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Rosetta: cold switch May 2011 & too fast taper Feb 2017


Rosetta

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5 hours ago, Rosetta said:

Thanks, @DMV64 I'm glad you are here, too.

 

Journal:

 

I'm feeling better.  Last nights sleep was better.  I've been gradually feeling better the last 2-3 days and nights.  The insomnia wasn't as emotionally painful last night, and I didn't need the shoulder wrap.  Today has been rather easy.  I went to get the mattress ordered and a new dishwasher, had lunch and picked up my daughter.  Now we have music class soon.  I'm doing ok.  Hope it lasts for a while.  I'm anhedonic, I suppose.  Nothing seems interesting or positive, but I'm not anxious and scared either.  Still very sad at this situation.

 

Physically, no big problems.  A little muscle tension from using SA that should resolved when I'm done.

 

Here it is bedtime and I have to say it's been a pretty good day.  I did not expect that.  It's not normalcy by far, but it's a bit of a rest.  My daughter and I went to the park before dinner, and I was able to walk.  I had a lot of protein today -- eggs, beans, fish and turkey.  Maybe I can have another night without too much distress.

https://www.survivingantidepressants.org/topic/16629-rosetta-ct-may-2011-too-fast-taper-feb-2017/?page=25

2001-2011 Celexa 10 mg raised to 40 mg then 60 mg over this time period

May 2011 OB Doctor's Cold switch Celexa 60 mg to 10 mg Zoloft sertraline (baby born)

2012-2016 - Doctors raised dose of Zoloft up to 150 mg

2016 - Xanax prescribed - as needed - 0.5 mg about every 3 days (bad reaction)

2016 - Stopped Xanax

Late 2016- Began (too fast) taper of Zoloft

Early 2017 - Trazodone prescribed for bedtime (doseage unknown)

Feb 2017 - Completed taper/stopped Trazodone

Drug free since Feb 2017

2017 - Unisom otc very rarely for sleep

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Thanks, @Sheera.  Thank you, @bubbles.   I forgot to note that something physical has changed, and it’s a big deal.  Last Fall, in August, I tried to wear contact lenses again.  I had given

@Amira123 Oh, yes, all of that!  It all slowly lessened over time.  There were windows when I felt relief from those symptoms.  Then, they would come back and go away again.  At times, I had bad waves

I wrote something similar to this to another member, and I thought I would post it here before I sign off:   It WILL get better.  I am SO MUCH better!  Sometimes I think I should pinch mysel

wantrelief
34 minutes ago, Rosetta said:

Here it is bedtime and I have to say it's been a pretty good day.

That is great news, Rosetta!

-1/06 - 3/07 Cymbalta. Fast taper; withdrawal symptoms after 4 mos (didn't realize was WD)

-10/07: 100 mg Zoloft; 1 mg Klonopin - tapered off Klonopin
-Tried several times to slowly taper Zoloft by 10%, then 5% every 4-6 weeks; could never get below approx. 40 mg - spring 2012 experienced major WD symptoms due to stress; tried to updose but no relief, back on Klonopin 1 mg.
-Switched over 5-6 mos from Zoloft to Citalopram. Finished Zoloft 1/13; Citalopram 35 mg and 1 mg Klonopin.
-8/13: 27 mg Citalopram; 1 mg Klonopin

-11/14: 12.6 Citalopram - began to have bad withdrawal symptoms; out of desperation increased to 1.25 mg Klonopin at the beginning of December.  12/13/14 16 mg Citalopram - going to stay here to try to stabilize; stabilized on 16 mg Citalopram after 4-5 months

-7/15 - 3/16: reduced to 15 mg; ~ 2 months later w/d hit hard (probably r/t stress); 6/16 updosed to 20 mg Citalopram and trying to stabilize. Updosed to 1.5 Klonopin as well. Stabilized on 20 mg Citalopram after 4-5 months

8/17-9/17: feeling withdrawal symptoms at 20 mg Citalopram (due to stress) - slowly increased to 25 mg. No change in symptoms after 6 months (? tolerance ?)  - decided to start citalopram taper February 2018 (still on Klonopin 1.5 mg).

Supplements: fish oil; vitamin D3; curcumin

Citalopram taper:  2/2018 - 12/2019: 25 mg - 11.03 mg

2020: 1/14/20: 10.89 mg (1.27% drop); 1/22/20: 10.75 mg (1.29% drop); 2/28/20 toe surgery; 4/26/20: 10.62 mg (1.21% drop); 5/3/20: 10.5 mg (1.22% drop); 5/10/20: 10.4 mg (1.24% drop); 5/17/20: 10.2 mg (1.25% drop); 6/7/20: 10.10 mg (1.27% drop); 6/14/20: 9.98 mg (1.19% drop); 6/21/20: 9.85 mg (1.30% drop); 6/28/20: 9.7 mg (1.22% drop); 7/12/20: 9.6 mg (1.23% drop); 7/19/20: 9.5 mg (1.25% drop); 7/26/20: 9.4 mg (1.26% drop); 8/2/20: 9.3 mg (1.28% drop); 8/17/20: 9.14 mg (1.19% drop); 8/31/20: 9.0 mg (1.31% drop); 9/6/20: 8.9 mg (1.22% drop); 9/27/20: 8.8 mg (1.23% drop); 10/4/20: 8.7 mg (1.25% drop); 10/11/20: 8.6 mg (1.27% drop); 10/18/20: 8.5 mg (1.28% drop); 11/8/20: 8.4 mg (1.18% drop); 11/15/20: 8.3 mg (1.19% drop); 11/22/20: 8.2 mg (1.21% drop)

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5 hours ago, Rosetta said:

 

Here it is bedtime and I have to say it's been a pretty good day.  I did not expect that.  It's not normalcy by far, but it's a bit of a rest.  My daughter and I went to the park before dinner, and I was able to walk.  I had a lot of protein today -- eggs, beans, fish and turkey.  Maybe I can have another night without too much distress.

 

That’s fabulous news Rosetta, 

 

It really helps us to see that we will eventually heal when we start seeing some windows. When in a wave we feel they are never going to come, everything seems so dark, but eventually a bit of light always shines through. 

 

It looks like you’ve been through quite a rough time lately. I hope you stabilise soon. 

 

It looks like protein does you good too. My diet mainly consists of fruit and veggies and animal proteins. I love smoothies made with coconut water, I throw in some berries and bananas. Nice n quick when you’re too sick to cook. 

 

Hope ur tomorrow is another pretty good day for you💚💚

 

 

Been on antipsychotics, benzos, antidepressants and painkillers for chronic pain. 

Have been cold turkeyed and put on and off all sorts of things.  Was suicidal n ended up in a psych ward because I had akathisia from withdrawals. I can’t remember what I was put on but when I was released was in the same predicament with severe akathisia n was suicidal again.

Back to the psych ward and I was given a number of different drugs while there. Tapered off one when I got home n have been trying to taper off Seroquel since. It’s been years, tapering slowly but still having severe withdrawals.

I’ve  tapered from 300mg of Seroquel to 7.5mg./ March 10th 2019=7.25mg / 17th of April 2019= 7mg / June 5th=6.75mg/ July 14th=6.50mg/ 28th of August=6.25mg/ 10th of Oct= 6.20mg/ 21st October 6mg/ 16th of December 5.80mg/21st of January 5.60mg/

 

I AM NOT A MEDICAL PROFESSIONAL. These are my own views based on what I’ve experienced myself.

 

 

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I just read your past posts and SOOOOOO great to read you are sleeping better and feeling better!  GOSH I'm so happy for you Rosetta!  

 

-Nardil 1976 < year, stopped. Reactions to AD's. Klonopin .5BID ?1990, 2.5mg ? til 2016

-Klonopin doubled Jan '16. Tapered to 2.25mg May '16 to Nov '16, Heart raced after 1 Lexapro, stopped. Reacting to Prevacid to tapered off. Nov

-November '16 Tapered .25mg Klonopin in hospital. Jan 2 '17 started Viibryd, 20mg from 2/20 to 6/10 '17,     

-20mg to 10mg Viibryd from 3/25 to 6/10 2017, 12/15 10% Viibryd taper...back up next day

-Clonazepam 2mg to 1.85mg 4/14 '17 to end November; taper to 1mg Clonazepam in hospital 9/1 tp 9/14 '17

-Feb '18 Amiloride .25mg  5/18 off Amiloride d/t react. Clonaz compounded  

-4/27 '18 Viibryd 9.5mg, 6/11 9.0 mg, 1/27 '19 Viibryd 8.75mg, ; Clonazepam .2mg 530pm and .7mg 1130pm, Premarin .3mg 830PM CARAFATE QID 2/27/19 to 3/5/19

-July 6'19 1/2 10mg Claritin 230pm, stopped it about July 18, started Oct 11 '19, 

-7/27 Viibryd 8.5, 8/29 Viibryd 8.25 -10/18 Carafate 1/2 NOC-10/24 Viibryd 8.0, 12/6 Viibryd 7.75, K+ 10meq qd

-NOW 1115am-Viibryd 7.75mg, 3pm-K+ 5mg, 515pm-Clonaz .2mg, 6pm-K+ 5mg, 830pm-Premarin .3mg,1115pm-Clonaz .9mg, 115am Carafate .5gm.

