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Rosetta: cold switch May 2011 & too fast taper Feb 2017


Rosetta

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Rosetta

Well, taking it once in a while is different from taking it every night.  It can damage your stomach if taken in high doses, using it a lot taxes your kidneys, and your liver.  I’m sure there are Things we don’t know about what it does.

 

I have been avoiding it lately.  Apparently, it had an effect on depression.  It also affects our ability to empathize with others.  Those two pieces of info make me think it could kindle us.  
 

I think that if I were you I would try to find out if I had Dystonia (cervical Dystonia) or dyskinesia.  There are treatments for dystonia that don’t involve surgery.  Anesthesia is very hard on the brain.  Botox isn’t something I’m willing to try, but I would look into it if I were you.  You might decide try that before general anesthesia for a surgery.  Maybe it would not be enough.  I don’t know.

https://www.survivingantidepressants.org/topic/16629-rosetta-ct-may-2011-too-fast-taper-feb-2017/?page=25

2001-2011 Celexa 10 mg raised to 40 mg then 60 mg over this time period

May 2011 OB Doctor's Cold switch Celexa 60 mg to 10 mg Zoloft sertraline (baby born)

2012-2016 - Doctors raised dose of Zoloft up to 150 mg

2016 - Xanax prescribed - as needed - 0.5 mg about every 3 days (bad reaction)

2016 - Stopped Xanax

Late 2016- Began (too fast) taper of Zoloft

Early 2017 - Trazodone prescribed for bedtime (doseage unknown)

Feb 2017 - Completed taper/stopped Trazodone

Drug free since Feb 2017

2017 - Unisom otc very rarely for sleep

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You are welcome, Mimi.  Thanks you for being here, too.  Too bad we had to meet under such circumstances, but I’m glad we did. @Mimi79   Well, last night was a night of insomnia.  I was awak

Londoner,   You haven’t lived yet if you are 30 and you have been battling these drugs for 11 years.  There is so much out there in the world that is awe-inspiring. You can’t appreciate it b

@Amira123 Oh, yes, all of that!  It all slowly lessened over time.  There were windows when I felt relief from those symptoms.  Then, they would come back and go away again.  At times, I had bad waves

Rosetta

The hot flashes, night sweats and feeling sad are all strong again.  I’m feeling a lot of guilt over my cat who disappeared while we were in Spain.  I wish I had found a better way for her while we were gone.  My daughter cries over her almost daily.  It’s killing me.  I’m awake again; it’s 1:13.  I think I’ve had about 3 hot flashes so far tonight.  I’m so tired.

https://www.survivingantidepressants.org/topic/16629-rosetta-ct-may-2011-too-fast-taper-feb-2017/?page=25

2001-2011 Celexa 10 mg raised to 40 mg then 60 mg over this time period

May 2011 OB Doctor's Cold switch Celexa 60 mg to 10 mg Zoloft sertraline (baby born)

2012-2016 - Doctors raised dose of Zoloft up to 150 mg

2016 - Xanax prescribed - as needed - 0.5 mg about every 3 days (bad reaction)

2016 - Stopped Xanax

Late 2016- Began (too fast) taper of Zoloft

Early 2017 - Trazodone prescribed for bedtime (doseage unknown)

Feb 2017 - Completed taper/stopped Trazodone

Drug free since Feb 2017

2017 - Unisom otc very rarely for sleep

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  • Moderator

Sending huge hugs Rosetta ❤☀️

Sometimes I like to roll a cold bottle of water on my legs while having hot flashes.

Thinking of you. 

2006 : 20mg Paroxetine + Bromazepam(no specific dose) 2008 : cold turkey of both

2010 : 20mg Deroxat + Bromazepam

2013: Switch from Bromazepam To Prazepam

2014-June2017 : Prazepam taper

2018 to August 2019 : Paroxetine 20mg taper (3% every 15 days).

- 22nd August updosed To 10mg (was at 8.4mg)

25th Sept 2019 To April 2020 : found SA, holding at 10mg Paroxetine. 

April 2020 : Paxil to Prozac bridge. Details topic/21457-

 

Current Supplements : magnesium citrate/ fish oil/ evening primrose oil 

 

Current medication :  7mg Fluoxetine (since 20 Aug 2020)

+ 1mg Diazepam (since 29 Aug 2020)

(Toothpick Paroxetine from September 2020 to 17th March 2021)

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Rosetta

Thank you @Erell  I had at least 8 hot flashes throughout the night.  The first one included a cortisol spike.  I woke up afraid.  All the rest had ruminations and insomnia following them.  I’m feeling very low.  During the day, I can’t do much of anything.  Thanks for visiting, Erell.  I know you are struggling, too, right now.

https://www.survivingantidepressants.org/topic/16629-rosetta-ct-may-2011-too-fast-taper-feb-2017/?page=25

2001-2011 Celexa 10 mg raised to 40 mg then 60 mg over this time period

May 2011 OB Doctor's Cold switch Celexa 60 mg to 10 mg Zoloft sertraline (baby born)

2012-2016 - Doctors raised dose of Zoloft up to 150 mg

2016 - Xanax prescribed - as needed - 0.5 mg about every 3 days (bad reaction)

2016 - Stopped Xanax

Late 2016- Began (too fast) taper of Zoloft

Early 2017 - Trazodone prescribed for bedtime (doseage unknown)

Feb 2017 - Completed taper/stopped Trazodone

Drug free since Feb 2017

2017 - Unisom otc very rarely for sleep

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Rosetta

Yesterday was much better.  The last two nights have had fewer hot flashes, more sleep and it as easier to go back to sleep.  No cortisol spike last night or this morning.  


I get my teeth cleaned today.  WD has made my gums very sensitive.  I didn’t take care of my teeth very well.  Sometimes they stop bleeding, but usually, they are swollen and bleed when I brush them.  So, I’m getting them cleaned 3 times a year now.  I’m hoping to avoid gum disease getting worse.

https://www.survivingantidepressants.org/topic/16629-rosetta-ct-may-2011-too-fast-taper-feb-2017/?page=25

2001-2011 Celexa 10 mg raised to 40 mg then 60 mg over this time period

May 2011 OB Doctor's Cold switch Celexa 60 mg to 10 mg Zoloft sertraline (baby born)

2012-2016 - Doctors raised dose of Zoloft up to 150 mg

2016 - Xanax prescribed - as needed - 0.5 mg about every 3 days (bad reaction)

2016 - Stopped Xanax

Late 2016- Began (too fast) taper of Zoloft

Early 2017 - Trazodone prescribed for bedtime (doseage unknown)

Feb 2017 - Completed taper/stopped Trazodone

Drug free since Feb 2017

2017 - Unisom otc very rarely for sleep

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Happy2Heal

just popping in to say hi

glad to hear you're getting a bit better sleep recently. I hope that's the start of a trend!! :)

 

  • pysch med history: 1974 @ age 18 to Oct 2017 (approx 43 yrs total)
  •  Drug list: stelazine, haldol, elavil, lithium, zoloft, celexa, lexapro(doses as high as 40mgs), klonopin, ambien, seroquel(high doses), depakote, zyprexa, lamictal- plus brief trials of dozens of other psych meds over the years
  • started lexapro 2002, dose varied from 20mgs to 40mgs. I tried to get off it several times. WD symptoms were mistaken for "relapse". 
  •  2013 too fast taper down to 5mg but WD forced me back to 20mgs
  •  June of 2105, tapered again too rapidly to 2.5mgs by Dec 2015. Found SA, held at 2.5 mgs til May 2016 when I foolishly "jumped off". Crashed in Sept, reinstated at 0.3mgs in Oct. 2106
  • Tapered off to zero by  Oct. 2017 Doing very well
  • Nov. 2018 feel 95% healed, current age 63 
  • Jan. 2020 feel 100% healed, peaceful and content 
  • April 2021, loving life ❤️ 
 
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Rosetta

Thank you, @Happy2Heal.  Me, too.

