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Rosetta: cold switch May 2011 & too fast taper Feb 2017


Rosetta

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Thanks @wantrelief. I will read Pug's update.  

 

I took one ibuprophen tab to see if that will help me sleep tonight.

 

Last night, sleep was ok.  I heated my shoulder wrap once but had no problem going back to sleep.  

 

However, I woke up at 6:00 -- a new wave must have started then.  I'm not sure I slept again after that.  I lay there and worried.  All day I had akathisia.  

 

My friend brought her two boys over to visit.  They irritated me - they are 4 and 6.  They aren't nice to each other.  They touch everything; they break things, it's very hard to have them here, but I cancelled on her last week, and she's the most loyal friend I have.  She's so kind to me.  I don't want to neglect her just because her kids are annoying.  However, I found it very difficult to have them here -- even outside.  

 

The aka is in my arms, legs and my jaw and neck.  Ringing in my ears.  My mind is racing.

https://www.survivingantidepressants.org/topic/16629-rosetta-ct-may-2011-too-fast-taper-feb-2017/?page=25

2001-2011 Celexa 10 mg raised to 40 mg then 60 mg over this time period

May 2011 OB Doctor's Cold switch Celexa 60 mg to 10 mg Zoloft sertraline (baby born)

2012-2016 - Doctors raised dose of Zoloft up to 150 mg

2016 - Xanax prescribed - as needed - 0.5 mg about every 3 days (bad reaction)

2016 - Stopped Xanax

Late 2016- Began (too fast) taper of Zoloft

Early 2017 - Trazodone prescribed for bedtime (doseage unknown)

Feb 2017 - Completed taper/stopped Trazodone

Drug free since Feb 2017

2017 - Unisom otc very rarely for sleep

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Thanks, @Sheera.  Thank you, @bubbles.   I forgot to note that something physical has changed, and it’s a big deal.  Last Fall, in August, I tried to wear contact lenses again.  I had given

@Amira123 Oh, yes, all of that!  It all slowly lessened over time.  There were windows when I felt relief from those symptoms.  Then, they would come back and go away again.  At times, I had bad waves

I wrote something similar to this to another member, and I thought I would post it here before I sign off:   It WILL get better.  I am SO MUCH better!  Sometimes I think I should pinch mysel

Aka hasn't let up.  It's been at least 24 hours with no break.  I'm having a hard time avoiding panic.  I had a break in the evening two evenings ago.

 

Sleep last night wasn't great, but I didn't have strong cortisol spikes.  The feeling of fear and intense anxiety never stopped and yet I slept.  I heated my shoulder wrap once.  

 

I'm trying to remember that this will stop at some point.  I'm trying not to spiral.  It's very difficult.  I want to die and yet, of course, I don't want that at all.  I want this feeling to stop.  That's what I want.  I can't believe there is nothing I can take.  

 

The last bout of aka and this one are the most intense I have had since November, I think.  

 

Moderators  Would taking Benadryl be an option or would that backfire?  I read that red wine helps some people with aka.  Is Benadryl a better option than trying wine?  I'm not sure how much more I can handle if I don't get relief today.

https://www.survivingantidepressants.org/topic/16629-rosetta-ct-may-2011-too-fast-taper-feb-2017/?page=25

2001-2011 Celexa 10 mg raised to 40 mg then 60 mg over this time period

May 2011 OB Doctor's Cold switch Celexa 60 mg to 10 mg Zoloft sertraline (baby born)

2012-2016 - Doctors raised dose of Zoloft up to 150 mg

2016 - Xanax prescribed - as needed - 0.5 mg about every 3 days (bad reaction)

2016 - Stopped Xanax

Late 2016- Began (too fast) taper of Zoloft

Early 2017 - Trazodone prescribed for bedtime (doseage unknown)

Feb 2017 - Completed taper/stopped Trazodone

Drug free since Feb 2017

2017 - Unisom otc very rarely for sleep

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brassmonkey

Hi Rosetta--  I'm so sorry that you're having so much trouble right now. You've said yourself that it will get better, and it will, it's just a real trial getting through it.  Do what you can to try and relax, every little bit helps.

 

I would avoid the wine, alcohol is so unpredictable when one is in a bad wave.  The first time it may help calm things but the second could easily go the other way and make things a lot worse.

 

Your signature says you  occasionally took Unisom last year, how did it affect you when you did?  Unisom is just benadryl in a different package.  Other members have had a full range of responses to benadryl so it's really hard to give an exact answer.  You might try a site search to get some more information.  But I'd be careful with it also.

 

Brass

20 years on Paxil starting at 20mg and working up to 40mg. Sept 2011 started 10% every 6 weeks taper (2.5% every week for 4 weeks then hold for 2 additional weeks), currently at 7.9mg. Oct 2011 CTed 15oz vodka a night, to only drinking 2 beers most nights, totally sober Feb 2013.

Since I wrote this I have continued to decrease my dose by 10% every 6 weeks (2.5% every week for 4 weeks and then hold for an additional 2 weeks). I added in an extra 6 week hold when I hit 10mg to let things settle out even more. When I hit 3mgpw it became hard to split the drop into 4 parts so I switched to dropping 1mgpw (pill weight) every week for 3 weeks and then holding for another 3 weeks.  The 3 + 3 schedule turned out to be too harsh so I cut back to dropping 1mgpw every 4 weeks which is working better.

Current dose 0.000mg 04-15-2017

 

"It's also important not to become angry, no matter how difficult life is, because you can loose all hope if you can't laugh at yourself and at life in general."  Stephen Hawking

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FarmGirlWorks

Hey @Rosetta, so so sorry to hear you are in the roughness with this crap. I have to keep reminding myself that I felt better last week (or sometime) and that I will again. From your thread, that seems true as well as there have been times when you've improved so much. One step forward, two back, and so on and so on. * As per Benadryl (did not know that Unisom was essentially that), I did use it this winter *occasionally* in the morning if my hands were shaking and sometimes to get to sleep. Was wary of it though as this site is against its use and it messes with histamines; stopped as soon as possible (a few months ago). If Unisom worked for you then maybe... gut feeling is to stay away from the alcohol. * Hope you feel better soon, so much.

  • Prozac | late 2004-mid-2005 | CT WD in a couple months, mostly emotional
  • Sertraline 50-100mg | 11/2011-3/2014, 10/2014-3/2017
  • Sertraline fast taper March 2017, 4 weeks, OFF sertraline April 1, 2017
  • Quit alcohol May 20, 2017, quit coffee October 2017, quit cannabis 😩 July 2018
  • Magnesium powder, fish oil, estradiol, kombucha, gluten/dairy/histamine-lite
  • Lifestyle changes: AA, kundalini practice

 

"If you've seen a monster, even if it's horrible, that's evidence of divinity." – Damien Echols

 

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Thank you, Brassmonkey.  It has been since before the New Year that I took Unisom.  It helped me sleep, and I had no anxiety upon awakening.  Instead, I felt groggy.  don't know if using Unisom had negative effects last year or not because I was such a mess back then!!  I was having terrible, terrible aka until about the second week of December.  I honestly don't remember when I stopped using Unisom.  When I did use it, I took it once every two or three days.  What scares me is that using it will set my progress back or cause even a temporary bad experience.

 

Right now, I seem to be sleeping ok despite the aka.  Maybe I'm sleeping due to exhaustion.  Once the sun is down I am toast.  This morning, I was intensely anxious.  After I wrote the post I got my child ready for camp and went in the car with her.  We dropped her off and tried to get coffee, but the new coffee place was awful.  They roast their own beans, and they didn't roast these long enough.

 

My husband took me to breakfast somewhere else, and I broke down in tears in the place.  That fear and feeling of missing my child's life -- that feeling that I was in imminent danger of losing her became extremely intense.  I call that aka for lack of a better word -- it's accompanied by a physical feeling of electric vibration in my arms and legs and muscle tension in my neck and shoulders.  The riskRx website calls that aka, but I'm sure there should be a new name for it because most people would not find that definition.  As bad as I felt this morning, while in this restaurant it became its most intense.  It is perhaps a severe lack of GABA?  An extreme level of glutamate?  It would seem that Benadryl is the best antidote (besides time.)

