Rosetta: cold switch May 2011 & too fast taper Feb 2017

[Rosetta]

Well, I’m back to early, cortisol wake ups with fear and intense anxiety.    It’s happening every morning.  I am eventually able to go back to sleep.  It’s quite hard to fall asleep again as I’m fearful and having daymares prior to falling asleep.  
 

The itching was much less this morning.  It’s still everywhere.  I asked for advice about getting the vaccine today, and there was no one to answer other than the young nurse who was giving me the shot.  She said it was up to me as there was no way to know what would happen.  No surprise there.  Just the usual disappointment.
 

The nurse asked if I had any reaction to the first shot.  No, the next to the last time I ate mango was before that shot.  I wish I knew the exact day.  Perhaps having the shot while there was mango in my body was the genesis of this allergy.   It’s also possible that this is just a phase of WD for me.  I once had an albuterol inhaler prescribed not too long after I quit Zoloft.  I was short of breath all the time, and might have been reacting to the flowering trees.  My sense of smell was very strong, too.  
 

I did take the second shot of Moderna.  The nurse asked me to stay for 30 minutes instead of only 15.  I didn’t feel anything at all different then nor since the shot.  So far, so good.  It’s been 9 hours.  My arm is very sore.  Otherwise, I’m in the same condition as I was this morning.  

[Rosetta]

On 5/31/2021 at 2:11 PM, Phoenixmama said:

Thank you so much @Rosettayou really should write a self help book , specially for parents of young children, it would be so much help them a lot 

Maybe someday.  Thanks for the compliment! 

[persistente]

Dear @Rosetta, I hope you will get better soon. Just wanted to let you know that my aunt had itching similar to yours when we were tapering her little too fast. We kept that dosagefor a while and it resolved by itself.

 

I realize you are done tapering long ago but wanted to share since it is easily possible that itching is a new wd symptom.

[Rosetta]

Thanks @persistente  I hope I’m not allergic forever.

 

The vaccine: I had my second dose on Friday, the 24th.  Yesterday, Saturday, was really hard, but I’m feeling better today.  There was no increase in akathisia at all.  In fact, I slept on and off all day.  That was odd, but a relief.  
 

The increase in dystonia was not fun yesterday.  It seems to be nearly gone today.  It was all up and down my right side and in my hip which is unusual but not unprecedented.  My arm didn’t hurt the way it used to 4 years ago, but putting heat on the arm lessened the dystonia throughout my body just as it usually does.

 

I had all over body aches, too, and a headache.  I was freezing for hours.  I couldn’t get warm.  At times, I was shivering and shaking.  I took Tylenol twice.  I also developed a cold sore inside my lip.  I have had one of those for many years.
 

Then, I slept very well last night.  It was probably the best night’s sleep so have had on a long while.

[Sheera]

@Rosettathinking about you and hoping for a beautiful window soon. ☀️☀️
 

Sheera

[Phoenixmama]

Feel better ❤️ @Rosetta

[Rosetta]

Thank you, @Phoenixmamaand @Sheera 

 

Last night, I had only a few hours of sleep.  I had what I think some people call “head pressure,” but to me, it causes a feeling of muscle tension all over my head, my neck and my shoulders.  Just like with dystonia, it gets worse if I read.  Hear doesn’t help much at all. This symptom lasted into the late afternoon today.  I believe this symptom is caused by monthly hormonal changes intersecting with post-WD syndrome.  I did not have this until after I first tried ADs at 19. Even then, I don’t think it came around until after I took fiorinal. Tylenol rarely helps, but I took 2 pills a few hours apart to test it.  Maybe it helped or maybe it’s resolving.  
 

Also today, I had diarrhea, another symptom that may be caused by monthly hormonal changes intersecting with post-WD syndrome.  
 

Tonight, I’m feeling better, but I still can’t read or the tension gets worse.  My mouth is very uncomfortable.  My palate and my gums between my teeth are swollen.  My lip is swollen.  It’s not getting worse as cold sores usually do.  It’s not the same swelling that the mango allergy caused. It’s definitely a cold sore feeling.  

[Phoenixmama]

I’m praying for good sleep for you tonight 💕 @Rosetta

[Rosetta]

@Greatful Hi.  Thanks for visiting my thread a while back.  I was in bad shape at the time with that allergic reaction, and I didn’t respond.  I’m sorry you have been so poorly “treated” by your doctor.  How sad.  You are fortunate to have  

found SA, Alto and the gang.  They will help you figure out how to untangle the mess.  

