Rosetta: cold switch May 2011 & too fast taper Feb 2017

[Rosetta]

Yesterday was quite miserable and today was just fine.  I had a lot more anxiety yesterday than I expected. I had to distract nearly all day, and I took an Epsom salts bath.  I was trying to "float," I suppose.  I felt overstimulated and very stressed.  The night wasn't very nice either, and I woke up this morning feeling depressed.

 

Then, about an hour after I got up it all lifted!!!  I didn't eat or drink anything, but I started to feel better.  I had plans to go to a water park with a friend and her kids.  So, I had a good breakfast, and I got ready to go without much of a problem.  We were out the door by 10:45.  It felt like a miracle.  

 

We spent 6 1/2 hours at the park.  I was tired by about 3:30, but I felt OK emotionally.  This time last year all I could do was sit on the couch and worry.  I cried nearly every day.  My anxiety was sky high and I was only beginning my descent into Hell.  The difference in how I feel and what I can do now is absolutely astounding.  

[Rosetta]

@Elyssa143. Yes, I had all of that -- SI everyday, several times per day, . Instead of severe depression I had severe anxiety.  You are 3.5 months off Sertraline?  You will get your life back, Elyssa.  You have to hold on in order to do that.  Hold on for dear life and wait for your system to heal itself.  This is all temporary.  Find the techniques you need to hold on at this website and use as much support as you need here and in real life.  Do not give up. Your body will find its balance again in time.  You will see if you read through my thread that I struggled a long time and I still have bad days, but I'm seeing a lot of payoff now.  Do not give up -- that's the best advice I can give you.  This is temporary.

[Rosetta]

Thank you, mirage!!  I appreciate your not so very much. @mirage

@FarmGirlWorks Its crazy that it's taken me this long to figure that out, but anxiety paralyzed the brain.  It's a terrible catch-22, but it's really a minor problem compared to the overall WD nightmare. I don't need the stress of having people over anyway.  There will be time for that in 6 months or a year.  Now that I can get it together to go out more, that's giving me all the contact with people I can handle atm.

@neroli Thank you for stopping by. I know that took effort.  You are very kind.  

@RusTW Thanks.  I'm glad you are finding this site useful.  I feel it saved my life.  I could not have found the hope I needed to go on without it.  The inability to nap is one of those symptoms that is so clearly a sign that something has gone terribly wrong with the nervous system.  Normal anxiety and depression cannot cause that, and they don't cause cortisol spikes either. It's iatrogenic damage, and it's only through deliberate ignorance that doctors don't see that avenue of investigation when a patient presents with WD symptoms.

[neroli]

2 hours ago, Rosetta said:

The inability to nap is one of those symptoms that is so clearly a sign that something has gone terribly wrong with the nervous system

I so hate this part of the process (well, I find most of the symptoms a trial, to be honest) - can't sleep past 4.00am-ish, get up early, feeling tired, but can't nap during the day.  And if I do happen to fall asleep (like when I'm coming home on the train) I have disturbing half-dreams and then wake up with a horrifying jolt, feeling giddy and drained.  Ugh..

[Elyssa143]

@Rosetta im glad to see your doing better. How long were you on meds? Its been hell since march for me. I ended up tapering too quickly reinstating and ended up in the pysch ward twice.  And on zyprexa for 10days which i tapered over 5 weeks. Its been a nightmare. The depression is absolute hell, Ive never experienced something so dark. I do have times where it isnt so horrific so Im greatful for that and have had some improvements. I know its going to be a rough road im just praying I have the strength to get through. Its very scary. I went through benzo withdrawls 9 years ago, I had no idea the antidepressants could do the same thing. I eat extremely well and changed all of my body products to help lighten the toxic load. Im praying things continue to slowly get better, is that what they did for you? 

[Elyssa143]

@Rosetta did your withdrawl come on right away? I know for some people it doesnt. What about the akasthsia? What was that like? I had it when they upped my meds and added others but its been sooooo much better since Ive been off. 

[mirage]

@neroli and @Rosetta I read your post about the nap and sleep problems. I too have that weirdness. ! When I wake in the morning, it is always during odd dreams. They aren't usually scary but just so strange and I jolt awake while having them.