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Wrote that  last night I think and forgot to send...I do that alot!  Sorry....Scary!!!  I was catching up and thought where is my post?  Went to write something and there it was!  UGH!!!

Hope today has gone well too Rosetta!  ♥️

 

 

-Nardil 1976 < year, stopped. Reactions to AD's. Klonopin .5BID ?1990, 2.5mg ? til 2016

-Klonopin doubled Jan '16. Tapered to 2.25mg May '16 to Nov '16, Heart raced after 1 Lexapro, stopped. Reacting to Prevacid to tapered off. Nov

-November '16 Tapered .25mg Klonopin in hospital. Jan 2 '17 started Viibryd, 20mg from 2/20 to 6/10 '17,     

-20mg to 10mg Viibryd from 3/25 to 6/10 2017, 12/15 10% Viibryd taper...back up next day

-Clonazepam 2mg to 1.85mg 4/14 '17 to end November; taper to 1mg Clonazepam in hospital 9/1 tp 9/14 '17

-Feb '18 Amiloride .25mg  5/18 off Amiloride d/t react. Clonaz compounded  

-4/27 '18 Viibryd 9.5mg, 6/11 9.0 mg, 1/27 '19 Viibryd 8.75mg, ; Clonazepam .2mg 530pm and .7mg 1130pm, Premarin .3mg 830PM CARAFATE QID 2/27/19 to 3/5/19

-July 6'19 1/2 10mg Claritin 230pm, stopped it about July 18, started Oct 11 '19, 

-7/27 Viibryd 8.5, 8/29 Viibryd 8.25 -10/18 Carafate 1/2 NOC-10/24 Viibryd 8.0, 12/6 Viibryd 7.75, K+ 10meq qd

-NOW 1115am-Viibryd 7.75mg, 3pm-K+ 5mg, 515pm-Clonaz .2mg, 6pm-K+ 5mg, 830pm-Premarin .3mg,1115pm-Clonaz .9mg, 115am Carafate .5gm.

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Yesterday was ok.  I had slept ok the night before, and I went for a walk by the lake.  I picked my daughter up from school, and we went to the park.  Today, I had another decent day after a decent nights' sleep.   I planned to volunteer at school, but the teacher had nothing for me to do.  After school, I picked my daughter up and we went 1/2 hour away to visit a friend of mine whose child went to kinder with my daughter.  

 

While driving, I took a wrong turn and got lost.  The wonderful news is that I didn't panic or get angry.  I wasn't happy.  I was very late to see my friend, but I was able to stay calm.  In the past, I would have become very upset, cried, become angry, etc.. This time, I was able to accept the situation and simply be unhappy that I had to drive for an hour instead of 1/2 an hour to get there.  My friend was very understanding.  This is real progress.  To have the energy to take my daughter that far for a play date and to also be able to check my emotions in a frustrating situation indicates that my moods are leveling out.  

 

I even did a little bit of sorting and throwing away things from the kitchen counter.  

 

I feel "bad."  I'm sad, I'm anhedonic, I'm frustrated with my life, but I'm becoming capable of doing more.  I expect this improvement to continue so I'm aware that I should be "happy."  It's odd to know I should feel happy, but I don't.  In fact, it's frustrating!  How bizarre.

https://www.survivingantidepressants.org/topic/16629-rosetta-ct-may-2011-too-fast-taper-feb-2017/?page=25

2001-2011 Celexa 10 mg raised to 40 mg then 60 mg over this time period

May 2011 OB Doctor's Cold switch Celexa 60 mg to 10 mg Zoloft sertraline (baby born)

2012-2016 - Doctors raised dose of Zoloft up to 150 mg

2016 - Xanax prescribed - as needed - 0.5 mg about every 3 days (bad reaction)

2016 - Stopped Xanax

Late 2016- Began (too fast) taper of Zoloft

Early 2017 - Trazodone prescribed for bedtime (doseage unknown)

Feb 2017 - Completed taper/stopped Trazodone

Drug free since Feb 2017

2017 - Unisom otc very rarely for sleep

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Glad to hear you are experiencing improvements Rosetta.  I’m sure in time you will be able to feel happy about it.

Zoloft 50 mg Fall 2003-October 2016

I went up to 150 mg for several months during the winter of 2016 after going through a tough time trying to stabilize.

Lexapro 5 mg and then 10 mg October 2016-December 2016

Paxil December 2016 to present.  Started at 10 mg went up to 20 mg for three weeks and started reducing by 5mg every 2 weeks per doctors orders.  Got down to 7.5 mg and ran into trouble, found this website and updosed to 10 mg.

 9mg paroxetine June 18-6.5 mg in am 2.5 mg pm.  

July 20 began switch to Citalopram-9 mg Paxil and 5 mg citalopram

July 24-7.5mg paroxetine and 7.5mg Citalopram 

July 27-5mg paroxetine and 10 citalopram 

July 30-2.5 paroxetine and 10 of Citalopram 

August 2-2mg paroxetine and 10mg Citalopram, dropped paroxetine Aug. 3

August 8 increased to 15 mg citalopram

Take 1mg lorazepam as needed and 3mg melatonin at night.

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wantrelief

Such wonderful improvements, Rosetta!  I second what Hazel said, that in time you will be able to feel happy about it.

-1/06 - 3/07 Cymbalta. Fast taper; withdrawal symptoms after 4 mos (didn't realize was WD)

-10/07: 100 mg Zoloft; 1 mg Klonopin - tapered off Klonopin
-Tried several times to slowly taper Zoloft by 10%, then 5% every 4-6 weeks; could never get below approx. 40 mg - spring 2012 experienced major WD symptoms due to stress; tried to updose but no relief, back on Klonopin 1 mg.
-Switched over 5-6 mos from Zoloft to Citalopram. Finished Zoloft 1/13; Citalopram 35 mg and 1 mg Klonopin.
-8/13: 27 mg Citalopram; 1 mg Klonopin

-11/14: 12.6 Citalopram - began to have bad withdrawal symptoms; out of desperation increased to 1.25 mg Klonopin at the beginning of December.  12/13/14 16 mg Citalopram - going to stay here to try to stabilize; stabilized on 16 mg Citalopram after 4-5 months

-7/15 - 3/16: reduced to 15 mg; ~ 2 months later w/d hit hard (probably r/t stress); 6/16 updosed to 20 mg Citalopram and trying to stabilize. Updosed to 1.5 Klonopin as well. Stabilized on 20 mg Citalopram after 4-5 months

8/17-9/17: feeling withdrawal symptoms at 20 mg Citalopram (due to stress) - slowly increased to 25 mg. No change in symptoms after 6 months (? tolerance ?)  - decided to start citalopram taper February 2018 (still on Klonopin 1.5 mg).

Supplements: fish oil; vitamin D3; curcumin

Citalopram taper:  2/2018 - 12/2019: 25 mg - 11.03 mg

2020: 1/14/20: 10.89 mg (1.27% drop); 1/22/20: 10.75 mg (1.29% drop); 2/28/20 toe surgery; 4/26/20: 10.62 mg (1.21% drop); 5/3/20: 10.5 mg (1.22% drop); 5/10/20: 10.4 mg (1.24% drop); 5/17/20: 10.2 mg (1.25% drop); 6/7/20: 10.10 mg (1.27% drop); 6/14/20: 9.98 mg (1.19% drop); 6/21/20: 9.85 mg (1.30% drop); 6/28/20: 9.7 mg (1.22% drop); 7/12/20: 9.6 mg (1.23% drop); 7/19/20: 9.5 mg (1.25% drop); 7/26/20: 9.4 mg (1.26% drop); 8/2/20: 9.3 mg (1.28% drop); 8/17/20: 9.14 mg (1.19% drop); 8/31/20: 9.0 mg (1.31% drop); 9/6/20: 8.9 mg (1.22% drop); 9/27/20: 8.8 mg (1.23% drop); 10/4/20: 8.7 mg (1.25% drop); 10/11/20: 8.6 mg (1.27% drop); 10/18/20: 8.5 mg (1.28% drop); 11/8/20: 8.4 mg (1.18% drop); 11/15/20: 8.3 mg (1.19% drop); 11/22/20: 8.2 mg (1.21% drop)

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  • Mentor
FarmGirlWorks
On 5/31/2018 at 7:19 PM, Rosetta said:

I feel "bad."  I'm sad, I'm anhedonic, I'm frustrated with my life, but I'm becoming capable of doing more.  I expect this improvement to continue so I'm aware that I should be "happy."  It's odd to know I should feel happy, but I don't.  In fact, it's frustrating!  How bizarre.

