wantrelief Posted June 1, 2018 Share Posted June 1, 2018 Such wonderful improvements, Rosetta! I second what Hazel said, that in time you will be able to feel happy about it. -1/06 - 3/07 Cymbalta. Fast taper (essentially CT); withdrawal symptoms after 4 mos (didn't realize was WD) -10/07: 100 mg Zoloft; 1 mg Klonopin - tapered off Klonopin after 4 mos. Several unsuccessful slow tapers of Zoloft; went up and down in dose a lot -Spring 2013 back on 1 mg Klonopin to counter WD symptoms; switched over 5-6 mos from Zoloft to 35 mg citalopram -Two attempts at slow tapering citalopram, always increased dose due to WD; also increased Klonopin to 1.25 mg in 2014, then to 1.5 mg in 2015 -8/17-9/17: After holding one year at 20 mg, feeling withdrawal symptoms due to stress - slowly increased to 25 mg. No change in symptoms after 6 months (? tolerance ?) - decided to start citalopram taper February 2018 (still on Klonopin 1.5 mg). Supplements: fish oil; magnesium; vitamin D3; curcumin Citalopram taper: 2/2018 - 12/2019: 25 mg - 11.03 mg I 2020: 10.89 mg - 7.9 mg I 2021: 7.8 mg - 5.26 mg I 2022: 5.2 mg - 3.36 mg I 2023: 3.3 mg - 1.47 mg 2024: 1/5/24: 1.44 mg; 1/19/24: 1.40 mg; 1/26/24: 1.37 mg; 2/2/24: 1.34 mg; 2/9/24: 1.31 mg; 2/23/24: 1.28 mg; 3/1/24: 1.25 mg; 3/8/24: 1.22 mg; 3/15/24: 1.19 mg; 3/29/24: 1.17 mg; 4/5/24: 1.14 mg; 4/13/24: 1.11 mg; 4/20/24: 1.09 mg Link to comment
Mentor FarmGirlWorks Posted June 3, 2018 Mentor Share Posted June 3, 2018 On 5/31/2018 at 7:19 PM, Rosetta said: I feel "bad." I'm sad, I'm anhedonic, I'm frustrated with my life, but I'm becoming capable of doing more. I expect this improvement to continue so I'm aware that I should be "happy." It's odd to know I should feel happy, but I don't. In fact, it's frustrating! How bizarre. Exactly, @Rosetta. Doing things, accomplishing more (but welling up with anxiety when I begin to think about how much more there was) and thinking I should feel happy or satisfied but I do not. But we will, hopefully, feel the sense of accomplishment someday. Compared to your posts a few months ago, you have made progress. It's just hard to see when you feel bad. Prozac | late 2004-mid-2005 | CT WD in a couple months, mostly emotional Sertraline 50-100mg | 11/2011-3/2014, 10/2014-3/2017 Sertraline fast taper March 2017, 4 weeks, OFF sertraline April 1, 2017 Quit alcohol May 20, 2017 Lifestyle changes: AA, kundalini yoga "If you've seen a monster, even if it's horrible, that's evidence of divinity." – Damien Echols Link to comment
TryingToHoldOn Posted June 3, 2018 Share Posted June 3, 2018 Thank you for your comment on my thread. I know it’s hard to see when you’re in it, but I have seen a lot of healing taking place on your thread. Taking care of your daughter, after school activities, play dates, visiting with friends, etc. In a past life, these activities would be unremarkable, but it is truly an accomplishment during withdrawal. You are moving in the right direction. I hope to get to where you are some day. Wishing you continued healing and endurance to make it to the finish line. Mid 2014 - June 2016 (~ 2.5 yrs): sertraline 75mg. Under advice of my Pysch NP, weaned off in 1 month Sept 2017 - Feb 2017 (6 months): Latuda (dose 20mg up to 80mg). Under advice of Psych NP, weaned off in 6 weeks (Jan - mid Feb). Tirtated down 20mg every 2 weeks. Nov 2017 - Feb 2017 (3 months): lamictal 100mg. Abruptly taken off. This was the "wean": 100mg, 50mg, then off Feb 2017: sertraline 150mg for 1 week to bring me out of a severe suicidal depression. Abruptly stopped due to serotonin syndrome. Tried to reinstate 50mg a week later, but the serotonin syndrome symptoms came back. Not possible to reinstate sertraline. March 2017: remeron 7.5mg. Took one dose that knocked me out for two days. Refused to take it again February 2017 - March 2017: Ativan 1mg. Took 5 pills total spread out over the course of 3 weeks. No longer taking it. 6/16/18 - 6/26: celexa 1.25mg 6/27/18 - 6/29: celexa 2.5mg, 6/29 had burning and agitation within 30min of dose 6/30/18 - present: celexa 1.25mg Link to comment
Rosetta Posted June 3, 2018 Author Share Posted June 3, 2018 Thank you, @TryingToHoldOn. It is difficult to keep going, but we must. There is no other option. You will be where I am, and then even better. @FarmGirlWorks I know you are in a similar phase. We have made progress, and I'm grateful for that progress. I wish it were enough. Journal: I had a very bad night. We were at my mother in law's empty place, and I knew before we went that I was "going down the rabbit hole." We should not have stayed the night. I need my routine, my familiar space, etc, in the night. How this affects my daughter is very troubling, too. I have no way out but through. How I wish there were another way. My defenses are so low in the night. Avoiding a spiral is nearly impossible. I didn't have my eye pillow, and I overheated. I woke up and started to panic. I keep hoping I am past the point of losing my cool in front of my daughter, and then I find that I'm not. If he gets angry I panic even more. I feel afraid because he is clearly afraid. He says he's not sure that I will get well. I am sure, finally, but now he's not?!! I suppose it's natural, but what a kick in the gut. Well, documenting this is making me feel worse so I'll stop. I just hope that if my daughter sees me cry and then later sees that I'm not upset that maybe she will learn that bad emotions are temporary. And if she sees my husband angry and then sees us apologize and be affectionate later that she will learn good behaviors from that, too. Could that be better than never seeing ones parents upset with each other? https://www.survivingantidepressants.org/topic/16629-rosetta-ct-may-2011-too-fast-taper-feb-2017/?page=25 2001-2011 Celexa 10 mg raised to 40 mg then 60 mg over this time period May 2011 OB Doctor's Cold switch Celexa 60 mg to 10 mg Zoloft sertraline (baby born) 2012-2016 - Doctors raised dose of Zoloft up to 150 mg 2016 - Xanax prescribed - as needed - 0.5 mg about every 3 days (bad reaction) 2016 - Stopped Xanax Late 2016- Began (too fast) taper of Zoloft Early 2017 - Trazodone prescribed for bedtime (doseage unknown) Feb 2017 - Completed taper/stopped Trazodone Drug free since Feb 2017 2017 - Unisom otc very rarely for sleep Link to comment