 

So. Three nights ago I had the same very odd nausea in the middle of the night.  I have had this for years, but it’s far less common now.  It lasted for about an hour, and I was so desperate to throw up that I gagged myself.  That didn’t really work very well.  I had the panic and the sweating that I used to get when I threw up during the early days of withdrawal (meaning years and years between 2004 and 2018).  I used to think this food poisoned feeling and vomiting was related to my periods. Now, I think it was a combination of my period and WD.  This time, it was very uncomfortable and anxiety producing, but it passed.  Real food poisoning lasts for hours.

 

My daughter is sick.  Last night, she had a very bad headache.  I had to give her Tylenol.  In the morning she was fine.  Tonight, in her sleep, she is coughing.  I am very scared that she has Covid.  Other than a very slight cold and having some appetite, but not eating very much, she acts fine in terms of her physical health.  The coughing is new.  She has been crying a lot lately — mostly about our cat who disappeared when we were in Spain over a year ago.  I feel so helpless against Covid.

https://www.survivingantidepressants.org/topic/16629-rosetta-ct-may-2011-too-fast-taper-feb-2017/?page=25

2001-2011 Celexa 10 mg raised to 40 mg then 60 mg over this time period

May 2011 OB Doctor's Cold switch Celexa 60 mg to 10 mg Zoloft sertraline (baby born)

2012-2016 - Doctors raised dose of Zoloft up to 150 mg

2016 - Xanax prescribed - as needed - 0.5 mg about every 3 days (bad reaction)

2016 - Stopped Xanax

Late 2016- Began (too fast) taper of Zoloft

Early 2017 - Trazodone prescribed for bedtime (doseage unknown)

Feb 2017 - Completed taper/stopped Trazodone

Drug free since Feb 2017

2017 - Unisom otc very rarely for sleep

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Can you bring her to make the Covid testing?

2008-2019: various ADs at various doses, initially for anxiety related insomnia.

2015: C/T Paxil - GP switch me to Mirtazapine and Pristiq. 2018: Switched Pristiq to Venlafaxine (For tapering)

2019-01: Stopped Venlafaxine after a 10 months taper. Updosed Mirtazapine to 45mg.

Summer 2019: Fast taper of Mirtazapine. Sept 2019, down to 30mg, hit bad W/D symptoms, so updosed to 45mg.

Tried escitalopram 10mg, C/T after 4 weeks. Tried Buspar, C/T after 5 days.

Jan 2020: Second mirtazapine weaning attempt, but end of january, big wave of symptoms, back to 45mg Mirtazapine.

Feb 2020: 50mg quetiapineXR, CT after 1 week. 21 Feb 2020, found SA and staying on 45mg Mirtazapine, waiting for stabilization.

Quetiapine 25mg  PRN since may 2019, March 2020 stopped.

Mirtazapine taper, from 45mg:  2020-10-21 43.88mg, 10-28 42.75mg, 11-04 41.63mg, 11-11 40.5mg, 11-24 41.6mg, 12-03 42.20mg, updose 2021–01-15 to 42,7 and holding.

Ativan prn since jan 2021. Became accidentally dep. March 2021.
2021-03-21 Ativan 0,29mg / 2021-03-28 0.28mg/ 2021-04-08 0.27mg/ 2021-04-26 0.25mg

Supplements: Magnesium Glycinate, Omega-3, D vit, Probiotic.

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Rosetta

Yes, I can.  @Mimi79  I have to or she can’t go to school.  I hope she isn’t home for a week!

https://www.survivingantidepressants.org/topic/16629-rosetta-ct-may-2011-too-fast-taper-feb-2017/?page=25

2001-2011 Celexa 10 mg raised to 40 mg then 60 mg over this time period

May 2011 OB Doctor's Cold switch Celexa 60 mg to 10 mg Zoloft sertraline (baby born)

2012-2016 - Doctors raised dose of Zoloft up to 150 mg

2016 - Xanax prescribed - as needed - 0.5 mg about every 3 days (bad reaction)

2016 - Stopped Xanax

Late 2016- Began (too fast) taper of Zoloft

Early 2017 - Trazodone prescribed for bedtime (doseage unknown)

Feb 2017 - Completed taper/stopped Trazodone

Drug free since Feb 2017

2017 - Unisom otc very rarely for sleep

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Rosetta

Might be going into a wave.  I hope not.  I was very stressed today.  It’s a Sunday, and they are always hard.  
 

I think what I eat on Sundays and the way the day is structured contributes to anxiety.  Everyone gets up late, has pancakes for breakfast (I usually skip the syrup), and then we lazy around until about 2:00.  I’m out of dishwashing detergent and milk.  That complicated meals today.
 

My daughter plays a game online with a girl in Spain.  That goes from about 11:00 to 1:00, and we can’t change that because of the time difference.  
 

We are supposed to go to my MILs, but I rarely go.  I feel so anxious by 2:00.  I think it’s because I have low blood sugar.  I lose track of time and don’t eat, and then we are suppose to leave, but I can’t.  I stay home alone.  I really hate Sundays.

 

Anyway, I have my daughter’s birthday next weekend.  I’m sure I am stressed about that.  I have to have it here because of COVID.  I guess my friends will see my house when they go to the bathroom.  I have not been able to do anything about it yet, and now I have one week.  Maybe I can at least hide the mess.

 

I thought I was functioning better, but a I still can’t keep things done so that Sunday’s are better.  I guess I’m still very scatter brained.

https://www.survivingantidepressants.org/topic/16629-rosetta-ct-may-2011-too-fast-taper-feb-2017/?page=25

2001-2011 Celexa 10 mg raised to 40 mg then 60 mg over this time period

May 2011 OB Doctor's Cold switch Celexa 60 mg to 10 mg Zoloft sertraline (baby born)

2012-2016 - Doctors raised dose of Zoloft up to 150 mg

2016 - Xanax prescribed - as needed - 0.5 mg about every 3 days (bad reaction)

2016 - Stopped Xanax

Late 2016- Began (too fast) taper of Zoloft

Early 2017 - Trazodone prescribed for bedtime (doseage unknown)

Feb 2017 - Completed taper/stopped Trazodone

Drug free since Feb 2017

2017 - Unisom otc very rarely for sleep

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Phoenixmama

@rosetta sending you light and love , i hope you feel better.... 

 

 

started celexa 10mg feb 2nd 

feb 25th took my last 10g

feb 26th took 5mg

feb 27th took 5mg 

feb 28th cold turkey 

currently taking mag

 

 

 

 

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Dear Rosetta,

I'm thinking of you. I'm sure you will find a solution for your daughter's birthday. I think hiding the mess is an excellent choice!

I hope the Covid test is negative.

Have a good day!

 

Anne-Marie

2008-2019: various ADs at various doses, initially for anxiety related insomnia.

2015: C/T Paxil - GP switch me to Mirtazapine and Pristiq. 2018: Switched Pristiq to Venlafaxine (For tapering)

2019-01: Stopped Venlafaxine after a 10 months taper. Updosed Mirtazapine to 45mg.

Summer 2019: Fast taper of Mirtazapine. Sept 2019, down to 30mg, hit bad W/D symptoms, so updosed to 45mg.

Tried escitalopram 10mg, C/T after 4 weeks. Tried Buspar, C/T after 5 days.

Jan 2020: Second mirtazapine weaning attempt, but end of january, big wave of symptoms, back to 45mg Mirtazapine.

Feb 2020: 50mg quetiapineXR, CT after 1 week. 21 Feb 2020, found SA and staying on 45mg Mirtazapine, waiting for stabilization.

Quetiapine 25mg  PRN since may 2019, March 2020 stopped.

Mirtazapine taper, from 45mg:  2020-10-21 43.88mg, 10-28 42.75mg, 11-04 41.63mg, 11-11 40.5mg, 11-24 41.6mg, 12-03 42.20mg, updose 2021–01-15 to 42,7 and holding.

Ativan prn since jan 2021. Became accidentally dep. March 2021.
2021-03-21 Ativan 0,29mg / 2021-03-28 0.28mg/ 2021-04-08 0.27mg/ 2021-04-26 0.25mg

Supplements: Magnesium Glycinate, Omega-3, D vit, Probiotic.

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Rosetta

Thank you @Mimi79 and @Phoenixmama  It’s very nice to see your support.