 

Before you put anything other than natural foods in your body, check on SA to see if there is a topic.  Type survivingantidepressants and then the key word into any outside search engine.  You will see a list of threads on SA.  There is one for almost everything.  

 

Do you have any dental work scheduled?  If so, post in your topic first before you go.  Adrenaline based numbing agents can really do a number on us.  Your doctor can write “No epinephrine” on your chart.  I had to have this written by the hygienist because the dentist gave me epi even though I told him not to.

 

I hope you are better.  -Rosetta

[Sheera]

@Rosetta I am hoping your hormones regulate soon so everything else disappears. ❤️❤️

[Greatful]

What is

8 hours ago, Rosetta said:

Adrenaline based numbing agents can really do a number on us.  Your doctor can write “No epinephrine” on your chart.

What is Adrenaline?  If that is novocaine , then I had better not have to go to the dentist for along time.  When I was a kid, I did not get novocaine and the drilling was a nightmare when they would hit a nerve, sometimes the drill would slip and go into my gums.🤐  It took me 7 years to go to the dentist when I got older.

 

I hope you are feeling better.  I want to say you are a big support to all of us here on SA.

I will be calling on you when I want to give up.

 

I have an  appt. with a new psychiatrist today.  Not sure what to tell her or if she will be on board to work with me.  It is via internet DUO, so I will not be able to give her any print outs.

If she doesn't work out I may have to stick with my one I have now until I find someone who can help me out and understands WD.

[Rosetta]

@Greatful Novacaine is the anesthetic.  Adrenaline (also called epinephrine) is the agent that causes the effect of the adrenaline to last longer.  Somehow, it prevents the novacaine from being carried away quickly.  Novacaine wears off too quickly for the dentist, and she has to keep injecting the gums with it.  Depending on the length of the procedure, I suppose it could be a problem to keep giving Novacaine over and over for too long.  Trying to tell the dentist why you can’t have epinephrine would be difficult.  Mine apparently didn’t believe me.  So, I spent about a week in wave thanks to him.

[Rosetta]

It’s Thursday.  I have not seen any increase in akathisia from the second vaccine dose.  (There was none from the first dose either.). So, that’s a big relief.  
 

The muscle tension has been bad for the last week.  It was the worst last night.  Yesterday evening, I developed a severe headache on the right side.  My eye hurt a lot, and I had the feeling that I wished I could take my eye out or have a hole drilled into my head.  I tried heat which hardly helped.  In the night, I got up and took Aleve.  Maybe that fixed it.  When I woke up again, it was gone.

 

We had taken my daughter to the fair.  She rode the Ferris wheel for the very first time.  We saw a baby pig race.  That was fun.  Afterward, at my MILs, I felt barely able to stay awake.  We had dinner there —which probably had MSG from a frozen, coconut shrimp.  I’m not sure how I will figure out what causes severe, one-sided headaches like that one.  

The day before, Wednesday, I had a headache, and neck and shoulder tension when I awoke in the morning.  I tried having caffeinated coffee, and it went away.  It had been there since the day before, Tuesday, when I woke up with it.  I had had this on Monday, and it went away in the late afternoon.  This led me to believe it was caused by hormones.  All day Tuesday, I tried using heat.  It was a completely wasted day.  
 

Edit: My lip hurt quite a bit yesterday after eating.  It’s an odd situation.  It doesn’t get worse the way cold sores usually.  It has been the same as it was the morning after my vaccine, but not getting any better either until yesterday evening.  Then, the swelling seemed to be going down, and tod it’s slightly better, too.

 

Edit: Additionally, I still have the productive cough I have had for weeks.  It was getting better, but recently got a little worse.  I’m starting to think I should have it checked out.  My daughter has started coughing again, too, just in the last couple of days.  Very odd.
 

I’m glad I had Wednesday daytime free of pain so I could enjoy the fair with my family.  That was lucky.  We had had to buy tickets for a specific day and time because of Covid.  
 

Perhaps I’m having hormone related problems that cause this muscle tension and the headaches.  It’s disabling.  I have wanted to sort and organize my house, but I can’t.  I have the mental ability sometimes and then I do other things such as exercise or plan time with my daughter.  By the time I get to the house I may have another headache.  It’s as if I’m living half a life.  The time I have available to do maintenance or proactive work here is so short.  The pain is taking the place of the morning anxiety/akathisia and the way it took away half the days.  
 

There must be a solution.  I should stretch more.  I should restrict my diet.  I should avoid reading or get my eyes checked.  I think those three things might help.

 

Edited July 1, 2021 by Rosetta
Add lip swelling and cough

[Phoenixmama]

the fair!!! how awesome 😊 , sending  healing vibes your way @Rosetta

[Rosetta]

Thanks @Phoenixmama  I hope as are doing ok today.

