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Rosetta: cold switch May 2011 & too fast taper Feb 2017


Rosetta

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Thanks you two.  I did have a good day.  The aka hasn't come back.  Now I'm going to bed early.  Wish me luck.

https://www.survivingantidepressants.org/topic/16629-rosetta-ct-may-2011-too-fast-taper-feb-2017/?page=25

2001-2011 Celexa 10 mg raised to 40 mg then 60 mg over this time period

May 2011 OB Doctor's Cold switch Celexa 60 mg to 10 mg Zoloft sertraline (baby born)

2012-2016 - Doctors raised dose of Zoloft up to 150 mg

2016 - Xanax prescribed - as needed - 0.5 mg about every 3 days (bad reaction)

2016 - Stopped Xanax

Late 2016- Began (too fast) taper of Zoloft

Early 2017 - Trazodone prescribed for bedtime (doseage unknown)

Feb 2017 - Completed taper/stopped Trazodone

Drug free since Feb 2017

2017 - Unisom otc very rarely for sleep

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Thanks, @Sheera.  Thank you, @bubbles.   I forgot to note that something physical has changed, and it’s a big deal.  Last Fall, in August, I tried to wear contact lenses again.  I had given

@Amira123 Oh, yes, all of that!  It all slowly lessened over time.  There were windows when I felt relief from those symptoms.  Then, they would come back and go away again.  At times, I had bad waves

I wrote something similar to this to another member, and I thought I would post it here before I sign off:   It WILL get better.  I am SO MUCH better!  Sometimes I think I should pinch mysel

So glad it didn't return Rosetta!  Sleep well!!!!! ♥️

-Nardil 1976 < year, stopped. Reactions to AD's. Klonopin .5BID ?1990, 2.5mg ? til 2016

-Klonopin doubled Jan '16. Tapered to 2.25mg May '16 to Nov '16, Heart raced after 1 Lexapro, stopped. Reacting to Prevacid to tapered off. Nov

-November '16 Tapered .25mg Klonopin in hospital. Jan 2 '17 started Viibryd, 20mg from 2/20 to 6/10 '17,     

-20mg to 10mg Viibryd from 3/25 to 6/10 2017, 12/15 10% Viibryd taper...back up next day

-Clonazepam 2mg to 1.85mg 4/14 '17 to end November; taper to 1mg Clonazepam in hospital 9/1 tp 9/14 '17

-Feb '18 Amiloride .25mg  5/18 off Amiloride d/t react. Clonaz compounded  

-4/27 '18 Viibryd 9.5mg, 6/11 9.0 mg, 1/27 '19 Viibryd 8.75mg, ; Clonazepam .2mg 530pm and .7mg 1130pm, Premarin .3mg 830PM CARAFATE QID 2/27/19 to 3/5/19

-July 6'19 1/2 10mg Claritin 230pm, stopped it about July 18, started Oct 11 '19, 

-7/27 Viibryd 8.5, 8/29 Viibryd 8.25 -10/18 Carafate 1/2 NOC-10/24 Viibryd 8.0, 12/6 Viibryd 7.75, K+ 10meq qd

-NOW 1115am-Viibryd 7.75mg, 3pm-K+ 5mg, 515pm-Clonaz .2mg, 6pm-K+ 5mg, 830pm-Premarin .3mg,1115pm-Clonaz .9mg, 115am Carafate .5gm.

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  • Moderator Emeritus

That’s fabulous Rosetta that you’re doing your best to have a great day.

 

It’s not easy, but all we can do is live in the moment. I’m pretty much bedbound today, but in good spirits. I’m still singing songs from the concert last night. Hope you find some things today that give you a bit of joy. I know when my anhedonia is bad I don’t find joy in anything but I still keep doing the things I love. It gets me out of my head. 

 

Take care💚💚💚

Been on antipsychotics, benzos, antidepressants and painkillers for chronic pain. 

Have been cold turkeyed and put on and off all sorts of things.  Was suicidal n ended up in a psych ward because I had akathisia from withdrawals. I can’t remember what I was put on but when I was released was in the same predicament with severe akathisia n was suicidal again.

Back to the psych ward and I was given a number of different drugs while there. Tapered off one when I got home n have been trying to taper off Seroquel since. It’s been years, tapering slowly but still having severe withdrawals.

I’ve  tapered from 300mg of Seroquel to 7.5mg./ March 10th 2019=7.25mg / 17th of April 2019= 7mg / June 5th=6.75mg/ July 14th=6.50mg/ 28th of August=6.25mg/ 10th of Oct= 6.20mg/ 21st October 6mg/ 16th of December 5.80mg/21st of January 5.60mg/

 

I AM NOT A MEDICAL PROFESSIONAL. These are my own views based on what I’ve experienced myself.

 

 

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I'm ok today.  I slept ok.  The dead of night was pretty awful, but I woke up feeling neutral rather than bad.  Went to a meet and greet for the munchkin's upcoming camp -- met her counselor, looked around the grounds, got her t-shirts.  We are home now in my messy house.  I'm trying to find some motivation.

 

Yesterday I ended up going to the beach with one of my daughter's friends.  The other mom and I watched the two of them play in the sand, and my husband helped them bodyboard.  They had sunshine, I had sunshine, and I felt less alone and isolated.  

 

Im sleepy.  Today is gloomy and too cool.  I took a very brief nap that didn't make me feel worse.

https://www.survivingantidepressants.org/topic/16629-rosetta-ct-may-2011-too-fast-taper-feb-2017/?page=25

2001-2011 Celexa 10 mg raised to 40 mg then 60 mg over this time period

May 2011 OB Doctor's Cold switch Celexa 60 mg to 10 mg Zoloft sertraline (baby born)

2012-2016 - Doctors raised dose of Zoloft up to 150 mg

2016 - Xanax prescribed - as needed - 0.5 mg about every 3 days (bad reaction)

2016 - Stopped Xanax

Late 2016- Began (too fast) taper of Zoloft

Early 2017 - Trazodone prescribed for bedtime (doseage unknown)

Feb 2017 - Completed taper/stopped Trazodone

Drug free since Feb 2017

2017 - Unisom otc very rarely for sleep

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  • Moderator Emeritus
4 minutes ago, Rosetta said:

I'm ok today.  I slept ok.  The dead of night was pretty awful, but I woke up feeling neutral rather than bad.  Went to a meet and greet for the munchkin's upcoming camp -- met her counselor, looked around the grounds, got her t-shirts.  We are home now in my messy house.  I'm trying to find some motivation.

 

Yesterday I ended up going to the beach with one of my daughter's friends.  The other mom and I watched the two of them play in the sand, and my husband helped them bodyboard.  They had sunshine, I had sunshine, and I felt less alone and isolated.  

 

Im sleepy.  Today is gloomy and too cool.  I took a very brief nap that didn't make me feel worse.

 

Glad you got some sleep Rosetta, 

 

I read some more of your thread yesterday and I see that your home and the hoarding is one of your major stresses. That must be so hard for you. You know, one of my favourite quotes is CONSISTENCY OVER INTENSITY. I find I can apply it to everything in my life. It’s better to do little but consistent things no matter what we are doing, That way things don’t seem so overwhelming. Anything we do consistently on a daily basis really adds up in the long run.

 

If we do things with too much intensity it feels overwhelming and in the end we don’t end up doing anything at all. Been there, done that.

 

 If there’s a book I want to read as it will be beneficial to me, instead of going, it’s too much to read I think I’ll read so much today n then the same amount tomorrow. It’s not so overwhelming that way. You can even set a timer. I find using a timer with different things great. 

 

Maybe with your housework just set the timer for five minutes a day. It’s amazing what you can do in five minutes. If you did that every day for a year it would certainly add up and you wouldn’t feel so overwhelmed.