Rabe Posted June 4, 2018 Share Posted June 4, 2018 Im sorry Rosetta! I think that would be very difficult...not to have what you need for your routine and sleep. I think it is a good thing that he feels safe enough to have his feelings too...says a lot about both of you. And I think that is very good for your daughter...I truly do! ♥️ -Nardil 1976 < year, stopped. React to AD's. Klonopin .5BID 1990, 2.5mg til 2016 -Klonopin doubled Jan '16. Taper to 2.25mg May to Nov '16. Bad react to Lexapro, stop. React to Prevacid too, taper off. -November '16 Tapered .25mg Klonopin in hospital. Jan '17 started Viibryd, 20mg from Feb to June '17, -20mg to 10mg Viibryd from 3/25 to 6/10 2017, 12/15 10% Viibryd taper...back up next day -Clonazepam 2mg to 1.85mg 4/14 '17 to end November; taper to 1mg Clonazepam in hospital 9/1 tp 9/14 '17 -Feb '18 Amiloride .25mg 5/18 off Amiloride d/t react. Clonaz compounded -4/27 '18 Viibryd 9.5mg, 6/11 9.0 mg, 1/27 '19 Viibryd 8.75mg, ; Clonazepam .2mg 530pm and .7mg 1130pm, Premarin .3mg 830PM CARAFATE QID 2/27/19 to 3/5/19 -July 6'19 1/2 10mg Claritin 230pm, stopped it about July 18, started Oct 11 '19, -7/27 Viibryd 8.5, 8/29 8.25, 10/24 8.0, 12/19 7.75, Feb '20 7.50, 3/20 7.25, 5/20 7.0, 6/20 6.75, 7/20 6.5, 8/20 6.25, 10/2 20 6.0, 11/25'20 5.75, 1/9/21 5.5, 2/23 5.25 -1015 AM Viibryd, vit D 4,000IU 130, 415 Clonazepam .2mg, 815 Premarin .3mg, 1015 Clonaz .7mg, 1115 3t fish oil+D 1145 Castor Oil 650mg(4) 1230 Carafate 1/2GM,Methylated B Vit 1/week,Reacted Mag prn Link to comment
LexAnger Posted June 5, 2018 Share Posted June 5, 2018 Hi rosseta, emotional spiral in wd is a very tough one to deal with. It's even harder to think about the possible effects on your kids. I feel your concern. I remember last time I was going through a insane emotional spiral at work freaking out with everyone including my boss! I then found the topic on this one that explained very well how these emotions run etc. And some coping skills confound quite helpful. I will find it and paste the link to you thread, in case you haven't seen it. Wish you peace ! Lex Drug free Sep. 23 2017 2009 Mar.: lexapro 10mg for headache for 2 weeks. 2009-2012: on and off 1/4 to 1/3 of 10mg 2012 June--2013 Jan,: 1/4-1/3 of 10mg generic, bad jaw pain 2013 Jan-Mar: 10 mg generic. severe jaw and head pain; 2013 Mar--Aug. started tapering (liquid ever since) from 10 to 5 (one step) then gradually down to 2.25 mg by July. first ever panic attack, severe head/jaw pain 2013 Aug.: back to 2.75 mg; Nov: back to Brand Lex. 2.75mg -- 3mg, 2014 June: stopped PPI, head pressure/numbness. up-dosed 4.5mg, severe reaction mental symptoms added on 2014 Aug--2015 Aug: Micro taper down to 3.2mg, .025mg (<1%) cut holding 2-3 weeks. 2015 Aug 15th, Accidental one dose of 4.2mg. worsening brain non-functional, swollen head, body, coma like, DR 2016 Feb., started dosing 10am through 11 pm everyday 2/13--3.2mg, 3/15-- 2.9mg, 4/19-- 2.6mg, 6/26--2.2mg, 7/22 --1.9mg, 8/16--1.8mg，8/31--1.7m g, 9/13--1.6mg, 9/27--1.5mg, 10/8--1.4mg, 10/14--1.3mg， 11/1--1.2mg, 11/29--1.1mg, 12/12--1mg, 12/22--0.9mg 2017: 1/7--0.8mg, 1/15--0.7mg, 1/17--0.6mg, 1/20--0.52, 1/21--0.4mg, 1/22--0.26, 1/23--0.2, 2/13--0.13mg, 2/20--0.06mg, 3/18--0.13mg, 6/1--0.12mg, 7/6--0.1mg, 7/14--0.08mg, 8/17--0.04mg, 8/20--0.03mg, 8/28--0.02mg, 9/6--0.0205mg, 9/8--0.02mg, 9/17--0.015mg, 9/20--0.01mg, 9/21--0.0048mg, 9/22--0.0001mg, Link to comment
Mentor FarmGirlWorks Posted June 5, 2018 Mentor Share Posted June 5, 2018 On 6/3/2018 at 4:21 PM, Rosetta said: I just hope that if my daughter sees me cry and then later sees that I'm not upset that maybe she will learn that bad emotions are temporary. And if she sees my husband angry and then sees us apologize and be affectionate later that she will learn good behaviors from that, too. Could that be better than never seeing ones parents upset with each other? Yes, this, exactly. I totally think she'll see the temporary emotional states as just that -- temporary. Prozac | late 2004-mid-2005 | CT WD in a couple months, mostly emotional Sertraline 50-100mg | 11/2011-3/2014, 10/2014-3/2017 Sertraline fast taper March 2017, 4 weeks, OFF sertraline April 1, 2017 Quit alcohol May 20, 2017 Lifestyle changes: AA, kundalini yoga "If you've seen a monster, even if it's horrible, that's evidence of divinity." – Damien Echols Link to comment
Moderator brassmonkey Posted June 5, 2018 Moderator Share Posted June 5, 2018 Here it is Lex, I'm so glad you've found it helpful. Dealing With Emotional Spirals 20 years on Paxil starting at 20mg and working up to 40mg. Sept 2011 started 10% every 6 weeks taper (2.5% every week for 4 weeks then hold for 2 additional weeks), currently at 7.9mg. Oct 2011 CTed 15oz vodka a night, to only drinking 2 beers most nights, totally sober Feb 2013. Since I wrote this I have continued to decrease my dose by 10% every 6 weeks (2.5% every week for 4 weeks and then hold for an additional 2 weeks). I added in an extra 6 week hold when I hit 10mg to let things settle out even more. When I hit 3mgpw it became hard to split the drop into 4 parts so I switched to dropping 1mgpw (pill weight) every week for 3 weeks and then holding for another 3 weeks. The 3 + 3 schedule turned out to be too harsh so I cut back to dropping 1mgpw every 4 weeks which is working better. Final Dose 0.016mg. Current dose 0.000mg 04-15-2017 "It's also important not to become angry, no matter how difficult life is, because you can loose all hope if you can't laugh at yourself and at life in general." Stephen Hawking Link to comment
LexAnger Posted June 5, 2018 Share Posted June 5, 2018 Thanks tom! Thought I updated my post with the link included. Must have forgot to save it after editing. Yes, it helped me greatly in understanding and coping during my reaction to magnisium. Master piece, what I call it. Hope you are doing even greater ! Lex Drug free Sep. 23 2017 2009 Mar.: lexapro 10mg for headache for 2 weeks. 2009-2012: on and off 1/4 to 1/3 of 10mg 2012 June--2013 Jan,: 1/4-1/3 of 10mg generic, bad jaw pain 2013 Jan-Mar: 10 mg generic. severe jaw and head pain; 2013 Mar--Aug. started tapering (liquid ever since) from 10 to 5 (one step) then gradually down to 2.25 mg by July. first ever panic attack, severe head/jaw pain 2013 Aug.: back to 2.75 mg; Nov: back to Brand Lex. 2.75mg -- 3mg, 2014 June: stopped PPI, head pressure/numbness. up-dosed 4.5mg, severe reaction mental symptoms added on 2014 Aug--2015 Aug: Micro taper down to 3.2mg, .025mg (<1%) cut holding 2-3 weeks. 2015 Aug 15th, Accidental one dose of 4.2mg. worsening brain non-functional, swollen head, body, coma like, DR 2016 Feb., started dosing 10am through 11 pm everyday 2/13--3.2mg, 3/15-- 2.9mg, 4/19-- 2.6mg, 6/26--2.2mg, 7/22 --1.9mg, 8/16--1.8mg，8/31--1.7m g, 9/13--1.6mg, 9/27--1.5mg, 10/8--1.4mg, 10/14--1.3mg， 11/1--1.2mg, 11/29--1.1mg, 12/12--1mg, 12/22--0.9mg 2017: 1/7--0.8mg, 1/15--0.7mg, 1/17--0.6mg, 1/20--0.52, 1/21--0.4mg, 1/22--0.26, 1/23--0.2, 2/13--0.13mg, 2/20--0.06mg, 3/18--0.13mg, 6/1--0.12mg, 7/6--0.1mg, 7/14--0.08mg, 8/17--0.04mg, 8/20--0.03mg, 8/28--0.02mg, 9/6--0.0205mg, 9/8--0.02mg, 9/17--0.015mg, 9/20--0.01mg, 9/21--0.0048mg, 9/22--0.0001mg, Link to comment