 

After I cried I didn't feel better immediately.  It was about 20 minutes later that I felt somewhat better and about 2 hours or so when the aka calmed enough that I felt I could endure it.  

 

Thank you, too, @FarmGirlWorks. Yes, you are probably right.  

 

Now I feel back to WD normal.  I hope it lasts a while.

https://www.survivingantidepressants.org/topic/16629-rosetta-ct-may-2011-too-fast-taper-feb-2017/?page=25

2001-2011 Celexa 10 mg raised to 40 mg then 60 mg over this time period

May 2011 OB Doctor's Cold switch Celexa 60 mg to 10 mg Zoloft sertraline (baby born)

2012-2016 - Doctors raised dose of Zoloft up to 150 mg

2016 - Xanax prescribed - as needed - 0.5 mg about every 3 days (bad reaction)

2016 - Stopped Xanax

Late 2016- Began (too fast) taper of Zoloft

Early 2017 - Trazodone prescribed for bedtime (doseage unknown)

Feb 2017 - Completed taper/stopped Trazodone

Drug free since Feb 2017

2017 - Unisom otc very rarely for sleep

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  • Moderator Emeritus

Hi Rosetta, 

 

Im so sorry you have been going through such a hard time. Akathisia really is the worst withdrawal symptom ever. When it’s bad you just can’t settle. I crochet all day long just to get me through the day when it’s bad so that I don’t go nuts. I also watch one tv series after another. It takes me no time to get through a whole series. 

 

It must be hard having a young child and feeling like you’re missing out on her life. Sometimes we do need a good cry.  Im glad you found a nice friend, sorry the kids annoyed you though. 

 

I hope your WD normal lasts for a while too and you get a bit of reprieve.

 

Sending hugs🤗💚

 

 

Been on antipsychotics, benzos, antidepressants and painkillers for chronic pain. 

Have been cold turkeyed and put on and off all sorts of things.  Was suicidal n ended up in a psych ward because I had akathisia from withdrawals. I can’t remember what I was put on but when I was released was in the same predicament with severe akathisia n was suicidal again.

Back to the psych ward and I was given a number of different drugs while there. Tapered off one when I got home n have been trying to taper off Seroquel since. It’s been years, tapering slowly but still having severe withdrawals.

I’ve  tapered from 300mg of Seroquel to 7.5mg./ March 10th 2019=7.25mg / 17th of April 2019= 7mg / June 5th=6.75mg/ July 14th=6.50mg/ 28th of August=6.25mg/ 10th of Oct= 6.20mg/ 21st October 6mg/ 16th of December 5.80mg/21st of January 5.60mg/

 

I AM NOT A MEDICAL PROFESSIONAL. These are my own views based on what I’ve experienced myself.

 

 

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Thanks, Carmie.

 

Tonight, I'm feeling ok.  Sad, but ok.

https://www.survivingantidepressants.org/topic/16629-rosetta-ct-may-2011-too-fast-taper-feb-2017/?page=25

2001-2011 Celexa 10 mg raised to 40 mg then 60 mg over this time period

May 2011 OB Doctor's Cold switch Celexa 60 mg to 10 mg Zoloft sertraline (baby born)

2012-2016 - Doctors raised dose of Zoloft up to 150 mg

2016 - Xanax prescribed - as needed - 0.5 mg about every 3 days (bad reaction)

2016 - Stopped Xanax

Late 2016- Began (too fast) taper of Zoloft

Early 2017 - Trazodone prescribed for bedtime (doseage unknown)

Feb 2017 - Completed taper/stopped Trazodone

Drug free since Feb 2017

2017 - Unisom otc very rarely for sleep

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  • Moderator Emeritus
1 hour ago, Rosetta said:

Thanks, Carmie.

 

Tonight, I'm feeling ok.  Sad, but ok.

 

Glad your feeling okay today, 

 

Yes, this definitely is a sad journey. We can just take each moment as it comes. Sometimes we have to submerge like a submarine when the waves are too severe, but that submarine always rises back to the surface again at some stage. While submerged we just have to keep distracting ourselves. 

 

Just take each moment as it as it comes and try and get through it, that’s all we can do. 

 

Sending you massive big hugs🤗🤗🤗

Been on antipsychotics, benzos, antidepressants and painkillers for chronic pain. 

Have been cold turkeyed and put on and off all sorts of things.  Was suicidal n ended up in a psych ward because I had akathisia from withdrawals. I can’t remember what I was put on but when I was released was in the same predicament with severe akathisia n was suicidal again.

Back to the psych ward and I was given a number of different drugs while there. Tapered off one when I got home n have been trying to taper off Seroquel since. It’s been years, tapering slowly but still having severe withdrawals.

I’ve  tapered from 300mg of Seroquel to 7.5mg./ March 10th 2019=7.25mg / 17th of April 2019= 7mg / June 5th=6.75mg/ July 14th=6.50mg/ 28th of August=6.25mg/ 10th of Oct= 6.20mg/ 21st October 6mg/ 16th of December 5.80mg/21st of January 5.60mg/

 

I AM NOT A MEDICAL PROFESSIONAL. These are my own views based on what I’ve experienced myself.

 

 

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  • Moderator Emeritus

 

17 hours ago, Rosetta said:

Would taking Benadryl be an option or would that backfire?  I read that red wine helps some people with aka.  Is Benadryl a better option than trying wine? 

 

I know that diphenhydramine (the drug in Unisom and Benadryl) is sometimes used by doctors to treat akathisia.  I don't have experience with it but there's a bit more info here: antihistamines for withdrawal insomnia diphenhydramine doxylamine hydroxyzine

 

I do have some experience with alcohol - in withdrawal it triggers anxiety for me.

2001–2002 paroxetine

2003  citalopram

2004-2008  paroxetine (various failed tapers) 
2008  paroxetine slow taper down to

2016  Aug off paroxetine
2016  citalopram May 20mg  Oct 15mg … slow taper down
2018  citalopram 13 Feb 4.6mg 15 Mar 4.4mg 29 Apr 4.2mg 6 Jul 4.1mg 17 Aug 4.0mg  18 Nov 3.8mg
2019  15 Mar 3.6mg  21 May 3.4mg  26 Dec 3.2mg 

2020  19 Feb 3.0mg 19 July 2.9mg  16 Sep 2.8mg  25 Oct 2.7mg

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13 hours ago, Rosetta said:

Sad, but ok.

I have this feeling alot. A kind of quiet sadness. I think it is almost like I miss myself.

New hopefully cleaner, signature

2001 - Klonopin (.125 mg) for anxiety and sleep at night.

2010 - depressed, tried several SSRI's, settled in 2011 on Saphris (5 mg)

2011 - Dystonic reaction from Saphris. CT. Terrible withdrawal. Panic. 

2011 - Attempts to stablize: Klonopin 1.0 mg. Xanax 1mg. Geoden 20mg. Wellbutrin 100mg. Tried at this time: Seroquel, Cymbalta, Lamictal 

2014 - Vyvanse 20 mg/ADHD, Gabapentin 300 mg added/bladder pain. Wellbutrin fast taper/Rash.

2016 - Depressed - Lithium 300mg til June/Rash and only marginally effective.

2017 - June - Saphris 5 mg added cogentin for side effects

2017 - September Fast taper Saphris. Aug 29. Terrible withdrawal. Panic.

2017 - Attempts to stablize: Lithium: Aug 31 - Sept 9. Stopped. Geoden 40mg Sept 9. Fast taper to 20 mg Sept 13.  Reinstated Saphris Sept 9 (1.25 mg), updosed the Saphris Sept 11 (.2.5mg) .Vyvanse 5mg for ADHD Stopped Sept 14, reinstated sept 17. Cut to 3mg sometime in March.