[Phoenixmama]

im ok just a bit of a wave , maybe the beginning of a wave , i wish it would peak and get on lol

[Rosetta]

I’m struggling.  Of course, I’m doing quite well compared to how I used to feel.  I’m trying I’m to remember that.  
 

My daughter is in camp 6 hours a day 5 days a week.  She has a 9 hour day on Tues and Thurs because an hour after camp she has a 2 hour gymnastics practice.  This schedule is too much for me.  I have to be up early, she needs a lunch, a water bottle, a swimsuit and a towel everyday.   We have lost her back up swimsuit, and she has no back up shoes.  I can’t keep up with the laundry.  
 

I haven’t had her teeth pulled as I should have a month ago to make room for her new teeth.  I’m worried sick about that, but there are several steps to get that done.  I can’t seem to get those done and be up early every morning with her ready and out the door.  I have hours during the day, but I’m just a vegetable.
 

I’m feeling depressed and hopeless.  My sleep isn’t terrible, but I have 4-6 nights a month when I’m up for hours in the middle of the night, and I find it hard to recover.  I think there are hormonal issues causing the insomnia.  I just had warm milk and I’m going to watch a movie.

 

I’m so lonely.  I lost the only two friends I had during the pandemic because they would not wear masks or keep their families safe.  I’ve tried to form a friendship with another woman, but she’s busy, and it’s mostly me making the effort.  I simply don’t make the effort when I’m feeling bad.

 

I want to get my house in order so that I can invite people over and not be mortified if they go in the house to use the restroom, but it’s too hard.  I have no energy after I take my walk each day.  It drains me.  The reality is that having people over would stress me out even if my house was all right.  The anticipatory stress beforehand would be hard, but I’m so lonely.  
 

I guess I just have to find the patience to wait to get my energy back.  I can’t walk and work on the house in one day.  It’s too much.  It’s not just physical tiredness; it’s a mental exhaustion.

[almuPA]

I am sorry to read that you are struggling, dear @Rosetta.

 

Dont forget that you are doing your best. Taking your daughter everyday to the camp is not easy, even for parents who are not going thru your situation. 

 

The stress over people coming over... I understand you (I am a perfectionist), but people are lest judgmental than we think. And even if they think whatever, well, is their problem. Your goal is to have contact with other people.

 

I send you strenght and hugs,

 

Almu.

[Hanna72]

Dear @Rosetta

So sorry to hear that you are struggling. You are not alone, it’s ok to have those feelings, just remember it will pass.

My thoughts are with you, hang in there💕

[Sheera]

@Rosetta I have been reminded of this lately too. We feel better than we were but still lack the motivation and energy to complete the normal tasks. The transition from wave to window and withdrawal normal is exhausting in itself. And the anticipatory anxiety hampers any goals. 
 

Who will I be today?   I am with you.

 

I hope you will give yourself grace today knowing you are doing the best you can and that is enough. Lower expectations are okay right now because your brain is doing some extraordinary healing. 
 

hugs—Sheera 

 

[Phoenixmama]

❤️

[Rosetta]

Thank you @Sheera @almuPA @Phoenixmama @Hanna72 It means so much that you care.  I’m feeling very alone at the moment.  Thank you!

[Erell]

Sending you my sweet thoughts and support ❤

[Rosetta]

Thank you dear @Erell

[Rosetta]

Yesterday was a lot better.  I cleaned out the bathroom cabinets because my daughter’s friend and her mom were coming over.  I meant to declutter the bathroom counter and then declutter the kitchen, but the ocd portion of my brain took over.  While I was trying to put the bathroom stuff away, I couldn’t find room for it.  So, as is common, I could not prioritize.
 

I barely made a dent in the kitchen, but it was okay.  The child’s mom never came inside the house - not even to use the bathroom!  All that worry for nothing.
 

After they left, I tried to cook dinner, but I ended up emptying, cleaning, and organizing the freezer!  I couldn’t find anything to cook, and I decided to fix that problem.  Now, I have a list of what is in my freezer, and the dog has a bonanza - a week’s worth of 2 year old, freezer burned dinners awaiting him plus a seven year old steak.

 

This is what happens when I try to clean my house.  It’s too hard to clean because of clutter, the clutter is too hard to fix without a full purge, clean and organize campaign.  It’s a big reason that I don’t start.  My house used to be clean because everything was swooped off into boxes, randomly packed and put in a closet, but I ran out of room for that approach some time ago.  A lot of thing were lost that way.
 