 

I’m so glad you had a nice time with another mum. It made me smile. I hope you have many more happy interactions in the future.

 

Take care💚

Been on antipsychotics, benzos, antidepressants and painkillers for chronic pain. 

Have been cold turkeyed and put on and off all sorts of things.  Was suicidal n ended up in a psych ward because I had akathisia from withdrawals. I can’t remember what I was put on but when I was released was in the same predicament with severe akathisia n was suicidal again.

Back to the psych ward and I was given a number of different drugs while there. Tapered off one when I got home n have been trying to taper off Seroquel since. It’s been years, tapering slowly but still having severe withdrawals.

I’ve  tapered from 300mg of Seroquel to 7.5mg./ March 10th 2019=7.25mg / 17th of April 2019= 7mg / June 5th=6.75mg/ July 14th=6.50mg/ 28th of August=6.25mg/ 10th of Oct= 6.20mg/ 21st October 6mg/ 16th of December 5.80mg/21st of January 5.60mg/

 

I AM NOT A MEDICAL PROFESSIONAL. These are my own views based on what I’ve experienced myself.

 

 

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Was so happy to read your post Rosetta!!!  The beach, the sun, your family and friends, getting to camp with your daughter...what a lovely day!  And really glad to hear you slept!  Not all gifts come wrapped I find these days/years.  You already found motivation...so I say nap instead! 

 

-Nardil 1976 < year, stopped. Reactions to AD's. Klonopin .5BID ?1990, 2.5mg ? til 2016

-Klonopin doubled Jan '16. Tapered to 2.25mg May '16 to Nov '16, Heart raced after 1 Lexapro, stopped. Reacting to Prevacid to tapered off. Nov

-November '16 Tapered .25mg Klonopin in hospital. Jan 2 '17 started Viibryd, 20mg from 2/20 to 6/10 '17,     

-20mg to 10mg Viibryd from 3/25 to 6/10 2017, 12/15 10% Viibryd taper...back up next day

-Clonazepam 2mg to 1.85mg 4/14 '17 to end November; taper to 1mg Clonazepam in hospital 9/1 tp 9/14 '17

-Feb '18 Amiloride .25mg  5/18 off Amiloride d/t react. Clonaz compounded  

-4/27 '18 Viibryd 9.5mg, 6/11 9.0 mg, 1/27 '19 Viibryd 8.75mg, ; Clonazepam .2mg 530pm and .7mg 1130pm, Premarin .3mg 830PM CARAFATE QID 2/27/19 to 3/5/19

-July 6'19 1/2 10mg Claritin 230pm, stopped it about July 18, started Oct 11 '19, 

-7/27 Viibryd 8.5, 8/29 Viibryd 8.25 -10/18 Carafate 1/2 NOC-10/24 Viibryd 8.0, 12/6 Viibryd 7.75, K+ 10meq qd

-NOW 1115am-Viibryd 7.75mg, 3pm-K+ 5mg, 515pm-Clonaz .2mg, 6pm-K+ 5mg, 830pm-Premarin .3mg,1115pm-Clonaz .9mg, 115am Carafate .5gm.

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Hi Rosetta...how are you today? How was last night?

xo

-D

New hopefully cleaner, signature

2001 - Klonopin (.125 mg) for anxiety and sleep at night.

2010 - depressed, tried several SSRI's, settled in 2011 on Saphris (5 mg)

2011 - Dystonic reaction from Saphris. CT. Terrible withdrawal. Panic. 

2011 - Attempts to stablize: Klonopin 1.0 mg. Xanax 1mg. Geoden 20mg. Wellbutrin 100mg. Tried at this time: Seroquel, Cymbalta, Lamictal 

2014 - Vyvanse 20 mg/ADHD, Gabapentin 300 mg added/bladder pain. Wellbutrin fast taper/Rash.

2016 - Depressed - Lithium 300mg til June/Rash and only marginally effective.

2017 - June - Saphris 5 mg added cogentin for side effects

2017 - September Fast taper Saphris. Aug 29. Terrible withdrawal. Panic.

2017 - Attempts to stablize: Lithium: Aug 31 - Sept 9. Stopped. Geoden 40mg Sept 9. Fast taper to 20 mg Sept 13.  Reinstated Saphris Sept 9 (1.25 mg), updosed the Saphris Sept 11 (.2.5mg) .Vyvanse 5mg for ADHD Stopped Sept 14, reinstated sept 17. Cut to 3mg sometime in March.

Omezerpole/reflux. Fish oil supplements. .5 cogentin for possible reactions to Saphris. Oct 25 water taper of Geoden 20mg,  11/18 next 10% drop. Hold at 16.2mg. Dec 12 begin Saphris 2.5 mg taper on scale. Rapid taper doc rec./bad idea. Hold at 1.2mg, updose 2/13. Split Geoden dose 11AM/12mg 7:30PM/6mg. 3/26 Updose Geoden by 2mg to 18mg. Dec 1 split Klonopin dose. 3/23 12 hours apart 3/27. 6/18 1 mg klonopin split 12 hours apart. Sometime in Feb. Klonopin increase to 1.5 to avoid hospital. 6/4 updose Saphris to .015mg July 1 cut Saphris to .014mg. July 29 .013 Aug 29 .012 Sept 29 .011Oct 29 .010 Dec 6 .009 (0.9 mgai) Jan 26 .008 (0.8mgai) Feb 25 (0.7mgai) March 25 (0.6mgai) May 24 begin liquid taper. Cut sublingual tab to .020 in 5ML water. Pull out 1.25ML (.05mgai) 6/14 1ML .025 dry dose dissolved (.045mgai) 7/7 .Dissolve .025 in 8ML drink .009ML 7/28Dissolve .025 in 8ML drink .008ML. 8/18 Jumping! 1/10/20 Geoden taper 18mg to 16mg.2/14 14mg. 3/20 13mg 4/29 11mg 5/21 10mg/6/13 9mg/7/4 8mg/7/24 7mg 8/4 6mg 11/8 5.4mg

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I'm ok right now.  Last night was quite awful.  Thanks for asking DMV.

 

Thanks Rabe and Carmie.  I needed to hear that.

 

Journal:

 

Cortisol spike at 12:15 am.  Anxiety relaxed, and I went back to sleep, but constantly awakened by my daughter flailing about the bed.  Spike after spike,  and I was up crying hard for a very long time.  My husband tried to comfort me.  I feel asleep in his bed, but was awakened by my dsughter crying out for me when she woke up alone.  That caused another terrible spike.  I lay down with her and felt as if I had had a heart attack for a long while.  When I fell asleep again I had another spike after being awakened by my daughter's body moving about.  Early this morning, I had another spike but I finally feel asleep and rested until 8:25 when I woke up without a spike.

 

There was a lot of SI in the night.  I'm trying to forget about it.  

 

Moderators, I'm losing my mind.   I expected to sleep well after having a very hard cry in the night.  

 

Do I tough this out or think about lamictal?  

 

I suppose this could be hormonal.  No cycle has occurred in many, many weeks, but I'm sure there are still hormones occurring at lower levels that could be causing these symptoms.  I'm very tempted to use Unisom, but I have avoided it for 5 1/2 months.  I'm afraid to take it for fear it might make things worse.  

 

I haven't been been for a walk in many days.  

 

I have been taking mag, and I just opened a new bottle of magnesium (Calm).  It seemed to be stronger than the old bottle based on my reaction yesterday morning. (Potty issue).  Maybe it loses potency after its opened?  Perhaps I wasn't getting much of it last week?