Rosetta Posted June 5, 2018 Author Share Posted June 5, 2018 @LexAnger and Brassmonkey, Thank you both for the link and for checking in on me. @Rabe @FarmGirlWorks Thanks for writing here. It makes me feel less alone. I haven't had much to say. It seems that it's been longer since I posted. Just 2 nights sleep. That surprises me. Those nights have been better than when I was struggling with nightly bad thoughts, and better than Saturday night when I woke up with muscle tension that drove me to lose my temper. I did wake up with muscle tension this morning that concerned me, but I got through it and it lessened after I had breakfast. Today was my daughter's last day of school. Today was a half day. I have 12 days with her now until a camp starts. Not sure what we will do, but I'm optimistic that this time will be better than the other breaks from school have been. My cycle has never started again. It's been about 60 days or so, I believe. I suspect some of the muscle tension has been due to fluctuations in my hormones. So, I think I'm having fewer and less severe symptoms due to a lack of hormones. The magnesium is still at a low dose due to loose stools. I wish I could take more, but maybe I should space it out through the day a little better. I've been feeling terribly lonely the last few days. School being over is very difficult for me. The majority of my human contact is (barely) chatting with people at the school. I'm going to have to make a big effort to schedule play dates this Summer. I really don't like how isolated I am. I wish I had been able to put on a last day of school party for Emma. Maybe next year. I hope so. It was very depressing to walk away from the school with no plans this afternoon. I doubt anyone had a party, but as I know no one, we weren't likely to be invited. I had no idea I would feel so sad about that! Things are positive overall. I am much more functional now than I have been for months. I think this Summer will be better than the last was. https://www.survivingantidepressants.org/topic/16629-rosetta-ct-may-2011-too-fast-taper-feb-2017/?page=25 2001-2011 Celexa 10 mg raised to 40 mg then 60 mg over this time period May 2011 OB Doctor's Cold switch Celexa 60 mg to 10 mg Zoloft sertraline (baby born) 2012-2016 - Doctors raised dose of Zoloft up to 150 mg 2016 - Xanax prescribed - as needed - 0.5 mg about every 3 days (bad reaction) 2016 - Stopped Xanax Late 2016- Began (too fast) taper of Zoloft Early 2017 - Trazodone prescribed for bedtime (doseage unknown) Feb 2017 - Completed taper/stopped Trazodone Drug free since Feb 2017 2017 - Unisom otc very rarely for sleep Link to comment
Rabe Posted June 6, 2018 Share Posted June 6, 2018 SO glad to hear your sleep has been better Rosetta...thats a gift for sure! And your ability to put your feelings into words is really lovely...like journaling. LOVE your daughters name! Beautiful!! I believe the two of you will have a special summer. The isolation is SO difficult...I have never felt so alone in my life. Grateful for all of you here! Love and hugs Rosetta!!!♥️ -Nardil 1976 < year, stopped. React to AD's. Klonopin .5BID 1990, 2.5mg til 2016 -Klonopin doubled Jan '16. Taper to 2.25mg May to Nov '16. Bad react to Lexapro, stop. React to Prevacid too, taper off. -November '16 Tapered .25mg Klonopin in hospital. Jan '17 started Viibryd, 20mg from Feb to June '17, -20mg to 10mg Viibryd from 3/25 to 6/10 2017, 12/15 10% Viibryd taper...back up next day -Clonazepam 2mg to 1.85mg 4/14 '17 to end November; taper to 1mg Clonazepam in hospital 9/1 tp 9/14 '17 -Feb '18 Amiloride .25mg 5/18 off Amiloride d/t react. Clonaz compounded -4/27 '18 Viibryd 9.5mg, 6/11 9.0 mg, 1/27 '19 Viibryd 8.75mg, ; Clonazepam .2mg 530pm and .7mg 1130pm, Premarin .3mg 830PM CARAFATE QID 2/27/19 to 3/5/19 -July 6'19 1/2 10mg Claritin 230pm, stopped it about July 18, started Oct 11 '19, -7/27 Viibryd 8.5, 8/29 8.25, 10/24 8.0, 12/19 7.75, Feb '20 7.50, 3/20 7.25, 5/20 7.0, 6/20 6.75, 7/20 6.5, 8/20 6.25, 10/2 20 6.0, 11/25'20 5.75, 1/9/21 5.5, 2/23 5.25 -1015 AM Viibryd, vit D 4,000IU 130, 415 Clonazepam .2mg, 815 Premarin .3mg, 1015 Clonaz .7mg, 1115 3t fish oil+D 1145 Castor Oil 650mg(4) 1230 Carafate 1/2GM,Methylated B Vit 1/week,Reacted Mag prn Link to comment
Mentor FarmGirlWorks Posted June 6, 2018 Mentor Share Posted June 6, 2018 Hang in there... isolation is tough, to be sure. You've got people who get it here. * Watched "The Gut: Our Second Brain" on Amazon Prime and it is now suggesting movies like, "Fantastical World of Hormones" and "The Brain That Changes Itself" --- I think you might enjoy them as you are already so well-spoken about this process. Just some new perspectives that I think you might like. (((((((( you )))))))))) Prozac | late 2004-mid-2005 | CT WD in a couple months, mostly emotional Sertraline 50-100mg | 11/2011-3/2014, 10/2014-3/2017 Sertraline fast taper March 2017, 4 weeks, OFF sertraline April 1, 2017 Quit alcohol May 20, 2017 Lifestyle changes: AA, kundalini yoga "If you've seen a monster, even if it's horrible, that's evidence of divinity." – Damien Echols Link to comment
wantrelief Posted June 6, 2018 Share Posted June 6, 2018 5 hours ago, Rosetta said: Things are positive overall. I am much more functional now than I have been for months. This is wonderful to hear, Rosetta! 5 hours ago, Rosetta said: I'm going to have to make a big effort to schedule play dates this Summer. I really don't like how isolated I am. The isolation of this illness is really hard. It is great you already have come up with a solution to help with this during the summer. Thinking about you and and sending big hugs - WR. -1/06 - 3/07 Cymbalta. Fast taper (essentially CT); withdrawal symptoms after 4 mos (didn't realize was WD) -10/07: 100 mg Zoloft; 1 mg Klonopin - tapered off Klonopin after 4 mos. Several unsuccessful slow tapers of Zoloft; went up and down in dose a lot -Spring 2013 back on 1 mg Klonopin to counter WD symptoms; switched over 5-6 mos from Zoloft to 35 mg citalopram -Two attempts at slow tapering citalopram, always increased dose due to WD; also increased Klonopin to 1.25 mg in 2014, then to 1.5 mg in 2015 -8/17-9/17: After holding one year at 20 mg, feeling withdrawal symptoms due to stress - slowly increased to 25 mg. No change in symptoms after 6 months (? tolerance ?) - decided to start citalopram taper February 2018 (still on Klonopin 1.5 mg). Supplements: fish oil; magnesium; vitamin D3; curcumin Citalopram taper: 2/2018 - 12/2019: 25 mg - 11.03 mg I 2020: 10.89 mg - 7.9 mg I 2021: 7.8 mg - 5.26 mg I 2022: 5.2 mg - 3.36 mg I 2023: 3.3 mg - 1.47 mg 2024: 1/5/24: 1.44 mg; 1/19/24: 1.40 mg; 1/26/24: 1.37 mg; 2/2/24: 1.34 mg; 2/9/24: 1.31 mg; 2/23/24: 1.28 mg; 3/1/24: 1.25 mg; 3/8/24: 1.22 mg; 3/15/24: 1.19 mg; 3/29/24: 1.17 mg; 4/5/24: 1.14 mg; 4/13/24: 1.11 mg; 4/20/24: 1.09 mg Link to comment