Exactly, @Rosetta. Doing things, accomplishing more (but welling up with anxiety when I begin to think about how much more there was) and thinking I should feel happy or satisfied but I do not. But we will, hopefully, feel the sense of accomplishment someday. Compared to your posts a few months ago, you have made progress. It's just hard to see when you feel bad.

  • Prozac | late 2004-mid-2005 | CT WD in a couple months, mostly emotional
  • Sertraline 50-100mg | 11/2011-3/2014, 10/2014-3/2017
  • Sertraline fast taper March 2017, 4 weeks, OFF sertraline April 1, 2017
  • Quit alcohol May 20, 2017, quit coffee October 2017, quit cannabis 😩 July 2018
  • Magnesium powder, fish oil, estradiol, kombucha, gluten/dairy/histamine-lite
  • Lifestyle changes: AA, kundalini practice

 

"If you've seen a monster, even if it's horrible, that's evidence of divinity." – Damien Echols

 

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TryingToHoldOn

Thank you for your comment on my thread.

 

I know it’s hard to see when you’re in it, but I have seen a lot of healing taking place on your thread. Taking care of your daughter, after school activities, play dates, visiting with friends, etc.  In a past life, these activities would be unremarkable, but it is truly an accomplishment during withdrawal.  You are moving in the right direction.  I hope to get to where you are some day.  Wishing you continued healing and endurance to make it to the finish line.

Mid 2014 - June 2016 (~ 2.5 yrs): sertraline 75mg. Under advice of my Pysch NP, weaned off in 1 month

Sept 2017 - Feb 2017 (6 months): Latuda (dose 20mg up to 80mg). Under advice of Psych NP, weaned off in 6 weeks (Jan - mid Feb). Tirtated down 20mg every 2 weeks.

Nov 2017 - Feb 2017 (3 months): lamictal 100mg. Abruptly taken off. This was the "wean": 100mg, 50mg, then off

Feb 2017: sertraline 150mg for 1 week to bring me out of a severe suicidal depression. Abruptly stopped due to serotonin syndrome. Tried to reinstate 50mg a week later, but the serotonin syndrome symptoms came back. Not possible to reinstate sertraline.

March 2017: remeron 7.5mg. Took one dose that knocked me out for two days. Refused to take it again

February 2017 - March 2017: Ativan 1mg. Took 5 pills total spread out over the course of 3 weeks. No longer taking it.

6/16/18 - 6/26: celexa 1.25mg

6/27/18 - 6/29: celexa 2.5mg, 6/29 had burning and agitation within 30min of dose

6/30/18 - present: celexa 1.25mg

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Thank you, @TryingToHoldOn. It is difficult to keep going, but we must.  There is no other option.  You will be where I am, and then even better.

 

@FarmGirlWorks I know you are in a similar phase.  We have made progress, and I'm grateful for that progress.  I wish it were enough.

 

Journal:

 

I had a very bad night.  We were at my mother in law's empty place, and I knew before we went that I was "going down the rabbit hole."  We should not have stayed the night.  I need my routine, my familiar space, etc, in the night.  How this affects my daughter is very troubling, too.  I have no way out but through.  How I wish there were another way.  My defenses are so low in the night.  Avoiding a spiral is nearly impossible.  I didn't have my eye pillow, and I overheated.  I woke up and started to panic.  I keep hoping I am past the point of losing my cool in front of my daughter, and then I find that I'm not.  

 

If he gets angry I panic even more.  I feel afraid because he is clearly afraid.  He says he's not sure that I will get well.  I am sure, finally, but now he's not?!!  I suppose it's natural, but what a kick in the gut.  Well, documenting this is making me feel worse so I'll stop.

 

I just hope that if my daughter sees me cry and then later sees that I'm not upset that maybe she will learn that bad emotions are temporary.  And if she sees my husband angry and then sees us apologize and be affectionate later that she will learn good behaviors from that, too.  Could that be better than never seeing ones parents upset with each other?

https://www.survivingantidepressants.org/topic/16629-rosetta-ct-may-2011-too-fast-taper-feb-2017/?page=25

2001-2011 Celexa 10 mg raised to 40 mg then 60 mg over this time period

May 2011 OB Doctor's Cold switch Celexa 60 mg to 10 mg Zoloft sertraline (baby born)

2012-2016 - Doctors raised dose of Zoloft up to 150 mg

2016 - Xanax prescribed - as needed - 0.5 mg about every 3 days (bad reaction)

2016 - Stopped Xanax

Late 2016- Began (too fast) taper of Zoloft

Early 2017 - Trazodone prescribed for bedtime (doseage unknown)

Feb 2017 - Completed taper/stopped Trazodone

Drug free since Feb 2017

2017 - Unisom otc very rarely for sleep

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Im sorry Rosetta!  I think that would be very difficult...not to have what you need for your routine and sleep.

 

I think it is a good thing that he feels safe enough to have his feelings too...says a lot about both of you.

And I think that is very good for your daughter...I truly do!  ♥️

-Nardil 1976 < year, stopped. Reactions to AD's. Klonopin .5BID ?1990, 2.5mg ? til 2016

-Klonopin doubled Jan '16. Tapered to 2.25mg May '16 to Nov '16, Heart raced after 1 Lexapro, stopped. Reacting to Prevacid to tapered off. Nov

-November '16 Tapered .25mg Klonopin in hospital. Jan 2 '17 started Viibryd, 20mg from 2/20 to 6/10 '17,     

-20mg to 10mg Viibryd from 3/25 to 6/10 2017, 12/15 10% Viibryd taper...back up next day

-Clonazepam 2mg to 1.85mg 4/14 '17 to end November; taper to 1mg Clonazepam in hospital 9/1 tp 9/14 '17

-Feb '18 Amiloride .25mg  5/18 off Amiloride d/t react. Clonaz compounded  

-4/27 '18 Viibryd 9.5mg, 6/11 9.0 mg, 1/27 '19 Viibryd 8.75mg, ; Clonazepam .2mg 530pm and .7mg 1130pm, Premarin .3mg 830PM CARAFATE QID 2/27/19 to 3/5/19

-July 6'19 1/2 10mg Claritin 230pm, stopped it about July 18, started Oct 11 '19, 

-7/27 Viibryd 8.5, 8/29 Viibryd 8.25 -10/18 Carafate 1/2 NOC-10/24 Viibryd 8.0, 12/6 Viibryd 7.75, K+ 10meq qd

-NOW 1115am-Viibryd 7.75mg, 3pm-K+ 5mg, 515pm-Clonaz .2mg, 6pm-K+ 5mg, 830pm-Premarin .3mg,1115pm-Clonaz .9mg, 115am Carafate .5gm.

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Hi rosseta, 

emotional spiral in wd is a very tough one to deal with. It's even harder to think about the possible effects on your kids. I feel your concern.

 

I remember last time I was going through a insane emotional spiral at work freaking out with everyone including my boss! 

 

I then found the topic on this one that explained very well how these emotions run etc. And some coping skills confound quite helpful.

 

I will find it and paste the link to you thread, in case you haven't seen it.

 

Wish you peace !