 

I'm trying to get through this and not spiral.  

https://www.survivingantidepressants.org/topic/16629-rosetta-ct-may-2011-too-fast-taper-feb-2017/?page=25

2001-2011 Celexa 10 mg raised to 40 mg then 60 mg over this time period

May 2011 OB Doctor's Cold switch Celexa 60 mg to 10 mg Zoloft sertraline (baby born)

2012-2016 - Doctors raised dose of Zoloft up to 150 mg

2016 - Xanax prescribed - as needed - 0.5 mg about every 3 days (bad reaction)

2016 - Stopped Xanax

Late 2016- Began (too fast) taper of Zoloft

Early 2017 - Trazodone prescribed for bedtime (doseage unknown)

Feb 2017 - Completed taper/stopped Trazodone

Drug free since Feb 2017

2017 - Unisom otc very rarely for sleep

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I am so sorry you had such a difficult night, Rosetta.  Hang on to the better moments you have had as they will come again. I am thinking about you and sending lots of hugs - WR.

-1/06 - 3/07 Cymbalta. Fast taper; withdrawal symptoms after 4 mos (didn't realize was WD)

-10/07: 100 mg Zoloft; 1 mg Klonopin - tapered off Klonopin
-Tried several times to slowly taper Zoloft by 10%, then 5% every 4-6 weeks; could never get below approx. 40 mg - spring 2012 experienced major WD symptoms due to stress; tried to updose but no relief, back on Klonopin 1 mg.
-Switched over 5-6 mos from Zoloft to Citalopram. Finished Zoloft 1/13; Citalopram 35 mg and 1 mg Klonopin.
-8/13: 27 mg Citalopram; 1 mg Klonopin

-11/14: 12.6 Citalopram - began to have bad withdrawal symptoms; out of desperation increased to 1.25 mg Klonopin at the beginning of December.  12/13/14 16 mg Citalopram - going to stay here to try to stabilize; stabilized on 16 mg Citalopram after 4-5 months

-7/15 - 3/16: reduced to 15 mg; ~ 2 months later w/d hit hard (probably r/t stress); 6/16 updosed to 20 mg Citalopram and trying to stabilize. Updosed to 1.5 Klonopin as well. Stabilized on 20 mg Citalopram after 4-5 months

8/17-9/17: feeling withdrawal symptoms at 20 mg Citalopram (due to stress) - slowly increased to 25 mg. No change in symptoms after 6 months (? tolerance ?)  - decided to start citalopram taper February 2018 (still on Klonopin 1.5 mg).

Supplements: fish oil; vitamin D3; curcumin

Citalopram taper:  2/2018 - 12/2019: 25 mg - 11.03 mg

2020: 1/14/20: 10.89 mg (1.27% drop); 1/22/20: 10.75 mg (1.29% drop); 2/28/20 toe surgery; 4/26/20: 10.62 mg (1.21% drop); 5/3/20: 10.5 mg (1.22% drop); 5/10/20: 10.4 mg (1.24% drop); 5/17/20: 10.2 mg (1.25% drop); 6/7/20: 10.10 mg (1.27% drop); 6/14/20: 9.98 mg (1.19% drop); 6/21/20: 9.85 mg (1.30% drop); 6/28/20: 9.7 mg (1.22% drop); 7/12/20: 9.6 mg (1.23% drop); 7/19/20: 9.5 mg (1.25% drop); 7/26/20: 9.4 mg (1.26% drop); 8/2/20: 9.3 mg (1.28% drop); 8/17/20: 9.14 mg (1.19% drop); 8/31/20: 9.0 mg (1.31% drop); 9/6/20: 8.9 mg (1.22% drop); 9/27/20: 8.8 mg (1.23% drop); 10/4/20: 8.7 mg (1.25% drop); 10/11/20: 8.6 mg (1.27% drop); 10/18/20: 8.5 mg (1.28% drop); 11/8/20: 8.4 mg (1.18% drop); 11/15/20: 8.3 mg (1.19% drop); 11/22/20: 8.2 mg (1.21% drop)

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  • Mentor
FarmGirlWorks

Oh Rosetta: so sorry to hear about the tsunami of symptoms. I hear you. It is impossible to tease apart what is WD-related, what is situational, what is hormonal (my cycle came at 3 weeks instead of the usual 4 and threw me into black days)... I am curious to what mods will advise. Thinking of you much ((((((( 💙 ))))))))

  • Prozac | late 2004-mid-2005 | CT WD in a couple months, mostly emotional
  • Sertraline 50-100mg | 11/2011-3/2014, 10/2014-3/2017
  • Sertraline fast taper March 2017, 4 weeks, OFF sertraline April 1, 2017
  • Quit alcohol May 20, 2017, quit coffee October 2017, quit cannabis 😩 July 2018
  • Magnesium powder, fish oil, estradiol, kombucha, gluten/dairy/histamine-lite
  • Lifestyle changes: AA, kundalini practice

 

"If you've seen a monster, even if it's horrible, that's evidence of divinity." – Damien Echols

 

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Sorry to hear you are having a hard time Rosetta.  I am not doing well either and have even been thinking about calling my doctor.  I just so badly need relief from this anxiety.    I broke down crying in front of my girls today and felt so bad about it after.  It can just get so hard to put on a happy face and pretend everything is just fine.  I just wanted to let you know I am here for you and wishing you well.  This is just so incredibly unfair that we have to suffer for so long.  

Zoloft 50 mg Fall 2003-October 2016

I went up to 150 mg for several months during the winter of 2016 after going through a tough time trying to stabilize.

Lexapro 5 mg and then 10 mg October 2016-December 2016

Paxil December 2016 to present.  Started at 10 mg went up to 20 mg for three weeks and started reducing by 5mg every 2 weeks per doctors orders.  Got down to 7.5 mg and ran into trouble, found this website and updosed to 10 mg.

 9mg paroxetine June 18-6.5 mg in am 2.5 mg pm.  

July 20 began switch to Citalopram-9 mg Paxil and 5 mg citalopram

July 24-7.5mg paroxetine and 7.5mg Citalopram 

July 27-5mg paroxetine and 10 citalopram 

July 30-2.5 paroxetine and 10 of Citalopram 

August 2-2mg paroxetine and 10mg Citalopram, dropped paroxetine Aug. 3

August 8 increased to 15 mg citalopram

Take 1mg lorazepam as needed and 3mg melatonin at night.

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Rosetta...I don't know what to say...your rollercoaster becomes one in my heart.  I was so hopeful and happy reading your recent posts... that you were getting out, sleeping better, feeling better.  I too hope the moderators have some suggestions that will help...if I can help in any way please let me know.

 

In reading your past texts there seems to be a relation to your spikes and what follows with the interruption of your sleep?  Would your daughter sleep with her dad or no?  Is there some way you could have a twin bed next to yours so that she is there but not waking you with her little legs?  Maybe this is all nonsensical...if so sorry...mind is more than a tad off today. But just seems that something happens after you are awakened like that...

 

Hugs...and prayers for better sleep tonight...please take care Rosetta!!! 💜 

   

-Nardil 1976 < year, stopped. Reactions to AD's. Klonopin .5BID ?1990, 2.5mg ? til 2016

-Klonopin doubled Jan '16. Tapered to 2.25mg May '16 to Nov '16, Heart raced after 1 Lexapro, stopped. Reacting to Prevacid to tapered off. Nov

-November '16 Tapered .25mg Klonopin in hospital. Jan 2 '17 started Viibryd, 20mg from 2/20 to 6/10 '17,     

-20mg to 10mg Viibryd from 3/25 to 6/10 2017, 12/15 10% Viibryd taper...back up next day

-Clonazepam 2mg to 1.85mg 4/14 '17 to end November; taper to 1mg Clonazepam in hospital 9/1 tp 9/14 '17

-Feb '18 Amiloride .25mg  5/18 off Amiloride d/t react. Clonaz compounded  

-4/27 '18 Viibryd 9.5mg, 6/11 9.0 mg, 1/27 '19 Viibryd 8.75mg, ; Clonazepam .2mg 530pm and .7mg 1130pm, Premarin .3mg 830PM CARAFATE QID 2/27/19 to 3/5/19

-July 6'19 1/2 10mg Claritin 230pm, stopped it about July 18, started Oct 11 '19, 

-7/27 Viibryd 8.5, 8/29 Viibryd 8.25 -10/18 Carafate 1/2 NOC-10/24 Viibryd 8.0, 12/6 Viibryd 7.75, K+ 10meq qd

-NOW 1115am-Viibryd 7.75mg, 3pm-K+ 5mg, 515pm-Clonaz .2mg, 6pm-K+ 5mg, 830pm-Premarin .3mg,1115pm-Clonaz .9mg, 115am Carafate .5gm.