 

I’m fine.  I get panicky when I feel myself going down again. I am noticing that I am ticklish again.  It’s off and on.  That’s a good sign.  It’s both uplifting and dismaying to realize how much this syndrome and change “who” we are.  It robs of us our humanity, as I saw someone else comment.

 

I slept fine last night.  Hot flashes were happening, but no severe adrenaline rushes.  I stayed in bed.  Dystonia is constantly coming back because I keep writing here, but i like to give back when I have the ability.  There is so much need for help; it’s incredible.

 

I’m getting some bankers’ boxes today and some bins, and I just have to hide this mess and get the floors clean.  It will be fine.  I might even find my daughter’s retainer in the process.

https://www.survivingantidepressants.org/topic/16629-rosetta-ct-may-2011-too-fast-taper-feb-2017/?page=25

2001-2011 Celexa 10 mg raised to 40 mg then 60 mg over this time period

May 2011 OB Doctor's Cold switch Celexa 60 mg to 10 mg Zoloft sertraline (baby born)

2012-2016 - Doctors raised dose of Zoloft up to 150 mg

2016 - Xanax prescribed - as needed - 0.5 mg about every 3 days (bad reaction)

2016 - Stopped Xanax

Late 2016- Began (too fast) taper of Zoloft

Early 2017 - Trazodone prescribed for bedtime (doseage unknown)

Feb 2017 - Completed taper/stopped Trazodone

Drug free since Feb 2017

2017 - Unisom otc very rarely for sleep

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Believer

Hi Rosetta, you are such a trooper, this has been a long journey for you. Continue to be gentle with yourself. As we know, being hard on ourselves makes things worse. It’s awesome that you are throwing your daughter a party! And maybe you will find her retainer!

Take care of you.

 

1998-2015 Zoloft. 100mg

6/21/19 5.05 mg

9/6/19 4.8 mg

4/24/20 4.57 mg

Supplements: Natural Calm magnesium 

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Rosetta

Thanks @Believer That’s so kind of you.  Yes, it’s a very small party. Should be easier with only 4 kids.  We are gong to tie dye. I’m grateful for this year of distancing at the same time that is been hard.  I needed the pressure off these 13 months.  It’s sad for my daughter, but she will make friends.

https://www.survivingantidepressants.org/topic/16629-rosetta-ct-may-2011-too-fast-taper-feb-2017/?page=25

2001-2011 Celexa 10 mg raised to 40 mg then 60 mg over this time period

May 2011 OB Doctor's Cold switch Celexa 60 mg to 10 mg Zoloft sertraline (baby born)

2012-2016 - Doctors raised dose of Zoloft up to 150 mg

2016 - Xanax prescribed - as needed - 0.5 mg about every 3 days (bad reaction)

2016 - Stopped Xanax

Late 2016- Began (too fast) taper of Zoloft

Early 2017 - Trazodone prescribed for bedtime (doseage unknown)

Feb 2017 - Completed taper/stopped Trazodone

Drug free since Feb 2017

2017 - Unisom otc very rarely for sleep

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  • Mentor

@Rosetta

 

It sound like you have a well made plan in progress. That’s wonderful!

 

I hope you’re able to find your daughter’s retainer in the process.

 

Take care,

 Frogie xx

PREVIOUS medications and discontinuations: Have been on medications since 1996. 

 Valium, Gabapentin, Lamictal and Prilosec from 2000 to 2015 with a fast taper by a psychiatrist.

 Liquid Lexapro Nov, 2016 to 31-March, 2019 Lexapro free!!! (total Lexapro taper was 4 years-started with pill form)

---CURRENT MEDICATIONS:Supplements:Milk Thistle, Metamucil, Magnesium Citrate, Vitamin D3, Levothyroxine

 Xanax 1mg three times a day June, 2000 to 19-September, 2020 Went from .150 grams (average weight of 1 Xanax) three times a day to .003 grams three times a day.

19-September, 2020 Xanax free!!! (total Xanax taper was 15-1/2 months-1-June, 2019-19-September, 2020)

 

 

I am not a medical professional. The suggestions I make are based on personal experience.

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Rosetta

Thank you, @Frogie.  I’m very happy to see that you have tapered off and are doing well — a Moderator even.  You are a shining example of the amazing good that this site does — a life saved from who knows what sort of mess in which you might have found yourself!

https://www.survivingantidepressants.org/topic/16629-rosetta-ct-may-2011-too-fast-taper-feb-2017/?page=25

2001-2011 Celexa 10 mg raised to 40 mg then 60 mg over this time period

May 2011 OB Doctor's Cold switch Celexa 60 mg to 10 mg Zoloft sertraline (baby born)

2012-2016 - Doctors raised dose of Zoloft up to 150 mg

2016 - Xanax prescribed - as needed - 0.5 mg about every 3 days (bad reaction)

2016 - Stopped Xanax

Late 2016- Began (too fast) taper of Zoloft

Early 2017 - Trazodone prescribed for bedtime (doseage unknown)

Feb 2017 - Completed taper/stopped Trazodone

Drug free since Feb 2017

2017 - Unisom otc very rarely for sleep

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wantrelief

Hi Rosetta - I am always impressed with how much you do despite the challenges you are facing.  Throwing a birthday party is no easy feat at all and what a creative idea you came up with to do tie-dying!  How is your daughter feeling?  I really hope her illness has passed so you don't have to worry about Covid on top of everything.  Hang in there....you are doing great!

-1/06 - 3/07 Cymbalta. Fast taper; withdrawal symptoms after 4 mos (didn't realize was WD)

-10/07: 100 mg Zoloft; 1 mg Klonopin - tapered off Klonopin
-Tried several times to slowly taper Zoloft by 10%, then 5% every 4-6 weeks; could never get below approx. 40 mg - spring 2012 experienced major WD symptoms due to stress; tried to updose but no relief, back on Klonopin 1 mg.
-Switched over 5-6 mos from Zoloft to Citalopram. Finished Zoloft 1/13; Citalopram 35 mg and 1 mg Klonopin.
-8/13: 27 mg Citalopram; 1 mg Klonopin

-11/14: 12.6 Citalopram - began to have bad withdrawal symptoms; out of desperation increased to 1.25 mg Klonopin at the beginning of December.  12/13/14 16 mg Citalopram - going to stay here to try to stabilize; stabilized on 16 mg Citalopram after 4-5 months

-7/15 - 3/16: reduced to 15 mg; ~ 2 months later w/d hit hard (probably r/t stress); 6/16 updosed to 20 mg Citalopram and trying to stabilize. Updosed to 1.5 Klonopin as well. Stabilized on 20 mg Citalopram after 4-5 months

8/17-9/17: feeling withdrawal symptoms at 20 mg Citalopram (due to stress) - slowly increased to 25 mg. No change in symptoms after 6 months (? tolerance ?)  - decided to start citalopram taper February 2018 (still on Klonopin 1.5 mg).

Supplements: fish oil; magnesium; vitamin D3; curcumin

Citalopram taper:  2/2018 - 12/2019: 25 mg - 11.03 mg I 2020: 10.89 mg - 7.9 mg

2021: 1/3/21: 7.8 mg (1.27% drop); 1/24/21: 7.7 mg (1.29%); 1/31/21: 7.6 mg (1.17%); 2/7/21: 7.5 mg (1.19%); 2/14/21: 7.4 mg (1.34%); 2/28/21: 7.3 mg (1.25%); 3/7/21: 7.2 mg (1.25%); 3/21/21: 7.1 mg (1.25%); 3/28/21: 7.0 (1.25%); 4/25/21 - : generic clonazepam switch

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Rosetta

Thanks, @wantrelief  She’s fine.  It’s a very slight cold.  She has not had a fever, and she’s full of energy.  She had a very bad headache one night — Saturday, I think.  So, that adds to the worry.  I don’t know what caused that.  It wasn’t dehydration.  
 

Covid is such a strange disease that can turn on a person so quickly.  That’s why I’m nervous.  Even with a positive test there is little I can do except be vigilant, but I need to know for myself and my husband, of course.
 

