paxil 20mgs, Lyrica 600mgs
August 1st - September 30th 2017: Paxil 40mgs, Zyprexa 2.5mgs
October 1st  - November 12th 2017: Paxil 60mgs, Zyprexa 2.5mgs
November 12th, 2017 - September 4th 2018: Paxil 40mgs, Zyprexa 2.5mgs 

September 4th - September 27th: Paxil 30mgs, Zyprexa 2.5mgs

September 28th - November 7th: Paxil 20mgs, Zyprexa 2.5mgs (Also Testosterone Therapy started in June 2018 and ended in November 2018)

November 7th 2018 - February 22nd 2019: Paxil 10mgs, Zyprexa 2.5mgs

February 22nd 2019 - April 17th: Zyprexa 2.5mgs, Klonopin 1mgs

April 17th - Now: Zoloft 25mgs, Zyprexa 2.5mgs, Klonopin .5mgs

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Frogie

I was reading your signature and noticed you did a really fast taper.

 

How long did you taper? And are you feeling better?

 

I've taken it slow, for the most part. I've made some mistakes.

 

I hope you continue to heal.

 

Take care,

Frogie xx


PREVIOUS medications and discontinuations: Have been on medications since 1996. 

 Valium, Gabapentin, Lamictal and Prilosec from 2000 to 2015 with a fast taper by a psychiatrist.

 Liquid Lexapro Nov, 2016 to 31-March, 2019 Lexapro free!!! (total Lexapro taper was 4 years-started with pill form)

---CURRENT MEDICATIONS:Supplements:Milk Thistle, Metamucil, Magnesium Citrate, Vitamin D3

 Xanax 1mg three times a day June, 2000 to 19-September, 2020 Went from .150 grams (average weight of 1 Xanax) three times a day to .003 grams three times a day.

19-September, 2020 Xanax free!!!

 

 

I am not a medical professional. The suggestions I make are based on personal experience.

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pinkfairy

Just stopping by to say hello...

 

you are doing very well & I hope your window continues xxx


Binge drinker thru out my life 17/37,recreational use of street drugs 17-30. Numerous AD from age 23 upwards

Matazpine 30mg 2007-2012

Paxil an zopiclone 2012-2016

Taken off Paxil in four weeks in janurary 2016

Given diazepam 2-4 feb to June 2016

C/t diazepam June (had no idea not too)

Reinstated 8mg of diazepam in July,crossed over to 8mg of diazepam! given 7.5 matazpine.

Nov 2016 at 5 mg of diazepam

Given Olanzpine 2.5 November 28th-stopped

paxil 1mg 3rd of dec -stopped

Started liquid diazpam 10th of jan.alchol free 13month

February 2018 - reduced to 4 mg diazepam and 7.5 mg mirtazapine

November 2018 - tried 2% diazepam reduction - updosed back to 4 mg after one week

 

 

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Rosetta

I think most of my window happened while I was suffering from headaches from a head cold earlier this week.  Last night, I was very irritable around 7:30.  I had taken my daughter to play at the Y.  We got home and my husband was having a bad day.  So we had cereal and yogurt for dinner.  I went to bed and then woke up 3 or 4 times with cortisol/adrenaline spikes.  I did not have much dystonia in the night.

 

This morning's wake up was a cortisol spike, too.  I've been very anxious today.  I did not volunteer at the school.  I'm too anxious.  This is the first time since I began volunteering that I have missed my volunteer day.  

 

Cortisol in night

Very little dystonia in night 

Cortisol awakening

Intense anxiety

Toll on husband is a major stressor today

Exhausted

 

It's so very, very demoralizing to have a window and fall back again to this horrendous anxiety.  But we really have no choice, and we need to ignore it when our brains tell us this is demoralizing.  It need not be quite so demoralizing if we can reframe the signs as signs of hope.  But here's another thing: they are also signs of caution -- pain -- even emotional pain -- is the body's way of saying "slow down, rest, let me repair things, let me have a break from pushing forward because I need that energy for something else."  We can't slow down as much as we need to, but we can try to be choosy about what we do and what we think about, too.  I think it's good to have a security gate in our thought process -- if a thought is followed by a rise in anxiety then maybe that thought takes too much energy from the healing process?  Maybe that thought needs to be turned away at the gate?  