Lex

 

 

Drug free Sep. 23 2017

2009 Mar.: lexapro 10mg for headache for 2 weeks.

2009-2012: on and off 1/4 to 1/3 of 10mg

2012 June--2013 Jan,: 1/4-1/3 of 10mg generic, bad jaw pain

2013 Jan-Mar: 10 mg generic. severe jaw and head pain;

2013 Mar--Aug. started tapering (liquid ever since) from 10 to 5 (one step) then gradually down to 2.25 mg by July. first ever panic attack, severe head/jaw pain

2013 Aug.: back to 2.75 mg; Nov: back to Brand Lex. 2.75mg -- 3mg,

2014 June: stopped PPI, head pressure/numbness. up-dosed 4.5mg, severe reaction mental symptoms added on

2014 Aug--2015 Aug: Micro taper down to 3.2mg, .025mg (<1%) cut holding 2-3 weeks.

2015 Aug 15th, Accidental one dose of 4.2mg. worsening brain non-functional, swollen head, body, coma like, DR

2016 Feb., started dosing 10am through 11 pm everyday 2/13--3.2mg, 3/15-- 2.9mg, 4/19-- 2.6mg, 6/26--2.2mg, 7/22 --1.9mg, 8/16--1.8mg,8/31--1.7m g, 9/13--1.6mg, 9/27--1.5mg, 10/8--1.4mg, 10/14--1.3mg, 11/1--1.2mg, 11/29--1.1mg, 12/12--1mg, 12/22--0.9mg

2017: 1/7--0.8mg, 1/15--0.7mg, 1/17--0.6mg, 1/20--0.52, 1/21--0.4mg, 1/22--0.26, 1/23--0.2, 2/13--0.13mg, 2/20--0.06mg, 3/18--0.13mg, 6/1--0.12mg, 7/6--0.1mg, 7/14--0.08mg, 8/17--0.04mg, 8/20--0.03mg, 8/28--0.02mg, 9/6--0.0205mg, 9/8--0.02mg, 9/17--0.015mg, 9/20--0.01mg, 9/21--0.0048mg, 9/22--0.0001mg,

Link to post
  • Mentor
FarmGirlWorks
On 6/3/2018 at 4:21 PM, Rosetta said:

I just hope that if my daughter sees me cry and then later sees that I'm not upset that maybe she will learn that bad emotions are temporary.  And if she sees my husband angry and then sees us apologize and be affectionate later that she will learn good behaviors from that, too.  Could that be better than never seeing ones parents upset with each other?

Yes, this, exactly. I totally think she'll see the temporary emotional states as just that -- temporary.

  • Prozac | late 2004-mid-2005 | CT WD in a couple months, mostly emotional
  • Sertraline 50-100mg | 11/2011-3/2014, 10/2014-3/2017
  • Sertraline fast taper March 2017, 4 weeks, OFF sertraline April 1, 2017
  • Quit alcohol May 20, 2017, quit coffee October 2017, quit cannabis 😩 July 2018
  • Magnesium powder, fish oil, estradiol, kombucha, gluten/dairy/histamine-lite
  • Lifestyle changes: AA, kundalini practice

 

"If you've seen a monster, even if it's horrible, that's evidence of divinity." – Damien Echols

 

Link to post
  • Moderator
brassmonkey

Here it is Lex, I'm so glad you've found it helpful.

 

Dealing With Emotional Spirals 

20 years on Paxil starting at 20mg and working up to 40mg. Sept 2011 started 10% every 6 weeks taper (2.5% every week for 4 weeks then hold for 2 additional weeks), currently at 7.9mg. Oct 2011 CTed 15oz vodka a night, to only drinking 2 beers most nights, totally sober Feb 2013.

Since I wrote this I have continued to decrease my dose by 10% every 6 weeks (2.5% every week for 4 weeks and then hold for an additional 2 weeks). I added in an extra 6 week hold when I hit 10mg to let things settle out even more. When I hit 3mgpw it became hard to split the drop into 4 parts so I switched to dropping 1mgpw (pill weight) every week for 3 weeks and then holding for another 3 weeks.  The 3 + 3 schedule turned out to be too harsh so I cut back to dropping 1mgpw every 4 weeks which is working better.

Current dose 0.000mg 04-15-2017

 

"It's also important not to become angry, no matter how difficult life is, because you can loose all hope if you can't laugh at yourself and at life in general."  Stephen Hawking

Link to post

Thanks tom! 

Thought I updated my post with the link included. Must have forgot to save it after editing.

 

Yes, it helped me greatly in understanding and coping during my reaction to magnisium. Master piece, what I call it.

 

Hope you are doing even greater !

Lex

Drug free Sep. 23 2017

2009 Mar.: lexapro 10mg for headache for 2 weeks.

2009-2012: on and off 1/4 to 1/3 of 10mg

2012 June--2013 Jan,: 1/4-1/3 of 10mg generic, bad jaw pain

2013 Jan-Mar: 10 mg generic. severe jaw and head pain;

2013 Mar--Aug. started tapering (liquid ever since) from 10 to 5 (one step) then gradually down to 2.25 mg by July. first ever panic attack, severe head/jaw pain

2013 Aug.: back to 2.75 mg; Nov: back to Brand Lex. 2.75mg -- 3mg,

2014 June: stopped PPI, head pressure/numbness. up-dosed 4.5mg, severe reaction mental symptoms added on

2014 Aug--2015 Aug: Micro taper down to 3.2mg, .025mg (<1%) cut holding 2-3 weeks.

2015 Aug 15th, Accidental one dose of 4.2mg. worsening brain non-functional, swollen head, body, coma like, DR

2016 Feb., started dosing 10am through 11 pm everyday 2/13--3.2mg, 3/15-- 2.9mg, 4/19-- 2.6mg, 6/26--2.2mg, 7/22 --1.9mg, 8/16--1.8mg,8/31--1.7m g, 9/13--1.6mg, 9/27--1.5mg, 10/8--1.4mg, 10/14--1.3mg, 11/1--1.2mg, 11/29--1.1mg, 12/12--1mg, 12/22--0.9mg

2017: 1/7--0.8mg, 1/15--0.7mg, 1/17--0.6mg, 1/20--0.52, 1/21--0.4mg, 1/22--0.26, 1/23--0.2, 2/13--0.13mg, 2/20--0.06mg, 3/18--0.13mg, 6/1--0.12mg, 7/6--0.1mg, 7/14--0.08mg, 8/17--0.04mg, 8/20--0.03mg, 8/28--0.02mg, 9/6--0.0205mg, 9/8--0.02mg, 9/17--0.015mg, 9/20--0.01mg, 9/21--0.0048mg, 9/22--0.0001mg,

Link to post

@LexAnger and Brassmonkey, Thank you both for the link and for checking in on me.

 

@Rabe @FarmGirlWorks Thanks for writing here.  It makes me feel less alone.

 

I haven't had much to say.  It seems that it's been longer since I posted.  Just 2 nights sleep.  That surprises me.  Those nights have been better than when I was struggling with nightly bad thoughts, and better than Saturday night when I woke up with muscle tension that drove me to lose my temper.  I did wake up with muscle tension this morning that concerned me, but I got through it and it lessened after I had breakfast.

 

Today was my daughter's last day of school.  Today was a half day.  I have 12 days with her now until a camp starts.  Not sure what we will do, but I'm optimistic that this time will be better than the other breaks from school have been.  

 

My cycle has never started again.  It's been about 60 days or so, I believe.  I suspect some of the muscle tension has been due to fluctuations in my hormones.  So, I think I'm having fewer and less severe symptoms due to a lack of hormones.  The magnesium is still at a low dose due to loose stools.  I wish I could take more, but maybe I should space it out through the day a little better.  

 

I've been feeling terribly lonely the last few days.  School being over is very difficult for me. The majority of my human contact is (barely) chatting with people at the school.  I'm going to have to make a big effort to schedule play dates this Summer.  I really don't like how isolated I am.  I wish I had been able to put on a last day of school party for Emma.  Maybe next year.  I hope so.  It was very depressing to walk away from the school with no plans this afternoon.  I doubt anyone had a party, but as I know no one, we weren't likely to be invited.  I had no idea I would feel so sad about that!

 

Things are positive overall.  I am much more functional now than I have been for months.  I think this Summer will be better than the last was.

https://www.survivingantidepressants.org/topic/16629-rosetta-ct-may-2011-too-fast-taper-feb-2017/?page=25

2001-2011 Celexa 10 mg raised to 40 mg then 60 mg over this time period

May 2011 OB Doctor's Cold switch Celexa 60 mg to 10 mg Zoloft sertraline (baby born)

2012-2016 - Doctors raised dose of Zoloft up to 150 mg

2016 - Xanax prescribed - as needed - 0.5 mg about every 3 days (bad reaction)

2016 - Stopped Xanax

Late 2016- Began (too fast) taper of Zoloft

Early 2017 - Trazodone prescribed for bedtime (doseage unknown)

Feb 2017 - Completed taper/stopped Trazodone

Drug free since Feb 2017

2017 - Unisom otc very rarely for sleep

Link to post

SO glad to hear your sleep has been better Rosetta...thats a gift for sure!  And your ability to put your feelings into words is really lovely...like journaling.  LOVE your daughters name!  Beautiful!!  I believe the two of you will have a special summer.  The isolation is SO difficult...I have never felt so alone in my life.  Grateful for all of you here!  Love and hugs Rosetta!!!♥️

-Nardil 1976 < year, stopped. Reactions to AD's. Klonopin .5BID ?1990, 2.5mg ? til 2016

-Klonopin doubled Jan '16. Tapered to 2.25mg May '16 to Nov '16, Heart raced after 1 Lexapro, stopped. Reacting to Prevacid to tapered off. Nov