My HMO has restricted Covid tests to 4 hours a day now — 7:30 to 11:30, and there is only one location in a 30 mile radius.  We can’t get one at her pediatrician’s office.  She misses 10 days of school for every illness that cannot be identified.  Even a negative test isn’t enough if she has symptoms.  We have to wait 72 hours after symptoms have disappeared for her to go back.  Of course, I understand the caution and I appreciate it, but oh, how I want this mess to be over.  It won’t disappear without widespread, easy-to-access testing.
 

It’s fine.  We can deal with the hours, but I didn’t know the hours had been cut.  So, we made a trip yesterday for nothing.  What irritates me is that many people can’t use those hours, and this disease continues to spread.  It should be simple enough to be open during all daytime hours for Covid tests.  I don’t have to tell you that a medical system based on profits is dangerous.

 

Yes, I do the birthdays well.  The rest of the time she goes for a couple of weeks or more without playdates, but I get the birthday thing right.  I want her to remember that she was loved.   It would be better for her the other way around, but . . .
 

This should be fun.  Her third grade teacher had a tie dye party for the kids on the very day the school was shut down in 2020.  I helped.  So, at least this isn’t new to me.  I bought a kit, too.  Her two friends from preschool and her best friend are coming.  It will be nice.

 

I hope I don’t have to postpone because she has Covid!

https://www.survivingantidepressants.org/topic/16629-rosetta-ct-may-2011-too-fast-taper-feb-2017/?page=25

2001-2011 Celexa 10 mg raised to 40 mg then 60 mg over this time period

May 2011 OB Doctor's Cold switch Celexa 60 mg to 10 mg Zoloft sertraline (baby born)

2012-2016 - Doctors raised dose of Zoloft up to 150 mg

2016 - Xanax prescribed - as needed - 0.5 mg about every 3 days (bad reaction)

2016 - Stopped Xanax

Late 2016- Began (too fast) taper of Zoloft

Early 2017 - Trazodone prescribed for bedtime (doseage unknown)

Feb 2017 - Completed taper/stopped Trazodone

Drug free since Feb 2017

2017 - Unisom otc very rarely for sleep

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wantrelief

I am keeping everything crossed your daughter does not have Covid - I don't know a lot about how it manifests in kids but what you are describing doesn't sound like Covid at least from how adults feel with it.

 

33 minutes ago, Rosetta said:

I want her to remember that she was loved.

I think this is the most important thing for a child to feel, more than anything (coming from someone who didn't feel that way growing up but did have nice birthday parties, play with friends and such).  You are a wonderful mother, Rosetta.

-1/06 - 3/07 Cymbalta. Fast taper; withdrawal symptoms after 4 mos (didn't realize was WD)

-10/07: 100 mg Zoloft; 1 mg Klonopin - tapered off Klonopin
-Tried several times to slowly taper Zoloft by 10%, then 5% every 4-6 weeks; could never get below approx. 40 mg - spring 2012 experienced major WD symptoms due to stress; tried to updose but no relief, back on Klonopin 1 mg.
-Switched over 5-6 mos from Zoloft to Citalopram. Finished Zoloft 1/13; Citalopram 35 mg and 1 mg Klonopin.
-8/13: 27 mg Citalopram; 1 mg Klonopin

-11/14: 12.6 Citalopram - began to have bad withdrawal symptoms; out of desperation increased to 1.25 mg Klonopin at the beginning of December.  12/13/14 16 mg Citalopram - going to stay here to try to stabilize; stabilized on 16 mg Citalopram after 4-5 months

-7/15 - 3/16: reduced to 15 mg; ~ 2 months later w/d hit hard (probably r/t stress); 6/16 updosed to 20 mg Citalopram and trying to stabilize. Updosed to 1.5 Klonopin as well. Stabilized on 20 mg Citalopram after 4-5 months

8/17-9/17: feeling withdrawal symptoms at 20 mg Citalopram (due to stress) - slowly increased to 25 mg. No change in symptoms after 6 months (? tolerance ?)  - decided to start citalopram taper February 2018 (still on Klonopin 1.5 mg).

Supplements: fish oil; magnesium; vitamin D3; curcumin

Citalopram taper:  2/2018 - 12/2019: 25 mg - 11.03 mg I 2020: 10.89 mg - 7.9 mg

2021: 1/3/21: 7.8 mg (1.27% drop); 1/24/21: 7.7 mg (1.29%); 1/31/21: 7.6 mg (1.17%); 2/7/21: 7.5 mg (1.19%); 2/14/21: 7.4 mg (1.34%); 2/28/21: 7.3 mg (1.25%); 3/7/21: 7.2 mg (1.25%); 3/21/21: 7.1 mg (1.25%); 3/28/21: 7.0 (1.25%); 4/25/21 - : generic clonazepam switch

Link to post

Just checking in on you. ❤️❤️

Started Lamictal and Brintellix in November 2015

May 2016 Discontinued Lamictal 100 to 50 and then stopped completely.

October 20, 2016 discontinued Brintellex 10 to 5 then went from 5 to 0 on November 10, 2016.

 

Currently off all antidepressants

 

Current Supplements:  L-Theanine, Natural Progesterone, L-Methylfolate, Vitamin D, Omega-3's, Probiotic

Link to post
Rosetta

 

Thanks @Sheera  I should check on you, too!

https://www.survivingantidepressants.org/topic/16629-rosetta-ct-may-2011-too-fast-taper-feb-2017/?page=25

2001-2011 Celexa 10 mg raised to 40 mg then 60 mg over this time period

May 2011 OB Doctor's Cold switch Celexa 60 mg to 10 mg Zoloft sertraline (baby born)

2012-2016 - Doctors raised dose of Zoloft up to 150 mg

2016 - Xanax prescribed - as needed - 0.5 mg about every 3 days (bad reaction)

2016 - Stopped Xanax

Late 2016- Began (too fast) taper of Zoloft

Early 2017 - Trazodone prescribed for bedtime (doseage unknown)

Feb 2017 - Completed taper/stopped Trazodone

Drug free since Feb 2017

2017 - Unisom otc very rarely for sleep

Link to post
Rosetta

Today has been quite bad.  If I had anyone to call I would.  There is no one.  I don’t have a single person that I can talk to about this.  

 

 

https://www.survivingantidepressants.org/topic/16629-rosetta-ct-may-2011-too-fast-taper-feb-2017/?page=25

2001-2011 Celexa 10 mg raised to 40 mg then 60 mg over this time period

May 2011 OB Doctor's Cold switch Celexa 60 mg to 10 mg Zoloft sertraline (baby born)

2012-2016 - Doctors raised dose of Zoloft up to 150 mg

2016 - Xanax prescribed - as needed - 0.5 mg about every 3 days (bad reaction)

2016 - Stopped Xanax

Late 2016- Began (too fast) taper of Zoloft

Early 2017 - Trazodone prescribed for bedtime (doseage unknown)

Feb 2017 - Completed taper/stopped Trazodone

Drug free since Feb 2017

2017 - Unisom otc very rarely for sleep

Link to post
Happy2Heal
1 hour ago, Rosetta said:

Today has been quite bad.  If I had anyone to call I would.  There is no one.  I don’t have a single person that I can talk to about this.  

 

 

I am sorry you had a bad day today.

I am sending you a PM 

  • pysch med history: 1974 @ age 18 to Oct 2017 (approx 43 yrs total)
  •  Drug list: stelazine, haldol, elavil, lithium, zoloft, celexa, lexapro(doses as high as 40mgs), klonopin, ambien, seroquel(high doses), depakote, zyprexa, lamictal- plus brief trials of dozens of other psych meds over the years
  • started lexapro 2002, dose varied from 20mgs to 40mgs. I tried to get off it several times. WD symptoms were mistaken for "relapse". 
  •  2013 too fast taper down to 5mg but WD forced me back to 20mgs
  •  June of 2105, tapered again too rapidly to 2.5mgs by Dec 2015. Found SA, held at 2.5 mgs til May 2016 when I foolishly "jumped off". Crashed in Sept, reinstated at 0.3mgs in Oct. 2106
  • Tapered off to zero by  Oct. 2017 Doing very well
  • Nov. 2018 feel 95% healed, current age 63 
  • Jan. 2020 feel 100% healed, peaceful and content 
  • April 2021, loving life ❤️ 
 
Link to post
Happy2Heal
12 minutes ago, Happy2Heal said:

I am sorry you had a bad day today.