Rosetta Posted June 6, 2018 Author Share Posted June 6, 2018 Thanks for the recommendations @FarmGirlWorks And for the hug! Two more hugs from @Rabe and @wantrelief Thank you!! I slept ok last night. Each time I woke up I was able to accept this situation and go back to sleep. I slept an extra hour this morning with a black out shade, eye pillow and fan for white noise. That's showing progress. Had a late breakfast, but I didn't get too anxious before I ate even though workmen were here for the dishwasher. Now my neck hurts from reading. Going to watch a bit of TV while my daughter is out for a short while with her dad. https://www.survivingantidepressants.org/topic/16629-rosetta-ct-may-2011-too-fast-taper-feb-2017/?page=25 2001-2011 Celexa 10 mg raised to 40 mg then 60 mg over this time period May 2011 OB Doctor's Cold switch Celexa 60 mg to 10 mg Zoloft sertraline (baby born) 2012-2016 - Doctors raised dose of Zoloft up to 150 mg 2016 - Xanax prescribed - as needed - 0.5 mg about every 3 days (bad reaction) 2016 - Stopped Xanax Late 2016- Began (too fast) taper of Zoloft Early 2017 - Trazodone prescribed for bedtime (doseage unknown) Feb 2017 - Completed taper/stopped Trazodone Drug free since Feb 2017 2017 - Unisom otc very rarely for sleep Link to comment
Moderator brassmonkey Posted June 6, 2018 Moderator Share Posted June 6, 2018 My wife Monica found that raising her laptop up on a pillow took a lot of pressure off of her neck and really helped cut down the pain she was having. Just an idea. 20 years on Paxil starting at 20mg and working up to 40mg. Sept 2011 started 10% every 6 weeks taper (2.5% every week for 4 weeks then hold for 2 additional weeks), currently at 7.9mg. Oct 2011 CTed 15oz vodka a night, to only drinking 2 beers most nights, totally sober Feb 2013. Since I wrote this I have continued to decrease my dose by 10% every 6 weeks (2.5% every week for 4 weeks and then hold for an additional 2 weeks). I added in an extra 6 week hold when I hit 10mg to let things settle out even more. When I hit 3mgpw it became hard to split the drop into 4 parts so I switched to dropping 1mgpw (pill weight) every week for 3 weeks and then holding for another 3 weeks. The 3 + 3 schedule turned out to be too harsh so I cut back to dropping 1mgpw every 4 weeks which is working better. Final Dose 0.016mg. Current dose 0.000mg 04-15-2017 "It's also important not to become angry, no matter how difficult life is, because you can loose all hope if you can't laugh at yourself and at life in general." Stephen Hawking Link to comment
Rosetta Posted June 6, 2018 Author Share Posted June 6, 2018 Thanks, @brassmonkey. Yes, that would help. I also need to stop reading the news for many reasons! https://www.survivingantidepressants.org/topic/16629-rosetta-ct-may-2011-too-fast-taper-feb-2017/?page=25 2001-2011 Celexa 10 mg raised to 40 mg then 60 mg over this time period May 2011 OB Doctor's Cold switch Celexa 60 mg to 10 mg Zoloft sertraline (baby born) 2012-2016 - Doctors raised dose of Zoloft up to 150 mg 2016 - Xanax prescribed - as needed - 0.5 mg about every 3 days (bad reaction) 2016 - Stopped Xanax Late 2016- Began (too fast) taper of Zoloft Early 2017 - Trazodone prescribed for bedtime (doseage unknown) Feb 2017 - Completed taper/stopped Trazodone Drug free since Feb 2017 2017 - Unisom otc very rarely for sleep Link to comment
Rabe Posted June 7, 2018 Share Posted June 7, 2018 Wow Rosetta! SO grateful to hear that! Yes, progress indeed! ♥️ -Nardil 1976 < year, stopped. React to AD's. Klonopin .5BID 1990, 2.5mg til 2016 -Klonopin doubled Jan '16. Taper to 2.25mg May to Nov '16. Bad react to Lexapro, stop. React to Prevacid too, taper off. -November '16 Tapered .25mg Klonopin in hospital. Jan '17 started Viibryd, 20mg from Feb to June '17, -20mg to 10mg Viibryd from 3/25 to 6/10 2017, 12/15 10% Viibryd taper...back up next day -Clonazepam 2mg to 1.85mg 4/14 '17 to end November; taper to 1mg Clonazepam in hospital 9/1 tp 9/14 '17 -Feb '18 Amiloride .25mg 5/18 off Amiloride d/t react. Clonaz compounded -4/27 '18 Viibryd 9.5mg, 6/11 9.0 mg, 1/27 '19 Viibryd 8.75mg, ; Clonazepam .2mg 530pm and .7mg 1130pm, Premarin .3mg 830PM CARAFATE QID 2/27/19 to 3/5/19 -July 6'19 1/2 10mg Claritin 230pm, stopped it about July 18, started Oct 11 '19, -7/27 Viibryd 8.5, 8/29 8.25, 10/24 8.0, 12/19 7.75, Feb '20 7.50, 3/20 7.25, 5/20 7.0, 6/20 6.75, 7/20 6.5, 8/20 6.25, 10/2 20 6.0, 11/25'20 5.75, 1/9/21 5.5, 2/23 5.25 -1015 AM Viibryd, vit D 4,000IU 130, 415 Clonazepam .2mg, 815 Premarin .3mg, 1015 Clonaz .7mg, 1115 3t fish oil+D 1145 Castor Oil 650mg(4) 1230 Carafate 1/2GM,Methylated B Vit 1/week,Reacted Mag prn Link to comment
Moderator Emeritus Carmie Posted June 7, 2018 Moderator Emeritus Share Posted June 7, 2018 9 hours ago, Rosetta said: Thanks for the recommendations @FarmGirlWorks And for the hug! Two more hugs from @Rabe and @wantrelief Thank you!! I slept ok last night. Each time I woke up I was able to accept this situation and go back to sleep. I slept an extra hour this morning with a black out shade, eye pillow and fan for white noise. That's showing progress. Had a late breakfast, but I didn't get too anxious before I ate even though workmen were here for the dishwasher. Now my neck hurts from reading. Going to watch a bit of TV while my daughter is out for a short while with her dad. Hi Rosetta, Glad you slept okay last night. Acceptance really is the key, isn’t it? That’s great you didn’t stress too much every time you woke up. Okay, you’ve got some great strategies happening there with your black out shades, eye pillow and fan for white noise. When you say eye pillow, is that an eye mask? Sending hugs🤗 Seroquel. 2019:➡️ From 7.25mg to 5.80mg✔️ 2020➡️From 5.60 to 4.80✔️ 2021➡️From 4.60 to 4.0✔️ 2022➡️From 3.95 to 3.55✔️2023➡️ Jan 26=3.50✔️March 17=3.45✔️ June12=3.40✔️ July30=3.35✔️ Sep14=3.30✔️ Oct31=3.25✔️ 2024➡️Jan15=3.20✔️ Feb19=3.15✔️ March26=3.10✔️This is NOT medical advice.Consult your doctor. Link to comment
Rosetta Posted June 7, 2018 Author Share Posted June 7, 2018 Last night's sleep was good. Dystonia returned yesterday. I read a lot yesterday. I read a book. It was supposed to be funny, but it wasn't. After 88 pages it just got worse and is raising my anxiety. So, I'm done with it. I shouldn't read or type when I have dystonia. Those things make it worse. The dystonia is very annoying in my neck and jaw and chest and my temple now that I've been writing here. I'm thinking of all the things I'm grateful for instead of focusing on withdrawal. But I have to say that Kate Spade's death is bothering me a lot. I didn't even know she was a real person until Tuesday, but I know there are hundreds of people struggling under the "care" of psychiatrists. For all I know she had a good psychiatrist who knew about withdrawal, but the end result was . . . Well, I wish she had made it to the point where I am now in this journey -- that's all. I feel terrible for her daughter. So, in the gratitude list there is the fact that I'm still here for my daughter. I want to be here even though I'm suffering. I can eat much more easily now. Last night I ate something I didn't like, but I ate it. That's new. I'm sleeping better. I feel less sadness for the things I've lost even though I still think about