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Oh, I'm so sorry for such a difficult night! You must feel very exhausted both physically and mentally.

I know how much you want to be there for Your daughter. But from my recent hard lesson trying to go beyond of what I should and could do for my son (helping him lifting a electric fireplace weighting 60 pounds to to his 2nd floor apartment that started my downhill from the back injury, mri shock, then reactions to food additives all together almost took my life), i know learned the best way I can be there for him is to take good care of my self first. 

 

It's hard to do so though when it's in conflict, but will be best in a longer term. I hope you can work out some plans to ensure a night sleep without much disturbance. Your health for the time being is more critical giving how each of the little thing can impact your general wellness and recovery.

 

Make sure at the least you get a good night sleep!

 

Love and hugs,

Lex

 

Drug free Sep. 23 2017

2009 Mar.: lexapro 10mg for headache for 2 weeks.

2009-2012: on and off 1/4 to 1/3 of 10mg

2012 June--2013 Jan,: 1/4-1/3 of 10mg generic, bad jaw pain

2013 Jan-Mar: 10 mg generic. severe jaw and head pain;

2013 Mar--Aug. started tapering (liquid ever since) from 10 to 5 (one step) then gradually down to 2.25 mg by July. first ever panic attack, severe head/jaw pain

2013 Aug.: back to 2.75 mg; Nov: back to Brand Lex. 2.75mg -- 3mg,

2014 June: stopped PPI, head pressure/numbness. up-dosed 4.5mg, severe reaction mental symptoms added on

2014 Aug--2015 Aug: Micro taper down to 3.2mg, .025mg (<1%) cut holding 2-3 weeks.

2015 Aug 15th, Accidental one dose of 4.2mg. worsening brain non-functional, swollen head, body, coma like, DR

2016 Feb., started dosing 10am through 11 pm everyday 2/13--3.2mg, 3/15-- 2.9mg, 4/19-- 2.6mg, 6/26--2.2mg, 7/22 --1.9mg, 8/16--1.8mg,8/31--1.7m g, 9/13--1.6mg, 9/27--1.5mg, 10/8--1.4mg, 10/14--1.3mg, 11/1--1.2mg, 11/29--1.1mg, 12/12--1mg, 12/22--0.9mg

2017: 1/7--0.8mg, 1/15--0.7mg, 1/17--0.6mg, 1/20--0.52, 1/21--0.4mg, 1/22--0.26, 1/23--0.2, 2/13--0.13mg, 2/20--0.06mg, 3/18--0.13mg, 6/1--0.12mg, 7/6--0.1mg, 7/14--0.08mg, 8/17--0.04mg, 8/20--0.03mg, 8/28--0.02mg, 9/6--0.0205mg, 9/8--0.02mg, 9/17--0.015mg, 9/20--0.01mg, 9/21--0.0048mg, 9/22--0.0001mg,

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  • Moderator Emeritus

Hi Rosetta, 

 

So sorry you’re struggling so much. You have lots of love here on your thread. A lot of people are concerned about you. I’m sure the moderators will get to you soon. Sending much love too💚

Been on antipsychotics, benzos, antidepressants and painkillers for chronic pain. 

Have been cold turkeyed and put on and off all sorts of things.  Was suicidal n ended up in a psych ward because I had akathisia from withdrawals. I can’t remember what I was put on but when I was released was in the same predicament with severe akathisia n was suicidal again.

Back to the psych ward and I was given a number of different drugs while there. Tapered off one when I got home n have been trying to taper off Seroquel since. It’s been years, tapering slowly but still having severe withdrawals.

I’ve  tapered from 300mg of Seroquel to 7.5mg./ March 10th 2019=7.25mg / 17th of April 2019= 7mg / June 5th=6.75mg/ July 14th=6.50mg/ 28th of August=6.25mg/ 10th of Oct= 6.20mg/ 21st October 6mg/ 16th of December 5.80mg/21st of January 5.60mg/

 

I AM NOT A MEDICAL PROFESSIONAL. These are my own views based on what I’ve experienced myself.

 

 

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  • Moderator Emeritus
17 hours ago, Rosetta said:

Moderators, I'm losing my mind.   I expected to sleep well after having a very hard cry in the night.  

 

Do I tough this out or think about lamictal?  

 

I suppose this could be hormonal.  No cycle has occurred in many, many weeks, but I'm sure there are still hormones occurring at lower levels that could be causing these symptoms.  I'm very tempted to use Unisom, but I have avoided it for 5 1/2 months.  I'm afraid to take it for fear it might make things worse.  

 

I haven't been been for a walk in many days.  

 

I have been taking mag, and I just opened a new bottle of magnesium (Calm).  It seemed to be stronger than the old bottle based on my reaction yesterday morning. (Potty issue).  Maybe it loses potency after its opened?  Perhaps I wasn't getting much of it last week?

 

I'm trying to get through this and not spiral.  

 

Hi Rosetta,

 

I'm sorry you're feeling so bad right now.  Withdrawal can make us feel like we are losing our minds, but it isn't true.  Even when you are struggling, I see your posts here to others that contain huge amounts of wisdom and common sense, so your mind is still able to write beautifully.  I've personally found hormonal stuff really messes me up so it is quite possible this may be a factor for you too.  I think you have good coping skills and will find ways to "not spiral" as you put it.  Looking back through your posts it looks like you've had some better days recently, and I'm sure once this horrible wave passes, you'll have some more better days soon.

2001–2002 paroxetine

2003  citalopram

2004-2008  paroxetine (various failed tapers) 
2008  paroxetine slow taper down to

2016  Aug off paroxetine
2016  citalopram May 20mg  Oct 15mg … slow taper down
2018  citalopram 13 Feb 4.6mg 15 Mar 4.4mg 29 Apr 4.2mg 6 Jul 4.1mg 17 Aug 4.0mg  18 Nov 3.8mg
2019  15 Mar 3.6mg  21 May 3.4mg  26 Dec 3.2mg 

2020  19 Feb 3.0mg 19 July 2.9mg  16 Sep 2.8mg  25 Oct 2.7mg

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  • Moderator Emeritus

Rosetta, sending you love and solidarity. You are loved and valued.

One of the mods w more knowledge will come by and make a recommendation. Just wanted you to know I'm thinking of you. 

Current: 2019: 0.04 mg Paxil!! This is real. Soon, after taking Paxil my entire adult life, I will be free.

Long story short: After 18 years on Paxil, "tapered" almost completely off over a month, at doctor's advice in July 2015.

Self-care includes magnesium, reasonable exercise, mindfulness, this forum and nutrition/eating enough food.

Also on 100 mg Zoloft unfortunately!! (which I now will have the knowledge to taper properly)

-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Longer version: On Paxil since 1996--anxiety & depression caused by (undiagnosed) under-eating / eating disorder.

Doctor kept increasing dose, up to 60 mg; it never really helped but said it really was the best "med" for me.

Rapid doctor-led "taper" July 2015, down to 5 mg, with Zoloft as a "cross-taper" = Essentially a cold turkey. 

Severe withdrawal but didn't know it; believed it was my "underlying condition," and kept tapering, 5mg to 4 to 3  to 2 to 1.  