I am sending you a PM 

ok no I'm not lol 

 

I hope you're feeling a bit better now

  • pysch med history: 1974 @ age 18 to Oct 2017 (approx 43 yrs total)
  •  Drug list: stelazine, haldol, elavil, lithium, zoloft, celexa, lexapro(doses as high as 40mgs), klonopin, ambien, seroquel(high doses), depakote, zyprexa, lamictal- plus brief trials of dozens of other psych meds over the years
  • started lexapro 2002, dose varied from 20mgs to 40mgs. I tried to get off it several times. WD symptoms were mistaken for "relapse". 
  •  2013 too fast taper down to 5mg but WD forced me back to 20mgs
  •  June of 2105, tapered again too rapidly to 2.5mgs by Dec 2015. Found SA, held at 2.5 mgs til May 2016 when I foolishly "jumped off". Crashed in Sept, reinstated at 0.3mgs in Oct. 2106
  • Tapered off to zero by  Oct. 2017 Doing very well
  • Nov. 2018 feel 95% healed, current age 63 
  • Jan. 2020 feel 100% healed, peaceful and content 
  • April 2021, loving life ❤️ 
 
Link to post
2 hours ago, Rosetta said:

Today has been quite bad.  If I had anyone to call I would.  There is no one.  I don’t have a single person that I can talk to about this.  

 

 

@RosettaI'm so sorry today has been so hard for you. I relate to everything you say... tension and conflict with my husband and son drive me to SI every single time. Even minor things. If I so much as sense that one of them is annoyed at me, I spiral. My husband is wonderful and patient, but he is also human. And my son... we'll he's 13 so almost every interaction is turbulent. I can relate to what you say on every level. But please know this, your realness and inner strength has brought me so much hope the last year. You're human. You will falter. But you get back up. You sound like a wonderful mum and wife and I for one am so very glad you're in this community. 

 

Aug 2004 - Dec 2006: Aropax ( 20mg - 30mg). Aug 2007: Fluoxetine (for 3 weeks).

Sept 07 - July 12: Lexapro ( 10mg - 20mg). Pooped out July 12. Titrated down off Lexapro over 3 weeks and switched to Paroxetine (with Xanax to cover switch for 2 weeks).

Aug 2012 - Aug 2019: Paroxetine (titrated up to 20mg in first few weeks,, dose reduced to 15mg . for 7 years until it 'pooped out'.

4th Aug 2019 - Reduced dose of paroxetine to 10mg (for 1 day) - under phychiatrists directions. Last dose of paroxetine.

5th Aug 2019 - Switch to 15mg Mirtazapine.

5th Aug - 15th Aug 2019 - 15mg Mirtazapine plus intermitent use of Lorazapm (0.25- 0.5 . Also used 12.5mg Quetiapine for 3 nights for sleep.

23rd Aug 2019 - Ended up in crisis team. Mirtazapine increased to 30mg. Diazapam 10mg twice daily.

30th Aug 2019 - Mirtazapine 30mg + Diazapam reduced to 7.5mg twice daily

6th Sept 2019 - Mirtazapine 30mg + Diazapam reduced to 5mg twice daily

13th Sept 2019 - Mirtazapine increased to 45mg. Diazapam increased back up to 10mg twice daily.

20th Sept - 29th Sept 2019: Mirtazapine 45mg. Diazapam being reduced from 10mg down to 0mg this week (in 2mg increments couple of days).

30th Sept - Thursday 3rd Oct 2019: Mirtazapine 45mg. WORST ANXIETY EVER. Akathisia. Couldn't stay still. Suicidal idealization.

Friday 4th October - present: Reduced from 45mg to 30mg (straight drop to alleviate akathisia - reduction definitely helped alot but still not gone completely)

 

 

, Vit B6, Curcumin, Magnesium (no adverse effects from adding these supplements - have helped akathisia somewhat).

* Everything done from 23rd August under care of outpatient crisis team management.

 

Untitled document.docx

Link to post
16 minutes ago, cathnz said:

@RosettaI'm so sorry today has been so hard for you. I relate to everything you say... tension and conflict with my husband and son drive me to SI every single time. Even minor things. If I so much as sense that one of them is annoyed at me, I spiral. My husband is wonderful and patient, but he is also human. And my son... we'll he's 13 so almost every interaction is turbulent. I can relate to what you say on every level. But please know this, your realness and inner strength has brought me so much hope the last year. You're human. You will falter. But you get back up. You sound like a wonderful mum and wife and I for one am so very glad you're in this community. 

@Rosetta, just a thought, have you ever tried eft? When I'm caught up in a SI spiral during/after conflict, I've taken to hiding in my wardrobe and tapping on myself. Sometimes with a script, sometimes just taking breathing and crying. It helps shave just a wee bit off the top of the distress to give me some breathing room. 

 

Aug 2004 - Dec 2006: Aropax ( 20mg - 30mg). Aug 2007: Fluoxetine (for 3 weeks).

Sept 07 - July 12: Lexapro ( 10mg - 20mg). Pooped out July 12. Titrated down off Lexapro over 3 weeks and switched to Paroxetine (with Xanax to cover switch for 2 weeks).

Aug 2012 - Aug 2019: Paroxetine (titrated up to 20mg in first few weeks,, dose reduced to 15mg . for 7 years until it 'pooped out'.

4th Aug 2019 - Reduced dose of paroxetine to 10mg (for 1 day) - under phychiatrists directions. Last dose of paroxetine.

5th Aug 2019 - Switch to 15mg Mirtazapine.

5th Aug - 15th Aug 2019 - 15mg Mirtazapine plus intermitent use of Lorazapm (0.25- 0.5 . Also used 12.5mg Quetiapine for 3 nights for sleep.

23rd Aug 2019 - Ended up in crisis team. Mirtazapine increased to 30mg. Diazapam 10mg twice daily.

30th Aug 2019 - Mirtazapine 30mg + Diazapam reduced to 7.5mg twice daily

6th Sept 2019 - Mirtazapine 30mg + Diazapam reduced to 5mg twice daily

13th Sept 2019 - Mirtazapine increased to 45mg. Diazapam increased back up to 10mg twice daily.

20th Sept - 29th Sept 2019: Mirtazapine 45mg. Diazapam being reduced from 10mg down to 0mg this week (in 2mg increments couple of days).

30th Sept - Thursday 3rd Oct 2019: Mirtazapine 45mg. WORST ANXIETY EVER. Akathisia. Couldn't stay still. Suicidal idealization.

Friday 4th October - present: Reduced from 45mg to 30mg (straight drop to alleviate akathisia - reduction definitely helped alot but still not gone completely)

 

 

, Vit B6, Curcumin, Magnesium (no adverse effects from adding these supplements - have helped akathisia somewhat).

* Everything done from 23rd August under care of outpatient crisis team management.

 

Untitled document.docx

Link to post
Rosetta

Thank you @cathnz I guess you read the post before I deleted most of it.  Thank you for being so kind.  I’m able to deal with the fact the waves come back now, but my husband isn’t.  Thank you, @Happy2Heal  I guess I need to empty my mailbox.

https://www.survivingantidepressants.org/topic/16629-rosetta-ct-may-2011-too-fast-taper-feb-2017/?page=25

2001-2011 Celexa 10 mg raised to 40 mg then 60 mg over this time period

May 2011 OB Doctor's Cold switch Celexa 60 mg to 10 mg Zoloft sertraline (baby born)

2012-2016 - Doctors raised dose of Zoloft up to 150 mg

2016 - Xanax prescribed - as needed - 0.5 mg about every 3 days (bad reaction)

2016 - Stopped Xanax

Late 2016- Began (too fast) taper of Zoloft

Early 2017 - Trazodone prescribed for bedtime (doseage unknown)

Feb 2017 - Completed taper/stopped Trazodone

Drug free since Feb 2017

2017 - Unisom otc very rarely for sleep

Link to post
Rosetta

I wrote this to someone.  I have noticed an improvement in one of my symptoms and that is noted here.