 

This idea is kind of the opposite of CBT -- CBT might ask "is that thought helpful or useful right now?  Is it harmful?" Then, the question CBT would ask is "Can we refute it?"  However, I'm thinking that while we are in WD it may be better to NOT go through the refutation process every time.  Maybe the refutation process is for when we are in a window and the stray anxious thought pops up.  When we are in a wave, at that time, maybe the best thing to do is distract -- change the channel -- because, for me, I can't even use the refutation process without an increase in anxiety.  Instead, I am thinking that I can calm the anxiety more reliably by stopping after the question "Is that thought harmful?"  If I turn it away at that point and focus on something else my body seems to start clearing out the adrenaline faster.  I still feel sick to my stomach, and I feel the adrenaline in my limbs, as you say you do, and I'm confused and disoriented, but I don't continue to build that anxiety up.  I stop trying to identify the threat.  If I think about the anxious thought And try to refute it then my mind is more than happy to provide reasons to justify my anxiety!  It might even give me more reasons to be anxious.  The reasons are not even good reasons, and they are often so far in the future that they may never come to pass. 


https://www.survivingantidepressants.org/topic/16629-rosetta-ct-may-2011-too-fast-taper-feb-2017/?page=25

2001-2011 Celexa 10 mg raised to 40 mg then 60 mg over this time period

May 2011 OB Doctor's Cold switch Celexa 60 mg to 10 mg Zoloft sertraline (baby born)

2012-2016 - Doctors raised dose of Zoloft up to 150 mg

2016 - Xanax prescribed - as needed - 0.5 mg about every 3 days (bad reaction)

2016 - Stopped Xanax

Late 2016- Began (too fast) taper of Zoloft

Early 2017 - Trazodone prescribed for bedtime (doseage unknown)

Feb 2017 - Completed taper/stopped Trazodone

Drug free since Feb 2017

2017 - Unisom otc very rarely for sleep

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Kristine

Well, now I'm coming over and welding that stupid window open!  I'm so sorry my friend...I wish I could give you a ((((hug)))) K xo