-November '16 Tapered .25mg Klonopin in hospital. Jan 2 '17 started Viibryd, 20mg from 2/20 to 6/10 '17,     

-20mg to 10mg Viibryd from 3/25 to 6/10 2017, 12/15 10% Viibryd taper...back up next day

-Clonazepam 2mg to 1.85mg 4/14 '17 to end November; taper to 1mg Clonazepam in hospital 9/1 tp 9/14 '17

-Feb '18 Amiloride .25mg  5/18 off Amiloride d/t react. Clonaz compounded  

-4/27 '18 Viibryd 9.5mg, 6/11 9.0 mg, 1/27 '19 Viibryd 8.75mg, ; Clonazepam .2mg 530pm and .7mg 1130pm, Premarin .3mg 830PM CARAFATE QID 2/27/19 to 3/5/19

-July 6'19 1/2 10mg Claritin 230pm, stopped it about July 18, started Oct 11 '19, 

-7/27 Viibryd 8.5, 8/29 Viibryd 8.25 -10/18 Carafate 1/2 NOC-10/24 Viibryd 8.0, 12/6 Viibryd 7.75, K+ 10meq qd

-NOW 1115am-Viibryd 7.75mg, 3pm-K+ 5mg, 515pm-Clonaz .2mg, 6pm-K+ 5mg, 830pm-Premarin .3mg,1115pm-Clonaz .9mg, 115am Carafate .5gm.

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  • Mentor
FarmGirlWorks

Hang in there... isolation is tough, to be sure. You've got people who get it here. * Watched "The Gut: Our Second Brain" on Amazon Prime and it is now suggesting movies like, "Fantastical World of Hormones" and "The Brain That Changes Itself" --- I think you might enjoy them as you are already so well-spoken about this process. Just some new perspectives that I think you might like. (((((((( you ))))))))))

  • Prozac | late 2004-mid-2005 | CT WD in a couple months, mostly emotional
  • Sertraline 50-100mg | 11/2011-3/2014, 10/2014-3/2017
  • Sertraline fast taper March 2017, 4 weeks, OFF sertraline April 1, 2017
  • Quit alcohol May 20, 2017, quit coffee October 2017, quit cannabis 😩 July 2018
  • Magnesium powder, fish oil, estradiol, kombucha, gluten/dairy/histamine-lite
  • Lifestyle changes: AA, kundalini practice

 

"If you've seen a monster, even if it's horrible, that's evidence of divinity." – Damien Echols

 

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wantrelief
5 hours ago, Rosetta said:

Things are positive overall.  I am much more functional now than I have been for months. 

This is wonderful to hear, Rosetta!

 

5 hours ago, Rosetta said:

 I'm going to have to make a big effort to schedule play dates this Summer.  I really don't like how isolated I am.

The isolation of this illness is really hard.  It is great you already have come up with a solution to help with this during the summer.

 

Thinking about you and and sending big hugs - WR.

-1/06 - 3/07 Cymbalta. Fast taper; withdrawal symptoms after 4 mos (didn't realize was WD)

-10/07: 100 mg Zoloft; 1 mg Klonopin - tapered off Klonopin
-Tried several times to slowly taper Zoloft by 10%, then 5% every 4-6 weeks; could never get below approx. 40 mg - spring 2012 experienced major WD symptoms due to stress; tried to updose but no relief, back on Klonopin 1 mg.
-Switched over 5-6 mos from Zoloft to Citalopram. Finished Zoloft 1/13; Citalopram 35 mg and 1 mg Klonopin.
-8/13: 27 mg Citalopram; 1 mg Klonopin

-11/14: 12.6 Citalopram - began to have bad withdrawal symptoms; out of desperation increased to 1.25 mg Klonopin at the beginning of December.  12/13/14 16 mg Citalopram - going to stay here to try to stabilize; stabilized on 16 mg Citalopram after 4-5 months

-7/15 - 3/16: reduced to 15 mg; ~ 2 months later w/d hit hard (probably r/t stress); 6/16 updosed to 20 mg Citalopram and trying to stabilize. Updosed to 1.5 Klonopin as well. Stabilized on 20 mg Citalopram after 4-5 months

8/17-9/17: feeling withdrawal symptoms at 20 mg Citalopram (due to stress) - slowly increased to 25 mg. No change in symptoms after 6 months (? tolerance ?)  - decided to start citalopram taper February 2018 (still on Klonopin 1.5 mg).

Supplements: fish oil; vitamin D3; curcumin

Citalopram taper:  2/2018 - 12/2019: 25 mg - 11.03 mg

2020: 1/14/20: 10.89 mg (1.27% drop); 1/22/20: 10.75 mg (1.29% drop); 2/28/20 toe surgery; 4/26/20: 10.62 mg (1.21% drop); 5/3/20: 10.5 mg (1.22% drop); 5/10/20: 10.4 mg (1.24% drop); 5/17/20: 10.2 mg (1.25% drop); 6/7/20: 10.10 mg (1.27% drop); 6/14/20: 9.98 mg (1.19% drop); 6/21/20: 9.85 mg (1.30% drop); 6/28/20: 9.7 mg (1.22% drop); 7/12/20: 9.6 mg (1.23% drop); 7/19/20: 9.5 mg (1.25% drop); 7/26/20: 9.4 mg (1.26% drop); 8/2/20: 9.3 mg (1.28% drop); 8/17/20: 9.14 mg (1.19% drop); 8/31/20: 9.0 mg (1.31% drop); 9/6/20: 8.9 mg (1.22% drop); 9/27/20: 8.8 mg (1.23% drop); 10/4/20: 8.7 mg (1.25% drop); 10/11/20: 8.6 mg (1.27% drop); 10/18/20: 8.5 mg (1.28% drop); 11/8/20: 8.4 mg (1.18% drop); 11/15/20: 8.3 mg (1.19% drop); 11/22/20: 8.2 mg (1.21% drop)

Link to post

Thanks for the recommendations @FarmGirlWorks And for the hug!

Two more hugs from @Rabe and @wantrelief Thank you!!

 

I slept ok last night.  Each time I woke up I was able to accept this situation and go back to sleep.  I slept an extra hour this morning with a black out shade, eye pillow and fan for white noise.  That's showing progress.  Had a late breakfast, but I didn't get too anxious before I ate even though workmen were here for the dishwasher.  Now my neck hurts from reading.  Going to watch a bit of TV while my daughter is out for a short while with her dad.

 

https://www.survivingantidepressants.org/topic/16629-rosetta-ct-may-2011-too-fast-taper-feb-2017/?page=25

2001-2011 Celexa 10 mg raised to 40 mg then 60 mg over this time period

May 2011 OB Doctor's Cold switch Celexa 60 mg to 10 mg Zoloft sertraline (baby born)

2012-2016 - Doctors raised dose of Zoloft up to 150 mg

2016 - Xanax prescribed - as needed - 0.5 mg about every 3 days (bad reaction)

2016 - Stopped Xanax

Late 2016- Began (too fast) taper of Zoloft

Early 2017 - Trazodone prescribed for bedtime (doseage unknown)

Feb 2017 - Completed taper/stopped Trazodone

Drug free since Feb 2017

2017 - Unisom otc very rarely for sleep

Link to post
  • Moderator
brassmonkey

My wife Monica found that raising her laptop up on a pillow took a lot of pressure off of her neck and really helped cut down the pain she was having. Just an idea.

20 years on Paxil starting at 20mg and working up to 40mg. Sept 2011 started 10% every 6 weeks taper (2.5% every week for 4 weeks then hold for 2 additional weeks), currently at 7.9mg. Oct 2011 CTed 15oz vodka a night, to only drinking 2 beers most nights, totally sober Feb 2013.

Since I wrote this I have continued to decrease my dose by 10% every 6 weeks (2.5% every week for 4 weeks and then hold for an additional 2 weeks). I added in an extra 6 week hold when I hit 10mg to let things settle out even more. When I hit 3mgpw it became hard to split the drop into 4 parts so I switched to dropping 1mgpw (pill weight) every week for 3 weeks and then holding for another 3 weeks.  The 3 + 3 schedule turned out to be too harsh so I cut back to dropping 1mgpw every 4 weeks which is working better.