 

The symptoms of ADWD and PWS can be different for everyone.  There are some that are more common in all people, but we all have different “constellations.”  Each person seems to have one or two that are very prominent —happen more often or lessen and intensify the most.  Dizzyness and ear ringing are common for example.  When those symptoms that are common for a particular person start to lessen and do not come back as intensely, that is a sign of recovery.
 

Maybe this will help you understand a little bit how recovery works.
 

One’s nervous system becomes more difficult to rattle over time.  Even if there are time periods when the sensitivity goes up again (waves), the overall trajectory is toward a more stable system.
 

Here’s an example: the startle response. Loud noises, people yelling, things falling and crashing usually affect me.  At times, they don’t — that’s when I’m numb.  I may have been experiencing anhedonia that is very disturbing when a loud noise happens or I may have noticed that I’m numb only because something crashed.  I used to be bothered by everything, even quiet noises, unless I was anhedonic.  Now, I don’t have anhedonia very often at all, but loud noises usually upset me.  Once in a while they don’t bother me.  That’s when I know I’m numb as I can’t detect it otherwise.  


Slowly, my system is becoming less sensitive.  It’s normal to jump at a loud noise and to calm down quickly.  It’s not normal, for most people, to completely freak out.  I used to all out panic and be unable to calm down for a long time.  That is changing.
 

The non-linear nature of this recovery means that I never get my footing.  I don’t know when I can “safely” interact with the world.  I may think I’m doing all right until the recycling truck dumps a bunch of glass out of a bin.  
 

Then there is the second element of the startle response: recovery time.  Yesterday, my daughter broke a plate glass window.  There was the initial crack and then, a few seconds later, all the pieces fell and crashed.  I panicked when I heard the crack, but I flipped when I heard the crash.  Then, I recovered very quickly after I realized what had happened and there was no injury to anyone.  That’s a big deal.  The recovery time is becoming much more normal.
 

I used those examples because I think most people in WD have the sensitivity to loud noises, but the concept applies to a lot of symptoms that are not exacerbated by noises.  They very slowly improve, get worse during waves, and improve again.  Your baseline for a symptom will be slightly better after each wave even if the degree of improvement is not perceptible to you.

 

The day before, I panicked over something other than a noise, my husband yelled at me because he felt I was rude to him, and I ended up with severe SI for several hours.  If he had not yelled at me, I think I would have recovered much faster.  
 

(I don’t even realize it when I’m being rude, and I don’t entirely believe it.  My memory of what I said and how I acted do not match what my husband describes.  What I believe I told my mouth to say and what he claims I said do not match either.  Sometimes, I wonder if he had a form of PTSD from this experience and he is not perceiving reality when he gets upset.  He becomes very tense when it appears that I am going into a wave.  We often have a horrible argument.)
 

 

https://www.survivingantidepressants.org/topic/16629-rosetta-ct-may-2011-too-fast-taper-feb-2017/?page=25

2001-2011 Celexa 10 mg raised to 40 mg then 60 mg over this time period

May 2011 OB Doctor's Cold switch Celexa 60 mg to 10 mg Zoloft sertraline (baby born)

2012-2016 - Doctors raised dose of Zoloft up to 150 mg

2016 - Xanax prescribed - as needed - 0.5 mg about every 3 days (bad reaction)

2016 - Stopped Xanax

Late 2016- Began (too fast) taper of Zoloft

Early 2017 - Trazodone prescribed for bedtime (doseage unknown)

Feb 2017 - Completed taper/stopped Trazodone

Drug free since Feb 2017

2017 - Unisom otc very rarely for sleep

Link to post
  • Moderator
Posted (edited)

Thank you ❤

 

You sometimes say that you don't feel you are always clear in your writing, and I know it is not easy.

But, really, Rosetta, thank you : your posts are clear, well-written, very wise and always amazing to read for someone who is earlier in this journey. 

 

I'm grateful we have you in our community, grateful for your posts and your kindness to share your experience.

You're a real mentor ! 

Edited by Erell

2006 : 20mg Paroxetine + Bromazepam(no specific dose) 2008 : cold turkey of both

2010 : 20mg Deroxat + Bromazepam

2013: Switch from Bromazepam To Prazepam

2014-June2017 : Prazepam taper

2018 to August 2019 : Paroxetine 20mg taper (3% every 15 days).

- 22nd August updosed To 10mg (was at 8.4mg)

25th Sept 2019 To April 2020 : found SA, holding at 10mg Paroxetine. 

April 2020 : Paxil to Prozac bridge. Details topic/21457-

 

Current Supplements : magnesium citrate/ fish oil/ evening primrose oil 

 

Current medication :  7mg Fluoxetine (since 20 Aug 2020)

+ 1mg Diazepam (since 29 Aug 2020)

(Toothpick Paroxetine from September 2020 to 17th March 2021)

Link to post
Rosetta

AKATHISIA

 

I wrote this to someone.

 

I think it’s pretty clear that you have akathisia.  The frustrating thing is that it does not go away just because you stopped taking the drug.  For some people it does, and for everyone, we don’t know when it will go away, but it will lessen, just as all symptoms do.
 

It will slowly lessen over time, but there will be, probably, some waves that are worse here and there.  I know it’s a miserable condition.  Your best best is to stop changing things and let PWS run it’s course.  Every time you take a drug, drink alcohol, have your teeth worked on, etc., you are asking your nervous system to do something it’s not capable of doing — smoothly regulate your neurotransmitter activity.
 

It is particularly difficult for a person with akathisia to stay the course in terms of reinstatement or abstinence. However, once you accept that making changes will prolong this condition, perhaps you will find the will-power to get through.  
 

I don’t advise people about reinstatement.  I leave that to the Mods, but I think if I were you I would not try that again.  The mistakes you have made cannot continue.  I would not want to see you do it the wrong way and make yourself more ill.

 

Akathisia does go away.  It goes away the same way all other symptoms do — because you let your nervous system rest and find a balance.  You couldn’t be patient on any of your doses.  You couldn’t accept the waves and let them pass.  That’s ok.  Not everyone can.  Different people have different stressors in their lives, different tolerance levels for this syndrome.  
 

The problem with that is that your nervous system can’t take much more.  You might go from akathisia that survivable to aka that is not because you took a pill in desperation.  None of us know what your next change will do.  All we know is that each change has the potential to make things worse.  That’s why we need the make as few changes as possible.  You have made enough changes in my opinion.  
 

What I would do now is focus on finding the way for you to power through.  Relaxation and anxiety relief techniques did not work for me during akathisia.  Perhaps they are useful for some people or perhaps the degree of akathisia determines whether those techniques are options.  I suspect the latter.  


So, what to do?  The way to get through is to distract yourself from the akathisia. Having to pace makes it difficult to do anything else.  Listening to a book on tape, walking on a treadmill while watching tv, or walking in nature are options.
 

I am guessing that being a man with a business is quite different from being a woman who does not work at a job, but I had a child — a little child —through aka.  So, I had to “work” quite hard all but about 8-10 hours a day.  I did a pretty poor job sometimes, but I made it.  Aka is rare and mild for me now.  You can see on my signature that I quit all the drugs almost at once and never went back which was a huge mistake, but I survived.  You can, too.

 

The temptation to try to figure out whether the benzo caused aka or the AD did it or Quitting the benzo caused it — this is a very normal response to finding yourself in a big mess.  It is also one of aka’s mental symptoms.  Was it the reinstatement?  The fact is that it does not matter which mistake caused it.   Any or all of those actions could have caused it.  


How could this happen on a low dose?  How could this happen after a short period of use?  It can.  It does.  There is no research on this condition.  It is barely acknowledged by doctors.  It happens for different reasons in each person who is affected by it, but there is no doubt in my mind that it can get worse if the person makes the wrong  changes too close together or the changes are too large (dosage).  Once you have it, you need to be careful.  For you, that might mean that you have to control your impulse to make another change.