them. Anxiety is much lower. It's still there, but the trajectory is toward the anxiety fading out to almost nothing! I'm so happy about that. I'm getting better at avoiding the spirals. I hope everyone makes it to where I am now. I'm feeling hopeful occasionally. I'm looking forward to things -- sort of -- there's still a fair amount of anticipatory anxiety. I suppose I'm strong enough to feel that I can go places and do things. Having the distraction of doing things is great. Tv and books only go so far. I need to be out in the sunshine walking around. Carmie, yes, eye pillow is another name for sleep mask. Thanks for your note. I hope you are doing ok today. https://www.survivingantidepressants.org/topic/16629-rosetta-ct-may-2011-too-fast-taper-feb-2017/?page=25 2001-2011 Celexa 10 mg raised to 40 mg then 60 mg over this time period May 2011 OB Doctor's Cold switch Celexa 60 mg to 10 mg Zoloft sertraline (baby born) 2012-2016 - Doctors raised dose of Zoloft up to 150 mg 2016 - Xanax prescribed - as needed - 0.5 mg about every 3 days (bad reaction) 2016 - Stopped Xanax Late 2016- Began (too fast) taper of Zoloft Early 2017 - Trazodone prescribed for bedtime (doseage unknown) Feb 2017 - Completed taper/stopped Trazodone Drug free since Feb 2017 2017 - Unisom otc very rarely for sleep Link to comment
BAT Posted June 7, 2018 Share Posted June 7, 2018 Hello. I'm glad you are seeing improvements and hope you see many more. I don't mean to bring this up on your thread but you had mentioned Kate Spade.. Was she on medicine or recently came off? In June 2014 I was taking Celexa for 2 days, 25 mg zoloft 8 weeks, 10 mg Paxil 3 months and 10 mg Lexapro 1 month tapered off in 2 wks.. Was on a total of 6 months had side effects to them all. Went off and had my first panic attack a month later in January 2015. In March 2015 was having stomach issues and was put on Xanax for a week Dr. Said it was anxiety. End of that week woke up heart racing so was put back on Lexapro 5 MG and the next night is when my sleep got messed up. Literally not sleeping Was it the Xanax or lexapro?? Went off sleep on and off and taking Xanax on and off. The end of April 2015 tried Buspar for 2 days and had side effects and could not sleep at all. Middle of May 2015 went on Ambien and lexapro again. Inner vibration started. Switched to paxil. Went off Ambien in June 2015 and off Paxil July 2015. October 2015 got worse went of zoloft 12.5 mg through December 2015. I was tolerating what I was going through January and February 2016. Then March got worse with horrible panic. Tried hypnotherapy in May 2016 a couple times couldn't Relax when she started counting backwards it freaked me out. Started not sleeping again in May. Went back on Xanax for 2 months May-July 2016. Tried liquid Prozac 5 mg then 10 mg side effects July - August then switched Zoloft 12.5 mg August - September 2016. Been off antidepressants since September 5, 2016. Been off Xanax since July 28, 2016, but I have taken it 8 other times since then through May 2017. Have symptoms going on with agoraphobia. Is this withdrawal?? May 2017 feeling horrible and more intense symptoms. Link to comment
Dalalea Posted June 7, 2018 Share Posted June 7, 2018 3 minutes ago, BAT said: I don't mean to bring this up on your thread but you had mentioned Kate Spade.. Was she on medicine or recently came off? Her husband made a statement that she was being treated with medication for depression and anxiety. https://www.nytimes.com/2018/06/06/style/andy-spade-statement.html So sad! Dalalea's Introduction Off All SSRI Medications: Effexor 2010 one monthSertraline 50 mg. but only took 25 mg. daily because of dizziness. 2010 to July 2017 Tapered over 2 months beginning the 1st of June 2017 -- Off Sertraline by July 30, 2017 Current Medication: Losartan (blood pressure), Albuterol (for asthma- only as needed)Current Symptoms: tinnitus, hearing loss in one ear, allergies My Plan: Prayer, Scripture, Walk, Yoga, Encourage Others, Healthy EatingGeneric SSRI Withdrawal Symptom and Plan Checklists and Graph.xlsx Current Supplements: Magnesium Threonate, Fish Oil, probiotic, B-12, C, D-3 Current Essential Oils: Frankincense, Bergamot, Orange, Lemon, Lavender, Peppermint, CloveCurrent Essential Oil Blends: Brain Power, Clarity, Stress Away Link to comment
Moderator Emeritus SkyBlue Posted June 7, 2018 Moderator Emeritus Share Posted June 7, 2018 Rosetta and everyone, I thought the exact same thing about Kate Spade. No doubt "treatment" included psych drugs. 2020: After 18+ years (entire adult life) on Paxil, a dangerous doctor-led "taper" in 2015, and four years tapering off the last 1 mg thanks to SA and the Brassmonkey slide, I AM COMPLETELY FREE OF PAXIL! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! Forever. 2021: Began conservative, proper, CNS-respecting taper of Zoloft, led by the only expert on me -- me. Making own liquid. 5-10% plus holds. 2022: Holding on Zoloft for now. Current dose 47 mg. Hanging in, hanging on. Severe protracted PAWS, windows and waves. While I may not be doing "a lot" by outside standards, things are graaaaadually getting better. Yoga (gentle to medium); walks; daily breath practice; nutrition, fruits/veg; nature; water; EastEnders (lol); practicing self-compassion, self-care; boundaries; connection; allowing feelings; t r u s t ing that I, too, will heal. (--> may need to be reminded of this.) "You are not alone, and this is not the end of your story." - Baylissa Link to comment
powerback Posted June 7, 2018 Share Posted June 7, 2018 the lady was self medicating with alcohol also in the bit I read ,many variables but the alcohol is a major red flag .please no one compare themselves to these tragic cases .there is so much going on . Respect . Alcohol free since February 2015 1MG diazepam 4.5MG PROZAC. Link to comment
DMV64 Posted June 7, 2018 Share Posted June 7, 2018 4 hours ago, Rosetta said: I'm still here for my daughter SO big! I feel the same. I am here for my kids! 2001- Klonopin 0.125 mg. 2011- increase to 1 mg. 2018- increase to 1.5 mg. Taper 2023-2024. Taper complete! 2010- Trials of SSRI's, several. 2011- Saphris 5 mg. CT. 6/2017- retry Saphris 5 mg sublingual, begin taper August 2020 10% taper with scale, and final taper liquid sublingual, August 2019- taper complete! 2011- Geodon 20 mg. Begin taper Sept 2019. 10% liquid taper. 2020: December-5 mg. 2021: Jan-4.5mg. (held Feb.for vacation). March-4mg. Apr-3.6mg. May-3.2mg. June-2.8mg. (Held July for vacation). Aug-2.4mg. Sept.- 2.2mg. Oct. 2mg. Dec 2022 - Taper complete! 2011- Gabapentin 300 mg to present- 2020. Increase 2023 to 400mg. 2014- Vyvanse 20 mg, 2020- Vyvanse 5 mg. Increase August 2022 20mg. CT (unavailable) 4/2023 2016- Lithium 300 mg, June 2016 - FT. 2017- Cogentin 0.5 mg. June-August 2019- off Cogentin. 2018- Lamictal 300mg. Holding 2021 - Hydroxyzine 30mg. Holding. 2014 Omeprazole 20 mg and holding, Omega 3's/fish oil, Magnesium Link to comment