  • Citalopram 20mg - 40mg ~ approx 2010 - October 2015 (stopped over one week)
  • Parnate  20mg - 50mg and olazapine 5mg ~ Jan 2016 - May 2016 (ceased over 2 days) 
  • Lithium 450mg-900 mg and Thyroxin ~May 2016 - May 2017
  • Diazepam various doses (including PRN) ~ 2015 - 2017
  • Oxazepam various doses (including PRN) ~ May 2016 - June 2016
  • Lurasidone 20mg ~Mid May 2016 - Mid June 2016
  • Vortioxetine 10mg - 20mg ~ 6th June 2016 - 20th July 2016 (abruptly ceased)
  • Amitriptyline 200mg ~July 2016 - September 2016 (ceased over 1 week)
  • Nortriptyline  (dose ?) ~October 2016 ~ November 2016 (abruptly ceased)
  • Seroquel XR 100mg - 300mg ~ May 2016 - August 2017 (ceased over 3 weeks)
  • Escitalopram 10mg - 30mg ~ August 2016 - March 2017 (ceased over 2 weeks)
  • Bupropion 300mg ~ December 2016 - May 2017 (ceased over 1 week)
  • Clonazepam 1.5mg daily ~ July 2016 (started tapering May 2017 - September 2017 currently on 0.375mg..ie 0.125mg TDS) 27th May 2018 5% 0.357mg (possible paradoxical reaction - see benzo thread)  28th June 5% 0.337mg, 28th July 10% 0.303mg, 12th September10% 0.272mg, 18th September reinstated 10% due to intolerable WD 0.303mg, 1st October-11th Oct 10% (1% reduction over 10 days) 0.272mg, 22nd October clonazepam ceased crossed over 10mg diazepam
  •  Dexamphatamine 20mg ~ December 2016 (started tapering October 2017 - tapered 1.25mg 4th Dec 2017, 1.25mg 19th Dec 2017 6.25mg, Speed up decrease due to major interaction between Dex and fluoxetine- ref to thread 10% 17th Feb 2018 5.63mg, 10% 21st Feb 2018 5.1mg, 10% 26th Feb 2018 4.5mg 10% 28th Feb 4.1mg, 10% 1st March 3.7mg, 10% 5th March 3.3mg, 10% 8th March 3mg, 10% 10th March 2.7mg, 10% 12th March 2.4mg, 10% 14th March 2.16mg, 10% 16th March 1.94mg, 10% 18th March 1.74mg, 10% 20th March 1.57mg, 10% 21st March 1.41mg, 10% 22nd March 1.26mg, 10% 23rd March 1.13mg, 10% 24th March 1.01mg, 10% 25th March 0.9mg, 10% 27th March 0.81mg, 10% 29th March 0.73mg, 10% 31st March 0.66mg, 10% 2nd April 0.59mg , 10% 4th April 0.53mg, 10% 6th April 0.47mg, 10% 8th April 0.42mg, 10%10th April 0.37mg, 11th April 0.2mg, 12th April 0.1mg (last dose) OFF! 
  • Fluoxetine 40mg ~December 2016 -.31 Jan 2018 reduced to 20mg (probable serotonin toxicity) 10th March 2020 10mg, 7th April 9mg, 1st May 8.5mg, 15th May 8.0mg, 27th May 7.5mg, 8th Sept 7.2mg 
  • Diazepam 10mg ~ 22nd Oct 2018, 10th November 8mg, 14th Nov 7mg, 8th December 6mg, 30th December 5mg (Nocte), 7th March 2019 4.5mg,14th March 4mg, 5th April 3.5mg, 9th April 3mg, 18th April 2.5mg,1st May 2mg, 17th May 1.75mg, 25th May 1.6mg, 4th June 1.59mg, 5th June 1.58mg, 6th June 1.57mg, 7th June 1.56mg, 8th June 1.55mg, 22nd June 1.4mg, 4th July 1.2mg, 16th July 1mg, 30th July 0.8mg, 13th Aug 0.6mg, 28th Aug 0.4mg, 10th Sept 0.2mg, 23rd Sept Off! 
  • SR Circadin 2mg (melatonin) 25th May - 20th June 
  • Zolpidem 10mg 25th May (7 tablets)
  • Supplements: Magnesium glycinate (soluble - sip throughout the day) 

 

"Whenever you feel yourself doubting how far you can go,  just remember how far you have come.  Remember everything you have faced, all the battles you have won, and all the fears you have overcome"    Unknown 

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Rosetta

I would like to see that -- Kristine with fire tools!  The day got better after pretty unpleasant tummy troubles.  I picked up my daughter from school and went on the weekly gymnastics class odyssey.  We had dinner with my MIL.  So, no need to feel too bad for me.  I survived the day without too much discomfort.  Now, I'm afraid to go to sleep, but I must.  

 

Thank you you for stopping by @Kristine @Frogie @DaveB @Longestroadhome @wantrelief @Dalalea  What wonderful people!  I really appreciate your kindness and support!!  Thank you!

 

Additional symptoms:

 

Crying

Fear

Diarrhea

Slight dystonia when reading


https://www.survivingantidepressants.org/topic/16629-rosetta-ct-may-2011-too-fast-taper-feb-2017/?page=25

2001-2011 Celexa 10 mg raised to 40 mg then 60 mg over this time period

May 2011 OB Doctor's Cold switch Celexa 60 mg to 10 mg Zoloft sertraline (baby born)

2012-2016 - Doctors raised dose of Zoloft up to 150 mg

2016 - Xanax prescribed - as needed - 0.5 mg about every 3 days (bad reaction)

2016 - Stopped Xanax

Late 2016- Began (too fast) taper of Zoloft

Early 2017 - Trazodone prescribed for bedtime (doseage unknown)

Feb 2017 - Completed taper/stopped Trazodone

Drug free since Feb 2017

2017 - Unisom otc very rarely for sleep

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Rosetta

Journal:

 

Yesterday, Friday, was overall ok.  I woke up with cortisol over and over again from very early in the morning. It did not help that my daughter kept kicking me.  I had hoped to go back to bed once she was at school, but I couldn't.  The anxiety eased by afternoon, and I was able to pick her up from the school and go to the park for sunshine.  I didn't have much "depression" or despair yesterday.  I felt that I was having a window.  I was tired.  I didn't want to do anything, but there was very little dystonia.   That seems to be easing slowly over time.