 

During the day, i have this fatigue. I yawn all day and I am clearly tired. However if I were to try and nap, my eyes are closed, yet, I hear everything going on around me. But when I wake up and  I open my eyes, an hour would have gone by. I never feel like I actually fell asleep. It is more of a conscious state of rest. I never had that problem before this journey. It is as if my body has forgotten what it feels like to be tired. So it gets fatigued and I go through the norm of yawning but my system cant ease up enough to actually sleep. 

 

Over the past week, my sleep pattern has been changing. I use to be able to fall asleep pretty quickly in the night but would awaken at 4am. Now, I can't seem to fall asleep. I have tried melatonin but the only thing working is to take a half of a Benadryl and that will usually do it. I do try to fall asleep on my own, but this week I toss and turn until around midnight then end up taking the Benadryl. I am now able to sleep past the 4am abrupt call. I also try and doze once I wake up. I try and stay in bed until between 6:30 and 7:30am. However, the dozing in the morning is very much like the napping, conscious state of sleep and weird dreams with jolting awake. Until...this morning. I had a break through. Woke up around 5am but then fell back asleep and actually went into a deep sleep. Didn't wake up until 7:30. Now i'm not sure that will be the new norm but clearly there are changes happening with my sleep. I am praying this is my system trying to normalize my sleep pattern. Rosetta, what are your thoughts? Has this happened to you and how is it now?

 

 

[Rosetta]

I'm feel really rough today.  The neck and shoulder tension is actual pain this time.  My arms and legs are starting to feel the Akathisia feeling.  I'm sorry I can't answer any of your questions.  Reading is making it all worse.  I feel very overwhelmed.

[mirage]

@RosettaSounds like a wave is hitting you. It will pass. Stay strong. 

 

Sending healing thoughts your way and prayers that this is short. 

 

Big hugs!

[wantrelief]

I am so sorry to hear you aren't doing well today.  I am thinking about you, Rosetta.  

[Rosetta]

Thanks Wantrelief and mirage.  It helps to know you care.  I am so tired of this.

[RusTW]

Rosetta= thanks for responding to my questions and giving some good advice about tapering. I hope you feel better .sorry you're going through a wave again.

[RusTW]

Hi Rosetta I'm in the trenches with you also today. Here's a little pick-me-up success story you might want to check out. it's pretty inspirational. I was thinking about you it might make you feel a little bit better I can't paste it because I'm using my cell phone so just goto.Aeroman /haven't logged in inwhile.on SA

[Rosetta]

Thank you, Rus.  That's so kind.  I just have to wait out this anxiety.

[Elyssa143]

@Rosetta I hope things start to ease up a bit for you. 💓

[Rosetta]

Disorder and Confusion breeds Anxiety and being asked to do anything increases the anxiety

 

This anxiety makes me want to DO something, but I can't think straight enough to fix what I identify as causing my anxiety.  My mind is focusing on the chaos around me as the reason for my anxiety, but I cannot organize anything.  

 

I have to ignore the chaos and do something I can do.  Take a walk or do something mindless.  Anything that isn't familiar, mundane or passive kicks the anxiety up higher.  

 

When I'm anxious, my daughter is anxious.  She starts demanding my attention and speaking nonsense words that cause me more and more confusion and stress.  I know they are nonsense words and I could ignore them, but they really upset me.  I need order and calmness right now.  Anything out of order, even fun, silly nonsense words make my brain feel scrambled.  

 

It's the same with piles of disordered stuff.  It's extremely distressing. I can't look at them, I can't pick things out of them, I can't look for something I need.  The anxiety if I do just builds and builds.  When I'm in this state, disorder is unbelievably difficult for me to face.  Is this what it feels like to be schizophrenic?  Severely distressed by disorder in the world?  Am I missing the neurotransmitter balance that is missing for people who are schizophrenic?  Is this why they get so upset?  Or this what it's like for autistic people?  It's very, very stressful.

 

I tried to play a game with my daughter, but she's very animated today, knocking everything over, standing on her head, and jumping around, and our game pieces were flying off the board and under the couch.  That made me more anxious than before.  I had to stop.  She had a hard time focusing on the game which is normal for a 7 year old.  She kept distracting me, and my anxiety kept rising higher and higher.  

 

This is a new understanding of my anxiety.  I didn't realize the connections existed before.  I just felt horribly anxiety, but I could t understand how or why.

 

If the pressure gets too much, I feel angry.  My husband's cousin asked to be hosted at my MILs for his 60th birthday which is tomorrow.  Yesterday, he called and asked my daughter to bake a cake for him.  That's one day's notice!  I'm really angry that he asked.  