Current dose 0.000mg 04-15-2017

 

"It's also important not to become angry, no matter how difficult life is, because you can loose all hope if you can't laugh at yourself and at life in general."  Stephen Hawking

Link to post

Thanks, @brassmonkey. Yes, that would help.  I also need to stop reading the news for many reasons!  

https://www.survivingantidepressants.org/topic/16629-rosetta-ct-may-2011-too-fast-taper-feb-2017/?page=25

2001-2011 Celexa 10 mg raised to 40 mg then 60 mg over this time period

May 2011 OB Doctor's Cold switch Celexa 60 mg to 10 mg Zoloft sertraline (baby born)

2012-2016 - Doctors raised dose of Zoloft up to 150 mg

2016 - Xanax prescribed - as needed - 0.5 mg about every 3 days (bad reaction)

2016 - Stopped Xanax

Late 2016- Began (too fast) taper of Zoloft

Early 2017 - Trazodone prescribed for bedtime (doseage unknown)

Feb 2017 - Completed taper/stopped Trazodone

Drug free since Feb 2017

2017 - Unisom otc very rarely for sleep

Link to post

Wow Rosetta!  SO grateful to hear that!  Yes, progress indeed!  ♥️

-Nardil 1976 < year, stopped. Reactions to AD's. Klonopin .5BID ?1990, 2.5mg ? til 2016

-Klonopin doubled Jan '16. Tapered to 2.25mg May '16 to Nov '16, Heart raced after 1 Lexapro, stopped. Reacting to Prevacid to tapered off. Nov

-November '16 Tapered .25mg Klonopin in hospital. Jan 2 '17 started Viibryd, 20mg from 2/20 to 6/10 '17,     

-20mg to 10mg Viibryd from 3/25 to 6/10 2017, 12/15 10% Viibryd taper...back up next day

-Clonazepam 2mg to 1.85mg 4/14 '17 to end November; taper to 1mg Clonazepam in hospital 9/1 tp 9/14 '17

-Feb '18 Amiloride .25mg  5/18 off Amiloride d/t react. Clonaz compounded  

-4/27 '18 Viibryd 9.5mg, 6/11 9.0 mg, 1/27 '19 Viibryd 8.75mg, ; Clonazepam .2mg 530pm and .7mg 1130pm, Premarin .3mg 830PM CARAFATE QID 2/27/19 to 3/5/19

-July 6'19 1/2 10mg Claritin 230pm, stopped it about July 18, started Oct 11 '19, 

-7/27 Viibryd 8.5, 8/29 Viibryd 8.25 -10/18 Carafate 1/2 NOC-10/24 Viibryd 8.0, 12/6 Viibryd 7.75, K+ 10meq qd

-NOW 1115am-Viibryd 7.75mg, 3pm-K+ 5mg, 515pm-Clonaz .2mg, 6pm-K+ 5mg, 830pm-Premarin .3mg,1115pm-Clonaz .9mg, 115am Carafate .5gm.

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  • Moderator Emeritus
9 hours ago, Rosetta said:

Thanks for the recommendations @FarmGirlWorks And for the hug!

Two more hugs from @Rabe and @wantrelief Thank you!!

 

I slept ok last night.  Each time I woke up I was able to accept this situation and go back to sleep.  I slept an extra hour this morning with a black out shade, eye pillow and fan for white noise.  That's showing progress.  Had a late breakfast, but I didn't get too anxious before I ate even though workmen were here for the dishwasher.  Now my neck hurts from reading.  Going to watch a bit of TV while my daughter is out for a short while with her dad.

 

 

Hi Rosetta, 

 

Glad you slept okay last night. Acceptance really is the key, isn’t it? That’s great you didn’t stress too much every time you woke up.

 

Okay, you’ve got some great strategies happening there with your black out shades, eye pillow and fan for white noise. When you say eye pillow, is that an eye mask?

 

Sending hugs🤗

Been on antipsychotics, benzos, antidepressants and painkillers for chronic pain. 

Have been cold turkeyed and put on and off all sorts of things.  Was suicidal n ended up in a psych ward because I had akathisia from withdrawals. I can’t remember what I was put on but when I was released was in the same predicament with severe akathisia n was suicidal again.

Back to the psych ward and I was given a number of different drugs while there. Tapered off one when I got home n have been trying to taper off Seroquel since. It’s been years, tapering slowly but still having severe withdrawals.

I’ve  tapered from 300mg of Seroquel to 7.5mg./ March 10th 2019=7.25mg / 17th of April 2019= 7mg / June 5th=6.75mg/ July 14th=6.50mg/ 28th of August=6.25mg/ 10th of Oct= 6.20mg/ 21st October 6mg/ 16th of December 5.80mg/21st of January 5.60mg/

 

I AM NOT A MEDICAL PROFESSIONAL. These are my own views based on what I’ve experienced myself.

 

 

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Last night's sleep was good.

 

Dystonia returned yesterday.  I read a lot yesterday.  I read a book.  It was supposed to be funny, but it wasn't.  After 88 pages it just got worse and is raising my anxiety.  So, I'm done with it.  I shouldn't read or type when I have dystonia.  Those things make it worse.  The dystonia is very annoying in my neck and jaw and chest and my temple now that I've been writing here.

 

I'm thinking of all the things I'm grateful for instead of focusing on withdrawal.  But I have to say that Kate Spade's death is bothering me a lot.  I didn't even know she was a real person until Tuesday, but I know there are hundreds of people struggling under the "care" of psychiatrists. For all I know she had a good psychiatrist who knew about withdrawal, but the end result was . . . Well, I wish she had made it to the point where I am now in this journey -- that's all.  I feel terrible for her daughter.

 

So, in the gratitude list there is the fact that I'm still here for my daughter.  I want to be here even though I'm suffering.

 

I can eat much more easily now.  Last night I ate something I didn't like, but I ate it.  That's new.  

 

I'm sleeping better.  

 

I feel less sadness for the things I've lost even though I still think about them.

 

Anxiety is much lower.  It's still there, but the trajectory is toward the anxiety fading out to almost nothing!  I'm so happy about that. 

 

I'm getting better at avoiding the spirals.

 

I hope everyone makes it to where I am now.  I'm feeling hopeful occasionally.  I'm looking forward to things -- sort of -- there's still a fair amount of anticipatory anxiety.  I suppose I'm strong enough to feel that I can go places and do things.  Having the distraction of doing things is great.  Tv and books only go so far.  I need to be out in the sunshine walking around.  

 

Carmie, yes, eye pillow is another name for sleep mask.  Thanks for your note.  I hope you are doing ok today.

https://www.survivingantidepressants.org/topic/16629-rosetta-ct-may-2011-too-fast-taper-feb-2017/?page=25

2001-2011 Celexa 10 mg raised to 40 mg then 60 mg over this time period

May 2011 OB Doctor's Cold switch Celexa 60 mg to 10 mg Zoloft sertraline (baby born)

2012-2016 - Doctors raised dose of Zoloft up to 150 mg

2016 - Xanax prescribed - as needed - 0.5 mg about every 3 days (bad reaction)

2016 - Stopped Xanax

Late 2016- Began (too fast) taper of Zoloft

Early 2017 - Trazodone prescribed for bedtime (doseage unknown)

Feb 2017 - Completed taper/stopped Trazodone

Drug free since Feb 2017

2017 - Unisom otc very rarely for sleep

Link to post

Hello.

I'm glad you are seeing improvements and hope you see many more. 

 

I don't mean to bring this up on your thread but you had mentioned Kate Spade.. Was she on medicine or recently came off?

In June 2014 I was taking Celexa for 2 days, 25 mg zoloft 8 weeks, 10 mg Paxil 3 months and 10 mg Lexapro 1 month tapered off in 2 wks.. Was on a total of 6 months had side effects to them all. Went off and had my first panic attack a month later in January 2015. In March 2015 was having stomach issues and was put on Xanax for a week Dr. Said it was anxiety. End of that week woke up heart racing so was put back on Lexapro 5 MG and the next night is when my sleep got messed up. Literally not sleeping

Was it the Xanax or lexapro?? Went off sleep on and off and taking Xanax on and off. The end of April 2015 tried Buspar for 2 days and had side effects and could not sleep at all. Middle of May 2015 went on Ambien and lexapro again. Inner vibration started. Switched to paxil. Went off Ambien in June 2015 and off Paxil July 2015. October 2015 got worse went of zoloft 12.5 mg through December 2015. I was tolerating what I was going through January and February 2016. Then March got worse with horrible panic. Tried hypnotherapy in May 2016 a couple times couldn't Relax when she started counting backwards it freaked me out. Started not sleeping again in May. Went back on Xanax for 2 months May-July 2016. Tried liquid Prozac 5 mg then 10 mg side effects July - August then switched Zoloft 12.5 mg August - September 2016. Been off antidepressants since September 5, 2016. Been off Xanax since July 28, 2016, but I have taken it 8 other times since then through May 2017. Have symptoms going on with agoraphobia. Is this withdrawal??

May 2017 feeling horrible and more intense symptoms.

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3 minutes ago, BAT said:

I don't mean to bring this up on your thread but you had mentioned Kate Spade.. Was she on medicine or recently came off?