Omezerpole/reflux. Fish oil supplements. .5 cogentin for possible reactions to Saphris. Oct 25 water taper of Geoden 20mg,  11/18 next 10% drop. Hold at 16.2mg. Dec 12 begin Saphris 2.5 mg taper on scale. Rapid taper doc rec./bad idea. Hold at 1.2mg, updose 2/13. Split Geoden dose 11AM/12mg 7:30PM/6mg. 3/26 Updose Geoden by 2mg to 18mg. Dec 1 split Klonopin dose. 3/23 12 hours apart 3/27. 6/18 1 mg klonopin split 12 hours apart. Sometime in Feb. Klonopin increase to 1.5 to avoid hospital. 6/4 updose Saphris to .015mg July 1 cut Saphris to .014mg. July 29 .013 Aug 29 .012 Sept 29 .011Oct 29 .010 Dec 6 .009 (0.9 mgai) Jan 26 .008 (0.8mgai) Feb 25 (0.7mgai) March 25 (0.6mgai) May 24 begin liquid taper. Cut sublingual tab to .020 in 5ML water. Pull out 1.25ML (.05mgai) 6/14 1ML .025 dry dose dissolved (.045mgai) 7/7 .Dissolve .025 in 8ML drink .009ML 7/28Dissolve .025 in 8ML drink .008ML. 8/18 Jumping! 1/10/20 Geoden taper 18mg to 16mg.2/14 14mg. 3/20 13mg 4/29 11mg 5/21 10mg/6/13 9mg/7/4 8mg/7/24 7mg 8/4 6mg 11/8 5.4mg

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10 minutes ago, DMV64 said:

I have this feeling alot. A kind of quiet sadness. I think it is almost like I miss myself.

 

Yes, I miss myself, and I miss being able to share myself with others.   Someday . . .

https://www.survivingantidepressants.org/topic/16629-rosetta-ct-may-2011-too-fast-taper-feb-2017/?page=25

2001-2011 Celexa 10 mg raised to 40 mg then 60 mg over this time period

May 2011 OB Doctor's Cold switch Celexa 60 mg to 10 mg Zoloft sertraline (baby born)

2012-2016 - Doctors raised dose of Zoloft up to 150 mg

2016 - Xanax prescribed - as needed - 0.5 mg about every 3 days (bad reaction)

2016 - Stopped Xanax

Late 2016- Began (too fast) taper of Zoloft

Early 2017 - Trazodone prescribed for bedtime (doseage unknown)

Feb 2017 - Completed taper/stopped Trazodone

Drug free since Feb 2017

2017 - Unisom otc very rarely for sleep

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Thank you, Songbird.  I read through that, too.  Maybe next time I'll try it.

 

Last night was ok -- typical insomnia for a short while in the night.  I had to turn on the air conditioning and warm my shoulder wrap twice.  Overall, I slept well.  I had no cortisol spikes and I woke up with less anxiety.

 

There is still no Mother Nature, but I wonder if that bout with aka was initiated by a hormone change too slight to start the process.  However, it's very strange how I could have such intense aka when the hormones are less effective.  

 

(Thanks, Carmie.  I'm still avoiding threads.)

 

Everyone, I'm thinking of each of you even if I can't read threads.  

https://www.survivingantidepressants.org/topic/16629-rosetta-ct-may-2011-too-fast-taper-feb-2017/?page=25

2001-2011 Celexa 10 mg raised to 40 mg then 60 mg over this time period

May 2011 OB Doctor's Cold switch Celexa 60 mg to 10 mg Zoloft sertraline (baby born)

2012-2016 - Doctors raised dose of Zoloft up to 150 mg

2016 - Xanax prescribed - as needed - 0.5 mg about every 3 days (bad reaction)

2016 - Stopped Xanax

Late 2016- Began (too fast) taper of Zoloft

Early 2017 - Trazodone prescribed for bedtime (doseage unknown)

Feb 2017 - Completed taper/stopped Trazodone

Drug free since Feb 2017

2017 - Unisom otc very rarely for sleep

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jonnypeters1234567

Well done for getting so far Rosetta. Do you still suffer from emotional blunting?

2009-2010 Citalopram 20mg CT no problems

 

Sertaline 2010- 6monnths

 

2011- 2017 June 2017- Citalopram 20mg CT

 

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(Jonny, I answered on your thread.)

 

I wrote this synopsis of the first year of withdrawal for me:

 

I quit in mid-February after a fast taper, and WD wasn't terrible until July.  So, about 4 months passed before I was desperately ill.  There were many signs of WD in those months, but I had no idea WD could happen with ADs.  So, I believed for a long while that I had delayed WD.  I'm not sure about that now.  However, the first month or so was better than being on the medication or at least it seemed that way.  Then, I started to get dystonia and worsening anxiety as well as problems with my digestion, appetite, chills, sweats, and a lot of other strange symptoms that paraded through.   Most of them are intermittent and have become less severe.

 

The 5th month, July, was when I realized I was in trouble.  My mental health became steadily worse in August, September, and October. I understand now that worsening Akathisia was a major part of this ordeal.  Insomnia did not seem to be a huge issue, but I suspect that I had very little quality sleep.  By October I was experiencing DP, DR, and SI essentially everyday.  I had found SA in July, but my cognition was very poor, and I understood only the basics: time will heal, do not reinstate late, you are not psychotic, you are not bi-polar, just hold on for dear life until you want to live again -- it will happen!  

 

I could not even join the site because I was terrified of the people here -- even the moderators.  I was terrified of almost everything in life.  I still have no idea how I survived, but I have a child who was 5 when I quit ADs.  So, I gave SAs theories a chance for her.  

 

November, month 9, was the worst, and then I had a window in early December.  I started to see improvement after that.   It would be snatched away periodically, of course, but then a window would arrive.  The waves became a bit shorter and the windows a bit longer.  In mid-February, the one year point, I was still struggling with pretty severe anxiety off and on.  Now, I have Akathisia and severe anxiety occasionally such as once a week for a day or so.  Sometimes it's particularly bad, but usually it's not panic inducing.  Lately, it has been panic inducing.  I hope that's about to stop.

 

The dystonia continues to improve more and more with the end of every wave.  That's the symptom that consistently reminds me that I'm improving steadily.  The continuing resolution of dystonia gives me hope that all the other symptoms will resolve soon too.

 

Based on the rate of progress from December to February I'm surprised at how much trouble I'm having now.  But, this is not linear and the rate of change is not steady.

https://www.survivingantidepressants.org/topic/16629-rosetta-ct-may-2011-too-fast-taper-feb-2017/?page=25

2001-2011 Celexa 10 mg raised to 40 mg then 60 mg over this time period

May 2011 OB Doctor's Cold switch Celexa 60 mg to 10 mg Zoloft sertraline (baby born)

2012-2016 - Doctors raised dose of Zoloft up to 150 mg

2016 - Xanax prescribed - as needed - 0.5 mg about every 3 days (bad reaction)

2016 - Stopped Xanax

Late 2016- Began (too fast) taper of Zoloft

Early 2017 - Trazodone prescribed for bedtime (doseage unknown)

Feb 2017 - Completed taper/stopped Trazodone

Drug free since Feb 2017

2017 - Unisom otc very rarely for sleep

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5 hours ago, Rosetta said:

 

Yes, I miss myself, and I miss being able to share myself with others.   Someday . . .

I can totally relate to this Rosetta.  I really miss the easy way I could relate to others and really enjoy my time with them.

Zoloft 50 mg Fall 2003-October 2016

I went up to 150 mg for several months during the winter of 2016 after going through a tough time trying to stabilize.

Lexapro 5 mg and then 10 mg October 2016-December 2016

Paxil December 2016 to present.  Started at 10 mg went up to 20 mg for three weeks and started reducing by 5mg every 2 weeks per doctors orders.  Got down to 7.5 mg and ran into trouble, found this website and updosed to 10 mg.

 9mg paroxetine June 18-6.5 mg in am 2.5 mg pm.  

July 20 began switch to Citalopram-9 mg Paxil and 5 mg citalopram

July 24-7.5mg paroxetine and 7.5mg Citalopram 

July 27-5mg paroxetine and 10 citalopram 

July 30-2.5 paroxetine and 10 of Citalopram 

August 2-2mg paroxetine and 10mg Citalopram, dropped paroxetine Aug. 3

August 8 increased to 15 mg citalopram

Take 1mg lorazepam as needed and 3mg melatonin at night.