 

Friday:

Very little dystonia in night

No despair in night

No anxiety in night

Good dreams of having a normal life

Cortisol awakening 2-3-4 times

Anxiety

Lack of appetite

Tiredness

Rested most of day

Mind was always busy; I read and that barely affected the muscle tension/dystonia

 

Saturday (Today):

 

Today is bad.  I don't know why it's bad exactly, but I'm trying to figure out a cause.  I woke up feeling quite good after sleeping in.  I had cortisol spikes several times early this morning.  My daughter was kicking me in her sleep.  I was afraid to switch to a different bed in case she woke up alone, and she cried out.  The physical effort of going back to her after a cortisol spike almost ensures that I will be awake for the rest of the day.  The cortisol spike her cries cause is very hard to reverse if I have to get up and walk to another room.  

 

My daughter woke up for good at about 6:30, but she let me sleep after about 6:45.  I actually calmed down and woke up with a cortisol spike at 8:45, but I was feeling good a few minutes later at about 9:00.  Then, I didn't eat breakfast right away after I woke up.  It seems that if I sleep in and miss my breakfast time, I am risking a bad day?  If I don't eat right after I get up, sometimes that creates a problem possibly?  It's the only thing that seems to make sense today.  It's tough when I have no appetite.  I started getting over stimulated.  So, I had raspberries and yogurt.  That didn't help.  My daughter had a friend over to play.  The noise may have bothered me, but then someone opened some bleach.  In a few minutes I was in tears.  I am very sensitive to bleach since WD became intense last Fall.  Even from yards away it burns my eyes and nose and sends me into a tailspin.  I was crying and angry and panicked until I left the house.  I didn't want to leave.  I wanted to find a safe hole to crawl into, but I had to leave.  I cried in the car for 15 minutes or so.  My shoulders were aching and stiff.  My husband gave me a decaf cafe mocha.  Now, I feel worn out.  

 

Today:

Very little dystonia in night

No despair in night

No anxiety in night

Good dreams of having a normal life

Cortisol awakening 3-4 times

Was able to sleep in

Felt good upon getting up

Lack of appetite -- did not eat quickly enough upon awakening at 8:45?

Anxiety began after people came over; a child came to play and Intensified severely after someone open a bleach product

Crying, panic, anger

Tiredness; exhaustion; despair

 

Its a day when when I question how much more I can take


https://www.survivingantidepressants.org/topic/16629-rosetta-ct-may-2011-too-fast-taper-feb-2017/?page=25

2001-2011 Celexa 10 mg raised to 40 mg then 60 mg over this time period

May 2011 OB Doctor's Cold switch Celexa 60 mg to 10 mg Zoloft sertraline (baby born)

2012-2016 - Doctors raised dose of Zoloft up to 150 mg

2016 - Xanax prescribed - as needed - 0.5 mg about every 3 days (bad reaction)

2016 - Stopped Xanax

Late 2016- Began (too fast) taper of Zoloft

Early 2017 - Trazodone prescribed for bedtime (doseage unknown)

Feb 2017 - Completed taper/stopped Trazodone

Drug free since Feb 2017

2017 - Unisom otc very rarely for sleep

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Rosetta

Some thoughts on hope and pushing through the waves when one feels no hope:

 

One member stated that hope is a choice.  I agree that hope is a choice when in a window and sometimes in a wave.  Depending on how deep a wave might be I don't always feel that I have a choice to hope.  I often feel that I lose the ability to hope utterly and completely, and I'm just staying alive for my little girl.  I suppose you could say that I must be hopeful that I'll get better, but it's often more accurate to say that I'm trying to not destroy her life just yet -- just in case there is hope that I can't feel.

 

Granted, these time periods of feeling hopeless get shorter and shorter as I heal, but there must be a neurotransmitter issue occurring because I honestly feel absolutely no hope at all sometimes.  That happened today, in fact.  It's a feeling that is incredibly immature and shortsighted, and I liken it to the way a toddler or young child feels when she loses a toy -- the feeling that nothing will ever be all right again.  It's as if everything I have ever learned in my life about the transient nature of feelings and the ability to recover from grief goes right out the door.  I suspect that I am very much like a child at these times.  