Her husband made a statement that she was being treated with medication for depression and anxiety. https://www.nytimes.com/2018/06/06/style/andy-spade-statement.html

So sad!

Dalalea's Introduction

Off All SSRI Medications: Effexor 2010 one month
Sertraline 50 mg. but only took 25 mg. daily because of dizziness. 2010 to July 2017

Tapered over 2 months beginning the 1st of June 2017 -- Off Sertraline by July 30, 2017

Current Medication: Losartan (blood pressure), Albuterol (for asthma- only as needed)
Current Symptoms: tinnitus, hearing loss in one ear, allergies

My Plan: Prayer, Scripture, Walk, Yoga, Encourage Others, Healthy Eating
Generic SSRI Withdrawal Symptom and Plan Checklists and Graph.xlsx

Current Supplements: Magnesium Threonate, Fish Oil, probiotic, B-12, C, D-3

Current Essential Oils: Frankincense, Bergamot, Orange, Lemon, Lavender, Peppermint, Clove
Current Essential Oil Blends: Brain Power, Clarity, Stress Away

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  • Moderator Emeritus

Rosetta and everyone, I thought the exact same thing about Kate Spade. No doubt "treatment" included psych drugs. 

Current: 2019: 0.04 mg Paxil!! This is real. Soon, after taking Paxil my entire adult life, I will be free.

Long story short: After 18 years on Paxil, "tapered" almost completely off over a month, at doctor's advice in July 2015.

Self-care includes magnesium, reasonable exercise, mindfulness, this forum and nutrition/eating enough food.

Also on 100 mg Zoloft unfortunately!! (which I now will have the knowledge to taper properly)

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Longer version: On Paxil since 1996--anxiety & depression caused by (undiagnosed) under-eating / eating disorder.

Doctor kept increasing dose, up to 60 mg; it never really helped but said it really was the best "med" for me.

Rapid doctor-led "taper" July 2015, down to 5 mg, with Zoloft as a "cross-taper" = Essentially a cold turkey. 

Severe withdrawal but didn't know it; believed it was my "underlying condition," and kept tapering, 5mg to 4 to 3  to 2 to 1.  

Feb 2016: Found SA! As of June 2016, tapering from 1mg at rate of 5-10% per month, Brassmonkey Slide! 

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the lady was self medicating with alcohol also in the bit I read ,many variables but the alcohol is a major red flag .please no one compare themselves to these tragic cases .there is so much going on .

Respect .

Alcohol free since February 2015 

1MG diazepam

4.5MG PROZAC.

 

 

 

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4 hours ago, Rosetta said:

I'm still here for my daughter

SO big! I feel the same. I am here for my kids!

New hopefully cleaner, signature

2001 - Klonopin (.125 mg) for anxiety and sleep at night.

2010 - depressed, tried several SSRI's, settled in 2011 on Saphris (5 mg)

2011 - Dystonic reaction from Saphris. CT. Terrible withdrawal. Panic. 

2011 - Attempts to stablize: Klonopin 1.0 mg. Xanax 1mg. Geoden 20mg. Wellbutrin 100mg. Tried at this time: Seroquel, Cymbalta, Lamictal 

2014 - Vyvanse 20 mg/ADHD, Gabapentin 300 mg added/bladder pain. Wellbutrin fast taper/Rash.

2016 - Depressed - Lithium 300mg til June/Rash and only marginally effective.

2017 - June - Saphris 5 mg added cogentin for side effects

2017 - September Fast taper Saphris. Aug 29. Terrible withdrawal. Panic.

2017 - Attempts to stablize: Lithium: Aug 31 - Sept 9. Stopped. Geoden 40mg Sept 9. Fast taper to 20 mg Sept 13.  Reinstated Saphris Sept 9 (1.25 mg), updosed the Saphris Sept 11 (.2.5mg) .Vyvanse 5mg for ADHD Stopped Sept 14, reinstated sept 17. Cut to 3mg sometime in March.

Omezerpole/reflux. Fish oil supplements. .5 cogentin for possible reactions to Saphris. Oct 25 water taper of Geoden 20mg,  11/18 next 10% drop. Hold at 16.2mg. Dec 12 begin Saphris 2.5 mg taper on scale. Rapid taper doc rec./bad idea. Hold at 1.2mg, updose 2/13. Split Geoden dose 11AM/12mg 7:30PM/6mg. 3/26 Updose Geoden by 2mg to 18mg. Dec 1 split Klonopin dose. 3/23 12 hours apart 3/27. 6/18 1 mg klonopin split 12 hours apart. Sometime in Feb. Klonopin increase to 1.5 to avoid hospital. 6/4 updose Saphris to .015mg July 1 cut Saphris to .014mg. July 29 .013 Aug 29 .012 Sept 29 .011Oct 29 .010 Dec 6 .009 (0.9 mgai) Jan 26 .008 (0.8mgai) Feb 25 (0.7mgai) March 25 (0.6mgai) May 24 begin liquid taper. Cut sublingual tab to .020 in 5ML water. Pull out 1.25ML (.05mgai) 6/14 1ML .025 dry dose dissolved (.045mgai) 7/7 .Dissolve .025 in 8ML drink .009ML 7/28Dissolve .025 in 8ML drink .008ML. 8/18 Jumping! 1/10/20 Geoden taper 18mg to 16mg.2/14 14mg. 3/20 13mg 4/29 11mg 5/21 10mg/6/13 9mg/7/4 8mg/7/24 7mg 8/4 6mg 11/8 5.4mg

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I too felt very sad...makes me afraid sometimes.  

 

You continue to do so well Rosetta even when you're struggling...your offer so much hope and I want to say thank you for that and so much more...you are most special!  You are there for your daughter and she is very blessed to have you! Hope your sleep and muscles calm....♥️

-Nardil 1976 < year, stopped. Reactions to AD's. Klonopin .5BID ?1990, 2.5mg ? til 2016

-Klonopin doubled Jan '16. Tapered to 2.25mg May '16 to Nov '16, Heart raced after 1 Lexapro, stopped. Reacting to Prevacid to tapered off. Nov

-November '16 Tapered .25mg Klonopin in hospital. Jan 2 '17 started Viibryd, 20mg from 2/20 to 6/10 '17,     

-20mg to 10mg Viibryd from 3/25 to 6/10 2017, 12/15 10% Viibryd taper...back up next day

-Clonazepam 2mg to 1.85mg 4/14 '17 to end November; taper to 1mg Clonazepam in hospital 9/1 tp 9/14 '17

-Feb '18 Amiloride .25mg  5/18 off Amiloride d/t react. Clonaz compounded  

-4/27 '18 Viibryd 9.5mg, 6/11 9.0 mg, 1/27 '19 Viibryd 8.75mg, ; Clonazepam .2mg 530pm and .7mg 1130pm, Premarin .3mg 830PM CARAFATE QID 2/27/19 to 3/5/19

-July 6'19 1/2 10mg Claritin 230pm, stopped it about July 18, started Oct 11 '19, 

-7/27 Viibryd 8.5, 8/29 Viibryd 8.25 -10/18 Carafate 1/2 NOC-10/24 Viibryd 8.0, 12/6 Viibryd 7.75, K+ 10meq qd

-NOW 1115am-Viibryd 7.75mg, 3pm-K+ 5mg, 515pm-Clonaz .2mg, 6pm-K+ 5mg, 830pm-Premarin .3mg,1115pm-Clonaz .9mg, 115am Carafate .5gm.

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  • Moderator Emeritus

It’s so lovely to read the improvements you’ve been having Rosetta, 

 

Your daughter must really appreciate how much you are there for her despite how sick you are. You are an example to all.

 

Im glad you feel strong enough to go places. It’s not good to be stuck home all the time, is it? Sunshine does us good, being in nature does us good. I love just hoping on a bus and going somewhere. 

 

I think I might hit the art gallery and museum some time this month. Being around interesting places helps get us a little bit out of our heads as this journey is the worst thing we will ever go through. 

 

Keep up the the good work, you sound very positive. It’s up, down, up, down though, isn’t it? One day at a time is all we can do.

 

Take care💚💚💚💚

Been on antipsychotics, benzos, antidepressants and painkillers for chronic pain. 

Have been cold turkeyed and put on and off all sorts of things.  Was suicidal n ended up in a psych ward because I had akathisia from withdrawals. I can’t remember what I was put on but when I was released was in the same predicament with severe akathisia n was suicidal again.

Back to the psych ward and I was given a number of different drugs while there. Tapered off one when I got home n have been trying to taper off Seroquel since. It’s been years, tapering slowly but still having severe withdrawals.