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I feel you share yourself far more than you feel you do Rosetta...you write beautiful, insightful, honest posts of your feelings and thoughts and hopes and fears.  I kind of feel this is like the runway for an airplane...we can share here because we are sharing with others who understand/  Once we get up to speed again we will fly and share ourselves more freely again....

You are most special!  Continue to take care of you...💜

-Nardil 1976 < year, stopped. Reactions to AD's. Klonopin .5BID ?1990, 2.5mg ? til 2016

-Klonopin doubled Jan '16. Tapered to 2.25mg May '16 to Nov '16, Heart raced after 1 Lexapro, stopped. Reacting to Prevacid to tapered off. Nov

-November '16 Tapered .25mg Klonopin in hospital. Jan 2 '17 started Viibryd, 20mg from 2/20 to 6/10 '17,     

-20mg to 10mg Viibryd from 3/25 to 6/10 2017, 12/15 10% Viibryd taper...back up next day

-Clonazepam 2mg to 1.85mg 4/14 '17 to end November; taper to 1mg Clonazepam in hospital 9/1 tp 9/14 '17

-Feb '18 Amiloride .25mg  5/18 off Amiloride d/t react. Clonaz compounded  

-4/27 '18 Viibryd 9.5mg, 6/11 9.0 mg, 1/27 '19 Viibryd 8.75mg, ; Clonazepam .2mg 530pm and .7mg 1130pm, Premarin .3mg 830PM CARAFATE QID 2/27/19 to 3/5/19

-July 6'19 1/2 10mg Claritin 230pm, stopped it about July 18, started Oct 11 '19, 

-7/27 Viibryd 8.5, 8/29 Viibryd 8.25 -10/18 Carafate 1/2 NOC-10/24 Viibryd 8.0, 12/6 Viibryd 7.75, K+ 10meq qd

-NOW 1115am-Viibryd 7.75mg, 3pm-K+ 5mg, 515pm-Clonaz .2mg, 6pm-K+ 5mg, 830pm-Premarin .3mg,1115pm-Clonaz .9mg, 115am Carafate .5gm.

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Thank you, Hazel.  @Hazel I'm sorry you feel that.  It's very sad.  Someday we will feel completely normal. 

 

Rabe, thanks for always having something kind to say.  It is so important that we have others who understand.  I could not go through this without that.  I feel so odd and uncomfortable as it is, and to know this is common for others and will pass is keeping me going.

 

Journal: 

Yesterday, I was quite anxious until about 1:00.  I took a shower at 12:30, and that relaxed me some.  We went to my mother in laws.  It was cold there because of a storm off the coast.  So, I was inside all day.  At my house it was a beautiful sunny day, but oh well.  I had dinner with my mother in law while my husband went to play music with some friends and then my daughter and drove home alone.  

 

My sleep last night was ok.  Typical wake up at about 12:30.  I had a slight spike because I had not heard my husband come home, but once I found he was there the anxiety dissipated, and I fell asleep again.  I heated my wrap only twice.  I was enjoying the breeze coming through the window and the sounds of the night so I didn't close the window or draw the blind.  I woke up with tension in my right shoulder and neck due to the light and the crows' incessant cawing.  Yet, I had no cortisol spike.  

 

Today, I feel anxious, sad, etc., etc.. Same old same old.  Trying to ignore it.  House a mess.  Afraid to try to fix it, blah, blah, blah.  I keep thinking: I'm just going to tackle a corner, throw some things away, pack things up for Goodwill, etc.. Someday, I will.  Eventually, I will be able to make a difference here.  

 

I guess I'm in the trough of depression that seems to arrive after a bad anxiety/aka wave.

https://www.survivingantidepressants.org/topic/16629-rosetta-ct-may-2011-too-fast-taper-feb-2017/?page=25

2001-2011 Celexa 10 mg raised to 40 mg then 60 mg over this time period

May 2011 OB Doctor's Cold switch Celexa 60 mg to 10 mg Zoloft sertraline (baby born)

2012-2016 - Doctors raised dose of Zoloft up to 150 mg

2016 - Xanax prescribed - as needed - 0.5 mg about every 3 days (bad reaction)

2016 - Stopped Xanax

Late 2016- Began (too fast) taper of Zoloft

Early 2017 - Trazodone prescribed for bedtime (doseage unknown)

Feb 2017 - Completed taper/stopped Trazodone

Drug free since Feb 2017

2017 - Unisom otc very rarely for sleep

Link to post
  • Moderator Emeritus
8 hours ago, Rosetta said:

I keep thinking: I'm just going to tackle a corner, throw some things away, pack things up for Goodwill, etc.. Someday, I will.  Eventually, I will be able to make a difference here.  

 

 

This is so me!  My bedroom was starting to look like an episode of "Hoarders".  The other day I spent a small fortune on baskets so I could make it at least look tidy.  I haven't actually dealt with most of the stuff, just stuffed it into baskets, but at least the room looks a bit better.  On days when I have more energy I sometimes manage to work on a small corner.  Eventually you will too.  I've found it best to just listen to my body and what it wants to do.  If it wants to rest, I rest.  If I have energy and motivation I try to get a bit of something done.

2001–2002 paroxetine

2003  citalopram

2004-2008  paroxetine (various failed tapers) 
2008  paroxetine slow taper down to

2016  Aug off paroxetine
2016  citalopram May 20mg  Oct 15mg … slow taper down
2018  citalopram 13 Feb 4.6mg 15 Mar 4.4mg 29 Apr 4.2mg 6 Jul 4.1mg 17 Aug 4.0mg  18 Nov 3.8mg
2019  15 Mar 3.6mg  21 May 3.4mg  26 Dec 3.2mg 

2020  19 Feb 3.0mg 19 July 2.9mg  16 Sep 2.8mg  25 Oct 2.7mg

Link to post

Thinking bout you Rosetta! 💜

-Nardil 1976 < year, stopped. Reactions to AD's. Klonopin .5BID ?1990, 2.5mg ? til 2016

-Klonopin doubled Jan '16. Tapered to 2.25mg May '16 to Nov '16, Heart raced after 1 Lexapro, stopped. Reacting to Prevacid to tapered off. Nov

-November '16 Tapered .25mg Klonopin in hospital. Jan 2 '17 started Viibryd, 20mg from 2/20 to 6/10 '17,     

-20mg to 10mg Viibryd from 3/25 to 6/10 2017, 12/15 10% Viibryd taper...back up next day

-Clonazepam 2mg to 1.85mg 4/14 '17 to end November; taper to 1mg Clonazepam in hospital 9/1 tp 9/14 '17

-Feb '18 Amiloride .25mg  5/18 off Amiloride d/t react. Clonaz compounded  

-4/27 '18 Viibryd 9.5mg, 6/11 9.0 mg, 1/27 '19 Viibryd 8.75mg, ; Clonazepam .2mg 530pm and .7mg 1130pm, Premarin .3mg 830PM CARAFATE QID 2/27/19 to 3/5/19

-July 6'19 1/2 10mg Claritin 230pm, stopped it about July 18, started Oct 11 '19, 

-7/27 Viibryd 8.5, 8/29 Viibryd 8.25 -10/18 Carafate 1/2 NOC-10/24 Viibryd 8.0, 12/6 Viibryd 7.75, K+ 10meq qd

-NOW 1115am-Viibryd 7.75mg, 3pm-K+ 5mg, 515pm-Clonaz .2mg, 6pm-K+ 5mg, 830pm-Premarin .3mg,1115pm-Clonaz .9mg, 115am Carafate .5gm.

Link to post

I need to get better at that Songbird...listening to my body....resting when need to and doing more when can.  What I am realizing is that I crash and wonder why...but if I look back it was coming and I was ignoring it.  Thanks for those thoughts!