Rabe Posted June 8, 2018 Share Posted June 8, 2018 I too felt very sad...makes me afraid sometimes. You continue to do so well Rosetta even when you're struggling...your offer so much hope and I want to say thank you for that and so much more...you are most special! You are there for your daughter and she is very blessed to have you! Hope your sleep and muscles calm....♥️ -Nardil 1976 < year, stopped. React to AD's. Klonopin .5BID 1990, 2.5mg til 2016 -Klonopin doubled Jan '16. Taper to 2.25mg May to Nov '16. Bad react to Lexapro, stop. React to Prevacid too, taper off. -November '16 Tapered .25mg Klonopin in hospital. Jan '17 started Viibryd, 20mg from Feb to June '17, -20mg to 10mg Viibryd from 3/25 to 6/10 2017, 12/15 10% Viibryd taper...back up next day -Clonazepam 2mg to 1.85mg 4/14 '17 to end November; taper to 1mg Clonazepam in hospital 9/1 tp 9/14 '17 -Feb '18 Amiloride .25mg 5/18 off Amiloride d/t react. Clonaz compounded -4/27 '18 Viibryd 9.5mg, 6/11 9.0 mg, 1/27 '19 Viibryd 8.75mg, ; Clonazepam .2mg 530pm and .7mg 1130pm, Premarin .3mg 830PM CARAFATE QID 2/27/19 to 3/5/19 -July 6'19 1/2 10mg Claritin 230pm, stopped it about July 18, started Oct 11 '19, -7/27 Viibryd 8.5, 8/29 8.25, 10/24 8.0, 12/19 7.75, Feb '20 7.50, 3/20 7.25, 5/20 7.0, 6/20 6.75, 7/20 6.5, 8/20 6.25, 10/2 20 6.0, 11/25'20 5.75, 1/9/21 5.5, 2/23 5.25 -1015 AM Viibryd, vit D 4,000IU 130, 415 Clonazepam .2mg, 815 Premarin .3mg, 1015 Clonaz .7mg, 1115 3t fish oil+D 1145 Castor Oil 650mg(4) 1230 Carafate 1/2GM,Methylated B Vit 1/week,Reacted Mag prn Link to comment
Moderator Emeritus Carmie Posted June 8, 2018 Moderator Emeritus Share Posted June 8, 2018 It’s so lovely to read the improvements you’ve been having Rosetta, Your daughter must really appreciate how much you are there for her despite how sick you are. You are an example to all. Im glad you feel strong enough to go places. It’s not good to be stuck home all the time, is it? Sunshine does us good, being in nature does us good. I love just hoping on a bus and going somewhere. I think I might hit the art gallery and museum some time this month. Being around interesting places helps get us a little bit out of our heads as this journey is the worst thing we will ever go through. Keep up the the good work, you sound very positive. It’s up, down, up, down though, isn’t it? One day at a time is all we can do. Take care💚💚💚💚 Seroquel. 2019:➡️ From 7.25mg to 5.80mg✔️ 2020➡️From 5.60 to 4.80✔️ 2021➡️From 4.60 to 4.0✔️ 2022➡️From 3.95 to 3.55✔️2023➡️ Jan 26=3.50✔️March 17=3.45✔️ June12=3.40✔️ July30=3.35✔️ Sep14=3.30✔️ Oct31=3.25✔️ 2024➡️Jan15=3.20✔️ Feb19=3.15✔️ March26=3.10✔️This is NOT medical advice.Consult your doctor. Link to comment
Rosetta Posted June 8, 2018 Author Share Posted June 8, 2018 Yesterday, we went to the zoo with a friend and her little girl. Our kids went to preschool together. I didn't sit and read or type all day. The dystonia lessened and nearly went away. It did not bother me in the night. I slept pretty well. If my daughter hadn't awakened me at 6:30, I would have had more sleep. My emotions are all over the place. I feel so terribly lonely. Yesterday, my friend divulged that her daughter went to the birthday parties of two of my daughter's preschool friends. At the parties they saw many of my daughter's other friends, and she named one who was also invited. This made me immensely sad. My daughter wasn't invited. (My friend isn't very good with manners apparently.). My daughter was confused, but I hope she's doesn't understand what this means. After preschool she went to kinder with one of the girls who had one party. All of my daughter's kindergarten friends must have been there, too. My friend pointed this out as in "oh, we must have seen people you know." It's the way it goes, but I'm just very sad and so isolated. Today, I am still very, very sad. It takes such effort to keep reaching out to people, and I don't have the energy. We started over at the new school for first grade. No moms from kinder call me. I have to call them. They are usually busy. There was only one birthday party my daughter was invited to this year -- one kid from preschool. She had only one play date friend out of her new class. I couldn't invite people over or make contacts stronger except for this one family. At the old school my daughter didn't click with most of the girls. She played with one little boy most of the time. That's probably why she got no birthday invites from any of them this year. I'll just have to make an effort next year at this new school to help my daughter make friends. Hopefully, by the Fall I'll have more energy. https://www.survivingantidepressants.org/topic/16629-rosetta-ct-may-2011-too-fast-taper-feb-2017/?page=25 2001-2011 Celexa 10 mg raised to 40 mg then 60 mg over this time period May 2011 OB Doctor's Cold switch Celexa 60 mg to 10 mg Zoloft sertraline (baby born) 2012-2016 - Doctors raised dose of Zoloft up to 150 mg 2016 - Xanax prescribed - as needed - 0.5 mg about every 3 days (bad reaction) 2016 - Stopped Xanax Late 2016- Began (too fast) taper of Zoloft Early 2017 - Trazodone prescribed for bedtime (doseage unknown) Feb 2017 - Completed taper/stopped Trazodone Drug free since Feb 2017 2017 - Unisom otc very rarely for sleep Link to comment
wantrelief Posted June 8, 2018 Share Posted June 8, 2018 Oh Rosetta, I am so sorry you feel so lonely. Your friend certainly does not have manners. It must have been so hard to hear the news she divulged. I too have been hurt in hearing about mutual friends of mine who have gotten together without me. I think you are right in saying in time you will have more energy to reach out. For now congratulate yourself in going out yesterday to the zoo - that is an amazing accomplishment and one that takes a lot of energy (walking and socializing). -1/06 - 3/07 Cymbalta. Fast taper (essentially CT); withdrawal symptoms after 4 mos (didn't realize was WD) -10/07: 100 mg Zoloft; 1 mg Klonopin - tapered off Klonopin after 4 mos. Several unsuccessful slow tapers of Zoloft; went up and down in dose a lot -Spring 2013 back on 1 mg Klonopin to counter WD symptoms; switched over 5-6 mos from Zoloft to 35 mg citalopram -Two attempts at slow tapering citalopram, always increased dose due to WD; also increased Klonopin to 1.25 mg in 2014, then to 1.5 mg in 2015 -8/17-9/17: After holding one year at 20 mg, feeling withdrawal symptoms due to stress - slowly increased to 25 mg. No change in symptoms after 6 months (? tolerance ?) - decided to start citalopram taper February 2018 (still on Klonopin 1.5 mg). Supplements: fish oil; magnesium; vitamin D3; curcumin Citalopram taper: 2/2018 - 12/2019: 25 mg - 11.03 mg I 2020: 10.89 mg - 7.9 mg I 2021: 7.8 mg - 5.26 mg I 2022: 5.2 mg - 3.36 mg I 2023: 3.3 mg - 1.47 mg 2024: 1/5/24: 1.44 mg; 1/19/24: 1.40 mg; 1/26/24: 1.37 mg; 2/2/24: 1.34 mg; 2/9/24: 1.31 mg; 2/23/24: 1.28 mg; 3/1/24: 1.25 mg; 3/8/24: 1.22 mg; 3/15/24: 1.19 mg; 3/29/24: 1.17 mg; 4/5/24: 1.14 mg; 4/13/24: 1.11 mg; 4/20/24: 1.09 mg Link to comment