 

Perhaps the brains of little children are in a similar degree of turmoil as they grow and change.  My daughter certainly sometimes acts as if she feels the same degree of anguish that I feel when I can't do something I want to do.  She recovers more quickly from it, and she has happy emotions.  The lack of happy emotions is probably a major reason WD is so unrelenting bleak compared to the way a child experiences the growth of her brain.

 

I suppose the key is to remember that emotions are fleeting.  They will change and even if we can't feel good emotions at a particular point in our recoveries, we do know that the bad feelings will go and anhedonia will take their places.  A moderator said to me that the bad emotions are the first to return.  Getting through this period of having bad or neutral feelings but no good feelings is tough, but it must be done in order to reach the times when good feelings return.  What a cruel, cruel syndrome!


https://www.survivingantidepressants.org/topic/16629-rosetta-ct-may-2011-too-fast-taper-feb-2017/?page=25

2001-2011 Celexa 10 mg raised to 40 mg then 60 mg over this time period

May 2011 OB Doctor's Cold switch Celexa 60 mg to 10 mg Zoloft sertraline (baby born)

2012-2016 - Doctors raised dose of Zoloft up to 150 mg

2016 - Xanax prescribed - as needed - 0.5 mg about every 3 days (bad reaction)

2016 - Stopped Xanax

Late 2016- Began (too fast) taper of Zoloft

Early 2017 - Trazodone prescribed for bedtime (doseage unknown)

Feb 2017 - Completed taper/stopped Trazodone

Drug free since Feb 2017

2017 - Unisom otc very rarely for sleep

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Downbutnotout

You’re very fortunate that you feel like you’re healing, and are able to experience hope. You are pretty positive on all your posts. I agree not experiencing joy or happiness is the worst thing about this.


 

2001 Remeron , Celexa, prozac a week on lithium. 

2014 went off effexor and trazadone in 3 weeks. 

2014 zoloft (hyper reaction) put on effexor 75 mg. Was stable until 2017 

2017  Trazadone 50 mg (June) Effexor to 113 mg (2 weeks) Effexor 150 mg for a month . Took 75 mg until November. . Lithium 10 days, Lamactil 10 day  aug-nov15 ativan

October : Prozac bridge to get off 75 mg of effexor Used 10 mg of prozac. Stopped prozac 3 wk 

Dec 6, 7 Upped trazadone from 50 to 100 mg Did it for 3 days Stopped it

Dec 7 , Dec 8 Took prozac again 0.1 , 0.1, 0.6 stopped it

Dec 11 and Dec 12 upped it to 100 again

Dec 15 , 16,17 went back to 50 mg of trazadone

December 18 Began 3 beads of effexor  Dec 25 began 5 beads of effexor take 10 mg of omneprazole daily

 

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Happy2Heal

((((gente hugs)))))

 

your good feelings are going to come back.

 

it is a cruel journey but you have much to be proud of. 


  • pysch med history: 1974 @ age 18 to Oct 2017 (approx 43 yrs total)
  •  Drug list: stelazine, haldol, elavil, lithium, zoloft, celexa, lexapro(doses as high as 40mgs), klonopin, ambien, seroquel(high doses), depakote, zyprexa, lamictalBrief trials of dozens of other psych meds over the years
  • started lexapro 2002, dose varied from 20mgs to 40mgs. I tried to get off it several times. WD symptoms were mistaken for "relapse". 
  •  2013 tapered down to 5mg but WD forced me back to 20mgs
  •  June of 2105, tapered again, too rapidly to 2.5mgs by Dec 2015. Found SA, held at 2.5 mgs til May 2016 when I foolishly "jumped off". Crashed in Sept, reinstated at 0.3mgs in Oct. 2106
  • Tapered off to zero by  Oct. 2017 Doing very well
  • Nov. 2018 feel 95% healed, current age 63 
  • Jan. 2020 feel 100% healed, peaceful and content 
 

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Rosetta

Journal:

 

Working hard today to float, re-direct, distract, and accept.