Feb 2016: Found SA! As of June 2016, tapering from 1mg at rate of 5-10% per month, Brassmonkey Slide! 

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  • Administrator
On 6/17/2018 at 9:24 AM, Rosetta said:

Anxiety relaxed, and I went back to sleep, but constantly awakened by my daughter flailing about the bed.

 

Are you co-sleeping with your daughter? This seems to disrupt your sleep. Is there a way you can work around this?

 

It sounds like you need to protect your sleep, when you don't have enough, it affects everything.

This is not medical advice. Discuss any decisions about your medical care with a knowledgeable medical practitioner.

"It has become appallingly obvious that our technology has surpassed our humanity." -- Albert Einstein

All postings © copyrighted.

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Bizzarro World reigns!  Today was the most "normal" day I have had in a long while.  Perhaps this is due, in part, to the fact that last night's sleep was much better.  Perhaps the reason is that I'm coming out of a wave.  It's probably both.  I had one strong cortisol surge at about 12:30, and one very mild one in the early morning -- my incredibly annoying cat stood on the roof directly outside the window and meowed loudly right in my ear.  No surge upon awakening.  (Those have a very strong effect on my day.)

 

Alto, yes.  My little one is still afraid of the dark and can't fall asleep without me. I feel I'm between a rock and a hard place with regard to this issue.  I find it difficult to endure her distress in general, but when her cries wake me in another room the adrenaline surge is intense -- so much more intense than the average surge when her squirming wakes me.  So, I choose the lesser harm -- until, of course, a particularly difficult series of nights each have multiple cortisol surges.  Add to that my fear of her feeling rejected any more than she does as a result of my anhedonic moods and anxiety ridden states.  

 

Thanks, Alto, I was looking at this problem as a wave in which the primary symptom was cortisol spikes instead of seeing the more likely cause being lack of sleep.  Perhaps the lack of sleep is contributing to the multiple incidences of cortisol spikes!   However, last night was much better.  So, the jury's out, but it couldn't hurt to have my own bed and better sleep, could it? 

 

The option of two beds in a room might be possible.  How effective that would be in the short term I'm not sure, but perhaps once we both became used to the arrangement . . . (Thanks, @Rabe.). 

https://www.survivingantidepressants.org/topic/16629-rosetta-ct-may-2011-too-fast-taper-feb-2017/?page=25

2001-2011 Celexa 10 mg raised to 40 mg then 60 mg over this time period

May 2011 OB Doctor's Cold switch Celexa 60 mg to 10 mg Zoloft sertraline (baby born)

2012-2016 - Doctors raised dose of Zoloft up to 150 mg

2016 - Xanax prescribed - as needed - 0.5 mg about every 3 days (bad reaction)

2016 - Stopped Xanax

Late 2016- Began (too fast) taper of Zoloft

Early 2017 - Trazodone prescribed for bedtime (doseage unknown)

Feb 2017 - Completed taper/stopped Trazodone

Drug free since Feb 2017

2017 - Unisom otc very rarely for sleep

Link to post

I am so glad you had a much better day today, Rosetta!  :)

 

-1/06 - 3/07 Cymbalta. Fast taper; withdrawal symptoms after 4 mos (didn't realize was WD)

-10/07: 100 mg Zoloft; 1 mg Klonopin - tapered off Klonopin
-Tried several times to slowly taper Zoloft by 10%, then 5% every 4-6 weeks; could never get below approx. 40 mg - spring 2012 experienced major WD symptoms due to stress; tried to updose but no relief, back on Klonopin 1 mg.
-Switched over 5-6 mos from Zoloft to Citalopram. Finished Zoloft 1/13; Citalopram 35 mg and 1 mg Klonopin.
-8/13: 27 mg Citalopram; 1 mg Klonopin

-11/14: 12.6 Citalopram - began to have bad withdrawal symptoms; out of desperation increased to 1.25 mg Klonopin at the beginning of December.  12/13/14 16 mg Citalopram - going to stay here to try to stabilize; stabilized on 16 mg Citalopram after 4-5 months

-7/15 - 3/16: reduced to 15 mg; ~ 2 months later w/d hit hard (probably r/t stress); 6/16 updosed to 20 mg Citalopram and trying to stabilize. Updosed to 1.5 Klonopin as well. Stabilized on 20 mg Citalopram after 4-5 months

8/17-9/17: feeling withdrawal symptoms at 20 mg Citalopram (due to stress) - slowly increased to 25 mg. No change in symptoms after 6 months (? tolerance ?)  - decided to start citalopram taper February 2018 (still on Klonopin 1.5 mg).

Supplements: fish oil; vitamin D3; curcumin

Citalopram taper:  2/2018 - 12/2019: 25 mg - 11.03 mg

2020: 1/14/20: 10.89 mg (1.27% drop); 1/22/20: 10.75 mg (1.29% drop); 2/28/20 toe surgery; 4/26/20: 10.62 mg (1.21% drop); 5/3/20: 10.5 mg (1.22% drop); 5/10/20: 10.4 mg (1.24% drop); 5/17/20: 10.2 mg (1.25% drop); 6/7/20: 10.10 mg (1.27% drop); 6/14/20: 9.98 mg (1.19% drop); 6/21/20: 9.85 mg (1.30% drop); 6/28/20: 9.7 mg (1.22% drop); 7/12/20: 9.6 mg (1.23% drop); 7/19/20: 9.5 mg (1.25% drop); 7/26/20: 9.4 mg (1.26% drop); 8/2/20: 9.3 mg (1.28% drop); 8/17/20: 9.14 mg (1.19% drop); 8/31/20: 9.0 mg (1.31% drop); 9/6/20: 8.9 mg (1.22% drop); 9/27/20: 8.8 mg (1.23% drop); 10/4/20: 8.7 mg (1.25% drop); 10/11/20: 8.6 mg (1.27% drop); 10/18/20: 8.5 mg (1.28% drop); 11/8/20: 8.4 mg (1.18% drop); 11/15/20: 8.3 mg (1.19% drop); 11/22/20: 8.2 mg (1.21% drop)

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  • Administrator

How about a big body pillow you can put between you, or a big stuffed animal she can hug?

This is not medical advice. Discuss any decisions about your medical care with a knowledgeable medical practitioner.

"It has become appallingly obvious that our technology has surpassed our humanity." -- Albert Einstein

All postings © copyrighted.

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To be clear -- today was a window.  I had almost normal emotions -- a little blunted maybe, maybe not.  I connected with my husband nicely on an emotional level - so rare.  I heard music from when I was a young teenager -- a horrible time in my life -- but didn't get upset.  I enjoyed it as I would expect to with normal emotion.  I walked on the beach and enjoyed the feeling of the ocean washing over my feet instead feeling physically uncomfortable and cold!!!  I enjoyed the idea of reading about Granada, Spain in a book called A Pomegrante in the Hand of God.  (Could not read much of it due to increased dystonia caused by reading.)

 

All the same, I don't feel too excited about the window.  It's probably another tease, and it will be gone quickly.  Coming on the heels of a week or so of increasingly hellacious nights means it's part of a yo-yo pattern.  I doubt it's the beginning of a lasting window, but I took full advantage of it.  I had quality time with my husband at lunch and felt the ocean on my feet without discomfort -- both rare occurrences.  My daughter was at the first day of day camp.  So, not much time with her, but I helped her with her lanyard after camp, and I'll read to her tonight.

https://www.survivingantidepressants.org/topic/16629-rosetta-ct-may-2011-too-fast-taper-feb-2017/?page=25

2001-2011 Celexa 10 mg raised to 40 mg then 60 mg over this time period

May 2011 OB Doctor's Cold switch Celexa 60 mg to 10 mg Zoloft sertraline (baby born)

2012-2016 - Doctors raised dose of Zoloft up to 150 mg

2016 - Xanax prescribed - as needed - 0.5 mg about every 3 days (bad reaction)

2016 - Stopped Xanax

Late 2016- Began (too fast) taper of Zoloft

Early 2017 - Trazodone prescribed for bedtime (doseage unknown)

Feb 2017 - Completed taper/stopped Trazodone

Drug free since Feb 2017

2017 - Unisom otc very rarely for sleep

Link to post
13 minutes ago, Altostrata said:

How about a big body pillow you can put between you, or a big stuffed animal she can hug?