 

Find a way that works for you to get through the bouts of aka.  I had to distract.  It was very, very hard.  I used to sit on the floor and scream and cry during the worse times.  It scared my husband to death.  It took all my will power to not do that when my daughter was home.  Every bout of it peaked and then lessened.  I came to understand that every episode would resolve.  I had to wait it out.  I had to remember it was temporary.  I had to try to not think about it when I was free of it.  You can do the same.

https://www.survivingantidepressants.org/topic/16629-rosetta-ct-may-2011-too-fast-taper-feb-2017/?page=25

2001-2011 Celexa 10 mg raised to 40 mg then 60 mg over this time period

May 2011 OB Doctor's Cold switch Celexa 60 mg to 10 mg Zoloft sertraline (baby born)

2012-2016 - Doctors raised dose of Zoloft up to 150 mg

2016 - Xanax prescribed - as needed - 0.5 mg about every 3 days (bad reaction)

2016 - Stopped Xanax

Late 2016- Began (too fast) taper of Zoloft

Early 2017 - Trazodone prescribed for bedtime (doseage unknown)

Feb 2017 - Completed taper/stopped Trazodone

Drug free since Feb 2017

2017 - Unisom otc very rarely for sleep

Link to post
On 5/1/2021 at 5:51 AM, Rosetta said:

AKATHISIA

 

I wrote this to someone.

 

I think it’s pretty clear that you have akathisia.  The frustrating thing is that it does not go away just because you stopped taking the drug.  For some people it does, and for everyone, we don’t know when it will go away, but it will lessen, just as all symptoms do.
 

It will slowly lessen over time, but there will be, probably, some waves that are worse here and there.  I know it’s a miserable condition.  Your best best is to stop changing things and let PWS run it’s course.  Every time you take a drug, drink alcohol, have your teeth worked on, etc., you are asking your nervous system to do something it’s not capable of doing — smoothly regulate your neurotransmitter activity.
 

It is particularly difficult for a person with akathisia to stay the course in terms of reinstatement or abstinence. However, once you accept that making changes will prolong this condition, perhaps you will find the will-power to get through.  
 

I don’t advise people about reinstatement.  I leave that to the Mods, but I think if I were you I would not try that again.  The mistakes you have made cannot continue.  I would not want to see you do it the wrong way and make yourself more ill.

 

Akathisia does go away.  It goes away the same way all other symptoms do — because you let your nervous system rest and find a balance.  You couldn’t be patient on any of your doses.  You couldn’t accept the waves and let them pass.  That’s ok.  Not everyone can.  Different people have different stressors in their lives, different tolerance levels for this syndrome.  
 

The problem with that is that your nervous system can’t take much more.  You might go from akathisia that survivable to aka that is not because you took a pill in desperation.  None of us know what your next change will do.  All we know is that each change has the potential to make things worse.  That’s why we need the make as few changes as possible.  You have made enough changes in my opinion.  
 

What I would do now is focus on finding the way for you to power through.  Relaxation and anxiety relief techniques did not work for me during akathisia.  Perhaps they are useful for some people or perhaps the degree of akathisia determines whether those techniques are options.  I suspect the latter.  


So, what to do?  The way to get through is to distract yourself from the akathisia. Having to pace makes it difficult to do anything else.  Listening to a book on tape, walking on a treadmill while watching tv, or walking in nature are options.
 

I am guessing that being a man with a business is quite different from being a woman who does not work at a job, but I had a child — a little child —through aka.  So, I had to “work” quite hard all but about 8-10 hours a day.  I did a pretty poor job sometimes, but I made it.  Aka is rare and mild for me now.  You can see on my signature that I quit all the drugs almost at once and never went back which was a huge mistake, but I survived.  You can, too.

 

The temptation to try to figure out whether the benzo caused aka or the AD did it or Quitting the benzo caused it — this is a very normal response to finding yourself in a big mess.  It is also one of aka’s mental symptoms.  Was it the reinstatement?  The fact is that it does not matter which mistake caused it.   Any or all of those actions could have caused it.  


How could this happen on a low dose?  How could this happen after a short period of use?  It can.  It does.  There is no research on this condition.  It is barely acknowledged by doctors.  It happens for different reasons in each person who is affected by it, but there is no doubt in my mind that it can get worse if the person makes the wrong  changes too close together or the changes are too large (dosage).  Once you have it, you need to be careful.  For you, that might mean that you have to control your impulse to make another change.

 

Find a way that works for you to get through the bouts of aka.  I had to distract.  It was very, very hard.  I used to sit on the floor and scream and cry during the worse times.  It scared my husband to death.  It took all my will power to not do that when my daughter was home.  Every bout of it peaked and then lessened.  I came to understand that every episode would resolve.  I had to wait it out.  I had to remember it was temporary.  I had to try to not think about it when I was free of it.  You can do the same.

@Rosettaas someone with aka, I appreciate this post. I only wish I knew if mine is caused by wd or from the med they switched me to. But I'm glad for this post.

 

How are you doing after your bad day the other day? 

 

Aug 2004 - Dec 2006: Aropax ( 20mg - 30mg). Aug 2007: Fluoxetine (for 3 weeks).

Sept 07 - July 12: Lexapro ( 10mg - 20mg). Pooped out July 12. Titrated down off Lexapro over 3 weeks and switched to Paroxetine (with Xanax to cover switch for 2 weeks).

Aug 2012 - Aug 2019: Paroxetine (titrated up to 20mg in first few weeks,, dose reduced to 15mg . for 7 years until it 'pooped out'.

4th Aug 2019 - Reduced dose of paroxetine to 10mg (for 1 day) - under phychiatrists directions. Last dose of paroxetine.

5th Aug 2019 - Switch to 15mg Mirtazapine.

5th Aug - 15th Aug 2019 - 15mg Mirtazapine plus intermitent use of Lorazapm (0.25- 0.5 . Also used 12.5mg Quetiapine for 3 nights for sleep.

23rd Aug 2019 - Ended up in crisis team. Mirtazapine increased to 30mg. Diazapam 10mg twice daily.

30th Aug 2019 - Mirtazapine 30mg + Diazapam reduced to 7.5mg twice daily

6th Sept 2019 - Mirtazapine 30mg + Diazapam reduced to 5mg twice daily

13th Sept 2019 - Mirtazapine increased to 45mg. Diazapam increased back up to 10mg twice daily.

20th Sept - 29th Sept 2019: Mirtazapine 45mg. Diazapam being reduced from 10mg down to 0mg this week (in 2mg increments couple of days).

30th Sept - Thursday 3rd Oct 2019: Mirtazapine 45mg. WORST ANXIETY EVER. Akathisia. Couldn't stay still. Suicidal idealization.

Friday 4th October - present: Reduced from 45mg to 30mg (straight drop to alleviate akathisia - reduction definitely helped alot but still not gone completely)

 

 

, Vit B6, Curcumin, Magnesium (no adverse effects from adding these supplements - have helped akathisia somewhat).

* Everything done from 23rd August under care of outpatient crisis team management.

 

Untitled document.docx

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I’m better, @cathnz.  Thank you for asking.  I pulled off the birthday party today for my daughter.  I had a lot of help from my husband, and everyone I invited was very understanding.  I can’t be ready on time for anything especially here at home, but it was fine.

https://www.survivingantidepressants.org/topic/16629-rosetta-ct-may-2011-too-fast-taper-feb-2017/?page=25

2001-2011 Celexa 10 mg raised to 40 mg then 60 mg over this time period

May 2011 OB Doctor's Cold switch Celexa 60 mg to 10 mg Zoloft sertraline (baby born)

2012-2016 - Doctors raised dose of Zoloft up to 150 mg

2016 - Xanax prescribed - as needed - 0.5 mg about every 3 days (bad reaction)

2016 - Stopped Xanax

Late 2016- Began (too fast) taper of Zoloft

Early 2017 - Trazodone prescribed for bedtime (doseage unknown)

Feb 2017 - Completed taper/stopped Trazodone

Drug free since Feb 2017

2017 - Unisom otc very rarely for sleep

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IMPROVEMENTS!
 