My daughter’s friend and her mother came over with their 4 month old puppy.  Our dog played and played with the other puppy.  So entertaining.  It was nice.

 

That was a full day.  I felt somewhat normal.  Also, I soaked and scrubbed a camp shirt that my daughter had covered in mud, and I cleaned and organized her hair doodles, barrettes and clips.  

I did not feel manic at all.  I didn’t feel jittery or very anxious either.  I felt as if I had a normal amount of energy.  I even swam a bit, and was able to tolerate cool water on my skin.  

 

There are still many areas I haven’t touched I’m the kitchen — the kitchen table, the kitchen bar counter, the hearth, the built-in China cabinet, the bookcases, and the kitchen desk all need to be decluttered.  We always eat at the island which was decluttered and cleaned by my husband today.
 

The breakfast table in the living room is cluttered as is the dresser in my room.  The laundry/storage room isn’t too bad.  The garage is a nightmare.  The spare bedroom is a nightmare, but I made some progress in there a couple of months ago.  
 

A day like today makes me feel as if I can get this problem under control.  It’s troubling that it has come on the heels of a crisis period and that I know my brain will fail me again soon.  How long it will be out of commission is impossible to predict.  I am buoyed by the fact that inviting my daughter’s friend over gave me the motivation to clean the bathroom and that the momentum carried through to cleaning out the freezer after they left.  It would be nice if I could choose a day to make progress on my house and be able to trust that my brain would cooperate on that day.  I guess that’s unlikely to happen for a while yet.
 

Before I quit antidepressants when my daughter was 5, I had days at a time of being functional and capable of keeping the house in order.  It would get out of order when I was in a wave (which I did not know was a wave), but I always had long windows.  I had time to catch up.  Unbeknownst to me these cycles were not PMS or PMDD, but chronic AD withdrawal syndrome since the birth of my baby and before.  It was upon the change in my medication the night my baby was born that ADWS (antidepressant withdrawal syndrome) became very bad.  We moved into this house just few weeks after I became pregnant.

[Phoenixmama]

❤️

[Londoner]

Hi Rosetta,

 

I just wanted to let you know how much your reassurance, advice and kindness has helped me through the last few months. I know all of our withdrawal journeys are different but I really relate to your experience. You really have helped me so much.

 

I hesitate to ask because it is a big ask and you have already done so much for me. Would you consider ever speaking to me over the phone/whatsapp? I totally understand if you wouldn't be able to and I'm sure you're busy with other things. I fear it's not even appropriate to ask and if so, I'm so sorry and please just ignore me. 

 

Either way, your messages and support have already helped keep me alive and I can't thank you enough.

 

All the best,

Megan (Londoner)

[HealthHopeHappiness]

Hi @Rosettait sounds like you have been very productive about your house, that’s great. Having your friend round with her puppy sounds lovely, there is nothing like a dog to cheer you up. I’d be lost without my two. Just wondered how you’ve been these last few days. Xx 

[Rosetta]

@HealthHopeHappiness

 

Hi, Health,

 

Well, I’m doing all right under the circumstances.  I’m in a window.  Thank you for asking.  That’s very kind of you.  I hope you are well?
 

My daughter has Covid, and I’m trying to stay calm.  She’s fine so far, but she is somewhat sick, and I’m crossing my fingers that she will be all right.  I’m waiting for the magic 21-28 days to be over without a serious illness presenting.  
 

My husband is sick, too.  He feels worse than my daughter, and I had a very mild fever today.  Our vaccines should protect us, my husband and I, but I’m concerned about him nonetheless.  
 

I had head pressure this morning, and I can’t read without getting head pressure.  Otherwise, I don’t have any PWS issues that are very bothersome right now.  I was able to go to the store to get food.  I have have no other way to get it.  I’ll be doing more than usual for now until my husband feels better.  

The Delta variant is nothing with which to trifle.  Many children are catching it.  Mine caught it from a child.  It’s affecting the vaccinated to various degrees.  Quite the mutation.

 

 

[Cheeky]

1 minute ago, Rosetta said:

@HealthHopeHappiness

 

Hi, Health,

 

Well, I’m doing all right under the circumstances.  I’m in a window.  Thank you for asking.  That’s very kind of you.  I hope you are well?
 

My daughter has Covid, and I’m trying to stay calm.  She’s fine so far, but she is somewhat sick, and I’m crossing my fingers that she will be all right.  I’m waiting for the magic 21-28 days to be over without a serious illness presenting.  
 

My husband is sick, too.  He feels worse than my daughter, and I had a very mild fever today.  Our vaccines should protect us, my husband and I, but I’m concerned about him nonetheless.  
 