 

Normally, I would feel happy about something like this, but I would notice that it was rude for him to call one day before and ask for this.  Instead, I'm downright furious.  I just want the world to STOP.  I want peace.  I want calmness.  I don't want to help my daughter make a cake.  I can't do that without getting overwhelmed and making her feel that she's done something wrong.  I have to be very careful to avoid stressful activities with her when I'm in this state.  

 

So, my husband says I don't have to; he'll do it.  Why doesn't that satisfy me?  I feel guilty that I'm not doing this with her?  Maybe I just feel upset and worried that something I would normally really enjoy -- baking -- with my daughter no less -- is something I can't do because I have irrational anxiety caused by a physical illness with no basis in any real life anxiety producing circumstances.  It's all so disordered!!!  

 

I'm furious that my husband said yes on one day's notice.  It's an imposition that I feel he should have refused in order to protect me.  We never know when I will have a wave.  I don't expect our lives to be on hold, but he knew I was upset about having to go and socialize tomorrow in the first place.  I don't want this additional obligation even if I don't have to participate.  He had to know this would upset me.  It's adding to the chaos in my house.  This whole situation makes me feel bad about myself.  I feel that in order to avoid being overstimulated that I have to hide away in a bedroom while they are baking.  That is ramping up my anxiety, because I hate the way that would look to my daughter.  She's old enough to understand I'm not normal.  What does that do to her and her sense of herself?  How is she going to see herself if her mother is overwhelmed by the fact she and her father are baking a cake?  I'm in tears over this.  

[RusTW]

 I'm sorry you have to go through that Rosetta. You know your limits so just don't overdo it I think it's hard because we get frustrated that we can't do more. I think it's hard when we don't feel the connectedness to ourselves that it's hard to feel that with other people sometimes and relate and understand and carry on as normal. We will get past this.

[RusTW]

 slow and steady as Mirage told me this.

[Rosetta]

Akathisia is driving this.  I think that must be the cause.  I woke up with such intense muscle tension this morning.  My arms have been hurting all morning; the muscles on the insides of my forearms from my wrists to my elbows have been contracted and those on the outside hurt have been hurting even more.  My joints in my elbows and wrists hurt.  

 

My daughter went off to play, and I was trying to describe to my husband why the making of a cake in my house today would make this wave worse.  He was very frustrated.  He's very tired of caring for me and then having to guess at what is going to cause me distress.  It took him by surprise that the making of this cake would cause me so much anxiety. Then, at his reaction, I started crying.  I have not been able to make him understand this problem in an entire year of having Akathisia. I kept trying to say the word "overstimulation," but he couldn't understand it because I was so contorted in my neck and face.  Finally, he understood and said that he would let me be alone if he was overstimulating me by just sitting there.  That's not what I meant, of course.  I meant the cake making would be over stimulating!  So, I felt abandoned and misunderstood.  I was so distressed that my arms curled up and my fingers curled up like those of celebral palsy patients.  

 

I started feeling SI which always happens when I try to discuss anything with my husband while I have this severe anxiety with Akathisia.  Of course, my daughter walked in in the middle of this, and now I feel horribly guilty that she saw me crying so hard.  She was desperate to make the conversation stop.  

 

After I calmed down, I said I needed quiet and peace and for everything to just stop.  I said it was important that nothing out of the ordinary go on in the house today.  He said that's ok, and he won't make the cake.  My daughter said she didn't want to make it anyway, and I expected that, too.  This particular cake she doesn't like to eat, and at her age that means she would lose interest in the process very quickly.  So, I was going to have to entertain her.  I had hoped we could have a quiet day and that her father would take her out or play with her somehow.  So, that's what they are doing now.  She likes to play mine craft with him.  He does all the mining and makes her armor so that they can go wherever they want to go inside the game.

 

I'm completely worn out and my arms and neck and joints hurt more than they did before.  My chest and my legs ache with electricity running through them.  Maybe I should try taking Benadryl on days like this?  I just want to avoid having my daughter see me in so much distress.  I want to avoid these unpleasant conversations with my husband.  

 

I can't figure out how to protect my daughter from this.  What is this doing to her?  I think I had fooled myself into thinking that this kind of intense anxiety with Akathisia was in the past because I have been feeling so much better lately, but I guess not.  