LexAnger Posted June 8, 2018 Share Posted June 8, 2018 Oh rosseta, bless your heart. You have such a tender love to your kids. I know how you feel as I'm a mother too. Try not to be hard on yourself. Even I was able when my son was little, looking back I always regret many things I should have done but not doe to lack of awarenees. Parents just want to do everything possible for their kids and you will find you eill never be able to do them all You will do a lot more when you are better, more than a parent who is not in your situation can. Hugs. Lex Drug free Sep. 23 2017 2009 Mar.: lexapro 10mg for headache for 2 weeks. 2009-2012: on and off 1/4 to 1/3 of 10mg 2012 June--2013 Jan,: 1/4-1/3 of 10mg generic, bad jaw pain 2013 Jan-Mar: 10 mg generic. severe jaw and head pain; 2013 Mar--Aug. started tapering (liquid ever since) from 10 to 5 (one step) then gradually down to 2.25 mg by July. first ever panic attack, severe head/jaw pain 2013 Aug.: back to 2.75 mg; Nov: back to Brand Lex. 2.75mg -- 3mg, 2014 June: stopped PPI, head pressure/numbness. up-dosed 4.5mg, severe reaction mental symptoms added on 2014 Aug--2015 Aug: Micro taper down to 3.2mg, .025mg (<1%) cut holding 2-3 weeks. 2015 Aug 15th, Accidental one dose of 4.2mg. worsening brain non-functional, swollen head, body, coma like, DR 2016 Feb., started dosing 10am through 11 pm everyday 2/13--3.2mg, 3/15-- 2.9mg, 4/19-- 2.6mg, 6/26--2.2mg, 7/22 --1.9mg, 8/16--1.8mg，8/31--1.7m g, 9/13--1.6mg, 9/27--1.5mg, 10/8--1.4mg, 10/14--1.3mg， 11/1--1.2mg, 11/29--1.1mg, 12/12--1mg, 12/22--0.9mg 2017: 1/7--0.8mg, 1/15--0.7mg, 1/17--0.6mg, 1/20--0.52, 1/21--0.4mg, 1/22--0.26, 1/23--0.2, 2/13--0.13mg, 2/20--0.06mg, 3/18--0.13mg, 6/1--0.12mg, 7/6--0.1mg, 7/14--0.08mg, 8/17--0.04mg, 8/20--0.03mg, 8/28--0.02mg, 9/6--0.0205mg, 9/8--0.02mg, 9/17--0.015mg, 9/20--0.01mg, 9/21--0.0048mg, 9/22--0.0001mg, Link to comment
Rabe Posted June 9, 2018 Share Posted June 9, 2018 Oh Rosetta....the world and those in it can be so unkind sometimes. It is one thing when we are the target of it but when it affects those we dearly love it is so much more difficult to accept. This is about them..their lack of understanding, decency and kindness...its not about you...you are courageous, kind, thoughtful, compassionate and so much more!! You have been and are doing all that you are capable of ... and often more. If someone asks you for $50 and all you have is $25 that's all you can give...and it seems you always give what you have and often scramble to give more. Just going to the zoo is HUGE! What a wonderful day for and with your daughter. Bless you. Hope your sleep is good again tonight and that the sadness fades. Thinking about you! -Nardil 1976 < year, stopped. React to AD's. Klonopin .5BID 1990, 2.5mg til 2016 -Klonopin doubled Jan '16. Taper to 2.25mg May to Nov '16. Bad react to Lexapro, stop. React to Prevacid too, taper off. -November '16 Tapered .25mg Klonopin in hospital. Jan '17 started Viibryd, 20mg from Feb to June '17, -20mg to 10mg Viibryd from 3/25 to 6/10 2017, 12/15 10% Viibryd taper...back up next day -Clonazepam 2mg to 1.85mg 4/14 '17 to end November; taper to 1mg Clonazepam in hospital 9/1 tp 9/14 '17 -Feb '18 Amiloride .25mg 5/18 off Amiloride d/t react. Clonaz compounded -4/27 '18 Viibryd 9.5mg, 6/11 9.0 mg, 1/27 '19 Viibryd 8.75mg, ; Clonazepam .2mg 530pm and .7mg 1130pm, Premarin .3mg 830PM CARAFATE QID 2/27/19 to 3/5/19 -July 6'19 1/2 10mg Claritin 230pm, stopped it about July 18, started Oct 11 '19, -7/27 Viibryd 8.5, 8/29 8.25, 10/24 8.0, 12/19 7.75, Feb '20 7.50, 3/20 7.25, 5/20 7.0, 6/20 6.75, 7/20 6.5, 8/20 6.25, 10/2 20 6.0, 11/25'20 5.75, 1/9/21 5.5, 2/23 5.25 -1015 AM Viibryd, vit D 4,000IU 130, 415 Clonazepam .2mg, 815 Premarin .3mg, 1015 Clonaz .7mg, 1115 3t fish oil+D 1145 Castor Oil 650mg(4) 1230 Carafate 1/2GM,Methylated B Vit 1/week,Reacted Mag prn Link to comment
DMV64 Posted June 9, 2018 Share Posted June 9, 2018 17 hours ago, Rosetta said: Today, I am still very, very sad Oh sweetie. Big hugs to you. Things with our kids can be so very hard. You are doing a great job being there for your daughter. Be gentle with yourself. I am reminded of what I keep being told: acceptance, acceptance. Love to you! 2001- Klonopin 0.125 mg. 2011- increase to 1 mg. 2018- increase to 1.5 mg. Taper 2023-2024. Taper complete! 2010- Trials of SSRI's, several. 2011- Saphris 5 mg. CT. 6/2017- retry Saphris 5 mg sublingual, begin taper August 2020 10% taper with scale, and final taper liquid sublingual, August 2019- taper complete! 2011- Geodon 20 mg. Begin taper Sept 2019. 10% liquid taper. 2020: December-5 mg. 2021: Jan-4.5mg. (held Feb.for vacation). March-4mg. Apr-3.6mg. May-3.2mg. June-2.8mg. (Held July for vacation). Aug-2.4mg. Sept.- 2.2mg. Oct. 2mg. Dec 2022 - Taper complete! 2011- Gabapentin 300 mg to present- 2020. Increase 2023 to 400mg. 2014- Vyvanse 20 mg, 2020- Vyvanse 5 mg. Increase August 2022 20mg. CT (unavailable) 4/2023 2016- Lithium 300 mg, June 2016 - FT. 2017- Cogentin 0.5 mg. June-August 2019- off Cogentin. 2018- Lamictal 300mg. Holding 2021 - Hydroxyzine 30mg. Holding. 2014 Omeprazole 20 mg and holding, Omega 3's/fish oil, Magnesium Link to comment
Rosetta Posted June 9, 2018 Author Share Posted June 9, 2018 Thanks everyone. Rabe, Wantrelief, Dmv64, LexAnger, thanks for all your kind comments. You make me feel less alone. This is neuro-emotion and fatigue on top of something that's tough for all of us. Life in the U.S. is very isolating. It takes a lot of effort to make friends after school is over. I just don't have the energy. With my daughter switching schools from pre-school to kinder to elementary it's very disruptive. Nothing is natural or easy. I expected her to not continue to see her friends from kinder except two boys whose mothers I connected with well. I expected the invitations to parties to stop, but it's hard to deal with the reality of being lonely -- being lonely while also feeling blocked from being able to fix it -- having no energy or cog function to go beyond just getting through each day. https://www.survivingantidepressants.org/topic/16629-rosetta-ct-may-2011-too-fast-taper-feb-2017/?page=25 2001-2011 Celexa 10 mg raised to 40 mg then 60 mg over this time period May 2011 OB Doctor's Cold switch Celexa 60 mg to 10 mg Zoloft sertraline (baby born) 2012-2016 - Doctors raised dose of Zoloft up to 150 mg 2016 - Xanax prescribed - as needed - 0.5 mg about every 3 days (bad reaction) 2016 - Stopped Xanax Late 2016- Began (too fast) taper of Zoloft Early 2017 - Trazodone prescribed for bedtime (doseage unknown) Feb 2017 - Completed taper/stopped Trazodone Drug free since Feb 2017 2017 - Unisom otc very rarely for sleep Link to comment