 

Yes, good idea.  She will balk, but the end result will be more important.

https://www.survivingantidepressants.org/topic/16629-rosetta-ct-may-2011-too-fast-taper-feb-2017/?page=25

2001-2011 Celexa 10 mg raised to 40 mg then 60 mg over this time period

May 2011 OB Doctor's Cold switch Celexa 60 mg to 10 mg Zoloft sertraline (baby born)

2012-2016 - Doctors raised dose of Zoloft up to 150 mg

2016 - Xanax prescribed - as needed - 0.5 mg about every 3 days (bad reaction)

2016 - Stopped Xanax

Late 2016- Began (too fast) taper of Zoloft

Early 2017 - Trazodone prescribed for bedtime (doseage unknown)

Feb 2017 - Completed taper/stopped Trazodone

Drug free since Feb 2017

2017 - Unisom otc very rarely for sleep

Link to post

SO happy to hear you had a better night and day, Rosetta!  What a lovely day you described! ☺️

-Nardil 1976 < year, stopped. Reactions to AD's. Klonopin .5BID ?1990, 2.5mg ? til 2016

-Klonopin doubled Jan '16. Tapered to 2.25mg May '16 to Nov '16, Heart raced after 1 Lexapro, stopped. Reacting to Prevacid to tapered off. Nov

-November '16 Tapered .25mg Klonopin in hospital. Jan 2 '17 started Viibryd, 20mg from 2/20 to 6/10 '17,     

-20mg to 10mg Viibryd from 3/25 to 6/10 2017, 12/15 10% Viibryd taper...back up next day

-Clonazepam 2mg to 1.85mg 4/14 '17 to end November; taper to 1mg Clonazepam in hospital 9/1 tp 9/14 '17

-Feb '18 Amiloride .25mg  5/18 off Amiloride d/t react. Clonaz compounded  

-4/27 '18 Viibryd 9.5mg, 6/11 9.0 mg, 1/27 '19 Viibryd 8.75mg, ; Clonazepam .2mg 530pm and .7mg 1130pm, Premarin .3mg 830PM CARAFATE QID 2/27/19 to 3/5/19

-July 6'19 1/2 10mg Claritin 230pm, stopped it about July 18, started Oct 11 '19, 

-7/27 Viibryd 8.5, 8/29 Viibryd 8.25 -10/18 Carafate 1/2 NOC-10/24 Viibryd 8.0, 12/6 Viibryd 7.75, K+ 10meq qd

-NOW 1115am-Viibryd 7.75mg, 3pm-K+ 5mg, 515pm-Clonaz .2mg, 6pm-K+ 5mg, 830pm-Premarin .3mg,1115pm-Clonaz .9mg, 115am Carafate .5gm.

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So . . . The night was hard, but easier than a few nights ago.  Cortisol spike at about 1:00 am or so - a milder one.  Heated my shoulder wrap a couple of times.  

 

I put pillows between myself and my daughter after she fell asleep.  It didn't help too much because instead of just squirming she cried out in anger.  She may have felt the pillows and been confused or it could have been a bad dream.  She cried out twice and the cat woke me from the window, too, but the spikes were mild or non-existent.  I lay awake a while after I shut the window thinking sad thoughts about the evil in the world.  I need to stop reading the news.  

 

I woke up up quite anxious, but I'm coping.  Onward.

https://www.survivingantidepressants.org/topic/16629-rosetta-ct-may-2011-too-fast-taper-feb-2017/?page=25

2001-2011 Celexa 10 mg raised to 40 mg then 60 mg over this time period

May 2011 OB Doctor's Cold switch Celexa 60 mg to 10 mg Zoloft sertraline (baby born)

2012-2016 - Doctors raised dose of Zoloft up to 150 mg

2016 - Xanax prescribed - as needed - 0.5 mg about every 3 days (bad reaction)

2016 - Stopped Xanax

Late 2016- Began (too fast) taper of Zoloft

Early 2017 - Trazodone prescribed for bedtime (doseage unknown)

Feb 2017 - Completed taper/stopped Trazodone

Drug free since Feb 2017

2017 - Unisom otc very rarely for sleep

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  • Moderator Emeritus
8 hours ago, Rosetta said:

So . . . The night was hard, but easier than a few nights ago.  

 

I'm glad it was a bit easier for you.  Your daughter might just need a little time to get used to the pillows.

 

8 hours ago, Rosetta said:

 I need to stop reading the news.  

 

I gave up watching the news when in bad withdrawal.  I don't even watch it much now.  The negative stories have much more impact on us when our systems are so sensitive.

2001–2002 paroxetine

2003  citalopram

2004-2008  paroxetine (various failed tapers) 
2008  paroxetine slow taper down to

2016  Aug off paroxetine
2016  citalopram May 20mg  Oct 15mg … slow taper down
2018  citalopram 13 Feb 4.6mg 15 Mar 4.4mg 29 Apr 4.2mg 6 Jul 4.1mg 17 Aug 4.0mg  18 Nov 3.8mg
2019  15 Mar 3.6mg  21 May 3.4mg  26 Dec 3.2mg 

2020  19 Feb 3.0mg 19 July 2.9mg  16 Sep 2.8mg  25 Oct 2.7mg

Link to post

 

 

@Songbird So true, Songbird.  Thanks for your note.

 

Thanks to EVERYONE for looking in on me these past few days.

 

I did very little today but rest.  I did go with my husband to take my daughter to camp and pick her up.  I had breakfast out, but then just sat on the couch.  The anxiety eased at about 2:30.

 

I was able to help my daughter get started on a craft.

https://www.survivingantidepressants.org/topic/16629-rosetta-ct-may-2011-too-fast-taper-feb-2017/?page=25

2001-2011 Celexa 10 mg raised to 40 mg then 60 mg over this time period

May 2011 OB Doctor's Cold switch Celexa 60 mg to 10 mg Zoloft sertraline (baby born)

2012-2016 - Doctors raised dose of Zoloft up to 150 mg

2016 - Xanax prescribed - as needed - 0.5 mg about every 3 days (bad reaction)

2016 - Stopped Xanax

Late 2016- Began (too fast) taper of Zoloft

Early 2017 - Trazodone prescribed for bedtime (doseage unknown)

Feb 2017 - Completed taper/stopped Trazodone

Drug free since Feb 2017

2017 - Unisom otc very rarely for sleep

Link to post
On June 18, 2018 at 8:24 AM, SkyBlue said:

Rosetta, sending you love and solidarity. You are loved and valued.

One of the mods w more knowledge will come by and make a recommendation. Just wanted you to know I'm thinking of you. 

 

Thank you SkyBlue!!

https://www.survivingantidepressants.org/topic/16629-rosetta-ct-may-2011-too-fast-taper-feb-2017/?page=25

2001-2011 Celexa 10 mg raised to 40 mg then 60 mg over this time period

May 2011 OB Doctor's Cold switch Celexa 60 mg to 10 mg Zoloft sertraline (baby born)

2012-2016 - Doctors raised dose of Zoloft up to 150 mg

2016 - Xanax prescribed - as needed - 0.5 mg about every 3 days (bad reaction)

2016 - Stopped Xanax

Late 2016- Began (too fast) taper of Zoloft

Early 2017 - Trazodone prescribed for bedtime (doseage unknown)

Feb 2017 - Completed taper/stopped Trazodone

Drug free since Feb 2017

2017 - Unisom otc very rarely for sleep

Link to post

@Rosetta I'm just now seeing all of this. I'm so sorry about the terribly rough time you have had, but am glad to see things have improved. Take it one day at a time. You are strong. 