I’ve  tapered from 300mg of Seroquel to 7.5mg./ March 10th 2019=7.25mg / 17th of April 2019= 7mg / June 5th=6.75mg/ July 14th=6.50mg/ 28th of August=6.25mg/ 10th of Oct= 6.20mg/ 21st October 6mg/ 16th of December 5.80mg/21st of January 5.60mg/

 

I AM NOT A MEDICAL PROFESSIONAL. These are my own views based on what I’ve experienced myself.

 

 

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Yesterday, we went to the zoo with a friend and her little girl.  Our kids went to preschool together.  I didn't sit and read or type all day.  The dystonia lessened and nearly went away.  It did not bother me in the night.  I slept pretty well.  If my daughter hadn't awakened me at 6:30, I would have had more sleep.

 

My emotions are all over the place.  I feel so terribly lonely.  Yesterday, my friend divulged that her daughter went to the birthday parties of two of my daughter's preschool friends.  At the parties they saw many of my daughter's other friends, and she named one who was also invited.  This made me immensely sad.  My daughter wasn't invited.  (My friend isn't very good with manners apparently.). My daughter was confused, but I hope she's doesn't understand what this means.  After preschool she went to kinder with one of the girls who had one party.  All of my daughter's kindergarten friends must have been there, too.  My friend pointed this out as in "oh, we must have seen people you know."  It's the way it goes, but I'm just very sad and so isolated.

 

Today, I am still very, very sad.   It takes such effort to keep reaching out to people, and I don't have the energy.  We started over at the new school for first grade.  No moms from kinder call me.  I have to call them.  They are usually busy.  There was only one birthday party my daughter was invited to this year -- one kid from preschool.  She had only one play date friend out of her new class.  I couldn't invite people over or make contacts stronger except for this one family.  At the old school my daughter didn't click with most of the girls.  She played with one little boy most of the time.  That's probably why she got no birthday invites from any of them this year.

 

I'll just have to make an effort next year at this new school to help my daughter make friends.  Hopefully, by the Fall I'll have more energy.  

https://www.survivingantidepressants.org/topic/16629-rosetta-ct-may-2011-too-fast-taper-feb-2017/?page=25

2001-2011 Celexa 10 mg raised to 40 mg then 60 mg over this time period

May 2011 OB Doctor's Cold switch Celexa 60 mg to 10 mg Zoloft sertraline (baby born)

2012-2016 - Doctors raised dose of Zoloft up to 150 mg

2016 - Xanax prescribed - as needed - 0.5 mg about every 3 days (bad reaction)

2016 - Stopped Xanax

Late 2016- Began (too fast) taper of Zoloft

Early 2017 - Trazodone prescribed for bedtime (doseage unknown)

Feb 2017 - Completed taper/stopped Trazodone

Drug free since Feb 2017

2017 - Unisom otc very rarely for sleep

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wantrelief

Oh Rosetta, I am so sorry you feel so lonely.  Your friend certainly does not have manners.  It must have been so hard to hear the news she divulged.  I too have been hurt in hearing about mutual friends of mine who have gotten together without me.  I think you are right in saying in time you will have more energy to reach out.  For now congratulate yourself in going out yesterday to the zoo - that is an amazing accomplishment and one that takes a lot of energy (walking and socializing).  

-1/06 - 3/07 Cymbalta. Fast taper; withdrawal symptoms after 4 mos (didn't realize was WD)

-10/07: 100 mg Zoloft; 1 mg Klonopin - tapered off Klonopin
-Tried several times to slowly taper Zoloft by 10%, then 5% every 4-6 weeks; could never get below approx. 40 mg - spring 2012 experienced major WD symptoms due to stress; tried to updose but no relief, back on Klonopin 1 mg.
-Switched over 5-6 mos from Zoloft to Citalopram. Finished Zoloft 1/13; Citalopram 35 mg and 1 mg Klonopin.
-8/13: 27 mg Citalopram; 1 mg Klonopin

-11/14: 12.6 Citalopram - began to have bad withdrawal symptoms; out of desperation increased to 1.25 mg Klonopin at the beginning of December.  12/13/14 16 mg Citalopram - going to stay here to try to stabilize; stabilized on 16 mg Citalopram after 4-5 months

-7/15 - 3/16: reduced to 15 mg; ~ 2 months later w/d hit hard (probably r/t stress); 6/16 updosed to 20 mg Citalopram and trying to stabilize. Updosed to 1.5 Klonopin as well. Stabilized on 20 mg Citalopram after 4-5 months

8/17-9/17: feeling withdrawal symptoms at 20 mg Citalopram (due to stress) - slowly increased to 25 mg. No change in symptoms after 6 months (? tolerance ?)  - decided to start citalopram taper February 2018 (still on Klonopin 1.5 mg).

Supplements: fish oil; vitamin D3; curcumin

Citalopram taper:  2/2018 - 12/2019: 25 mg - 11.03 mg

2020: 1/14/20: 10.89 mg (1.27% drop); 1/22/20: 10.75 mg (1.29% drop); 2/28/20 toe surgery; 4/26/20: 10.62 mg (1.21% drop); 5/3/20: 10.5 mg (1.22% drop); 5/10/20: 10.4 mg (1.24% drop); 5/17/20: 10.2 mg (1.25% drop); 6/7/20: 10.10 mg (1.27% drop); 6/14/20: 9.98 mg (1.19% drop); 6/21/20: 9.85 mg (1.30% drop); 6/28/20: 9.7 mg (1.22% drop); 7/12/20: 9.6 mg (1.23% drop); 7/19/20: 9.5 mg (1.25% drop); 7/26/20: 9.4 mg (1.26% drop); 8/2/20: 9.3 mg (1.28% drop); 8/17/20: 9.14 mg (1.19% drop); 8/31/20: 9.0 mg (1.31% drop); 9/6/20: 8.9 mg (1.22% drop); 9/27/20: 8.8 mg (1.23% drop); 10/4/20: 8.7 mg (1.25% drop); 10/11/20: 8.6 mg (1.27% drop); 10/18/20: 8.5 mg (1.28% drop); 11/8/20: 8.4 mg (1.18% drop); 11/15/20: 8.3 mg (1.19% drop); 11/22/20: 8.2 mg (1.21% drop)

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Oh rosseta, bless your heart. You have such a tender love to your kids. I know how you feel as I'm a mother too.

Try not to be hard on yourself. Even I was able when my son was little, looking back I always regret many things I should have done but not doe to lack of awarenees. Parents just want to do everything possible for their kids and you will find you eill never be able to do them all

 

You will do a lot more when you are better, more than a parent who is not in your situation can.

 

Hugs.

Lex

Drug free Sep. 23 2017

2009 Mar.: lexapro 10mg for headache for 2 weeks.

2009-2012: on and off 1/4 to 1/3 of 10mg

2012 June--2013 Jan,: 1/4-1/3 of 10mg generic, bad jaw pain

2013 Jan-Mar: 10 mg generic. severe jaw and head pain;

2013 Mar--Aug. started tapering (liquid ever since) from 10 to 5 (one step) then gradually down to 2.25 mg by July. first ever panic attack, severe head/jaw pain

2013 Aug.: back to 2.75 mg; Nov: back to Brand Lex. 2.75mg -- 3mg,

2014 June: stopped PPI, head pressure/numbness. up-dosed 4.5mg, severe reaction mental symptoms added on

2014 Aug--2015 Aug: Micro taper down to 3.2mg, .025mg (<1%) cut holding 2-3 weeks.

2015 Aug 15th, Accidental one dose of 4.2mg. worsening brain non-functional, swollen head, body, coma like, DR

2016 Feb., started dosing 10am through 11 pm everyday 2/13--3.2mg, 3/15-- 2.9mg, 4/19-- 2.6mg, 6/26--2.2mg, 7/22 --1.9mg, 8/16--1.8mg,8/31--1.7m g, 9/13--1.6mg, 9/27--1.5mg, 10/8--1.4mg, 10/14--1.3mg, 11/1--1.2mg, 11/29--1.1mg, 12/12--1mg, 12/22--0.9mg

2017: 1/7--0.8mg, 1/15--0.7mg, 1/17--0.6mg, 1/20--0.52, 1/21--0.4mg, 1/22--0.26, 1/23--0.2, 2/13--0.13mg, 2/20--0.06mg, 3/18--0.13mg, 6/1--0.12mg, 7/6--0.1mg, 7/14--0.08mg, 8/17--0.04mg, 8/20--0.03mg, 8/28--0.02mg, 9/6--0.0205mg, 9/8--0.02mg, 9/17--0.015mg, 9/20--0.01mg, 9/21--0.0048mg, 9/22--0.0001mg,

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  • ChessieCat changed the title to Rosetta: cold switch May 2011 & too fast taper Feb 2017

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