 

 

[RusTW]

Rosetta that's what's so hard about this condition is that we have to explain it to our friends and family members and I don't think they get it because it's a lot deeper than we can explain. Then there's frustration because they don't get it This is something you have to go through to understand fully. I can say I can empathize but I definitely would have to go through it to fully understand it. My mom was on Klonopin Valium and Prozac and she cold turkey and everything and never had withdrawals so she doesn't believe in them. She was telling me that withdrawal can't hit you three weeks later. Wrong. The other day she seen that I was having a hard time and she told me just to change the way I was thinking and 2 snap out of it and I almost blew my top I had to leave. And then it made my symptoms worse after when I was by myself. I know she was trying to make me feel better and then after my reaction I felt guilty about how I acted leaving like that. So things get more complex because there's guilt involved she wants to be the mother and help me out the best she can but she doesn't understand it and that makes me feel bad because I don't want her to feel bad for me. She's very ill now so I don't know how much time she has. That's what makes me so sad about this is that my experience with her. I have to try to make it the best regardless. I'm going to go visit her tomorrow and help her out with some yard work and housework she's a good mom and I love her. And I feel bad because I want to be the Son  that I used to be but now I'm all messed up.

[Rosetta]

Journal:

 

I slept better last night.  The muscle tension and pain didn't bother me in the night.  I hope that means this wave is almost over.

 

I had a cortisol spike this morning.  I woke up about 6:30 unable to sleep again.  I'm having sad and angry thoughts.  I'm thinking about being a kid and all the chaos after I went to live with my mother at the age of 8.  I don't think I ever felt safe again.  I feel right now that I'm that girl again.  I'm confused, and I don't understand what's happening to me.  Everything is scary and dangerous.  I'm afraid.  I'm safe right now, but I keep thinking that if I didn't have my husband I would not be safe, and I couldn't care for daughter.  I had hoped that fear was behind me.  I had been feeling so much better.  It doesn't seem that my period is still occurring.  I think that's over, but there is a residual imbalance going on with the neurotransmitters, I suppose.

 

I am yo-yoing again.  I think I'm anxious about the new school year which starts in 2 1/2 weeks.  We start a week and a half earlier than the other schools.  It's still Summer here until mid-September.  I'm very anxious about my daughter's new camp that starts on Monday.  I really need things to stay the same right now.  I need certainty, not change, not new people, new dangers.  Of course, we had to sign a form saying the camp activities are dangerous, and that we will not sue if she gets hurt.  It makes me want to cancel the camp.  We have to get up early to drive 45 minutes over there, and then she goes on a short bus ride.  That upsets me. There are no seat belts.  I really hate school buses.

 

Being in WD with a child to worry about is really a challenge.  I am so angry that I ever took ADs.  They should not be given to people who want children.  My doctor told me it was better to have a "healthy" mother on ADs than otherwise.  I wish he had told me to never touch ADs.  That they were dangerous.  I wasn't even pregnant yet when he said that.  So, from the very beginning he intended to prescribe ADs long term -- longer than the studies were and therefore longer than they were "safe."  It's all so sad and depressing.

 

My brain feels scrambled, and I want to fix it.  So, I keep thinking about how to make my environment more orderly.  I don't really think that will help in moments like this, but maybe it would when I'm less anxious.  Moderators, is this a part of WD?. Am I right that the anxiety is causing a lack of order in my brain, and that lack of order is causing secondary anxiety?  Has anyone else ever described it that way?  I feel so scared.

[Rabe]

Hi Rosetta,

So happy to hear you slept better.  And I think it is such a sign of healing that you can so clearly identify your thoughts and emotions and connect the two!

 

I personally found that in the best of times change, chaos, disorder, feeling out of control, having to commit caused anxiety...but now it is so so much more so....and I think it is related to my system being so sensitive and also my history of trauma.  I never felt safe and when I left my safe place I never have felt safe again.  

 

I think seeing the connection is huge!  Take care!!!

[neroli]

Hello Rosetta

 

So sorry to hear you are in a big struggle at the moment.  Sending best thoughts that this is a wave that will pass soon for you.

 

Neroli 💜

[Rosetta]

Thanks, Rabe and Neroli.  That was pretty awful, and then it lessened quite a lot around 4:00 or so.  I feel clear headed now, but I have lost the day.  I'm really tired.  These waves wear me out.  