-Nardil 1976 < year, stopped. Reactions to AD's. Klonopin .5BID ?1990, 2.5mg ? til 2016

-Klonopin doubled Jan '16. Tapered to 2.25mg May '16 to Nov '16, Heart raced after 1 Lexapro, stopped. Reacting to Prevacid to tapered off. Nov

-November '16 Tapered .25mg Klonopin in hospital. Jan 2 '17 started Viibryd, 20mg from 2/20 to 6/10 '17,     

-20mg to 10mg Viibryd from 3/25 to 6/10 2017, 12/15 10% Viibryd taper...back up next day

-Clonazepam 2mg to 1.85mg 4/14 '17 to end November; taper to 1mg Clonazepam in hospital 9/1 tp 9/14 '17

-Feb '18 Amiloride .25mg  5/18 off Amiloride d/t react. Clonaz compounded  

-4/27 '18 Viibryd 9.5mg, 6/11 9.0 mg, 1/27 '19 Viibryd 8.75mg, ; Clonazepam .2mg 530pm and .7mg 1130pm, Premarin .3mg 830PM CARAFATE QID 2/27/19 to 3/5/19

-July 6'19 1/2 10mg Claritin 230pm, stopped it about July 18, started Oct 11 '19, 

-7/27 Viibryd 8.5, 8/29 Viibryd 8.25 -10/18 Carafate 1/2 NOC-10/24 Viibryd 8.0, 12/6 Viibryd 7.75, K+ 10meq qd

-NOW 1115am-Viibryd 7.75mg, 3pm-K+ 5mg, 515pm-Clonaz .2mg, 6pm-K+ 5mg, 830pm-Premarin .3mg,1115pm-Clonaz .9mg, 115am Carafate .5gm.

Link to post

@Songbird

I need to get better at that Songbird...listening to my body....resting when need to and doing more when can.  What I am realizing is that I crash and wonder why...but if I look back it was coming and I was ignoring it.  Thanks for those thoughts!

-Nardil 1976 < year, stopped. Reactions to AD's. Klonopin .5BID ?1990, 2.5mg ? til 2016

-Klonopin doubled Jan '16. Tapered to 2.25mg May '16 to Nov '16, Heart raced after 1 Lexapro, stopped. Reacting to Prevacid to tapered off. Nov

-November '16 Tapered .25mg Klonopin in hospital. Jan 2 '17 started Viibryd, 20mg from 2/20 to 6/10 '17,     

-20mg to 10mg Viibryd from 3/25 to 6/10 2017, 12/15 10% Viibryd taper...back up next day

-Clonazepam 2mg to 1.85mg 4/14 '17 to end November; taper to 1mg Clonazepam in hospital 9/1 tp 9/14 '17

-Feb '18 Amiloride .25mg  5/18 off Amiloride d/t react. Clonaz compounded  

-4/27 '18 Viibryd 9.5mg, 6/11 9.0 mg, 1/27 '19 Viibryd 8.75mg, ; Clonazepam .2mg 530pm and .7mg 1130pm, Premarin .3mg 830PM CARAFATE QID 2/27/19 to 3/5/19

-July 6'19 1/2 10mg Claritin 230pm, stopped it about July 18, started Oct 11 '19, 

-7/27 Viibryd 8.5, 8/29 Viibryd 8.25 -10/18 Carafate 1/2 NOC-10/24 Viibryd 8.0, 12/6 Viibryd 7.75, K+ 10meq qd

-NOW 1115am-Viibryd 7.75mg, 3pm-K+ 5mg, 515pm-Clonaz .2mg, 6pm-K+ 5mg, 830pm-Premarin .3mg,1115pm-Clonaz .9mg, 115am Carafate .5gm.

Link to post
jonnypeters1234567
On 24 June 2018 at 7:57 PM, Rosetta said:

Thank you, Hazel.  @Hazel I'm sorry you feel that.  It's very sad.  Someday we will feel completely normal. 

 

Rabe, thanks for always having something kind to say.  It is so important that we have others who understand.  I could not go through this without that.  I feel so odd and uncomfortable as it is, and to know this is common for others and will pass is keeping me going.

 

Journal: 

Yesterday, I was quite anxious until about 1:00.  I took a shower at 12:30, and that relaxed me some.  We went to my mother in laws.  It was cold there because of a storm off the coast.  So, I was inside all day.  At my house it was a beautiful sunny day, but oh well.  I had dinner with my mother in law while my husband went to play music with some friends and then my daughter and drove home alone.  

 

My sleep last night was ok.  Typical wake up at about 12:30.  I had a slight spike because I had not heard my husband come home, but once I found he was there the anxiety dissipated, and I fell asleep again.  I heated my wrap only twice.  I was enjoying the breeze coming through the window and the sounds of the night so I didn't close the window or draw the blind.  I woke up with tension in my right shoulder and neck due to the light and the crows' incessant cawing.  Yet, I had no cortisol spike.  

 

Today, I feel anxious, sad, etc., etc.. Same old same old.  Trying to ignore it.  House a mess.  Afraid to try to fix it, blah, blah, blah.  I keep thinking: I'm just going to tackle a corner, throw some things away, pack things up for Goodwill, etc.. Someday, I will.  Eventually, I will be able to make a difference here.  

 

I guess I'm in the trough of depression that seems to arrive after a bad anxiety/aka wave.

Keep moving forward Rosetta, you are doing fantastic

 

 

2009-2010 Citalopram 20mg CT no problems

 

Sertaline 2010- 6monnths

 

2011- 2017 June 2017- Citalopram 20mg CT

 

Link to post

Dear rosseta, 

 

Thinking of you!

 

When I'm in depth of not able to do what I want to, I try to think of a saying from one of our members here after full recovery  (DLB is the username I think, who recovered fully round 1-2 yrs after a slow taper), "if you can allow yourself be in a mess for a while". 

 

I know it's hard for the while being so long, but one day after another, you are making it closer. 

 

Much love,lots hugs,

Lex 

Drug free Sep. 23 2017

2009 Mar.: lexapro 10mg for headache for 2 weeks.

2009-2012: on and off 1/4 to 1/3 of 10mg

2012 June--2013 Jan,: 1/4-1/3 of 10mg generic, bad jaw pain

2013 Jan-Mar: 10 mg generic. severe jaw and head pain;

2013 Mar--Aug. started tapering (liquid ever since) from 10 to 5 (one step) then gradually down to 2.25 mg by July. first ever panic attack, severe head/jaw pain

2013 Aug.: back to 2.75 mg; Nov: back to Brand Lex. 2.75mg -- 3mg,

2014 June: stopped PPI, head pressure/numbness. up-dosed 4.5mg, severe reaction mental symptoms added on

2014 Aug--2015 Aug: Micro taper down to 3.2mg, .025mg (<1%) cut holding 2-3 weeks.

2015 Aug 15th, Accidental one dose of 4.2mg. worsening brain non-functional, swollen head, body, coma like, DR

2016 Feb., started dosing 10am through 11 pm everyday 2/13--3.2mg, 3/15-- 2.9mg, 4/19-- 2.6mg, 6/26--2.2mg, 7/22 --1.9mg, 8/16--1.8mg,8/31--1.7m g, 9/13--1.6mg, 9/27--1.5mg, 10/8--1.4mg, 10/14--1.3mg, 11/1--1.2mg, 11/29--1.1mg, 12/12--1mg, 12/22--0.9mg

2017: 1/7--0.8mg, 1/15--0.7mg, 1/17--0.6mg, 1/20--0.52, 1/21--0.4mg, 1/22--0.26, 1/23--0.2, 2/13--0.13mg, 2/20--0.06mg, 3/18--0.13mg, 6/1--0.12mg, 7/6--0.1mg, 7/14--0.08mg, 8/17--0.04mg, 8/20--0.03mg, 8/28--0.02mg, 9/6--0.0205mg, 9/8--0.02mg, 9/17--0.015mg, 9/20--0.01mg, 9/21--0.0048mg, 9/22--0.0001mg,

Link to post

I have time to journal only, but I'm thinking of you all, and I appreciate your words of encouragement so very much.

 

Journal:

 

Today was ok.  It was not miserable at all.  I woke up feeling relatively normal.  I went to drop off my child, for breakfast and for a long walk on the beach.  In the afternoon I was sleepy.  I did almost nothing productive today except allow myself to be "in a mess for a while."  I had what I would call a normal level of anxiety today considering the state of my life.  That's a good thing, I think.  I felt many instances of sadness and depression which were also at a normal level for the circumstances.  