 

Dystonia slight in night

Anxiety upon waking in night - medium-high

Despair upon waking in night -- medium

Cortisol spike this morning

 

Slept in late - to 8:30

Anxiety since waking (it is 2:30 p.m. Now)

Dystonia/muscle tension is slight today

Had two eggs and chai tea as soon as I could after waking

 

Feeling sick - husband said I was pale and my lips were blue

Took a hot bath (I have no Epsom salts)

Having chicken broth now

 

I can't quite understand what I'm feeling right now.  I don't know whether I'm having a physical illness or it's simply anxiety.  So, I'm trying to accept it, remind myself that it can't hurt me, and remember that I will have another window.  I'm not too concerned that it is something serious that I am ignoring.  I do wish I was having a good day with my daughter instead of trying to maintain calm with all my might.  I'm wondering if there is a low blood sugar issue going on.  I'm slightly nauseous, but that's common when I have all day anxiety.  I suppose this could be a new kind of baseline for a wave, and it simply feels strange because I'm not used to it?

 

PS Thanks @Happy2Heall and @Downbutnotout for stopping by!


https://www.survivingantidepressants.org/topic/16629-rosetta-ct-may-2011-too-fast-taper-feb-2017/?page=25

2001-2011 Celexa 10 mg raised to 40 mg then 60 mg over this time period

May 2011 OB Doctor's Cold switch Celexa 60 mg to 10 mg Zoloft sertraline (baby born)

2012-2016 - Doctors raised dose of Zoloft up to 150 mg

2016 - Xanax prescribed - as needed - 0.5 mg about every 3 days (bad reaction)

2016 - Stopped Xanax

Late 2016- Began (too fast) taper of Zoloft

Early 2017 - Trazodone prescribed for bedtime (doseage unknown)

Feb 2017 - Completed taper/stopped Trazodone

Drug free since Feb 2017

2017 - Unisom otc very rarely for sleep

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Rosetta

Yesterday, I went for a walk in the park.  My anxiety calmed some after that but never went away completely.  

 

Today is a lot like yesterday -- a strange feeling that is most likely a form of anxiety -- I feel sick to my stomach, jittery, nervous.  Yes, that's what anxiety feels like for everyone, but this has a strange quality to it.  I know nothing is wrong physically as the strange feeling went away yesterday evening.  The anxiety never went away completely.  I woke up with a sore throat.  I'm thinking that perhaps my immune response to a virus is contributing to the way I feel.  I can't do much of anything but rest.  I'm frustrated quite a bit.  My neck has been tense since before I woke up.  After reading for a while, I have a very slight headache with numbness in my upper lip and nose and tingling in my eye and temple.  

 

Dystonia in the night -- slight 

Despair upon waking in the night - medium

Anxiety upon waking in the night med-high

Many muscle contractions -- flutters -- on my right side and a few on the left

Stayed in bed this morning hoping to get some extra rest that might help me heal

Woke up two or three times while daughter was getting ready for school -- much anxiety that I was not helping to get her ready

Slept late 9:30 -- slept well after daughter left at 7:35.

Anxiety is bad today -- worse since school let out -- I did not go to pick her up

Feeling sick to my stomach from anxiety, I think

Lack of appetite

Had two eggs and chai tea for breakfast

Bowl of cereal for lunch

Dystonia/muscle tension is worse after reading 

 

Still working on the motivation to change things.  Having protein first thing in the morning is not enough.  I should get more sun, I think.  

 

 

 

 


https://www.survivingantidepressants.org/topic/16629-rosetta-ct-may-2011-too-fast-taper-feb-2017/?page=25

2001-2011 Celexa 10 mg raised to 40 mg then 60 mg over this time period

May 2011 OB Doctor's Cold switch Celexa 60 mg to 10 mg Zoloft sertraline (baby born)

2012-2016 - Doctors raised dose of Zoloft up to 150 mg

2016 - Xanax prescribed - as needed - 0.5 mg about every 3 days (bad reaction)

2016 - Stopped Xanax

Late 2016- Began (too fast) taper of Zoloft

Early 2017 - Trazodone prescribed for bedtime (doseage unknown)

Feb 2017 - Completed taper/stopped Trazodone

Drug free since Feb 2017

2017 - Unisom otc very rarely for sleep

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