 

I told my husband he could make the cake this morning.  So, he did, and it didn't cause me much grief at all. Yesterday, I was desperate to avoid that happening, and today it was not a problem.  So ridiculous.  He and my daughter went to his mother's for his cousin's birthday.  I stayed home alone, and I wasn't even afraid to do so.  Absolutely ridiculous.  Is this what mental Akathisia is like for most people?  Or is this something else?  This is so bizarre.

 

ADDITION: I felt sleepy this afternoon before I started feeling clear headed.  I may have dozed off for 5 minutes or so.  Then, I had diarrhea.  I took a mag bath yesterday, but I didn't take oral magnesium before bed last night.

[wantrelief]

I am happy to read you are feeling better, Rosetta.  Thinking about you - WR.

[Rosetta]

Thank you @wantrelief. I'm relieved.  I hope I can relax some more.  I hope you are all right, Wantrelief.

[Rabe]

SO glad to hear the wave is receding Rosetta...and that it was a short one!!!

[jonnypeters1234567]

akathisia, is severe restlessness, racing mind. I get paranoia with it, that I shouldnt be resting and should be out doing things to aid my recovery. Pacing seems to calm me and rubbing my hands together. It seems the brain can only focus on one thing during this and can be distracted

[Rosetta]

Very good observation, Jonny and thank you because when I'm confused I forget a simple solution like that.  @jonnypeters1234567

 

[DMV64]

Hi Rosetta! Stopping in to say and and see how you are doing!

[Rosetta]

The night wasn't very good.  I kept waking up and feeling afraid.  My daughter tossed and turned.  She woke me up a lot.  I didn't have much pain.  There was no dystonia.  I think I had several cortisol spikes.  There was a lot of existential fear.  

 

Acceptance, compassion for one's self and -- something that starts with a p.  I always forget what the p word is.  I'm trying to accept that this is my life.  It's very, very uncomfortable.  My heart feels squeezed.  My stomach feels queasy.  My whole head feels like I need to cry.  I feel that I'm not doing anything right.  Everything is out of control.  It's chaos all around me.  I want so badly to fix the chaos, yet even thinking about what I have to do to fix the chaos makes me afraid.  

 

It's absurd, but it's very, very real.  I need to ignore the mess in the garage to put in a load of laundry.  I need to confront the disorder in the kitchen to make breakfast.  I need to pick up some toys and put them in a box.  Why do these thoughts cause such intense fear?  Why am I afraid someone will come to my house and see the clutter?  Why am I afraid someone will abandon me and let me starve because my house is in disarray?  Yes, that's the end of the thought chain -- if I am not good, if I do not keep things in order, if I am not efficient, organized, and together, I will be abandoned, homeless, and starving.  That's what I am most afraid of.  Completely absurd.  That's not going to happen, and if it does it will not happen because I was disorganized!  It certainly won't happen because I TRIED to put laundry in the machine!!!  It won't happen because I have 3 dirty dishes next to the sink, a years worth of paper stacked on the counter and a refrigerator full of stuff that needs to be thrown away.  It's not going to happen because my daughter has too many toys, lots of toys she has outgrown, and that they are scattered in every room.  

 

In six months I'll be so much better than I am now.  It's not that far away.  Before anything bad happens I will be through the worst of this.

[Elyssa143]

@Rosetta Im so sorry your having such a hard time, I can relate :/. This is so hard. Ive been doing a bunch of research and these drugs can cause deficiencies, have you by any chance had any blood work done? Not trying to dismiss the withdrawl AT ALL but these drugs can cause so many issues especially years on them. Maybe some possible adrenal fatigue too with the cortisol spikes? Its such a mess trying to figure it all out :(. Im struggling too.are u taking any supplements or anything?  I do hope your wave passes soon. Love and light your way💓 

[RusTW]

9 hours ago, jonnypeters1234567 said:

akathisia, is severe restlessness, racing mind. I get paranoia with it, that I shouldnt be resting and should be out doing things to aid my recovery. Pacing seems to calm me and rubbing my hands together. It seems the brain can only focus on one thing during this and can be distracted

JP are you doing anything today.

[jonnypeters1234567]

8 minutes ago, RusTW said:

JP are you doing anything today.

Replying on my thread, thanks

[Rosetta]

@Rabe @wantrelief @Elyssa143

 

Thanks for your messages.  I always get worse when I have a week when I can't take my walks.  It has been very hot here, and I have to drive to the beach to walk.  Today isn't too hot -- 85 -- but it's too hot for me to walk very far.  I'm hoping to go the beach for a walk today.  My daughter can stay with her grandmother for an hour.  I will try to go everyday next week while my daughter is in camp.