 

I feel quite a bit of fear tonight as I know these lulls in the storm mean things will get worse, but I'm going to try to have hope that "worse" won't be as bad as Friday!  (Today is Monday).

https://www.survivingantidepressants.org/topic/16629-rosetta-ct-may-2011-too-fast-taper-feb-2017/?page=25

2001-2011 Celexa 10 mg raised to 40 mg then 60 mg over this time period

May 2011 OB Doctor's Cold switch Celexa 60 mg to 10 mg Zoloft sertraline (baby born)

2012-2016 - Doctors raised dose of Zoloft up to 150 mg

2016 - Xanax prescribed - as needed - 0.5 mg about every 3 days (bad reaction)

2016 - Stopped Xanax

Late 2016- Began (too fast) taper of Zoloft

Early 2017 - Trazodone prescribed for bedtime (doseage unknown)

Feb 2017 - Completed taper/stopped Trazodone

Drug free since Feb 2017

2017 - Unisom otc very rarely for sleep

Link to post
On 6/24/2018 at 12:57 PM, Rosetta said:

I'm just going to tackle a corner, throw some things away, pack things up for Goodwill, etc.. Someday, I will.

Hi Rosetta,

I think I may have been in a spot similar to what you are talking about.  I would try to go through just a few things but would end up going down memory lane.  It was as if I threw something away, I would be throwing away an important memory or part of myself forever.  Eventually, somehow I did manage to tell myself, just give away one thing, just one thing.  At first I couldn't even do that, but I kept trying until I finally did it.  It was an old, broken Christmas ornament!  And it was hard to do it.  When my first child was little, I spent hours picking up little toy pieces and putting them in their boxes as if they were worth thousands of dollars.  I could waste money and time,

but not memories.  She was all grown up with children of her own before I could get rid of her stuffed animals.  Even the poor boxes said, "no stuffed animals please."  I believe it when you say "Someday, I will." I don't think I can do certain things until I'm ready.

 

I'm glad you took a nice walk on the beach.  Some days I consider it an accomplishment if I just make my bed and take a shower.  Some days, I just make the bed, and that has to be enough.

 

Healing thoughts and hugs,

xo RM

 

Alcohol periodic excessive 1963-1976, Valium sporadic 1964-1973,  Imipramine off & on 1982-1985, Fluoxetine 10mg-80 mg. Oct., 1995-Jan., 2014; Cymbalta, other ADs 1/2014-3/2014; Abilify 5 mg. 3/2014 - 8/8/17; Trintellix 20 mg. 3/2014 - 9/2017; Propranolol 60-80 mg. sporadically Sept-Oct, 2017; Seroquel few days Sept 2017 (c/t); Wellbutrin 150 mg. Sept, 2017 updosed to 300 mg. few days till c/t Oct 8, 2017, fish oil, vitD, vitE Oct 16, 2017-pres. Lipoflavonoid 4/2017-pres.  Fluoxetine 10 mg. Sept-Oct 8, 2017, 20 mg. 10/9- 10/15; 10 mg. 10/16 - 12/29;  9 mg. 12/30 - 2/9; 2 mL liquid (8.1mg) 2/10 - 3/7; 1.8 mL (7.29 mg) 3/8 -3/20; 1.6 mL (6.561mg) 3/20-4/2; 1.4 mL (5.9 mg) 4/3-4/14; 1mL (4 mg.) 4/15-4/22; .9mL (3.6mg) 4/23-5/1; .81mL (3.24 mg) 5/2-5/24; .73mL (2.916mg.) 5/25-6/8; .65mL 6/9-6/23; .6mL 6/24-7/17; .58mL 7/18-7/28; .525mL 7/29-8/13; .5 mL 8/14-21; .45mL 8/22-31; .4mL 9/2-21; .35mL 9/22-10/4; .3mL 10/5-28; .25mL 10/28-11/10; .2mL 11/11-11/24; .18mL 11/25-12/3; .1mL 12/4-12/18. Zero-12/19/18-present.

Link to post
jonnypeters1234567

Don't put too much pressure on yourself Rosetta. Patience is key

 

Can anyone relate to feeling in limbo, like half in reallity and half not?

 

 

2009-2010 Citalopram 20mg CT no problems

 

Sertaline 2010- 6monnths

 

2011- 2017 June 2017- Citalopram 20mg CT

 

Link to post

Thank you @RealMe Thank you @jonnypeters1234567

 

Journal:

 

I was ok again today.  So that's three days of the symptoms being somewhat bearable.  I can feel my jaw tightening.  That makes me scared that the aka will come back.  Other than that today has been ok.  I'm uncomfortable, frequently anxious, nervous, sad.  

 

Sleep last night was all right until 5:30 am.  I dozed only after that and not much.  Another thing that makes me nervous about having another bad experience.  I'm trying to keep the magnesium doses consistent even though they cause me problems in the bathroom.  It's a trade off perhaps.  I'm wondering if each time that side effect annoys me and I miss a dose of magnesium I'm risky a bad stint with aka?

 

For those of you who watch Netflix, I have been enjoying the 3rd season of the Great British Baking Show.  (It's called the Great British Bake Off in the U.K.). It's a really a nice show.  There is no ugliness as there is in many reality shows.  No drama, no personal problems, no cruel judges.  They just bake, and judges are respectful and kind.  The male judge is clearly an arrogant jerk, but he keeps that flaw out of the mix for the most part.  Seasons 1-6 have the original cast, and I think I'll watch as many as I can.  One through four are on Netflix right now.  

https://www.survivingantidepressants.org/topic/16629-rosetta-ct-may-2011-too-fast-taper-feb-2017/?page=25

2001-2011 Celexa 10 mg raised to 40 mg then 60 mg over this time period

May 2011 OB Doctor's Cold switch Celexa 60 mg to 10 mg Zoloft sertraline (baby born)

2012-2016 - Doctors raised dose of Zoloft up to 150 mg

2016 - Xanax prescribed - as needed - 0.5 mg about every 3 days (bad reaction)

2016 - Stopped Xanax

Late 2016- Began (too fast) taper of Zoloft

Early 2017 - Trazodone prescribed for bedtime (doseage unknown)

Feb 2017 - Completed taper/stopped Trazodone

Drug free since Feb 2017

2017 - Unisom otc very rarely for sleep

Link to post
  • Moderator Emeritus

I've seen the Great British Bake Off a few times.  I love nice TV shows.

2001–2002 paroxetine

2003  citalopram

2004-2008  paroxetine (various failed tapers) 
2008  paroxetine slow taper down to

2016  Aug off paroxetine
2016  citalopram May 20mg  Oct 15mg … slow taper down
2018  citalopram 13 Feb 4.6mg 15 Mar 4.4mg 29 Apr 4.2mg 6 Jul 4.1mg 17 Aug 4.0mg  18 Nov 3.8mg
2019  15 Mar 3.6mg  21 May 3.4mg  26 Dec 3.2mg 

2020  19 Feb 3.0mg 19 July 2.9mg  16 Sep 2.8mg  25 Oct 2.7mg

Link to post

3 days in a row!!!  You're on a roll...it's a trend...its wonderful to hear!!  💜

-Nardil 1976 < year, stopped. Reactions to AD's. Klonopin .5BID ?1990, 2.5mg ? til 2016

-Klonopin doubled Jan '16. Tapered to 2.25mg May '16 to Nov '16, Heart raced after 1 Lexapro, stopped. Reacting to Prevacid to tapered off. Nov

-November '16 Tapered .25mg Klonopin in hospital. Jan 2 '17 started Viibryd, 20mg from 2/20 to 6/10 '17,     

-20mg to 10mg Viibryd from 3/25 to 6/10 2017, 12/15 10% Viibryd taper...back up next day

-Clonazepam 2mg to 1.85mg 4/14 '17 to end November; taper to 1mg Clonazepam in hospital 9/1 tp 9/14 '17

-Feb '18 Amiloride .25mg  5/18 off Amiloride d/t react. Clonaz compounded  

-4/27 '18 Viibryd 9.5mg, 6/11 9.0 mg, 1/27 '19 Viibryd 8.75mg, ; Clonazepam .2mg 530pm and .7mg 1130pm, Premarin .3mg 830PM CARAFATE QID 2/27/19 to 3/5/19

-July 6'19 1/2 10mg Claritin 230pm, stopped it about July 18, started Oct 11 '19, 

-7/27 Viibryd 8.5, 8/29 Viibryd 8.25 -10/18 Carafate 1/2 NOC-10/24 Viibryd 8.0, 12/6 Viibryd 7.75, K+ 10meq qd

-NOW 1115am-Viibryd 7.75mg, 3pm-K+ 5mg, 515pm-Clonaz .2mg, 6pm-K+ 5mg, 830pm-Premarin .3mg,1115pm-Clonaz .9mg, 115am Carafate .5gm.