 

Sending hugs!

Started Wellbutrin 300xl mid July, 2009. Stopped Wellbutrin 300xl cold turkey May 8, 2017

Started having symptoms started June 2, 2017. Started Wellbutrin 150xl July 7, 2017

Started Remeron 15mg August 15, 2017. Increased Remeron to 30mg October 4, 2017

Increased Wellbutrin to 300xl November 24, 2017. Lowered Wellbutrin 300xl back to 150xl January 8, 2018

Started weaning off of Remeron 30mg. Cut to 22.25mg January 11, 2018

Cut Remeron to 15mg January 18, 2018 Cut Remeron to 7.5mg January 25, 2018

Cut Remeron to 3.5mg January 30,2018. Stopped taking Remeron February 1, 2018

Currently taking: Fish Oil, Magnesium, Calcium, Vit D, Progesterone,

Hormone Replacement Pellets-Estrogen Testosterone 

Link to post

Thinking about you Rosetta.  Grateful to know your anxiety did ease in the afternoon...hoping calm sleep may be yours tonight and

that tomorrow is less anxious.  💜

-Nardil 1976 < year, stopped. Reactions to AD's. Klonopin .5BID ?1990, 2.5mg ? til 2016

-Klonopin doubled Jan '16. Tapered to 2.25mg May '16 to Nov '16, Heart raced after 1 Lexapro, stopped. Reacting to Prevacid to tapered off. Nov

-November '16 Tapered .25mg Klonopin in hospital. Jan 2 '17 started Viibryd, 20mg from 2/20 to 6/10 '17,     

-20mg to 10mg Viibryd from 3/25 to 6/10 2017, 12/15 10% Viibryd taper...back up next day

-Clonazepam 2mg to 1.85mg 4/14 '17 to end November; taper to 1mg Clonazepam in hospital 9/1 tp 9/14 '17

-Feb '18 Amiloride .25mg  5/18 off Amiloride d/t react. Clonaz compounded  

-4/27 '18 Viibryd 9.5mg, 6/11 9.0 mg, 1/27 '19 Viibryd 8.75mg, ; Clonazepam .2mg 530pm and .7mg 1130pm, Premarin .3mg 830PM CARAFATE QID 2/27/19 to 3/5/19

-July 6'19 1/2 10mg Claritin 230pm, stopped it about July 18, started Oct 11 '19, 

-7/27 Viibryd 8.5, 8/29 Viibryd 8.25 -10/18 Carafate 1/2 NOC-10/24 Viibryd 8.0, 12/6 Viibryd 7.75, K+ 10meq qd

-NOW 1115am-Viibryd 7.75mg, 3pm-K+ 5mg, 515pm-Clonaz .2mg, 6pm-K+ 5mg, 830pm-Premarin .3mg,1115pm-Clonaz .9mg, 115am Carafate .5gm.

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17 hours ago, Rabe said:

Thinking about you Rosetta.  Grateful to know your anxiety did ease in the afternoon...hoping calm sleep may be yours tonight and

that tomorrow is less anxious.  💜

 

Thank you, Rabe.

 

Thank you @mirage

 

I'm sorry that I can't read your thread, mirage.  

 

I need to protect myself more than I have in the past.  This is all too much.  I live day and night in this world of WD.  It colors everything; it affects everyone I know; it feels as if there is nothing else.  I sometimes think everyone is either on ADs or benzos or Adderall or they are withdrawing or they have been switched or their doses cut too much.  I see the effects of these drugs in everything -- every person, every news article, everything.  It can't be true, but I must be making my own reality.  Could there be a barely perceptible tinge of DP or DR going on inside me?  This discomfort eases in the evenings, usually, and only then I realize that it was my constant companion.  Is it barely perceptible Akathisia?  Usually, the world looks so ugly and it FEELS so ugly.  Today it felt different than ugly.  It's not quite right, but it's not ugly.  I'm not sure it's normal.  What I don't know is whether I'm not sure because it isn't normal or because it's been too long since I felt normal.

 

So, I'm sorry everyone, but I'm going to avoid other threads today and just live.  I'm going to try to live as if this isn't happening to me for a while -- I'm not sure how long -- hours, a day, two days?

 

Journal:

 

Sleep was much better last night.  I woke up once, only once, in the night without a cortisol spike and went back to sleep easily.  This morning, I had a spike, but my heart did not hurt physically hurt, the way it does when I have a bad one.  I was very anxious this morning.  However, I had breakfast and went for a long walk on the beach.  Now, I'm sleepy.  

 

I'm seeing a pattern: the intense waves of anxiety day after day, night after night, leave me depleted, tired and sad.  The days I have less anxiety I can't do much because of the toll the anxiety has taken.  I go back and forth between these two states of being with an odd interval between them.  That interval is short, and I was in it yesterday and maybe today.  I'm sleepy during the day when that interval exists, I think - I'm not sure.  I'm not sure of anything.  Someday, this surreal existence will stop.  Someday . . .

https://www.survivingantidepressants.org/topic/16629-rosetta-ct-may-2011-too-fast-taper-feb-2017/?page=25

2001-2011 Celexa 10 mg raised to 40 mg then 60 mg over this time period

May 2011 OB Doctor's Cold switch Celexa 60 mg to 10 mg Zoloft sertraline (baby born)

2012-2016 - Doctors raised dose of Zoloft up to 150 mg

2016 - Xanax prescribed - as needed - 0.5 mg about every 3 days (bad reaction)

2016 - Stopped Xanax

Late 2016- Began (too fast) taper of Zoloft

Early 2017 - Trazodone prescribed for bedtime (doseage unknown)

Feb 2017 - Completed taper/stopped Trazodone

Drug free since Feb 2017

2017 - Unisom otc very rarely for sleep

Link to post

@Rosetta I'm including you in my prayers. Live, one day at a time and do what you can manage. Good things will come to you. I'm finding this journey is very, very slow and goes up and down and 1 step forward and 5 back. However, one day, we will all be living happy and healthy and we will have learned so much. 

 

God Bless you Rosetta.

Started Wellbutrin 300xl mid July, 2009. Stopped Wellbutrin 300xl cold turkey May 8, 2017

Started having symptoms started June 2, 2017. Started Wellbutrin 150xl July 7, 2017

Started Remeron 15mg August 15, 2017. Increased Remeron to 30mg October 4, 2017

Increased Wellbutrin to 300xl November 24, 2017. Lowered Wellbutrin 300xl back to 150xl January 8, 2018

Started weaning off of Remeron 30mg. Cut to 22.25mg January 11, 2018

Cut Remeron to 15mg January 18, 2018 Cut Remeron to 7.5mg January 25, 2018

Cut Remeron to 3.5mg January 30,2018. Stopped taking Remeron February 1, 2018

Currently taking: Fish Oil, Magnesium, Calcium, Vit D, Progesterone,

Hormone Replacement Pellets-Estrogen Testosterone 

Link to post

Thanks, mirage.

 

Akathisia most of the day.  Very irritable.  Had to stay home.  

https://www.survivingantidepressants.org/topic/16629-rosetta-ct-may-2011-too-fast-taper-feb-2017/?page=25

2001-2011 Celexa 10 mg raised to 40 mg then 60 mg over this time period

May 2011 OB Doctor's Cold switch Celexa 60 mg to 10 mg Zoloft sertraline (baby born)

2012-2016 - Doctors raised dose of Zoloft up to 150 mg

2016 - Xanax prescribed - as needed - 0.5 mg about every 3 days (bad reaction)

2016 - Stopped Xanax

Late 2016- Began (too fast) taper of Zoloft

Early 2017 - Trazodone prescribed for bedtime (doseage unknown)

Feb 2017 - Completed taper/stopped Trazodone

Drug free since Feb 2017

2017 - Unisom otc very rarely for sleep

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Rosetta,

Sending you my love and just want you to know, your going to be alright and one day you will look back at this and realize how amazingly strong you are.