 

Elyssa, thanks for the suggestion.  No, I haven't seen a doctor in over a year.  I just don't want to deal with the frustration.  I have an HMO.  The doctors are very rushed.  They don't want to talk about anything.  They don't listen.  I tried to talk to a gyn about perimenopause, and she said to see the psych department.  The psych dept just prescribes psych meds.  There's no real thought behind anything.  No real diagnosis.  If there's no prescription for a condition then it will not be treated.  If there is a prescription med then why won't I take it?  No alternative ideas or holistic ideas are allowed.  There's no time for that.  They change my primary care physician every 6 months.  They just notify me every time it changes.  I never get to know one, and they never know me as a person.  I'm just a billing number.  

 

I haven't tried asking for blood work for deficiencies.  Maybe I should at least try.  I've wanted to go to a holistic Doctor, but it's so expensive, and I don't know one I can trust.  I really can't afford to pay $200 for a visit just to see if the doctor is any good.  So, I read what others write here, and I try to work it out.  Altostrata saw so very many doctors.  She might have seen 30 or 40.  I don't remember the number she stated,, but I think she knows more about this condition than anyone.  When she says time heals I believe her, but I know she would agree with you that discovering a deficiency would be useful.  She would encourage me to use caution when deciding how to treat that deficiency, I'm sure.

 

I'm sure there are all sorts of things wrong with my adrenal function, and I'm probably deficient in something.  I've been waiting for my brain to sort itself out.  When I had a break from PMS for a few months I felt able to think about the idea that vitamins and nutrition might help me feel better.

 

I have been thinking about B vitamins

 

I have been thinking about eating better.  

 

I got an electrolyte powder called Ultimate Replenisher by Ultimate Health.  Just 3 days ago.

 

I use magnesium powder in water and I take Epsom salt baths (mag baths).  

 

I still haven't added fish oil, but I keep thinking about it.  

 

Thanks for your concern, Elyssa.  I do keep getting better.  I've come to point that I can hold on to the memory of being in a window, and that's amazing, but I do fall into a pretty deep emotional hole when I'm in a wave.  I've been trying to work out why my thoughts go where they go when that happens.  My hope is to use CBT on the thoughts, but that's not always possible when I'm so confused that I can't think clearly.  I've been wondering lately if cog fog is separate from anxiety or if anxiety causes cog fog.  Of course, anxiety can cause cog fog, but my question is whether it is there in the abscence of anxiety.  I'm so rarely completely calm.  I don't remember whether I am clear headed when I'm not anxious.

 

I hope you will feel better soon, Elyssa.  Don't let my long struggle discourage you.  There's no way to tell how long this will take.  Some people get better very quickly and others don't.  In any event, we slowly get better and we slowly get parts of our lives back.  We usually don't see the progress until after the fact.  That makes the day to day struggle so discouraging, but over 3 or 4 months there is a lot of progress.  It's all about seizing the day in a window, and finding ways to do that.  Other people want to make plans and get upset if we cancel.  So, we have to learn to be spontaneous and do a lot of things alone, but do them anyway.  Getting sunshine and gentle exercise is very, very important.

[Elyssa143]

@Rosetta Oh you are so right about Doctors! I guess I should have been more specific as far as an alternative Dr or naturopath. Im just really stuck on the fact that we had to have some trauma (emotional or physical) or some sort of imbalance physical that led us onto these meds in the first place right? I have alternative doctor who has checked my thyroid, not just my tsh as that doesnt matter but a full 7 panel test and I had low thyroid, I also had my hormones tested and my progesterone is very low, a regular doctor or gynecologist would never do this. Their paid by the pharmaceutical companies and only want us on meds. I also had my D, Iron and B12 tested and all were low which is a huge thing for depression and anxiety. Ive had my adrenals tested too, their low but im thinking my low dose naturthroid is helping my adrenals? Thyroid is at the root of everything apparently.  Now i do know we need time for our brains and neurotransmitters to balance again and time is the only thing that can heal that, but I also believe in supporting our body? But Im not a professional at all but I did all this when I went through benzo withdrawl and changed my diet severely no sugar, caffeine, gluten, dairy or grains and minimal meat. Who knows it its helping this time, but it helped last time. So im trying to be hopeful.  I know its so damn expensive to get any sort of real help! And thats not fair at all :(. II wish u the best and hopefully we can help support each other through this!