Link to post

Very happy for the well deserved break, even it's partial! 

 

Sign of true healing is so encouraging. It promotes more positivity for even more speedy healing! 

 

Being able to enjoy the show is a great distraction from worries about wd and waves. Hope the rest seasons catch up before you are done watching the 4th season. 

 

I will check it out too see it can occupy my very obsessive mind on the back damage.

 

Wishing you a even better day, rosseta! You are an inspiration!

 

Love and hugs!

Lex

 

Drug free Sep. 23 2017

2009 Mar.: lexapro 10mg for headache for 2 weeks.

2009-2012: on and off 1/4 to 1/3 of 10mg

2012 June--2013 Jan,: 1/4-1/3 of 10mg generic, bad jaw pain

2013 Jan-Mar: 10 mg generic. severe jaw and head pain;

2013 Mar--Aug. started tapering (liquid ever since) from 10 to 5 (one step) then gradually down to 2.25 mg by July. first ever panic attack, severe head/jaw pain

2013 Aug.: back to 2.75 mg; Nov: back to Brand Lex. 2.75mg -- 3mg,

2014 June: stopped PPI, head pressure/numbness. up-dosed 4.5mg, severe reaction mental symptoms added on

2014 Aug--2015 Aug: Micro taper down to 3.2mg, .025mg (<1%) cut holding 2-3 weeks.

2015 Aug 15th, Accidental one dose of 4.2mg. worsening brain non-functional, swollen head, body, coma like, DR

2016 Feb., started dosing 10am through 11 pm everyday 2/13--3.2mg, 3/15-- 2.9mg, 4/19-- 2.6mg, 6/26--2.2mg, 7/22 --1.9mg, 8/16--1.8mg,8/31--1.7m g, 9/13--1.6mg, 9/27--1.5mg, 10/8--1.4mg, 10/14--1.3mg, 11/1--1.2mg, 11/29--1.1mg, 12/12--1mg, 12/22--0.9mg

2017: 1/7--0.8mg, 1/15--0.7mg, 1/17--0.6mg, 1/20--0.52, 1/21--0.4mg, 1/22--0.26, 1/23--0.2, 2/13--0.13mg, 2/20--0.06mg, 3/18--0.13mg, 6/1--0.12mg, 7/6--0.1mg, 7/14--0.08mg, 8/17--0.04mg, 8/20--0.03mg, 8/28--0.02mg, 9/6--0.0205mg, 9/8--0.02mg, 9/17--0.015mg, 9/20--0.01mg, 9/21--0.0048mg, 9/22--0.0001mg,

Link to post

@Rabe @LexAnger Thank you for stopping by.  The downside to the show is that it makes one crave sweets something terrible!

 

Today was a window.  I'm very conflicted about that.  I used to be happy about Windows and they gave me hope, but now I'm afraid of having them as I'm afraid of the inevitable wave being a bad one.

 

I went for a walk by a stream that I didn't know existed.  It was very nice.  So few canyons are left around here, but this one has a shocking amount of water flowing in it.  Much more than in the creek near my house.  A lot of the trail was shaded, too.  Really amazing.

 

I had a hot dog with my dinner in the hope that I can avoid any problems from low blood sugar tonight.

 

Sleep last night was fine.  I didn't need to heat my shoulder wrap in order to go back to sleep, and I had no cortisol spikes.

 

Now to take magnesium and go to bed.  I will have to try to control fear of fear as I'm unable to stop thinking of a window as a harbinger of bad waves.

 

(I must find a way to stop reading the news.  It's terrible for me, and there's no hope that it will get better.  I need AA for news addicts, and that's no joke.  Justice Kennedy announced his retirement today after concurring in a series of decisions that will drive the U.S. deeper into a state that is not good for those who need medical doctors with independence and heart.)

https://www.survivingantidepressants.org/topic/16629-rosetta-ct-may-2011-too-fast-taper-feb-2017/?page=25

2001-2011 Celexa 10 mg raised to 40 mg then 60 mg over this time period

May 2011 OB Doctor's Cold switch Celexa 60 mg to 10 mg Zoloft sertraline (baby born)

2012-2016 - Doctors raised dose of Zoloft up to 150 mg

2016 - Xanax prescribed - as needed - 0.5 mg about every 3 days (bad reaction)

2016 - Stopped Xanax

Late 2016- Began (too fast) taper of Zoloft

Early 2017 - Trazodone prescribed for bedtime (doseage unknown)

Feb 2017 - Completed taper/stopped Trazodone

Drug free since Feb 2017

2017 - Unisom otc very rarely for sleep

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I’m glad you had a window Rosetta, 

 

I hope it doesn’t close too soon, but when it does remember there’s always another one around the corner. 

 

Im so glad you came across a stream, there’s nothing better in nature than the sound of water. On Monday I went to a parkland and a Botanic garden. The sounds of waterfalls is so beautiful and there was a lake and a river as well. My favourite place is anywhere near water. I would be in my element if I lived near the beach, I’d be down there all the time. 

 

Yep, fear of fear is a horrible feeling, I’ve certainly been there. I’ve learnt to just stay in the minute I’m in otherwise it can get extremely overwhelming. I hope you settle and have a good night’s sleep. 

 

I don’t watch the news, I don’t actually watch tv, only DVDs and Netflix. I don’t think watching the news is good for us when we’re sick. I don’t know why but I find tv really annoying, I don’t know if it’s the commercial or what?? I prefer being in control of what I watch. 

 

On social media I just follow pages that tell me what concerts and fun things are happening near where I live, so even then I hardly get any news coming through. I love photography so I follow some photography pages, they give me ideas. I love Pinterest, also lots of fun ideas for crafts, get togethers etc. I try to keep everything positive that I watch. This withdrawal journey is hard enough, I can do without all the negativity around me. 

 

Take care💚💚💚

Been on antipsychotics, benzos, antidepressants and painkillers for chronic pain. 

Have been cold turkeyed and put on and off all sorts of things.  Was suicidal n ended up in a psych ward because I had akathisia from withdrawals. I can’t remember what I was put on but when I was released was in the same predicament with severe akathisia n was suicidal again.

Back to the psych ward and I was given a number of different drugs while there. Tapered off one when I got home n have been trying to taper off Seroquel since. It’s been years, tapering slowly but still having severe withdrawals.

I’ve  tapered from 300mg of Seroquel to 7.5mg./ March 10th 2019=7.25mg / 17th of April 2019= 7mg / June 5th=6.75mg/ July 14th=6.50mg/ 28th of August=6.25mg/ 10th of Oct= 6.20mg/ 21st October 6mg/ 16th of December 5.80mg/21st of January 5.60mg/

 

I AM NOT A MEDICAL PROFESSIONAL. These are my own views based on what I’ve experienced myself.

 

 

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That was so beautiful the walk you took along the stream! 

 

It's your turning point and very likely a milestone, rossata! Believe it continues and will be followed by many more until.the final wide open land, free of pain and full of peace and happiness! 

 

Mind has a magical way to connect with the body. I am in the biggest time lately with negative thoughts.  Changing channels with minndfulness helped quite a bit.

 

More Healing is on your way!!!!!!!

Hold on to the good Windows!