This torture will end it just takes time.

 

Huggs to you xoxoxoxoxo

 

P.S sorry I don't write much on your thread  as I'm not the best in writing

-1995 started paxil 20mg for depression, over the years slowly increasing to 50mg up until 2014 

-2014 I decided to tapper myself not knowing how to

and crashed and doctor added 50mg of Seraquel 

I then tried again to stop taking both and ended up in hospital trying all different drugs, I soon realised after searching the internet that I was going through withdrawal, I then reinstated 40mg paxil and 50mg Seraquel 

-2015 tried tapering again too quickly and CRASHED

2/11/16  -43mg Seraquel   -40mg Paxil           

17/1/17   -43mg                   -New Paxil Brand                   

14/03/17  -43mg                   -39.5mg 

23/05/17  -43mg                   -39mg 

08/07/17  -43mg                   -38.5mg

01/09/17 -37.5mg               -37.5mg 

12/10/17  -37.5mg             - 37mg

28/10/17 -37.5mg               -36mg
19/01/18- 37.5mg               -35mg
2/05/18 -  37.5mg               -34.8mg
15/05/18 37.5mg                -34.5mg
24/05/18  37.5mg              -34mg
12/07/18 37.5mg               -33.mg
3/08/18 37.5mg                  -32.5mg  
28/08/18  37.5mg.              -31mg
16/12/18 37.5mg                -30mg
10/3/19  36.25mg              -30mg
17/3/19  35mg                   -30mg
26/3/19  33.75mg              -30mg
4/04/19 32.5mg                -30mg
21/04/19  30mg                -30mg
16/07/19  28.75 mg         -30mg
5/08/19   27.5mg             -30mg    
19/08/19 25mg                -30mg
20/10/19  25mg              -29mg
17/11/19 25mg              -28mg
7/01/20    25mg               -27mg
12/02/20   25mg             -26mg
7/03/20   25mg             -25mg
11/04/20   25mg           -24mg
4/05/20   -25mg         -23mg
5/06/20    -25mg          -22mg
23/06/20  -25mg         -21mg
15/07/20  25mg         -20mg 
04/08/20 23mg           -20mg
18/08/20 22.5mg        -20mg
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Thanks, @Cheeky. I need to hear that over and over.  I hope ou are doing ok, honey. -R

https://www.survivingantidepressants.org/topic/16629-rosetta-ct-may-2011-too-fast-taper-feb-2017/?page=25

2001-2011 Celexa 10 mg raised to 40 mg then 60 mg over this time period

May 2011 OB Doctor's Cold switch Celexa 60 mg to 10 mg Zoloft sertraline (baby born)

2012-2016 - Doctors raised dose of Zoloft up to 150 mg

2016 - Xanax prescribed - as needed - 0.5 mg about every 3 days (bad reaction)

2016 - Stopped Xanax

Late 2016- Began (too fast) taper of Zoloft

Early 2017 - Trazodone prescribed for bedtime (doseage unknown)

Feb 2017 - Completed taper/stopped Trazodone

Drug free since Feb 2017

2017 - Unisom otc very rarely for sleep

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Ugh, so sorry you had such a hard day, Rosetta.  I don't know if you read Pug's latest update in the Success Stories but it is inspiring.  You too will be writing your success story.....you are going to be ok.  Thinking about you - WR.

-1/06 - 3/07 Cymbalta. Fast taper; withdrawal symptoms after 4 mos (didn't realize was WD)

-10/07: 100 mg Zoloft; 1 mg Klonopin - tapered off Klonopin
-Tried several times to slowly taper Zoloft by 10%, then 5% every 4-6 weeks; could never get below approx. 40 mg - spring 2012 experienced major WD symptoms due to stress; tried to updose but no relief, back on Klonopin 1 mg.
-Switched over 5-6 mos from Zoloft to Citalopram. Finished Zoloft 1/13; Citalopram 35 mg and 1 mg Klonopin.
-8/13: 27 mg Citalopram; 1 mg Klonopin

-11/14: 12.6 Citalopram - began to have bad withdrawal symptoms; out of desperation increased to 1.25 mg Klonopin at the beginning of December.  12/13/14 16 mg Citalopram - going to stay here to try to stabilize; stabilized on 16 mg Citalopram after 4-5 months

-7/15 - 3/16: reduced to 15 mg; ~ 2 months later w/d hit hard (probably r/t stress); 6/16 updosed to 20 mg Citalopram and trying to stabilize. Updosed to 1.5 Klonopin as well. Stabilized on 20 mg Citalopram after 4-5 months

8/17-9/17: feeling withdrawal symptoms at 20 mg Citalopram (due to stress) - slowly increased to 25 mg. No change in symptoms after 6 months (? tolerance ?)  - decided to start citalopram taper February 2018 (still on Klonopin 1.5 mg).

Supplements: fish oil; vitamin D3; curcumin

Citalopram taper:  2/2018 - 12/2019: 25 mg - 11.03 mg

2020: 1/14/20: 10.89 mg (1.27% drop); 1/22/20: 10.75 mg (1.29% drop); 2/28/20 toe surgery; 4/26/20: 10.62 mg (1.21% drop); 5/3/20: 10.5 mg (1.22% drop); 5/10/20: 10.4 mg (1.24% drop); 5/17/20: 10.2 mg (1.25% drop); 6/7/20: 10.10 mg (1.27% drop); 6/14/20: 9.98 mg (1.19% drop); 6/21/20: 9.85 mg (1.30% drop); 6/28/20: 9.7 mg (1.22% drop); 7/12/20: 9.6 mg (1.23% drop); 7/19/20: 9.5 mg (1.25% drop); 7/26/20: 9.4 mg (1.26% drop); 8/2/20: 9.3 mg (1.28% drop); 8/17/20: 9.14 mg (1.19% drop); 8/31/20: 9.0 mg (1.31% drop); 9/6/20: 8.9 mg (1.22% drop); 9/27/20: 8.8 mg (1.23% drop); 10/4/20: 8.7 mg (1.25% drop); 10/11/20: 8.6 mg (1.27% drop); 10/18/20: 8.5 mg (1.28% drop); 11/8/20: 8.4 mg (1.18% drop); 11/15/20: 8.3 mg (1.19% drop); 11/22/20: 8.2 mg (1.21% drop)

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@Rosetta Take the time you need when you need it and know that you will be able to do more soon. 

 

Sending hugs, prayers and good wishes for you. 

Started Wellbutrin 300xl mid July, 2009. Stopped Wellbutrin 300xl cold turkey May 8, 2017

Started having symptoms started June 2, 2017. Started Wellbutrin 150xl July 7, 2017

Started Remeron 15mg August 15, 2017. Increased Remeron to 30mg October 4, 2017

Increased Wellbutrin to 300xl November 24, 2017. Lowered Wellbutrin 300xl back to 150xl January 8, 2018

Started weaning off of Remeron 30mg. Cut to 22.25mg January 11, 2018

Cut Remeron to 15mg January 18, 2018 Cut Remeron to 7.5mg January 25, 2018

Cut Remeron to 3.5mg January 30,2018. Stopped taking Remeron February 1, 2018

Currently taking: Fish Oil, Magnesium, Calcium, Vit D, Progesterone,

Hormone Replacement Pellets-Estrogen Testosterone 

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  • ChessieCat changed the title to Rosetta: cold switch May 2011 & too fast taper Feb 2017

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