Rosetta Posted June 10, 2018 Author Share Posted June 10, 2018 Journal: Yesterday morning I had one cortisol spike. My sleep had been ok that night. I went out to breakfast and then stayed home yesterday. My daughter's little friend came to play in the morning. The dystonia was mild yesterday. We stayed home the day before, too, mostly, except we went out to dinner. I think staying home results in heavier symptoms. This morning I had 3 cortisol spikes. My sleep was ok last except for one cortisol spike in the middle of the night. I'm anxious this morning. I feel a little depressed. I've been forgetting my magnesium doses. Maybe that has allowed the cortisol spikes to increase. I took some last night and a small amount this morning. I am going to go out today in the sun and play mini golf with a friend whose daughter was in preschool with mine. I know it will be good for me. I think part of my loneliness is that I miss having a community. Having individual friends is great, but I miss having friends/acquaintances who know each other and seeing them all together. That's why the birthday party issue upset me so much. I felt I was building a community, and then it was gone. Now, I have to start over. I'm tired of starting over. I've had to do that so many times since high school. I thought that by this time in my life I would have had a community. I think I have to build one myself, and I find it hard to get other people to cooperate. It's a task for another time anyway as I don't have the energy. https://www.survivingantidepressants.org/topic/16629-rosetta-ct-may-2011-too-fast-taper-feb-2017/?page=25 2001-2011 Celexa 10 mg raised to 40 mg then 60 mg over this time period May 2011 OB Doctor's Cold switch Celexa 60 mg to 10 mg Zoloft sertraline (baby born) 2012-2016 - Doctors raised dose of Zoloft up to 150 mg 2016 - Xanax prescribed - as needed - 0.5 mg about every 3 days (bad reaction) 2016 - Stopped Xanax Late 2016- Began (too fast) taper of Zoloft Early 2017 - Trazodone prescribed for bedtime (doseage unknown) Feb 2017 - Completed taper/stopped Trazodone Drug free since Feb 2017 2017 - Unisom otc very rarely for sleep Link to comment
Moderator brassmonkey Posted June 10, 2018 Moderator Share Posted June 10, 2018 Hi Rosetta-- Given the events of the past 24 hours I would expect your mind to be playing a lot of different tricks on you for a few days. It appears that there has been a positive outcome, due in no small part to you, so now it's a matter of letting it all sink in and then when the mind in clearer to process it a little at a time. For right now playing with the kids, getting out for activities and seeing friends is the best thing to do. With our "modern times" and living in such a large mobile city as we do building and maintaining a community is a very tough thing to do. Getting out and doing things that interest you will help provide opportunities to connect. Now that your daughter is entering into a longer term school will probably help too. Having to change schools every year really hampers efforts to connect. Keep up making the effort and it will work out. ((((((((((((((((((HUGS)))))))))))))) Brassmonkey 20 years on Paxil starting at 20mg and working up to 40mg. Sept 2011 started 10% every 6 weeks taper (2.5% every week for 4 weeks then hold for 2 additional weeks), currently at 7.9mg. Oct 2011 CTed 15oz vodka a night, to only drinking 2 beers most nights, totally sober Feb 2013. Since I wrote this I have continued to decrease my dose by 10% every 6 weeks (2.5% every week for 4 weeks and then hold for an additional 2 weeks). I added in an extra 6 week hold when I hit 10mg to let things settle out even more. When I hit 3mgpw it became hard to split the drop into 4 parts so I switched to dropping 1mgpw (pill weight) every week for 3 weeks and then holding for another 3 weeks. The 3 + 3 schedule turned out to be too harsh so I cut back to dropping 1mgpw every 4 weeks which is working better. Final Dose 0.016mg. Current dose 0.000mg 04-15-2017 "It's also important not to become angry, no matter how difficult life is, because you can loose all hope if you can't laugh at yourself and at life in general." Stephen Hawking Link to comment
Rosetta Posted June 10, 2018 Author Share Posted June 10, 2018 Thanks, Brassmonkey!!! Hugs to you, too. I hope you are well. - R https://www.survivingantidepressants.org/topic/16629-rosetta-ct-may-2011-too-fast-taper-feb-2017/?page=25 2001-2011 Celexa 10 mg raised to 40 mg then 60 mg over this time period May 2011 OB Doctor's Cold switch Celexa 60 mg to 10 mg Zoloft sertraline (baby born) 2012-2016 - Doctors raised dose of Zoloft up to 150 mg 2016 - Xanax prescribed - as needed - 0.5 mg about every 3 days (bad reaction) 2016 - Stopped Xanax Late 2016- Began (too fast) taper of Zoloft Early 2017 - Trazodone prescribed for bedtime (doseage unknown) Feb 2017 - Completed taper/stopped Trazodone Drug free since Feb 2017 2017 - Unisom otc very rarely for sleep Link to comment
Rabe Posted June 10, 2018 Share Posted June 10, 2018 Hi Rosetta, what you said is so true, as brassmonkey said. Being in a larger mobile city makes a huge difference. Since leaving my home and my home city that has been a stark reality. Your insights and what you have done and continue to do for your daughter and yourself always touches my mind and heart. You are a gentle warrior who continues to fight for what you need and desire, while caring for others as well, and I find it so inspiring. Hope the sun and mini golf are healing. ♥️ -Nardil 1976 < year, stopped. React to AD's. Klonopin .5BID 1990, 2.5mg til 2016 -Klonopin doubled Jan '16. Taper to 2.25mg May to Nov '16. Bad react to Lexapro, stop. React to Prevacid too, taper off. -November '16 Tapered .25mg Klonopin in hospital. Jan '17 started Viibryd, 20mg from Feb to June '17, -20mg to 10mg Viibryd from 3/25 to 6/10 2017, 12/15 10% Viibryd taper...back up next day -Clonazepam 2mg to 1.85mg 4/14 '17 to end November; taper to 1mg Clonazepam in hospital 9/1 tp 9/14 '17 -Feb '18 Amiloride .25mg 5/18 off Amiloride d/t react. Clonaz compounded -4/27 '18 Viibryd 9.5mg, 6/11 9.0 mg, 1/27 '19 Viibryd 8.75mg, ; Clonazepam .2mg 530pm and .7mg 1130pm, Premarin .3mg 830PM CARAFATE QID 2/27/19 to 3/5/19 -July 6'19 1/2 10mg Claritin 230pm, stopped it about July 18, started Oct 11 '19, -7/27 Viibryd 8.5, 8/29 8.25, 10/24 8.0, 12/19 7.75, Feb '20 7.50, 3/20 7.25, 5/20 7.0, 6/20 6.75, 7/20 6.5, 8/20 6.25, 10/2 20 6.0, 11/25'20 5.75, 1/9/21 5.5, 2/23 5.25 -1015 AM Viibryd, vit D 4,000IU 130, 415 Clonazepam .2mg, 815 Premarin .3mg, 1015 Clonaz .7mg, 1115 3t fish oil+D 1145 Castor Oil 650mg(4) 1230 Carafate 1/2GM,Methylated B Vit 1/week,Reacted Mag prn Link to comment
Recommended Posts
Create an account or sign in to comment
You need to be a member in order to leave a comment
Create an account
Sign up for a new account in our community. It's easy!
Register a new accountSign in
Already have an account? Sign in here.
Sign In Now