 

Love

Lex

 

 

 

Drug free Sep. 23 2017

2009 Mar.: lexapro 10mg for headache for 2 weeks.

2009-2012: on and off 1/4 to 1/3 of 10mg

2012 June--2013 Jan,: 1/4-1/3 of 10mg generic, bad jaw pain

2013 Jan-Mar: 10 mg generic. severe jaw and head pain;

2013 Mar--Aug. started tapering (liquid ever since) from 10 to 5 (one step) then gradually down to 2.25 mg by July. first ever panic attack, severe head/jaw pain

2013 Aug.: back to 2.75 mg; Nov: back to Brand Lex. 2.75mg -- 3mg,

2014 June: stopped PPI, head pressure/numbness. up-dosed 4.5mg, severe reaction mental symptoms added on

2014 Aug--2015 Aug: Micro taper down to 3.2mg, .025mg (<1%) cut holding 2-3 weeks.

2015 Aug 15th, Accidental one dose of 4.2mg. worsening brain non-functional, swollen head, body, coma like, DR

2016 Feb., started dosing 10am through 11 pm everyday 2/13--3.2mg, 3/15-- 2.9mg, 4/19-- 2.6mg, 6/26--2.2mg, 7/22 --1.9mg, 8/16--1.8mg,8/31--1.7m g, 9/13--1.6mg, 9/27--1.5mg, 10/8--1.4mg, 10/14--1.3mg, 11/1--1.2mg, 11/29--1.1mg, 12/12--1mg, 12/22--0.9mg

2017: 1/7--0.8mg, 1/15--0.7mg, 1/17--0.6mg, 1/20--0.52, 1/21--0.4mg, 1/22--0.26, 1/23--0.2, 2/13--0.13mg, 2/20--0.06mg, 3/18--0.13mg, 6/1--0.12mg, 7/6--0.1mg, 7/14--0.08mg, 8/17--0.04mg, 8/20--0.03mg, 8/28--0.02mg, 9/6--0.0205mg, 9/8--0.02mg, 9/17--0.015mg, 9/20--0.01mg, 9/21--0.0048mg, 9/22--0.0001mg,

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Hi Rosetta - I wanted to stop by to let you know I am thinking about you.  Lots of hugs - WR.

-1/06 - 3/07 Cymbalta. Fast taper; withdrawal symptoms after 4 mos (didn't realize was WD)

-10/07: 100 mg Zoloft; 1 mg Klonopin - tapered off Klonopin
-Tried several times to slowly taper Zoloft by 10%, then 5% every 4-6 weeks; could never get below approx. 40 mg - spring 2012 experienced major WD symptoms due to stress; tried to updose but no relief, back on Klonopin 1 mg.
-Switched over 5-6 mos from Zoloft to Citalopram. Finished Zoloft 1/13; Citalopram 35 mg and 1 mg Klonopin.
-8/13: 27 mg Citalopram; 1 mg Klonopin

-11/14: 12.6 Citalopram - began to have bad withdrawal symptoms; out of desperation increased to 1.25 mg Klonopin at the beginning of December.  12/13/14 16 mg Citalopram - going to stay here to try to stabilize; stabilized on 16 mg Citalopram after 4-5 months

-7/15 - 3/16: reduced to 15 mg; ~ 2 months later w/d hit hard (probably r/t stress); 6/16 updosed to 20 mg Citalopram and trying to stabilize. Updosed to 1.5 Klonopin as well. Stabilized on 20 mg Citalopram after 4-5 months

8/17-9/17: feeling withdrawal symptoms at 20 mg Citalopram (due to stress) - slowly increased to 25 mg. No change in symptoms after 6 months (? tolerance ?)  - decided to start citalopram taper February 2018 (still on Klonopin 1.5 mg).

Supplements: fish oil; vitamin D3; curcumin

Citalopram taper:  2/2018 - 12/2019: 25 mg - 11.03 mg

2020: 1/14/20: 10.89 mg (1.27% drop); 1/22/20: 10.75 mg (1.29% drop); 2/28/20 toe surgery; 4/26/20: 10.62 mg (1.21% drop); 5/3/20: 10.5 mg (1.22% drop); 5/10/20: 10.4 mg (1.24% drop); 5/17/20: 10.2 mg (1.25% drop); 6/7/20: 10.10 mg (1.27% drop); 6/14/20: 9.98 mg (1.19% drop); 6/21/20: 9.85 mg (1.30% drop); 6/28/20: 9.7 mg (1.22% drop); 7/12/20: 9.6 mg (1.23% drop); 7/19/20: 9.5 mg (1.25% drop); 7/26/20: 9.4 mg (1.26% drop); 8/2/20: 9.3 mg (1.28% drop); 8/17/20: 9.14 mg (1.19% drop); 8/31/20: 9.0 mg (1.31% drop); 9/6/20: 8.9 mg (1.22% drop); 9/27/20: 8.8 mg (1.23% drop); 10/4/20: 8.7 mg (1.25% drop); 10/11/20: 8.6 mg (1.27% drop); 10/18/20: 8.5 mg (1.28% drop); 11/8/20: 8.4 mg (1.18% drop); 11/15/20: 8.3 mg (1.19% drop); 11/22/20: 8.2 mg (1.21% drop)

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Thanks @Carmie @wantrelief And @LexAnger. Oh, I hope you are right, LexAnger.  I am so ready for a turning point!!  As I am sure you are, too, only moreso.

 

Today, I went back to the stream and hiked for 5 miles.  It was all flat. That's the longest walk I've taken since I quit Citalopram.  I got a lot of sun today.  I think I ate well. Plenty of protein.  

 

I'm still afraid to go to sleep.  I had a cortisol spike about 1:30 am and another at 4:00 am.  This morning, I had another mild one, and I was very anxious, but I went on with my day. I used EFT this morning to calm myself, and it worked!

 

Time for bed.

https://www.survivingantidepressants.org/topic/16629-rosetta-ct-may-2011-too-fast-taper-feb-2017/?page=25

2001-2011 Celexa 10 mg raised to 40 mg then 60 mg over this time period

May 2011 OB Doctor's Cold switch Celexa 60 mg to 10 mg Zoloft sertraline (baby born)

2012-2016 - Doctors raised dose of Zoloft up to 150 mg

2016 - Xanax prescribed - as needed - 0.5 mg about every 3 days (bad reaction)

2016 - Stopped Xanax

Late 2016- Began (too fast) taper of Zoloft

Early 2017 - Trazodone prescribed for bedtime (doseage unknown)

Feb 2017 - Completed taper/stopped Trazodone

Drug free since Feb 2017

2017 - Unisom otc very rarely for sleep

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SO glad to hear your still racking up the days in the window! 💜

-Nardil 1976 < year, stopped. Reactions to AD's. Klonopin .5BID ?1990, 2.5mg ? til 2016

-Klonopin doubled Jan '16. Tapered to 2.25mg May '16 to Nov '16, Heart raced after 1 Lexapro, stopped. Reacting to Prevacid to tapered off. Nov

-November '16 Tapered .25mg Klonopin in hospital. Jan 2 '17 started Viibryd, 20mg from 2/20 to 6/10 '17,     

-20mg to 10mg Viibryd from 3/25 to 6/10 2017, 12/15 10% Viibryd taper...back up next day

-Clonazepam 2mg to 1.85mg 4/14 '17 to end November; taper to 1mg Clonazepam in hospital 9/1 tp 9/14 '17

-Feb '18 Amiloride .25mg  5/18 off Amiloride d/t react. Clonaz compounded  

-4/27 '18 Viibryd 9.5mg, 6/11 9.0 mg, 1/27 '19 Viibryd 8.75mg, ; Clonazepam .2mg 530pm and .7mg 1130pm, Premarin .3mg 830PM CARAFATE QID 2/27/19 to 3/5/19

-July 6'19 1/2 10mg Claritin 230pm, stopped it about July 18, started Oct 11 '19, 

-7/27 Viibryd 8.5, 8/29 Viibryd 8.25 -10/18 Carafate 1/2 NOC-10/24 Viibryd 8.0, 12/6 Viibryd 7.75, K+ 10meq qd

-NOW 1115am-Viibryd 7.75mg, 3pm-K+ 5mg, 515pm-Clonaz .2mg, 6pm-K+ 5mg, 830pm-Premarin .3mg,1115pm-Clonaz .9mg, 115am Carafate .5gm.

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  • ChessieCat changed the title to Rosetta: cold switch May 2011 & too fast taper Feb 2017

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