I have big news! I took a NAP!!!  I have been falling asleep in the afternoons lately and waking up a few minutes later without a cortisol spike.  That was exciting news last month, but today was the first day I went to my bed and took a nap.  I think I slept less than an hour.  I woke up with a hot flash, but with no cortisol spike!!!  This is probably the first time in about 3-4 YEARS that I have had a real nap.

 

Another positive development is that my hair stopped falling out.  That problem has been less and less worrisome over the past year or so.  Yesterday, when I washed my hair, only a very small amount came out.  
 

My gums do not bleed every time I brush my teeth either.  They do sometimes, but it used to be every time and quite a lot.  (Apparently, I need deep gum cleaning now because I have had inflamed gums for so long.  The things these drugs do to us!)

 

Tinnitus is better, too — much, much better.  It’s nonexistent the majority of the time. I notice it now because when it happens it is for a short time - minutes, and it changes in tone.  Then, it gets loud and stops.  I think I used to have it most of the time at a low level, and it was just a part of my life.
 

 

 

Of course, akathisia is nearly gone, and with it the impending doom, terror and SI.  Once in a while it flares up as I noted on my recent bad day post.  What is more frequent is that, off and on, when I lay down to sleep at night, I have a jittery feeling that is a mild restless legs feeling throughout my limbs, both arms and legs.  Eventually, I fall asleep.  That has been happening the last few nights.  Sometimes, it happens before I go to bed.


Last night, my mind was racing as I tried to go to sleep.  That hasn’t happened in a while.  My mind used to race almost all the time.  It’s very nice to have that resolving.

 

I do not feel terribly anxious nearly as often and rarely for no reason.  Once in a while, I do, such as the 2-3 days I posted about most recently — the awful argument with my husband.  I still have anticipatory anxiety about almost everything I do that is out of ordinary, but it’s more mild.  Out of the ordinary for me is leaving the house to do anything, but drive my daughter to school and walk the dog.  Even a grocery trip can cause anticipatory anxiety.  Sometimes I do that while I am out after having gone to the school because I know I won’t do it otherwise.

 

The brain fog and confusion issues are sooooo much better.  I can shop for groceries.  If I get confused doing that it is noteworthy whereas it used to be a given.  Shopping does not take me hours as it used to.  I don’t get lost in the store nearly as much.Im more or less able to follow my list and even pick up random things that are not on the list but would go well with things that are on the list.  This is a major improvement in my life.

 

There are some things that continue to plague me:

 

I do not have much motivation.  I don’t feel depressed very often, but I feel very uninspired to do much.  Then, I feel sad when I have wasted a day.  Usually, I feel a desire to do something when doing it is not possible, such as after dark I may think of something I wish I could do.  When day comes, I want to stay home and do nothing.  I have little interest in cooking or anything domestic.  I used to love crafts, but now, I don’t feel any inspiration except rarely and for short periods of time such as for an hour or so.  
 

I find it hard to get out of bed in the morning.  I usually lay that trying to convince myself to get up unless there is something that requires me to be up at a certain time.  School does not start until 11:45.  Even if I want to accomplish something before school, I find it hard or impossible to get up.

 

Mostly, I do things that are good for my daughter whether I want to or not.  Otherwise, I’m a bump on a log most of the time.  I do enjoy doing the things for my daughter such as throwing her the party, but only once I get started.  If there is anything anxiety producing that happens, I don’t enjoy it very much.

 

Hot flashes are a constant issue.  They are more frequent than ever.  I think had about 4 last night and about 7-8 the night before.  They are disrupting my sleep almost every night.  Once in while, I have only 2-3.  They were a problem for me at night in early WD, but that stopped and changed.  They started to come on in the day when I got upset.  I would get short of breath then, too and start coughing a lot.  Now, I have them all day even if I am not upset.  I think I have had only one period in the last year, maybe two.  So, perhaps the hot flashes and night sweats are due to menopause.  Some nights, I get so cold after a hot flash that I can’t go back to sleep.

 

Ruminating sometimes happens in the middle of the night, once in a while I wake up in fear, and I do have a strong depression in the muddle of the night, too.  I contribute these incidences to cortisol issues and fatigue from anxious days as well as hormonal changes.

 

Dystonia comes and goes.  Sometimes, it’s very uncomfortable.

 

My energy level is, overall, low.  I need to exercise more.  When I walk, my muscles tend to work pretty well.  It’s hard for me to tell if they are not getting what they need because my brain is malfunctioning or because Om our of shape.  It used to be, quite clearly, a lack of neurotransmitters.  I walked like I was 80, and O could barely pick up my feet.  I called it “lead legs.”


I should eat better.  I don’t feel inspired to do that; I still have anhedonia about food.  I do notice when something tastes good.  It is unexpected.  I think it is more frequent that I crave something and have the energy to actually make it.  I made guacamole about a week ago.  I made my daughter’s birthday cake.  It was strawberry with freeze-dried strawberries in a sour cream cake with vanilla whipped cream frosting.

 

There must be other ways in which I have seen improvements, but that is all for now.

 

https://www.survivingantidepressants.org/topic/16629-rosetta-ct-may-2011-too-fast-taper-feb-2017/?page=25

2001-2011 Celexa 10 mg raised to 40 mg then 60 mg over this time period

May 2011 OB Doctor's Cold switch Celexa 60 mg to 10 mg Zoloft sertraline (baby born)

2012-2016 - Doctors raised dose of Zoloft up to 150 mg

2016 - Xanax prescribed - as needed - 0.5 mg about every 3 days (bad reaction)

2016 - Stopped Xanax

Late 2016- Began (too fast) taper of Zoloft

Early 2017 - Trazodone prescribed for bedtime (doseage unknown)

Feb 2017 - Completed taper/stopped Trazodone

Drug free since Feb 2017

2017 - Unisom otc very rarely for sleep

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  • Moderator

Oh Rosetta! I am so happy for you !

I know you still have healing to do, and I have no doubt that anhedonia and hot flashes are still bothering now, but damn, being able to take a nap ! Wow, your CNS is able to relax without freaking out : I'm so glad for you, it sounds wonderful and well deserved !

 

Thank you for sharing ❤

2006 : 20mg Paroxetine + Bromazepam(no specific dose) 2008 : cold turkey of both

2010 : 20mg Deroxat + Bromazepam

2013: Switch from Bromazepam To Prazepam

2014-June2017 : Prazepam taper

2018 to August 2019 : Paroxetine 20mg taper (3% every 15 days).

- 22nd August updosed To 10mg (was at 8.4mg)

25th Sept 2019 To April 2020 : found SA, holding at 10mg Paroxetine. 

April 2020 : Paxil to Prozac bridge. Details topic/21457-

 

Current Supplements : magnesium citrate/ fish oil/ evening primrose oil 

 

Current medication :  7mg Fluoxetine (since 20 Aug 2020)

+ 1mg Diazepam (since 29 Aug 2020)

(Toothpick Paroxetine from September 2020 to 17th March 2021)

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Thanks, Erell. Yes!  This is the miracle I dreamt would happen.  I can relax enough to fall asleep in the middle of the day without a “toxic nap” reaction. Although it’s incredible that the repair of my brain has taken so long, apparently, I’m in the minority of people.  Most people are not so unlucky.  I’m so grateful to be here for this.

https://www.survivingantidepressants.org/topic/16629-rosetta-ct-may-2011-too-fast-taper-feb-2017/?page=25

2001-2011 Celexa 10 mg raised to 40 mg then 60 mg over this time period

May 2011 OB Doctor's Cold switch Celexa 60 mg to 10 mg Zoloft sertraline (baby born)

2012-2016 - Doctors raised dose of Zoloft up to 150 mg

2016 - Xanax prescribed - as needed - 0.5 mg about every 3 days (bad reaction)

2016 - Stopped Xanax

Late 2016- Began (too fast) taper of Zoloft

Early 2017 - Trazodone prescribed for bedtime (doseage unknown)

Feb 2017 - Completed taper/stopped Trazodone

Drug free since Feb 2017

2017 - Unisom otc very rarely for sleep

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