I had head pressure this morning, and I can’t read without getting head pressure.  Otherwise, I don’t have any PWS issues that are very bothersome right now.  I was able to go to the store to get food.  I have have no other way to get it.  I’ll be doing more than usual for now until my husband feels better.  

The Delta variant is nothing with which to trifle.  Many children are catching it.  Mine caught it from a child.  It’s affecting the vaccinated to various degrees.  Quite the mutation.

 

 

Rosetta I’m so sorry to hear that. The Delta strain is in Australia at the moment and we’ve been locked down for a month and maybe more, for me it’s been a god send as I’ve been in bad withdrawals and not sure if I could’ve went to work, so great for me. I didn’t realise you could get it if your vaccinated, if so what’s the point of vaccination then . I hope your family recovers quickly. I’m so happy your in a window at the moment, it  can really help at these times.

[Phoenixmama]

❤️💕🌞

[Rosetta]

Today is Tuesday.  She’s been fever free for over three days now, but she has just fallen asleep in the middle of the afternoon.   This is very unusual for her.  In fact, it never happens unless she is sick.  
 

Last night, she looked like she had been up all night.  Her eyes had dark circles under them.  She’s been irritable and angry today because a toy went missing.  She was hungry, and felt better after eating.  I thought her sense of taste had returned, but now I’m not sure.    Everything tasted off for several days.  She’s still not eating a lot.  She help me make blueberry muffins, and she ate two.  She’s had a glass of milk, also.  That’s it for the day, and it’s almost 5:00 pm.

 

I’m trying hard to avoid catastrophizing.  My husband thinks that people who make it through day five are home free.  I’m not convinced of that.
 

She probably contracted this on Saturday night a week ago.  She had no symptoms until Wednesday.  She was tired on Tuesday afternoon, and we skipped gymnastics.  She was tested on Tuesday, and it came back negative.  Wednesday, she was tired, and didn’t want to leave the house.  She napped in the afternoon.  That’s when I knew she was sick, but she was negative.  She had a slight fever that reached 100 in the evening on Wednesday.   On Friday, we had her tested again, and it was positive.
 

Her fever has rarely been over 100.  Once, it went to 101.  By Friday, she felt fine, but food still tasted off.  On Saturday, she had no fever, and hasn’t had one since.  She has had a slightly stuffy nose.   She’s been energetic and happy these past few days.  It seems that this is a mild case.  Today’s happenings are unexpected.
 

 

[Sheera]

@RosettaI’m so sorry to hear about your Covid experience. If it’s not one thing, it’s another. I am thankful you are in a window while you are dealing with it. That makes it a little easier. I hope she gets her rest and is better soon.  ❤️❤️

[Rosetta]

Thank you, @Sheera  She woke up feeling fine.  My husband feels better, too.  He doesn’t have much ability to taste, and his sinuses are inflamed, but he’s less tired and grumpy.

[HealthHopeHappiness]

On 7/20/2021 at 7:21 AM, Rosetta said:

@HealthHopeHappiness

 

Hi, Health,

 

Well, I’m doing all right under the circumstances.  I’m in a window.  Thank you for asking.  That’s very kind of you.  I hope you are well?
 

My daughter has Covid, and I’m trying to stay calm.  She’s fine so far, but she is somewhat sick, and I’m crossing my fingers that she will be all right.  I’m waiting for the magic 21-28 days to be over without a serious illness presenting.  
 

My husband is sick, too.  He feels worse than my daughter, and I had a very mild fever today.  Our vaccines should protect us, my husband and I, but I’m concerned about him nonetheless.  
 

I had head pressure this morning, and I can’t read without getting head pressure.  Otherwise, I don’t have any PWS issues that are very bothersome right now.  I was able to go to the store to get food.  I have have no other way to get it.  I’ll be doing more than usual for now until my husband feels better.  

The Delta variant is nothing with which to trifle.  Many children are catching it.  Mine caught it from a child.  It’s affecting the vaccinated to various degrees.  Quite the mutation.

 

 

Gosh, @Rosettawhat a worrying time for you. I’m so sorry. I am just so glad you are in a window right now, that will help. Sending lots of healing and positive vibes to your daughter, husband and of course to you too. Take care xx

[ShiningLight]

Rosetta,

 

I am so glad you are in a window! How awful to have to be dealing with the delta variant. In my area we have exploded. 650 new cases Monday alone. Insane. I'm vaccinated but I have an immune condition and am scared. I don't even want the vaccinated version of this variant.

 

I hope your daughter, husband, and yourself feel better soon. Keeping you all in my thoughts.